How to Get Your Ex Back (and Keep Them)

As a relationship and dating coach, the most common question I get asked is “How do I get my ex back?” After years of analyzing and dissecting the psychology of relationships and why people break up, I’ve been able to develop a definitive method that will ensure you will have the best chance possible of getting your ex to come running back to you.

I know, this might sound too good to be true (and unfortunately, in some cases, it is too good to be true), but if you properly implement these simple yet powerful psychological tactics, you will optimize your chances of making your ex attracted to you again. This leads me to the first step in my process.

Step One: How to Identify Why Your Ex Broke up with You

Your ex is hiding the truth from you.

Oftentimes, in a feeble attempt to protect your feelings, your ex will say things like “It’s not you, it’s me” and “I think we just make better friends”. While these may sound like valid reasons, it’s often not the reason why your ex broke up with you.

In over 90% of my cases, the reason one person breaks up with another is because they’ve experienced a loss of sexual attraction. Your ex likely won’t admit to this explicitly, and sometimes they won’t even realize they aren’t attracted to you anymore. So if I were to sum up this article in just one sentence, it would be this: the key to getting your ex back is to erase the image of the old you, and infuse sexual attraction into a brand new relationship with your ex.

Click here to take an interactive quiz to determine your chances of getting your ex back… you might be shocked at what your results are!

By now you’re probably thinking, so what did I do to make my ex lose attraction? Is it because I’m physically unattractive? Chances are, your ex didn’t break up with you because he or she found you physically unattractive. Again, in the vast majority of cases, attraction is lost due to several behavioral faux pas that stem from one person’s insecurity and lack of confidence. And why am I telling you this? Because if you get your ex back, you simply can’t afford to keep behaving the same way. If you do, you will end up losing them again.

Regardless of whether you get your ex back or not, it’s important to learn how to develop good habits; your partner will be happier and you will be happier when you do.

So before I get to step two, I’m going to list several Universally Unattractive characteristics that kill attraction, regardless of whether you are a man or a woman:

Couple arguing with each other1.)  Being Too Controlling

I know it may have made you feel uncomfortable when your ex hung out with multiple members of the opposite sex. It’s completely normal to have these feelings. However, telling your ex that he or she cannot enjoy the company of their friends is not only wrong, it kills sexual attraction.

Instead, be more open to your partner hanging out with other people. There’s also nothing stopping you from doing the same, or joining them in these hangouts. Just be comfortable in your status as their partner. Remind yourself that they wouldn’t be with you if they wanted someone else.

2.)  Being a Complete Pushover

Human beings are hardwired to be attracted to powerful individuals. In the Palaeolithic Era, aligning yourself with such individuals would increase your chances of survival. Humans have continued to evolve with respect for these traits and generally continue to be attracted to other humans that embody them. If you’re conveying to your partner that you can stand up for yourself, then you will be much more attractive to them.

3.)  Being Jealous

Again, feeling jealous is a natural human phenomenon. I’m not saying that you should never feel jealous, because unfortunately, you can’t control these emotions. You can, however, keep these negative emotions in check. Swallow your pride. If you feel you’re getting jealous because your partner is getting all the attention at the party, don’t show it. Instead, be proud of your partner. Remember that your partner is a reflection of you as well, so any chance you get to brag about your partner, you probably should.

ex factor guide player

4.) Constantly Being Depressed or Unhappy

Sorry, the “emo” thing isn’t sexy at all. Emotions are infectious. If you’re unhappy, chances are the people around you will be unhappy. Unhappiness isn’t an attractive characteristic. I don’t feel like I need to explain this any further, but if you feel like your happiness levels are beyond your control, then you may need to seek medical attention.

5.) Being Lazy

Laziness is a destructive habit that can lead to several poor life choices. On top of that, it’s a very unattractive characteristic. If you feel like you’re a lazy person, there are books and resources to help you eliminate this bad habit from your life.

You will often see this trait materialize over time in a relationship. Complacency is a huge reason why romances fizzle and die out. All relationships need constant work.

6.) Complaining Too Much

Contrary to popular belief, men complain just as much as women do. To nobody’s surprise, complaining a lot isn’t a very attractive trait. Try this: instead of complaining, do something about it. Don’t like how messy your car is? Clean it. Don’t like your new work schedule? Get it changed. Taking action is important for your well being, not to mention very sexy and attractive to the opposite sex.

Of course, this list is not exhaustive. Sometimes a lack of good chemistry or similar interests can quickly kill the attraction. More often than not, however, one of the six negative traits listed above has played a significant in role in your ex’s decision to break it off with you.

What’s the common characteristic among these six traits? Insecurity! You’re too controlling because you’re afraid your ex will fall for somebody else; you’re a pushover because you don’t have enough confidence and security in yourself; your jealousy is directly related to insecurity, and so on and so forth. If you’re doing something that conveys your lack of security, then I can guarantee you that you aren’t being as attractive as you could be.

If you want to learn more about what traits kill attraction, I encourage you to watch this video that I made. In it, I describe exactly what you probably did wrong, and I go further by explaining what you can do today to ensure that your ex doesn’t fall for anybody else.

Step Two: The Isolation Period

Regardless of how long it’s been since you and your ex broke up or how far away he or she lives, there needs to be an Isolation Period. Other so-called experts may call this the “no contact” period, however, many will lead you to believe that simply ignoring your ex will do the trick. There is a very specific way to go about executing the Isolation Period and it isn’t just about ignoring and “not contacting” your ex.

a woman meditating on a beachRemember what I said at the beginning of this article – part of getting your ex back involves erasing the “old” you. Your old relationship with your ex didn’t work. In fact, it probably downright sucked, and whether you like it or not, the reason it didn’t work out was because you made a mistake that led to your ex breaking up with you. I know, the truth hurts.

So now you have to erase those memories in your ex’s head. You have to give him or her time so that their emotions for you reset. Eventually, once enough time lapses, this will happen. I call this Emotional Zero – it is the moment when your ex is, for the most part, emotionally indifferent towards you. In order for you to build a new relationship with your ex, he or she needs to hit Emotional Zero. Only then will you be able to build a new relationship that is stronger and more vibrant than before.

Typically, the rule of thumb is 30 days of no contact with your ex. Studies show that 30 days is enough time for emotions to settle (and this period allows time for your ex to possibly miss you). However, there are exceptions to every rule; if you’ve been pleading and begging for your ex to come back this whole time, then it’s going to take a lot longer – sometimes, up to a year for very specific cases.

Again, you simply can’t just ignore you ex and then do nothing about it. You need to take action. So what things do you need to do during the Isolation Period?

First and foremost, you need to work on yourself. You need to go out. You need to have fun. Your ex is not going to want to get back together with you if you’re sad and depressed. Your ex will only be attracted to you again if you’re going out and making the most out of life – remember this! So instead of staying indoors and moping around, go out and have fun. Hang out with friends. Be social. Don’t be a hermit! You need to convey to the world that your life is in order and that you aren’t depressed. This can be difficult, but I never said getting your ex back was going to be easy, did I?

Again, if you haven’t already, I would highly recommend taking this interactive quiz. By taking the quiz, you’ll find out your approximate chance of getting your ex back (and what you can do right now to help your situation).

how to get your ex back quiz

Here are some tips that you can use to help you out during the Isolation Period:

1.) Workout

Exercising is obviously good for your health, but did you know that it can also improve your mood substantially? By exercising, your brain will begin producing chemicals (Serotonin and Dopamine) that actually make you happier. Make a stand – right here, right now – to start exercising first thing in the morning and I guarantee that the rest of your days will improve massively.

I know, I know… waking up depressed is hard. Knowing you have to go out and run 5 kilometres? It makes it even worse. But you need to have faith in the process. After your workout, you’ll feel rejuvenated.

man running on treadmill2.) Choose a New Hobby

Keeping yourself occupied will help keep your mind busy. Learn to play a new instrument. Learn a new sport. The possibilities are endless.

3.) Hang Out with Friends

I said it before and I’ll say it again, spending time with people who you enjoy is the easiest way to take your mind off your ex. Do whatever you can to set up coffee dates with friends, go to the movies, play video games, or whatever you enjoy.

However, do whatever you can to not bring up the subject of your ex with your friends. They probably don’t want to hear about it much and it won’t help you either. Instead, just focus on having fun with them. If you’re constantly a Debbie Downer, they’re not going to want to hang out with you much.

4.) Date Date Date

If there were only one thing that I could recommend to you during the Isolation Period, it would be to date around. Yes, date. It sounds counter-intuitive and counter-productive to getting your ex back, but it works. Why? First of all, dating is fun. Even when you’re on a mediocre date, it still can be interesting and fun to get to know another person. Secondly, it will increase your confidence. Third, demonstrating to your ex that you’re desirable and sought after by other people will increase their feelings of desire for you. And fourth, you never know – maybe you’ll be able to meet somebody that’s even better than your ex!

So, while you’re keeping yourself busy and increasing your confidence and value, when will you know whether you’re ready to contact your ex? This brings me to the next step…

Step Three: The First Contact

How will you know when your ex is ready to be contacted? Well, you won’t. But there are some rules.

If you’ve just recently broken up with your ex and you haven’t begged, pleaded, or contacted your ex, then 30 days is enough time for you to wait. However, if you have done any of the above, then you need to at least double that length of time. Depending on how many mistakes you’ve made since your ex broke up with you, you need to extend the Isolation Period accordingly. In fact, when in doubt, wait. 

Hopefully during this time you’ll have been dating, hanging out with friends, working out, and keeping busy with new hobbies. Now it’s time to attract your ex back into your life. 

Depending on the state of your relationship with him or her, you can either contact them by e-mail or text message. Under no circumstance should you be calling your ex at this point. Why? Calling at this point is far too forward. You’ll want to take things slow at first, not ambush them out of the blue. Besides, calling just screams desperation. At this point, you don’t want to convey anything at all.

hot girl texting on her phoneWhat you’ll want to do is pose what I call a Non-Threatening Question. This is a question that has a purpose. You aren’t contacting your ex to say hello. You aren’t asking them out on a date. The only reason you’re contacting him or her is to ask them a non-threatening question.

For example, you’ll want to send a text message that says something like:

“Hi, just was wondering the name of that restaurant we went to on New Years. Hope all is well.” 

This question has two components. One, it asks a question that needs to be answered, and only your ex can answer it. Second, it doesn’t demand attention. You end it with something like “Hope all is well” because it suggests that you don’t really care if your ex gets back to you or not.

If Your Ex Replies…

Chances are if you’ve been following my advice up to this point, your ex will reply. If your ex does reply, you’re in business. You’re going to want to keep conversing – engage in some small talk! Don’t reply too quickly. Reply leaving about 1 hour in between text messages. Yes, you heard me… 1 hour. You don’t want to blow it now, do you?

Keep up the small talk and occasionally end the conversation abruptly. Sign off with, “Okay, thanks. I have to go to my yoga class, talk soon!”

You’ll want to be the one ending the conversation in these scenarios. Why? Again, you’ll want to appear as if you don’t care too much. Right now, you just want to make it known to your ex that you exist but not that you miss them or need them in any way.

After this period, wait another week until you contact your ex again. Continue this process until you become friendly with your ex again.

If Your Ex Doesn’t Reply…

If your ex does’t reply, don’t worry. The thing is, there could be a multitude of reasons why your ex doesn’t reply. Maybe he or she is busy, tired, away, etc. There are a ton of reasons, so for now, I wouldn’t worry yet. If your ex doesn’t reply, then there’s one rule you need to remember: Don’t text your ex again! You heard me!

If you continually text your ex, you will be jeopardizing the whole operation. You’ve made it this far, so don’t mess it up! You’ll be tempted to text again right away, but instead, focus on yourself again. Go out with friends, and do anything you can to keep your mind off things. Take the duration of your recent Isolation Period, add 10 days to it, and then try again.

Step Four: The Magnetic Attraction Period

At some point in your interaction with your ex, you’re going to have to set up a meeting.

Remember, you need to have a good reason to do anything with your ex, so be prepared to come up with a good excuse to chat with your ex. If you’re confused about this, let me jump right into an example:

“Hi Christy — I’ve always known you had a better eye for interior design than me. I’m currently trying to brighten up my kitchen and wanted your opinion on some cabinets. Mind if we get together for coffee?”

Or…

“Hello Rob! I’m planning a trip to Peru this winter. I know you know so much about the country. Mind if we get together for a coffee so I can grill you with some questions?”

hot couple flirtingYou need to be posing as a friend. As of right now, nothing sexual should come out of this… at least not yet. You’ll be wanting to make sure you tell your ex that this will be a short and sweet meeting. Your ex will be intimidated and possibly turned off if you suggest a very long meeting.

Once the actual date occurs, you need to turn up the sexual chemistry. Start flirting! Flirting is the number one way to spark attraction again and compel your ex to think of you in a sexual manner. Don’t know how to flirt? Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered…

1.) Touch, touch touch!

It doesn’t matter if you’re a guy or a girl. Touching is a form of communication. Go to a public place and observe friends and lovers communicate with each other. Chances are, they’ll be touching each other in some way. Something as simple as giving somebody a “high five” is an incredibly bonding experience between two human beings. Finally, look how couples interact. Kissing, holding hands, and hugs are fundamental bonding gestures between two lovers. So make sure you touch your ex a lot in inadvertant ways. If he or she seems receptive to this, then ramp it up.

2.) Look them in the eyes.

Eye contact is a powerful thing. Again, when it comes to building chemistry (whether sexual or otherwise), holding eye contact is essential. But don’t just stare at your ex’s eyes. Stare at his or her lips too. This sends very subtle sexual messages.

3.) Smile at them!

This shouldn’t be too difficult.

4.) Reminisce about sexual encounters you’ve had with him or her, but subtly.

Try and re-ignite the passion by bringing up something surrounding a sexual moment in your past with your ex. For example, if you and your ex had a steamy sexual encounter right after the Dodgers game a year ago, talk about the events immediately preceding the sexual encounter. Try and remind them how sexual and passionate it was.

5.) Use humour.

Obviously, a good sense of humour is a powerful aphrodisiac. Make sure that as you’re flirting, you’re doing all you can to make your ex laugh.

Remember to keep things light. Don’t talk about anything negative. Don’t talk about how your relationship ended. Don’t argue. Remember, chances are this is the chance to re-attract your ex back into your life. You don’t want to blow things wide open at this point.

After you’ve used all these techniques, chances are your ex will be laughing and enjoying his or her time. Once your ex is showing these signs of interest in you, you have the green light to move into a more intimate setting. That means you need to find a good excuse to invite your ex over. However, again, don’t forget the fundamentals of this. You need to have a good reason to invite your ex over. Say you got a new collection of fish or the new Call of Duty for your PS4. Whatever you do, do not just invite your ex over for fun or for no reason. This will be a red flag for them.

If You’re a Man…

You’ll want to have sex with your ex as quick as possible. That means if your ex wants to have sex with you, it’s on. Have sex with her by seducing her and showing her the time of her life. You’ll want to do some research on how to make love and how to make sure that what she’s experiencing is the best sex of her life. Make the sex unforgettable so that she’ll never think about leaving you again.

Women get extremely bonded with the partners they have sex with — more so than men. If your ex has sex with you, chances are the next step is how you’ll get back together.

If You’re a Woman…

Then don’t have sex with your ex until he’s ready to commit to you. Don’t make it a big deal. When you invite him back, flirt. Keep flirting and make it sexual. Turn him on. However, the key here is to not have sex with him. This short of thing will drive a man crazy.

Once you do this, a little switch will go off in his mind and he’ll do anything he has to to have you.

At this point, you’ll want to set up even more subsequent dates with him and continue to turn him on. Continue being friendly, feminine, and beautiful. Pretty soon, he’ll want to have the “talk” with you. After that, you’re in!

Closing Remarks

This is a pretty long article, and to be honest, I’ve barely scratched the surface. This is why I wrote one of the best-selling books on the subject, The Ex Factor Guide. This is why I offer personal coaching to help people like you get your ex back. I think you’ve just come across one of the best, if not the best articles on how to get your ex back — scientifically. However, of course there are many holes in this article that I can’t possibly fill without writing thousands more words.

I also didn’t cover how to keep your ex. These are all subjects that are covered completely in my book, The Ex Factor Guide. If you’re really serious about getting the love of your life back, then I implore you to watch this video that I created. It will explain to you in further detail how to make sure your ex doesn’t fall in love with anyone else, and to ensure that your ex will come crawling back to you (oftentimes, on all fours).

get ex back video

About Brad Browning

Brad Browning, BA, is the world’s premiere breakup & marriage coach. Brad Browning’s The Ex Factor Guide, a program that teaches men and women how to win back their ex lovers, has sold thousands of copies worldwide. Brad has also released a similar program called Mend The Marriage that teaches married couples how to revitalize the spark, romance, and desire that’s been long forgotten. To top it all off, Brad’s YouTube channel has over 50 thousand subscribers and almost 7 million views, making his videos the most-watched and liked videos on YouTube!
555 replies
  1. Ivan
    Ivan says:

    My situation is a bit different than normal, so I’m going to have to give you a rough idea of my relationship and “break up” with my “ex”=
    I moved to England about 3 years ago (I was born in Venezuela). In my new school, I didn’t have any particular relationship with a girl (until I met Jordan); even knowing I had plenty of friends. I didn’t meet Jordan, until about 4 months ago. We actually met each other because we got moved together by the teacher, in this class there were only desks for 2 people, so I guess that encouraged us start talking to each other, although her best friend (which hated me) sat in the desk in front of us. I’m normally a bit shy when it comes to meeting new people, so it took me a bit of time to start an actual conversation with her. When I started talking to her I didn’t really think about what I was saying, and I probably came off as a bit childish and ignorant, however as the time progressed we developed a deeper relationship and at the time she really seemed like she really liked me. You could see her eyes shining each time I talked to her, she also started blushing more often and I caught her starring at me in the corridor a few times. With time we started developing a deeper and more powerful feeling towards each other, the thing was going absolutely great, I was about to officially ask her out, but before I had a chance I had a “fight” at school with a friend, I didn’t even punched the guy and he started crying like I was about to kill him. After that half the school was either scared of me or just thought I was a bully. The worst thing about this is that because of the incident she now started fearing me. After this I tried to talk to her again, but the few times I tried she would just try to avoid me, so I stopped trying thinking it was pointless. but the thing is that after about 2 months I keep on feeling this emotions towards her, and I keep thinking that she was the woman of my life and I can’t be with her because of a dumb mistake I made.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Ah, young love! 🙂 Strike up the courage to actually talk to her and ask her to hang out. Clear out this little misunderstanding of what had happened between you and this other kid. Anyway whatever the case may be, act responsibly yet try not to take things too seriously now since you may be in a period of growth and lots of changes, including preferences in attitude, personality, etc. Focus on your studies instead, all right? Take care!

      Reply
  2. Zane
    Zane says:

    HI Brad,
    How are you? I have been in relationship with my girlfriend for 2.5 years. Four month ago we started to fight for silly mistakes. Everything is bcoz of me only. She is saying I’m not like before I have changed like that she’s saying and now she broke up with me. She’s saying that she don’t need relationship and commitments now. And I was convincing and begging. She asking some time. I can’t be without her. Our relationship is like long distance relationship but not fully. After I came abroad we started to fight for silly reasons. Now I can’t concentrate in anything here. Help me with it.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that, Zane. This girl needs some space from you, so really let her miss you, okay? She’s also not telling you the truth about why she broke up, so stop attempting to talk to her to figure out why. Watch this: Signs Your Ex Is Lying About Your Breakup. Use the time apart to get an objective look at the situation and see for yourself the roles that you BOTH played that led to all this, okay? For now, I suggest you get busy with a lot of stuff like hobbies, work, etc. focus on what makes you feel good and take time to heal as well. Also read my Ex Factor Guide, which covers commonly possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Good luck!

      Reply
  3. Sara
    Sara says:

    Hey Brad,

    My ex asked for a 6-month no contact period during the break up and he said we might get back together if we both improved ourselves and the chemistry is still there. I told him to call me when he’s ready. It’s been only 4 weeks since the breakup and we dated for almost 2 years. I know he loves my dearly and I love him too. Should I contact him throughout the 6-month period with short messages or should I just completely leave him alone during this time?I really want to get him back and I don’t want him to forget about me. I want him to know that I care.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi, Sara! Watch this first: Should You Tell Your Ex That You Love Them? I know you want to show him that you still care, but you ought to be doing the opposite, okay? At least for the first 30 days or so. Focus on yourself during this period. Also read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential. Take care!

      Reply
  4. Hassan Ahmed
    Hassan Ahmed says:

    Hey Brad so me and my ex had been together for a month then she broke up with me and she said that she is not ready for a relationship and she dosent wanna be with anyone so she was really attracted to me and liked me alot too but I think I bored her and I think I was too needy I started the no contact rule and Im also trying to post happy stuff on social media and she is posting her pics so I think that’s a sign she is trying to show me that she is happy but she really is not she is trYing to play games with me so now what is your advise to me please help me and love you bro thx and how should I change myself?

    Reply
  5. Jack
    Jack says:

    Hello Brad , please help me
    me and my ex had confusion in our relation 2 months ago and that was because of me ..i didn’t give her much attention like i used to . we were dating for 1 year and our relation was intense and great. the real problem has started 3 weeks ago when i insist to meet her but she kept refusing then i got angry and mad and all my actions were drifted by my emotions ..even that i begged and pleaded her. one of her friends told me that my ex was crying all day when she has to refuse to meet me. then,in one evening i met her with her colleague (male) and i was under the influence of drug .i stopped her to talk but she told me that she must leave , we fought and start yelling in public , then her colleague interfere and grab her hand and i stopped him and almost hit him, he moved away and let us talk and she told me go now and i will call you later.. after a while a got a text from her telling me that there is no need to talk or meet anymore and she deleted my phone number. i replied that i understand and she may be right !
    After that i found about you in Youtube. and i found out that i messed up and did all the ‘Don’t’. but,i decided to follow you and your advice and i started with the ‘no contact’. after 3 weeks of ‘NC’ (23 days exactly) i met her by coincidence in an Event. i was standing with my friend next to the front door then she came and she saw me then she said hi and shake my hand. honestly i was surprised by her move. she was noticing me all the time in that event, even that her bestfriend (female) that i had issues with, did the same move, she came to say hi and talk . and after my friend and i decided to leave she was standing with some guys in the exit door, and i went out without saying anything to her like goodbye or somthing ,i just smiled. my friend who was behind me told me that after i went out she was watching me leaving. i wanted to text her that night and the next day but im confused , should i break the one month no contact rule ? please help me Brad and im sorry for my English.
    PS: i’ve never found someone who loved me in my life like this Girl did. and is till have some strong feeling for her.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Jack! Since there’s been some begging and pleading on your part, you ought to go at least a full 30 days without contacting her, okay? At this point, let her really miss you first. Depending on the damage done, it may or may not be too late…but then again don’t make the same mistakes! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Most people are guilty of this at some point. So if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  6. John
    John says:

    I need some help. This situation I’m in has me so broken. Basically me and and my ex were good for the past 3 weeks: good interactions… no arguments (which used to plague us while we were together) and just a general warmth. She started opening upto me and sharing more worthwhile stuff. Deeper stuff. We went out as well and snuggled in the movies. She basically saw that things could be good between us. We even started talking about seeing where things go and “getting it right this time” and “not rushing things”. Mind you before she would only say ” i dont want a relationship right now or anytime soon”. And shed let me hug her and give her little kisses on her cheek. But today we had a major falling out where we went out with a group of friends but she wasnt really by my side all the time and kinda was with everyone and i just felt sidelined and my behaviour reminded her of why we broke up… and now shes saying she needs to gather her thoughts and her exact words: ” i want to see where things will go but i just dont know if i can or will”. I dont want what to do. Things were good for a change. Did i screw up for good? What do i tell her to fix things?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi John, sorry to hear about the breakup. Your behaviour? If you meant you’ve become clingy, then that’s not good. It’s barely acceptable(don’t expect to spend 24/7) when you’re in a relationship and with an ex, it can be really truly annoying. Also, a plethora of emotions coming from an ex is somewhat expected when a breakup is still fresh and this is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with this ex. You both need to clear your minds first, all right? A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I’ve discussed here, watch it to learn a few tips to understand your situation better: Why Your Ex Gives You The ‘Hot & Cold’ Treatment (Mixed Messages Explained!). Good luck!

