No Contact: Should I Ignore My Ex?

Often times, when someone wants to get their ex back, they’ll send them a constant stream of text messages and phone calls begging for their forgiveness. They’ll tell him or her that they still love them and that they’re willing to fix all the things they’ve done wrong.

Woman ignoring her ex!However, based on expert relationship advice, it turns out that if you really want your ex back, you shouldn’t be sending them these messages. In fact, if you really want your ex to realize they made a mistake, you should be doing the complete opposite. Sound weird and counter intuitive? It is, but it works.  [RELATED: How to Get Your Ex Back]

Relationship expert Brad Browning specializes in helping men and women reunite with their exes. He’s been doing it for over 10 years.

“When people are heartbroken, often times they’ll do or say anything to try to convince their exes to come back. But to be honest, they don’t realize that what they’re doing is destroying their chances of getting their ex back, because in fact, at this point, they should probably be ignoring their exes for now,” says Brad.

The reason being that right now, your ex knows that you want them back. You no longer pose any challenge, and therefore their attraction to you is low as they know they can have you whenever they feel like taking you back; when your ex knows for a fact that they can get back together with you in a second, the appeal and magic just disappears. What you need to do is reverse the roles completely and convince your ex that you have actually moved on and that you don’t want him or her back. 

Only then will he or she feel the need to contact you again, and only then will you be able to create that sort of “attraction” and “spark” you two had when you first met. (Brad recently released a video explaining exactly how you can get your ex back in the shortest amount of time possible.)

Yes, I understand that trying to appear to move on right now is difficult. And for some people reading this, it may sound almost impossible.

But How Long Should You Ignore Your Ex?

“For 31 days,” says Brad Browning. “That is, 31 days at the very least, depending on the situation. But 31 days has proven to be the length of time at which any person, even one who has been determined to move on from an ex, starts missing someone – especially a person that was dear to them.”

“I promise you that if you do follow the right advice, you will optimize your chances of getting your ex back.” — Brad Browning

Not only does Brad say that you should be ignoring your ex completely during this time, but he also says that you should focus on moving on before contacting them again.

He says that exercise, work, and dating other people should keep you preoccupied right now, and that “getting over your ex” is the first step to getting your ex back.

Brad also says that ignoring your ex isn’t the only thing you should be doing.

“See, what a lot of people don’t seem to realize is that your ex won’t even think about getting back together with you in your desperate state. You need to first prove to them that you actually don’t need them in your life, and ignoring them is one of the ways of doing this. You shouldn’t say it directly, of course, but you need to convey it subtly. You need to show him or her that you’ve got other singles chasing after you. And, finally, you need to communicate with them in an attractive way,” says Brad.

people exercising

Brad recommends exercising to help you ease the stress of getting back with your ex.

When asked how to communicate with your ex in an attractive way, Brad says, “You need to talk to him or her in the way you did when you two first met. You need to remind your ex, subtly, of how you two were when you first felt that initial stage of attraction towards each other. This attraction phase is the key to rekindling your relationship with your ex, and only then will he or she begin to fall back in love with you.”

Brad says that in his time as a relationship coach he has helped 80% of his clients (both men and women) get back with their ex partners. And that’s not all. Browning has recently released a step-by-step guide on how you can get your ex back, no matter your situation. In fact, LoveLearnings recently reviewed his program and was blown away by our reader’s responses.

Justin Schultz from Calgary tells us:

“My girlfriend broke up with me a month ago because I cheated on her. Worst mistake of my life. I wanted to do anything and everything to get her back. After reading Mr. Browning’s program, I realized I was doing everything incorrectly. After reading his guide a few times and applying his material, my ex girlfriend slowly began contacting me more, talking to me, and eventually, wanting to get back together with me. This was over 5 months ago and we are still together.”

Brad Browning’s program works for both men and women. In fact, unlike other programs out there, Brad has designed two separate programs – one for men and one for women. “Men and women think quite differently when it comes to relationships,” Brad says. “Women are much more passionate and rely on their emotions and instincts, whereas men don’t. They often rely on information that’s available, even though the information may just be completely wrong.”  [RELATED: Should I Be Friends with My Ex?]

Does Brad guarantee that ignoring your ex and following his advice will work?

“Of course not. I can’t guarantee you anything,” he says.  “Sometimes, relationships can’t be fixed, no matter how hard you try. Sometimes, not even the most powerful psychological tricks can help two people work out their immense differences. However, I promise you that if you do follow my advice, you will optimize your chances of getting your ex back. Like I said, over 90% of relationships can be salvaged, but that 10% exists.”

If this is something that interests you, then I highly suggest that you watch Brad’s video here. It’s free, and in it he reveals some little known secrets that most people will never know discover about breakups. He’ll also go over the four deadly mistakes that you could be making right now that are killing your chances of ever getting your ex back. And yes, he will go into more detail about how you to ignore your ex and lure them back into your life.

ex factor guide player

About Jessica Raymond

Jessica Raymond, BSc, RCC, is LoveLearnings senior editor. As a relationship counselor, Jessica has helped hundreds of men and women achieve their relationship dreams. Whether it’s finding your one true love or simply charming someone on a date, Jessica's got your back! In her articles, she reveals little-known, psychological tips that will make even the coldest person chase you around like a little puppy.
375 replies
  1. Stephanie Brown
    Stephanie Brown says:

    Hi Brad
    I have had two relationships in the past of which both cheated on me. Because my partner turned his phone on silent,and seemed to be continually whattsapping, and when our relationship had just started I saw photos sent by an ex I have always been concerned that he was cheating too! He said he wanted to move on after I questioned him one day ( which has been many occaisions) I also found out that his daughter didn’t want meto go to her wedding I was so upset that I packed and walked out.I have been and stayed with him twice in the last 3 months (we also run a business together) and he told me he wanted me, told me I was the sexiest woman he’d met and we were intimate in a way that he’d never shown before. I am really struggling without him although we converse and text every day and every night! I have been a fool, have said and done stupid things. I know he is not seeing anyone and tells me constantly where he’s going and who i
    he is with, he says he cares for me and needs to know I am ok. I am having to go back in two weeks to end our business relationship which he knows I want to keep going and has said he will continue it if I can do all the paperwork remotely. How do I turn this round, how do I win him back? I have read your 30 no contact but while we have a business together it is impossible
    Please help with some advice, my heart is breaking and I wish I never walked out.

    Reply
  2. Daniel Barker
    Daniel Barker says:

    Hi Brad, just watched your video and it sounds good but I have a feeling I am too far along the process already. Basically, my girlfriend (of 7 years) went to Australia for 6 weeks and slept with another guy on 3 occasions whilst she was over there. What was worse was I had been due to fly out part way through her time there and us continue the holiday after she finished working but she convinced me not to. When she came back she acted like nothing had happened. Then I found pictures of the 2 of them kissing together on her laptop (having suspected) and she came clean. I kicked her out obviously. My issue is I am not sure I want to be back with her. We still meet up and have sex, kiss and cuddle. We are at the stage of seeing each other every other day but she is an emotional rollercoaster of guilt and hurt. Yet she said it happened because she no longer wanted us to be together. Yet now says she wants us to get back together in the future. It’s interesting though because for the first couple of weeks we didn’t speak. Then she wanted to see each other repeatedly. But I wondered, does any part of your programme cover what to do if you are unsure? What I mean is, it’s not clear cut if I want her back or if it would work because I always trusted her implicitly and now I don’t and maybe never could. I am 2 months in already and still can’t decide. It is driving me insane thinking about it endlessly. I hope you can take the time to respond. And good work on mending and reconciling the relationships of people that know for sure. Best wishes, Dan.

    Reply
  3. Blake Carroll
    Blake Carroll says:

    Hi Brad,

    I was in an interracial relationship for the last eight months. For the most part, it was a very significant relationship, as she and I seriously discussed marriage and even tried getting pregnant for few months. Nevertheless, the relationship became rather troublesome the last three months and we got into several fights—one in which I called her a “black bitch” and “little black girl.” Obviously, I didn’t mean those words at all and spoke them in anger—not as a racist. Needless to say, she finally dumped me, as she stated she would never be able to get past those remarks. On the other hand, I honestly believe she’s still in love with me.

    At the moment, I want to get your professional advice and counsel. Understand that I began your “no contact” approach this morning after sending a quick apology text and telling her if “you ever change your mind you can let me know.” I’ve not heard a word from her since then. Nevertheless, here is my question—she and I were scheduled to begin couples therapy on July 11th. As a result, do you feel I should still employ the “no contact” strategy even if she decides she wants to give couples therapy a try and communicates that to me in the next few days?

    I trust I will hear from you soon. Meanwhile, keep up the good work!

    My best,
    Blake Carroll

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! Since you’ve agreed on a set date to go to couples therapy, then I assume you aren’t really broken up yet? If so, then yes, go together, especially if you’ve agreed to it in the first place. Do a quick follow up with her if she’s going and proceed from there. Take care!

      Reply
  4. Florin
    Florin says:

    I went with a girl for 5 years, She was lost to her parents 9 months ago. And 3 months ago we are quit relations… After we got caught in the word, At one point I mentioned her mother…. And from that moment everything changed. She blocked me at FB, blocked my phone number, Has tried my mom to talk to her, They met together but did not work, I tried to apologize, I called the phone by friends, we talked about 6 minutes 2 times, she refused and offended Me. I tried to meet him directly, But has refused me nonstop, I tried to communicate with her brother, He met me very well, But after 2 days she sent me an email and told me not to stir humans, And threatened to call the police, And in the email it says that there is a desire for me to do my lord for what I did! . She has not given me a sign, She keeps a picture with me at FB, I do not know if it keeps or forgets it. According to what I saw in your videos, I’ve been wrong with the steps I did at first!!! Please tells me if there is hope in this case because we have been in love and the relationship has worked very well.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey, Florin! Don’t beat yourself up over it as these mistakes are very common and you’re not alone. However, it’s time to move forward from those mistakes and don’t repeat it If you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on this website and answer as honestly as possible. Okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  5. Ben
    Ben says:

    Hi brad My girlfriend broke up with me on Wednesday and I want her back. We were going through a bit of a rocky patch and about 4 weeks ago I ended up going through her phone when I promised I never would at the start of the relationship. Which is 18 months. And then I denied doing it. I know I shouldn’t of. Reason I went through her phone was a lad from her work had text her saying hey gorgeous and I asked her about it and she said he does it all the time and she doesn’t message him back hardly it’s nothing he’s like it with everyone. And I excepted it but it played on my mind so I checked and she was telling the truth she doesn’t reply hardly maybe once a week. Last Saturday we talked about it as we were not really spending time together maybe twice in the 2 weeks that followed this, and she said she needed space and time to think so could we not see each other for a week until we go away to hickstead for the weekend for the showjumping. I agreed and gave her the space and I had said to her I’m only going to text you every morning saying I love you and that is it and she said that’s fine. She messaged me first most days and text me all day everyday acting like we were going to get through it. We went away and got back Sunday night everything felt like it was moving in the right direction and on Monday when I text to see how she was she was just really off with me all day picking fights and said she’s not sure if she can do this anymore so I said to her I’m not going to speak to her until she speaks to me and I didn’t I sent her a im sorry card and a me to you teddy bear to her work they arrived on Wednesday and she bit my head off and by tea time she had ended it. I never messaged her at all on Thursday as I am heartbroken and I cannot stop crying. Yet she messaged me around 4 saying hope you are ok and she still cares about me. But she has enjoyed her time being alone for the last few weeks. I really want her back please can you advise

    Reply
  6. smruthi
    smruthi says:

    hi Brad,
    I’m smruthi. well i was in a relationship for like 10 months and ex has been on and off jus few months before breaking up. It was hard but i never really begged him to take me back but i told i lost the respect i had for him.And i also told whatever he does and how much ever he avoids me wont affect me anymore. And i started following the no contact rule.. In the first week he gave me a letter telling he din avoid me and he said he was sorry and to not consider him like other guys. I din reply to the letter immediately but few days later i replied and told i jus told him about a conversation that hurt me. He told he din intend it for me. i told its ok. But after reading your letter i felt like ur jus like the other guys. and i din contact him after that. But then a week after that he started texting i’m feeling the heat of your ignorance. so i told him i just want some time for myself. Few days later he went crazy and started texting “i cant look at your eyes, i feel guilty. I don’t expect a reply from u. you wanted to be with yourself right continue with it”. After texting this he exit all groups.He never acted like this before so I jus went ahead asked him to talk. He started confessing the same thing again. and then after sometime he was totally fine. And then i found myself getting hurt again coz of words he was saying. i told him i cant be with him as a friend. And he assumed i would be normal like usual. But i jus stopped talking after that. 3 weeks i maintained no contact. But on third week there was some issue in our workplace and he was held responsible( although he wasnt). I din want to break the no contact rule but i couldnt resist myself.So that day i went ahead and asked him what happened and if he was ok. After that i could feel him avoiding me.. what should i do now ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      If your ex has been contacting you ever since you’ve dropped contact, then this means the “no contact” method is starting to do its charm. Watch this: How to Tell If No Contact Is Working. Anyway try to stick to the “no contact” rule this time. A situation with an ex is often fragile, so you’d really want to omit, if not minimize these mistakes. It’s one step forward, two steps backward with an ex & there are no unlimited chances with them, so if you can do it right moving forward, then do so. Check out my guide so you won’t end up making the same mistakes. Good luck!

      Reply
  7. Maegan Jordan
    Maegan Jordan says:

    Hi Brad, so here’s my situation. My ex and I have had the greatest 6 month relationship in my eyes. Where in fact we did talk about having a future together and get engaged later this year or next. But my ex and I recently broke up the end of May. It has been a few weeks since then. But after the break up, he remained in contact with me from time to time until June 8th when I went to go pick up my stuff. He told me that day he did not want me in his life anymore and that we should not talk. He since then blocked me on some social media platforms, but not all. I haven’t talked to him since the day I picked up my stuff. Will the “no contact” still work for me to help bring him back or is all hope gone for me? Can’t wait to hear from you! Even if it is good or bad! Thank you!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there, Maegan! I suggest to give it a shot because your best bet is still to employ the 30-day rule and yes, it will work in a sense where you BOTH will get to clear your mind to be in a better position to deal with each other when the time comes — instead of letting emotions overrule everything, risking things to get blown out of proportion even further. Makes sense? But will no contact ALONE work to get your ex back? Sometimes it does, but other times (especially if your situation is unique) it’s not, because the no contact phase is only part one of the three-step process I teach in my Ex Factor Guide. Learn the basics here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup). I also made a quick vid to those who are seemingly lost and could use a reminder on what to do: Want Your Ex Back? Stop Thinking About Them! (Psychological Warfare). Good luck!

      Reply
  8. Jess
    Jess says:

    BRAD PLEASE HELP, me and my ex were dating for 5 months before we broke up. He was the one who decided to do it. I loved him very much and would take him back no matter what. A week after the breakup I talked to him for the first time and we got into another argument and fight, from then on I have not talked to him and it has been around 2 weeks. Did i ruin my chances of getting him back. Please help!!!!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Jess! I’m not sugarcoat, so I have to tell you that that petty argument had chipped away at your chance but if it was just that one time, then the damage may be a little less compared to if you hadn’t stopped contacting him. Watch this: 5 Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back. So moving forward, employ the 30-day rule first, okay? However, if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  9. Sam
    Sam says:

    Thank you so much, Brad! I have a question though. I believe it is an IMPORTANT one that challenges your advice. But before I ask, I should give an introduction to the situation. It’s been 10 days since our breakup. We’ve been in contact through facebook since then, but now I am thinking of shutting down all of our communication, which will mean that I’ve moved to the first NO CONTACT stage. However, I am not sure if this will work because the purpose of NO CONTACT is to make the partner miss you. The problem is that she has recently found a new job (not because of breakup), and she will start doing that. It’s a job that involves meeting new people and traveling around the country. So if I don’t contact her, then she will easily forget me, I think, because she will have so many distractions during the following month. So she will not be missing me. Can you please help? (We’d been together for 1.5 years in a passionate relationship). Thank you in advance!

    Reply
    • Sam
      Sam says:

      Also, I have already asked her to stay friends and we’ve been so for the last 10 days. I wish I had stumbled upon you earlier. How can I transition to the No Contact stage now if I have already begged her to be with me and then asked her to be friends with me? Or should I start NC in the first place?

      THANK YOU!

      Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey there, Sam! If there hasn’t been a breakup, then indeed contact her, man. There’s no need to go through all these phases if she hasn’t even dumped you but has just been caught up with work. It’s a bit confusing though, because you mentioned it’s been 10 days or so since the breakup… does that mean you’ve ended the relationship? Just to re-iterate, if there’s been a breakup, then you really ought to give each other space first for at least 30 days. Watch this: Will Your Ex Forget About You During No Contact? If you still need my help further on this, however, then you and I both ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Check on availability first because I only have a limited number of clients I can realistically manage before I go into spontaneous combustion. 🙂

      Reply
      • Sam
        Sam says:

        Thank you for the reply!

        We DID break up, but since then we’ve been interacting as ‘friends’ for the last 2 weeks. Now I think I should start NC, but will it be effective because the purpose of it is to suddenly make her miss me, but the thing is since the break up, I’ve been fading away slowly. First few days we were talking a lot, then less and less. So now if I do NC, it will not be something abrupt, but the continuation of the fading away, and it won’t work, I am afraid.

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          Being friends right away won’t work. I still suggest to give it a shot because your best bet is still to employ the 30-day rule and yes, it will work in a sense where you BOTH will get to clear your mind to be in a better position to deal with each other when the time comes — instead of letting emotions overrule everything, risking things to get blown out of proportion even further. Makes sense? But will no contact ALONE work to get your ex back? Sometimes it does, but other times (especially if your situation is unique) it’s not, because the no contact phase is only part one of the three-step process I teach in my Ex Factor Guide. Learn the basics here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) I also made a quick vid to those who are seemingly lost and could use a reminder on what to do: Want Your Ex Back? Stop Thinking About Them! (Psychological Warfare). Good luck!

          Reply
  10. Sopia
    Sopia says:

    Hi Brad,

    I am on my 19th day of NC.But before starting this off we did talk about the last time we had an argument.He says that I need to understand our situation but then I don’t want to be hurt again.I told him that after that day (tomorrow is his birthday) I will not bother him anymore and that I will change my numbers and block him off on FB.I told him that I know he will be happy and will not regret not having me around for good.So to speak I started NC on his birthday.After 3 days he did contact me by email wherein he said “Hi,How are you?Im missing you always.” with a sad face and ended it like that.I have muster all the strength to not respond and so I ignored him until this day.But why is it he doesn’t contact me after that one?Is he respecting my decision or is he waiting for me because he is scared?Should I continue in 30 days or extend? By the way I feel better now and was successful with the NC but honestly I wanted him to beg on me so that I will know that after this I will know exactly my place.

    Thank you!

    Reply
    • Sopia
      Sopia says:

      I have read that it takes 21 days to make a habit.What if in 21 days he will have a habit of not having me in his life now after conversing almost everyday for 4 years.

      Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      The thing with exes, especially the one whose idea is to break the relationship, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch and you best not respond unless it’s about something important. Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You. Good luck!

      Reply
  11. Franziska
    Franziska says:

    Hey Brad,

    I’ve read your Guide and am convinced to try what you said. My situation is bad actually. I’ve started something with my best friend of ten years. Ever since october we’ve been together every single day and in January this came to be more than just friendship. It felt perfect and beautiful and went on until March. In March I’ve dared to ask him where I am standing. But instead of answering anything (I’ve even told him at some point he should say no then but at least make a statement) he never really answered. Instead he told me it’s been awesome and intense and beautiful and he’s never felt anything like that with anyone else (even his ex) and he thinks we fit 100%. But then he started screaming at me, accusing me of creating pressure and telling me really mean things like I’d do this with anyone anyway or I’ve only been waiting for this for 10 years and he could have had it a lot earlier if he’d wanted to.
    After that he said he never wanted to see me again but continued texting me every day. If I replied he said I was getting too close. If I ignored him he said I was just offended. I asked him what I could say then…he ignored it. I got a lot of messages that needed a reply like “I’ve had an accident” and the like but when I answered he always turned it around like “it’s nothing.”
    Then he suddenly wanted to meet again but only to talk about senseless stuff or his problems, asking my opinion and the like. Then i got phone calls like “I’ve wanted to clear a lot of things but not now..:” next time it would be “Everything’s normal to me!”
    Two weeks ago I got the last message. He asked me how I’ve been since he thought of me quite often. He said then I sounded sad and he didn’t like it at all…But ever since nothing at all happened. I haven’t contacted him in 2 weeks now but it seems he’s given up too… What do you think?
    Again, I’ve read your Guide and am willing to try this. I just can’t explain to myself why he acts like that suddenly since nothing bad had happened between us. It started with that simple question I asked.
    Was my main mistake to ask that? Or to tell him I didn’t get it?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Give him space to give him a chance to get his head straight. If your ex continually message you, then it’s important to put your ex’s messages into context, especially if this happened during the “no contact” phase. Is your ex trying to contact you about something really important, like an emergency, unpaid bills, or something equally urgent? If not, and your ex is really just texting some useless random stuff and/or asses his/her power over you, then you can just ignore and continue on with the 30-day “no contact” rule. Use your discretion. Watch and follow the tips here: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts and Phone Calls (And Win Them Back).

      Reply
  12. Brian
    Brian says:

    Hi Brad,

    My Ex contacted me on the 6th day of no contact about some money that she owe and i need to give her the tickets. I didn’t answer and a couple of hours later she responded angrier, saying to grow some balls and that she wont keep chasing me about the tickets and i should stop playing interesting about no answering her like i have some shit to get done. also saying that i have no manners. I’m doing the no contact to better myself and also see the possibilty with being with her again. but she seems angry that i didn’t answer what should i do??

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      She does get mad since she obviously needs to have those tickets, man. The “no contact” rule is the right route. However, watch this first to help you out: When Is It Bad To Ignore Your Ex? Exceptions To The ‘No Contact’ Rule. Anyway you’re not obligated to respond right away, so tell your ex you’ve been busy… and it really helps if you are. So take steps to rebuild your life first. Hang out with friends, family, get a new hobby, join a club, etc. to keep your mind off of things and to process the breakup accordingly and heal. It’s all about balance! Take care!

