No Contact: Should I Ignore My Ex?

Often times, when someone wants to get their ex back, they’ll send them a constant stream of text messages and phone calls begging for their forgiveness. They’ll tell him or her that they still love them and that they’re willing to fix all the things they’ve done wrong.

Woman ignoring her ex!However, based on expert relationship advice, it turns out that if you really want your ex back, you shouldn’t be sending them these messages. In fact, if you really want your ex to realize they made a mistake, you should be doing the complete opposite. Sound weird and counter intuitive? It is, but it works.  [RELATED: How to Get Your Ex Back]

Relationship expert Brad Browning specializes in helping men and women reunite with their exes. He’s been doing it for over 10 years.

“When people are heartbroken, often times they’ll do or say anything to try to convince their exes to come back. But to be honest, they don’t realize that what they’re doing is destroying their chances of getting their ex back, because in fact, at this point, they should probably be ignoring their exes for now,” says Brad.

The reason being that right now, your ex knows that you want them back. You no longer pose any challenge, and therefore their attraction to you is low as they know they can have you whenever they feel like taking you back; when your ex knows for a fact that they can get back together with you in a second, the appeal and magic just disappears. What you need to do is reverse the roles completely and convince your ex that you have actually moved on and that you don’t want him or her back. 

Only then will he or she feel the need to contact you again, and only then will you be able to create that sort of “attraction” and “spark” you two had when you first met. (Brad recently released a video explaining exactly how you can get your ex back in the shortest amount of time possible.)

Yes, I understand that trying to appear to move on right now is difficult. And for some people reading this, it may sound almost impossible.

But How Long Should You Ignore Your Ex?

“For 31 days,” says Brad Browning. “That is, 31 days at the very least, depending on the situation. But 31 days has proven to be the length of time at which any person, even one who has been determined to move on from an ex, starts missing someone – especially a person that was dear to them.”

“I promise you that if you do follow the right advice, you will optimize your chances of getting your ex back.” — Brad Browning

Not only does Brad say that you should be ignoring your ex completely during this time, but he also says that you should focus on moving on before contacting them again.

He says that exercise, work, and dating other people should keep you preoccupied right now, and that “getting over your ex” is the first step to getting your ex back.

Brad also says that ignoring your ex isn’t the only thing you should be doing.

“See, what a lot of people don’t seem to realize is that your ex won’t even think about getting back together with you in your desperate state. You need to first prove to them that you actually don’t need them in your life, and ignoring them is one of the ways of doing this. You shouldn’t say it directly, of course, but you need to convey it subtly. You need to show him or her that you’ve got other singles chasing after you. And, finally, you need to communicate with them in an attractive way,” says Brad.

people exercising

Brad recommends exercising to help you ease the stress of getting back with your ex.

When asked how to communicate with your ex in an attractive way, Brad says, “You need to talk to him or her in the way you did when you two first met. You need to remind your ex, subtly, of how you two were when you first felt that initial stage of attraction towards each other. This attraction phase is the key to rekindling your relationship with your ex, and only then will he or she begin to fall back in love with you.”

Brad says that in his time as a relationship coach he has helped 80% of his clients (both men and women) get back with their ex partners. And that’s not all. Browning has recently released a step-by-step guide on how you can get your ex back, no matter your situation. In fact, LoveLearnings recently reviewed his program and was blown away by our reader’s responses.

Justin Schultz from Calgary tells us:

“My girlfriend broke up with me a month ago because I cheated on her. Worst mistake of my life. I wanted to do anything and everything to get her back. After reading Mr. Browning’s program, I realized I was doing everything incorrectly. After reading his guide a few times and applying his material, my ex girlfriend slowly began contacting me more, talking to me, and eventually, wanting to get back together with me. This was over 5 months ago and we are still together.”

Brad Browning’s program works for both men and women. In fact, unlike other programs out there, Brad has designed two separate programs – one for men and one for women. “Men and women think quite differently when it comes to relationships,” Brad says. “Women are much more passionate and rely on their emotions and instincts, whereas men don’t. They often rely on information that’s available, even though the information may just be completely wrong.”  [RELATED: Should I Be Friends with My Ex?]

Does Brad guarantee that ignoring your ex and following his advice will work?