      Reply
  7. John Halley
    John Halley says:

    I haven’t spoken with my ex girlfriend of 3 years in about 3 months because after we broke up we tried to be friends, but she was hot and cold, friendly one minute and mean the next. I reached out to her the other night and we texted back and forth. She told me she has met someone new and that she was happy with her life right now. I told her that I thought of her a lot and really missed her. She only responded back with, “I know”. Since then I have tried a few messages and I am only getting short replies and if I respond back, nothing.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You ought to give it time first. Being friends is a bad move, John. You see, mixed emotions from an ex is a common theme when a breakup is still fresh and this is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with this ex. You both need to clear your minds first, all right? A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I’ve discussed here, watch it to learn a few tips to understand your situation better: Why Your Ex Gives You The ‘Hot & Cold’ Treatment (Mixed Messages Explained!). Good luck!

      Reply
  8. Donald
    Donald says:

    We were together for three years and it ended because I got stupid and moved out of our rental. We are both in our late 30’s. She accused me of cheating on her with my ex wife but the truth was I wasn’t. I was still talking to her and seeing her for lunch and other stuff like that but lying to my g/f. She finally called my ex who told her everything and she flipped out. I moved out. I should not have lied. I should not have been doing it. I regret it immensely. When I moved out, after a few days she begged me to come back but I said no. We started seeing each other again and it looked like things were going well. Then she stopped seeing me and broke up via text. However she didn’t end contact and I was so desperate for her that I answered her. I took your advice and went no contact but couldn’t maintain because when I wouldn’t respond, she would flip out and say mean things. Well, I finally went no contact and it turned into the 30 days and I began to try your methods. She wasn’t interested. Told me how she met someone and her life was in a really good place. She blocked me on social media and deleted my contact info she says. After 5 months I reached out again and she told me she had moved on and I should do the same and that I might want to seek help. She wasn’t mean, just not very friendly. She told me I was her soul mate. We were together for 5 years. How can someone just walk away from their soul mate?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Yes, man. You can’t really blame your girl if she thinks you’ve cheated even though you’ve just lied. Lies only complicates things. Here’s the thing though, since she thought you’ve cheated, she may be acting rebellious as a means to cope with the breakup. Three years is quite significant and I can almost bet she’s hurting as well and rebounding. So play your cards right, okay? Follow the tips here: How to Get Your Ex Back If You Cheated On Them. Once you start to see some progress, sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular,ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  9. Toby
    Toby says:

    We were together for four years when my g/f found out that I had been talking to my ex-wife. I just wanted to be friends but I also know that my ex was still in love with me. I lied to my g/f about talking to my ex. I also know that my g/f was snooping constantly. One night I went to bed and my g/f took my phone and saw text messages from my ex telling me how much she loved me and missed me. She broke up with me. We lived together and were engaged. I went to my parent’s house, but after a few days of talking, we knew we loved each other and didn’t want to end this and I apologized and we came back together. After about two weeks, and me being stupid, I said we should take time off. She asked me not to go but I did anyway. After about two months apart and coming to a realization I loved her more than life I asked for another chance and we began seeing each other again. After about a month, she broke up with me and said it didn’t feel right. Two weeks later, I was able to convince her to see me again. We started dating again, only to have the same thing happen about two months later. During this time I changed everything about myself. I was happy, caring, honest, open, giving, talkative, friendly, and treated her like she was a princess. Flowers, dinners, drinks, everything felt so special. Fast forward a year and this happened about five times. I moved to an apartment close to her and she came around again. It started out great and I had high hopes, but after only about five weeks, she did it again. We have gone almost one year without seeing each other. During that entire time we texted and emailed each other nearly daily. Sometimes she would send me pictures and other nice stuff and other times she would get mad and tell me how it was all my fault and I destroyed her trust and ruined our relationship. She has said a lot of mean things to me and a lot of things to try to make me jealous. We have gone almost one year without seeing each other and about five months with no contact. I noticed in the paper her father died. I sent her a text and she responded back and we texted a few times and it was pleasant. When I asked if I could see her, she didn’t answer or respond. Two months later, just a week ago, I texted her again and we talked for about ten minutes and it was very nice. Then nothing for the next few days. I emailed her at work this morning about a dream I had and she just responded back with “weird”. I feel this is a lost cause, but I miss her so badly and have never been with someone who loved me so much. To have her give up and walk away really hurts. I don’t know if there is any chance. Up until her father passing away, there had been no contact since last September.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Toby, sorry to hear that. It would have been cool to contact your ex wife if you have a legit reason for contacting her and if your girlfriend knows about it. Anyway what needs to happen now is to regain your now ex girlfriend’s trust after getting her to fully forgive you.All these will take time so try to be patient, okay? Give her time to process her emotions first and show her you understand how she feels by not bothering her too much, but try to be there for her in major occasions if she asks you to. If you still need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  10. Jenna
    Jenna says:

    Hi Brad, My ex and I broke up about a week and two days ago. We recently made 5 years in February, even thought our relationship has been an on again off again type of relationship we always found our way back to each other. Prior to this breakup, he had ended the relationship in May of 2015, stating that I was sexually distant. Fortunately, we build back the attraction but I rushed things by demanding back a relationship, that cause an argument and I ended up having another sexual relationship with someone else. My ex found out and he immediately ended what we were trying to build back. He got in a long distance relationship but it ended and we got back in a relationship in 2016. Since then, I have been building back trust and never cheated since. It surely wasn’t easy and we had a lot of ups and downs during that process. Then in January 2017 I moved in with him and things were really going great. Unfortunately, I got complacent and he thought I was no longer sexually attracted to him. He became scared and thought that this would lead me to cheat again and he does not feel as though he needs to go through this again especially seeing what we have been through. This is the reason for the recent break up a week and two days ago. I was very emotional and begged but then I began the no contact period. He messaged me last night stating that he will bring the rest of my stuff and he wished that I was the one but he cannot do it anymore. I remained calm and told him that I missed him and he said he missed me too but talking won’t help. Is this salvageable?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Jenna! It’s good that you’ve reached 5 years, but why the on and off dynamic? This often signifies that there are deeper, often hidden issues BOTH of you have not addressed, so look into that first, okay? Read this first: Things You Must Learn If You’re In An On and Off Relationship. Anyway as of now, I suggest to NOT rush into getting back together. Take time to process your emotions and heal from the breakup, so cut off contact for AT LEAST 30 days, okay? This will help him miss you as well. Only communicate with him (let him initiate) if it’s really about important stuff like dropping off stuff. Make your interactions as short as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  11. Vincent
    Vincent says:

    Hi brad, I just watched the video of your coaching program and interested but my situation with my ex seems hopeless.

    I first met her in early October, she broke up with me on January, her reasoning was the good old it’s not you it’s me, let’s stay friends, it was a general breakup situation (no cheating, abuse or long distance relationship involved). She did however say that I treated her really well and felt extremely thankful, but she just wasn’t comfortable. A week before the breakup I went to a movie with her and everything seemed fine

    During the relationship, I was extremely clingy, whenever she didn’t reply to my text right away or took hours I spammed her with texts and calls and got angry at her, initially she was okay with it buring as time passes I think she grew sick of it and called it quits. I think insecurity, clinginess, overthinking (whenever she replied with short answer I asked her what’s wrong), fear of losing her, co-dependency, they all ruined my relationship.

    Anyway right after the breakup I did everything from begging pleading crying writing a love letter and they all did not work out unsurprisingly, I found your website and immediately went into a 21-day no contact period, after the no contact period is over, I sent her the “reminds me of you text” to which she only replied with one-word “cool hahaha”, the trend continued for several days, I wrote lengthy text and she replied with uninvolved one-word answer

    Not happy with her response, I let emotion got the better of me and sent her mean, hateful texts, Ï treated you well and you wouldn’t even talk to me’’ ‘’after everything ive done for you this is how you pay me back?” ï am so disappointed in you”

    She immediately blocked me afterwards, unfriended me on snapchat, she didn’t unfriend or unfollow my Instagram though…

    A few days ago, in a last-ditch effort to get her to talk to me, I mailed her an empty wine bottle with a rolled-up paper inside it with an apology message, she didn’t reach out, I texted her and she didn’t reply

    Based on my situation, should I give up trying or is there still a slightest chance? If it is hopeless then I think it’’s pointless to register for your coaching program, can you help me brad ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Vincent, I think you’ve been chasing her too much and you need to back off a bit. Wait for her to respond before sending another text, okay? You mentioned that a trend has been formed. So you may also want to vary your text messages a bit and NOT send all reminder texts. Here, watch this: What to Text Your Ex to Get Them Back. No matter what happens, it’s also important not to let emotions get the best of you when it comes to an ex. I suggest you stay busy with a lot of stuff like hobbies, work, etc. focus on what makes you feel good and take time to heal as well. Also read my Ex Factor Guide, which covers commonly possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Good luck!

      Reply
  12. amanda
    amanda says:

    Hi Brad,
    My fiancé broke up with me after 6 years. Not only did he recently propose, but he diligently and actively planned things for the wedding. I have a hard time believing his harsh words of how none of that mattered and it was a mistake. He is also going thru a life crisis right now. His parents passed away last year. But I was there for him. Our relationship was not perfect but it wasn’t a bad relationship. I’m on day 14 of NC. I did beg and plead and make a fool. But he up and moved out of our place. And I live alone now, in a town I do not call my own because I moved up here for him. I’m afraid of reaching out to him after a certain point because I am afraid of rejection. I want him to reach out to me and I just feel so hurt and shocked he has not contacted me to see if I’m ok or anything. I don’t know what to do.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Amanda! Sorry to hear that. What triggered things to take a 180 and take a nosedive though? I’m afraid I missed that part, which is very crucial. I don’t think it’s the mid life crisis especially if you’ve been there for him and supported him all throughout. When did he proposed? Perhaps he was getting cold feet? What steps have you done so far? Complete the 30-day “no contact” rule first. You do have to reach out though to test the waters. Don’t worry, it’s done subtly. Watch this: How to Talk to Your Ex Again — Establishing Communication With Your Ex. Good luck!

      Reply
  13. Oliver
    Oliver says:

    hey brad i don’t know if i should just give up all hope, at this point it seems all odds are against me, i messed up big time

    my girlfriend dumped me in late january, it was a general breakup there was no cheating involved, she gave me the usual its not you its me lets be friends, i begged pleaded cried tried to use logic basically talked my way into her heart, to no avail.

    i did a 21 day no contact and sent her a text “you’re not gonna believe who i just met” from then on she replied but her responses were very short and cold like “hahahaha” “i see” “cool” it was at this point i messed up, i told her why are u replying like this i am just trying to be friendly, she said if iwas making conversation just to try again then your effort is useless, nothing can be fixed or changed.

    i sent her hate texts “i treated you well and you just dumped me like a garbage” she blocked me and called a mutual friend to stop me from pestering her, a day later i sent her a private message on instagram apologizing for lashing out, she didnt reply and post a quote aimed at me “eat that s**t dude”

    i don’t understand why she was so cold to me when the breakup ended on good terms, no cheating or abuse or fighting

    i messed up didn’t i ? is it even worth trying ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Oliver, letting emotions get the best of you is something you’d want to avoid doing with an ex. Get yourself to a point where you’re ready to contact her when the time comes. For now, you may have to redo the “no contact” rule. I suggest you stay busy with a lot of stuff like hobbies, work, etc. focus on what makes you feel good and take time to heal as well. Also read my Ex Factor Guide, which covers commonly possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Good luck!

      Reply
  14. Ashley
    Ashley says:

    hello Brad, me and my boyfriend broke up two days ago, we have been together for 4 years, and he said he felt like breaking up for a long time, and he should of dumped me a while back, but he was trying to distract himself by flirt with other women, the other day he told me he felt like sleeping with other women, and i mentioned the break up, at the time we both were calm and i felt that was a right decision to do, since i think we both needed a cool off period and see it from there. he wasn’t like this before at all, he was loving and caring, good to me and my families, he mentioned marriage and have a family with me multiple times, when he changed his job he was disappointed (which was about summer last year) and our relationship started to go down hill since then, though to be honest i was pushing him for marriage and such, and i do regret it! now i believe he has suffered from mild depression and he can’t function, and sometimes has suicidal thoughts…so before the break up, he cannot go to work and he can’t social with other people. he thank me for being so understanding and supportive, but the trigger of the break up was he stayed over at a girl he flirt with..we had this chat before and he said he was sorry. but then he started to get angry..recently it happened like this a lot..one second he said he knew I’m his most important. then one second later he said he hate this relationship and he hates me. one day he said lets talk about marriage and ring then later on he will be stressed and flirt with others…though deep down i still believe he a good man just going through some rough times. and i would like to hope that one day when we both improved and got better maybe we can get together again. but his reaction was first he felt guilty about the break up and he said if we were together again he won’t fail me. then afterwards next day he would say i don’t want relationship. i associate bad times with you…im very confused. and don’t know what to do, and whether i still have a chance to make him change his mind and stay that way?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Ashley! Sorry to hear about the breakup. He most likely felt that overwhelming pressure (from being forced to get married and trying to find stability in finances at the same time) and it has gotten to be too much for him. Give him time to get over the negativity — not necessarily the relationship, okay? You do need to look out and be careful NOT to do any of the stuff here: 5 Mistakes that Could Ruin Your Chances to Get Your Ex Back. The first few weeks following a breakup can be confusing for both parties and may be why he’s acting hot and cold, so give time first and do zero contact with him for at least a month, okay? Once you start to see a significant progress, sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  15. jomontgomery
    jomontgomery says:

    Hi Brad, me and my ex had been on an on and off situation since November of last year and finally 2 weeks ago we already called it quits for the final time. We have been constantly fighting since I always find out he’s been lying to me. We had a very good run for 2 years and a half until recently. It is heartbreaking since he already told me he doesn’t feel the same way anymore. I unfriended him on social media and cut off all contacts. I moved out from the house. I only contacted him about the things that I need to get from him. Last week I’ve learned he’s already flirting with his coworker which made me really mad even more. Do you think no contact will still work in this scenario? Thank you

    Reply
  16. Nikolas Oliver
    Nikolas Oliver says:

    Hey Brad, My girlfriend dumped me on January 26th, we were together for around 3-4 months (we first met in October) and our relationship was mostly positive, we never fought, her family and friends accepted me well, overall things were really great. But as time passes i started to get more and more clingy, especially over texts, whenever my girlfriend doesn’t respond immediately or takes hours to reply i always get angry at her, and whenever she shows up on social media but doesn’t text me back i confronted her about it, at first she was okay with it but over time she grew tired of it and that’s when she delivered the bad news, she pulled out the good ol “it’s not you it’s me, you treated me really well, i never loved you as more than just a close friend, i feel uncomfortable” it doesn’t make sense how someone who doesn’t love you would let you kiss them and have sex with them so i knew from the get go she was just saying that to protect my feelings, i was too clingy and needy that she fell out of love with me, she did offer friendship but i flat out rejected it. i wasn’t jealous though, during our relationship i let her go out with anyone

    after the breakup i asked to meet with her for a “relationship talk” thinking that i could change her decision, i begged pleaded and cried and told her how i made a mistake and how i would change, all that stuff, she still didn’t wanna change her mind, i wrote her a handwritten love letter, still the same

    ever since the breakup i haven’t contacted her in any way, currently on day 19 no contact, i intend on contacting her on the 30th day, i am really worried i will never get back together with her, i still love her, she doesn’t block me or anything…

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Nikolas, sorry to hear. Watch this first to help guide you: How to Get a Girlfriend (And Make Her Addicted to You). Anyway as you probably know from reading this article, you ought to let her miss you first, so employ the 30-day rule, okay? I suggest you stay busy with a lot of stuff like hobbies, work, etc. focus on what makes you feel good and take time to heal as well. Also read my Ex Factor Guide, which covers commonly possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Check it out at http://www.breakupbrad.com Good luck!

      Reply
  17. Nigel
    Nigel says:

    Hi Brad !
    My girl friend left me 4 months ago. we were long lost lovers from 12 years ago (when we were kids). A bad incident/misunderstanding involving her disapproving friends and family lead to us not talking for those 12 years and leading us to live our lives and being and dating other people (no contact for those 12 years). close to 2 years ago on very drunken april fools night i mustered up the courage to text her. we ended up meeting again soon after and we almost started dating immediately after long apologies and regret of not finding each other earlier and ruining ourselves for so many years.

    and over the 1&1/2 years we were together.. i was not a very good boy friend i’m guessing cuz i kept fighting frustrated with life and in general not having her around all the time. She moved away to a different country very recently on work. She found someone else (a colleague) attractive , she told me about it and decided she couldn’t do this relationship with me anymore (all the while saying she didnt wanna leave me). I think my aggressive response to her honest pushed her from not wanting to break up with me.. to leaving me completely and in bed with this other guy within the week.

    I’m obviously regretful of my actions, and i really want to try and win her back. I have even moved to the country she works (as it is almost like home for both of us) in order to try and re kindle things with her. I’m practicing the no contact and figuring out my own life (work out , friends, job, etc).. but we have broken up so many time before that i feel she really does not want to do this anymore. Also because she said so herself that its never going to happen again and i shouldnt live hopefully. At the same time she says things like she prefers to be alone and she cant follow her heart cuz its too painful. I’m confused and distraught about this. I really feel she’s the one for me. We’ve built mistakes over the years. I hope to get another chance with her to try and fix everything that went wrong.

    Sorry for the long comment :/

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. You ought to give it time first. Anyway is she coming home anytime soon? The distance seems to be eating away at your relationship and is contributing to it demise, too. Definitely let her miss you and employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. But if you start you start to see a significant progress, sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon?

      Reply
  18. Sophie
    Sophie says:

    Hi Brad! It has been almost 2 months since my girlfriend broke up with me after a relationship of 1y 6m. She told me that we became more friends than lovers, but the day after we broke up, she already kissed another girl. Almost 2 months later, she is still together with this girl. Is this still a rebound relationship or is it serious?
    After the no contact period, we talked again, we hang out, laughed and talked a lot and it felt good. But every time after we saw each other, she ignores me for a couple days. And when I finally contact her again after 3 to 4 days, we talk again like nothing happened. I don’t understand anything of her behaviour and I don’t know what to do to win her back…

    Reply
  19. Anya
    Anya says:

    Me and my bf broke up yesterday and I begged knowing that mistake was not mine. It’s been before also but every time we broke up he comes back to me again. But this time it was not my fault and he said that he is fed up with my all little problems and want to end this. He said please leave me and don’t contact me and just go to hell. Our relationship was of 9 months and we were very much into each other. I don’t know the reason but for now I’m not contacting him I want to leave him with some time and waiting his temper to cool down. He have a high temper and get irritated for normal issues also. I’m 19 years old and he is 23. I’m stucked what to do and what not to. he even blocked me from call and deleted my phone number. I still want to be his love angel for life… I beg please sir show me a path. Your reply will be so much more than anything. Thank you sir

    Reply
  20. Abby
    Abby says:

    My boyfriend and I broke up 3 months ago after our 3 year long relationship. I did no contact for 30 days then over our winter breaks from college he started to reach out to me again. It was all very confusing and emotional for the both of us because he would say things like “I miss you and think about you all the time” but then also say “I don’t know what I want and we just can’t work right now” We are currently long distance but next semester we will be at the same college. At the end of the break, I couldn’t take the wishy washy nature of our relationship so I initiated the no contact again. He was very upset by this but knows that its not fair to tell me he loves me without being able to commit. We both agreed if we hadn’t found anyone by summer or next semester we would give each other another chance. I guess I just don’t know what to say or do to help us get back together in the future or increase its odds. If what he is saying is true, then in the future he would like there to be a second chance for us.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup. I agree. He does sound a good deal confused. Perhaps it has something to do with the distance and you both are just trying to adjust? Give it some time first, especially if this hasn’t always been a long distance relationship. However, you both need to clear out the confusion first, so definitely take some time away from each other without communicating, all right? Let him really miss you. Watch this: How to Make Your Ex Miss You and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential! Good luck!

      Reply
  21. Jhen
    Jhen says:

    Hi. My bf left me its been 7 days since we broke up. He said his love is faded already. I chased him,begging to have him back but unfortunately he push me away. He dont want to see me. He said he will text me and visit until im gonn be ok. And he want me to open up myself to other men. Hes getting sick when he see me. I dont know what to do. I really love him were 3years and 5months and were always together. He said that i treated him like a material thing. Hes not willing to do it anymore. I need an advise theres a possiblilty he will come back to me? Many thanks

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise. I suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential!

      Reply
  22. Natalie
    Natalie says:

    Hi Brad,
    my ex and I broke up two months ago. We were meeting during the first month after the breakup – we met couple of times but it was always very casual. Sometimes he was extremely nice to me (complementing me etc) but then another time he was distant and not interested in talking to me.
    The situation was hard to bear so I decided to apply no contact rule. I think he thought I was meeting somebody. I contacted him a week ago, his response was immediate and positive but he didn’t engage in a conversation.
    Then I met him in a pub during New Year’s Eve. He was distant and not interested in talking to me, he actually seemed worried. Day after he posted a picture on Facebook with a girl that I don’t know. She looks very similar to me, they are sitting quite close to each other and look happy. I started getting paranoid that they are together although I have no proof for anything. I started tricking myself into thinking that she’s only a friend and I have plenty of reasons to believe it but I have a feeling that it’s just what I want to believe.
    Do you think I should try to win him back even if my worry is true and he is meeting this girl? I texted him day after New Years, he agreed to meeting me (I asked if we shall meet for a beer or coffee) and he said he is happy to read that I feel good.
    My ex was the one to ask for the break up but then we both agreed it would be better. Neither of us wanted it, he told me it’s going to be very hard for him to treat me as a friend. We decided to break up because of my problems with insecurity and jealousy, I’ve got quite a big emotional baggage. Thing is that I’m working really hard to fix it and I got to the point where I started to feel that we can start again (I used self-help books that really helped me and in a week time I’m starting a therapy).
    And if I have a chance, what should I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Natalie! I suggest to really give it time first and not rush it. It’s still important to put the “no contact” rule into priority because if you’ve been in touch after the breakup too soon, then you BOTH aren’t taking the time to process the breakup and been acting like it hadn’t happened. Burying the problems which had caused the breakup in the first place is the first step towards a doomed relationship. Make sense now? He’s likely rebounding, so play your cards right. Read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential! Take care!

      Reply
  23. Tina
    Tina says:

    My ex broke up with me 2 months ago, after we’ve had a 3-week-long break. Those times were heartbreaking for me and the break/breaking up happened so suddenly, since I thought everything was fine and he didn’t show any signs of not feeling good about our relationship. His reason for a breakup was that he wants to be single and that he is tired of relationships, but not girls. He told me he chatted with this one girl he met recently and told me they talk a lot and he even went on a few drinks with her, which made me more unhappy. We’re in the same college so we still see each other, and I proposed the no contact period a month ago since I don’t trust him anymore and need time to heal. The other day he sent me a text saying that he’s sorry for everything he did and hopes that I will forgive him someday, and that he is not talking as much as before with that girl. I am pretty much disappointed and don’t feel like talking to him again soon, but I still think we could perhaps get back together someday (which he told me when he broke up with me as well). How should I behave next? What after the no contact period?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Tina, sorry to hear that. He’s likely given you a bunch of excuses to break up. Watch this: “What Your Ex Meant By ‘It’s Me, Not You’” What’s with the 3-week long break, though? I hate to say this and I hope I’m wrong but breaks are almost always a precursor for a breakup and therefore should be treated as such. I suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential!

      Reply
  24. Anne
    Anne says:

    My ex broke up with me two weeks ago, after a relationship of about 8 months. We had no problems in the relationship, never fought, only have good memories. He was living in my city at the time so we saw each other often. But then, about three months ago, he needed to move to another city, about 2 hours away, for work, therefore we couldn’t see each other as often. So because he doesn’t believe in technology to connect two people, and due to missing me and not being able to see me often enough, he thought best to break-up with me. We were both holding each other and crying after he let me know of the breakup… We are still in love with each other. Is there still have a chance we might get back together eventually? I’m so lost and feeling empty. 🙁 I miss him so much.

    Reply
  25. gareth
    gareth says:

    Hi my Ex Broke up with me since February this year after two long years together we connected so well on every level special Then March she’s got with a New Stupid guy!! ,Summer 2015 we where going to have a Baby / family but 22 weeks pregnant we had a (miscarriage) wicth mess her up blaming me ect so I got verbal abuse at her most days and we’ll she said had enough we both really did love each other so deeply and she left me in Feb now been with this twat guy since April and everything is going so fast it is ridiculous lol I honestly want her Back!! been 10 months now Fed up i know she must still have Feelings deeply for me but trying to hide them because with new guy I just want her to lave him ; ( Help

    February – we split
    March – she date him
    April – they moved in together
    June – Engaged
    Now idk hopefully NO Family!!