      Reply
  13. Anthony E
    Anthony E says:

    I went on a military trip and my girlfriend started getting angry at me over her email account, at the end of the text she said she had mostly moved out. I came home and she was pretty much moved out minus a few things which she picked up while I was at work, she also cleaned her bathroom and mowed the grass cleaned the flower beds out. So far she hasn’t returned the car keys for the car I let her use and I have not received the house keys. I am not sure I want her back even though I was dumped she was flighty at the end spending more time with others and putting me dead last we had lost our intimacy. What had led up to this was back in October she saw the writing on the wall that her job was going to lay her off, then in January they gave her a year to find a new job. She was extremely overwhelmed she had been at her job for 19 years and no matter how much comfort I gave or reassurance it seemed to push us far apart. So since October she has spent every day she was off looking for a job or helping everyone else out but me so I guess I saw it was coming. I was sad and depressed, I tried to talk with her over the past 6 months but we just drifted away. She had also started drinking even heavier she has a drinking problem and she had almost killed her self and her liver once before. I knew she was destroying both of us and I also realized she was not ever going to commit to me and it was pointless to try, I really had wanted her to move closer to my work and start over and she never liked the idea instead looking for work closer to her parents. I am currently in my no contact period getting my mind straight and getting my life in order, I need to move closer to work and work on getting back into shape. I am using your program mainly to get over her because it hurts a lot especially since she moved out in the middle of the night and with only saying she was tired, wanting to go on in life alone and she was overwhelmed at everyone being messy the animals and me. I had stepped up my game trying to be cleaner but she was living rent free and not paying anything other than food for the house. Thanks for your program, but do you think it is even worth trying to get her back. Even though I love her dearly and want us to be happy when the red flags of not wanting to commit is that great will it ever work out? I know each case is different but in your experience is it worth it or is there something bigger than what she is saying.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Anthony! Sorry to hear about what happened, but yes, continue to work on yourself and focus on your own life. The best person who can answer whether you should get her back or not… is you. Take your time in coming up with this decision and don’t be hasty, that’s what matters most. That there’d be no regrets in the end, okay? Weigh out the positives and negatives as well as how much you’re willing to put up. Basically it’s her and you versus the problem. Is the problem that big that you’d want to give up, too? If you already have the guide, follow it down to a tee. Just understand that it takes time and there’s no rushing it. Good luck!

      Reply
  14. Bernhard
    Bernhard says:

    Hello Brad,

    I was in a long distance relationship for 18 months, we always saw each other for 3months, 2-3 months apart basically. She was always the one madly in love with me, I on the other side was never 100 % committed and was always open and told her about it.

    3 month ago she stopped texting me on a daily basis (I was back home and we were already 1 month apart). She stopped texting me for a awhole week, it asked her whats wrong but she evaded me and it took another 3 weeks to tell me, that she cant live in fear that I leave her for another every day and I am not ready for a relationsship. We talked about it via Skype, and I told her that I love her and wanted to fully commit and give her some time to think about it. After 3 weeks she told me it would just be the same and I am not ready, so we kinda broke up mutally without any drama.

    2 weeks later a flew over meeting some friends there, with the intention to also talk to her to get some closure. She didnt want to me up and after some texting she told me that she has fallen for a new guy for about a month that loves her dearly and does everything for her (basically all the security I have never given her). Then I totally got out of my role in the relationship and started to beg her, she was crying heavy but said she cant because she doesnot love me anymore.

    I told her I accepted her decission, and that I wanted to meet up in person to say goodbye. I bought her some roses to thank her for and appreciated our great time together, and if she every changes her mind she should text me up, because I was seriously what I told her a 6 weeks prior that I wanted to commit. Do you have any advice for this situation, it would be highly appreciated.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man! Sorry to hear that. If you haven’t done what you said you’ll do, then it’s best to keep it that day. Doing those things will only alienate your ex. Re-orient yourself with the facts here, first: 5 Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back. In the meantime, I suggest you get busy with a lot of stuff like hobbies, work, etc. focus on what makes you feel good and take time to heal as well. Also read my Ex Factor Guide, which covers commonly possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether.Good luck!

      Reply
      • Beck
        Beck says:

        Couldn’t find the button to post a new comment sorry lmao. But my ex dumped me last week because of distance and it sucked I tried to ask why and persuade just a bit before agreeing now I’m on nc after texting the day after and she just texted me with a link. Do I watch whatever it is and reply or ignore for NC ? Ik she’s probably just stressed about the distance I haven’t seen her in about a year I was planning on surprising her before the split 👌🏻

        Reply
  15. Linda
    Linda says:

    I experienced allthe above in a long distance relationship that was leading to a title and him constantly asking me how do i feel about him. I finally expressed my feelings after feeling bad and two months later, I did everything from you’re losing interest blog and he lost interest and ghost. Do you think we can get back together, if so. What can I do. He’s 8 hours away.

    Reply
  16. Tedd Domingo
    Tedd Domingo says:

    Hi Brad, I broke up with my ex 8 months ago, we dated for 5 months everything was great but I started having some issues at work and she felt I wasn’t giving her the time that she needed, I decided to focus on my work after the breakup and didn’t do any attempt to get her back, after the 8 months I realized that it was a huge mistake and decided to pursue her, she told me she was dating some else so I backed off, then after 2 weeks I send her a message and she told me she was single again, So I started pursuing her again and after 2 weeks she told me she dint wanted to be with me and that she had resentment towards me because I took too much time after the break up and that she was interested in other men, I waited a week and send her roses and a letter saying I was sorry and that I wanted another chance but I understood her so I was going to move on, then after two weeks I decided to pursue her again, I cooked some muffins for her and send her some gifts for 3 weeks, At first she responded great but as I continued she started to pull away, I felt I was maybe being to needy and clingy, so I gave her one last gift and told her that that was the end for me trying to get her back, she told me thanks for everything, and that was it, its been a week since that, I haven’t spoken to her since then, but i really feel that she is the one for me and I want to do everything I can to salvage the relationship, I am trying the no contact rule but I don’t know if this is a good situation to use it or should I do something different. I feel she has some small feelings for me but she is afraid i m going to do the same thing and she might be confused because sometimes she answers me good and sometimes she didn’t answer me at all.

    Sorry for the English, it’s my second language, help please !

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Tedd! You ought to pursue her more subtly than that. Those techniques you’ve done will only backfire as time goes by, as she’ll be pissed eventually. Since she’s receptive to your contact, then that’s at least good. How you proceed depends on a lot of things. I need some more background first though, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

      Reply
  17. Prasanna Patil
    Prasanna Patil says:

    Hello Brad,
    My ex just broke up with me, we were dating for 9 months. She said she doesn’t feel the same way and doesn’t want to be unfair on me. She was really nice and respectful to me while breaking up. We never had fought or argued in our time together, got along really well. She wants me to be her friend forever and have been asking me how I am doing to see if I am okay since breakup, we broke up a week ago. I am not sure if I should reply her. I don’t want to be rude to her either. I feel she is a genuine girl as she cares for me still. Please advise what I should do. Thanks.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! Sorry to hear that. You can give her a quick response after a few hours when she initially texted. But try NOT to make it a habit, especially if she keeps asking the same question and basically just checking in on you. The thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch and you best not respond unless it’s about something important. Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You.

      Reply
  18. venkatesh
    venkatesh says:

    Hi chris
    i am having a problem with my ex girlfriend.she loved & dated me for 3 years but i ignored her. after 3 years she is not untested as i have not shown any love.i am scared that she will not be in my life i started convenience her but she not interested i did every thing begging telling future with my ,every time i call she says i am not getting any feeling for u what to do i cant give u other chance she is so rood,she cry when ever i call her,she is not ready to lessen what i want to say its more then 8 Mon .she says i cant live with u without love i am interested in someone else so please leave me lets be normal don’t call me.things are going wares day by day last month she told me give no contact for 1 Mon time to think but after 1 Mon she says i tried but i feel nothing so please leave my.man i need her in my life please suggest me how to Handel.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi! Who’s Chris? 🙂 Don’t expect to get your ex back if all you do is beg or plead. This simply wouldn’t work and even if it does, getting your ex to take you back out of pity will only ensure another breakup in the future. So at this point, try to do some damage control, all right? Depending on the damage done, it may or may not be too late…but don’t make the same mistakes! On the flip side, however, you could just be overreacting, especially with all the stuff that’s been going on… so don’t be so hard on yourself. Most people are guilty of this at some point. So if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  19. Sally
    Sally says:

    Hi Brad. My boyfriend left me 7 days ago and had been in touch daily to see how I was doing. We lived together so I’ve seen him a few times also. He acts like nothing has changed still wants to sit down and chat. We never really argued in our relationship or break up. I tried one day of no contact and I received 3 text messages and a phone call. I answered one message as I felt rude and he was offering to buy me something, I assume out of guilt. I know him and he’s the type just to get mad and move on from me ignoring him. I don’t want him to buy me anything but I don’t know if I should reply. Should I answer himy or start the no contact. I’m not sure it will work for me. I haven’t heard from him since.

    Reply
  20. Amanda
    Amanda says:

    Hi Brad,

    I would like to ask for some advice. My girlfriend and I broke up 5 days ago, it was a very understanding and overall good break-up, nobody got angry and we both tried to really understand each other. We live together so we still cuddled throughout the night and it was very hard for us to separate in the morning. I left our house to sleep somewhere else for the rest of the week, because I needed some space and couldn’t stand being in our house. I almost immediately initiated the no contact period, without telling her I wouldn’t be contacting her. 2 days in the no contact period she texted me saying; Hey, how are you doing? – I didn’t reply yet, it’s already been 24 hours. I’m a bit conflicted now, do I have to reply to her or not? I already bought the book and read all of it tonight, I know you say it’s okay to reply in this case, but because it’s already been 24 hours should I still do it? And if so, what should I say? Thanks for the reply!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      If your ex continually message you, then it’s important to put your ex’s messages into context, especially if this happened during the “no contact” phase. Is your ex trying to contact you about something really important, like an emergency, unpaid bills, or something equally urgent? If not, and your ex is really just texting some useless random stuff and/or asses his/her power over you, then you can just ignore and continue on with the 30-day “no contact” rule. Use your discretion. Watch and use the tips here as a reference to the guide: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts and Phone Calls (And Win Them Back). Good luck!

      Reply
  21. Iouise
    Iouise says:

    Hi Brad,
    My boyfriend and I break up 2 weeks ago but we still chat daily for the first week, until i draw the clear lines.
    We have been together for almost 5 years and sometimes a long distance relationship (study in different places but meet up during semester break (1-2months)). Since he went for a student exchange program in other countries, it is hard to text or call with the time difference. I was pretty insecure and jealous when he mix around with girls.
    Often, we had some argument and things dint go well and he pop out with the break up thing but saying he still loves me and wanted to be with me but not right now. We need some space for self improvement and stuff.
    I’m now trying the no contact period (4days) but sometimes still cant help myself looking for his stuff. He’s ignoring me (even we online at the same time) and i got the feeling he is hiding things from me for i dont know what reasons….
    2days after no contact period, I found out that he was really close with a girl and was flirting with her asking her interested to get a boyfriend and stuff…. I was really heart broken because I thought there was a hope for us to be back together when he’s back.
    I’m so lost and wondering is he still loving me or should i give up?
    I really want him back because I still loves him.

    Thanks.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Louise! Give yourselves the time and space you both need first. It’s still important to put the “no contact” rule into priority because if you’ve been in touch after the breakup too soon, then you BOTH aren’t taking the time to process the breakup and been acting like it hadn’t happened. Burying the problems which had caused the breakup in the first place is the first step towards a doomed relationship. Make sense now? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  22. Johnny
    Johnny says:

    My problem is…..We work in a same company/office!
    We break up 6 weeks ago, she already has a new boyfriend now (which is her friend before, they known each others long time ago (6 years) since studying at college. The boy chased her before (6 years ago), but my ex rejected him at that time. After that, they became a friend.

    The boy worked in other country after graduate and quit his job at the end of 2016. After a 1.5 year haven’t see each other (but still keep contact as a best-friend), they met again and hang out frequently in Jan 2017.
    At the end of Jan, my ex-girlfriend wants to break up with me, and said she has some “special love feeling” towards this boy. At the Beginning of Feb, they been together (before Valentine day).
    ———————————————-

    My ex are 24 yrs old, and I am 8 years older than her.
    She is a emotional and forthrightness girl, and always has negative thought and confused mind, a little bit childish and headstrong (but i still love her).

    We work in the same company/office (we are colleague), but we seldom work together, since we are in different department, and handling different field. But we can still see each others everyday (Mon to Fri) since our office is not big.

    She still trying to remain friend with me, and keep chat with me like a “close friend”.
    She sometimes ask for my comment/opinion about her job or life.
    I never contact her proactively, but she often called me by internal phone in office (or sometime send text message), and sometimes ask me to go out for lunch with her. She keeping contact me on working days/working hour, but never contact me at the weekend (she hang out with his new boyfriend at the weekend).

    How do i apply “no contact rule”? I can’t avoid to pick up the phone call in office, but She is emotional and headstrong person. If she feel that I go cold and obviously ignoring her, she will choose to leave far away from me and will never talk to me again in the future.

    Reply
  23. taulant
    taulant says:

    Hello Brad,I breakup with my girlfriend like 1 month ago because I cheated on her and we are not talking like for a month but she text me like 2 times but no more I wonder if she wants me
    Again or not she blocked me in all social
    Media but not in her phone number but also 1 or 2 week ago she closed her facebook and insta account andi wonder whyy,is this a bad or god?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Blocking you could be her means of coping to what you’ve done, so try not to panic. Watch and follow the tips here the best you can: How to Get Your Ex Back If You Cheated on Them. Being patient here as know as pulling all the right moves are essential to winning her back. If you still need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  24. Tara
    Tara says:

    Hi Brad! I was with my ex 10 months distance relationship,we had arguments but loved each other,I was generally a bit suspicious about him cause in the begining he wasnt sure if this would work.Last 2 months before break up I moved to visit him and lived together,I used the situation after arguments to tell me its over because of my arguments and he isnt sure is it possible to countinue like this on a distance cause he hasnt a good job and he is scared about future.He is 25,I am 29 and he told me that he wants no obligation and be alone and few days before break up talking about our future.I didnt see your videos earlier about no contact and ofcourse I made a mistake and beg him for another chance,last time we spoke on Skype few days ago and he told me that he will call me to speak but it didnt mean that we are together just something like friends,from him I know that he miss me although he told me when he dumped me that he doesnt love me,What should I do now when he calls? Thanks a lot.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Definitely give him time to let him get over the negativity of the situation first — not necessarily the relationship. Give him space and he’ll miss you and will naturally calm down as well. Watch this: How to Make Your Ex Miss You and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential! Check it out. Good luck!

      Reply
  25. Alan
    Alan says:

    Hello Brad! i need tips on what to do. MY girlfriend and i have been dating for two years she is 19 i am 17 and we were planning on moving out together soon. I started getting insecure jelous controlling pretty much all of the no no’s and she lost interest in me and broke up with me 4 days ago. Even when she broke up with me she was sobbing and couldn’t even say the words, i cried hysterically and begged her to not leave me and she said she just wanted to be best friends. The next day i called her like 3 times in the morning. That night she came over and scratched my back and cuddled. The whole next day i didn’t text her once until she texted me first and said she wanted to hang out that night and she said she loved me. I said it back and agreed to hang out. The morning i called her we made plans to hang out in two days then a two days later i would go to her house then a week later we were going to go to a show together then 10 days after that she wants me to come to her birthday dinner with her family and the next day take her on a birthday date. I know for a fact she is hanging out with a lot of guys and i am acting really good about it but it still hurts. i bought the ex factor and it said the no contact 31 day rule but its a difficult situation because i feel like i cant just not talk to her when she is expecting me to do all of these things. Also i am afraid that me just ignoring her will drive her away farther and i cant handle that. Please give me reassurance what to do. I will do anything to get her back

    Reply
  26. Stefan
    Stefan says:

    Hey Brad! I really need your advise. I had a boyfriend (I am boy, 21 years old, he is 19) and about a month ago I decided to split up after 18 months of relationship. The reason was that I was unfaithful to him but I told him (I had dating apps and he knew that) – our relationship had faded and that’s why I thought it would have been better to break up.

    We had loads of exams, so we were very stressed and especially I behaved under heavy pressure. He was all the time typing and calling me and then he stopped and I realized that I actually do love him. Really. Then we met and we had accidentally a wild sex and he told me he had sex with two guys as well. I started to feel desperate and cried. After a few days I gave him a bunch of flowers and said sorry for everything. He told me he likes me, but doesn’t love me because of what I did. I offered him to have a relationship again, but he refused.

    It has been a week I realized it and 4 weeks we split up. In 3 days we are going to the theatre together… Shall I cancel it? Yesterday he told me again that he likes me… I found out that he had more guys. I don’t mind now.. that much. What would you recommend me to do? I know I made several essential mistakes…
    Thank you for your great and motivating videos and for your reply. Regards, Stefan.

    P. S. I started to workout – in one week I made a really good progress, I study harder, I socialize and he knows that and likes it… Because all the time he wanted to change me to behave like this…

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Stefan! Sorry to hear it. Never attempt to talk your way back into a relationship with an ex though. That just wouldn’t work. Here, watch this: How to Not Win Your Ex Back. Take your time in working stuff out for yourself. As for showing these changes, here are some guidelines: How to Show Your Ex You’ve Changed. If you still need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

      Reply
  27. Erin
    Erin says:

    Hi Brad! My boyfriend broke up with me just over a week ago. His reasons were silly and I am really confused. We were together for a year and a half and he suddenly out of the blue broke it off with me. We stayed in contact for a week after the breakup and then I found out about the no conatact rule, the thing is I met up with him on friday to “talk things over” which only changed his mind for a little while and then the negative emotions came back. Ever since then I haven’t spoke with him but I let him know that I needed space! I am scared I handled it wrong and he won’t miss me! I really miss him so much and I really want the man of my dreams back in my life. I scored 71 in the love test. Please help.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Erin! Sorry to hear about the breakup. I hear you. Breakup “excuses” are exactly that, excuses. Don’t attempt to try to talk your way back into a relationship with him though, that would never work. Follow the tips here first: How Not to Win Your Ex Back. For now, give him time in order to get to what I call an “emotional neutral” okay? Don’t rush it. In the mean time, try to see the roles that you’ve BOTH played that led to the breakup. From there you can see whether there’s a real chance to fix things or not. Good luck!

      Reply
  28. Magda
    Magda says:

    Hi Brad! Me and my boyfriend broke up in November after more than 2 years. I just started my internship in his country (it was a long distance relationship) so I moved with him. We had a lot of fights as I was very busy and tired because of my work and all he wanted to do was partying at the weekends. I was so angry… one day he made a party where he was hugging another girl. It didn’t look so innocent like hugging a friend. So I started a fight … again. The day after he said he doesn’t see any future. We just fight, I’m always jealous and I don’t want him to be happy because I didn’t allow him to meet his friends (of course in my opinion it’s not true I was alone in a new county so I wanted more attention ). To make it worse I had to finish my work so we lived together for 2 months after the break up. He was acting like nothing happend. Hugging kissing etc. When I was coming back to my country he said he loved and he would come to visit me. I’m trying to not speak with him however because of some paper work from his country I need his help. All we talk about is that. It’s been 1,5 month since I left. I would like to start talking to him about causal things but I don’t know how. Also do you think there is any chance to get back together? Greetings

    Reply
  29. keerthi
    keerthi says:

    Hi brad..iam from india……and i brokeup with ma girlfriend a few days ago..the reason for breakup…..she felt like iam pressurizing her to some point…and finally she left me few days ago….just a before a day…she breakup with….and she is moving on now…she was in madly love with me before breakup…..and now she took her final desicion to move on….she already have been in such kind of situation before…..so she never give a second chance to anyone….she is so strong in her desicion…….and that cant b changed ever……

    So help me out …brad to get my exback…forever….after break up….i pleaded for one r two days…..we were great togther before 2 to 3 months ago……n jzz after a month…..she breakup with me finally…….
    I want your help ….brad….text me few tips to get hr….back….and how long should be i no contact with her……she is in so far distance from me…….before the breakup…and now too……

    Reply
  30. Marcy
    Marcy says:

    Hi Brad, so a couple of days ago my boyfriend of almost 5 years went through my phone without my permission. I was texting the guy i cheated on him with two and a half years ago, but the problem was that i wasn’t trying to talk this man or hook up with him; i was simply trying to set him up with my roommate; who happened to stumble across him on tinder. My roommate was very timid and shy to contact him first, and desperately asked me if i could start the conversation for her and hook them up after telling her that i knew him. My boyfriend saw the texts and got the wrong idea, he thought the girl i was referring to was myself. But i truly was trying to help out a friend. I know i had no business texting the man who caused problems in my relationship in the past, but i was simply trying to help out a friend and i meant no harm. I didn’t think that my boyfriend was going to freak out and break up with me the way he did. We haven’t spoken since the argument, when it happened he stormed out of my apartment without letting me explain myself. He’s the man i want to spend the rest of my life with; this whole thing was just a huge misunderstanding, so i really hope he’ll give me a chance to explain myself. Would applying the no contact rule help this situation? Do you think he’ll try to contact me? or do you think he’s truly done with me and our relationship? HELP!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Marcy! Sorry to hear that. Since it was about something you know would potentially cause trouble in your relationship, granted the history, it would’ve been a better move to tell him about your plan — which is to set this other guy up with your friend and how your friend/roommate is too shy to initiate. Don’t you think that would’ve lessened if not totally prevent the misunderstanding? 🙂 Communication is key. Right now he may be pissed with you though, so try NOT to push it. Watch and follow the tips here: How to Get Your Ex to Forgive You. Good luck!

      Reply
  31. Leah
    Leah says:

    Hi Brad,
    My fiance and I have been on a “break” since New Years Eve, though things were bad since October of this year. Two weeks ago, he took back my engagement ring (under the guise of being nice and getting one of the diamonds replaced), only to not give it back! He says he doesn’t want me out of his life, but he also says he doesn’t see how it can work. He is obsessed with bringing up past fights, many of them petty and insignificant. Whenever I try to have a conversation, he yells. A little background – he and I met over 10 years ago, dated for 3, broke up for 2 or 3 but remained friends. Both of us had serious relationships in between (he FREAKED when I got into mine and as soon as it ended he elbowed his way back into my life). I told him I refused to date him again after all these years. In return, he spent months winning my affections. He wrote me love notes practically daily, bought flowers…the type of stuff you see in movies. Then, he bought me the most incredible ring (same one he just decided to “keep.”) I’m about 5 days into No Contact and he’s sending me texts like, “I want to know how you’re doing. I think about your feelings often.” Do I respond? Keep going with NC? I’m just at a loss with this man.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Leah! Sorry to hear you’re going through this. It seems like your ex fiance is a confused man. What were the issue/s in your relationship that triggered that kind of reaction from him? Make sure to give yourselves time to process what happened. It’s a bad idea to be friends, so I don’t suggest you down that path. Otherwise, it’ll just be history repeating itself. Let him really miss you instead and for him to come around so employ the “no contact” rule for 30 days. Watch this: How to Make Your Ex Miss You. Take care!