“Of course not. I can’t guarantee you anything,” he says.  “Sometimes, relationships can’t be fixed, no matter how hard you try. Sometimes, not even the most powerful psychological tricks can help two people work out their immense differences. However, I promise you that if you do follow my advice, you will optimize your chances of getting your ex back. Like I said, over 90% of relationships can be salvaged, but that 10% exists.”

If this is something that interests you, then I highly suggest that you watch Brad’s video here. It’s free, and in it he reveals some little known secrets that most people will never know discover about breakups. He’ll also go over the four deadly mistakes that you could be making right now that are killing your chances of ever getting your ex back. And yes, he will go into more detail about how you to ignore your ex and lure them back into your life.

ex factor guide player

About Jessica Raymond

Jessica Raymond, BSc, RCC, is LoveLearnings senior editor. As a relationship counselor, Jessica has helped hundreds of men and women achieve their relationship dreams. Whether it’s finding your one true love or simply charming someone on a date, Jessica’s got your back! In her articles, she reveals little-known, psychological tips that will make even the coldest person chase you around like a little puppy.

405 replies
  1. Racky
    Racky says:

    Hi Brad,
    I broke up with my bf a week ago and the thing is that he hasn’t called or made any contact with him. I am following your idea of no contact but I think he is doing it too, and plus I think I have tried this too many times and that he knows what I am doing now…I think he is also doing the no contact rule. What do I do now?

  2. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Everything may not be lost yet. Just make sure to move forward from those mistakes and not repeat those! Don’t be so hard on yourself, though, since this s a fairly common issue and most people are guilty of this at some point. If you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (because like I said, it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

  3. John Smith
    John Smith says:

    Hey Brad!
    My girlfriend broke up with me about 2 weeks ago (on friday the 13th), we are both 20 years old and were together for almost 2 years and that time was great, so I’ve been doing the no contact strategy after i begged for a day and it started working wonders: she texted me she misses me etc. But yesterday she called 6 times and texted me she thinks she has made the wrong decision. So I caved in, because i did not want to hurt her. Texted her back a short and closed answer, but I messed up and started a little conversation. Then she admitted she was a little extreme in calling me and saying she cries herself to sleep everynight, I responded to the latter message, because I just had to. Did I ruin my chances or do I still have a chance and start the no contact periode over again? She even told me it was hard for her getting used to not talking to me everyday. I am considering buying your book, since I don’t know what to do and don’t want to mess up again.
    Thank you,
    John

  4. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Well, since you’ve completed the 30-day “no contact” rule, then take time focusing on the second phase and eventually the third phase when the time is right. This won’t happen overnight, of course, but it’s something you ought to continue to work on to the point where you’re gradually building attraction again. This is what my guide is for. Have you checked it out yet? It’s too complicated to explain everything on here, but here’s an overview of these phases and what to expect in each one: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup). Good luck!

  5. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    She’s clearly upset about whatever mistake you’ve made, so give him time to cool down. What happened? Try to let her feel the sincerity of how “sorry” you are and don’t expect her to forgive you right away, since that will only piss her off more. Here, follow the tips on this video to help you out: How to Get Your Ex To Forgive You.

  6. Brian Wynn
    Brian Wynn says:

    My ex ended our relationship in mid-July and it’s now the end of September. I’ve gone longer than the 30 days that’s recommended in the no contact tactic. I still saw her twice weekly, but I just didn’t talk to her unless I absolutely HAD to because of the idea behind that idea. Did I really mess things up by going longer than the 30 days? Or is there still a chance to start things over? Could I possibly start talking to her again and see where it goes? I’d REALLY like to know if this is possible or not.

  7. Narendra Singh Gahlot
    Narendra Singh Gahlot says:

    hiii brad plz help mee, me and my gf are together from last 4 year but i don’t know what happen i did some mistake but i accept all my mistake infront of her, now from last 2 month she is with someone else i tried every thing i cried a lot i tried every thing but she don’t want to understand anything and she listen to his new bf from last 2 month they both are together whenever i tried calling her she just starting shouting on me and she already said that she don’t wants to live with me now plzzz help mee what should i do help mee plzzzz@brad browning
    

  8. Andre jones
    Andre jones says:

    Hi brad 🙂 me and my gf broke up several times because i rushed it to get it back and tht was a bad idea so i was sticking at n rule but i contact her with no sign of sweetness and just ask her out she said no. And i was emotionally hurt knowing iwast healed but i am restarting no contact but2-3 weeks from now we’ll see each other because of an event.. help me brad i restarted nc.. if she want to see me i should act i dont care right?