    Seems like a rebound ? do I have a chance ; (

    June I did (No Contact)
    since last mouth she reached out and now Cold ??
    She said she wants to get on and see but nothing so far!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Gareth! Sorry to hear you’re going through this. Have you been actively trying to get your ex back? Don’t wait for this person to have a sudden epiphany. Keep track of what you’ve been doing to see if it’s productive or not, as far as getting your ex back is concerned. Have you checked out my guide yet? It may be time to revamp your techniques. Before anything else though, take the free quiz to gauge your chances of getting your ex back. Answer as honestly as possible, but also know where to draw the line. Watch this, for starters, to help you on that: Is it Hopeless? When to Give Up Trying to Get Your Ex Back. Good luck!

      Reply
  26. Meena
    Meena says:

    Hi, I had been seeing this guy for almost 8 months. We met online and were going to meet for the 1st time next week. We had a lot of ups and downs. There is a lot I want to say in detail but things ended Friday (2 days ago). He wanted me to send him money. I was going to but I changed my mind because I have my own bills to pay and such and I told him I’ll see how much I have left after I get everything done. He obviously didn’t care and told me to block and delete him and to stop texting him. I’ve stopped texting, blocked and deleted him as he wanted. He told me he would do the same but as far as I can tell he hasn’t. I really love and miss him a lot. I don’t know if we will ever get back together.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Meena. Sorry to hear that. Needless to say — but I’ll say it anyway — he has no right to get mad at you. You’re not responsible to give hi money, especially since you haven’t even met yet. Be careful with this type since he may be using you for your money here. I suggest you consider moving on from this or at the very least, give each other space so he’ll hopefully come to his senses! Definitely let him approach you first. Good luck!

      Reply
  27. Maja
    Maja says:

    My boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago. We were together for 2 years and towards the end it started fading and I just didn’t feel loved anymore. In Addition we had many misunderstandings. As my boyfriend thought I would break up he broke up with me. Since then we have talked 2 times and I have aplogized for my mistakes and told him that I know we could work it out together. He said that he doesn’t want me to get over it but he Needs more time to digest all of what happend and doesn’t want to be in a relationship. He also said that he will probably regret the decision of letting me go at one point, but for now it seems like the only right thing to do. What does he mean by that? And what can I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. This vid should help you get back on track: How to Not Win Your Ex Back. Employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, at http://www.breakupbrad.com Okay? Take care!

      Reply
  28. Pranay Agrawal
    Pranay Agrawal says:

    Our case is the same as u mentioned …she said it was she not me….she told tht dnt knw why shw has lost interest in me ….it happend 2 days before…althogh i begged n pleaded her the same day….bt nw i m not contacting her…. she told tht she want to b friend n has called me to meet this monday to spent some tym with her bt as a friend…wht should i do ??should i go or say her i cant meet giving some reason ??…how long should i follow the non contact rule in my case ??..plzzz help sir

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Begging and pleading WON’T help. In fact, it’s a recipe for disaster. Watch this first: How to Not Win Your Ex Back and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential! Good luck, man!

      Reply
  29. Edd
    Edd says:

    Me and my girlfriend broke up after seven months together. we had some problems of confidence in each other. She did things that were unacceptable like talking with her EX or talking with another guy on Instagram and some other things im not gonna write here and I kept silent instead tell her it hurts me and consequently i hurt her and text another girl. she saw that text in my phone and she took it very difficult. We broke up for a few days and then we came back. After we returned, things were no longer the same. i know what i did was wrong but although i tried to explain her that i did it because i was angry and Disappointed from what she has done and not because i dont love her. she played with me the whole time when we were back together because she knew i love her and i dont want to break up with her.
    After we returned, She started taking me for granted. I did everything possible to make her forgive me but she did not appreciate me she was once nice to me and once not, once loved and once not at least that’s how i felt.
    Now i realized that the 2 months we were back together she just used me to get over me and a few days ago she told a mutual friend of us that in this 2 months she tried to get over me while she was with me because it was to hard for her to break up with me the first time till she broke up with me again, she wrote her “Now im feeling a bit better”
    Now on one hand im disappointed that she used me like that and on the other hand the fact that she used me 2 months to get over me and now she says she is feeling a bit better and she doesnt say im great or something like that make me realize she is weak and she still has feelings
    I really want to renew the relationship with her and build something better. I hung up the connection with her
    How can i use this information?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup. Give it enough time first for you BOTH to clear your minds, all right? Mixed emotions from an ex is a common theme when a breakup is still fresh and this is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with this ex. You both need to clear your minds first, all right? A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I’ve discussed here, watch it to learn a few tips to understand your situation better: Why Your Ex Gives You The ‘Hot & Cold’ Treatment (Mixed Messages Explained!). Good luck!

      Reply
  30. Liladhar
    Liladhar says:

    Hello , I am Liladhar
    My Girlfriend breackup with me 2 month ago .. This 2 month I so many messages send her so many call her but she doesn’t reply clearly .
    2 mont is going on for our breackup so is it right time for start No contact rule ???

    Reply
  31. Lauren
    Lauren says:

    My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half. Two weeks ago he broke up with me via text while he was having a bad day. He said it wasn’t me, that I’d been great, and that it’s just him wanting some space and time to figure out his life. At a random point he did say there was something missing between us (and I figured out what that is). We agreed that we’d talk about things in person. I let him cool down for a couple days bc I was also preoccupied as I am a professional acrobat, and I had to go out of town that coming weekend (so last weekend) for performances. So a couple days later, I texted him that it would be helpful if we were still together til we’re able to talk about things in person, especially with my performances coming up, and that I could really use his support. He sent me, “I can do that for ya!” which seemed like a good sign. After not talking to him for a few more days, he initiated texting me during the start of my performance weekend. He also wished me luck before my shows. I sent him a picture of me in my costume, and he said, “you look different, it looks good! Crush it!” (crush the performance, he means). While I was on my way home, he asked me how my family liked the show, and I said they loved it and I wish he could’ve been there to see it too (he couldn’t come because of work). He said that the weather was bad and he was glad for that reason. That also seemed like a good sign to me bc he wasn’t really saying he’s glad he didn’t come, it was more because the weather was bad, which was true (it would have been a 3-hour drive). We also joked around a little during the trip. Finally, I texted him on Tuesday with good news that I had passed a certification I’ve been working on for a while, and he was really excited for me. I purposely haven’t talked to him since because he was a groomsman in a wedding this weekend, and there were a lot of events he had to go to. I wanted to give him a few days to get back to his regular routine.

    So I guess I’m wondering whether I should do no contact now or not? I guess we’re still technically together since we haven’t gotten to talk in person yet (and won’t get to until this coming weekend at the earliest). However, I also really do want to have that talk with him since I have no idea what inspired the breakup or what he’s thinking or feeling, and then maybe doing no contact after that. I figured out what was wrong in the relationship and I think if I tell him, it’ll really help him feel better. What do you think?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      An acrobat! How nice… It’s a very cool profession! Sorry to hear about the breakup though. I think there might be stuff going on underneath that you both would have to address as soon as possible. It’s hard to tell on my end since I don’t have your full story where I’ll have to look at different aspects at play. Anyway in general, I suggest to play it safe and NOT talk about the breakup or your feelings. What you’re doing is asking for closure of what happened and why, and at this point where he’s already asking for space, it’s best to show him that you’ve accepted the breakup. Don’t try to change his mind. If you talk to him about it, you might end up with more confusion than when you first started because feelings can’t be explained thoroughly anyway. Here’s to help guide you, watch this: How to Not Get Your Ex Back and here’s to help you understand things better: The #1 Root Cause of All Breakups. If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  32. Ana
    Ana says:

    Hi brad, My bf and and I been together 9 months he just broke up with me last Tuesday, everything seemed fine since we eve spent the weekend out having fun. Problem started when I got upset that he was leaving to boston to spend Thanksgiving without me. I used to live 2 hrs away and moved to his city 2 months ago, so I dont have anyone here but him . We had made plans to travel together but i lost my job and couldn’t afford my ticket, his ticket was bought by his best friend. So i send him a text that day tellikg how I felt that he was leaving me alone . He replied upset and said it wanst his fault I lost my job and I know we have made plans to go together. He needed to go cause his friend change plans cause he knew he was coming over. Anyways he said he was best for us to be friends and he would pick up his clothes and shoes that night. He never came but 2 days after he called my daughter and asked for me to bring his clothes to his place and leave behind his truck. I didnt see him. The problem is the day he broke up with me i got anxious, started texting him none stop then went to his house junp his lock fence and knock his door none stop too till I gave up and left. He hanst talk to me since, he told my daughter he just needs space and hell be back. as a matter of fact he askeed to leave his watches here at my home and he still has my house keys. I tried reaching out after that a couple of times but he doesnt replied. . His bday is next week and i order a cake for him already. What should I do. My sister got me the ticket and I will be leaving for Thanksgiving also same city his at and he already knows it. Im not planning to reach out biut this is silent ts killing me. Do I still have a chance with him. His friend wife told me when he got there he wouldnt stop talking sbout about me in a good way. How wonderful woman i am and what not. But why ignore me then. Help me here!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Ana. Sorry to hear about the breakup. Are you sure you’d want to push through with your plan? It may not be a good idea to do anything more than send him a birthday greeting on his birthday. Overall, minimize all the effort you’ve been trying to make, so becoming less available and focusing on your own actions and own life instead can help you greatly. Just make sure not to do any more of the mistakes already made. You’re also welcome to sign up for my coaching program if you’re unsure how to go about this or you’re planning to do something but not sure if it’s a good idea or not, etc. but I would have to look a the situation as a whole in order to give solid advice. Take care!

      Reply
  33. Erik
    Erik says:

    Hey Brad. I have an issue. About two months i met a girl at the college library, I liked her at once and in short, i reached her, met her and initiated chatting once a week as it was exam period. i always initiated chatting but she replied at once, there was fun in the air etc. then i asked her out, she came, we had a good time and then we continued to the second when we held hands, hugged etc. then she became more open, initiated chats, teased me, was cheerful and after two days she even invited me to meet and and we had a really nice time. However, even if that was the peak and i could by the way she looked at me and the body language (i could count each one of the “top 10” signs), after two days of going off radar, i reached for her, and she told me that things go the wrong the wrong way and initially she was aggresive and accusing me 4 stupid things, like she didnt realise we were dating, that i kinda drove her mind with my ways etc. after i told her that “no friedzone tnx” i want this and this, and everything u say could be said at least by phone, not fb chat, she became apologeetic and turned all her arguments 180o. then she began telling how good i am eetc, and that she doesnt want a relationship but a good friend and when i told her that this is not what i am looking for and nice meeting you etc. she asked “is that all u have to say?” and finally we said goodbye, she kept apologising and i ended the conv. and wrongly deleted her from social media. i am following the 30 days no contact. any advice?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You did great by not agreeing to be friends. Trust me, that’s just more trouble and you would’ve end up spending months, if not years, trying to get out of this friendzone. Continue on with giving her space and letting her miss you, okay? It’s too soon to really tell whether there may not be enough attraction on her part or if there was strong attraction to begin with, but something happened that made her changed her mind. So again, continue on with the 30-day rule. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon?

      Reply
  34. Edd
    Edd says:

    Me and my girlfriend broke up after seven months together. we had some problems of confidence in each other. She did things that were unacceptable like talking with her EX or talking with another guy on Instagram and some other things im not gonna write here and I kept silent instead tell her it hurts me and consequently i hurt her and text another girl. she saw that text in my phone and she took it very difficult. We broke up for a few days and then we came back. After we returned, things were no longer the same. i know what i did was wrong but although i tried to explain her that i did it because i was angry and Disappointed from what she has done and not because i dont love her. she played with me the whole time when we were back together because she knew i love her and i dont want to break up with her.
    After we returned, She started taking me for granted. I did everything possible to make her forgive me but she did not appreciate me she was once nice to me and once not, once loved and once not at least that’s how i felt.
    I really want to renew the relationship with her and build something better. I hung up the connection since we were talking last time a week ago. I’m trying to continue as usual.
    What can I do to make her repent and Understand that she was not “ok” all the time? And renew this relationship into something better?
    Thanks a lot (:

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      How long has it been since you two have reconnected? If this was recent, don’t expect your ex to warm up easily. Getting an ex back is a process. Are you sure you’re not trying to rush it? Setting a deadline is a good way to fail when it comes to exes, so I highly discourage it.What steps have you taken to put things back to normal? It’s time to re-assess those and see what’s working versus what’s not working. Sometimes, getting an ex back is like trying to fit a square into a circle, but oftentimes, chances are you’re letting emotion dictate you and therefore end up making the wrong choices. Have you checked out my guide yet? It’s ultimately up to you to act (or not act, depending on which phase you’re in) on getting your ex back, but it helps if you read it to know that you’re on the right track. Check it out at http://www.breakupbrad.com! Good luck!

      Reply
      • Edd
        Edd says:

        Hey, it has been almost a month since we broke up. I didnt talk to her for 10 days after the breakup and then ive done a mistake- i texted her and tried to talk to her.
        We met and talked about what was wrong in the relationship and it has become a kind of arguement. She cant accept that she was wrong in some of the cases. She says she knows she hurts me but she cant admit that she was wrong as i did when i hurt her. I told her i dont expect her to say sorry i just expect her to understand she hurts me and
        At the end of this conversation things were good we broke up and she hugged me and we even laughed about what would happen if we get married. i texted her good night after the meeting we talked a bit and then she wrote me good night too and thats it. i didnt talk to her since then. Im trying now the “No Contact Period”

        What do you think i should right now
        Ive done some mistakes like trying to talk with her, tell her how much i love her and i really love her
        But i understand as you say that those steps are mistake
        Should i keep the “No contact”
        When should i text her?
        And what should i say?

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          Hello, Edd! Try to stick to the “no contact” rule this time. A situation with an ex is fragile, so you’d really want to omit, if not minimize these mistakes. It’s one step forward, two steps backward with an ex & there are no unlimited chances with them, so if you can do it right moving forward, then do so. Check out my guide so you won’t end up making the same mistakes. Anyway employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, at http://www.breakupbrad.com and as to when to reach out, learn the basics of my 3R system here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup). Good luck!

          Reply
  35. Shreyaa
    Shreyaa says:

    Hey Brad! I’m going through hell right now or from the past one month.One month ago,i broke up with my bf.We both were completely in love.But i started having some issues with myself.My mood swings were a lot to handle for him an that point i just felt the need to break up and so i did.And i hurt him to the core which i never wanted to.He kept on begging me but i didn’t hear.Later on he started avoiding me and kind of did everything as you said in your video.it felt bad.I always loved him but i had to break up.I regret breaking up so much.But after that he said no to me.He said he’ll never come back as he cannot put faith in me.I have tried my level best but he is adamant that he cannot trust me.Even though after i realised what i did.I changed myself completely.I dealt with my mood swings and now i don’t get any.He cannot trust me.what should i do?I love himand he does too but he says he don’t have that much courage to come back.please help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear you’re going through this. Being temperamental may have played part in this. What’s causing these mood swings in the first place? Cut off contact so you can see where things started to take a nosedive to minimize the chances of it happening again to your future relationship — with your ex or with someone new. But anyways, read this free article to know how to go about it: What to Do If You Broke Up With Your Ex & Regret It. Good luck!

      Reply
  36. Ali
    Ali says:

    Hey Brad! My situation with my Ex girlfriend is a bit complicated. We’re both 35 years old and We have been best friends and so attached to each other for the past 11 years. During that time she’s always had feelings for me and wanted more but i didnt feel the same way although i had some feelings for her but they werent as strong so i decided to just stay friends. 8 months ago, we decided to make it official and start dating as boyfriend and girlfriend. She was really happy during the relationship and loved me more than anything. She used to even call me 4 times a day and was all over me. We talked about marriage a few times and had plans for the future even. Like any other couple, we had some fights but always worked things out on spot. 20 days ago we had a heated argument and she broke up with me and said that she needed some space. Straight away the same night i Obviously begged her to re-think her decision and promised her that im sure things will work out if she gives me a chance. Unfortunately she stuck to her decision and said for the time being she just needs space to think about stuff. I went no contact for 10 days and then decided to call her ( i know that was wrong). she seemed really happy to hear from me and didnt want to get off the phone. 3 days later i decided to call her again and she was even happier than the first time (i never mentioned anything about the relationship during both phone calls but texted her that i miss her which she replied by sending me a blushing face emoji). 3 days passed and she still hasnt initiated contact although i told her she can call me whenever during the last conversation we had. So i called her again yesterday and we talked about normal daily stuff and she seemed excited and happy to hear my voice again. Im confused and dont know what to do next. I really want this girl back in my life and im desperate to work things out with her but im worried if i bring up the relationship talk it might push her further away. Im also confused why she never initiates contact. Im worried if i delay things and not try to win her back ASAP she might move on from all this. I took your test and it said that if i fail to act soon i might end up losing her forever. I desperatly need your advice on what to do to get this girl back. Please help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Ali! She doesn’t initiate contact because you basically haven’t given her a chance to really miss you. Before thinking about what to do “next,” you ought to start thinking what to do “first.” And seeing how you haven’t cut off contact yet, I think it’s time you follow through. So try to stick to the “no contact” rule this time. A situation with an ex is fragile, so you’d really want to omit, if not minimize these mistakes. It’s one step forward, two steps backward with an ex & there are no unlimited chances with them, so if you can do it right moving forward, then do so. Check out my Ex Factor Guide so you won’t end up making the same mistakes. The steps of the three phases (based on my 3R system) are all on there, but I suggest you take it one step at a time so as not to overwhelm yourself further. Good luck!

      Reply
      • Ali
        Ali says:

        Hello Brad! Thank you for your reply! i appreciate it. I will definitely check out your Ex Factor Guide after watching the video and purchase it. I just want to let you know that 2 days ago before i got your reply on here i decided to have a heart to heart phone conversation with my Ex and try to fix everything and give it one last shot (which i know now that it was a mistake after reading your reply). I told her that we should try and work things out and it’s a shame to throw away everything without even trying and so on. Her reply was that she still feels annoyed at me about what happened the day we broke up and that she needs some time to get over it. She also said that it’s unfair for both of us to get back together when she still feels this way. She also added that she’s questioning if things will work out between us if we ever get back together due to us not being on the same page and that we’re different. Basically, she seems hesitant and not ready to get back together. I will take your advice and go with no contact this time which i know i should have done in the first place. Please note that she is a stubborn girl and pride is a huge thing to her. Im just wondering how long should i go no contact for? And when you said in your reply “if you can do it right moving forward, then do so”, do you mean that based on my current situation with her while keeping contact? Thank you in advance and your help is very much appreciated.

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          Now don’t be so hard on yourself. Depending on the damage done, it may or may not be too late…but don’t make the same mistakes! 🙂 On the flip side, however, you could just be overreacting, so don’t be so hard on yourself. Most people are guilty of this at some point. So if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

          Reply
  37. Shane
    Shane says:

    Im in such a confused state and not sure what to do.. I went through no contact for 30 days with my ex of nearly 2 years. we lived together and i moved out and did no contact. Also near the end of the last month of our relationship she started seeing someone else but not dating them and they’re still seeing each other. I’ve worked on myself gone out with friends went on a couple of dates so I’m level headed at this point and confident. I contacted her after the 30 days, followed the guidelines and I got responses but they are pretty short and show little interest in wanting to talk to me and there’s huge silence breaks between texts and I’m not begging or being desperate. Should I go back into another no contact period or keep trying to talk to her. I’ve searched around but there’s no answers to these questions about what happens after no contact and she shows little interest and what to do in this situation. Please Help!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear. Good to know you’ve been taking steps to help yourself. There may be NO need to redo the “no contact” rule. See, if you’ve recently reconnected, don’t expect your ex to warm up easily. Getting an ex back is a process. Are you sure you’re not trying to rush it? Setting a deadline is a good way to fail when it comes to exes, so I highly discourage it.What steps have you taken to get your ex back? It’s time to re-assess those and see what’s working versus what’s not working. Sometimes, getting an ex back is like trying to fit a square into a circle, but oftentimes, chances are you’re letting emotion dictate you and therefore end up making the wrong choices. Have you checked out my guide yet? It’s ultimately up to you to act (or not act, depending on which phase you’re in) on getting your ex back, but it helps if you read it to know that you’re on the right track. Check it out at http://www.breakupbrad.com

      Reply
      • Shane Irmen
        Shane Irmen says:

        I’ve taken the steps of texting her with brief texts with breaks of at least an hour in between. Im just wondering if it’s a common sign to see that she hasn’t asked questions or starts the conversation and she in time will start to show interest with my current situation with her seeing/doing stuff with another person.

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          This depends which phase you’re in. Have you finished the 30-day “no contact” rule yet and are now transitioning to the second phase? If you’ve recently reconnected, don’t expect your ex to warm up easily. Getting an ex back is a process. Are you sure you’re not trying to rush it? Setting a deadline is a good way to fail when it comes to exes, so I highly discourage it.What steps have you taken to get your ex back? It’s time to re-assess those and see what’s working versus what’s not working. Sometimes, getting an ex back is like trying to fit a square into a circle, but oftentimes, chances are you’re letting emotion dictate you and therefore end up making the wrong choices. Have you checked out my guide yet? It’s ultimately up to you to act (or not act, depending on which phase you’re in) on getting your ex back, but it helps if you read it to know that you’re on the right track. Check it out at http://www.breakupbrad.com

          Reply
  38. Ian
    Ian says:

    Apologies, I forgot one last question i had that i didnt include in my previous post. During the no contact phase, is it still acceptable to send ‘goodnight’ messages? Or just small casual and kind phrases like that? I don’t want to be rude by not replying to her when she asks how my day is going, or to seem like I’m upset in anyway by not talking to her.

    Reply
  39. Ian
    Ian says:

    Hey Brad, My ex and I (together for 2 years) broke up about two and half weeks ago. For the first week after the break up, we hung out and were very flirtatious and had sexual energy and I could tell that she had missed me quite a lot. However, I recently met up with her and was a bit of a mess in terms of crying and showing my heartbreak, and I’m worried it seemed pathetic. She still messages me daily to see how my day is going and to say goodnight but nothing more and the flirting has decreased on her end. How should I best approach this situation to try to get back with her? Is it too late to start the no-contact/self-improvement approach? I’m in college in time is scarce between semesters. The main reason for the break up was that we had a few petty issues/arguments that were reoccurring and havent stopped for about a year. I feel that we can fix things, but i’m worried she’s given up. What steps should I take in my situation to rebuild our relationship and love? Thanks for your time!!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Ian, sorry to hear about the breakup. You ought to cut off contact for around a month in order to let some of the negativity dissipate first, all right? Try to see why you argue too much and the root cause of these issues. Fighting can be a good thing, but not if there’s too much of it. Your best bet is still to cut off contact and yes, it will work in a sense to where you get to clear your mind to be in a better position to deal with an ex when the time comes — instead of letting emotions overrule everything, risking things to get blown out of proportion even further. Make sense? But will no contact ALONE work to get your ex back? In some cases it may, but oftentimes not, because the no contact phase is only part one of the three-step process I teach in my Ex Factor Guide. I also made a quick vid to those who are seemingly lost and could use a reminder on what to do: Want Your Ex Back? Stop Thinking About Them! (Psychological Warfare). Good luck!

      Reply
  40. nicole
    nicole says:

    Hi Brad. Me and my girlfriend broke up two days ago. we are lesbians. Because she thinks I don’t care about her existence. We fought a lot about different things that she doesn’t like, we kept breaking up and getting back together. But this time, she told me that she would disappear and she has a new girlfriend now. Also, I am scared that if I use the “no contact” period. I will lose her forever. What should I do ?

    Reply
  41. Lisa
    Lisa says:

    Hi Brad, my ex and I have been apart for a month now. He and my sister work together and they talk sometime and mainly about me and my up keeps. I found that a problem because he has my number and can call me anytime if he has questions or concerns about me. I ask him this and would not give me an answer. Why is he doing this? Thanks

    Reply
  42. jasmine
    jasmine says:

    Oct 25 at 5:52 PM
    Hi, i am a 15 year old female and I am trying to get back with my ex his name is Jake so i am going to tell you a little bit about mine & his relationship so it can give you an idea on how to help me with this process.