      Reply
  32. Irina
    Irina says:

    Hi Brad, me and my boyfriend split a week ago, he has stayed with me for almost 2 years and half. He told me before we split up that its not the same anymore and he does not feel attracted to me like he used to. I been trying this week to be distant and not contact him but he has to vome to get his things from my house as he is renting a place. He said he still thinks about me and then he didn’t texted me. He has that hot cold thing that you have said.
    I wanna stay away from him after he picks up his stuff and try to be distant.
    He has not cheated on me and he said he does not regret meeting me or beeing with its just not how it should be and that he hopes we can be friends. I have never been friends with any ex and wont start now.
    But at the same time I love him and want him back.
    Do you think if I take your advice things will change or do u think it could be too late?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. You’re right, though, it’s a bad idea to be friends. The boundaries won’t be clear and you’re technically both free to date other people. Wouldn’t it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you’re only “friends” now, don’t you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch this video so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”)
      and but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  33. H Mari
    H Mari says:

    Brad, My boyfriend broke up with me 30 days ago. I the 3 first weeks he contacted me every second da y to tell me that he missed me, asked me how I was doing etc. I started the no contact rule right away but a has bee answering him polite but short, and waited a while to answer. I also told him in a nice way that I care for him, but I need some that with no contact. He told me he understood, but kept contacting me. Last week he texted me and told me he thought it was very strange that I answered him som cold, but that he had to get used to that. I answered him that I did ´t answers cold, but distant. And that that´s the way it has to be right now. I hope you are doing well….etc. No he stopped contacting me, I did´t hear from him in a week. No it´s 30 days, and I wonder. I´m I keeping up the no contact for a while, or am I supposed to reach out now?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      He has to feel what it’s like NOT to have you in his life, so go at least a month without having any forms of communication with him, all right? The only time you ought to answer is if he’s reaching out about something truly important. You see, the thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch. Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You. Good luck!

      Reply
      • H Mari
        H Mari says:

        So, I´m now folowing your advice and have ignored his messages. Now he stopped reaching out, so I guess I´m the one reaching out next. After the no contact of course. I was wondering when the no contact is over, do I say something about why I did´t answer him if he askes me about this?

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          Good question! No, don’t bring up the topic unless he asks. If he does, just tell him you’ve been busy and it helps if you really are. But if your ex continues to message you, then it’s important to put your ex’s messages into context, especially if this happened during the “no contact” phase. Is your ex trying to contact you about something really important, like an emergency, unpaid bills, or something equally urgent? If not, and your ex is really just texting some useless random stuff and/or asses his/her power over you, then you can just ignore and continue on with the 30-day “no contact” rule. Use your discretion. Watch and follow the tips here: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts and Phone Calls (And Win Them Back).

          Reply
          • H Mari
            H Mari says:

            ok, so the story goes on. I ignored his massages for 30 days, and now he texted me that he might took the wrong decision, and want´s to meet me. He now texts me almost every day, and we did Skype. He live in a other city, so he want´s to come an stay at my house for a weekend. I know it will be difficult not to have sex with him, so I wonder what to do next…

          • Brad Browning
            Brad Browning says:

            Give him a reason to want to commit to you again, so don’t give away the goods too easily. Watch and follow the tips here: What to Do If Your Ex Wants Sex. If you still need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

  34. CarlosDreamNight
    CarlosDreamNight says:

    Hi, Brad.
    I date 5 years at a distance. She and I spend a lot on this date. Full of dreams. From these 5 years I went to meet her in person. Thereafter that our love became stronger still. There everyday communicated with WEB CAM and love posting on facebook. Only lately I’ve been kind of rude, kind of not caring about her being immature and everything. There was a fight every day. We celebrate our data with her super happy. 2 days later in the discussion she broke up with me. Brava, hurt and determined to follow alone. Ai 2 days after acquiring and I assumed my mistakes. And I asked to go back. She said that I do not want to go back to it now to grow evolve to work and to follow her dreams. Ai asked for a chance she said that ate the end of one day has a chance to return because a chance to return almost does not exist. And she’s been treating me very cold as if she did not even make feelings for me. She can not be friends. Then I told her I’m going to give up. She says that who gives up is why she does not love. If I want to give up all right, then do not come with drama. I asked her is she liking someone. She said no, that is not so. Ask her why she’s treating me so cold. She speaks is nothing. See more about it would treat better. She likes what I put on facebook, before she has almost 24 hours wanting to be with me, now she barely walks in. When I see my life. I started to think it’s her little game with me. What am I supposed to do, Brad?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup, Carlos. If you’ve been in a long distance relationship for five years without ever seeing her in person though, then it be time to start taking steps towards moving on. What’s preventing you two from meeting up in the first place with all this time and chance you had with each other? Giving up is totally up to you, but I suggest you consider the stuff I’ve discussed here: How to Get Your Long Distance Ex Back.

      Reply
  35. Alphonso
    Alphonso says:

    Brad,
    My girlfriend broke up with me on New Years Eve. I didn’t beg and plead but I did initially tell her that it was not what I wanted. For the next several days there was no contact. I didn’t text nor call her. She eventually texted me after about four days because her dad was in the hospital and she was worried. My replies were what I thought were simply supportive without mentioning anything about us. She then began to text me everyday for the next week. The texts were light-hearted and friendly, again with no mention of our relationship. She does some training about twice a month in the school where I teach. She had been texting me for about 3 days at this point. The day she was in my school she brought me a bottle of juiced vegetables because she claimed she was concerned about my health. I thanked her and she and I went about our work days. She seemed okay but I was still struggling over the breakup. During lunch as I was in my car ready to leave she called and asked where I was and what I was doing for lunch. I told her I was in my car and she just came outside, jumped in my car and we went to lunch. Again, it was light-hearted with no mention of our relationship. She continued to text me and asked me to even call her one night. I didn’t know what to think but I hoped we were getting back together. Mind you, I hadn’t initiated any of the contact on any day. She mentioned us possibly meeting for a movie on the following Wednesday. On that day there was no contact. I tried to contact her the next day, which was the first time since our breakup that I had initiated contact. She finally responded at around midnight. I asked her what was going on in her head with regard to us and she informed me she was used to talking to me but still felt it was best for us to not be together. She hasn’t contacted me since nor have I attempted contact. I guess I made the mistake of talking to her as it was helping her over the breakup but it only made it worse for me.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      The thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch. Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You. Good luck!

      Reply
  36. Dante
    Dante says:

    Hey Brad. Im a 40 yr old Man and me and my ex broke up she says three months i say 1 month ago. I want to do the No Contact thing but we have an 8 yr old daughter. I changed my life for our relationship for me and her and my daughter. We were together for 10 yrs. We been through it all, from her dad passing 6 yrs ago to my 32 yr old sister passing from cancer two yrs ago. My ex has MS and diabetes. She was 280+ pounds when we met. She lost 112lbs since then. I am very proud. But We had finance and other problems during. But I loved her dearly. Never cheated and put her on a pedastol. I have been back and forth staying in the house due to no where to go. She doesnt work and is addicted to social media and getting alot of attention from more guys from her weight loss. It went from saying we alot to saying I. I Love her and want my relationship to work. But she seems to want the attetion from others than just me. What do i do when my child is involved. And she sends mixed signals. I think she knows that she has me here. We spent last week having intimate contact and spent christmas and New Years together. But I cant be friends on facebook and I actually have to hide so her “friends” dont know that we still are close and we live together. I dont know what to do cause I am currently searching for counciling and really have been left in a Very depressed state. I have lost my self esteem and pride and confidence over the course of years. I currently lost my job cause of neck and nerve damage. So i am at a really low point. And for her to leave at my lowest. I’ve seen text messeges and snapchats etc to guys say i am a terrible person when in actuality im not.Her mom which is one of my best friends knows that my ex is very unstable. She tells guys she works and takes care of my daughter by herself without me which hurts cause i been there since day one. And i wonder why she condemns me if i dont have the money to take a trip but she doesnt help with bills when she knows she can work. I think the Illnesses are used as a crutch. But what do I do. I am in settle down mode and shes in Im the hot girl now mode. Hellpp please.

    Reply
  37. Nevena
    Nevena says:

    Hey Brad, I broke up with my boyfriend 10 months ago, because I was jealous. After the breakup, we met eachother and wanted to get back together again but it didn’t work cause he didn’t want other people to know that we are together again. Now, we are texting each other almost every day. So I started no contact phase 2 days ago. And yesterday he sent me love song. We usually send each other songs but it’s the first time that he sent me a love song. Maybe it’s just coincidence. So, should I completely ignore him? I am kind of afraid that he is going to get mad or stop texting me because of me ignoring him. I don’t know what is right thing to do, please help!!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      It’s still important to put the “no contact” rule into priority because if you’ve been in touch after the breakup too soon, then you BOTH aren’t taking the time to process the breakup and been acting like it hadn’t happened. Burying the problems which had caused the breakup in the first place is the first step towards a doomed relationship. Make sense now? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  38. Keith
    Keith says:

    Hey Brad, I broke up with my girlfriend over a month ago. We officially broke up yesterday. It was very bad. She told me to leave her alone and go find another girlfriend..she wants nothing to do with me. She said my insecurities have driven her crazy and she has become scared of me. We argued and I said some pretty mean stuff and I apologized for that. I even bought roses, and other material things. I think that she is seeing someone else but she denies it. He way of doing things has changed so much; communication and all. So I became suspicious. But I am not even sure I can get her back; hence I purchased your program. Man it hurts so bad!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi, Keith! Sorry to hear about the breakup. Scared of you? Why, what happened? You might want to check out this vid to help you out: How to Get a Girlfriend (And Make Her Addicted to You). And looking at how things have been recently, I highly suggest you employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, at http://www.breakupbrad.com All right? Good luck!

      Reply
  39. Waqar Ali
    Waqar Ali says:

    Hi Brad,
    I am 31 and my Ex gf 27.We had relationship just over 2 years.She lives in a hostel with her best friend as her roommate.We were about to get married this year.This June,I went abroad for 3 months for a job search and after returning didn’t met her for 3 weeks.At 3 weeks end,we had a fight on phone in which I accused her friend of brainwashing her and called her friend a prostitute.Next day she came to me and said our relationship is over,you never cared about me,didn’t met me etc.Over next 4 weeks I tried my best to convince her (actually worst) by begging and pleading with two separate weeks of radio silence.Sometimes she said ok I want to be back again and next day she went colder.Last week I met her and she said it’s over.I said its ok I wont call or text you again,its over for me too.Soon after her text came that I dont want you to be that depressed.I said leave me alone.That was our last conversation.I have started 30 days NC rule.
    How long should be my contact period be? Is there anything else I could do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup, Waqar. It’s quite sad to see how one relationship that’s seemingly going well (to the point of you two almost getting married) come to a complete halt all of a sudden. Begging and pleading might have put a damper on your chances, though, but depending on the damage done, it may or may not be too late… just don’t make the same mistakes! On the flip side, however, you could just be overreacting, so don’t be so hard on yourself. Most people are guilty of this at some point. So if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible, but whatever the case, I recommend you really give each other space for at least a month. Okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  40. Sarita
    Sarita says:

    Hi Brad,
    I am currently going thru a lesbian breakup which lasted 10 mths, not sure if that makes a difference for your programs. I am 36 and she is 29. She broke up with me a little over a month ago. She said that she was not in love with me anymore and we had a couple issues throughout our relationship that kept coming back up. So long story short, we met each other online and fell madly in love with each other within a month. We both came out of 3 yr controlling relationships She actually proposed to me at about a month and I said yes. There was a friend that she had past sexual relations with but found out they were not compatible. I didn’t trust the girl at all throughout the relationship, we hung out with her all the time and she would tell me that I need to trust her. It was hard, I went thru therapy and stopped drinking for a while and things seems to be good. Then I started drinking again and the same jealousy came up again. So fast forward to now that the breakup happened. I lived in the house up until a few days ago and I thought I might have a chance to get her back. She would initiate texting with me everyday. She would flirt, we would hang out, cook dinner together or go out for drinks. We did sleep together 3 times and cuddle a few times. I asked her if she was dating and she said that she was talking to people and hanging out but no relationship with anyone. The day after I moved out of the house, I went into the security camera to take my email out of the system and noticed some saved videos so I watched them and I saw a woman come out of the house. I immediately texted her that I saw it and she ignored me all weekend, I’m assuming she was with the woman. I apologized for my mistake but she never responded. Then on Mon she wrote me a text that said she is done and won’t be in contact for a while. I stopped texting her to give her space. She then started texting me and I continued to ignore her. She all of a sudden got pissed at me saying she wasn’t going to play this game with me. Do I really have a chance at getting her back at this point? Why is she now reaching out? Thanks Brad, anything at this point will help. I’m starting to work on myself but I’m still devastated. Hope to talk soon!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Sarita! It’s not so different, but the dynamics may change a bit depending on who plays the more dominant role. I recommend to sign up for my coaching program for that, so I can take a closer look and see what’s really happening. Anyway sorry to hear about the breakup. What kind of issues did you two have in this relationship? I think at this point, you ought to stop all contacts with her. This will not only help her miss you, but will help you focus on yourself and your own life for the moment, instead of confronting her with who she’s dating — which isn’t productive at all. Don’t respond to her unless it’s about something really important like unpaid bills, shared responsibilities, etc. Good luck and hopefully talk to you soon!

      Reply
  41. Nina
    Nina says:

    Hello everybody ! 🙂

    Dear Brad, I watched some of your videos and I can’t help wonder …
    1) When your EX reaches you, after the no contact period , with a pointless hello …. is there a way to test his intentions in order to avoid pointless communication and unnecessary disappointment and loss of energy? many times they do it to kill some time because it’s easy considering they know you have feelings.

    2) When the ex contacts with you after the no contact period, you suggest to be polite and pleasant. But my relationship ended with him being very irresponsible and unable to handle it. I am afraid that being polite and pleasant might give him the message that it is acceptable to treat me that way. How to be polite and funny when I feel he owns me an apology the less . I need to know he recognizes the measure of his mistakes?

    ??? Help ??? 🙂

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi, Nina! Well, first off, if you’ve done the first phase (which is the “no contact” rule) correctly, your ex won’t know for sure you still have feelings for them. Follow the Ex Factor Guide down to a tee to help you with that, since it’s a pretty complicated process to explain all of it here. As for reaching out to you with a pointless message, watch what I’ve discussed here first, as it covers your particular scenario, watch this til’ the end of the vid so you won’t miss out any important detail: Hidden Clues In Your Ex’s Text Messages (Uncover Their TRUE FEELINGS!). Lastly, now there is no cure for being immature/irresponsible on his part, but giving him enough time does tend to help him see things clearly and hopefully realize his mistakes. So again, keeping things fun and light when you re-establish contact is key. Good luck! 🙂

      Reply
  42. Ana
    Ana says:

    hi brad. i just broke up with my boyfriend. we’re both 19. we’ve been together for 4 years. but during that time, there were so many times we broke up and get back together again. But this time we both realized that we’re old enough to be serious in a relationship. Its been 3 months we’re together and everything was fine. until last night, i don’t know maybe i was being so clingy and get mad when he went out to see his friends. i don’t know why i never been like this before. actually we texted before he went out. so he thought that he already gave me the attention. But the next day, i apologized for my behavior and it seems like he’s not into the relationship anymore. he was thinking that i’m being unfair to him. he said that he’s not my type. he can’t be like what i wanted him to be. we had a lot of fight and he thought that this relationship is not working out. so that’s it. that’s the last time I communicated with him. but the biggest problem is, his ex is trying so hard to win him back. his ex wanted him so bad (even though she knew we’re in a relationship). I’m afraid that he will choose her instead of me.I really need your guide what should i do and shouldn’t do. Thanks Brad. Hope to hear from you soon.

    Reply
  43. Lia Bakar
    Lia Bakar says:

    Hi Brad, I am Lia, 43 years old. My ex boyfriend (who is 59 years old) broke up with me about 10 days ago, after being together for 3 months. Our relationship was mature and lots of laughter and understanding. Then i blew up mentioning his ex and I accused him of still have feelings towards his ex girlfriend. We didnt speak for 4 days after the accusation, and after that 4 days, he texted me saying he doesnt want us to be lovers anymore, he felt miserable about the whole thing and he wants us to be just friends. I begged and pleaded, sent him long texts pleading for him to forgive me… then i stumbled into your youtube video and started the NO Contact Rule. I am now in the No-Contact period with my ex for 10 days and counting. Everyday I miss him more…Few days ago i noticed that he unblocks me on his whatsapp (on the day we argued, he blocked me on whatsapp)..but he didnt contact me or anything yet. Will i ever have a chance to get him back? and what are the clues i should look for to know whether he is still in love with me and want me back? Please help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Lia. Sorry to hear about the breakup. To be quite honest with you, you aren’t likely gonna get the signs in the first month, since this is a time where you ought to give him a chance to miss you while you focus on yourself, and perhaps find ways to curb your jealousy a bit? But here are the signs to look for: 8 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back. And if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  44. john
    john says:

    hey brad i had a relationship of 3 years with my girlfriend,but i cheated her ,so she left me i m feeling very guilty i realized my mistake .i pleaded her every possible way i tried to get back her back she is very stubborn .she said i dnt want you anymore but i want her so deep…its has 2-3 weeks since breakup .i cant maintain the no contact rule becaz she works with me .when i see her i m getting emotional what should i do to get her back .i tried your quiz i got 66 points ….is there any hope to get her back ,,,i m feeling so desparate .what should i do plzz help me out brad

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, sorry to hear. Under the usual circumstances, I would suggest for you to do the 30-day “no contact” rule with your ex, but seeing as how you work together, this case then automatically exempts it from this rule. Just DON’T initiate random contact in any way and don’t make any unnecessary chitchats, okay? I’ve discussed it in these videos, as well as how to handle it: When Is It Bad To Ignore Your Ex? Exceptions To The ‘No Contact’ Rule Since cheating is involved, expect her to take a while to come around since forgiveness and learning to trust again both take time. Watch this: How to Get Your Ex Back If You Cheated On Them. If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

      Reply
  45. Jane
    Jane says:

    Hi Brad, I have been following your YouTube channels for 1 month now. I want to know if my situation is hopeless.

    I tried your free quiz and I scored 75/100, my issue is based on trust factor as my ex broke up with me due to lack of trust. My initial lover contacted my current ex and told him that we are still dating and chatting and one fine day I admitted to my current ex in message that I am still chatting and in contact with my first ex. To make things worse, my initial lover contacted my current ex and ask him to leave the picture and claim that we are still dating which is false.

    My current ex decide to leave the 2 years long relationship 1-2 month ago and we have been in contact ever since, as friends but he doesn’t reach out to me its always I am reaching out to him. I did all the mistakes that you mentioned in your videos, the pleading the begging, the fighting, the buying gifts but nothing seem to work. He seems perfectly fine without me.

    I want to know if my situation is hopeless before I sign up for your online coaching. I want to get back together with him and repair this relationship.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Jane, sorry to hear about the breakup. It’s too soon to really tell how this will turn out, since things are still so fresh, plus there are many more factors to be put into consideration, aside from what you’ve told me. A score of 75 isn’t all that bad, though, just make it a point to avoid any of the mistakes like the plague from now on, okay? Cutting off contact for at least a month or more can help you tremendously on keeping your emotions checked, so try your best to do that first. You’re welcome to sign up for my coaching program if you’re unsure how to go about this or you’re planning to do something but not sure if it’s a good idea or not, etc. but I would have to look a the situation as a whole in order to give solid advice. Take care!

      Reply
  46. Dylan
    Dylan says:

    Brad Ive been in a strange on/off relationship for over 50 months. Ive recently been dumped again and have lost count on how many times ive received the no contact, never going to see her again feeling. Everytime has been different and we have always learned and grown through it. Usually it is her getting hurt and ignoring me for awhile as I try to chase. It is one sided when we are together because it always seems meaningless to her. She has given my life new meaning, loved and cared for me most of the time I have known her and it is like no other woman. She just got a new job and it ruined everything, easily I could have kept things together but I played cold and lost miserably, the couple of times she was around and leaving angrily I was unable to makeup for the situation and pathetically tried calling and texting an absurd amount right away(this usually happens even though I clearly have learned my lesson not to already). She has no car/place to live and is either mooching off her girlfriend or a new boyfriend. I just got her voting mail and I saw she left her early voting letter, a bunch of her belongings are still here, shoes, jewelry, clothing etc. Even though she came by with her friend and two sheriffs to get into my house that I let her stay in and get all her things. She also left things like special tea or a bag of towels her mom gave from Turkey, an expensive hair straightener blah blah blah, There is too much in the story to cover on this paragraph. Brad please help, a lot of things went wrong since I got her back from Turkey and I have already made so much damage and mistakes throughout our history. I am determined to get her back Brad please help make this happen and actually workout in the long run for me too.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey, Dylan, what concerns me most, more than the breakup itself, is the fact that you had this kind of on and off dynamic with her. 50 months? That’s close to 5 years! What happened? It’s important you read this first to know what to expect and what steps to take: Things You Must Learn If You’re In an On-and-Off Relationship. For starters, cut off contact first and give her space, all right? Take a breather. That should at least give her time to calm down a bit, all right? You’re welcome to sign up for my coaching program if you’re unsure how to go about this or you’re planning to do something but not sure if it’s a good idea or not, etc. but I would have to look a the situation as a whole in order to give solid advice. Talk soon!

      Reply
  47. Avinash Bholah
    Avinash Bholah says:

    Hi Brad Im Jay.. married for past five yrs one daughter of 4yrs, my wife left more than one month, she living with her parents now. i found some odd msg on her mobile when later found she was cheating on me..
    i gave her lods of chances to stop that nonsense but she continued to do so..
    she blame me i never had time for her no feeling left etcc..
    Wats stunning in all that is that she left her parent home to come at mine 5yrs ago stating she ll stay at my place forever..and today she mentioning she wasnt in love with me and that i forced her marry me..
    i ask her to return after one month without direct contact but did call in her daddy mobile so as to talk to my daughter..
    the latter is very sad there and want to stay with me but as per mauritian law child under 5 yr stay with mum.

    i want my child back and indirectly my wife..
    she is online almost all the day and ignoring me
    Please help and adviseme Brad ibadly need it now
    Thank you
    Jay

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear you’re going through this, man. When did all this cheating started? Majority would decide to just move on for good and start afresh with someone else, but a few would still fight for the relationship, so this all depends which side you’re in and what your views are. There is no right or wrong answer here because it is your relationship and it’s personal to you. Make sense? Anyway men and women cheat for different reasons, but if you think your ex is worth it and if there’s been a genuine connection between you two before the cheating happened, then try to see the roles that you BOTH played that led to all this mess and see once and for all if it can be resolved or not, okay? Really take your time before deciding though and be sure not to make any hasty decisions from an emotional place. I can help you out via my email coaching program, since I need to know a bit more background and take lots of factors into consideration as well. Take care and hopefully talk to you soon!