  9. Saurabh singh
    Saurabh singh says:

    Hello brad ……this is saurabh …my ex unblocking me after 4 years ..plz guide me what she wants….and what can i do to get her back …plz help me

  10. sarah
    sarah says:

    my story

    My ex broke up with me for 1 week ago.. I found his text when talked with his girl and I confronted him about it, he got feelings for her (even travel to her city just to meet her during our break up) but me and my ex have been together for almost 9 years. Do you think he fell in love with her? He was always happy with me told me he loves me and so on before a week before the break up. I of course on first day was crying and did all those forbidden stuff but found this site and it saved me. Me and my ex live together and I make sure he got his space and I got my space. During the breakup he told me that he got tired of me and want to live alone but I asked him what about this girl.. he told me that he want to try with her.. HOW DO I HANDLE IT? I love him and want him back in my life. I try now no contact.. and will follow the rules.. does he still love me after being all those years? right now he tells me out of nowhere he needs to go for a work.. I went out to kicthen to make coffee and I avoid talk but he told me this.. It hurts because I know he dates her.. I acts all cool towards him ofc

  11. Carrie
    Carrie says:

    Hello Brad! Thanks for the reply! He is originally from Asia and is still a university student. He took a break for a year to come to Europe for language studies, but his main reason was our relationship. But now we are over, there is no real reason for him to stay any longer, so he decided to go back. He has one year left until graduation , but he probably won’t be able to attend any classes before next year. So I would like him not to go back yet and make him rethink oir break up. But I don’t know how to do it… Today is NC Day 5…

    Thank you!

  12. Carrie
    Carrie says:

    Hi Brad, I’m sorry. So in short:
    My long distance boyfriend from Asia came to Europe to study here for a year and be able to meet me more often. Even though he was closer than before we only got to meet once per month. We are still both students and haven’t graduated university yet.
    Due to the distance, personality differences, hopelessness and both having a hard time right now, he decided to break up a week ago after 1,5 years.
    I don’t contact him right now, but the problem is that he probably cancelled his studies here and will go back to Asia in a month. Originally he planned to stay until February.
    How can I get him to stay here for longer? How can I convince him to try again? If I wait until 30 days NC are over, it will be too late and he will be gone. I really love him a lot and am willing to go to graduate school or even live in his country to be with him… Thanks!

  13. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi, Carrie! I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation at http://www.breakupbrad.com/coaching Thanks for your understanding!

  14. Carrie
    Carrie says:

    Hello Brad,

    My long distance bf broke up with me a few days ago. I live in Europe and he is from in Asia…We met in his country when I was studying abroad, and decided to keep this relationship going as we loved each other too much to give up. After a few months he came to Europe for language studies, but we were still not in the same country only being able to see each other once a month. I got caught up with my exams and other applications, and he had visa issues… we were both having a hard time but couldnt meet up with each other… Last week we took a break for a few days and finally he ended the relationship earlier this week. He said he dreamed of a future together, but he realized that our personalities are more different than he expected. He said he is only making me have a more difficult time and causing me stress and pain. He hates seeing me live my life and changing myself only for him. If we keep this relationship going, he is afraid nothing will come out of it and negative feelings will only remain at the end. We tried so hard, but there is no hope for us to work out so he said to end it here saying not to contact each other anymore. Next day I said I want to see him one more last time, before he returns to his country, cause we will probably never see each other again, but he told me not to come cause it will be too hard for him. So he said he will come to visit me… but he didn’t say when. He also already deleted all pictures of us.
    We had so many plans… we were supposed to travel the whole next month and he was planning to come to my place for at least 2 months at the end of the year. I am devastated cause all of a sudden everything I was looking for is gone.
    We love each other, but the problem is we are still students and cannot imagine marrying or relocating yet, cause we still have our responsibilities in our own countries. Also his parents are worried, that marrying a foreigner can lead to many fights due to cultural differences. They have never met me though. He however has met my parents, and he liked them a lot. He also doesnt like living in Europe and he has no single friend wherr he lives which is why he must have missed his country even more.