    We broke up basically because i didn’t want to be with him anymore, i lost feelings for him and for that reason i was kinda mean to him for a while cause i was just waiting on him to brake up with me which he never did until he just finally got tired of it. He had very strong feelings for me whenever we were together, he always talked about me to his friends he would always want to see me and etc. we got alone VERY WELLwe were both very serious with the relationship , we never really argued we always had so much fun with each other and we were always with each other he loved being with me by the way. before this brake we also have been with each other a couple of time but we broke up because we were just young and dumb and we didn’t really know what we wanted. there was times that we would brake up but since my brother is one of his closest friend he still comes over and since my mom and his mom has been best friends ever since middle school i still go over to his house and he still comes to mine. so before we ever went out we were BEST FRIENDS and than we started having feelings for each other so we went out but than we broke up but since he is so close to the family we always became close again but it would take time because he is the type of person to not talk to his exs whenever they brake up but him and i would always find our self being friends again. but now i regret being mean to him i regret losing feelings for him because they all have came back and now all i want is him, all i think about is him. i just really want him back. he treated me so well i trusted him, we actually trusted each other. i see him a lot because we are in the same class together and cause he comes over to my house a lot or i would go over to his house sometimes . so i got my cousin to talk to him and see how he feels about me and he told her that he doesn’t like me anymore and that he doesn’t trust me anymore and the reason why he doesn’t trust me is because before we broke up and whenever i was losing feelings for him i started talking to this one guy name Don’te that i knew whenever i lived in Houston and whenever Jake ask me about him i lied to him and told him that was my cousin and he end up finding out that wasn’t my cousin right after we broke up so that’s why he doesn’t trust me. can you help me please, i want him to be able to trust me again , i want him to want to be with me like he did before. thanks

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Jasmine, rebuilding trust is really tough, so give him enough space to process his own feelings, okay? This may be what’s categorized as emotional cheating, so watch and follow the tips here: How to Get Your Ex Back After Cheating. But whatever the case may be, act responsibly yet try not to take things too seriously now since you may be in a period of growth and lots of changes, including preferences in attitude, personality, etc. Focus on your studies instead, all right? Take care!

      Reply
  43. Ida
    Ida says:

    Hey Brad. I Need help and I hope that you are the one, who can help me. I’ve been thinking a lot lately and I dont know what to do with myself. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. He is 19 and I’m 18 years old. He broke up with me last week. We didn’t have any problems. No cheating, jelousy or anything like that. We never argued with each other. We were in a long distance relationship. He was the kinda person who didn’t like texting a lot which I accepted and didn’t think much about because he isn’t the texting kinda guy. When he came over last week he told me that he wanted to break up. I got surprised because I didn’t see any problems with our relationship. We were so happy together. He told me that he had lost feelings for me, that he needed me everyday and not just every other week, he would rather be alone, he doesn’t know what he wants. So I accepted that. But after we had the conversation late at night, he asked if he should leave and go back home. I said that he should stay because we weren’t angry at each other and I couldn’t just let him go outside were he didn’t had anywhere to go – I thought we should handle it as adults instead of making a mess out of it. The same night we broke up we layed in bed together, hugged and had sex. He left after 3 days. Up until he went home we cried a lot together, kissed, had a lot of fun like nothing had changed. I didn’t come into that friendzone at all. He treated me as his girlfriend. He told me that he couldn’t say goodbye to me, that I was the only one who were there for him and the only one he could talk to. He didn’t find me boring or anything and that he loves all the days we spent with each other. The morning he went home we held hands the whole way to the station and kissed goodbye. We weren’t like other couples. Our relationship ended in such a great way, but because of that I dont feel like it’s over. I can’t see why it should have ended. I understood that he felt alone at home and needed me there because of the problems with his family. He really felt alone in this World. I tried to be there and wanted to go more often but he didn’t want that. I said he could text and Call me anytime but he couldn’t do that either because he never asked anyone for help. But because of that I can’t see why he said goodbye to the only thing that made him happy. I dont know what to do. Already later the same day, he texted me and asked how I was and that he had a great time. I agreed to be his friend and always be there for him (Which I found out that I shouldn’t be friends through your videos). He texted me yesterday and asked how I was and said that he’s hoping, that I’m having a great day and all. He also told me that he’s still thinking about how great his days over here was with me and how happy he was. I never contacted him. I only replied his texts and it was always after one hour or two. I dont know if I can get him back. I tried your test that said I have a chance to get him back, but that I needed to act quickly but how do I do that? I really dont know what to do or how to feel. I dont know why we couldn’t get back together, when we always were so happy and never had a fight or anything. Only happy days and good memories. He cried so much when he came over. I dont know what to expect know. I know that I can’t text him because I want him to have the time that he said he needed. But what am I going to do? Do we have a chance to get back together and how am I supposed to act quickly. I really need help because I can’t see why this is happening. I dont know what went wrong. Why did we end the breakup that way? No one does that. It’s so weird. And all my friends are telling me that it doesn’t sound like a normal breakup so I’m asking myself ‘is this really over?’ Can this really be over when nothing went wrong? I hope you can help me. I really need your help. I dont have anyone else to ask.

    – Ida

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Ida, I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation at http://www.breakupbrad.com/coaching Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  44. Dan
    Dan says:

    Hey Brad. Me and my girlfriend broke up about 3 and a half weeks ago. We were together just under a year (our anniversary should of been 2 weeks ago)

    There were no hard feelings with our breakup. Apart from me being incredibly sad and her probably feeling guilty. She said she doesn’t feel the spark anymore. But I think it might be she likes another guy.

    Started NC the day after we broke up. However from reading comments on your videos and asking others I messaged her good luck for this important business trip she was on. I don’t want to make this too long but this is what I said “Hey sorry to message and know this is out of the blue but just wanted to wish you good luck with your business trip. You’ll do great and your hoodie should be there when you’re back :)”

    She replied back to me “thank you!:)”. Now I don’t know what I’m meant to do. Obviously I can’t really make small conversation off that. What do you think? Is it just a no go because she didn’t make conversation? Is it that short because she didn’t know what to say or didn’t put in the effort? Should I wait a few days to say something. What could I say. I am around her area in the next week with friends. You think I could ask her to have a drink with us?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Dan! Well… just because the first conversation was a dead end doesn’t mean it’s all over. The success or failure isn’t determined by that one particular event. Getting an ex back is a process and for starters, you can’t really expect her to warm up to you all of a sudden. Learn to be patient and play your cards right, instead, so you’d be guided on how to go about this. For now, focus on the second phase. Have you read my Ex Factor Guide yet? Use my Youtube videos as reference, particularly this: How to Get Your Ex Back By Texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  45. Taylor Wilson
    Taylor Wilson says:

    Hey, Brad. I and my Ex broke up 3 weeks ago after being together for just under a year (our anniversary should have been 2 weeks ago 🙁 ) She suffers from bipolar so she is either very emotional and intense and at other times quite hollow. However, we broke up 3 weeks ago as I said. She said she felt empty about everything and that there was no spark in our relationship. The optimistic side of me would say that it’s just the bipolar and depression coming back in full swing. But if I think to myself I honestly think it’s a mixture of me being a bit of a pushover (always being very soft and lovely) and not being much of a ‘man’ and her having feelings for some other dude.

    I’ve been following your Ex factor guide. 3 weeks into NC. I had to block her on social media to stop myself from constantly looking at her facebook/snap chat/Instagram. I’m feeling better about breaking up and accepted that this may never happen again. But I love her so much and want to be with her. So I at least need to try right?

    In a couple days, she is going to this big internship thing at this huge company which she has been going nuts over with excitement but very nervous about. Do you think it’s a good idea to say good luck to her and not to be nervous and I’m sure she’ll do great? and then when it is Halloween I’m meeting up with a couple of my mates in the area and I need to give her back her house key and clothes. I was thinking I would just go into the front of the house. Hang up her hoodie but put a note which she gave me ages ago (just calling me an idiot. Quite cute though) in the pocket. Then text her I dropped it off. Is that a good idea? Should I text her asking if she wants to hang out after the parties we go to or something? What should I do if she asks me?

    Sorry, this was really long Brad. I know you’re a busy man. But I don’t really have the money for the coaching and I already brought the Ex- Factor guide but some of the stuff applying to my situation isn’t applicable.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi! I’m glad you now have the tools to guide you on what to do. Now I know it’s difficult (and it’s a different challenge all on its own) but try to follow the guide down to a tee, all right? Read it many times over until you master it. Since it’s been three weeks of what I assume is a complete “no contact” with your ex, then yes, you can send her a quick message, just be sure to be highly aware of stuff I mentioned in the guide and never bring up drama, okay? End the conversation first. Use this as reference to the guide, too: What to Talk About With Your Ex (3 Conversation Do’s & Don’ts). Good luck!

      Reply
  46. Noor
    Noor says:

    Hi Brad.
    I’m watching your videos everyday. I wanted to ask you what I should do with him, because he became very strange. He said that we can be friend anymore and he doesn’t have much time for me. I left him and didn’t talk with him privately since he’s my teacher. Months ago he started to ignore me and didn’t pay attention for me. These days he’s starting laugh with me, tell people that Noor did a good job and saying many good thing on me, but he didn’t send me any private message yet. I really don’t know how to treat him. Sorry for sending many messages for you, but I really need your help. Thanks a lot. 🙂

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Noor. Sorry to hear it. I suggest you consider moving on from this, okay? It’s more likely that the reason he hasn’t talked to you is because he’s afraid of losing his job. So move on from this and try to date someone who can date you freely and openly, all right? Take care!

      Reply
      • Noor
        Noor says:

        Hi Brad.
        Thanks for your advice and I appreciate your help for me. He’s not afraid of losing his job, he’s trying to talk with me in our sessions as much as he can but he’s not doing that privately. So, I’m sure he’s doing that in purpose.
        Thanks again, you helped me a lot.

        Reply
  47. Jess
    Jess says:

    Hi brad!
    My ex broke up with me a month ago. We were together for 3 months and it was intensive. He broke up with me after a fight the night before. He said we arent compatible, we fight all the time and he cant see a future. But, he was very serious about the relationship and always talked about the future. I have to mention that his friends didnt like the fact that he had a girlfriend. I became needy and insecure. I begged at the time of the breakup (unfortunately) and directly after he left i cut contact. Im working on myself. He cried at the breakup and said he maybe will regret this. He didnt contact me until we met accidently at a coffeeshop a week later- he asked me to sit with him but i left. He later texted me that he hopes that one day we could sit and eat together naturally. More like a friends i guess (im not intrested in friendship). I didnt answer and didnt contact him at all. He didnt contacted me since than and my stuff is at his place. We get back to university in a week and we live across the street from each other (we actually planned this on purpose).

    Reply
  48. Mia
    Mia says:

    Hi Brad! My ex isn’t a big communicator and is fairly new to relationships. He could easily go two weeks without initiating contact with someone. After our ‘talking all the time’ honeymoon period fizzled out I ended up starting an argument about needing more contact in the very beginning of our relationship. Fast forward – I completed 2.5 months of no contact to seem less needy. I was the one to initiate the breakup. Does your 1 week recommendation between initiating texts apply to this type of situation or should it be longer? He seemed really happy and eager replying to my first post-nc text.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Mia. You can cut set the interval to just three days especially if you can see he’s slowly warming up to you. What’s equally important is you being mindful of the things I talked about here: What to Talk About With Your Ex. Anyway if you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  49. jas
    jas says:

    Hey I used the no contact rule on my ex gf for about 20 days and my ex texted me and we had a short and friendly conversation over a few texts. i followed the advice given in your Ex Factor Guide and it seemed to worked, i replied to her text after 2-3 hours and during that period she asked one of our mutual friend why isn’t he replying to my text. It clearly showed that she cares about me but hides it from me. She completely ignored me after the breakup but after the text conversation we have been passing smiles to each other. So can you advice me on how do i take this forward with someone who is playing hard to get. Should i wait for the 30 days to complete before sending the good reminder text or start interacting with her again as she contacted me after 20 days of no contact?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Follow the guide down to a tee. You’re now in the second phase and going to the third. Use all the tips written on there, especially the “attractive qualities” listed in one whole chapter. Use this as reference, too: Is Your Ex Is Too Stubborn to Admit They Want You Back? All right? If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  50. lydia
    lydia says:

    Won’t the flirt aspect make him love you for the wrong reasons ( sex only ) ?
    Somehow im a muslimah(i became it after seeing the dangers of it) so i believe relationships on its own is very haram (endless datings etc)
    All these drama’s can be avoid and warned us woman not to be needy etc (i didnt listen well to all this rules)

    He broke up with me because it was toooo hard for him blabla, really ? now that he has graduate finally ? and now is going to university?

    i feel used, and loved for wrong reasons.
    i also feel he is looking if he could eventually get/ find /deserved someone better than be, and me leaning to be there during his hard times and needs.

    He was totally in love with me, he even cried for me sometimes and got emotional(angry etc) but it all has changed and he walked with me until he graduated !

    A real man marries and is able to deal with your shortcommings and changes, understands ur behavior.
    At the same time, the man i love doesnt

    we should do our best and avoid the negative, but we are human, so its impossible to be perfect all the time in this complicated life. People who are there in your good times and leave in your bad,aren’t your partners or lovers. This isnt love and the mentality is sick.

    Everything can be solved,and talked about, if you only want it so much and feel ur responsibility

    mine had too much ride,ego, and love status…….it hurts. It also feel like he feels too high for me and needs a superwoman because he is the man

    on the other side…. he has sensitive sides, i saw them a lot. Unspoken pain and insecurities maybe

    Reply
  51. Krystal
    Krystal says:

    Hi Brad, first of all, thank you for being there for us. I am thinking of buying your ex factor guide. But just want to make sure your guide will work for me. Let me tell you my story briefly. My ex bf is 40 and i’m 27. We are in long distance. We have been together for over a year. Was really great and had plans for future togther. We broke up a month ago. No cheating or big jealousy. Just coz of a few small arguments. He ignored me which turned me into a big text terrorist where he broke up with me. He has good self-control, introvert, well experienced in relationships, super stubborn and arrogant. So, because of his nature, the age gap, and the distance, I am a bit concern. You think your guide will cover my situation? And I am really not sure should i apply NC. He will miss me but he won’t show a thing, he will just put up with that and move on. Should I do NC?
    PS. He is still into me sexually, coz he told me. Not sure should I be proud for that or sad. :((

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey, Krystal, you’re welcome. How often did you two get to see each other during the relationship? Spending time together offline as well as online is important in most long distance relationships. In your case, yes, definitely employ the 30-day “no contact” rule. Don’t be too quick to sleep with him if you do get to meet soon, if you’re looking to develop something more serious with him. This vid is for you, too: How to Deal With a Stubborn Ex. Lastly, I suggest you stay busy by reading my Ex Factor Guide, which covers every possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Good luck!

      Reply
      • Krystal
        Krystal says:

        Thanks for your advice, Brad. We were living together for initial 5 months of relationship then I had to move to different state due to work. Then we managed to see each other every 4-6 weeks until 4 months ago, before we had that down time and broke up. And also I am going to move back somewhere closer to him, like just a couple of hours drive, next month. So, no more long distance in the future.
        Yes, I will read your ex factor guide coz I know I need help from people like you. I need to be in peace of mind, be in charge of my emotions and be in control of this situation, for my own sake, even if I don’t win him back. Coz in the end, if it’s meant to be, it will be.
        Hope you too all the best… I can see you work with your heart and soul.
        Many thanks!

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          You’re welcome, Krystal. Yes, I’m glad you’ve seen the point of the importance of being in control of your emotions and the situation in general, instead of letting emotions overrule everything. The guide also helps you avoid doing any further damage to the situation by keeping in mind all the obvious but often overlooked mistakes people make. Anyway that’s an admirable feat you have to try and stay strong and be level headed, so keep up the good work! All the best!

          Reply
  52. Felix
    Felix says:

    Hey Brad,

    I just bought the ex-factor, but I’d like to hear your honest opinion on this. I’m a 22 yo male, my ex will turn 22 in november.
    About 2 months ago we had a struggle, because she was really stressed and I thought she doesnt love me anymore. So we decided to give it time.
    In the next month she did not really do much, which got me going crazy. I begged and pleaded and now I know that it was wrong.
    I even got angry sometimes and started fights, said she was immature for not solving problems and such things..
    I know that this is probably the real reason why she left me.
    She said that it is because she has no time for a relationship or even herself (she has 2 jobs right now) – so she really has not much time.
    To our relationship – she always said that im the best partner she ever had and that im too good for her. She was really really happy with me.
    And besides of her parents and me no one knows about one big secret of her, which I don’t want to tell, not even her sister, her best friends or her exes! So she really had trust in me…

    After the fighting and begging/ pleading I accepted the breakup for circa two weeks, but tuesday i met her at the birthday party of her best friend.
    I got drunk and in my drunk state i confronted her and begged and pleaded again because i couldnt control my feelings. She even said that I should have
    waited for her to make a move.

    Now we’re not having any contact, but she still has things of her in my flat, which she has to get soon.
    Under these things there is a letter which she wrote to me for x-mas saying why she loves me and such things.

    I thought that I just show my positive side when she gets her stuff and be funny and kind to her, not talking about serious things, and then
    doing the no contact method again.

    Do you think that is the right way to do? Do you have any advices?

    I’d be so thankful if you’d answer this!

    Hope you will answer this.

    p.s.: You’re a great person, keep doing what you do man!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation as well. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  53. Martina
    Martina says:

    Hi Brad!
    My boyfriend dumped me about a week ago and I started the NC a few days after that. I think it’s going pretty well, as I am not tempted to text him because I know I will screw everything up that way. The first few days involved a lot of tears and a lot of frustration, but right now I feel a little better, mostly because I gave myself hope and am very determined to get him back one day, while in the mean time I am going to work on myself. I am very shy, very insecure and overall not a very “happy” person, so I’ve got plenty to work on ^^
    But I have a little question about the meeting up part, especially the flirting part. Won’t the flirting scare him off a bit? I am just so scared that letting him know I am (still) interested will only drive him away from me. When breaking up with me, he explicitly told me he did want to see me again, but ONLY if I had processed the whole break up aka moved on.
    Isn’t it better to first show him how awesome I have become (well, I hope to become awesome at least) and then start the flirting?
    Because the last thing I want is to scare him away and I’m afraid that showing romantic interest will do just that…
    Hope you can help me and maybe even convince me that flirting during the first meet up is in fact essential 😉
    Hope to hear from you soon!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Martina. Sorry to hear about the breakup, but I’m glad to know you’re coping pretty well as well as realizing a few things about yourself — that’s a start! Anyway no, you’re not supposed to let him know you’re interested in him at all. Test the waters first. And yes, you’re supposed to take time to work on yourself, this is why getting an ex back is a “process” and the second phase is rebuilding the communication…flirting comes much later on. I suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good timing is essential! Check it out at http://www.breakupbrad.com

      Reply
  54. Sarah
    Sarah says:

    Hey Brad
    About a month ago, my ex of 2 years broke up with me. She had said, at the time, that the reason was because she didn’t feel happy in the relationship due to me not telling her the truth about a certain event that took place a few days before, and that i should have told her i was uncomfortable with it, even if i was afraid it’d hurt her. By the second week of the break up, we started talking again, (she asked to be friends cuz she still wanted me in her life and i said yes)but i was a absolute mess and was crying and asking again and again if we could try again, but she was sure that we were “too different” and that she had already moved on and had started dating someone else.
    i started no contact by the third week of the break up, but 8 days after that, i had given in and talked to her (stupid decision i know)
    she was happy to talk again and we had a good chat about how are lives were and such, but she also said that she realized the break up was a mistake.
    yet she still wants to move on!
    I’m starting no contact again, (for 30 days this time) but I’m so confused. It seems like there’s a chance yet other days, it feels like she’s gone for good. Is there still a good chance? we literally never had any fights til the last few days in our relationship, and I’m afraid I’ll never gain her trust again ; ^ ;
    P.S., she seems to be in a rebound relationship, but they aren’t “official” yet due to the other girl not feeling ready for a committed relationship yet, but my ex still would wait forever for her…

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Sarah, sorry to hear about the breakup. Just so you know, the absence of fighting doesn’t indicate that everything is all good and sunny. A situation with an ex is also fragile, so you ought to be doing the right things as much as possible, specifically the “no contact” rule. You see, mixed emotions from an ex to the point where you get confused as well is very common when a breakup is still fresh and this is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with this ex. You both need to clear your minds first, all right? A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I’ve discussed here, watch it to learn a few tips to understand your situation better: Why Your Ex Gives You The ‘Hot & Cold’ Treatment (Mixed Messages Explained!). Good luck!

      Reply
  55. David Vega
    David Vega says:

    Hey brad!
    Me and my ex girlfriend of 2.5 years broke up about a month ago. The first 2 weeks were very hard and there were a few days spent speaking to her trying to understand what went wrong and trying to reconcile our relationship. Her reasoning behind the break up was that she did not feel the same way anymore and she just wanted to focus on herself and not be in a relationship right now. She told me about what things made her lose feelings and bothered her about our relationship but she didn’t want to try to work on things together although everything she said could’ve been easily worked on and fixed. Today would have been day 14 of no contact however her grandmother passed away on Sunday that she was very close to so I sent her a short text message saying I’m sorry for her loss and I hope she is doing okay. Does sending this text break the no contact and would I have to start over from day 1 or should I keep going from day 14?

    Reply
  56. Rebecca
    Rebecca says:

    Hi Brad!
    my ex broke up with me almost 3 months ago. I did no contact for 40 days, and i iniatied contact. He answered really fast, told me he wanted to know how everything was going in my life too. We talk a long time that day. Then he initiated contact some days later. For almost a month, it was almost 50/50 every 4-7 days, he told me a lot of things about his life, giving me heads up on job internship, was really interested in mine; he even ask me about some inside we had (have you been there since then? have you tried that, next time you should totally do that, i hope it’s still your favorite team (because we went see them together). Well may be it was all in my head but all his smiley and our conversation late at night sometimes, i asked him for a meet up and he said : yes sure:) ask him to contact me when he would want to and we went 2 days later. It went really well. Only talking about our lives, laughing. we kept it short and it was nice he told me “see you again soon” at the end. But after that, he only sent me a snapchat 2 days later and when i asked him about something, he was really distant. i waited for him to text me back and he did, 6 days later, sending me a picture of him playing sport with his friends. It felt a little too personal, since we sent those kind of things to each other when we were together…
    May be i shouldn’t have, but i told him that it made me “a little something” that we talked like that and see each other. He told me that he wasn’t missing me, that there’s was nothing between us now and that he was fine with it, that seeing me face to face didn’t bothered him like a feeling of regret. That he didn’t see our meet up “that way” neither when he said “see you again soon”… that all our conversation were only normal conversations, that he didn’t told me he missed me or that he wanted to see me…
    But why does he act like that then? If he doesn’t miss me, then why bothered to reach out to me that often…
    I told him i couldn’t be his friend and answered : i understand that.
    Should i stop contacting him? Move on? Talk to him like this conversation never happen? He probably won’t talk to me again after that, so i don’t know what to do…

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      He may still be confused about his feelings. Don’t try to analyze what he’s going through, but focus on what you’re processing all this and play your cards right as well and set a conducive environment for him to come back, okay? Here’s what to look for to give you something solid: Signs Your Ex Wants You Back. All right? Good luck!

      Reply
  57. Girl
    Girl says:

    Hi Brad, I was dumped around 3 weeks ago. We didn’t have a serious problem to cause the breakup. We started fighting for few things and he sort of neglected me after that for a few weeks then I freaked out and sent series of text and begging and pleading. Then he was annoyed for all that texts and calls and told me it is over between us. I am 28 and he is 40, he is very stubborn, big ego and does not like to be pushed at all. We were together for over a year, we were really great together and he told me once that I am the one for him. We were in long distance after 5 months of being together. We were flying every 5 weeks to see each other.
    Anyway, no contact for over two weeks and I initiated the text and he replied. Following days, we were chatting/flirting via text and he said he agrees to meet me just for sex, only if I have no other expectation. He told “I don’t want anything more at this stage”. Seems like he will even agree to spend hundred of dollars for flight ticket just to sleep with me. (we live in different states) I was so shocked and hurt. I did not expect that is coming. I know he is still sexually attracted to me but what I want is strong emotional bond with him. I miss him so much as well. Part of me thinks that some of the tensions we are having now is because of long distance thing, if we meet each other, we will know how we feel and at least being together will ease the pain away. I don’t really care about sex, but seems like he just want to be friends with benefits kind of relationship with me and no love or feelings for me at all. What do you think i should do? I want him back. Do you see any chances?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey there, sorry to hear that. At this point, it’s really important to employ the 30-day “no contact” rule. Two weeks isn’t enough time for him to miss you. As a man, he misses your body, but probably not the emotional closeness you had while in a relationship as this takes time, so follow the 30-day rule first, okay? After this period, if he’s still pursuing you for sex, watch and follow the tips here: What to Do If Your Ex Wants Sex (If You Want Your Ex Back). Good luck!