      Reply
  48. abhishek
    abhishek says:

    Hii brad .. i am abhishek and i am 18 years old and my girlfriend broke up 9 months before due……she broke up because i was not allowing her to go out of state for study although she wanted to go…i asked her that i she go out of state ..then she has to leave me….and after two days of this conversation ..we met and she said for breakup….i feel guilty of my mistake and said sorry to her and i tried my best to keep the relationship but she said NO…..
    After that ..i start convincing her to ome in relationship again..i begged and pleaded ..but she says that we will remain friends…..she used to call me almost everyday…..in these 9 months i convinced her many times but she dont agree to come…..and at the present after watching some of your videos..our conversations are going good….please answer me what to do….

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, sorry to hear that. Begging and pleading never works. Give her some space and use this time to try to see why you aren’t open to her being away for her studies. Are you really open to a long distance relationship? This isn’t everyone’s cup of tea because of the obvious physical distance and the challenges this type of dynamic presents, so it’s important to assess your own thoughts on this first, before you rekindle the relationship, all right? Anyway if you’re really sure you want to get her back, watch and follow the tips here: How to Get Your Ex Back in a Long Distance Relationship. Good luck!

      Reply
      • abhishek
        abhishek says:

        I know you are right man…….
        But at present the situatuon is that we both are in regular dialy contact with each other either on facebook and phone ……and now our conversations are going well because i watched some of your videos on how to talk with her and on some other topics also….but sometimes she behaves like a friend and sometimes like more than a friend…. i asked her to meet and she readily agrees to meet me……thats why iam not sur e about all this situation….i know if i use some tactics…she will be again my gf…
        But how to do this……please guide me

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          Hey man, have you cut off contact yet for at least a month? I get it that each situation is different, but MOST situations require for you to do this rule first. Try not to skip it, all right? You see, the thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so again, I can’t stress this enough: employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch. Watch this, too: How to Make Your Ex Miss You. Good luck!

          Reply
          • abhishek
            abhishek says:

            Since my breakup i have not cutt off contact with her completely…
            After some fighting ..there was no contact between us for some days(25 days) but then i heard from our mutual friend that she was missing me and crying for all that…..then our conversations again get started….
            But at present we both are talking almost everyday but the conversations are not anyway romantic……and i also want to cutt off the contact…..
            But how can i cut off the contact because our conversations are going normal…shoul i get completely disappeared from her life without any reason…what would she think of me………. Then after no contact what to say to her why i broke the contact what reasons should i give to her if she asks and how to again reestablishing mutual attraction with her…..please guide me sir

          • Brad Browning
            Brad Browning says:

            Sorry to hear.If you’ve recently reconnected, don’t expect your ex to warm up easily. Getting an ex back is a process. Are you sure you’re not trying to rush it? Setting a deadline is a good way to fail when it comes to exes, so I highly discourage it.What steps have you taken to get your ex back? It’s time to re-assess those and see what’s working versus what’s not working. Sometimes, getting an ex back is like trying to fit a square into a circle, but oftentimes, chances are you’re letting emotion dictate you and therefore end up making the wrong choices. Have you checked out my guide yet? It’s ultimately up to you to act (or not act, depending on which phase you’re in) on getting your ex back, but it helps if you read it to know that you’re on the right track. Good luck!

  49. Navneet thakur
    Navneet thakur says:

    Hi brad i m navneet thakur and i m 18 years old and i and my girlfriend study in same batch both preparaing for our MBBS exam which is after 7 months…….. Few days ago she broke up with me due to reason of study… She said as our exam is approaching nd she is not able to get time to study so she is ending up relationship…….. This is only reason of breakup…… I even begged nd txt her a lot for not to breakup but she said i m now practical and these things doesn’t matter to her….. She is more conscious about her Career………… So will she be able to continue after 7 months….. Or will she come back after our exam………. Pls answer…. What should i do now….. She said that she don’t want any relationship for 7 months till exam….. Nd even promised that she will b single during this span of 7 months…. But can’t guarantee that after 7 mnths she would be able to continue or not…… So u pls guide me what should i do……. Will she come back…….. I want to get back to my ex…

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Navneet, sorry to hear that. It seems like being in a relationship isn’t a priority to her at this time. That could very well be the reason, along with the fact that she has been losing interest in you, possibly due to the distance. Watch this first to help you understand what’s been going on: The Number One Root Cause of All Breakups. Consider moving on from this but at least employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, at http://www.breakupbrad.com Good luck!

      Reply
  50. Omar
    Omar says:

    Hi Brad.
    Me and my girlfriend where together for one and a half years a day before she go for an exchange student she broke up with me for the reason that she think that she is holding me back and I told her that this is not true.
    She asked me if I am going to text her a safe flight the next day of the break up and I said that I can’t do that that I will wish it in my Hart…. Was that a mistake?
    Today I am worried about her but there is no way to know if she is safe should I text her so I can feel relief or to wait for something to update on Facebook?
    She I also not so in Facebook she never update it or anything….
    And I want to get back together I still love her….
    What should I do… Please help me I am a bit desperate..
    Thanks.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Omar. Sorry to hear about the breakup. It’s best NOT to reach out to her at this point. I know this must’ve been incredibly hard on you, but the more you care for her and focus on her, the more you’ll take that time away from you. Right now you ought to be focusing on yourself, okay? Watch this: Want Your Ex Back? Stop Thinking About Them! I suggest you stay busy by reading my Ex Factor Guide, which covers every possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Good luck!

      Reply
  51. Emily
    Emily says:

    Hi Brad, I recently just got out of a year long relationship. Well anyway about a month ago. My girlfriend reasoned it to loving me but just not being 100% into it anymore. We had planned out an entire future and we were ready for marriage and this seemed so shocking to me. Anyway, after 3 weeks of the breakup I caved to desperate and embarrassing begging for a weekend. I even begged for a chance in the future… I know embarrassing. It finally ended with me realizing how stupid I was being, but I also had a family emergency and as she was very close to my family she asked for updates on what was happening. We ended being nice to each other and I gave her all the necessary updates. Now I want to implement the no contact, but I don’t know if it’s too late. While I was begging she even told me I was pushing her further away. I never sent hateful messages though, just begged her to take me back and also to give me a chance in the future. How can I reverse this now and get her to stop seeing me as some desperate needy person? Should I apologize for the weekend or should I just stop talking to her since we ended okay after what happened with my family.

    Reply
  52. Melissa
    Melissa says:

    Hi there Brad. I’m having a really hard time with my recent break up. I met an amazing man who has all the things I ever wanted in a man. We started seeing eachother 3 months ago and I immediately fell head over heels. We did a lot of things together and had a great connection. I messed it all up by continuing to talk to other guys on Facebook even though I didn’t want really anything to do with any of them. He said when we first met that I didn’t have to worry about him being the jealous type and it was a new relationship, which we hadn’t established that we were “official”. I did meet his family and they loved me..his friends loved me and everything was going great until he found out that I had responded to other guys on Facebook. I never met with any of them and and never sent them any sexual messages or anything. All of a sudden, he broke up with me because he says I lied and cheated. He says he can’t trust me. Is there anything I can do to show him that I truly care about him and want him back?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Melissa. Have you tried getting him to commit? Unless you’ve both agreed to date each other exclusively, there’s really no reason for him to be acting up the way he had when you talked to other people, especially if it was really all just an innocent conversation. Give him time to realize all this so he’ll hopefully come to his senses and snap out of it. All right? Let him miss you first. Watch and follow the tips here: How to Make Your Ex Miss You. Take care!

      Reply
  53. Kurt
    Kurt says:

    Wassup Brad. me and my ex broken up yesterday, I got dumped because I was texting my other ex. When I was mad at her because she was barely paying me any attention that period of day, because she said she was going to call me back but then posts “Someone DM me” on Instagram. The only reason I talked to other ex was to tell her about the ex that I love. We’ve only been dating for like 1-3 months. She gave me her virginity and her first oral sex to me. After we broken up I called her on my cellphone she was acting really rude and kept on hanging up. She texted me she regret loosing her virginity and falling in love with a looser on Snap chat and also said it in person when we broke up. We started exchanging rude words with each other while she was trying to leave my room, but I was at my door telling her not to go. It kind of got little reckless. I held her neck softly and pushed her against the wall and her head hit the wall really hard. It was by accident I didn’t mean to do that to my queen. Her face was in shock. When she went home she blocked me on Instagram, and put “Single” as her Instagram name, now it’s “Never Again…” I called her today though earlier to take the bus with her to school. She agreed, messaged me on Snap chat. I didn’t seen it on time so she called and asked “Are you ready?” but I wasn’t ready. So she said “That sucks”. I seen her today after school, while I was sitting in the park, holding all my pain in, trying not to cry. One of her family/ friends seen me and said “You look really sad, did Leevaughia (her name) left you?” I said yeah. When he left I just started crying and put my head down so no one in my neighborhood can see. When I seen her I wanted to call her, I think she wanted me to call her name too, by the way she was walking so slow and was fixing up her shoes, and hair before walking into my sight. I blocked the ex that ruined the relationship, and the ex that I love blocked me on everything except phone calls. She says she’ll block my phone number too but she doesn’t. What should I do ? By the way I’m only sixteen, she’s fifteen and the other ex that ruined that night is seventeen.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that, Kurt. Blocking you is most likely just your ex’s way of coping. Anyway social media should be the least of your concerns. Focus on all three phases and your ex may naturally unblock you, in time, as you learn to rebuild that attraction and re-attract this ex back to your life… Learn the basics here: How to Get Your Ex Back. But whatever the case may be, act responsibly yet try not to take things too seriously now since you may be in a period of growth and lots of changes, including preferences in attitude, personality, etc. Focus on your studies instead, all right? Take care!

      Reply
  54. Mandy
    Mandy says:

    Hi Brad – My question keeps getting deleted for some reason. Dated a guy for two months and he broke up with me over a lack of communication on both our parts. Got back together a month later and after two more months he broke up with me again over text two weeks ago saying he was an angry person and would probably be best if left alone and he was sorry. I told him I was hurt that he was pushing me away again and I don’t understand but because I love him (first time I said it) I would do as he asked and leave him alone. Have not heard anything from him. I don’t know why he’s angry (pretty sure not at me because I didn’t do anything). I just don’t know what to do. I still have his key and I don’t know if I should mail it back saying I wish we could have worked through this or if I should just leave him be?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      This may get deleted because you’ve made two accounts under one email address…and both may have went to spam, hence I missed seeing those. Please refer to the answer I gave under the other username you’ve used. Thanks!

      Reply
  55. javier
    javier says:

    hi brad my girl has slowly faded away with the way she was with me it was two years and we lived together this past year we she felt she wanted to move back to he parents house and when that happened i moved back to my moms house this was all to save for a house but it was her idea once we move she was staying with me a lot but as time went on in a few weeks she started not calling me much and not retuning my calls i was getting tired of it and i asked her whats going on she said she doesn’t know how she feels but she doesn’t want a break later on that night i insisted and too her we need a break she felt that ways so 3 days went brand i contact her to see if she was ok and she said yes and since she has been going out and really just calls me like once a week just for no reason we hung out once after 3 weeks and is was like when we last hung out kinda dead and now i want to start the full no contact but i don’t know if i should block her on my phone also

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Javier. Sorry to hear that. Try to see what really happened and why she had been acting this way. At this point, it’s important to look at the roles that you BOTH played that led to this demise, and do this with a clear head, which cutting off contact can help you do. Okay? I doubt things will fade away just like that, so try to see if you’ve both failed to address a recurring issue. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  56. Peter
    Peter says:

    Hi Brad I was with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years, we split up two months ago because we was arguing over stupid immature arguments, which lead to a big argument with my parents and hers, ever since we have broke up we have been in regular contact she has been hot and cold everytime we talk wanting to sort it out one day and missing me then the next day thinks we should leave it and too much has gone on. But every few days she continues to contact me saying she misses me and this is really hard. Two weeks ago we had a massive argument after she tried to talk to her mother to see if she would accept me back in her house and she kicked off telling her to go if she spoke to me again. After that I decided to not contact her and blocked her off everything, because I felt like I was going around in circles, after 1 week I messaged her saying we should meet up and talk but she said no she does not want to get upset any further and said she’ll never forget me etc etc. I accepted it and said I understand and she kicked off saying why havnt I said a nice message back to her and told me not to contact her. Since then I have continued the no contact period since then but my feelings are up and down and think she has forgot about me. What would you advise?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey, Peter! Sorry to hear you’re going through this. Accept you back at her house? Do you live together? That can be a pain in the behind especially if parent’s don’t approve. I’m not sure why parents had to get involved though. It’s either you’re both too young to date or it has something to do with culture. Either way, it’s best to consider moving on from this, okay? Understand that the choice is ultimately up to your ex on whether to fight for you or not despite the opposition going on. Good luck!

      Reply
  57. Juliet
    Juliet says:

    Hi Brad.. My boyfriend and I were together for a little over 5 years.. This is our second time breaking up..we had broken up a month before.. We had an argument and after a few days of not talking to each other..we broke up..and he told me within that time of not speaking he went to 1 of his “girl friends” and she made him happy for the moment.. And we ended up getting back together 2 days later after the breakup because we gave the relationship another chance..and within the month of being back together everything was great.. We would spend time together.. Make more efforts to see each other..and when we got intimate it was great..and then Wednesday August 10th we ended up breaking up again..and he told me he wanna be friends right now.. And I asked him if he has anybody else and he told me he’s speaking to her on a friendship level and she lives in Spanish Town, Jamaica.. Now the day after we broke up he took down all of our pictures on social media and we haven’t spoken until that Sunday..on sunday he posted a picture of another female which was the girl who he been talkin to that whole month saying, “She’s my heart and she motivates him and she will always have his back” that was very hurtful to me because it hasnt even been a week since we broke up and he did that..so I called him and cursed him out and told him he’s rushing and making a big mistake..The next day he gave me a sincere apology and he regretted putting up that post and he’s always going to love me and he said “if I’m making a mistake let me make that mistake and if what me and him have is real and true we will get back together” I accepted the apology and since then I haven’t been contacting him at all..he still watches my snapchats and stalks my Facebook page but I’m still ignoring him.. I just want to know is there anyway we can get back together or not??

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup, Juliet. Getting an ex back is a process, so there’s no one-action solution for everything. Okay? The “no contact” phase is a good start, so do that first if you haven’t yet. If you have. then I’m glad you’ve completed it. There are two more phases to go with a few other steps in between. What I’m trying to say here is it’s a 3-step process, and it’s a bit complicated to explain it all on here, but I made an overview in the hopes of making people understand, so watch it here:
      How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup)
      or read my guide for the entire process. Good luck!

      Reply
  58. MABRUCK ISMAIL
    MABRUCK ISMAIL says:

    Hi Brad
    I am 25 and my ex is 24,she dumped me a month ago after seven months in a relationship because i was so jealousy and possessive to the extent that i opened a fake face book account and seduced her without her knowing that it was me who was doing it(she nearly accepted the seduction).We also used to have constant clashes and she even used to say that she was very tired of frequent conflicts and wished to end up the relationship.
    So she says i am not her type because our relationship had constant disagreements and i opened a fake account to seduce her which she says i used not to trust her.So she needs to be free and have peace of mind.
    I begged,cried and pleaded with her but nothing helped.I even sent my best friend to talk to her,what she only said is she would never trust me again and even if she agreed today to take me back she wouldn’t feel good as it was before and i would pretend that i have changed so as to continue being with her.
    But Brad I love her and i am genuinely willing to change.This is my fourth day of no contact phase.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there, sorry to hear about the breakup. Fighting can be healthy, but if it becomes too much, especially about recurring issues, can be damaging as well. Give her space and don’t contact her for at least a month, all right? Watch this, too: How to Get a Girlfriend. Be patient and follow the traits listed on the vid. Good luck!

      Reply
  59. Majuran
    Majuran says:

    My ex broke up with me almost 2 weeks now, this is our second break up, the reason for the break up was because of clubbing, she likes to go out and have fun, drink and dance with her friends, i’m not that kind of outgoing person.
    So because of this she feels that she don’t want to be that responsible for life yet as we are still young, so she thought of being single as she doesn’t need to worry about anything that’s the same reason we broke up the first time and bounced back after a month and few days but while on that one month we dated different people and they were not interesting as we were, fun and crazy etc.
    But when we were back together everything was perfect excellent understanding and communication then before, after few months we decide to have a child and sadly lost it on the 6th week, she was devastated but now she changed her mind.
    We both met each other at work and still work at the same workplace, but for this few days she don’t look that happy she hardly smiles. i’m thinking whether she regrets for breaking up or not.
    She asked me to stay as friends i agreed but i wont contact her at all as i don’t want to go after her i’m having my no contact rule to see whether she does miss me or not, plus i have a gut feeling that she will come back to me again, my gut feelings always tend to come true but i’m just wondering if she will

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, sorry to hear you’re going through all this. Losing a child can be especially traumatic. You both may be dealing with this in your own ways. So definitely give yourselves time to grieve, okay? This is entirely different emotions from the breakup. Anyway use this time to process the breakup and see why you two keep breaking up in the first place. Are you cool with her going out with her friends, or is this an issue? She may have felt smothered if you’ve been overly jealous whenever she goes clubbing. Clubbing, as long as it’s done every once in a while and not taking over your entire relationship, is generally okay. Ask her to come with her and see how she reacts. But as of now, you’re right to NOT be in the friendzone, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first, all right? Good luck!

      Reply
  60. Liz
    Liz says:

    Hi Brad

    First and foremost THANK YOU!! I came across your videos a couple weeks ago and have been listening/ watching religously trying to navigate my way through my breakup which happened about 3 weeks ago.

    I’m going to apologize in advance as this is going to be extremely long and very detailed, but I feel with your insight, guidance and just overall life advice I can put my foot in the right direction.

    I gotta say it’s the most bi polar process, the highs and lows are maddening. I’ve known the guy for about 5 months and we dated for 3, here’s the kicker I crapped where I eat. We worked together so now I’m kicking myself. We started off as friends and he was actually still reeling from an encounter with his ex of 3 years and she kept messing with his head, well maybe a month later he asked me out, out of the blue. I can’t deny I had feelings for him and had grown to care for him from working and spending time with him- so I went against my better judgement and gave it a try, knowing fully well he wasn’t over his ex (even though he swore up and down he was) and I was also very apprehensive because we were coworkers and literally sat side by side in cubicles…I know I know! Any how we started going out and it was great, we have the same sense of humor, love the same sports team and similar in music. The problem was he would occasionally talk about his ex, or have a hard time with painful reminders, causing me to think he was pining for her. Because of that I was relcutant to call myself his girlfriend and let my guard down, and would get defensive and sometimes lead to picking a fight about something minuscule, it didn’t happen alot but a few times, and I noticed I would do it more when he would make some connection or conversation to his ex and I became insecure because I felt like a rebound. When I’m mad at someone I do stupid cathartic things like delete their number from my phone temporarily, just to add it back later, and one time I did this and his friend took my phone and called me out and told nick (the ex) long story short Nick started to overthink and read into it and about that and what it meant, and I could tell he had trust issues. I was head over heels doing everything for this kid from buying event tickets to bringing him food at work, and one time I had a bad day at work and my dog was sick and Nick asked me to come meet his friends, his buddy was making fun of my brother and I got drunk on an empty stomach and Nick said something about my brother too and I snapped back and made a comment about how atleast he never got fired like Nick did, which I said in front of all his friends on their first time meeting me, I said it like a joke but he took it really badly and I immediately regretted it. I apologized and he gave me a second chance and from there on out I let my guard down and was doing everything I could to show I wanted to be with him. Well his ex kept trying to make contact and one night we were supposed to go to a party together and he ended up going without me because he assumed I wouldn’t go since my family was in town, which I still wanted to go. I asked him to stop by and he agreed and a couple hours go by and I called him and he said he was really drunk and couldn’t drive, I later texted him to get me a lyft and i would go, to which he never responded. So I got irritated and ended up deactivating my Facebook so I wouldn’t have to see his posts all night, and I went out and ended up taking a bunch of pictures of me posing with friends (some are guys)(Let me be clear, i didn’t do that to spite him and I wasn’t doing anthing suggestive in the pics, just pictures with friends, stupid selfies side by side arms around necks – no cheek kissing, hugging etc or suggestive crap like that) and then re activated and posted the pics in the morning. I ended up seeing nick at work when I worked a shift for him the next day and he was having a family 4th of July party he said I could stop by after work, which i turned down because I had to work early the next day. I ended up venting to a co worker about the party and word got back to Nick because his friend is our supervisor who I didn’t know he told we were dating, which I never told anyone and never dropped his name. So he texted me and was all frustrated and said we would talk and sort it out. I offered to go by after work but he said the cops came and never answered my texts the rest of the night, like the night before he said his phone died :/ well I had family over for the 4th the next day and left them and told him I’d like to talk and went to his house and even made him a plate and wore a dress to get his attention. He was cold from the moment i got there and asked what was so pressing I needed to talk, so I reiterated I wasn’t mad he didn’t come to my family party but that he waited to tell me he was too drunk after ha had said he would be there and was sad I couldn’t go to the party with him, where he said someone asked to see my picture so he went to pull up Facebook but it wasn’t there and then the next day I posted pictures flaunting my night out looked shady. And that’s when he said he wanted to go back to how things were before we started dating and stay friends. I started to cry and got up to leave and he said don’t leave before this is resolved or something like that. Either way it was him ending it so went home and cried in front of my whole family. We went back and fourth with texts where I told him to please come if he wanted resolve it to which he said maybe Later not in the mood and even that he wasn’t gonna chase me since I left. It was out of character and very cold. Anyways Nur he never came by and that night I wrote a long email stated how what he said during the break up was right (he said he thinks I care more) and I said I get defensive when I feel vulnerable/ rejected and asked him not to respond and I would figure out something with work, well he did respond and said he knows how relationships work and that this won’t esp now, he’s too sensitive or insensitive and agrees I have issues with relationships, then said he wanted to be friends and on top of it asked me for a concert ticket I bought us both. After I read that I was actually pretty angry, he comes out of nowhere acting really cold towards me and stated he couldn’t emotionally connect with me and had been trying, even though I told him multiple times we can just stay friends and he can sort out his feelings and crap wtb his ex but he reassured me I was what he wanted and he was over her…so I’ve had to work with him since then and decided to just not engage and only speak if it was about work. He had other plans and would talk casually and even got irritated when I was short with him or cut him off and he slapped a post it on my desk that read “Thanks for being so mature about this friend. Drop the attitude” To which I never responsed to, and the next day he commeneted on me dying my hair and says nice hair. It was just little crap here and there.

    During that week my grampa ended up having a stroke shifting my entire focus.
    I left work in tears and Nick saw and texted me later that night “I know I’m the last person you’d rather speak to, but if you need anything I’m here for you”

    That text just confused me and seemed like a huge mixed signal, which was how I felt every single time I worked with him, He broke up with me yet kept trying to talk.