    I’m trying to keep NC now, but the problem is he only stayed in Europe to meet me, so now that we are done he has no reason to stay here anymore and will probably prepare to go back to Asia during the next weeks and then finally leave in a month, when the NC is supposed to end… I would wish him to reconsider to stay here until next year, like how it was originally planned… but how do I do that? If he stayed here for longer it would be easier to be patient and not contact him. But he will be gone over 5000 miles far away from me in a month and then it will be too late to get him to stay longer and harder to get him back. Do you think there is any hope for us? Do you have any tips on how I can get him back? I really love him a lot and am willing to go to graduate school or even live in his country to be with him. But I think more than being happy he might have felt burdened and sad, cause it means I would have to give up my family and friends for him.

    Please help me~
    Thank you so much!

  15. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Sorry to hear that. Missing someone comes in waves. Understand that it’s a normal process but make sure to take care of yourself enough to NOT let it drown you. Have you communicated with her as to why you’re being complacent or not be there for her as much, because of what you’ve been going through? Communication is key. Sorry to hear about your mom, too. Often grief pulls two people closer together, so share it with her and have her be there for you in these times so she’ll have a part in it, too, and won’t feel left out or in the dark of what you’ve been going through. Don’t alienate her. That could be the very reason why she broke up with you, that she doesn’t feel special because you’ve alienated. I don’t have the full story, however, and I apologize if I’m way off. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

  16. Sean P
    Sean P says:

    Thank you Brad. We talked tonight and she decided to end up with me. I tried to be calm and collected and say “Yeah, it’s probably better”, but couldn’t in the end and just ended up begging even more. Needless to say, it didn’t work. She got pissed off and left. I’ll try to start focusing on getting her back, going to work on hobbies, get myself in shape, worry about myself. Then 30 days later we’ll see how it goes.

    Either way, thanks for the reply.

  17. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Sean, I’m sorry to be the one telling you this but a break is often always a precursor to a breakup. But no, at this point, never start any confrontation with an ex, especially someone you’d want to get back with, okay? When she backs off, then play it cool on your end as well. Don’t chase, okay? All you can do at this point is focus on your own actions and give her the space that she obviously needs, okay? Get busy with other stuff going on in your life. What’s your passion aside from her? Work on that and get some new hobbies to refresh your mind. Good luck!

  18. Scottie Styles
    Scottie Styles says:

    Hiya brad.

    I broke up with my x at the beginning of June/ I am 46 she is 53, we were very happy for the last 3 and half years
    Now since the turn of the year, I have been gulity of complacency with here. tbhis die to the fact that a number of
    very stressful factors have came into my life to deal with. 1 being my xwife and children whom went through a domestic abuse situation with the step dad. and also my Mother whom is now sadly suffering from Diemensour/

    the relationship with my x did go just a little stale. but nothing which in my eyes was unfix able, she knows how much I love her. Her reasons for ending the reletion after such a period of time ,was she was unhappy as I was no longer making her feel special. over the 3 years prior to this we did heaps of things together, we has at least 6-7 holidays with each other/
    Since June I have spoken to her once face to face. ( this was after 2 weeks) and then another time over the phone/ I have also been guilty of sending her a couple of letters , explaining my feelings, and a few texts/
    now she has said its to late, to fix this.
    however she is still answering my texts, in which I send her now from time, ( we are talking about maybe 2-3 a week)

    I am trying to move on. I have had 2-3 dates, I am going to the gym and looking into new hobbies/
    my problem is I still miss her so much. She was a massive part of my life over the last 3 years or so/ i still think about her everyday, I have to many good memories of her still stuck in my head.

    What do I do ?

  19. Sean P
    Sean P says:

    Hey Brad.
    Could you just light up my situation? Here’s the deal. We’ve been dating for 1 year. She decided to take some time 3 days ago, because of our constant fighting and my mood swings during this last years. Since then I’ve been begging for her like crazy this past 3 days, sending text, huge letters, pictures, gifts, 24 hours a day…everything I shouldn’t do. She just gives me the cold shoulder and avoids me the whole day. “Yeah”, “Okay”, “Going to sleep, happy for you” it’s been like that. The thing: We didn’t officialy break up, as far as I know we’re on a break. She’s just ignoring me completely and not wearing our ring anymore in public. On the other side she still has our romantic pictures on Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram and everything, like we’re dating…but we’re not? I’m confused. I then keep insisting the we talk about going though or not with our relationship or not, and all she says is “We’ll talk about it other day” and “We’ll see with time”.