      Reply
  58. Tee
    Tee says:

    Hi Brad, Its been a month since my ex broke up with me, I initiated “no contact” immediately the next day for 21 days. She’s a coworker, but I managed to only say hi if she spoke first and only when necessary for the job. She texted me once during that period. I didn’t respond. Fast forward to the present, I started texting her last week, she called me a few days ago. Our communication has been positive so far with no mention of the past relationship. I texted her yesterday and asked her to meet me for coffee tomorrow after she gets off work. First she replied “Let me think about it” then I replied an hour later with “Its just coffee, it’ll be a quick meet, short and sweet” so then she said “LOL OK”. I’ve been jotting down notes of what to talk about when I meet her (I’m so nervous) but I’m worried about what if she brings up the old relationship? What do I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Good to know you’ve gotten a go signal to meet up, man! Just generally avoid bringing up topics about your relationship or anything about drama or stuff that might trigger it. If she brings it up herself, then you can either divert the topic, or talk about it in a nonchalant way (remember, you’ve accepted the breakup) and then change the topic before it gets too serious. All right? Don’t mess it up, man. Watch this to help guide you: How to Act Around Your Ex and if you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. All the best!

      Reply
  59. Megan
    Megan says:

    Hello my name is Megan,It’s been 2 months since me and my ex broke up properly and I’m worried at the fact he says he don’t want me and that he don’t want a relationship with me. We’ve been together for 8 months and we have sex and done what a normal couple would do, but however I haven’t been doing everything like every other couples would do. I have always breaking on and off with him and now I’ve listened him and he won’t talk to me. Everyone is telling me to move on but I don’t want to because something inside is telling me that maybe he’s the one. I still like and love him and keep thinking about all the good times. He says he don’t want me and that he isn’t sure and I don’t know what to do to get him back.

    Reply
  60. Jacky
    Jacky says:

    Hi Brad,
    I really need your help!

    So long story short, my gf of 2.5 years broke up with me early this month(20+ days ago). At first she said its because of my short temper/anger issues and that she cant stand it no more. And after the break up and after 1 day of me texting her and sending her email about how i would change and get me a second chance, ect. I read online that i should do the NoContact.
    And I did. But 2 days after NC, she messaged me and we have to talk because of a emergency. But I stay on topic and never mention anything about my relationship. About a week or more after that, she message me again to wish me Happy Birthday and we talk a little, but she was cold the whole time(and i ended the short conversations)
    So we didnt talk after that until ore than a week later I send her a short message about: How i was being needy and not man enough…How I took her for granted and that I have accepted the break up and that I am really sorry.. I keep it as short and possible and let her know that i really know my mistake and that I am sorry. She reply the next day that she accepted my apology and that she think its great that im fixing my anger issue and be a better person. She also said she know what her flaws are and she will work on them too. But she said in the end we are “too different” and hope we can stay friends. I would be lying if I say i wasnt heartbroken again when i read this, but I reply later that day that I know how shes feeling and that i agreed we both need to grow to be a better person, and that we’ll see where the future will takes us. (because i dont really know whter i should accept her “friendship”
    So its been 5 days since that last message. she didnt reply to me after that.

    What should i do now? Please help!! Thank you!

    PS: I have been going to gym, taking anger management class, doing yoga, doing my hobby (basically keeping myself busy and improving myself, so i can be prepare when she see me in person…..but i cant help but still feeling lost )

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Jacky. Belated happy birthday, man! Sorry to hear about the breakup though. At this point …and I really hate to say this, you may not have much choice. So yes, cut off contact for around a month. Okay? Besides, what do you plan to do if you don’t cut off contact? Text your ex every now and then? That would only make you appear desperate and that’s never attractive and keep in mind, your goal is to rebuild attraction, right? Focus on the attractive characteristics mentioned in my Ex Factor Guide to keep you on track and stay on it. It would then be your choice to wander off this path, but at least you’ll have something to help guide you through the process, it’s your best bet. Good luck!

      Reply
  61. TAY
    TAY says:

    Hi Brad,

    I met my ex-boyfriend through a mutual friend (she set us up) and we dated for 4 months. I initiated the break-up and it’s been about 2 months since our break-up. Since the breakup, I have been in the isolation period and focusing on myself by exercising more and studying for graduate school.

    Through the same mutual friend that set us up, I found out that my ex-boyfriend found a new girlfriend 3 weeks after we broke up. The new girlfriend lives in Japan (long distance relationship) and is also a friend of the mutual friend that set us up. His new girlfriend was in town for 1 week and he asked her out during the 1 week she was in town. So far, they have been long distance for 1 month.

    Does it sound like a rebound relationship? Should I continue with the isolation period?

    Reply
  62. tyler
    tyler says:

    hi brad. me and my ex have been going out for a little over a year. overtime, she knew me and i knew her inside and out. the sex was amazing and she had told me that i was her best. she has only had one boyfriend before me. so as of recently, she has tried to dump me over the past 2 weeks and i keep fighting her on it. she tells me that i dont give her her space when she needs it, that im too clingy, that im irresponsible, and that im not as mature as she is. keep in mind she is two years younger than me. i know she wouldnt go and see someone else behind my back or talk to other guys. she isnt that type of girl at all. all shes been doing is hanging out with her best friend, which is a girl. i havent seen her for over a week and she doesnt want to see me in person to offically end us. is she scared to lose me? is she afraid that she will get the feelings she used to get if she saw me again? i dont know brad and i need your advice because she one day tells me to end it, then the next night she tells me that she loves me and then the next week after that, she just calls me mean names and basically shows that she doesnt want me. but then shes too afraid to end the relationship? she doesnt want to see me in person to end things officially? please help brad. thank you
    p.s. im sorry its so long, please excuse its legnth i tried to make it as brief as i can

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      She may be coping with the breakup in her own way, thus her refusal to see you. I suggest to employ the 30-day “no contact” rule and give her the chance to miss you, okay? You don’t wanna be talking to her these days anyway because she’s still confused, which is a pretty common theme after a breakup. You see, mixed emotions from an ex ( to the point of almost being bipolar) is very common when a breakup is still fresh and this is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with this ex. A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I’ve discussed here, watch it to learn a few tips to understand your situation better: Why Your Ex Gives You The ‘Hot & Cold’ Treatment (Mixed Messages Explained!). Take care!

      Reply
  63. Steph
    Steph says:

    Hi Brad,

    thank you for your video’s. We had a relation for 6 years, from which we lived 4 together. The last months we both were not happy anymore, we had always the same fight (about his mother not, she didn’t like me, and him working so much (13 hours a day)). 12 days ago I decided to leave. I took some time for myself and felt very releaved and stressless. After 2 days, I started to see things very clear. I’ve been so frustrated, that I wasn’t acting like myself anymore. I’m usually happy, but the last time I was only angry. I just didn’t see him anymore, the only thing I felt was lonelyness. I was always alone, and I had the feeling that he just wanted to work. I think I was just blinded by lonelyness and anger. And I regret it so much.

    I’m still sure that leaving was the best thing to do. We both needed some time alone. But, now I want him back. He texted me everyday already, and yesterday we met for the first time. He said he needs some time, to figure it all out. He has never been alone in his life, and he needs to learn that as well. He feels horrible and misses me. We also kissed and there we a lot of hugs. It was just like before, the old us. How it was before it went bad. He is not ready to break it off permanently, neither say ‘OK let’s go for it’.

    What should I do? Start the no contact rule?
    Please help me, I don’t want to lose the love of my life, losing or not fighting seems like a big mistake. I just don’t know how I should do it. How do I convince him to take a fresh start?

    Thank your for your help!
    Steph

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey, Steph. You’re welcome! Sorry to hear about the breakup, though. Yes, the best route to take here would be to employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, for quite obvious reasons I don’t think I need to enumerate. 🙂 Look at the situation as you both NEEDING the time to clear your heads first and be less emotional. Emotions always fuel fights. Read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. Good luck!

      Reply
  64. Fernando Bocchi
    Fernando Bocchi says:

    Brad, this might be a little long but I’ll try to make it brief.
    Me and my ex we know each other since childhood.
    She dated a guy for 3 years, then she started hitting on me and a week after he broke up, on the same week we started to see each other, and after 2 months she became my girlfriend, we spent 6 months together, and she broke up because i got too controlling, needy, started to complain a lot about her, and she sad that sex was wonderful, and many times sad that i was the person that she more loved in her life.
    Then after 2-3 weeks, I discovered she got back with her ex from the 3 years, and already sad to friends of mine that loves him and want to marry him.
    What should I do?
    Was I a Rebound?
    Or is he a Rebound?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Fernando, sorry to hear that.I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re the rebound guy in this case, man. The fact that she suddenly hit on you when their relationship went rocky and eventually broke up was a huge red flag! People need time to heal, so if something similar happens in the future, make sure you let the girl take her time to heal first and process her emotions and the breakup, okay? Consider moving on from this or at the very least, let her come to you first. Don’t agree to be friends though if you don’t wanna get strung along. Good luck and I hope you find the right girl for you soon!

      Reply
  65. alex
    alex says:

    Hi brad i broke up with my girlfriend for one week and i was dumped she had that decision by her self even i didn’t do enything bad but after two i found out that she is with dating someone new and i think that she was cheating on me , that’s hurt me a lot , and then she talked to me she looked that she was fine with this break up but i was upset i couldn’t bear this feeling i told her goodbye and i just wanted to ignore her but she didn’t want that i think want to stay friends but i rejected it and i just moved on but im still thinking about her and i really want to get her back i want her to love me again

    Reply
  66. Jackson
    Jackson says:

    Hi Brad,

    How long should I do the NC for if we have only been together for a couple of months (known each other for four months before breaking up) and it was actually my fault why we broke up? It was due to my lack of showing prudence. She felt like I didn’t care about the relationship that much and I can see now, based from her social media posts, that she feels insecure of my last relationship which lasted for four years.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Jackson, sorry to hear about the breakup. How was it your fault though? A breakup is almost always caused by both people in the relationship. Why is she feeling insecure in your past? Were you doing anything to make her feel insecure, like contacting or still keeping in touch with your ex? Whatever the case may be, be sure to give it enough time to give yourselves enough time to clear your minds, okay? Never rush it. Read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. Good luck!

      Reply
  67. Santiago
    Santiago says:

    HI Brad
    I tried the no contact for 2 weeks and then she show me she was pissed about it posting pictures with her new man ( this was after we had a talk about what happened and she told me to be friends) after that i told her to cut the games ( are you in or are you out ) and i told her this was the moment to say it.
    She obviously didn’t reply but in her way she let me know she was sad. All this was after a 2/3 weeks of her sending me mixed signals.

    Reply
  68. Lina
    Lina says:

    hi brad , me and my boyfriend broke up about a month ago , and we were together for about 2 monthes although we knew each other for years , and some problems happened between us and i thought he was cheating on me until i found out i was wrong and when i told him about it he said he did that on purpose to make me break up with him and then he broke up with me for no reason , and sense we break up i always go to the places he goes to and start looking for him and pretending that i am meeting a friend and when he sees me he always come and talk to me but the last time i went i ignored him and when he was coming to talk to me i went away although i went their just so i can see him , and now he have a new girlfriend and he looks like he love her but my friends always tell me that he is trying to make me jealous , and about two weeks after the break up he wanted to go back with me and i told him no because i was too afraid that he will break up with me again if we got back together ! so what should i do now

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Lina. If he’s manipulating stuff to make it appear like he cheated so you’d break up with him, then that just speaks his level of maturity… which is an all time low. If there are problems in the relationship, he should learn to communicate, okay? This fact alone is recipe for disaster. He may be rebounding, but he ought to realize some stuff, too, otherwise, this may have a tone of on-again, off-again dynamic if you were to get back together. Watch this, too: If Your Ex the Right Person for You? (5 Ways to Know for Sure). Good luck!

      Reply
  69. Maria Ocampo
    Maria Ocampo says:

    Hi Brad, two weeks ago my ex and I broken up. Before his graduation, he was busy the entire time. We only see each other once a week and barely have time to text me daily. Sometimes once or never. He broke up with me because he didn’t want me to hurt and keep me waiting all day for his text once he gets home. He planned on moving out and maybe working two jobs. He reasoned that the major he studied may be too stressful and won’t have time for me. We’ve been together for 7 years. We love each other and wanted to be together. But he said he needed to achieve his goal and not sure if he will come back depending if he will fail or not. Last time we spent time, I told him I hope we were still together when we were having fun and told me someday we will be together. Also, he told me I will always be in his heart. Now, he is beginning to become a manager but not in a quite high position manager and barely text me. Sometimes he doesn’t text all day. We’ve seen each other few times and when we meet up, he still hug, hold my hand, and kiss me on lips, cheecks, and my hand. We still do the same when we were still together.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Maria, sorry to hear about the breakup. Waiting for his text all day is a big no-no though… and this applies for both if you’re still in a relationship or not. Doing so is just needy behaviour on your part and it will indeed put a pressure on him especially since he’s looking to get busy with his work. The solution to this is to make sure that you have your own life going as well, okay? Don’t put all your focus too much in this relationship. I don’t recommend meeting up as well since you’ve already broken up. Focus on the first phase and cut off contact, okay? It’s very important that you do so first. Good luck!

      Reply
  70. Toni Djakic
    Toni Djakic says:

    Hey Brad, I also need help!
    My girlfriend cheat his ex with me, she was with him 5 years and he give her only sex… sex without feelings. And there I jump in… We was together for the last 5 months and it was so passionate, everything was happened so quickly and i was fall in love in her. She told me that she love me, she give me all emotions that prove that – that she love me, but one day she start to be cold on me… She sisnt want to meet with me, she didnt want to tell me why…. After 100 of my messages she tell me that she dont know what she wants and that it was a nice time…. So i dont know what happened, did she cheat on me, did she find someone else and left me…. I dont know Brad, i just want her back… I was never feel like this because of someone… I love her

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Toni, sorry to hear you’re going through this. Are you saying you got together with her while another guy was still in the picture? If a girl is still actively dealing with an ex or soon to be ex, it usually gives out more complication than if choose someone who’s single. Her confusion shows through both her words and actions, so I suggest you leave her be and not contact her for a good while, okay? Stop sending her messages or reaching out to her since that will only drive her away further. Let her miss you instead. Read the article again and follow the steps, okay? You’re still in the “no contact” phase. I also suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. Good luck!

      Reply
  71. Angela
    Angela says:

    Hey Brad, I need some help. My ex boyfriend has broken up with me last week on his birthday. A couple hours after our break up, I called him and asked why he did it? To which he claims that it wasn’t going to work out and that I wasn’t the one. However, he told me that he has been crying during the time between our relationship and our phone call and said he needed a break and that maybe after our break that we can try again if we still have feelings for each other. The next day though, I made a critical mistake and seemed very needy and a bit controlling when I was talking to him in between classes. I have not contacted him since then with the exception of yesterday when I asked him if we wanted to go to my birthday gathering at a restaurant, to which he said he will think about it and then glanced at me a couple times when I went to go see my friends after and smiled and blushed a little bit. My friend messaged him the details of my birthday party but he said he will probably not attend because we just broke up and also asked how I was doing.
    The reason why he broke up with me is because of some of his friends not liking me (btw the day before he broke up with me, he said “I don’t know why my friends don’t like you; you’re so likeable.” and that he is confused if he is bisexual or straight, and is considering to ‘experiment’ with other guys.
    He still has feelings for me though.
    I believe we could last very long together and we have many things in common with each other too, what should I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Angela, sorry to hear about the breakup… and advanced happy birthday, btw! It seems like your ex is one confused guy, not only with his feelings (otherwise, he wouldn’t have broken up with you) as well as his sexual orientation. So give this poor guy some time to figure this out on his own (which may take months or years, so don’t wait), without your interference, okay? Let him miss you so he won’t take you for granted. Watch this to help you further: How to Make Your Ex Miss You. Take care!

      Reply
  72. Jess
    Jess says:

    I need some help. I was in a relationship for quite along time almost 7 years, he cheated with a girl almost 11 years younger than him I took him back because I love him so much. He promised me the world never to leave me never to let me go to make me happy and to make it up to me everyday. 7 weeks later he has broke up with me after a few arguments .. he told me he can’t do it that I’ve ruined everything I deserve it all I’ve treated him bad he gave up his job overseas but he only gave it a week afrer he quit. he has left me in bits and is 1 week later out with other girls please help I don’t know what to do he is telling me he will never ever get back its over and he will never give it a go I have begged and I don’t know why I don’t no why he has done this to me I feel so lifeless… please help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Jess, sorry to hear about this seemingly seven-year itch. Majority would decide to just move on for good and start afresh with someone else, but a few would still fight for the relationship, so this all depends which side you’re in and what your views are. There is no right or wrong answer here because it is your relationship and it’s personal to you. Make sense? Anyway men and women cheat for different reasons, but if you think she’s worth it and if there’s been a genuine connection between you two before the cheating happened, then try to see the roles that you BOTH played that led to all this mess and see once and for all if it can be resolved or not, okay? Really take your time before deciding though and be sure not to make any hasty decisions from an emotional place. Good luck!

      Reply
  73. Felix john
    Felix john says:

    Hai. We break the Ex 1-2 weeks I was 10th months on May 9 he told me to break as we were for our future, but I know that the only reason, but he did not tell me she was away today and angry when he or text chat with him so what do I need to back me ?

    Reply
  74. Gustavo Soriano
    Gustavo Soriano says:

    Hi brad well me and my ex barely broke up a week ago and were in the relationship for 2 years and she just told me she didn’t feel the same way anymore ,but that she still loves me but then a day after she got mad for me talking to other girls after she told me she didn’t want to be with me and she also told me I should move on and she said their is no way we’re getting back together and she blocked me from every social media and I’ve texted her but doesn’t reply to me what should I do at this point?

    Reply
  75. Roshnee
    Roshnee says:

    Well, me and my boyfriend, we broke up in Jan 2014 after around 2 months of dating. Actually he broke up with me because he could not give his studies enough time as well as me. I cried a lot, told him that i would give him space and would not interfere during his study time, but he said that it’ll be unfair as he would not be able to give me time as well. He told me that his exams for 2014 was important as this would decide his future as well as university. After thinking a lot about it, i decided to let him go. At first i was feeling the urge to text him every time, and the more i texted him. i could feel him going away from me. Then i decided to stop contacting him, and unknowingly i was doing the ‘ No Contact ‘ rule. I invested my time in exercise, meeting friends and all. After one month, he contacted me, asked how i was doing ect , and this way he would talk to me every 2 or 3 weeks. Around May, he texted me around midnight. He sent me a picture of a girl and boy cuddling, and asked me if i’m remembering something. I said Yes and the conversation went on. He said that he was drunk and wanted to talk to me. That night, he told me, ” I love you. ” and i told him that even i still love him. He told me he would try to take time out of his busy schedule, and talk to me the next day. But that didn’t happen. After a week, he asked me, if i can meet him, and i said yeah, and went to meet him. That day, we kissed too. On my Birthday, he told me that when his exams would be over, we would get back together, and try to work out this relationship from zero. I was really happy.
    When he was in holidays, i called him and reminded him of what he has said on my birthday. Shockingly, he told me that he can’t get back with me, because he loves that way his life is right now, that is the single life. I cried a lot that day, begged him to be back with me. But he told me, he cant. I thought everything was over, and tried to overcome this breakup.
    However, He would come to me everytime he was on his low, and when he needed someone to shower him with love and care. I had hopes that maybe we’ll get back together soon, but that didn’t happen.
    One day he messaged me and told me that he has someone in his life and is going to ask her out. I was in a really bad shape that day, but didn’t let him know about it. After nearly one and a half month, he contacted me again, asked me about how things were going on, like everything was normal. I acted like normal me too. He again asked me to meet him, and this time things had gone a bit too much. Not only did we kissed, but we also got intimate ( but not having sex).
    Five months later, my friend told me that he was dating a girl, but couldn’t stick to her for even one month, and after that he went abroad for his higher studies. After one and half month, he sent me a text via Facebook and wished me luck for my exams ( i was going through my final year exams). I thanked him, and our conversation continued. He was the first person to wish me on New Year, and even counted down on New Year’s Eve with me ( even though he was in another country and was merely texting me)
    After that things went well between us, and i asked him if he has a girlfriend or not. He told me he doesn’t have.
    We talked almost twice or thrice a week and that meant a lot to me. I thought that finally things were getting better and i asked him what he thought about us. He told me, we can’t get back together. And when i asked him why, he told me that what he feels for me is attraction, according to him and that he doesn’t believe in love. I didn’t argued with him any further and ended this conversation right away.
    Few days ago, he told me that he feels something for a girl, but they aren’t a couple. And i’m literally freaking out! I couldn’t sleep that day, but didn’t let him know how i felt.
    Just a few days back, he came again to talk to me. He didn’t even stick with that girl for even one month! He hasn’t dated anyone properly like longtime or what since we broke up.
    But he said we can’t get back together, and he hasn’t even given me a reason for that.
    Everytime he comes back to me, and make me feel like i’m the best thing that has ever happen to him.
    I still love him, a lot! But I can’t find a way to get him back! I didn’t date anyone after we broke up
    Is it possible to get him back after all that happened? I really want him in my life and would do anything to have him back. Please help. I don’t know what to do!
    Can you please advice me what to do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Roshnee, I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  76. martha
    martha says:

    BF Broke up with me 3 weeks ago. Entirely my fault, I came out of a recent divorce, I was negative and pushed him away. He said he was in love with me never told anyone else but his ex wife, I met his kids, he never introduced anyone else to them. He tried to work with me on my insecurities and I really did not realize that I was stressing him out. He said I was stressing him to the point of him being physically ill and that I didn’t care (which I did but didn’t realize it). he kept communication with me in the beginning and has now cut it off. I texted a few times and we had light conversation when he called but he has since stopped. I texted him this week and we texted for an hour but he still has not reached out in any way other than liking things on facebook. I want to fix this because it is my fault and I did not realize what I was doing. He did nothing wrong. When I apologized and asked if he would try he said he couldn’t.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Martha, sorry to hear about the breakup. You really ought to give each other time and space, first, okay? Especially with how things are going now. To put it bluntly, if you’re stressing him out, then the last thing he wants is to be reminded of this source of stress…so give him his space and let him miss you instead for the time being, all right? Understand that you aren’t going to be cutting off contact forever, but just give him enough space for around a month or so where there’s COMPLETELY no communication between you two, all right? Take the time to read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. Take care!

      Reply
      • martha
        martha says:

        I started no contact on Monday and have disappeared from facebook as well because that is where he would “like” all of my pics/posts. I felt that he was still able to have contact with me through FB. He did call me last week and conversation was great, I guess a moment of weakness and wished me happy mother’s day on Sunday through text but when he reaches out he puts a wall up and ends it again… he seems to send mixed messages. or at least to me he does. I guess my question is why is he randomly contacting me if he said he “needed time” and did not want to lead me on? I am sticking with the no contact. Stupid me did all of the wrong things when we first broke up.

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          Good on you for staying strong and sticking to the “no contact” rule, Martha. Keep it up until you at least reach the 30-day mark, all right? Your ex’s behaviour doesn’t come as a surprise to me. In fact, mixed emotions from an ex ( to the point of almost being bipolar) is very common when a breakup is still fresh and this is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with an ex. A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I’ve discussed here, watch it to learn a few tips to understand your situation better: Why Your Ex Gives You The ‘Hot & Cold’ Treatment (Mixed Messages Explained!). Take care!