    I responded Thank you the next day. I sat on his text and thought about it and figured maybe he was having second thoughts. So after work I pulled him aside and told him I had been focusing on myself and realized I wasnt ready to be his girlfriend because he put so much improtance on it and stated that I had embarassed him in front of his friends and he gave me 3 strikes and the last one was that I didn’t go to his family party. The strike thing I didn’t understand because he never told me I embarrassed him, or that I had done things he was keeping tally on. Legit no communication on that, So I was very caught off guard by that statement and said I think we should start over and go very slow, and not jump into something so emotionally heavy and just take the time to get to know eachother with no pressure and that I felt like I had to overcompensate in the relationship and especially in front of his friends because his ex was so toxic, but I wasn’t comfortable as he says “Representing” him and that if we took the pressure off I could just relax and be myself. That or I wanted to be his friend but would need time and would move on and date around – to which he didn’t seem to like

    He said we would talk about it later (Because he was on break and it was ending)

    He texted me and asked if I still had the tickets and we could go to the concert, which I had to clarify did he mean as friends or starting over, and then reitterated a long ass text about how that would take time but I’d like to start over and be myself since i was overcompensating- to which he said “I can see that” meaning he agreed with him putting importance on me in front of his friends made me overcompensate. No where in his texts did he state we could start over or I should move on.

    So he kept me hanging all weekend, and finally on monday he texted me “Hey how are you feeling, grampa doing ok?”

    (He moved to hospice)

    I got irritated becuase he sent me a few casual texts all weekend but never touched on our conversation. So i said he was not doing well then asked him why he was texting me, to which he said “Uhhhh because I thought we were cool, you said we were, but I won’t if you don’t want me to” to whcih I replied “I told you how I felt, that if you wanted to start over I’m up for it, otherwise I’d be your fienfd but it would take time, and if that’s what you’re on then leave me alone completely” and he instantly replied “Deal”

    and thats when I lost it.

    I said ok peace asshole

    and he goes “LMFAO, I’ve been nice to you and now I’m an asshole? You got it dude”

    I was so angry, he was sending me mixed signals and fucking with my head when he knew what was going on with my grampa.

    I responded “Nice?” and proceeded to express exactly how i felt and how pissed i was he was fucking with my head and that adult relationships take communication not keeping tally, and that he took advantage of me etc and I did everything for him. It boiled down to me telling him to go fuck himself and fuck with someone else’s head and that I was going to block him and that i was done with him and over it.

    So I blocked him and didn’t speak to him at all last week, I took off a few days because my grampa ended up passing away 🙁

    I’m not sure if anyone told him that or not about him passing away. But yesterday was the first time I saw him at work after I sent that long F you text. I didn’t make any attempt to talk to him but he caught me going up the stairs and goes “Hey” and handed me a bag with a jersey in it that I gave to him, I completely fell apart not long after that while at work and ended up leaving early and basically quit my job. ( i have another lined up)

    And that’s it, to wrap up the longest email you’ve ever read. This was yesterday, we haven’t talked. I guess what I’m struggling with is these mixed signals. Its not like he can text or facebook me since I blocked him, and I genuinley do feel bad for that F you text I sent, I meant what I said becuase it’s exactly how I felt. But I worded it harshly and did so out of anger. As messed up as this whole thing is, I still care and wonder if there’s any chance of fixing it, or if I should even apologize for the text, even though he hasn’t apologized for what he put me through. He doesn’t know just how badly I’ve been hurting from all of this. We haven’t spoken since the tex, other then his “Hey” on the stairs in passing to give me the jersey

    I’m struggling with if this is how I should leave it and walk away or if i should perhaps apologize, let him know he’s not blocked and leave the pathway for communication open.

    Whatever your insight is I respect. I’m capable of moving on and getting over it, but I’m also capable of starting over and wiping the slate clean if he wants to start over.

    But I have no idea, its been a mixed signals few weeks and all I need is clarity.

    So once again good GOD i’m so damn sorry for this huge long ass letter.

    As you can tell I struggle with anxiety at times.

    You’re a life saver and i look forward to talking to you.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Liz, I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation. Okay? Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  61. Shreya
    Shreya says:

    Hii Brad…I recently gone through a breakup with my boyfriend. I know our relationship wasn’t like for years or more rather it was just of 4-5 months. It was all going good like we netheir had fights nor any argument. We always considered each other’s situation n then enacted on it..But when he said that he want to be alone n don’t want relationship it was such a shock for me. Yeah he use to say something like “R u gonna leave me ?” Or like “so I’m getting a breakup again? ” he said these things many times which made me think is like he wants me to break up with him…even he told me that he wants me to say him that I want a break up but I don’t give up so easily just for silly reasons…one more thing was he was going to shift somewhere else for higher studies and he said that he can’t be in long distance relationship. But I think we both really want it to last long. He still says” if you ever need any kind of help I will be always there.” You know for me there’s still not appropriate reason for our breakup like was it because of his fear of long distance relationship or something else. It makes me think then was it all fake or what. Recently few days back he asked me for a movie n I said him that I am totally busy even though I was not . And he’s still waiting for me to get free for sometimes n be there with him for a movie..and I’m not getting what to do… its all so confusing Please Brad help me !! Will be waiting for your reply…
    Thank you

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Shreya. I’m sorry to hear about the breakup and I understand where you’re coming from. When a relationship ends, it’s really a challenge to find the exact reason/s why. This is why it’s so important to try to get a clear head on this and NOT let your emotions take over, okay? This may help you gain a different perspective: The Number One Root Cause of All Breakups and we also have to add in the factor of distance. It’s true that some people are just not open to it. An LDR just presents a lot of trials one or both of you may not be ready to handle, especially on his side. Consider moving on from this or at the very least, cut off communications for at least a month, okay? This means no checking his online profile, no talks, and certainly no movie dates. Let him really miss you first. Take care!

      Reply
  62. Julia
    Julia says:

    Hi Brad. Could you give me advice? Last Sunday my ex broke up with me, and I have tried to be in No Contact since then. But today he texted me about good news of himself. Should I answer him like “Congrats”? Or should I still not contact him? I’ll feel a bit sorry if I don’t answer anything though..
    Thank you.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey, Julia. Yes, you can give a quick “congratulations” but be sure to sound upbeat and avoid drama at all costs, so stay off topics that are counterproductive. Watch this latest vid I’ve posted to help guide you: What to Talk About With Your Ex (Do’s and Don’ts). It helps to end the conversation first, too, and get busy. If there are further developments, sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis, okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  63. Allison
    Allison says:

    Hi Brad, my boyfriend broke up with me 10 days ago, we had been together for 4 years, he didn’t give me a precise reason, he just said that he wants to be alone now, and maybe we will meet again in the future. It was a complete shock because he seemed really in love, even more than I was (another reason he broke up with me). At first I begged him for a second opportunity (I know it is a mistake after watching your videos), he’s texting me every day even if i stopped responding two days ago. He says that he wants really bad to be friends, as we were so close and i’m important to him, but i know that being friends is not right for me. Should I keep not responding? His birthday is in a week, should i text him? I’m desperate to get him back.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup, Allison. Yes, continue to do the 30-day “no contact” rule and don’t be friends with him. Use this time instead to clear your mind so you’ll have the clarity to see the real reasons behind this breakup. As you may already know, let him miss you first and let him feel what it’s really like NOT to have you in his life, all right? Being friends with an ex, especially right after a breakup, is a bad idea, and even more so if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively, at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”) and How to Get Out of Your Ex’s Friendzone. Good luck!

      Reply
  64. Alice
    Alice says:

    Hi Brad, my ex boyfriend & I had broken up 4 months ago. We stayed as friends after the break-up, & texted him almost every single day as I was so afraid of losing him. Things didn’t get any better… it went down hill instead. I rejected becoming his “FWB”. We still quarreled from time to time, & he even gave me a cold shoulder. I saw him on a dating website; looking for girls, even though he said he’s not interested in relationship for the time being. Until last week, I asked him if it was possible for us to get back together & he said no. I have stopped contacting him completely ever since then, & told him that I will just move on.

    But certain part of me I still wanna see him.

    Reply
  65. Ana
    Ana says:

    Hi Brad,
    I’m not sure if no contact would work in my case. It’s a very long distance relationship, we’ve been together for 7 months and didn’t get a chance to meet except skyping all time possible, 5 moths were amazing, but last 2 we were barely speaking, because I got annoyed at him not keeping word like not calling when he’s been saying he would and tried to get him to call me and miss me, but I was doing a terrible job at it, being nasty and disappointed at him. So I did limited contact subconsciously in the worst possible way. I wasn’t supportive enough with his depression either. Now he says things have changed a lot for him already, he remembers only the bad things about me, cause that’s how I’ve been for months now and he said he feels better without me.
    Also I was freaking out and crying when he broke up, begging not to, he agreed for a second chance. It’s been a week now, LC and the worst time in my life so far. I feel like I’ve lost my soulmate trying to prove something stupid. I’m trying to be all upbeat when talking to him now, it’s hard, but better than not talking at all. And I’m getting mixed signals, he used to say he sees our future together, after the break up he said he used to think the same about every ex girlfriend, yet he still says he loves me, but then that he doesn’t want to be with me this way. I’m so confused.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Ana. Sorry to hear about the breakup. How often did you two get to spend time together whilst in a long distance relationship? It’s too soon to be trying to be talking to him, you BOTH need time to process the breakup and heal, okay? The more you talk, the more you both will bring drama and worsen the situation — and that’s the last thing you want right now… especially with all the baggage he has currently. You can’t rush this process. Watch this, first: How to Not Get Your Ex Back. Good luck!

      Reply
  66. Rashid
    Rashid says:

    Hi Brad, so basically me and my ex had been kinda together since last March. Why i said “kinda” is because when i asked her out, what she responded was ” I really love you, like a lot but you’re going to move to another country and have your university there. I can’t deal with any long distance relationships anymore cause my last relationship was long distance and it didn’t really work out”. She added ” Trust me, after you finish school for 4 years then you don’t have to ask me out. I will just say yes”. Then we kept on going out together, being romantically attached, visiting each others house, and we were in the I love You term. Evermore, I told her that Im scared of losing her cause shes special to me. It kept on going the same way till last 2 week where everything turned out to be bad. Last time I met her was last week and face to face, she has been the same ever since. Then on that day, she started to drink and smoke and she started to contact one of her ex. Since then, She’s been so different, meaner and straight forward ( No Sweetstuffs ). At first, I tried to understand her but then what she wanted was to be single and she wants to juggle guys or in other words she doesn’t want to have any boundaries and commitments. I asked her ” Thats not what you said to me ” but she replied people change. Its just she’s so different from herself before. Now, that she wants to play with other guys.

    Please help me Brad cause I’m leaving soon to leave this country. I don’t know why she changed but its just so sudden and i really don’t know what to do. Shes different from anyone i have every known

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Rashid. Sorry to hear about the breakup. I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but if you’ve known this chick for only four months give or take, then there may not be enough foundation for this to survive the long distance relationship. To top it off, she doesn’t seem to be open to the idea of a long distance relationship, which is completely understandable since this type of dynamic is not everyone’s cup of tea. Consider moving on from this or at the very least, cut off contact for at least a month, okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  67. Anna
    Anna says:

    me and my ex is a cousin we ‘ve broken up on january 2016. After we broke up, he immediately dating with my friends during 2-3 month ago and just throw me just leaving me like im a doll that he’s already bored. After breaking up with my friend he approached me again, and tell i can’t move on from you..i love you.. but we’re not dating again we just close like dating we do daily texting and call bcs we know we can’t be together forever. At the first time when he approached me, he was very intimate like do vcall and care about me call me babe want to go with me wanna meet me bcs he missed me and sayin’ i love you bfr bed and , etc, but its just in 1 month in april to early may after that until now he no longer. now we just texting without any special and just call, dont care abt me anymore, I feel like i only used by him like when he havent find a new gf he used me but when he already find a gf he will throw me. What should I do now? i really confused and my mind still full of him can’t move on and i feel mad when he just read my text message.
    please i need an advice what should i do
    im just scared and tired being like this

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Anna, it’s best to consider moving on from this, since it seems like he’s using you as a time-filler, for lack of better words to describe how he’s behaving. Whatever the case, be sure to leave him alone for a good while (30 days or more) okay? Given the familial tie you have it’s likely that he’s just looking for a fling and not anyone serious. Take care!

      Reply
  68. Lindsey Brown
    Lindsey Brown says:

    My boyfriend and broke and during my no contact he texts me about coming by to get his belongings. He doesn’t call me during the weekend only during the weekend and he have been intimate since we broke up. we have been best friend for 7 year and dated for 3 years. I didn’t realized that I am dealing with abandonment issues because of my father. I am in therapy now and working with a life coach .. WHAT should I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Continue working on self improvement, that’s always good. If he only contacts you occasionally and you both become intimate but without commitment, then that’s a red flag. Watch and follow the tips here: What to Do If Your Ex Wants Sex (If You Want Them Back) and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. Okay? Take care!

      Reply
  69. Stephan
    Stephan says:

    Hi Brad, I have a story to tell about my relationship. Hope that you can tell me am I doing this right or not. I am a lesbian / tom.

    9 months ago I started to get to know a girl (straight girl) from an online website. We started to get and clicked with each other very quickly (messaged each other daily) and started to meet up after 2 weeks. Since then we have even meetups more frequently (at least twice a week) for the last 9 months.

    But things got a dramatics change after we have got our 1st serious argument 3 months ago. She started to treat me a little cold and started criticizing or blaming things on my actions and behaviors towards her making her feeling uncomfortable to be with me, but still we did go out together and still do enjoy the company. Just each time she will have things to criticize on and I just bear it with me as I really do cherish her. But things gotten bad last week where we had our biggest argument and she has been ignoring me.

    Within this 9 months, actually I have been doing my best liked when she needs company, I will apply for leave to accompany her, when she needs help to get the things she needed urgently, I will go search and get it immediately for her, when she needed a listener and brought her around when her colleague makes her sad. I really don’t know where did I go wrong for being a friend and in the end I have got that the saying from her that our mindset are not in sync and I cracked her nerves.

    Please advice what should I do.

    P.S. :
    I would give up anything just to get her back. Many of my friends would say that she is definitely a bad influence which is just being a self-centered person. To me, she is someone whom did listen to me when I am being grumpy on things happening around me and did think hard to help me find solutions (though she might sometimes putting it in a hard way).

    Throughout this 9 months, actually we have been messaging without even missing a day. Honestly, I don’t think there will be a friend who will be there whenever you wanted someone to talk to but she is there all the time to listen to me.

    Please help me. It’s gonna be our 1st anniversary of the relationship in another 3 days. I really wanna celebrate that with her.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Stephan. I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation as well. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  70. Marcos
    Marcos says:

    Hello Brad. My ex broke up with me about a month ago. We were together for a year, but on and off for the last three. Ever since the breakup, we’ve spoken maybe 8 times, half of them nonchalantly and half of them (maybe more than 4 actually) was me trying to ask for a second chance, and kind of beg for rekindling. Last time we spoke was about a week ago, when I called her to tell her I no longer have feelings for her (false). She texted me the other day telling me she feels offended by what I told her ( I told her I didn’t believe she loves me still, as she says, and that I am the most important person in her life, as she says) and that she wants me to be part of her life, although neither as a friend, nor as a couple. We spoke on the phone, and two days after that I called just to speak, the conversation escalated and we had a fight cause I was trying to make her tell me we are just friends and tried acting ”cool” by asking how her love life is. Ever since we haven’t spoken, although she did like some facebook posts from me. Her friends keep giving me hope, but I’m afraid I messed up and I lost her completely. What do you think I should do? Thanks for your time.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Marcos, part of the charm to do the “no contact” rule and why I’m repeating myself like a broken record in following this very important rule is to avoid the scenario you’ve just described between you and your ex. Silence is way better than having those lovely conversations with your ex. Sarcasm aside, you really ought to learn to give it time and space, man. I hate to say this to anyone but the situation is likely gonna get worse if you don’t cut off contact, okay? Do so for at least a month or more, especially factoring all the talk you had post breakup. Regardless of how cool you act, if you’re really forcing things to go your way, then it’s not likely gonna happen, man. Watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology tricks and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise. Good luck!

      Reply
  71. Margarita
    Margarita says:

    Hi Brad, my boyfriend broke up with me 5 days ago. He is working full time and studying also, he said he feels really bad because i am so good to him and a good girlfirend and he doesn’t have the time to give me that I deserve. Ive never put pressure on him that he is obligated to see me, pulled him back from whatever he wants to do with his career or anything like that, ive been supportive all through the relationship but he says that it makes him feel even worse because he feels like a bad boyfriend. I dont understand if i am so amazing and he loves me as he said when we broke up, why would he make that desicion? I initiated the no contact phase since we broke up, he has sent me one text and said he understands if I didnt respond to him. I dont know what to do, I keep asking myself why would he breakup I didnt even do anything wrong, i just loved and supported him. Please help me Brad. 🙁

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there, Margarita! Sorry to hear about the breakup. I suggest you let him miss you first, all right? If he feels bad about himself about not being good enough for you, then that’s his issue… and not yours to deal with. Give him time to really think things through. The important thing is to let him feel what it’s like NOT to have you in his life, so even though it’s really tempting to contact him, cut off contact for at least a month, okay? Take care!

      Reply
  72. Lara
    Lara says:

    Hi Brad, I recently went through a breakup 10 days ago. When I feel rejected, I naturally withdraw rather than keep texting, calling etc. However, I still initiated the ‘no contact phase’ as I definitely don’t want to be just ‘friends’. My ex boyfriend has been texting repeatedly, which started off nice (“Hi, how are you?”), and then went to concerned (“Are you ok?”, “Please let me know you are ok, I’m very worried?”), then finally to anger (“Why are you ignoring me???!!!”). I don’t want to break the no contact rule, but I’m also worried that I’ve made things worse by ignoring any genuine concerns. Should I still keep blatantly ignoring him and pushing him away? Our relationship was also long distance and neither of us use social media, which makes things a little more difficult.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Lara, You’re right in not wanting to be friends with him. Simply tell your ex you don’t want to be “just friends” … and then return to the “no contact” rule, okay? Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively, at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”)
      and follow the tips here: Escaping Your Ex’s “Friendzone”

      Reply
      • Lara
        Lara says:

        Hi Brad, I text back using the example in your video and resumed the ‘no contact phase’. I haven’t heard from him at all since. Is this a sign that I will never hear from him again and that I should just count my losses? Thank you

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          This all depends on how long you’ve been broken up and other factors. What steps have you taken to get him back and are you sure you’re not trying to rush it? Be sure to follow the 30-day “no contact” rule first and then transition to the second and third phases mentioned in the guide. If you want to gauge your chances of getting him back, take the free quiz on this site and answer as honestly as possible. If you’ve been trying for a few months, however and are pretty positive that you’ve done all the right steps but still getting little to no result, then watch this: Is it Hopeless? When to Give Up Trying to Get Your Ex Back. Good luck!

          Reply
  73. Natasha
    Natasha says:

    Hi Brad, I’m new to your company. My boyfriend recently broke up with me because he said I neglected his feelings and wasn’t there for him when he needed me as was too self absorbed in my own hurts.

    He said he doesn’t love me or want the relationship anymore but he can be there for me as a friend. But I suggested a time out and it didn’t work. He was hot and cold during the time out and ultimately he just burst and said he wants it. It has been 2 days since the breakup but a week since everything started.

    We are talking but much lesser now.
    I feel like that if I do the 31 days no contact, he will feel like I totally do not care about his feelings or him and isn’t changing.

    I know I need to focus on myself and change to be a better person for myself. So that i can better the relationship in future.

    But how do I talk to him now or what should I do? Please help, I don’t know what to do and it hurts thinking he might be liking another girl (I mean idk but from his fb page it looks like it)

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Natasha, sorry to hear about the breakup… but don’t do a timeout or a break or anything to prolong the inevitable. Doing so is similar to doing a bandaid as a remedy and slowly pulling it off. I suggest you give your ex the chance to miss you instead, okay? How long have you been in a relationship with him? Anyway your best bet if you want him back is to cut off contact, so be sure to give him the time and space to miss you first, all right? Space also gets you to a clearheaded level of thinking so hang in there and stay strong! Watch this: Will Your Ex Forget About You During No Contact?

      Reply
  74. katia
    katia says:

    hey
    i broke up with my boyfriend 6 months ago he left me without a reason then he came back like nothing happen he wanted to get back together but im afraid he will leave me again even i love him he call me on the phone he said that he never loved me and he has a new girlfriend but he always wants to get back together help me

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi! So he wants to have two girlfriends? This isn’t the guy for you if you’re looking for a committed relationship. The best course of action for you right now would be to leave him be and let him figure out who he really wants to be with, okay? Otherwise, you’d get sucked in to all this drama associated with love triangle. Don’t be his friend and use your time to work on your own life instead. Good luck and I hope you find the right guy for you soon!

      Reply
  75. katy
    katy says:

    hello brad.new to your company.
    i was in a relatinoship 2 months i was so deeply in love with my ex he left me without a reason then he came back to me like nothing happen he wanted to get back togethet but im afraid he will leave me again so i said no , even i love him he texted me 5 months to get back again one day he call me on the phone he said that he has new girlfriend that he never loved me i dont understand him sometimes he said he love me then ignore me please help me im in pain

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Take his word for it because if he’s being flakey with his words, then that’s not likely gonna change. How old is this guy? He doesn’t seem to be in a place where he’s ready for a committed relationship yet, so don’t take this too seriously at all, all right? Sorry to hear you’re going through this, though…but I suggest letting him go as he’d likely be back. Don’t be too available to him when he comes back, okay? He has to earn otherwise, he’s never gonna give the respect that you deserve. Take care!

      Reply
  76. chinney
    chinney says:

    Hi brad, my boyfriend wants a break up but i begged and pleaded. we’ve been in cool off several times but it doesn’t last for a month and still he don’t want to give it a second chance. But since that cool off, he now talk to me in a nicer way and sometimes a little bit sweet but wants us to be just friends but i don’t accept and insist a cool off. Now we are in a cool off situation again. Does the no contact rule can still be applicable?

    Reply
  77. John
    John says:

    Hi Brad,new to your company.
    2 months ago,my girlfriend dumbed me.I am teared since,but have started to think positively lately,with all the info that you share with all of us.And yes,even though we were in a long distance relationship,i do want her back.
    She has a lot of photos of us together and i want to have them too.A month ago,that i asked her to send them,she denied and said that she didn’t want to,because she was feeling my pressure to have her back.I plan on sending her a memory stick to load our photos,and send her some photos of ours that i only have.My question is,when and how do you suggest i should ask her again?We are now in the 20th day of no contact,and i don’t want to make any more mistakes.
    And,is the idea of asking her our photos bad in the first place?
    Thank you in advance Brad!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, John. Sorry to hear about the breakup. If she hasn’t particularly warmed up to you yet, then it’s important to take a full step back and stop asking her to share photos. What’s important is you’ve already voiced out your request in asking for it, so give her time to come up with her own decision without feeling pressured from you, okay? DON’T send the memory stick as that will only make her feel trapped and left with no choice, and it’s a bad idea as this will make you seem pushy. Let her approach you first, okay? Watch this to learn some more tips: How to Get Your Ex Back in a Long Distance Relationship. Good luck!

      Reply
      • John
        John says:

        Thanks a lot Brad!I hope everything goes well,for me and for all the other that want their ex back.
        If you want it badly,it can happen.Do not lose hope!Life is full of possibilities and surprises!

        Reply
  78. Paige
    Paige says:

    Hi Brad, I am unsure what to do.
    My situation: my boyfriend went away for a university presentation trip for a week (most of his friends were also on the trip). He came back and the first thing he did was end things with me, saying he felt hallow. I was broken, and did not see this coming. I occasionally would get upset and felt excluded from his life, but he did not indicate things bothering him, rather that he didn’t want to make me feel that way. We have both now graduated from university, and I understand this is a huge mile stone that could have set this off.
    I waited a week and called him to have a conversation, after it I made the mistake of saying I miss him and wanted to talk about it. He said he wasn’t ready and didn’t want to do it yet. Which I respect. After a few days I did one of your text tips (without knowing it),and I sent him a light, positive thoughtful message with no intention of a reply.
    I have written a letter explaining and trying to understand etc. and I want to give it to him… I would prefer in person but should I mail it to him?
    It has now been two weeks… the longest two weeks since the “breakup”. Do I wait another two weeks before trying any form of communication again?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      The “no contact” rule for 30 days means you don’t communicate with your ex, so a letter is a very bad idea as that would just scream desperation. Asking him to talk about it was a mistake as well. Learn to back off completely for a good while, okay? Restart the “no contact” rule for another 30 days until there’s COMPLETELY no contact (light message or not) between you two. Watch this for more tips: How to Not Get Your Ex Back (The Most Common Mistakes). Take care!

      Reply
  79. kelly
    kelly says:

    Hi brad, i have a big agrument with my ex in Jan. We were together for 6 months.We are long distance relationship.We have no contact with each other for 3 months, after 3 months he texted me’ we should break up’ in Apirl. After, we took a conversation on phone. He think that we can not go back the past, and our love is dead because we did not have contact for 3 months.I think he is moving on and would not look back anymore. The most improtant thing is he knows that i still love him even i did not beg him to stay during the phone call.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      An argument that has been stretched out for three months, with neither of you doing anything about it, isn’t a healthy relationship at all. It shows through BOTH your actions the level of commitment you had for this relationship, which is zero. Anyway what was the argument about? I hate to be the bearer of bad news but consider moving on from this, all right? A relationship with that kind of dynamic won’t survive the long haul, coupled with the fact that a long distance relationship is already challenging to begin with. Watch this to know what to expect: How to Get Your Ex Back in a Long Distance Relationship. Take care and I hope you find the right guy for you soon!

      Reply
  80. francisco
    francisco says:

    Hello Brad, it has been almost a year since my ex and I broke up . I did some things after the break up that pushed her away and then I did some more stuff that should of sealed the deal but wierdly enough it brought her closer for a while sort of like on again off again. long story short after the break up i broke her heart 3 times and broke the trust but even after all that she came back wants to be fwb asked me to move back in but is now cold and distant. I need your help. How do I apply the no contact rule if we still share the same bed?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Francisco, sorry to hear about the breakup. Three times? How exactly did that happen? Was there cheating/lying involved? If so, then that’s handled a bit differently compared to where those things aren’t involved. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

      Reply
  81. Emily
    Emily says:

    Hey Brad, It has not been long since my ex Boyfriend has broken up with me, It has been about 2-4 weeks since we broke up and he dumped me during the Easter holidays and later on we have been in a few arguments recently but we still message eachother but then a few weeks later and when we went back to school I started begging and pleading and now I have just started the no contact rule and I am on my 2nd/30 day and I accidentily got my friend to ask my ex of he wanted to go back out with me or not and he said “No” and now I know that begging and pleading will push my ex only further away will it effect the no, Contact rule? Thanks Brad, Emily,

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Emily, no it won’t affect the “no contact” rule but making these mistakes may have had put a dent in your chances…it may not be all doom and gloom, though, but try to be mindful next time and NOT make any of these mistakes anymore, all right? Try to stick to the “no contact” rule this time, man. A situation with an ex is fragile, so you’d really want to omit, if not minimize these mistakes, okay? There are no unlimited chances with an ex, so if you can do it right moving forward, then do so. Take care!

      Reply
  82. stuckey
    stuckey says:

    Hi Brad,
    I am in situation where wife found out I cheated. I left other person and want wife back but we have 2 kids and still live together. Wife wants to divorce but will stay to try for kids for a little a while.
    How would “no contact” work when you have to live with your spouse with kids? it is unavoidable to talk to her and being emotionally distant will likely make things worst. thanks for reply in advance.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey there! Sorry to hear that. You’re right, cutting off contact in your situation is an exemption. Now granted how there has been cheating involved, actually puts a twist to your situation as you can imagine. The consequences cannot be ignored, however, this isn’t to say that all hope is lost. Your wife likely just needs time and space to deal and process all this, okay? Just give her your most sincere apology and STOP pushing the subject. Let her feel like you understand and take responsibility for your own actions and continue to NOT deal with this other woman anymore, all right? This takes time and depending on your wife’s personality, could take months for her to forgive or more — that’s just the reality of life. To ease up your situation and know that you’re on the right track in your marriage, you may sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help you see and address the deeper issues in your marriage… as well as how to avoid cheating in the future. Talk soon!

      Reply
  83. Jason
    Jason says:

    Hey Brad, had an 8.5 year relationship and 4 year old son, we both have never had a huge connection, she went through 2 years of back surgerys from car accident, 1.7years ago i fought and beat bowel cancer then went into depression, we had a huge fight 5th december 2015, from there she strung me along saying shes finding her feeling and so on, i chased her, spoke with her family and friends…. Stupidly. Then she wanted to discuss money from speration and she got lawyers involved.. I would never discuss money. Last 5 weeks theres been no talk of money and lawyers but i still chased till last week, her hate and anger are gone but she goes out her way to tell my friends how happy she is now..
    Whats your thoughts?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Jason, sorry to hear that. I suggest to really STOP with the chasing, though. The more you chase, the more she runs away. This is why I always suggest to leave her be for at least a month, okay? This is what the “no contact” rule is about since you need to give each other time and space. You may not be able to fully do this rule because of your son, but at the very least, try to avoid any unnecessary chitchat, all right? Use this time to work on yourself and focus your attention somewhere else other than your wife right now. Watch this, first: How to Save Your Marriage & Stop Divorce. Good luck!

      Reply
  84. Margot
    Margot says:

    Hello,
    my boyfriend and I were together for 2 years and lived together. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago and although in the beginning I begged for another opportunity, I decided to apply the “No contact” for almost 2 weeks now. But times have been confusing to me… We had an amazing relationship, at least I thought so. We were very open with each other and shared the same dreams and goals together. Until three weeks ago he came to me and said he didn’t love me anymore and felt this way for a few months already. I mean, his actions, his eyes, his words never reflected this, but maybe I was completely blind with love. Looking back. we were feeling pressured with the amount of work and responsibilities, I was starting to feel insecure about myself and he was very anxious because of financial problems and about his future since he is moving abroad next year for a master degree, but we discussed that situation many times and he assured me that we were going to fight for us because we had something very special between us and he couldn’t picture his life with anyone else. I was living my dream. Anyway, a few days before he broke up with me he went to a competition in a different city, when he came back he said he had changed along with his dreams, I couldn’t understand what he meant until last week I found he started dating another girl he met during those 2 days… He said she wasn’t the reason we broke up, he just wanted to be alone and not have the pressure of any serious relationship now, his friends told me it wasn’t anything serious, but honestly I don’t know, I mean it was strong enough to end our relationship. I knew pretty well this guy and never thought he would do anything like this… He has been a wall to me, very distant and cold. We meet each other occasionally because we are at the same university. I really want to fight for him, but I seriously don’t know if it is worth it or if I stand a chance. I still have strong feelings towards this man and I respect him tremendously although his actions in the last few days. I know an incredible person behind those actions, but he said that person is dead… I have been trying not to judge him, not to hear anything everyone has to say about him, it’s pretty hurtful. I felt (feel) he was the one. I have been working really hard on my insecurities, have already lost the weight I gained, started meditation, yoga, eating well, volunteering. I have done this for me, for a new and healthier me, but I feel he doesn’t even care, just keeps ignoring me. I know now that he wasn’t entirely honest about his true feelings, but it is so confusing to trust this new person that speaks to me as if he was speaking to a wall without any emotion on his eyes, voice… The same person that used to say he respected me above all things in the universe, wrote the most beautiful poems to me, held me with all his strength. I still love him, all his faults and qualities, or at least the memory I have of him. I don’t know if this new girl is serious to him, or if she’s only filling an empty space in his life. He asked me to stay friends but I don’t know if he was serious about that as well.. I just wanted him to see this new and healthier me. I miss his love and friendship, I never met anyone like him. Also don’t know how or when I should contact him, I am willing to give him and myself the space and time we need, but I still have dreams, just don’t know if I should hold on to them…

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, Margot. I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  85. Danny
    Danny says:

    Hello Brad,

    My Boyfriend and I were together for 6 months crazy, madly in love with each other. Unfourtunatly for the past month he’s been having issues with depression. Two weeks ago he said: “I need as my friend right now becuase I’m scared you are going to get hurt” I asked: “Do you need me to step aside from your life right now?” He said : “No! I need you but as my friend.” “I said okay if that’s what you need “.
    All this conversation ocured on a Tuesday night, by Thursday he texted “Hey How’re you doing?” I was very dry with my response since I was atemmpting to do the 30 day No contact rule. That following Saturday he texted the same again:”Hey How’re you doing?” this time I waited three hours to give him a response, during those three hours I got texts from him like: ?? (at least three times) and then he texted as he wasnt hearing back from me (I would never keep him waiting that long when we were together): Are you okay? I gave a dry response due to how sensitive and vulnerable he’s been with depression lately. Exactley a week after the “break up” I was upset with the situation in general (anger , depression as expected in a Breakup). I made the mistake by calling him out via text message about something he did two weeks before the breakup. He lashed out saying : “Don’t ever acusse me of lying again! and for that matter Never contact me again! Have a nice Life” Unfriended me from Facebook (but didn’t block me) . He had never lashed out on me that way before and he completly misunderstood my text. To be honest in our 6 month relationship it was our very first “Big Fight”. Anyways I started the 30 day no contact count all over again. So far in the ten days of “no contact” I have not heard from him. Maybe he’s expecting me to call and beg for forgivness which I will not do! I know that everything he said was the depression talking and he didn’t mean it. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves me and cares about me, actions speak louder than words.
    My question is : Since he is mad at me and I still have 20 days left of “no contact” If I don’t hear from him in those 20 days left, What would be the best way to aproach him? Text? Phone call?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Danny, I hate to be the bearer of bad news here but you’ve somehow been demoted from girlfriend to “friend” here and that’s a red flag which can’t be ignored. I suggest you cut off contact COMPLETELY, okay? Responding in a “dry” manner won’t help and will only cause resentment to build up further, if not totally wreak more havoc, as your case here. Use this time wisely instead and work on yourself, let him miss you. Okay? Watch this: How to Make Your Ex Miss You. Also read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. Take care!

      Reply
  86. Adam
    Adam says:

    Dear Brad,

    I’m at a loss and dont no if it’s to late!!!

    I took your quiz which I scored 64% and needed to move quick.

    In 2013 I met the girl of my dreams, the one. We met at work and both had partners with kids but we were besotted with each other, we both fell for each other big style. Everyday even apart in our other life we could talk for hours and talk about all our plans and dreams.
    Our situations away from each other continued even though both of us did not go near are partners we were so in love.
    I know this sounds like a common affair, but this was more so much more then this. That’s why I’m here now trying to fight for it.
    Trying to shortening the story down. Last year mid June July when I thought we were still going strong she said she no longer wanted to sex at her house which was our only place to be together and share those moments together. As hard as it was I understood because I didn’t want her to have anymore hassles at home. We still met up took walks in the park still to show that affection. In all of this I had moved out and lived with my mum for a year waiting for the right time.

    That was the problem it wasn’t easy and never seemed the right time. She would say that’s do this lets just run but me with my practical head on kept saying you need to leave your partner first?
    As a result of this something I’ve heard since things have gone wrong isweshouldhave taken a chance? But I don’t believe that chance was there at the time.
    Of course then we stopped seeing each other but we would talk on the phone and the phonecalls would just lead me to ask her was I a mistake ? She would reply no!
    Did everything we said and done together mean nothing to you? She would reply never said that leaving me confused. Was there more to this? I started believing possibly was there someone else at work trying there luck making me increasingly paranoid and insecure causing more arguments .
    I’m desperate about this girl but have a gut feeling there could be someone or perhaps I’m just over analysing as mentioned in your video.
    I know she’s not the type deep down but I feel I may have over stepped the mark?

    I came across your youtube videos and since the 5th of April our last telephone call which ended in an argument I’ve tried to adopt the no contact rule but I don’t no if I need to something.

    Can you help please i m desperate I don’t want to lose this girl I know she’s the one. I just need to remember how good we were together

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey, Adam. I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  87. Messed up
    Messed up says:

    Hi brad, me and my girlfriend of 2 and a half years broke up today. She says that ive been emotionally abusing her that she doesnt love me anymore. Ive pleaded and told her that ill get help and change but she just keeps saying that she knows. Im not sure what to do so I want to try the no contact rule. At the same time im not sure. We used to text all the time so I feel like me suddenly leaving would provoke some feeling of lose with her but im not sure. I would fix my problems during this period, I would just like any advice you have to offer.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Get help with what and change what, exactly? If you think you need to work on yourself because you exhibit traits that are “undateable” for lack of better term, then it may be time to re-prioritize stuff in your life. What I mean by this is a relationship may not be what you need right now, man. So in essence, focus on the most important person in your life right now: you. Cut off contact until you’ve sort out whatever issues you’ve been referring to because these take time, so focus on yourself. Okay? Take care and Good luck!

      Reply
  88. Brokenharted
    Brokenharted says:

    Dear Brad,

    My husband is about to leave me after more than 15 years of relationship for an exgirlfriend. He has not told it to me yet, just that he ‘needs some time’. I do not think that the no contact strategy would work in my case, as we are still living together, and both pretending that we have a normal life. But I know that he already plans living with the other woman (after a month), and rejects my attempts coldly to rebuild our relationship. I seems just a matter of very short time, that he would leave. I am frozen, and cannot be easy, funny and attractive to show him what he would lose.

    Could you please advice what to do?

    Reply
  89. Presly
    Presly says:

    hi brad , i love ur exfactor program . thank u for guiding us . me and my boyfriend is in distant relationship .recently v had breakup and i maintained no contact he came back within 2 months. now the issue is ,I accepted as soon as he said he want me as his wife . is this correct ? he is not spending time with me . we were in an on/off relationship. please suggest me how to reattract him ? how to make him to talk about marriage. he says dont talk abt past. He also says whatever we are gonna fight and separate . when ask him abt this he says if we are not fighting means we can join in life tats wat d meaning . im afraid guide me

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there, Presly. Him coming back with a proposal for marriage after a breakup was rather alarming and the fact that you accepted is neither right nor wrong, it’s your feelings after all. I suggest you use this time (and space) to see what’s causing this on-again, off-again dynamic in your relationship since that can be taxing as well. As a general advice, though, if you’ve just re-established contact, it’s best NOT to talk about marriage yet. Don’t rush it. Good luck!

      Reply
  90. Ricky The Man
    Ricky The Man says:

    Does No Contact start when they message you? I was begging her to try things again and I asked her out to talk as we were going to but I canceled. She said she was busy and never got back to me again. Then just monday she said hey its been awhile how are you?

    I didnt want to reply so does that mean NC started Monday?

    Thanks Brad your videos are the best!

    Reply
  91. sunil
    sunil says:

    hi Brad my ex and i broke up over 2 months ago and we were in serious relationship for 2 and half yrs. After breakup there was no meetings or personal contact though we used to keep in touch through emails and messages but that was once in while and conversations were not so great, very formal types like hi how u doing types. Reading ur article helped me gain my composure otherwise i was almost on the verge of losing my sanity. Now i implemented no contact period of 30 days and it so happened that on 6th day of my no contact period my ex called me and after repeated calls she messaged me. i msged her back saying am kind of busy right now i will get back to u once am free. Now it so happened that after few days she put a pic of herself where she has taken a ‘selfie’ with some guy and made that pic her whatsapp profile pic. Now what am suppose to make of it ? did she deliberately put that pic cause she wants to invoke jealousy in me and react in a certain way ? Brad help me out a little here cause if she is trying to make me jealous i will b happy cause it will mean she still has feelings for me right ? because there is no close proximity between them in that pic..their heads are touching, but on 2nd thoughts it might be that she is trying to indicate something..like she has moved on. how do i deal with this situation Brad should i also put a pic of myself where am with my beautiful female friend? but then that would seem like “tit for tat” situation….no matter how positive minded i stay insecurity creeps into me in such situations cause its happening with me for the first time and i dont know who that guy is .I haven’t asked her about it and even if i go to ask i know she wont tell me or reply to my msg cause me asking her about who that guy is would mean putting the ball in her court and giving her the advantage over me..HELP me BRAD !

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Sunil, sorry to hear about the breakup. I suggest not to overanalyze things, though. Racking your brains on what her actions meant will only give you a headache, and there’s no real way to verify the information you had in your mind anyway, without appearing like a creepy stalker or downright desperate. Sorry, I know it sounds harsh but I feel it’s what you needed to hear. Cut off contact for at least a month instead and try not to look at her profile. Focus on yourself instead. All right? After the “no contact” period, there is a way to rebuild the mutual attraction. Unfortunately I can’t explain it all on here since it’s all 130+ pages. Check out my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and contains what you ought to be doing at certain points, what to say, as well as the timing, etc. This video is for your reference: How to Not Win Your Ex Back.

      Reply
  92. Jonita
    Jonita says:

    Hey Brad,
    I had been with my boyfriend for nearly a year when he broke up with over an argument. I said things that were out of line and regretted my actions straight after, since then he has been ignoring me. So I went to his house a week later to see if I could apologise but when he saw me he was extremely angry told me he didn’t love me no more & I should move on as he don’t go back.
    I made the mistake with bombarding with messages after as I had never seen him that angry, i repeatly apologise but he told me to leave him alone as he thought I was fake. After that failed I tried to get my stuff from his house by messaging him but he was being difficult then he blocked me on WhatsApp to only unblock me the next day and keep changing his dp and statuses. I decided to implement the nc rule for a month, then I contacted him again on the 31st day. I thanked him for the time apart and said we need to talk but he replied saying there ain’t nothing to talk about and how I should do me and let him do him. From that I could tell he was still angry with me so I asked for my stuff at his house but he ignored me, then blocked me from WhatsApp to only unblock me again the next day. I don’t know what game he is playing or what to think anymore as I still don’t have my stuff still, although he has unblocked me and keeps changing his dp. I have decided to not message him again. I do still love him hence why I have been patience but don’t want to keep looking like I am desperate. Please I would really appreciate your advice.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Jonita, sorry to hear about the breakup. As you’ve witnessed firsthand, constantly pestering your ex never leads to anything good. This is why it’s so important — and I couldn’t emphasize this enough — to cut off contact right away for at least a month, all right? You ought to let the situation simmer down first and let him miss you in the process. The space and time apart will also help you both to start thinking clearly so you don’t overreact or end up adding fuel to the fire. This video is for you as you need to be aware of these: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back and How to Make Your Ex miss You. Good luck!

      Reply
  93. Anonymous love
    Anonymous love says:

    Hi Brad my ex girlfriend decided she wanted to take a break . I was really hurt because she seemed to change and I feel it’s my fault. One night we fought over my phone. I lost my temper and broke up with her. But I didn’t mean to break up with her. We was still living together. I tried to make things right. She started to not care about our relationship. She wanted to take a break. We stopped talking for 3-4 days. I felt so stupid for losing her. 3-4 days without talking I was figureing out all the bad things I done. Not giving her my full attention, not showing her my love and affection. My feelings changed I feel like I care about her so much and it hurts to lose her. We been together for 2 years. We started talking again I bought her a rose and wrote a letter to her showing everything I love about her. We tried to start over but maybe it was to soon. Her feelings towards me is like is she’s numb. We broke up again 2 days ago. She’s been going through a lot feeling overwhelm and stress with 2 jobs, family, being a mother, moving, finding a new car and a way to get to work, and dealing with our relationship like she has no time for us. She said “I love and care about you too I know that I want to be close with you still but for some reason my feelings aren’t the same.” I was really hurt. I agreed I told her we should take a break. I want to give her space. My feelings for her is like I love her even more than ever and I was trying to be a better person supporting her, showing my love and affection towards her and giving her more of my time. But now that we’re broken up again and I’m trying this no contact thing again but it’s hard. She says she needs time to find her self again. Is wrong for trying to help her through these difficult times she’s going through? Her Birthday is coming up. Can I still text her Happy Birthday? Would it be wrong to give her a gift? How can I get our love back to how we used to be. Why did our love fade?Will things ever get better between us? How did she lose interest in me. Am I boring to her now?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, sorry to hear about the breakup. First things first, know that it’s never entirely your fault, so don’t be so hard on yourself, okay? A breakup is almost always caused by BOTH people in it. If you broke up with her by mistake, though, then you definitely need to work on your temper, man. She may have lost interest because you’ve let your anger take over, and that’s never cool. Try to work on that, okay? Giving each other space can certainly help since it will help you pinpoint stuff as to where things started going wrong. Read this, too: What to Do With If You Broke Up With Your Ex… & Totally Regret It. Good luck!

      Reply
  94. anonymous E
    anonymous E says:

    Hey Brad I’m wondering if you can help me. My ex girlfriend wanted to take a break she says she loves me and cares for me and still want to be close to me but for some reason her feelings aren’t the same she says. I know that she has been feeling overwhelmed and stressed these past couple months with stuff like family, moving, school, being a mom, being in debt, not having a car to go to work and our relationship. I agreed with her on taking a break. Though I want to be there for her in these tough times. I showed her a lot of support through these difficult times. Now I’m trying to have no contact with her and give her space. We was supposed to move together to a new place but now she wants to live separate. I don’t understand why she won’t let me help her. Her birthday is coming up would it be bad to text her Happy Birthday. Is wrong to get her a gift? I’m just wondering why she won’t let me help her. Why does it seem she stop caring about us? she don’t have the same feelings for me as before. We been together for 2 years. Will things get better between us?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey there, sorry to hear about the breakup. Cut off contact for around a month and use the time and space to re-evaluate your relationship from an objective perspective, so try not to let feelings get in the way. Being apart and not contacting each other will also help you avoid being disillusioned and really get you BOTH to start thinking clearly. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s always possible — a lot of people I coach has done it. It’s too soon to draw a conclusion now but if you need my help in assessing your relationship, you can always sign up for my coaching program, that way, I can take a look at all the factors at play here and guide you and monitor your situation on a regular basis. Talk soon!