          Reply
  77. Lianna
    Lianna says:

    Hi Brad. My boyfriend broke up with me 18 days now. He said he didn’t feel close to me anymore. He also said we need to change. I don’t really what makes he feel that. But I am sure he might want to find some excitement and I couldn’t give him that. Last Wednesday I messaged him” I know you might say no, but this point I really wanna see you.” Then he said what for, we won’t meet in day or can’t have sex. After that I said yes maybe not a good idea, then he said ” but I miss those things”, anyway in the end I went to his place and we watched movie, drama, talked as like before. Before I saw him, I cut my hair, I have lot plan for my after. So when I saw him, he felt me I am bit different. And that night was so amazing for both us. However, I left in the morning when he was taking shower. I don’t know why I did this, I am bit regret it. I thought I was trying to be cool but I am sure that was not a good way. After I left he texted me and answered me” you left?” I said yes then he was bit angry and said ” I didn’t know you are going to leave when I am taking shower.” And I said” it is better I left before you” I don’t know why I did that. After that I apologised it was bit rude to leave without goodbye. After that he didn’t reply me anymore and I didn’t contact him since now. We have been together nearly 2 years. I really love him.but it seems I couldn’t do much. I just don’t know what to do. Thanks

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup, Lianna. At this point, it’s really too soon to be talking again, much less see each other. You ought to give it enough time and space to avoid disasters like the one you’ve just described, okay? I don’t blame you for it since being emotional after a breakup and you leaving in haste are really effects of these trying times, but this is why you ought to make it a point to restart the “no contact” rule and wait at least a month before talking to him again, okay? Watch this: How to Make Your Ex Miss You and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total),including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential.Good luck!

      Reply
  78. Rachel
    Rachel says:

    Hello Brad,

    My ex left me through text about 3months ago. We are from the same school, and the past 3months i have gone crazy and created a lot of drama. He cut me off then. Recently we are in contact again, after working on myself. However, he is very guarded towards me. I tried to establish a communication with him however he got defensive as he probably saw through me. We fought again and i spammed him with calls on texts as i was having a side effect of an anti-depressant (yes i have mental issues). He said he was very exasperated. Yesterday i apologised to him and thanked him for helping me to “wake up”, and that we’ll comminicate without emotional talk, to give him space, and he said he really appreciated it. The thing is during that fighr he said he is seeing someone else and he shouldnt be in contact with me often, i am not sure if he said it to get me off his back as he was very tired and exasperated, or if it is really true? I do not want to ask him as it will show jealousy, any opinions?
    Also, how do i build a connection with him in this situation, and get him to open up to me?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Rachel, sorry to hear about the breakup. Whether him dating someone else is true or not, at this point and given the circumstances, I think it’s best to act like it’s true. His actions scream that he needed this space, so give it to him, okay? Anyway what were you trying to talk to him about? Be sure that it’s fun and light as you’d really want to avoid drama like the plague during this time. This also applies when you get to accidentally bump into him at school. Your interaction should be fun, don’t sulk around as nobody wants to be around someone who’s acting all depressed, all right? Watch this: What to Text Your Ex Boyfriend (And Get Him Back). Good luck!

      Reply
  79. Janice
    Janice says:

    Hello Brad,
    I was wondering if you can give me any advice on if there is even a point to trying this in my situation. My boyfriend broke up with me 9 months ago. We stayed in contact, even skyped a couple times, until about a little more than a month ago, when it suddenly just stopped. The conversation mostly always went on because I was initiating it but at that point I just didn’t know what to say anymore. He acted really weird, some days he would be really friendly and some days really cold and not even replying if he did not like a question. The thing back when we were together was that he lives in India and I had to move back to Europe, but we also had some issues, like him having clinical depression and me being a little too needy. Despite not having seen him in so long I cannot get over him. He even texted me he misses me a couple months ago, which quite frankly rather surprised me because he doesn’t usually say things like that very often. But it is not in the foreseeable future that we will be in the same city again, though we had longterm plans for that as well back then. I really miss him and don’t know what to do. I was prepared for the long distance and from what we talked about while we were together he always said he was as well. But I don’t know if it is even possible to reanimate something from this distance. So since he didn’t text me since I stopped texting, should I say something? Or is it better if I try to restrain myself? And if so for how long? Because not having any contact has been really hard on me. Thanks

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Janice, sorry to hear about the breakup. I suggest you take the free quiz on this website to gauge your chances; answer as honestly as possible. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but keeping in touch with an ex, especially for extended periods of time — after the breakup is a BAD idea. You see, mixed emotions from an ex ( to the point of almost being bipolar) is very common when a breakup is still fresh and this is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with an ex. A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I’ve discussed here, watch it to learn a few tips to understand your situation better: Why Your Ex Gives You The ‘Hot & Cold’ Treatment (Mixed Messages Explained!). Good luck!

      Reply
  80. Sani
    Sani says:

    Hi Brad, My fiance and I ended our engagement just over 2 months ago. We have been together for almost 5 years. For a while it would have seemed like we wanted different things and I don’t know why but my thought processes were the same as him but what came out of my mouth was the opposite. Our foundation wasn’t very strong as it was based mostly on love. I came from a previous relationship of infidelity and his parents got divorced when he was 21. The things that weren’t very strong for us was compromise, respect and individuality (more me than him). I also unintentionally gave him his ring back once in being emotionally reactive which hurt him and again now when it all ended. Since it ended I have taken time to understand my short comings and how I had contributed to this. Chances are had we carried on like this divorce would have been inevitable. I truly do love him and have tried reaching out at least 4 times in the past 2 months which has eventually resulted in me being deleted from social media and my family on limited profiles. He is very head strong and stubborn and I am being defined by mistakes, although we love each other deeply. Not sure how to fix this.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup. Based mostly on love? I don’t see how that’s bad. What foundation were you hoping to have built? With respect, it’s something given freely and naturally to the person you’re in a relationship with. I’m not sure what you mean by it not being strong enough… Anyway if there’s been contact prior, I suggest that you at least really take the time to heal and not rush it, okay? Cut off contact COMPLETELY for at least a month before getting to the second phase. Give him time to miss you. Watch this: How to Make Your Ex Miss You. Take care!

      Reply
  81. Celeste
    Celeste says:

    Hi Brad, Yesterday was my birthday and I desperately needs your advice.

    Me and my boyfriend have been together for 16 months (We celebrated every precious months!) At the beginning of our relationship, my friends warned me about his infamous dating history. Then, 2 of his ex-girl friends also shown up and told me about their terrible memories with him. They had a crush on him, he let them in, took care for them, slept with them a few times, then suddenly broke up and forgot everything. Both relationship only last 2-3 months. When he ask me for official dating, I didn’t know that he was still somehow “unfinished” with the latest girl. However, I decided to trust him and believed that I was his true love, that I was different.

    After that, everything was beyond amazing. We did everything together, we overcame hardship together (mostly his), we introduced each other to our families (in Asian families, this somehow indicates a very serious and long term relationship). He did so much for me, took care of me like I was his princess. In return, I also became everything he needed, supported him with everything I know and I can. Afterwards, he got almost everything, money, career, wide relationship. I always stood in under the stage and let him shine.

    Recently, I got in a big bank loans for my father sake, and had to work terribly hard to get the money. We both were busy like crazy and stress. I still tried to come over his place at night to cook and clean things up, but his class ended really late so I couldn’t stay to see him (he is an 2D artist lecturer). Basically we don’t see each other much during week days, but still dated at weekends. However, he became cold, shorter text, care less about me, no more surprise presents. We talked about our difficulties several times, and he seemed to be fine, realized his lack of caring and promised to notice me more. Then, he started going out with groups which had many girls.

    One day he went out with friends and didn’t even contact me whole day. I was very angry and tired of his recent attitude, so I text him and asked for a break up. I didn’t agree or disagree clearly, and just said he felt so unbalanced. When I called him, he started to criticizing me. He sad he loved me but the feeling stopped because I was so after the money and work, so busy that he didn’t see me as much, and I was always tired and doomed. There were other reasons, but most of them were so selfish and didn’t make any sense. I cried a lot and hang up. After that I sent him a long message saying thank you, remind him to take care and asked a friend to deliver him his birthday present that I bought in advance (maybe first mistake). I was so hurt and hopeless. He didn’t confirm the brake up and ignored me the whole day, didn’t even care if I could have kill myself (he knew me very well).

    Days later I asked him out for a proper answer (second mistake?), I was difficult because he didn’t want to face me, but he came. He didn’t even dare to look at my face and didn’t talk much. Seemed like he tried to compensate me by buying me gifts, hold my hand, and ask me to hug him. I was caring and optimistic at that time to make he feel better. Before be said goodbye, he admitted that he met a new girl (one of his students), and shift ALL of his feelings for her. At late night, he text me and said that “It was a right thing to meet you today”, “I think I am making a mistake”, “I know I’m making a mistake but I can’t stop it”, “it’s torturing me now” and all I said was remind him to take care and wish him all the best. I was hurt and thinking of suicide a couple times for days. He seemed regret it, so I kept my hope for a get back soon, willing to forgive everything. Today is my birthday, I woke up early in the morning and text him to remind him about his tomorrow birthday (Yes, our birthday is consecutive, third mistake maybe, but it was our birthday so I was really confused). The conversation was ok but not great, we seemed to still worry for each other, and he still has little feeling for me. Then suddenly he stopped and kept silence upto now. It has turned to his birthday now, but I haven’t said any “happy birthday” yet.

    So what bother me the most is:
    – Did he truly love me, or just played with me and used me as a tool???
    – Is this (loses interest in his girlfriend after a while) is nature or just a temporary status?
    – Does it sound like I can get him back now? I understand our problems now, and I even ove him more than myself!
    – He’s having feelings for other girls, so if I apply the “no contact rule”, will I lose him to her for good?
    I pampered he so well and we were very compatible in sex, so I thought I’m still somewhere in his mind. What should I do now? I’m so desperate now and I really need your help.

    Many thanks and wish you all the best!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey there…belated happy birthday! I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation at http://www.breakupbrad.com/coaching Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  82. Brandon
    Brandon says:

    Hi Brad, I had been dating a girl for about month and a half. Things were going really great. For once I felt like I wasn’t doing all the initiating, more often then not she was texting me. It was nice to feel like someone was interested in me.

    Anyways nearly 30 days ago out the blue her best friends mom passed away and it really shocked her. She said she needs to figure out what she wants in life before she can involve someone else in it, and at that point she felt it was best that we didn’t continue seeing each other.

    Just prior the break up I might have been a little needy and pressured her little bit to get together, and imply that I wanted to move things forward. Mostly I was a little frustrated since I hadn’t seen in her in a week and half due to our busy schedules. I didn’t realize she had a lot of stressors in her life with her best friend’s mom being very ill, a busy travel schedule for work, then me scaring her a little by putting some pressure on her to get together and try to get more serious. I would of cooled my jets and given her more space had I fully understood what was going on in her head.

    Since we have had few jokey and supportive texts back and forth over the month, and the other day she liked something I posted about a personal goal on Facebook.

    I would like to get back together with her. I have watched your what to text to get your ex girlfriend videos on YouTube. How do you think I should proceed?

    I was thinking of texting her something: Hey! Do you remember the name of that fun word game we played at Snakes and Lattes a few months ago?

    If she asks why, how should I reply? Do I want to play the jealousy angle and say I wanted to introduce it to a friend? Or do I say I want to purchase it for a friend’s birthday?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Brandon, sorry to hear that. As much as I hate to say this, and I do hope I’m wrong, chances are she’s using an excuse to breakup, for whatever reason… and she most likely needs her space right now, so give it to her, all right? A girl who’s into you would most likely turn to you in times of distress instead of away from you. Cut off contact for at least a month to help you both operate from a clear head and not an overly emotional one. Watch this to help you understand: It’s Me, Not You (& Other Most Common Excuse) As for now, since the breakup seems still so fresh, it’s important that you give it enough time first and NEVER rush this process, okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  83. Quynh
    Quynh says:

    Hi I’m Quynh from Vietnam i had seen some your videos about how to take back ex and somehow it made me understand few matter but i still need your advice for my situsation.
    Me and my gf broke up on March 23 and the last day we met was my bday March 20 (hurt). Like I saw in one video that people probably turn into cold emotion, well i think this was it. She suddenly cold to me since March 21 and i dont know why, she said that her family got a little fight so i thought her attitude was down ‘cuz of the family but i realize the day after she can answered a FB comment but not reply my texts. I started thinking “ok there are something wrong here”, and i asked her whatever does she want to end us or not? She said sorry, she cant trust anyone after her broken up, my feeling back there was full of angry, i was being played so i got a little cruel on her.
    Days pass by when i came down, i know there is more than a reason she gave me, so i decided to call her and she let her new lover or i dont know if that is real lover or not, hang up my call. Then she talked to me said she move on and love this person. And i can finally understood that i had been played by a player.
    So angry but i still love her and want to win her back, the thing is on the dating app we used to met, appeared her account but i hided her away so now i cant find her account. So Brad…. Does she really move on or just said that to get rid of me? I really confuse
    Today i searched for her FB account (the day she said sorry, she deleted all my account then i had to sent friend request one more to called her, until now she still dont delete mine. And changed from “dating” to “complicated” relationship). I searched it and saw she posted ” if you cant get off someone in your mind, its because your mind always knows what your heart is thinking” and “im fine”. Are those just a statuses or there are something she want to say?
    I want to take her back but my case you know… I crueled her, im angry at that time and she seem to love somebody else and doesnt bother anything about me… I think i brave enough to take her back but if she already got someone i dont think i cant… I dont wanna be a third one
    Thank you so much for reading this and if you can or not, please write me back. Im waiting for you
    Good day.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Quynh, sorry to hear about the breakup. Right now, it’s really too soon to tell the outcome of the situation, thus, it’s really best to cut off communication first (yes, I’ve repeated this rule in many of my videos) because this first step is really that important. It lets you both operate from a clear mind and less emotionally charged way, among many other benefits like letting him miss you. If your relationship was significant/long-term, he won’t likely forget you that easily, so the best thing you can do now is cut off contact for at least a month and not do any of the stuff here: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back… or better yet, read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential.

      Reply
  84. Pete
    Pete says:

    Hi Brad,

    My girlfriend of 4 years initiated a broke up with me about slightly less than 2 months ago. I realized I have done a lot of the “don’t”, like begging, spamming and telling her my proposal plan I had and etc during the initial stage. After accepting the fact, I have been messaging her since our broke up as a friend, but the reply I’m getting are half-hearted. Should I start using the no contact rule at this stage, will it help? She might have gotten over the shocked period of missing me and might be on her stage of moving on. We are both from Asia culture (China), so not sure will the technique apply here as well.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Pete, yes, it’s worth a try. Cut off contact for at least a month…and as a general rule, the longer you’ve begged or accidentally pile up these mistakes, the more you have to give it space and time, all right?Don’t rush it. The aim should be to let your ex miss you, and she can’t really miss you and will in fact, only continue moving on if you continue to piss her off. Make sense? I suggest you take the free quiz on this website to gauge your chances. Answer as honestly as possible. Good luck, man!

      Reply
      • Pete
        Pete says:

        Hi Brad,

        After the 2 months of breaking up, I’m half way in the 30 days of no contact as you suggested. I realized she deleted every single pictures of me, in her social media. I know I shouldn’t be worrying something that I can’t control, but does this mean anything? Or is she really moving on?

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          It could just be your ex’s way of coping. Anyway social media should be the least of your concerns. Focus on all three phases and your ex may naturally unblock you, in time, as you learn to rebuild that attraction and re-attract her back to your life.. Here are the basics of all three phases of getting an ex back: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) or better yet, read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential Good luck!

          Reply
  85. Jackie
    Jackie says:

    Hello Brad, I am a lesbian and I broke up with my girlfriend in November of 2014. I told her the reason was because I was with someone new. However, I was never in a relationship with anyone before and after the break up despite I was indeed seeing someone new. A week before the break up, we were in a cold war, the kind of period where she just stopped talking to me, reason being I said something inappropriate. A week later, she came back to me and I asked to break up. My ex and I had little to no arguments or fights when we were together despite it’s our second time splitting up. First time was due to the same reason, except it was my ex who was seeing someone. It’s been almost 17 months since the break up and earlier February of this year, she got into a new relationship. Before that, I was told she was devastated to see me leave but I have no idea how long she felt that way. Now, I am not sure if my ex is in a rebound relationship. When she started dating, she seemed kind of protective of her relationship from me, but now she is getting more and more comfortable with sharing it on Snapchat and Twitter. One thing that puzzled me was that before and after she got into her new relationship, she still contacted me occasionally, talking about our common interests. When I found out she is in a new relationship, I insisted on asking if she wants to talk about it. She said alright and I asked it to be in a month’s time, allowing me to go through the no contact period. We will be meeting up end of April or beginning of May. We were also in a relationship for almost a year before I asked to break up. At this point, I probably have done things I shouldn’t have done, what do you think I should do next and do you think it is still possible for me to get her back? Thank you, Brad!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Jackie, sorry to hear about the breakup. Try to get back to the point where the first breakup happened. The reason of you “seeing someone new” regardless of whether or not that holds water had done a number in your relationship and had strained it. Moreover, where did the rebound (girl you were seeing after the breakup) come from? The idea of you seeing someone new may have been validated as true in her mind by you dating too soon. What caused all that to happen? Re-examine those reasons first since it holds a very important key as to why things are the way they are now. All right? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  86. Hope
    Hope says:

    Hey brad, I was wondering if you have any advice for me or could help me out. Me and this guy had been dating for 8 or 9 months. We recently broke up almost 3 weeks ago. Their for a month or two before we broke up it seemed like he was always busy with work or something and very rarely had time for me. He would lie about saying he had to work and he didn’t have to work days. I kept on telling him I would like to see him more and it seemed like he never listened. Well almost three weeks ago we hung out and went to dinner and I was already having kinda of a bad day, after we ate dinner , we were going to go do something and I had a emotional break down. I told him what’s the point of being together if we aren’t going to even try to see each other. He got quit for a bit and then he said I think it’s best if we just become friends. I hate to say it, we are two different people, have different needs and wants, I dont want to loose you out of my life completely, he was crying upset and so was I. I told him that was a mistake , we can fix it. Dont do this. Well I tried getting him back for days, he wouldn’t do it. He kept saying , we might figure out this was a big mistake in a couple of days or a week and be back together. Ever since he has been short with me when I txt. I rarely txt him and when I do sometimes he replies and some times he doesn’t. One day he had made plans with me for the next day to meet up and discuss our relationship and stuff. Well that day rolls around and I txt him and ask him if we are meeting up still and he said no not today I got invited to go to see a school campus and I said some things because it had hurt my feelings because I had thought about what to say, got all dressed up and he ditches me. Well I was doing some research and he was friends with this girl he went to see this campus two. She lived their and he liked her photos. Well every since then when I bring up about us he doesn’t say anything about it. Anything else he will talk about. I dont know if he is with another girl or what but I dont know what to do. I have watched every single one of your videos, I have tried no contact , I just dont know what to do. I love him very much and hope and pray that we will get back together. Help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, sorry to hear about the breakup. I could have just misunderstood, but why were you in touch with him the past three weeks or so? Also, if you’ve already noticed him distance from you, that ought to have been your clue to try and see what’s going. This leads me to my next point: how’s your communication while in a relationship with him? Whatever the case, I suggest you really ought to consider giving each other enough space, so cut off contact for at least a month, okay? Your emotional nature upon seeing him was an effect of you not giving him space, so try to regain yourself first before anything else. Don’t go out of your way to see him on campus but don’t be rude either. This video is for you: How to Act Around Your Ex(6 Tips for Handling Post Breakup Encounters). Good luck!

      Reply
  87. SKP
    SKP says:

    Is it ok to still be friends on Facebook if I’m going to be doing the no contact rule? I’m only on day two and I’m going to stick to it. The breakup was three days ago. But if I’m friends on Facebook with him still, will it matter that he can see things I post? Of course, this is assuming that he doesn’t unfriend me. Thanks!

    Reply
  88. Kate
    Kate says:

    Hi Brad, my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me at the start of this week, we’ve been good friends all through high school and started dating once we left high school. we’d gone long distance in February this year because of college and he is having an amazing time. I on the other hand have been really unhappy. Whenever we talked i’d be pretty down and say how much i missed him, or how everything was average at home, I was convinced he’d break up with me eventually so that was my attitude… and so he did. He said it was a mix of being unhappy in our relationship and not wanting a long distance relationship. I know now my attitudes got to change, for my sake. He’s home in May, do you think i have a chance? p.s I’m moving to his college next year, not because of him, it’s been planned for a long time.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Kate, sorry to hear that. As hard as this may sound, a long distance relationship does have a lot of challenges, apart from distance. Your age, in particular, is also a matter to be taken into consideration. For example, are you goals aligned in the future to where you’d eventually put a stop to this kind of dynamic? It tends to put a strain in an already difficult situation, is what I’m saying. So for now, consider moving on from this, all right? Work on more important matters instead at this point in your life and don’t let a long distance relationship get in the way of that. All right? Good luck!

      Reply
  89. Emily
    Emily says:

    Hi Brad – would love some advice. My ex and I were together 4 years, we moved in together and after 2 months he panicked, said he had never wanted to move in, felt pressured to take the next step and couldn’t force it and left. I did a month NC and he came back sobbing, saying he needed me and didn’t appreciate me enough and wanted me back but wasn’t sure it was the correct decision. I told him that I didn’t want someone who wasn’t sure about me, because I was worried he may just hurt me again. We have been talking ever since for 3 months and are on really good terms. He messaged me last week with a deep message about how much he missed me and didn’t appreciate me enough when we were together, but ended it saying I shouldn’t read into it and he means it as a friend. A few days later he asked me out for coffee. At the coffee he was very nervous and wouldn’t sit near me so I couldn’t flirt too much physically. however, he said how he misses me and his family does and that he has good and bad days and sometimes messages from me set him back, but that he doesn’t want to stop talking to me or being friends with me, though he is worried it may make it hard for us to move on. Also he cannot listen to music because it is about love and he can’t handle it. We then organised to have coffee again this week.
    During this time I sent him a similar I miss you message to the one he sent me but not as deep as his and then a sex message a few days later. I got very positive responses however he asked if I was okay and said he was worried about me and wanted to call me. He didn’t call as he said it got too late but that he is busy with work this week, cannot do the coffee meet up anymore, but that he would like to call me an evening this week.
    What should I do from here to get another date with him please?
    Many Thanks!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      How long have you lived in one single space before he realized he wasn’t ready to really move in? You’re right to protect yourself, but I think the problem is you being unable to trust him again in these 3 months? What has he done to try and regain that trust? Have you both formulate a plan to work on this relationship? As far as building trust goes, he can’t do it alone and you sure can’t do it alone as well; it has to be a collaborative effort. Okay? I hope I’m wrong and I could very well be mistaken, since I only know parts of the story, but it seems like you’re both playing the cat-and-mouse game, it never does anything good, so try to change your techniques, okay? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  90. Manny
    Manny says:

    Hey brad I was wondering if I can get your opinion and what I can do to make progress in getting my ex back. We’ve been broken up for about 2months now and we dated for 6 months. Through out that time things got really serious fast and things were really good up until the break up. She told me she didn’t want to be in a relationship but she still wanted me to be a part of her life. Through out the couple months since the break up there has been little to no contact. Up until a couple days ago we reconnected started to text a little and short phone conversations were it ended on a positive note and her laughing. We decided to go out the last Saturday night, we got dinner went for dessert and watched a movie. What I thought would be an awkward & emotional night turned out It was really a great night. There was also a lot of long eye contact and touchiness/ flirting going on. My question is what do I after this point? Do I set up another date? Or what are some things I can do to fully make this work? Thanks manny!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Manny, getting an ex back is a process, often a long one at that. But like they say, patience is a virtue. What steps have you taken to get her back? Have you dedicated enough time for yourself? What lessons have you learned from the breakup, and what had caused it to dissolve in the first place? I can’t explain it all on here, it’s a bit complicated, and it consists of 130+ pages, so apart from following the tips on the article you’ve just read, I suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential when it comes to exes, all right? All the best!

      Reply
  91. ang
    ang says:

    Hi Brad, my girlfriend of 4.5 years broke up with me 6 weeks ago, because she felt that we were not suitable for each other. She told me she had already been pondering on the thought of breaking up since last year. I have been texting her since then (cold shoulder reply from her). She is a very hard headed and determined girl. Moreover, her decision to break up was further reinforced after she has gotten “signs” from god (she is a religious person) that she is heading the direction way. Recently she starts to delete our pictures on Facebook. Somewhere inside me is still clinging onto the hope, but is it time for me to move on? We are both of Asian culture

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, sorry to hear about the breakup. Well, someone can still be religious and still be involved in a romantic relationship — unless she’s thinking of becoming a nun. Seriously though, I doubt religion is the actual cause of the breakup. I suggest you take some time off (around a month or so) and use this time and space apart so you can see things from an objective perspective and get to see the roles that you BOTH played that led to the breakup, okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  92. Danielle
    Danielle says:

    Hi Brad – I was wondering if I could get your opinion on this. My boyfriend of almost 7 months broke up with me 3 weeks ago. Our relationship had a few rough weeks due to life circumstances (I was unemployed, and interviewing furiously, a little sad). I admit I wasn’t at my best. However, my ex appeared to be happy (enough). We got into a petty argument, and he broke up with me, and told me that we were incompatible and not actually a good match at all. This was shocking to me because he told me he loved me the night before we broke up. A week before, he told me he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life. Basically, he has consistently told me that he wanted to be with me, up until the moment when he suddenly didn’t. He told me he didn’t want to work it out and “couldn’t” get back into it. We have been in slight contact because we have a strict get-tested (for STDS) every three months rule, and I was following up to get his results, and give him mine. What should i do now? Is there a chance? Thanks for your help.