      Reply
  95. Sherley
    Sherley says:

    Hey Brad
    Me and my ex broke up last month. When things got heated I always went emotional but we always worked it out. We were in a distance relationship for 6 months. We were arguing about something but I let it go and we didn’t communicate for 3 days then I found out he was in my city without telling me. He did that once and lied to me about. So I was mad and angry that he didn’t tell me so I asked him if he still wanted the relationship to continued or not bt he didn’t say anything I begged him to give me a No or a Yes answer and I told him it didn’t matter what the answer might be. I just wanted an answer. He ignored me completely I sent him bunch of desperate and crazy text messages. I said a lot of bad things to him and called him names. He still didn’t give me answer. Since he didn’t give me answer I moved on with my life I stopped sending him messages and it’s been over a month with no contact. I’m just confused on why he couldn’t give me a clear answer instead of ignoring me. Like what kind of man who does that?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      He may be ignoring you due to the drama. I’m not sure how it all played out, but it’s possible he may have felt attacked when you acted out. Give it some time and space first for you both to calm down, all right? You mentioned this was a long distance relationship. How long have you been able to spend time together within the 6-month period? That plays a role, too. Watch this: How to Get Your Long Distance Ex Back Good luck!

      Reply
  96. zainab
    zainab says:

    hi..i am really in need of ur advice
    i was in a 5 year relationship wid my bf.evrythng was just ok..frm the last 5 months i was like in a state of depression..due to my constant health prblms,i was not well..and most importantly my studies..i had not qualified various medical exams after hard efforts..day by day i was getting more and more irritating..but each and everything i used to explain him..in my mind there was just negativity..and i was just dependent on him..evn if one day,he cud not contact me..it was like hell fr me..i used to get desperate..i thought he wil undrstand me..make things better..nd will try to do smthng fr me..but no..ome day..he said i cant make u understand more..jst leav me..ot was like a shock fr me..i cried,tried evrythng..to make him undrstnd..that it was all bcz of my cnditn..i had nt done on my own..plz dnt do dus..i need u..but..he left..today is 38th day..he evn did nt askd me hw i am..evn nt a single text..i use to msg him almost everyday..he has blockd ol my num..he was not ths..few years back he was in d same cnditn but i handled him wid care and love..today whn i am evn in a more wosre state he left..i knw…i was smewht irritatng..very pathetic these days..but ol i want was his attention,care..but evryday i felt like no one is wid me..now i cnt focus on anythng..i lovd him a lott..i dnt knw wgat to do..
    plzzzzzzz help me

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that and I hope for your full recovery soon. I understand that you’re in pain and in shock of all this happening since you’ve supported him when he was at a low point in his life. however, it’s best to try to be less dependent on him since it’s very likely making him feel pressured, all right? Overall I suggest to NOT be too dependent on him, in general, don’t depend or rely on a relationship to make you happy; you’re giving away too much of your power and it’s no surprise you feel powerless now. This can be turned around to your favour, though, if you learn to stay calm and NOT do any of the mistakes I wrote here. Pay attention to the stuff I talked about here as well: 5 Mistakes that Could Ruin Your Chances… so make sure to cut off contact for at least a month first, okay? Take care!

      Reply
  97. Milania
    Milania says:

    Hi Brad,

    My ex and I broke things off in August, we have been together almost a year and he had pushed me to say somethings that I did not really mean although it was facts because of the way he had been treating me. We have been through a lot in a short amount of time, and I have apologized several times about what i said but it seems like the truth hurt and now it’s stuck in his head and thats all he ever brings up. I have seen him once since the break up back in september and he made it seem like we were going to work on things but then completely disappeared for a week. Now he plays hot & cold and i have not seen him since our last encounter in September. When i did see him he seemed so genuine and acted like he really loved me. We still talk on occasion over phone/text but it’s usually me that initiates any contact. He tells me he loves me and misses me and when i ask why we cant be together he says he is confused.. bla bla the last conversation i had with him i asked if there is ever a chance of us working things out and he said yes but we need to figure things out, so i let him know that i dont want to be stuck in a recycled phase and that he needs to either meet up with me to talk or to let me go. He has not replied and it will be a week on Wednesday since i have told him that. My whole thing is why do his words not match his actions. He does not want to see me to talk, wont give me closure, but yet will randomly text me i love you, i miss you, we used to have so much fun until you put me down bla bla.. mind you he is not innocent AT ALL, and alot of our issues came from his end not mine. He also has a good way of making it seem like its my fault and playing blame game on me like i did something wrong when i feel like i am the best he has ever had, or will get, and no girl would be patient the way i have for his bullshit. So what do you think i should do? I love him and we had a lot of good times together but i feel like i am on this emotional roller coaster ride, and i cant understand why he wont tell me to move on but at the same time will still play in like he cares? I am so confused, and I dont understand why these games need to be played when I can be such a rational person, if he would just take the time to meet up and talk.?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      A breakup and most problems are usually contributed by both people in the relationship; it’s rarely (almost never) just one person’s fault, so there’s really no point in either or both of you pointing fingers, all right? 🙂 It will only create more drama and is damaging your relationship more. Since things have been negative for quite a long time now, I really suggest that you both ought to cut off communication first, okay? Allow at least some of the negativity to dissipate so you’ll both get a clearer perspective. Give each other space for at least a month since this will both give you chance to interact in a more rational manner and not let emotions take over. This is important, otherwise, another fight might ensue and you’d both end up feeling like things aren’t getting anywhere. Use the time (and space) apart to really evaluate your relationship from an objective perspective and see the real issues. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation and figure out what’s really going on and how you can best proceed forward with your life –with or without him.Good luck!

      Reply
  98. Selena
    Selena says:

    Hi Brad,
    Me and my bf went on a “break” about a month and a half ago. We spoke after 3 weeks and he seemed like he really missed me. He still told me he loved me and missed me. The spark was still there. I made the mistake of sleeping with him before he made a commitment to me. He told me he wanted to be with me but wanted to take things slow … and even said he couldn’t be 100% committed. To me, that means we’re not together. It hurt me. I blocked him on my messenger and gave him all the space he could get. He called last week and I didn’t pick up. He really hurt me, making me open up to him when I didn’t want to talk about things and then later pulling back after I opened up and admitted I still loved him and wanted to be with him. I haven’t heard from him since last week… I’m still angry with him for walking away from me and then acting like he wanted to be with him only to say that he still needed his “space.” That’s why I didn’t pick up his call. But he hasn’t contacted me since… do you think he still wants me back?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Selena, sorry to hear that. I always say that in general, though not in all cases, a break should always be treated as a breakup, though, as it entails more or less the same thing as a breakup. Anyway an ex showing mixed signals (i.e: acting like he wants to be with you, only to get turned down eventually) is very common. Watch the Youtube video I made about this topic: Why Your Ex Gives You the Hot & Cold Treatment (Mixed Messages Explained) I suggest to give each other enough space of AT LEAST a month, okay? Let him miss you and don’t be too available to him, especially during the first month without contact, since that phase ought to be a time dedicated to yourself. Good luck!

      Reply
  99. midi85
    midi85 says:

    I initiated the break up, I have a tendency to break up several times and get back together. he had warned me next time he will break up for good. It happened. But in less then 24 hours he seemed that was what he was looking for all this time. He immediately started texting girls. He even told me he was ok with us being friends with benefits and I could do whatever in the meantime. he keeps telling me that he doesn’t know what the future holds for us but for now he knows he doesn’t want to be together. I did beg for two days and even agreed to be friends with benefits but then I realized he was taking advatange of my being vulnerable and in pain and I told him that. That he was taking advtange of me to feed his ego and to not contact me again. He then called me to tell me he had cancel some flight tickets, I told him “thanks is that all?” then when he started asking why I have ignored the few text messages he sent me and why I had changed, I hung up on him. He sent me a text saying why I was being so rude and he didn’t appreciate that. I didn’t respond. I don’t know if I should be nice and tell him I feel that he took advantage or just leave it as that?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there….I may not know the entire story but going by what you’ve told me, it appears to me that there are clearly underlying issues you both may be too close to see. Start with why you keep breaking it off with him. An on-again, off-again relationship does eventually take its toll, unfortunately. What were the issues in your relationship and how have you both dealt with it? Try to view the situation objectively and see the roles that you both played that led to the final breakup. This may help you decide: Is Your Ex the Right Person For You? (5 Ways to Know for Sure) or sign up for my coaching program so I can help you asses the situation and guide you on a regular basis, including what to do, what to say, etc. and offer advice that is tailored to your situation, okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  100. Sotis
    Sotis says:

    Hello Brad, your work here is great and it really touches my heart,really kudos for doing this mate.
    Sooo here’s my story… i’ve been with this girl for 2~3 years, the thing is, she is young, i was with her since 17 years old ( now she is 20 ) i am 25, we broke up again in the past and got together once again.
    For some reason i think this is the dead end for us, i did some mistakes you mentioned, like calling her the first few days, i even broke her house door where we were hanging out because i thought she was with another dude, but i was wrong,she was with 3 dudes and 3 other girls sitting drinking etc.
    She said she wont ever want to see me again in an aggressive way.
    I repeatadly asked her that if she doesn’t love me anymore to tell it straight, she never said i dont love you and she refused to say it because she still loves me, its been 2 weeks since the incident with the door, we had no contact, she absolutelly doesn’t know what i am doing right now, if i am sitting home crying or going out clubbing etc.
    What i can do more? go out clubbing check in my social media status? get pictures with other females pretending i am fine?
    It breaks my heart not being able to see her, even talk to her, i am dreaming about her every night, this is not getting anywhere.
    The no contact thingy doesn’t seem to work for me 🙁
    She even blocked me on facebook the past week, but from some friends i can see on her profile that she has all of our pictures still, she hasn’t deleted even a single one.
    In the future i am so going to buy your guide, though i dont own a visa card i have to make a paypal account directly from my bank account, your book seems helpful for a lifetime. Great work!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Thank you for the kind words, man! Sorry to hear about the breakup, but also understand that if there’s one person who can help you most, it is yourself. One reason why you don’t think this (no contact) is working is you may not have grasped the idea of why it’s important. I suggest to forgive yourself for acting the way you did and learn from that mistake, okay? That might have really freaked her out, and this is where “cutting off contact” may have helped, instead of obsessing over her and making the situation worse (even though that’s not your intention). At this point, try to focus solely on yourself and not what she’s doing or who she’s with, okay? Not helping yourself NOT be obsessed with her is like shooting yourself in the foot, so realize that and try to do the right things, okay? You’re more in control than you think, so cut off contact for at least a month first. Don’t give all your power away. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but you ought to get yourself together first before you can be in a position to get her back, all right? My Ex Factor Guide can help you out with that so yes, check it out as that’s more in-depth. Watch this, too: Does Ignoring Your Ex Actually Work? Take care!

      Reply
  101. Anonomyoua
    Anonomyoua says:

    My ex broke up with me in aug and said that we were on a break until further notice. I went crazy calling him texting him sending e-mails nothing worked he just ignored me. Finally we met lasf friday he was happu to see me kept complementing me etc. He said that we can be friends. However I played reverse psychology and asked if we could go on a date one day he said sure. Im lost he said that he will see me in a couple of weeks. We been together since we were teenagers were in our e0s now. Seems like he happier and nicer ahenI dont contact him as much. So I dont know anymore. He seems depressed he said hes always tired he doesnt go out as much. We been through this before and always end uo back together. Whats your input.?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      A “break” ought to always be treated as a breakup. If he has acted this way before though, then I’d take that as a red flag. An on-again, off-again relationship can really take its toll eventually, and can often signify that there are issues you both may be too close to see. Anyway I suggest that you back off completely and focus on your own life instead. The time apart should help you think about what’s really happening and possibly, what the real issues are in your relationship. Try to view this from an objective perspective instead of getting overly emotional, okay?I think it’s a bit challenging, but can be done with practice. It’s also a mistake to ask him to get back together, it doesn’t work that way and is almost a guarantee to get turned down. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about this and get a better shot in getting him back. Good luck!

      Reply
  102. Austin clarke
    Austin clarke says:

    Hey Brad, me and my girlfriend were together for just over a month, everything was going so well but at the last few days before we broke up she’s started communicating with me less and less, she was telling me she was busy but I’m not sure, maybe she really was or maybe she was slowly getting bored of me. We did kiss and make out but nothing more than that. The day she dumped me was over text and she says she thinks she wasn’t making me happy and we didn’t see eachother enough due to school and she says it’s all her fault. Also she says she was stressed lately. I’ve pleaded for her to stay together but she says to give up and I am currently on day 3 of the no contact period. I was wondering what you think about this situation please.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, I hate to say this, but this girl may not be as into you as you’d like to think. The last thing you should be doing is to chase or plead for her to come back, so don’t do that. Also consider moving on from this for good, all right? Your goals are clearly not aligned. Good luck,man!

      Reply
  103. Maria
    Maria says:

    I tried buying your thing but obviously New Zealand doesn’t allow overseas transactions on my credit card. We had a mess of fight last Saturday which involved him doing things to him self and I had to call an ambulance. Then he decided all of a sudden he didn’t love me any more. Then he lost his job and has moved out after I requested him to. We have been together for 20 months and I am expecting his baby, we’re five months ago. I have obviously been texting him and calling him a lot and doing those things I’m not supposed to do. I’m trying really hard not to contact him and I’m scared that he will move to his home city which is nine hours drive from here. He says he is no longer in love with me and he doesn’t want to relationship right now and he says he needs time to clear his head and obviously I’m quite emotional. He tells me all the things that I didn’t do and I guess I was just distracted with work and what was going on with me. I’m really confused as to what I should do. Its so hard not to text or contact the guy that you are madly in love with. There are no tips online as to what to do in this situation. I’m scared he will move on and find someone else & forget about us. Can you help?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Maria, sorry to hear about your ex. To be honest, I don’t think he’s fit to be in a relationship yet…If he has tried to harm himself, it’s best to refer him to a medical professional since he may be suffering from depression, especially with everything going on. All right? You can support him if he needs it but understand that you can only do so much, he has to be willing to carry his own load as well. He may realize this if you give him time and space to figure this out. Okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  104. Catherine
    Catherine says:

    Hi Brad, My boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago after 10 monts being together. One month ago he said that he had to think about our relationship because I had failed him with my attitude and things that I said (all of them as a joke). And also that the negative things of me outweigh the positive ones.
    While this month we’ve trying to work it out the relationship, but I didn’t see anything on their part to solve this situacion. Moreover, during this month we’ve lived 600 km away because he returned to his house and don’t know what or where is he gonna do in the near future, as he is depending on finding a fellowship or something to do a doctorate.
    I’ve also been in his city two weeks ago but it didn’t go that well, for example he made me hide in the bathtub because his mother was at home and didn’t want to introduce me.
    After all of that, 3 days ago he said me that the better is to break up, because he has to look for himself. Also he said that he can’t stand anymore my personality because I’m the most introverted person he has ever met, and that I don’t take care of my health because I don’t practice any sport (although I’ve started to do it in this month, without his knowledge).
    After the broke up 3 days ago, I send him a huge message to explain myself and telling him all the things that I felt and all the thing that I’ve tried to do to work out the relationship; I didn’t have any response of him. After that I haven’t spoken with him for 3 days. Please help me.! I dont know what to do!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Catherine, you really ought to be giving each other space first. Talking your way back into the relationship simply won’t work because emotions aren’t made of logic. All right? You may have made him feel “trapped” by forcing your way into his life when he’s already displayed a lot of red flags.Weigh the pros and cons of this relationship first and weight the good vs. the bad. I suggest to definitely take a step back (cut off contact for at least a month) and let all the negativity settle, okay? Spend your time wisely and focus on your own actions during this time. Learn the basics here: How to Get Your Ex Back (Step-by-Step Guide to Reversing a Breakup) and I suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide so you get the complete details and will be guided on how to go about it. Take care!

      Reply
  105. terrence
    terrence says:

    Hey brad man how’s it goin i wanna try an be brief an quick bout my situation I’ve been checking out some of your videos an i have to say im impressed so impressed that i need your help i never did anything like this before i always never have any problems with women until now to the point im actually lost and confused for the first time of my life basically my situation has to do with me not given my ex girl enough attention crazy right but the last few months i been dealing with some personal issues and though its no excuse i shouldve been given my lady all the love in the world but i wasn’t we just broke up last night of September 13th 2015 i know tht u stated the no contact rule but you also stated that process far as reaching out is imperative to as well so which approach should i choose and lastly but not least which would you suggest im open for either i can’t do both but which would you recommend personal coaching from you or purchasing your book please help i really miss her we only been dating for 2 and a half months and basically broke up on my part of lack of communication not texting her enough an calling her she unfriend me on Facebook got me on a block list so not sure if texting her would even work at this point im so distraught i know it has to be something i can do to win her back please help
    sincerely terrence,

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Terrence. Well you know what they say about how you never know what you got until it’s gone? Don’t be so hard on yourself though, as this is very common among many people. A situation often involves close scrutiny so you get to know what’s really wrong, but if you’re sure it has all to do with you not spending time or showing her enough affection, then you can do the opposite and actually make a sincere effort to show her — but only if you’re absolutely sure. If there are other issues (as most likely the case) then your showing her appreciation isn’t likely gonna change anything. If that’s the case, then this is the time I suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about it, all right? Your best bet is still to cut off contact, just to be on the safe side. Good luck!

      Reply
  106. Em
    Em says:

    Hi Brad, my husband left 4 weeks ago and I’m not sure if ur program will work for me. I want to start the no contact period but we have been together 11 yrs have 2 kids and share everything down to our bank accounts. I really want him back but he says the hurt he would feel coming back will be worse than what he had felt since leaving. When he left he was so visibly distraught he couldnt look me in the eye and he has been really emotional. But now he seems ok. I did do all the wrong things already too. Your quiz says its fading fast and i am feeling really desperate. I dont want to sell our house but cant afford it on my own and worry if it gets sold he will never come back. We r in the process of getting separate accounts. He also came over yesterday and i had made myself unavailable and dressed up a little. He mentioned how nice i looked. Is this a positive thing? Does this mean he still has feelings for me? He says he doesnt love me anymore. Then after talking about finances i got emotional again. I’m worried no contact will drive him away further as he was hurt from our relationship because i became emotionally unavailable due to post natal depression. He might just think its typical of me. Please help me.! I dont know what to do!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      I’m very sorry to hear that, Em. One thing that stood out to me though is the post natal depression you’ve mentioned towards the end, especially seeing how this has caught you to act differently. I assume you weren’t cold or emotionally unavailable to him before, yes? If so, then how are you handling it now? I suggest to have that focused first and work on it. Look after yourself and strive to take care of your own well being first and foremost, all right? Your husband may just need some time off for himself and process his feelings. He’s dealing with this is his own way. I suggest that you definitely sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can look at all the other factors at play and get a much clearer picture of what’s going on. Take care and talk soon!

      Reply
  107. Rebecca
    Rebecca says:

    Hello Brad! My boyfriend broke up with me almost 5 weeks ago, after 3,5 years of relationship. Before the breakup there were several months in wich he doubted about our relationship, but every time we talked about it, or if he intended to end it, he would come back on his decision. He couldn’t end it several times, becaues he was afraid of missing me after the breakup and didnt know what to do. He is often thick-headed as well. He said that he thought that I would have a new relationship much sooner than himself. When he ended our relationship he said, that maybe in the future we would be together again, but that he would’nt want to think about it at that particular moment. He also texted me a week after the brake-up with some information about the relation status of a friend of his…….. after that i haven’t had any contact with him for a few weeks. I congratulated him trough a text message with his grandmothers 80ths birhtday and also with his birthday a few weeks ago by text. I even sended him a card for his birthady. But he answered only really short on it, with thank you for the birthday card. After that there was no contact till a week ago, when he had to dj at a party of my parents’s friends. He waved at me when i entered the party and texted me if the music was alright. Eventually i talked with him for a couple of hours and it felt really good and I even felt a spark between us. He even touched me a few times in my belly, like he used to do when we were still together. When I wanted to go sit somewhere else on the party or go to the toilet he was asking frequently if it wanted to come back to the dj boot after that. I was really confused from the signals that he was sending to me and it was also really painfull to see him again for the first time since the break-up. Now yesterday, I went to my ex’s house to bring a book back that i had stil borrowed from them. I had some coffee and talked with his parents and him for a couple of hours. It all felt so normal and good. But when I left again and my ex walked me to the door, he was really cold and distant. I asked if he wanted to see/talk to me again next week, he first said to me that he dont have any time to see me and that he didn’t see the neccesity of it . Furhtermore, he said to me that if i texted him, he was probably able to see me. At the moment I really think that he knows that I will come back to him, if he asks me to. That bothers me. Nonetheless, At this point I really want my ex back. I wish that i knew what was te best step to do next, without screwing it up. Can you please help me with this! (P.S: Sorry if my English isn’t perfect, I’m from the Netherlands).

    Please help me!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Rebecca, confusing or mixed signals from an ex is to be expected when a breakup is still fresh, particularly the first 30 days, so your ex’s behvaiour doesn’t surprise me. Your case is also one of the reasons why I’ve been stressing out the importance of cutting off communication for a good while or at least 30 days. Watch this: How to Make Your Ex Miss You I suggest you stay strong and not get in the rollercoaster ride of emotions, okay? Shift the focus away from him and back to you instead. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about getting him back once the “no contact” period is over. Take care!

      Reply
  108. Nae
    Nae says:

    Hi Brad, I currently broke up my boyfriend about 4 days ago, First we tried to fix things up, he back at me but then I realized that he just did it out of pity. after that day I decide to end all.. But the thing is I can’t do it anymore, I want him back, I beg him and text him always. I occasionally sending msg asking him to back to me.. then I tried to call him but as I’m trying to contact him, the operator (The number you have dialed is unattended or out of coverage area, please try your call later). We’ve been together for 3 years and 8 months, when I ask him why He break up with me.. He told me that I’ve change a lot, that I’m not the person He used to know. Sometimes I hurt him with my words. But during the break-up He always telling me that He will back when the wounds of his heart heal, when he forgive me. Should I wait forever, and believe to his words or I have to move on.. Should I stop texting him and calling him since his not interested? It’s so hurt and I don’t know wahat to do..Pls help me..

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there, Nae. Sorry to hear about the breakup. Right now, there’s too much negativity in the air and that’s never good. This is why you ought to allow time to do its job and let him miss you, while you regain yourself and recuperate, okay? There’s bound to be mixed emotions in a breakup, especially during the first 30 days, but begging is a big no-no. Pay attention to all the other mistakes here while you work on yourself and allow space for you both to heal, first: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back as well as my other videos. But You ought to read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after this phase, what to say, etc. during these tough times, all right? Take care!

      Reply
  109. LoveMatters
    LoveMatters says:

    Hey Brad!
    Me and my boyfriend broke up more than a week ago.
    He has some of my things that he has to return to me. He suggested that he could bring them. Would it be a good idea to meet him in person? Maybe it is better not to meet him and ask him to give my things through someone else? Or, if we meet, what would be the best way to act?

    Thank you very much!

    Reply
  110. Raj
    Raj says:

    Hey brad , it’s so kind to see people like you thank you for being here. Let me go to the point it’s been two months since my break up , I was been too controlling being needy and of course jealousy. But we had a awesome realitionship for two years she is such a great girl ever I have seen. Past two months after one week of break up she called me we spoke random stuff it went good like tat she tried contacting me weekly often she was been hot and cold mostly hot she yells me whenever she gets a chance but now she started hating me and telling me too leave her alone. I did begged and plead her couldn’t control myself. She was like still angry with her break up she keep saying why it happened in first place. I seriously dono what to do please help me. I feel like killing myself for hurting her !! Please help me !!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      How exactly have you hurt her, man? I think the main problem here is you hadn’t give her the space she needs to even miss you, as well as think clearly. There’s a reason why I always suggest to cut off contact. Read my Ex Factor Guide to get the full details on why it’s important and what you can do to possible get her back. For now, get a hold of yourself(I know this isn’t easy) and not contact her, okay? Take care!

      Reply
  111. WastedLove
    WastedLove says:

    Hey Brad. Very complicated situation here. My bf and I dated for almost 10 years and he broke up with me 3 weeks ago. That came off as I huge shock because he’s always been crazy in love for me and used to say his dream was to marry me etc. We were in a LDR for 2 years now (I’m living abroad half of the year) and things were fine until he got a job in another city 6 months ago: it became a double LDR. His behavior started to change about 3 months ago as he became more independent (he’s always been very dependent on me) and distant, as if he’d finally learned to be happy without me. He claims the reason for our break-up were: huge fights, long-distance, not ready to marry and he’s not that crazy about me anymore.

    We finally saw each other in person this weekend to talk about it and it was a huge mess. Lots of crying and we ended up kissing. He says he’s very confused, that he needs space, that he’s afraid of getting back and start fighting again, that he doesn’t want to get back unless he’s 100% sure etc.

    I decided to give him his space and stopped contacting him for now. He’s coming to our hometown in about 3 weeks and IMO that would be a good time to meet him. When do you think I should contact him?

    thank you so much

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      I’m sorry you’re going through this. Long distance relationships are never easy. The kiss you shared may have signified a promise, so try to evaluate whether you really want to give up or not — with a clear head, so cut off contact for around a month, okay? It could be that you’re both too emotional to be doing anything right now, least of all restart your relationship, so give it time and take it slow, okay? Whatever you do, be sure not to push it. Okay? Be strong and take care!

      Reply
  112. Allyson
    Allyson says:

    Hi brad. I currently broke up with my boyfriend about 3 days ago. We broke up because I failed to tell him about a guy I hooked up with when me and my boyfriend were on a break. I told him that I never did anything with that guy and lied about it. I do not talk the guy anymore. I had another incident that the guy called me randomly when I was with my boyfriend and my boyfriend got upset. He says that he doesn’t trust me and trust is everything to him. I love him and he loves me. I don’t know what to do. I feel like he wants me back but the thing that is stopping him is that trust issue. Should I wait to talk to him? Give him time ? I need your help please help!!! I want him back

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      He needs some time to process his emotions first, Allyson. Give him time. But be sure to let him know that you’re really sorry and then leave it at that, okay? Don’t go bugging him or saying sorry a million times, as what commonly happens in this type of scenario. This video can help: How to Get Your Ex Back After Cheating (And Get Them to Forgive You). Also try to end it with the other guy in clear terms. Tell him you’re working on your relationship with your boyfriend and that you’re gonna block him (when needed) since it makes your boyfriend upset. Be firm in saying this and make sure never to talk to the other guy again. T

      Reply
  113. jenna
    jenna says:

    Hello Brad

    Would the 30days NC rule still will work if you dated only for 3 months and he said i never show him enough affection ?
    (isn`t that too much time in this case)

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      This could be a case of misunderstanding, and “no contact” may not be applicable. On the flip side, giving a bit of space can let you see things clearly and if you really hadn’t shown him enough affection. I’m not saying this is the case with you, but sometimes, the reason given you you during a breakup, is not the same reason for why the breakup happened in the first place. So as a general advice, give yourself some time, all right? Good luck!

      Reply
  114. Carl
    Carl says:

    Hi Brad, just found your article a few days ago. I broke up with my gf for almost 3 months. our relationship were last for 7 months. The 1st month after breakup, i tried to contact her few times but she give a cold response, then i stop contacting her. then along of May, i saw her post about something strange about relationship (i keep ignoring it). Then at May 28th, she contacting me just for saying happy birthday to my mom (our relationship is agreed from our both parents). Then i think it’s okay to keep contact with her. But then comes the conflicts 3 weeks ago where i discuss about her posts on social media, we argued and i think it’s misunderstanding between us then i apologized to her the next day and stop contacting her. But a few days later, i saw she post “suppose we’ve never met.” on her status and she hate herself for loving me. Then today, my friend (her friend too), told me that she already pissed off with me because our conflict 3 weeks ago and tell me to move on because she had no feelings anymore via my friend. Any advice please? Cause i still want to back together with her even she seems already commit for no getting back anymore. (i saw her deleting every of her photos on instagram that include me on it and and deleted some of our comments at some of her old posts when we still together).

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Carl. Sorry to hear about the breakup. I think everything was still all right up until the point where you started a conflict with her regarding her posts. I’ve mentioned in my Ex Factor Guide or even in my videos, I think, about the importance of keeping things fun and light with an ex since that kind of situation is fragile. Give each other time and space and let her get over the negativity, not necessarily the relationship, okay? Don’t bug her for now and the next time she communicates with you, remember to keep things light. Read my guide so you’ll know how to go about this and not ruin your chances. No heavy drama or blaming or any of that stuff. There is a time to bring up these issues out in the open, but not now or anytime soon. Good luck!

      Reply
  115. Sarah
    Sarah says:

    Hi Brad, my bf broke up with me a week ago. We had been on a break prior to for about 2 weeks. Which I did not give him the space he had asked for. We had been together for 3.5 months & moved extremely fast in the relationship to the point where he was living with me for 4 days a week. We spent too much time together during the last 2 months when I became unemployed. Stress (his job, financial) got to us & we started fighting about stupid stuff. Mostly he was getting snippy about little things. We were beyond perfect for each other so similar hopefully not too. In our final conversation he said he had met someone else. I asked if he would give me a 2nd chance & he said he was with her. He does not want me to contact him because he said it’s too painful for him & “I just need to let him go”. I sent him a few messages after that & have been cold turkey for several days now. I’m concerned he will fall in love with his new gf & will be gone forever. Should I wait a month before contacting him? Thank you so much

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Giving each other space should have been done from the get-go. I hope I’m wrong, but it seems like you may have pushed him to the arms of someone else. Your best option right now is to cut off contact and yes, wait at least a month before talking to him. This one month period doesn’t just consist of waiting around and doing nothing. You also have to do some work on your part, like focus on yourself, go hang out with friends, basically trying to keep your life in shape without your ex in it. Okay? Read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about this, step by step. Take care!

      Reply
  116. Josh
    Josh says:

    hey brad my girlfriend broke up with me 5 days ago and i want her back really badly it is my fault in the first place i lost my temper and jealous and i said something that hurts her feelings i wish there’s something you could suggest me to do. our relationship became 2 years last april and i dont want to lets all our happy memories just disappear like a bubble brad i ned you advise

    Reply
  117. Maia
    Maia says:

    Hey Brad, my ex-boyfriend broke up with me 21 days ago, and I did everything you have told us not to do, or I mean i begged him to stay, said that i would always love him, that he is the one and tryed to convice him that he could come back to me, i used one hour on the phone trying to get him back the day after and tryed to message him a long text about how much I cared for him and everything. But that didn’t work, but the problem is that he told me he still loved me, but he couldn’t be with me. Because on a party I was on a party and were drunk then a girl just grabbed my arm at the dancefloor and stock her tounge in my mouth and i run out. And this shit i told my boyfriend and then he got really mad and because of that he broke up with me because he thinks that’s cheating. We talk a little now and then but he also takes contact with me and he have told me that he want us to keep up the contact, and everything but i don’t know what to do, could i just start to ignore him? when he talks to me? We one’s had a strong realtionship, and it last for 4 months. And Iknow he truly loved me and I him, we had it magical and iknow he’s the one…Tell me what to to please. It’s so complicated… And later on the phone he said to me that it was more than one reason to break up with me it was because “I can’t control myself when I’m drunk”, I didn’t always go out with him when he’s snowmobiling with he’s friends, that i was more attached to him than he was of me, that he could go to a school hours away from here, that he had lost contact with some of his friends after we started our realtionship and it was because of he couldn’t say no too be with me, because of when he did that he got ashamed, and that I are a little to jealous of me, but he said that he was that also. And when he heard about what happend on the party he got heartbroken….I’m not really good in english as you could read but please try to understand a little at least and try to help me…

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Breaking his trust while you both were still trying to establish a strong foundation in four months, had been a bad move. Don’t be so hard on yourself though. Just take it as a lesson learned and try not to repeat the same mistakes. 🙂 Have you sincerely apologized yet? One or two apologies is enough and it beats begging, pleading, etc. After the apology, you should allow him enough time and space to process his own feelings and get his anger out. If you think he’s worth it, you would have to be patient. Understand that it may take months before he forgives you, if he’ll forgive you.So give it time, okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  118. fran
    fran says:

    i emphasized on sex cause thats the only thing he wants from. we not friends and we dont speak daily basis. he prefers to be alone with no females. the thing i dont understand is if he said no females then why did he put sex on the table? is that a way of possibly getting back? i broke up with him cause my boyfriend before him passed away 10/18/14 and he knew this and my feelings for ex i broke up with surfaced deeply and didnt want him to think he was a rebound relationship which he wasnt. we have alot in common and have known each other for 25 years. we once dated when i was 15 and he was 19. my intentions of getting back with him because im in love with him and we both stated we were meant for each other. i recently started thursday 4/14/15 the no contact rule. i cant afford the coaching til next month. im really at a loss. is it wise to do the no contact? he stated to me when we were together his true feelings for me which was good. i just dont know what to do. should i still try to contact him after the no contact rule or should i wait a week or two or just let go and move on?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      If that’s the case, then you ought to really take some time to heal yourself. Make sure that the decisions you make are from a clear state of mind and not one made out of impulse, and this can be done or the chances of it are higher if you cut off contact. Try to analyze why you really broke up with him in the first place as well, I assume it’s for a good reason? Do not ignore that or downplay any problems you have with him or in the relationship, so again, you need time to think this over and to think clearly, evaluate your relationship first; so cut off communication and take the time to heal, including processing whatever feelings left and the residual feelings from the past. This is for your own good. Talk to you soon!

      Reply
  119. fran
    fran says:

    hello brad, my ex and i been broken up since april 6,, 2015. i unfriended him on facebook and he blocked me. he text me on 4/715 to say he understood. i text him back and sent letters explainging why i broke up with him. on 4/29/15 he told me to please stop. few weeks later he told me we will not happen and that missed out on what we could have had when i contacted his son cause he never responded to me and i know him and his son talked which i apologized to his son for contacting him and told him i apologized to his son. he will only offer sex that’s it. we started talking on 12/19/2014. when we was together we never slept together only cuddled and kissed. do we have a chance of getting back? what should i do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Fran, before attempting to get him back, I suggest for you to examine your reasons for why you broke up with him. What is your intention this time… and is it built on realistic expectations or not? This video is for you: If Your Ex the Right Person for You? 5 Ways to Know for Sure I’m also not sure why sex is being emphasized. Have you broke up because he keeps pushing for sex while you’re not ready yet? I really don’t want to make any wild guesses, so sign up for my coaching program so I can view your situation more clearly, see the factors at play, and advise you accordingly on a regular basis. Take care!

      Reply
  120. Leah
    Leah says:

    Hey Brad, well long story short me and my ex dated for 6 months. He mainly broke up with me because he said his situation in work, home, and life isnt well. Saying he wants the best for me but can’t do so since he has no job, still lives with his folks, and isn’t where he wants to be in life. I’m doing no contact since then but he messages me many times Throughout the day. Asking how I am, and that he’s working hard to hopefully have a better future. Hoping that I’ll be there with him as a friend. “Or more”. What do I do? Do I still do no contact even with all his meassages?
    Thanks, Leah

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. It does look like he has stuff to work on himself though, and no amount of being in a relationship is going to resolve that. Give him space. If he really loves you, he’ll come back once he has his stuff straightened out. I don’t suggest you wait, though. Use this time to move on and work on yourself as well. Okay? As to him trying to contact, Get my Ex Factor Guide and/or watch my videos for some tips, especially this: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts and Phone Calls.

      Reply
  121. Ashley
    Ashley says:

    I dated my boyfriend for two and a half years. We had really great times where we were the best of friends and then there were times where we were always arguing because I would pick fights over the dumbest things. He kept telling me I needed to stop nagging him and I didn’t. The last straw came when he put his dirty feet on me and I asked him to stop and he did. Then he did it again and I without thinking spit on his foot. He flipped out and told me to get out. I left but the following day I want over and tried to talk to him. He said it wasn’t just the spitting but everything and that was the final straw. He said I should have trusted him and that this is forever and he never wants to see me again. He changed all his social medias to single and posted statuses about how he deserves better. It’s been 11 days. I have not contacted him at all. But he hadn’t contacted me. It’s getting harder for me. He keeps adding girls on Facebook and I fear that there is nothing I can do to fix what I did. I just want another chance to show him I can change and won’t nag him but I fear he is too far gone. I need help. I would do anything in this world to get him back. Please help me. I don’t want to loose him forever. I want to start over and build a healthy relationship with him.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Trying to talk to him while you’re both still in emotional turmoil is not a good idea. Expect nothing but more chaos to come out of it. This is one of the many reasons why I suggest to follow the hard yet effective route which is to go “no contact” for around a month or so. It’s barely been two weeks, so try to stay cal (easier said than done I know), Read my guide so you’ll know how to go about this and understand why it’s needed. Use this time to work on yourself and try to stop nagging, since that can really take its toll. Find better means to communicate when the time comes? For now, follow this: How to Stop Yourself from Contacting Your Ex. Good luck!

      Reply
  122. Ryan
    Ryan says:

    Hey brad, my girlfriend and I broke up about a week ago, because she said that she wanted to take a break until her soccer season was over so that she could pit more time into our relationship. She says she still cares about me, but I’m not so sure anymore. She hasn’t reached out to me, and I’m worried she doesn’t want me anymore. What do I do??? We had been dating for about 3 months btw.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Ryan, caring for someone and being attraction to someone are two separate things. Although you want her to care for you, her feeling that (emotional) attraction to you is what you’re really aiming for… and that’s what you need to rebuild; this takes time. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about this and/or sign up for my coaching program if you want a step-by-step coaching on how you should go about things, especially if your situation’s too unique. All right? All the best!

      Reply
  123. Amy
    Amy says:

    Hi, Brad,
    Here’s our story and my questions.
    We’ve been 9months, and fought quiet a lot, and every time I tried to have conversation with him, and we agree, but back to fight and so on and on.
    We decided to move to another country together 2 months ago, but whenever we had issue he firstly said I won’t go there together because I am not happy today, and I don’t want to take risk that I will have the same day like today in another country. But ‘stupidly’ whenever he said like that, I calmed him down, and mad conversation and we back.
    A week ago, same thing happened. We argued via messages, and he again, very simply said ‘I won’t go there together’. I thought he was using it as an weapon as hurt my feeling or I thought I might learn that if he said so he could be in control. So this time I simply replied ‘it’s fine’. Then I called him and talked about my feeling, thoughts so far, he said we should sleep, and I said ‘take care’, and he said ‘good night, sweet dreams’.
    Since then I didn’t contact him again as I used to – I made initial contact and he replied later etc-. He messaged me on lunch hour and asked if I was ok, and he’s worried about me. I didn’t replied. Next day, he again messaged me, he hates how we ended on, and he’s worried about me, but I ignored again. On the third day he messaged me and said please say something, talk to him, he’s worried about me and hate how we ended.
    Well, when he said we should sleep on the last call, I felt like if he felt like it’s our last call, he wouldn’t ended like this, he at least said good bye or something, he believed ‘I will available to talk tomorrow again’, so I won’t be there for him. This is what I thought at the moment.
    Anyways, after three days in a row messages, he didn’t do it anymore. Oh, well he even called me ‘sweetie’ in one of messages.
    My question is, in this case, NC would work? And when can I upload my current photos or status on SNS?
    You said we should make bf or gf curious about our current situation. So when is the right time to start use SNS?
    Thanks !

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Amy, I’m sorry, but the situation you’ve described here is not enough for me to make anything concrete of. What exactly were you two fighting about? If you’re fighting too much, then it’s necessary to step back a little. Also try to find out the root cause since it may signal an incompatibility. Sign up for my coaching program instead so I can look into your situation more clearly and figure out what’s going on, and guide you on a regular basis, okay? For now, as a general advice, I urge you to cut off contact since that almost always helps you both clear your head, and I think that’s exactly what you both need to do right now — before anything else. Good luck!

      Reply
      • Amy
        Amy says:

        Thanks for your replying. And I will check out the program you suggested.
        Well, he has some of my stuffs, and he never said he wanna return, so I asked him first. And I said it’s better for us to send each others items, but he said he wanna deliver to my place. And we breakup on Monday, but on Sat nite he said he missed me, he wanna know where I was, he said he always wanted to a family with me etc but I didn’t react on those words, just talked about my stuffs. This Monday he said he wanna deliver my stuffs, he didn’t want to rely on parcel. And he said he never hate me, he was in love with me, and still think/know he’s in love with me etc. I felt like he’s lied, or he play me. Because, after 4days we breakup he post himself on date website.
        I don’t know why he’s saying those words when he’s looking to meet someone right away.
        (he’s 27, well, I found out that whenever we had cold-period he sent some random email to ad which posted on date website, he gave them his skype id :(( )
        Really confusing.

        Reply
  124. Annah
    Annah says:

    Hi Brad. My boyfriend and I broke up because I cheated on him. He wanted to end all ties but I begged and cried that he should not, a few weeks later we talked about it and he said he forgave me but that he met someone and therefore wanted an open relationship. I told him to leave the girl but it made him angry and I then agreed to the open relationship. When we talk, he is indifferent towards me and only texts when he feels like it and sometimes does not even reply. I was quiet for two days and he texted and sent me a song, but after that he was indifferent again in the texts. I really love him and we were together for a year and a half. Also, we are in a long distance relationship, 2 hours away from each other but the other girl is there with him and they live at the same residence. I want to know if there is still a chance to win him back because he posts negative comments on Facebook and how the other girl appreciates what I took for granted. When we were together we were really happy..

    Reply
  125. amalina
    amalina says:

    Hi BRAD. My ex and I broke up nearly a month ago. I sent him a text message asking him how’s he doing and how was his holiday but he didn’t reply. Btw, I texted him on 21st day of NCP. What should I do next? Should I wait for another month and try to reach him back? Should I just wait for him to reach me out first? What if he has already moved on or having a new girlfriend? I want him back. We are in a long distance relationship. I’m in Japan and he’s in UK. We have been sserious in our relationship for 5 years and planned to get married

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Amalina, you ought to read my Ex Factor Guide and/or watch my Youtube videos so you’ll know how to go about this, okay? The text messages you sent him were not really something that provokes an emotional response from him, and that may be one of the reasons why you haven’t gotten a reply. Watch my other videos — or read my guide since that’s much more in-depth — especially this: How to Talk to Your Ex Again

      Reply
  126. Yvette
    Yvette says:

    Hello, okay. My ex and I have been together for about 5 years. In 2013 he prosposed to me around summer time. Last year he broke up With me. The break up wasn’t good. He texted me as a break up. My parents got involved and they were very angry. We didn’t speak for about a month. Then he would send confusing messages. Eventually we gave it a second chance and we were together again for about 5 months. He started to become distant and I noticed it. Because he was ignoring me. When I called him, he kept crying saying he didn’t known didn’t want to hurt me a second time but I told him if he didn’t feel the same then to end the relationshiP. I think we mutually agreed. The following week he has been contacted me only through text. Usually it’s something simple like a good morning and hope your have a good day. It’s been about a week after the second break up. I honestly don’t know what to do. I would like to get back with him bUT is a third time really worth it?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Yvette, I suggest you sign up for my coaching program so I can look at all the other factors at play and guide you accordingly because right now, it looks like you (both) may have become too impulsive to get back together that there wasn’t really any time to process what the real issues were. The same issues that made you broke up needed to be addressed first if you’re looking to resolve it and have a better shot at trying again. All right? Giving each other more space may do you good so you can try to clear your minds first. Take care!

      Reply
  127. Theresa
    Theresa says:

    Hi Brad. To cut a whole long story short.I was dumped by my ex boyfriend 2 and half weeks ago. And we’ve been together 8 and a half months. We loved each other but always argue and that caused us to always breakup and makeup, but only for a day or two and two weeks was the max. But now I know its over, because when he dumped me he said he feels relieved, he said it a few times. and then he insulted me and my deceased parents, this was all done through text. We are staying in different cities and was planning to move in with him, but he dumped me there too, cause we argued and then we made up when I came back home. And now I’m dumped again, and its been 2 and half weeks now that I haven’t contacted him and I refuse to, but he has contacted me twice to tell me that he’s gonna send my things via post, and i didn’t respond to that. And the second time when he said that he received a message that said ‘returned’ and that I should let him know if i received my parcel. But he also said in the message, that he loved me with all he’s heart. and it is over, and he is not interested in having another relationship anymore with any woman. Why does he have to tell me that it is over? I know it is over..i don’t need to hear it again.And I’m not going to reply to his message.I have a feeling he misses me. And I don’t want to over analyze his last message. But I think if he wanted me back he would say that. Do you think he has any intentions of wanting me back? Or is there any hope?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You could still miss or love someone without having to be in a relationship with them. In short, the arguments or the negativity have clearly overridden the positive feelings, hence, the breakup. This is why you ought to give it more time and space to each other before attempting to talk again. Have you thought about the roles that you and your ex both played that led to the demise of the relationship? You both need to clear your minds first to think clearly. Also use this as a guide: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts and Phone Calls

      Reply
  128. Triet
    Triet says:

    hi Brad, I was in longdistance relationship. When my ex come back to our city to have a lunar new year, 3 weeks. We have met, hang out and have fun. But in 3 week I just to needy, jealously and etc, she decided to dumbed me! till now is 3 week and we still have talk, coule day ago we have a date that we kissed. But now when I contract to met her she told me she dont want to see me now! what I have to do now master coach!
    Best regards!!!

    Reply