    Reply
  93. leilani
    leilani says:

    Hi Brad, thank u for all that u do n helping us. I will make my story as short as possible. I’ve had an off and on relationship w/my ex-boyfriend for 2 yrs. It was amazing in the beginning. The sex, excitement etc but as I got to know him, I became jealous, insecure, hot and cold due to the lifestyle he had or still had while I was seeing him.
    He had Off and on jobs (I helped him a lot with food, gas and $) always zoned out due to being on medical marijuana for his anxieties. Sex/Romance stopped for months. I pressured him. He then claimed he was asexual (he was so sexual n the beginning he couldn’t get enough) and asked if we could just be friend. We hung out everyday so I knew it wasn’t someone else. I gradually stopped hanging out with him because I felt I was giving him the fringe benefits from a girlfriend without the romance/sex. He kept asking me to hang out so I finally told him that I needed to get over my feelings for him, heal and we could revisit “just being friends” in a few months.

    He got angry, blew up, nasty words were exchanged between the two of us. It was bad. This was all conducted via texts. A few days later, I texted him to tell him we can be cordial friends . He ignored me. I made the mistake for the next 45 days texting him- thank u for wanting to b friends I wish u well, etc. He Ignored me. My last text was 7 days ago wishing him well. I promise myself never to text him. I feel so bad and embarrased about myself. I just want to get over this roller coaster of feelings- good and bad. Brad, what’s my next step? I just want myself back.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You’re welcome! Sorry to hear about the breakup. It’s not a good idea to bring up the concept of being friends, though, especially when a breakup is still fresh, since this is the “no contact” phase where you naturally cut off contact first, all right? This part can’t be skipped. Give yourself the time and space to focus, it’s the least you deserve, okay? Watch this as it may help: How to Stop Yourself from Contacting Your Ex Good luck!

      Reply
  94. Alexia
    Alexia says:

    Hi Brad, I’m having a really hard time with a break up that completely blind sided me. We have not been together that long but have spoken/text constantly (everyday) for the last 7 months. His reasons for ending it were that the feeling weren’t there anymore.
    I’m pretty sure he had been talking to his ex before and that they are now seeing each other again (less than a week since breaking up). the hard part is that he still txt me everyday (I wake up to morning messages), he comments on my pictures and says that I look pretty and wants to come look at my new apartment. I don’t know what he is thinking or what I should be doing. I would like to be back together with him but I can’t tell if he still sees me that way or if he’s just trying to be ‘nice’ because he feels guilty. Any insight would help. Thanks in advance

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Alexia, sorry to hear about the breakup. How did you mean by being “blindsided” though? Has he cheated on you or pretend everything’s okay until things just blew up one day? Were you seeing warning signs he’s not that into the relationship as you are? Anyway if you want him back, as a general rule, then you ought to be open to his contact, especially if you’ve already done the 30-day no contact rule. IF the breakup is still fresh, however, then you ought NOT to be speaking to him, let alone having him in your apartment, new or not. It helps to learn the basics here: How to Reverse the Roles and Win Back Your Ex or better yet, read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and will give you tons of idea on how to go about things. Good luck!

      Reply
  95. Joe
    Joe says:

    Hi Brad, for the past year, I have been involved with a woman who is separated from her husband. Every few months she breaks up with me and suggests that she wants to reconcile her marriage, mostly, she says, because she feels sorry for her husband. I usually do NO CONTACT, and invariably, she always comes back to me within a few days. I never do the full 30 days. I always take her back within a few days. This has happened several times. She did it again this week. I have not contacted her or replied to her (she has texted me twice apologizing). It seems as if she likes the fact that her husband is willing to chase after her and “fight” for her, but I also know that it drives her nuts when she doesn’t hear from me. I have no doubt that she will be contacting me soon, wanting me back. I know the answer is obvious, but should I just hold firm on the NO CONTACT, and possibly just move on?…I am very much in love with her and desperately want to be with her, but I can’t go on like this. Thanks

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Joe, sorry to hear that, man. I think you already have a better view of your situation with her and that’s good. Yes, continue to cut off contact for at least a month and possibly consider moving on from this. This dynamic between you two can’t continue for so long since she does need to make up her mind — withuot your interference. If she’s playing some mind games with her husband (they haven’t divorced yet, have they?), it’s best you steer clear because this is just the type of drama you don’t need.If you don’t cut off contact for at least a month — let her really work for your attention this time and right after and give her enough space for her to get her to think clearly and decide what she really wants — then chances are she won’t change and will just continue to string you both along…and that’s never cool. Good luck!

      Reply
  96. Martina
    Martina says:

    Hi Brad, I’m italian so sorry for my bad english. My ex boyfriend and I were together for almost 2 years, and last Friday he told me that he had to tell me something. We are in the same class and it all happened at school. After few hours I thought that maybe he wanted to break up so he told me that I was right and it all ended. His reason was that he had been confused for about a month and that he found out that it wasn’t just beacause of the school but also because he didn’t feel the same for me as before. I think the reason is that we stay too much together, seeing each other everyday and every weekend ruined our amazing relationship. At first I was really broken of course, but then I thought that we could be friends, but I still love him and I think that he may still feel something for me, because he texted me “we can still cuddle..” and he asked about a friend that I’m going to see this weekend. I want to do everything I can to get him back.

    Reply
  97. lester
    lester says:

    hi brad, I’m going to be 100% open this is very personal so please anyone seeing place take my feeling into consideration. my ex girl friend and i are 19 we known each other since elementary school. in middle school we dated for a little while nothing serious and were great friends. freshman year of high school we would skip classes to make out in the hall. it never went further then that in high school because we got into a fight and i stopped talking to her for 2 years. the fight was bc i knew i loved her and was going to ask her to be my girl friend and she but before i asked her she started talking to another guy and i was to pussy to go after her. senior year she drunk texted me in the middle of the night telling me that she missed me so much and wished we never stopped talking. then in the morning she said sorry i was drunk. i respond by saying “its ok” again me being a pussy. about a month or two later she texted me cause my house burnt down and we met up for some coffee, i kissed her that night and we started dating soon after that. for just under a year and a half. the last month or two of the relation ship our sexual life went to barely nothing but we were still connected. before the month or two towards the end of our relation ship our sex life was great. i feel like i pushed her away by being to controlling but i was just trying to make her better telling her she shouldn’t smoke and stuff. i was also very jealous. i was too stupid to see the signs of it going down hill. but throughout the whole relationship i treated her like a princess. i bought her food almost overtime we went out i payed. i gave her two very memorable valentines days filled with many gifts and love notes. and I’m not someone that has no goals or ambition. i go to college, work often. i have my pilots license and have lots of goals and i think I’m pretty successful so far for my age. the broke up happened when i found messages to another guy from two days ago. i confronted her and she said she was planning on dumping me this week. she met this kid through her BFF the same friend that told her not to date me in the first place. the BFF never liked me for some reason the BFF is a girl. anyways we had one talk since we broke up and not going to lie i cried so much. this all happened yesterday she broke my heart i was in so much pain i was bleeding out of my nose and mouth almost threw up and could barely stand. she really put me through the most pain I’ve ever been in. I dropped her stuff off at her house i left it in the drive way. she was home and the other guys car was there. I’m not going to contact her anymore for about a month, but i want her back. i know she made the wrong decision. my whole family loved her. and her whole family really liked me. we talked about growing old together and having kids and getting married and i still want that. can you please email me and let me know what you think, if you think she still wants me or will again. theres a lot more to this story but this is the important part of it. thank you so much.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, sorry to hear that. I don’t think you’re in the wrong by only wanting to help her by giving advice not to smoke and stuff. It’s a different thing if you’re trying to change her, though, since that’s pretty much where all the distance can start to happen. Say your bit about it and then I hope you left it at that. Anyway the bottom line is she still cheated anyway, and chances are she’s rebounding out of frustration. All right? So give it time and cut off contact for around a month or so, first. Watch this: Is Your Ex Dating Someone New? This Can Help You Bring Them Back Good luck!

      Reply
  98. Pruthvi
    Pruthvi says:

    Hey Brad,my Bestfriend is the one Iove and its was 6 months ago that i met her for the first time in college,she was living in the girls hostel.She was already in a realtionship and the other guy is her family friend and his father is thier business partner.We were in the same class.But i really liked and her and slowly slowly she became my bestfriend.And then we got really close.She said that she had dreams about kissing me and all that nonsense and as the time passed by we got more and more close.
    I used every possible technique on her. Fractionation,covert jealousy everything.
    I even used your NO CONTACT RULE when she was on holidays with her family and I MUST TELL YOU,THAT IT WORKED SO WELL,every text reply was exactly as you said it would be.
    BUT due a unfortunate incident in her family(A newly born baby died).So i had to put everything aside
    and support her….and now after 6 months.She quit college and went back to her hometown to take care of family business.She is still with her BF,but during her time she almost broke up,had fights with me as the topic,and she told the other guy that she cant leave me..ALL said and done.

    Now she is in her hometown and is super busy with her work…that she wont even reply to my calls.

    i really LOVE HER.And she is my only BESTFRIEND.

    PLEASE HELP ME OUT BRAD.
    I don’t want to loose her.

    PS- I am planning on starting NO CONTACT FROM TOMMOROW.
    Kindly relpy me ASAP.
    YOU are my Last Hope.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, sorry to hear about the breakup. I can understand that she had been going through some tough stuff lately, but the thing is, she is in a relationship, before you came along? That should be your major factor there. Does she even know you life her that way? She may only be seeing you as her bestfriend who she really feels close to, but have no romantic feelings for…so try to get that sorted first, all right? If you’ve done everything but she may not even feel the same way for you, then that’s pretty much game playing, man. Good luck!

      Reply
  99. Saydul
    Saydul says:

    Hey brad erm my girlfriend and I spent almost over a year together but we had a few breakups and got back together we broke up again and this one seems really serious she thinks im not the one for her because I keep mentioning other girls to her ive been trying to make her understand ill change she just doesn’t listen so what can I do to get her back?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, sorry to hear that. Stop trying to tell her you’d change though, since that may only come across as annoying, especially since this has more or less become an on-again, off-again relationship; take some time to figure out what’s causing this on and off dynamic between you two, all right? That can really take its toll on you both, eventually. So, cut off contact for at least a month. This video is for you, so watch this: How Not to Win Your Ex Back (The Most Common Mistakes) Good luck!

      Reply
  100. Casey
    Casey says:

    What if she says never again that I Will never get another chance? That she says her reason not to try again is because she just doesn’t want to try?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      If she has to blurt out those words, then chances are you’re really pushing it, man. This is why you ought to give her some space and leave her alone, okay? Stop trying to talk to her because nothing good will come of it. Follow the 30-day no contact rule instead and focus on yourself and your own actions, all right? Good luck!

      Reply
  101. Tara
    Tara says:

    Hi Brad, my ex-boyfriend broke up with me about 5 weeks ago. He said it was because he never has enough time for me (he’s always busy) and he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone right now. We had a really great relationship for a year and he loved me to bits, his parents also really liked me. Do you think I have a chance getting him back? What can I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey, Tara, sorry to hear about the breakup. I hope I’m wrong, but chances are he’s making up excuses to breakup — unless he really is that busy due to some changes. Otherwise, why would he get into a relationship in the first place if he knew he wouldn’t be able to tend to you in the long run. Whatever the case, cut off contact for at least a month and let him really miss you, okay? This may help you understand your situation better: Understanding Why Your Breakup Happened Take care!

      Reply
  102. Marie
    Marie says:

    Hi Brad, my ex and I broke up 2 weeks ago. It was our 2nd time giving the relationship a shot. Last year we were together for about 5 months when he broke up with me stating we were never on the same page. 2 weeks after that, he had a new girlfriend. They didn’t work out and were only together for a month. 6 months after our breakup he texts me saying he made a mistake, he knows what he wants now and he wants to work things out. I gave him another shot, things are seemingly going great, we talk about the future, he tells me how pretty I am everyday and how almost perfect I am for him, getting a dog and having kids one day because he finally met someone worth getting serious with. He even brought up the “I love you” first. Since he left me once before and left me heartbroken, I was always worried he would do it again and when I brought it up, he promised he’s in it for the long haul now and he’s not going anywhere again. The very next day after he said that, he broke up with me again saying that he’s starting to think we don’t fit and he doesn’t want to force things. Needless to say, I’m devastated again. Why would he say all those things and the next day do exactly what he promised he wouldn’t? Since then, I have been doing NC for the last 2 weeks, he has texted me twice to tried and make small talk because I agreed to remain civil/friendly but I intend to go through with the full NC. I don’t want to be his friend, I want another chance because we were on the same page with almost everything we talked about and he’s just using it as his excuse. I don’t know what to do now, should I just give him space because he said he wants to be alone and work on himself or should I try and move on completely? Does it sound hopeless from an experts point of view? I am in love with this man, and he’s the only person I envision my future with. I want him by my side for all of it.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Marie. Sorry to hear about the breakup. The reason why this could be happening is because you haven’t given each other enough time to really clear your head first, and this is one of the reasons for the 30-day “no contact” rule. In other words, you both had been (subconsciously) trying to rush things. I suggest to give it time, first, okay? Otherwise, you two could be back stuck doing the same pattern. With the no contact rule, there is no maintaining light contact or remaining civil since there should be a complete stop to all contacts with an ex for at least a month, all right? I can’t gauge things for now since it’s too soon, and there’s not enough to the story for me to conclude because there are really a lot of other factors at play here. I’ve talked about it a lot in many of my videos, so I’m not gonna elaborate here, but watch this: How to Make Your Ex Miss You Good luck!

      Reply
  103. vishak
    vishak says:

    I brad my ex girlfriend broke up with me 1month back I asked reason for breakup she said she is out of love, not interested.I’m stll texting her.she wants me to be her friend I said her I dont want to be your friend now what should I do to get her back

    Reply
  104. Nikki
    Nikki says:

    Hi Brad,

    My ex-boyfriend broke up with me about 5 weeks ago now. He said we were having too much conflict, which I would agree with. I made a few mistakes that first week (i.e., letting him know I wanted to work it out via texting and calling, getting upset, accused him of meeting someone else). I have gone 4 weeks without contacting him. Last night, he had left a pair of sweats in my door…nothing I wanted back. I did not text him after this, but am wondering if it means anything. Feel stupid for asking, as I shouldn’t be wondering. 🙂

    Thanks so much!

    Reply
  105. Jay
    Jay says:

    Hi Brad, My ex and I broke up 4 months ago. he had a new girlfriend after 3 days we’ve broke up, I feel down, his parents and friends want me but for the new one they don’t like the girl. we don’t talk after the day we’ve broken up totally no talking. we’ve see each other often but we only do is to ignore each other. I want to win him back but how can I? please help me and give me some advice. Thank you so much and More powers!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. Is he still with this new girl or is he now single? I know you mentioned you cut off contact immediately but what steps have you taken to get him back in this 4-month timeframe? It may be time to switch the techniques you’ve been using a bit. Have you checked out my Ex Factor Guide yet? Before anything else, I suggest you take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting him back. Good luck!

      Reply
  106. Court
    Court says:

    Hello! Me and my boyfriend broke up two weeks ago. I just started the no contact order. I was texting and emailing him and he would never reply. I have notice he has been checking my email, I think he is doing that to see what I am doing but I could be wrong. I will admit that it doesn’t bug me in fact I like it because I believe that he misses me. My question is should I change my password? Also we has joint accounts and one of those things was a cell phone plan. I got mad and blocked his phone… I did unblock it but I was wondering if I should delete it from my account?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, Courtney! Things are still too fresh to be doing anything drastic, really; it’s only been two weeks. I suggest to cut off contact first for at least a month and be in a state of hibernate and NOT do anything, okay? You can think about the things you’ve asked me at a latter time, when you’re more calm and have gained better perspective, don’t rush it. I suggest to let him miss you instead, watch this: How to Make Your Ex Miss You Okay? Take care!

      Reply
  107. barry weisenberg
    barry weisenberg says:

    My question revolves around a woman that I recently dated for 3 months. she told me at the start of the relationship that she didn’t want to get serious. I’m 59, she’s 61. During the 3 months, we had a great time. We went out every weekend, got intimate quite a bit over the last month of the relationship, and we also met once a week during the week to workout. On every date, I had her laughing, we would talk about anything, we had a great connection, we always agreed on everything we talked about, and it seemed like everything was going sensationally well on every date. I really liked her. However, one thing I did wrong was that I would periodically drop a hint or two about getting serious, and I know she didn’t want to hear it. That was my mistake. But we continued to go out and we we continued having a great time. Then, just recently, just at the end of the 3 months, she said she didn’t want to get serious and she ended the relationship with me that night. I accepted it and never argued with her about it; I let her go and wished her luck, saying all I want was for her to be happy. She asked me to be friends, and I said NO. I did not want to fall into that trap. Exactly one week after the end of the relationship, she send me a text message that said, “Thinking of you and hope you are doing well.” I had gone to your website to seek advice as to what I should do about that text message, and I saw the rule about no contact, so I have not contacted her for two weeks now. However, I have not heard from her since her first text message. Q: can your Ex-Factor program work for me, even though our relationship was a shorter one (3 months)? I really liked her, and it’s worth it to me to try and get her back. I thought she was the perfect woman for me. Another Q: Do you think that I can be successful in trying to get her back? Your videos are great and I highly value any advice you can give me. Thanks for any advice you can provide.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Barry. Sorry to hear about the breakup. I understand that it was a meaningful one, albeit it being short lived. I don’t know enough about your situation to make a fair judgment and I really can’t guarantee you can get her back. What I can guarantee though, is if you read my guide and follow it down to a tee, then you’ll be in a much better position to get her back and avoid any of the pitfalls many people often overlooked. You’ll also have the ease that you’re on the right track with things if you want her back. If you want me to give an accurate detail as to whether there’s a chance or not, I suggest you sign up for my coaching program too, since there’s always more to a situation than one or two paragraphs. I do close monitoring with my clients and ensure they’re on the right path to where they wanna be; whether to move on or getting an ex back. Take care!

      Reply
  108. Ebru
    Ebru says:

    Hi Brad, i watched every video and read every pages you wrote. Thank you all of them is helpful for me
    I had a 3 years relationship. Last summer we discussed a lot of times. End of the summer he decided to break up with me.. i lost 5 weight i couldnt overcome this situation because we decided to marry….
    3 weeks after the break up i talked him and said ” i miss you … I love you.. but i respect your desicion…”
    After that i found your videos on youtube and i applied no contact period for 5 weeks. He didnt sent any message to me.When i decided to text message to him ( as you said) but i learned he with someone… I just text a message to him ” i heard you have a new gf. i must confest i am sad now but your
    happiness make me happy. We are in the same universty so dont avert your gaze when we encounter…” He said okey we cant be friends after the 3 years but we can greet….
    It has been two weeks. I have no idea what should i do… Can you help me??

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      I’m glad I’ve helped out, somehow. And you’re more than welcome! As you may already know, there are three phases to getting an ex back. I can see that you may have perfected the part where you give each other space, but the second part was a bit destructive. Telling him how you’re sad wasn’t a good thing at all since it shows you’ve been affected. Not saying anything would’ve been better in your case. This is something I’ve mentioned here: 5 Things You Should Never Say to Your Ex. Consider moving on from this and/or if you do meet, keep things upbeat, never show any sign of sadness or even something that’s bittersweet, okay? Lastly, make sure you don’t go out of your way to talk or greet him, just let it happen naturally. Good luck!

      Reply
  109. Anand
    Anand says:

    Hey brad,

    We were in relationship for 3 yrs and for the past one month she started fighting with me yes I do agree that I did something wrong but when I asked her wats the problem she didn’t say anything she just said am angry on u coz I felt like you are checking on me coz u talk to my friends and I tried explaining her that nothing like that happend and I also stopped talking to her friends ad she also added that she needs some time and I told her it’s ok I will wait but last week she just changed her no and disappeared I got angry coz she said she need time and the next day she changes her no so I tried reaching her work phone but someone else answered the call and said her no is changed and they didn’t know the no
    I have no way of contacting her or even the worst case is one month back I travelled to a different country and I don’t know when I will be able to go back home and meet her I don’t have a clue y she did it like this and I don’t know how to get in touch with her

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, sorry to hear that. Her changing her number was a means for her to get space from you, but you panicked and took it personally, which didn’t do anything other than cause more damage. This may not be what you want to hear, but you’re being too needy by doing those things, man…and that will push almost ANY girl away. You ought to regain yourself first. When you hear the word “space” that’s your cue to back off completely, so regardless of whether your number is blocked or not, there should be no calls or texts to her, all right? I suggest you take the chill pill and try to really relax. Cutting off contact and focusing on your own actions will help you do that. Sign up for my coaching program if you feel your situation is too unique and why you shouldn’t cut off contact or if you’re still unsure what to do next. Good luck!

      Reply
  110. suman sethi
    suman sethi says:

    I have begging for 5months to my ex gf,my ex brokeup bcoz I proposed to another girl and ignored her,but now it has been 9months I m trying to convince her,I have done no contact for 21days,she met after that happily then she again turned rude and doesn’t want to get into relationship…I have been contacting her continuously but she’s ignoring…she’s leaving the town after 2months what shall I do pls tell me

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      She’s more likely having a hard time trusting you, man. I think you need to spend more time alone and being single first especially if there are two people crossing your mind — otherwise you’d lose both women for good, okay? It’s time to ask yourself some important questions like why you proposed to another girl while seemingly still have feelings for the ex you now want to get back together with. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular basis to help improve yourself and your life overall. Talk soon!

      Reply
  111. rose
    rose says:

    Hi Brad,
    Thank you so much for putting this post up .Its sincerely given me a ray of hope . I am in an unusually different position .My ex and i had this really amazing connection and many common factors keeping us together including physical chemistry but he wanted to start a family soon and decided to go his sown way after 2 yrs of dating .I found it hard but was getting on with my life as always saw this coming.However ,He kept trying to make contact in some way or form even after he had stated dating a girl who he has nothing in common with except for she may want to get pregnant soon without asking for marriage. one thing led to another and we started seeing each other off and on and clearly enjoyed each others company .He told me how much he missed my company .Although he didn’t promise me anything .Next time I heard that his girlfriend was at his place I lost my marbles and arrived at his home with him while she was there and asked him to tell her abt us .After this episode he was clearly angry and for the first time told me he never wanted to speak to me again .In the past I have been ok with the breakups but this time its different and i desperately want him back .Have i lost him forever or do i still stand a chance .he was in 2 minds with his current girlfriend and the chemistry between us is unmissable .Please advise if I shd follow the above steps and invest in your program or is it too late .

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You’re welcome, Rose. I think the main issue here is due to a misalignment of goals. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but even if you do get back together (and yes, it’s possible using my methods), the problem still remains: he wants to start a family and you don’t. That’s a major clash right there and no amount of chemistry can make up for it. Have you two tried reaching a compromise or a middle ground where you’re both happy when it comes to when you should start a family? Cut off contact for at least a month so you’d both be level-headed enough to make a decision on how to move forward with this. Good luck!

      Reply
  112. Myer
    Myer says:

    hey brad my ex and me have been broken up for about 6 months and I honestly miss him, I’ve missed him since I broke up with him I just don’t know if he misses me too. I see him daily in school, we’re both seniors and we have pretty much all our classes together, and today I noticed him staring at me, and when we dated we would always do that and smile at each other then tell each other we love each other, and I wanted to look away like I always do but I couldn’t I just stared back and smiled then looked away. When I looked back he was stilling looking at me. I don’t know what to do cause most of the time he just ignores me and flirts with other girls. But when he would talk to me and when he looked at me, it felt like nothing changed. Please help me brad I really love this guy and I don’t think I’m ready to give him up. ~Myer S.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! His staring at you can be due to a plethora of reasons, so try not to overthink stuff. When you mentioned you broke up with him, did you mean you initiated the breakup? If so, then the ball is clearly in your court. If it’s the other way around and he initiated the breakup, however, then try to get more solid signs rather than your ex staring at you 🙂 This video will help guide you: Does Your Ex Want You Back? 8 Signs to Look For You can refer back to my videos to get some tips on how to get an ex back, in addition to this article, but if you need the step-by-step guide, then I’m afraid I can’t explain it all on here even if I want to, it’s a bit complicated and contains 130+ pages, so I suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide. Okay? Take care!!

      Reply
  113. Raju Kashyap
    Raju Kashyap says:

    Hello Brad, plz help me. My gf broke up with me 2 days back. she told me that she tried her best to love me but couldn’t forget her ex bf. She told me that I was only a mean of time pass to her, but her words didn’t bother me to think that she didn’t love me. Now she is with her ex. I made a mistake I begged her to back in my life. please guide me what to do.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Raju, sorry to hear that. I suggest that you move on from this. I hate to say this but you may have very well been the rebound in this case, but whatever the case, it wasn’t a good idea for you to have begged her. Move on from this or cut off contact for at least a month so you can process the breakup and accept the reality, all right? Learn whatever you can from the encounter with her and the next time you encounter a similar situation, try to let her grieve the breakup from her previous relationship and don’t rush it, okay? Good luck and I hope you find the right girl for you!

      Reply
  114. Dave
    Dave says:

    I have been broken up with my ex for about 3 months now,
    I feel like I can put our last relashionship in the past & ready to start a better one,
    I can see why our past relationship failed & have healed from the pain of the breakup & in a much better state emotionally. I have been doing the things you recommend, eg, working out, going out, concentrating on finding myself again,
    I have almost complete the 30 days no contact & am ready to initiate contact again.
    Although I did find out she has started seeing someone else, and thing are moving very quick between them, (looking to move in) which is what she always wanted with me, from what I have read this sounds like a rebound relashionship? As she is not the type who likes to be alone, also has some insecurities.
    How do I tackle this rebound?

    Reply
  115. Jessica
    Jessica says:

    Hi brad.

    Me and my ex girlfriend broke up a little over a week ago. We already tried getting back together already and we just got back into the same habits that ended our relationship. During our first try together I did not see a future together so I broke up with her. A few weeks later we got back together. Then the second time around she broke up with me saying she does not see a future with me, now that I have fallen in love with her. Not sure if I should try to get back with her or just move on. She had said she wants to remain friends. I have enough fiends I want a girlfriend. She kept stating that she wished we where friends before we became lovers. What does that mean?

    Any suggestion will be appreciated.

    Jessica

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Jessica, I think you really ought to use the “no contact” strategy first because chances are, you’re both still not thinking clearly in making these decisions. Cutting off contact may help you avoid that problem, among many other things. Her wanting to be friends before you got into a relationship could translate to you or her (or both of you) not taking the time to really know each other and perhaps got into it too quickly. Watch this: How to Get Your Ex Back Good luck!

      Reply
  116. Kate
    Kate says:

    Hi Brad
    My boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago, 4 days after my birthday, when we had the time of our lives, and I miss him terribly! We were together for almost 3 years. Last week we saw each other and we had a good conversation. He didn’t think we would have such a conversation because when he arrived he had all my stuf with him. We first talked about us, about our relationship and about what went wrong. I also apologized for everything that I think I did wrong. Then we just talked about our weekends and some random things, we even laughed. I asked him if he still loves me and he said ‘of course I still love you, after 3 years…’. The 13th of December we would go have dinner with his grandparents for my birthday and he said his grandma called to aks if my parents would join us. Isn’t it weird he hasn’t told his parents yet? And that he still asks if my parents want to join us? We talked for 2 hours, we even had silences where I thought he would leave, but he didn’t he just looked at me. When I realized it was time for him to go I started talking about us again because I really want another chance, things really have changed for me, we now study in the same city, we have our own apartments, so we wouldn’t have to stay with each other all the time, I have to study a lot more and I learned to do things with my friends again and let him have his ‘boys night out’. I saw that he had a hard time, he also said that it is difficult for him but that we tried so many times. But that’s not true I think, things never changed for me, I was still in the same crappy school and in the same crappy city where I had no friends, now I’m in a place where I can have fun without him too. I just want him to believe it would be different this time… So I asked him to believe me when he was about to leave and he said prove it but i can’t prove it to him because I don’t see or hear him anymore and then he said I had to prove it to my friends, but what am I with that? Before he left he said that he wouldn’t leave and say we are back together but that he will think about it, he even said he would probably text me. But the days after our talk he spent a week with his friends drinking and going out and laughing about sex and other stupid things guys do (no offense), so wouldn’t have to think about me or miss me and of course he didn’t text me as he said he would. Last week I saw him again because he wanted to help me with my math but he wasn’t nice at all, he just gave me his books and said that I just have to study them. I then started begging and he even said that he thinks that he doesn’t love me anymore, he took everything he said the week before back, i was hurt, i just ran out crying, i didn’t understand anything anymore! What is wrong with him? He just doesn’t know what to do I suppose… But it’s been long enough, I want him back! We share all our friends, this is so difficult! And I have one more question, at the end of the week he has to undergo a surgery and I know how afraid he is of going to the hospital, should I wish him good luck or just keep on not contacting him? Thank you for everything… BTW i have read your book but I think if I wait to long that i will lose him forever, he is a sensitive guy and he doesn’t want to hurt me, if he sees that I’m happy again he will not want to get back with me because he is afraid of hurting me again if it doesn’t work out again 🙁
    Thank you Brad!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup, Kate. You ought to realize though that all this drama is partly caused by and boils down to you two not giving each other enough space for at least a month. Give him space and don’t go chasing him, especially since he’s acting hot and cold/confused/he-loves-you, he loves-you-not type of attitude. This doesn’t come as a surprise to me at all. I’ve explained the importance of the 30-day no contact rule in this article as well as in many of my Youtube videos, so please refer to that. Also read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. All right? Good luck!

      Reply
  117. Molly
    Molly says:

    I started dating a guy during my senior year of high school. He was my fourth boyfriend. He wasn’t my first love, but I was his. In the beginning he couldn’t bare to be separated from me even for a minute. I didn’t love him that much but then I started to realized that I did love him and more than I had ever loved someone before. I feel so hard for him. We fit together perfectly and we were beyond happy when we were together. We were in completely different social groups. He was “popular” and partied a lot. I was a shy art kid. He told me I saved him because he began to be suicidal and depressed and I show him how to live. This summer he showed up at my house and tried to break up with me twice in a span of two weeks but came back each time. He said he was scared he was going to ruin me when we went to college because he was going to start partying a lot again. I told him we could do anything we wanted and not to be afraid of the unknown. I also said that he had the power to not be influenced by all that stuff again. When he went to college he started hanging out with all the guys from our high school that he said he never wanted to see ever again. He started self medicating and smoking weed at least once of twice a day to help him sleep. He was also taking Benadryl to help him sleep and I’m sure speeders and psychedelics again as well. He started partying multiple times a week and just seemed angry all the time. He was very distant and just stopped caring. He became so “bipolar” with me. I wouldn’t hear from him all day and then I would get messages saying I miss you so much and I love you and don’t give up on us. I got angry one night and freaked out at him because he said something mean to me. Three days later he came home from college and broke up with me. He said that he didn’t love me anymore and that he felt too guilty because he always had to apologize whenever he’d go out and party and that he didn’t deserve me. I never once complained about him partying or doing lots of drugs again. I always told him to live his own life and that I would be here. He said he always felt guilty for not giving me enough attention. I love him more than anything. He made me feel complete. I realize that we’re young but everything made sense when we were dating. I had never felt so happy. I haven’t spoken to him in a month. I didn’t use snap chat, Facebook, or texting so he hasn’t seen or heard anything from me in that time. His best friend suggested to give him space and to send a postcard with a drawing I did of his favorite book. I did that on the one month “anniversary” of our break up. I’ll be at the same college as him next fall. I just miss him so much. I’ve done everything I can to be happy. I am a lot happier. I have a job. I work out all the time. I go out with friends a lot. I’ve even had things with new guys. Everything just makes me miss him even more. I want my boyfriend back. I hope he misses me. I never did anything to hurt him in our relationship. I treated him so well. He always told me I was the perfect girlfriend for him and that he never wanted to lose me. HE hasn’t contacted me at all. What should I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Molly, sorry to hear about the breakup. His words and actions do suggest that he’s not ready for a committed relationship. It may or may not have anything to do with his age, but your best bet is still to cut off contact for at least a month and let him miss you and see what life is like without you, all right? Watch this: How to Make Your Ex Miss You Whatever the case, try not to take things too seriously now since your age is a period of growth and lots of changes. Focus on your studies instead, all right? Take care!

      Reply
  118. juan
    juan says:

    So I’ve been dating this one girl for almost 6 years engaged on valentines day this year. We had a good relationship until the abortion last year in feb. We been on and off ever since. We broke up in june this year again because of the same old thing not trusting me and talking about me telling about the abortion to people and problems of course after i was sad of the break up after last feb. then she starts asking me for money for surgery which i offered to help her once because she needed it and told her too. then another month she asked me for money but i said no, i’ve done alot in your life already from helping her financially and supported her. she got really mad and exploded on text saying all i ever did was tear her apart, didn’t respect her and didn’t care about is. which was pretty much a lie. Then she said she wanted me to regret this for the rest of my life that i took her for granted. and if nothing better to say she would call me a fucktard of a father if the baby was still here. Ever since we broke up she’s been going out drinking with her friends alot, hanging out, and also dating a few guys but it never lasts idk why. now she loves this another guy again. I don’t get why she has to keep repeating the same thing, especially that she says I don’t love you anymore, and could care less about you etc. just like last year if you didn’t care why keep saying it, does that mean she has heavy feelings still this was 2 weeks ago? luckily i’m polite and don’t react. Need some help please.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! Sorry to hear about the breakup and the abortion. Since you’ve mentioned that this has become an issue and is the main cause for your relationship becoming on and off, I suggest to start looking for clues there. Was the abortion a mutual choice or was one or both of you against it? I’m guessing there’s some conflict there since it rocked the boat in the relationship and you ought to delve deeper into that and see the situation and accept it for what it is. It’s always easier said than done, though, but it’s not impossible, just takes practice. Cutting off communication for around a month can help you focus on yourself and think clearly. Words that come out from each other during this period will only confuse one or both of you more, so it’s best to take some time off, okay? Don’t overanalyze.Cut off contact instead and make your time productive. Watch this: Are You Overanalyzing Your Ex’s Behaviour?

      Reply
  119. Duong
    Duong says:

    Hi Brad

    I read your book on Mend the marriage – it helped me keep things in controlled when my husband (of 6 years with 2 kids) demanded separation. In these 2 weeks, things are calm between us. I stop blaiming or demanding him. We send each other a few text messages a day (casual message wishing a good day or have a good lunch). We sleep in other rooms and he wld go out late. He will move out today. I understand the No contact rule. But we have 2 kids. He wants to send them and me to school and work everyday. He will come and play with them in the evening. So how to I not fall to a friend zone with him and how to get him attracted again?

    Thanks lots

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! Sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time, but I’m glad you’ve taken the initiative to help yourself. However, I suggest you read the book again to make sure you don’t miss anything, all right? The rules of cutting off contact do not apply to a marital situation. Everything that you ought to be doing is already in the book you have. Anyway it seems like you’re making progress and that’s good. Don’t expect for things to be back to normal right away because these things really do take time, so take baby steps, and try not to get baffled because things don’t seem to be moving or if you feel like you’re about to be friendzoned okay? Just make sure to follow the Mend the Marriage book down to a tee in order to get the best results. I wrote that with people like you in mind, and I’ve had success with it since the launch, so it might just work out for you as well, just keep the faith and follow the book! 🙂 Take care!

      Reply
  120. Kitty
    Kitty says:

    Hi Brad, so my boyfriend of 2 and a half years broken up with me about a month and a half ago. The reason was me getting very insecure and jealous towards the end of the relationship. I did no contact and started anxiety management classes but he’s been really hot and cold. He also has a new girlfriend. After no contact was over and before i even contacted him, he spammed me with 9 long messages and i took your advice and replied 4 hours later, he asked me to call him since he has no calling credit or internet access and i did. The talk was very good, he said he loves me, regrets the break up and wants to see me and have sex with me (eventhough he has a new girlfriend) except for the fact he said that he felt like it was him holding me back. 2 days after was the same story. but when i texted him on saturday the response was quite negative. I’m starting to get really desperate. I’m scared he is going to fall in love with this new girl. Please help me

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! I think at this point, it’s important to focus on continued efforts to manage anxiety/curb jealousy regardless of how your ex’s act, okay? If you want him back, I don’t think it’s a good idea to agree to be just friends (with benefits) unless that’s what you want. Being treated as an option by him can cause another problem and is very counterproductive to you not being jealous, so you ought to take as much time as you need for yourself here. If he’s in a rebound relationship, chances are it’s gonna end pretty soon, but not with you agreeing to be friends and being on the side. Watch this and pay attention to the stuff I mentioned here: 5 Mistakes… Good luck!

      Reply
  121. Twinkle
    Twinkle says:

    Hi, brad. My boyfriend broke up with me cos I cheated on him with my ex over a year ago and lied about it. But I eventually owned up. Arguments have been unending till he finally broke it off alnost back. And I initiated the no contact immediately it’s almost 2 months o NC. He says he hates,resents and has so much anger. Afraid to contact him.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, some people do have different reactions to cheating and unfortunately, you really can’t control how he reacts or whether he can forgive you or not since this depends on him. The best thing you can do, if you haven’t already, is to make sure that you apologize and really mean it. One sincere apology always trumps a hundred “I’m sorrys” Okay? Be sure to give him time to let his anger simmer down and don’t add up to it. Focus on yourself at this time. Learn some tips here: How to Get Your Ex Back After Cheating (& Get Them to Forgive You) Good luck!

      Reply
  122. L
    L says:

    Hi!
    As with most of the responders here I’ve a unique situation. I’m 12 years older than my ex…. We’re in place where it’s traditionally an issue for the woman to be older in a relationship. Anyway, for a couple of months we were exactly try amazing, if the same mind, habits, hobbies, interests, etc. Then, one day I asked where we may be headed and that threw him into a spiral of thinking about the future with my age and his life goals..what he needs to do, being busy with life goals, etc.
    He decided that he couldn’t be with me, not because of anything other than culture and needing to focus on his life goals, although he was actively looking for someone when we met. A week after the tearful separation he said he wanted to try. We met up, agreed to try, got together physically, then week later he did the same ‘I can’t’ thing. But in a note, saying he couldn’t do it face to face as he couldn’t make the break like that, that thing change and he can’t make the break in person. In the note, he said maybe we shouldn’t talk or see each other for a long time, maybe be email pals but that he couldn’t see me for a while as it is too ‘fresh’. He answered all my questions about why, cried with me via text etc. We haven’t had any contact in about a week, 9 days since the breakup.
    The only mutual contact we have is a popular chat app.
    Heeelllllppppp!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there! I’m sorry to hear about the breakup. I may not know the entire story, but I think age has very little to do with why he broke up. When you get to the bottom line, it’s usually due to a loss of attraction. Watch this: The Number One Root Cause of All Breakups (And Why Your Ex Lied About It) Try to regain your balance first and avoid any contact for at least a month, okay? Being needy or crying/pleading, etc. may only push him away further once he feels pressured, so don’t wait for that to happen. Cut off contact instead and work on yourself, focus on your own actions, all right? If you think I’ve missed a few important details or if your situation is too unique, feel free to sign up for my coaching program anytime. Take care!

      Reply
  123. Casey
    Casey says:

    Hey Brad. I met my girlfriend snowboarding and when we met, we were really interested in each other and I was really positive and outgoing. We went out for about 6 months and we did a lot together. But recently we’ve been fighting over stupid things, and i would get upset if she couldn’t see me as often as I would like and if she was around other guys. I know I made a mistake and I feel really bad. I can’t lose this girl, she’s always there for me, she’s my best friend. Another problem is I need to learn that she has feelings too, because I always expected her to just be there for me and I wasn’t really there for her. I was just wondering if there’s still a chance I can get her back? I pleaded right after she broke up but then immediately after I applied the NC rule but I’ve been talking to her mom over texting.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Casey, you’re on the right track by realizing the role you played in the breakup. It’s indeed a mistake to constantly pick fights and/or be jealous. Try to understand the root of the issue and see if they can be resolved or not — most of the time it can be resolved. But you have to play your cards right, okay? Don’t self-sabotage whatever chance you have left, so cut off contact for at least a month and pay attention to the stuff I talked about here: 5 Mistakes that Could Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back You ought to read my Ex Factor Guide, too, so you’ll know how to go about getting her back and what to do after cutting off contact for a month. Good luck!

      Reply
  124. Cheynee
    Cheynee says:

    Hi Brad,

    Hope things are great for you! I happen to chance upon your website and I thought you might be able to help me.

    My ex and I broke off about 1.5 months ago. The reason he gave when he initiated the breakup was that he did not feel sufficient intellectual connection with me. He said he felt our conversation is boring, superficial and he finds me stupid. Oh yes, he has a great passion when it comes to philosophy.

    He started dating another girl right after our breakup, and within 3 weeks of dating her, they are now a couple. He still wanted to be my friend and insist that we can be friends, when I told him that I could not be his friend at all. I tried to be his friend since I find it no harm to maybe give it a shot.

    We were still talking until a week ago, where I cut off contact completely because I could take it no more. During this duration of 1 month, I had begged and cried and asked him to come back. I went to his house once after I got drunk and cried throughout the night, when he would hold me and hush me to sleep. He would be reminded of our happy times now and then, and he would communicate to me via texting, saying how he misses my antics or little actions that he adores. But right after these texts, he would turn into a completely different guy in the subsequent messages, by telling me that he has found the love of his life. He would make a comparison between me and his current girlfriend. Gosh, I will always be so affected and devastated whenever he does it.

    I realised that I always had to be the one apologising whenever he rakes up our past. Despite knowing that I’m not in the wrong, I tend to give in and apologise because I want all arguments to stop as I find it pointless to be raking up the past. The verbal bullying don’t just stop there, but carries on and he will always say that I do not deserve his love, and now that he is gone, I am begging for him to come back. However, after these chain of nasty messages, he would turn into a complete weirdo by asking if I had met anyone new, or am I sleeping with someone. If so, he would ask for the frequency and then say he is abstaining from sex because his current girlfriend is uncomfortable.

    I am very confused as to whether this phenomenon is even common. Please advice me on this. Your help is greatly appreciated. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Cheynee, sorry to hear that. I’m all for helping people get their exes back, but if there’s things I don’t tolerate, it’s disrespect and abuse of any form. Realize that him asking you to be friends was awfully selfish of him, especially after clearly indicating that you don’t fit the bill and making a statement by dating someone else right away. I suggest to take his word for it and take all the time to heal. Accept the breakup and that it’s over. You’re both fundamentally different and your goals are clearly not aligned, you deserve better. Move on from this, all right? Understand that you don’t have to go through unnecessary pain, really. He has all the power in your interaction simply because you’re enabling him. These videos are for you: How to Escape the Friendzone and How to Get Over a Breakup Take care!

      Reply
  125. m
    m says:

    Hi Brad,
    I’m still seeking for the solution. So,the story goes like this, we were starting to know each other since early Jan this year. Initially, we knew each other from online dating website. To shorten, we met on face to face on Jan 2015 in Asia, just for one night and he said he wants to keep in touch with me, and then he was going back to Europe (I’m working in Asia). And our life was going on every day, keeps emailing to each other until June 2015 (we are in LDR).

    And he came again to Asia on June 2015 to spend one month with me . We had a very well-spend month together during that time.

    But, a month after we spend time together, he went back to Europe as he still need to working on his study. One day, we talked about marriage thing. He wouldn’t mind about my religion – he can do his religion, I can do mine. But one more thing is, I can’t get married with him in my country – because its illegal in my country to mixed-marriage. So I came out with solution, I can go somewhere in Europe as I have a dream to pursue my study there next year. At the first place, he agreed with that. But later he said, he needs some more time to think about it. And I gave him that space he wants.

    After a few days, he emailed me and came out with the decision that he don’t want to continue this relationship as he doesn’t see any future in us because different religion and culture – he added, we could be probably make it happens for awhile, and it will not last long. But I replied to him, I just stated that was my own point of view (not desperately wants him). And he didn’t reply my email. A few days later, I send another email to him – I said that I will not giving up easily on him. But unfortunately, he didn’t reply my last email. It have been over many days.

    What should I do now? I think I have a very little opportunity as he will come to Asia again on Nov for his works. And I still keep in touch secretly with one of his friend. I know it was hard for both of us. But I believe this relationship couldn’t be end like this. Thanks

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, sorry to hear that. I suggest you take the breakup as a blessing in disguise though. There may not be enough foundation in the relationship to go for marriage right away. You guys may want to take it slow and get to know each other better first, okay? It’s easy to fall for someone during the initial stages, and considering how most of your relationship had been spent in long distance, I really suggest to get to know each other better. There’s really no need to rush. With that said, cut the guy some slack and let him contact you first, all right? Use the time spent away from him to really assess your relationship from an objective perspective. Good luck!

      Reply
  126. Sunshine
    Sunshine says:

    Hi Brad. I was seeing this guy for a little over a month. We really seemed to click in every way. Our chemistry was through the roof. We were intimate right around the 1 month mark. A week after we were intimate we had a conversation where he told me that an ex girlfriend that he’d been seeing off and on for the past 6yrs had started contacting him and wanted to get back together. So,even though he really liked me and thought things were going great between us, he’d agreed to try & see if they could work things out. He then tells me, he doesn’t know if it’s gonna work out between them, but he doesn’t want to ask me to wait for him & he’d still like to check on me from time to time. What should I do? I’m confused!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there, sorry to hear that. Right now it’s important to see the situation for what it is: a rebound relationship. I don’t have all the details, but the fact that he came running back to his ex could mean that he’s not ready for a serious relationship with you. He may just had been looking for someone to sleep with and nothing more. Stay away from him if this isn’t what you want. Whatever you do, be sure you don’t chase and to not your wear heart out on a sleeve, okay? Take care!

      Reply
  127. Elizabeth
    Elizabeth says:

    Ok, I feel like I’ve done everything wrong. I broke up with this guy and then I took it back a few days later and he was so upset. He didn’t want to talk about it but wouldn’t say he wanted to stay broken up but then after a couple of months we both said we wanted to work it out and things seemed to be back to almost normal. then a month after that we just stopped communicating because I got frustrated with him and said so and then he said he had some issues within himself he needed to work on and learning to express his feelings was one of them. Communication was never his strong point. I don’t know, I’m pretty sure I’ve ruined it and wish I had known about your website as soon as this happened. There’s been no contact between us for two months and I don’t know how to save it. I guess the fact that I’m not hearing from him is a sign of how he feels. it’s just so frustrating.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. Breaking up out of frustration or at the spur of the moment is never advisable. This why it’s important that you both take that much needed timeout, all right? If he isn’t good at communicating but you are, then try to bring out that quality in him. It’s a matter of gently coaxing him out and eventually seeing what works and what doesn’t. If you both have communication issues, however, it’s best to let this one go and find someone more compatible. All right? Whatever the case, be sure to give it enough time and space first. Good luck and take care!

      Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Of course! Please do understand though that I go by in the order that I receive them (just like here on Youtube) and that my coaching clients take first priority. Sign up for my coaching program instead if you think your situation is urgent so I can address it as soon as possible, all right? Otherwise, you can email me through my website. Talk soon!

      Reply
  128. Barena
    Barena says:

    Hello Brad!
    I met half year ago boy and we was together almost 4 months. It was passionate an full of love relationship. Now Im in Canada and he made visa because of me to the canada aswell. He planned to be here with me a year. We didnt broke up, but three months ago he went to USA for a camp program. We was messaging as a normal couple first two months we was separate. But its a three weeks and for him its big problem to responding me and he told me he met a girl there on the camp and they are travelling usa now. They have photos together and he even ” didnt said im breaking up with you” He just doesnt comunicate. But anyway.he is still going to canada but I dont know if he will come with her or without her. I dont know how to contact him to ask him if she is going with him. Im just scared from the answer. How to make first contact? How to meet hem when he will arive? Do I have chance to steal him back?Is there any possibility you can help me? Thank you very much Brad!

    Reply