    Two things: I know for a fact that she still loves me, a lot, but it’s just tired of me and there’s not anyother possible male in the scene.

    What should I do? Confront her about the relationship, “ends of we get back”, should I dissapear and don’t answer her messages? Make myself the hard one? What should I do? This limbo is just frustating me. I truly wish her back tho.

    Thank you so much!!

  20. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hmm… both enjoyed it? I don’t think so. I think you enjoyed it while he on the other hand, felt smothered. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have said how you can sometimes be “too much.” It’s important to have your own life outside of the relationship as well. Don’t fall for the trap of how he’ll have to think of the bad times. Yes, that can work, however, he’s only human and as soon as you go missing for AT LEAST a full 30 days where you don’t contact each other, trust me, he will miss you. Watch this, first: How To Make Your Ex Miss You.

  21. Nicholle
    Nicholle says:

    Do you think I still have a chance with him? Do you think it’s even worth it to think I do? We had a great relationship for 2 years. We spent almost every single day together and both enjoyed it for the most part. Even up until the end of the relationship, we were both enjoying our time spent together. He told me he broke up with me because sometimes, I’m just too much. After the break up, we spoke a few times and he told me he misses me but in order to stop missing me he just thinks of the bad times we had together instead of the good. After spending everyday of the last two years with him it’s hard to let him go because I really don’t know how to do life without him. I love being with him and I love him so much. I can’t imagine him losing feelings for me so fast because I know he felt great about our relationship just a few days prior to the breakup. Do you think he just needed a break, but wants me to think it’s a breakup so I can change back into the person he fell in love with? I’m hoping he will get back with me but I guess if it’s meant to be it will be.

  22. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    No surprise there. A break is often a precursor to a breakup so it’s considered a breakup in most cases. Sorry to hear you’re going through this, though. Anyhow I suggest to give it a shot because your best bet is still to employ the 30-day rule and yes, it will work in a sense where you BOTH will get to clear your mind to be in a better position to deal with each other when the time comes — instead of letting emotions overrule everything, risking things to get blown out of proportion even further. Makes sense? But will no contact ALONE work to get your ex back? Sometimes it does, but other times (especially if your situation is unique) it’s not, because the no contact phase is only part one of the three-step process I teach in my Ex Factor Guide. Learn the basics here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) I also made a quick vid to those who are seemingly lost and could use a reminder on what to do: Want Your Ex Back? Stop Thinking About Them! (Psychological Warfare). And lastly, yes, greet him on his birthday. Good luck!

  23. Nicholle
    Nicholle says:

    Hi Brad,

    My boyfriend pretty much broke up with me 3 weeks ago. It started off as a break for a week and then he decided he wanted to break up with me about 2 weeks ago. During these 3 weeks, I have contacted him and told him how much I miss him and begged him to get back together with me. I now know that was a mistake. When I ask him if we will get back together, he says “we might, just not right now”, it’s driving me crazy. I know he has been seeing another girl during the time we haven’t been together. He swears to me that he isn’t getting with her, but others have told me they have seen them together. I’m not sure how he could move on so fast and already start seeing someone new. Do you think the no contact rule will still work for me if I start now? His birthday is in a little over a month, so my plan was to wait until then to text him next.

  24. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Sorry to hear about the breakup. I agree with you. It does look like she’s lost all attraction before the actual breakup. It could be due to your own cheating or something else. The decision is ultimately up to you since you know your relationship and your ex better than anyone else on here. Check this out, though, particularly if your reasons for getting your ex back overpowers everything else: Why You Should Get Back Together With Your Ex. Good luck!

  25. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey likewise! I just need to clarify a few things here, though. By commit did you mean she’s waiting for you to propose to her? You already said you’ve been dating her for 3 years, so your refusal to “commit” whatever that means, is what baffles me. Anyway yes, cut off contact for at least month and let her really miss you first. I’m sorry, but there’s lots of missing pieces here, sign up for my coaching program instead so I can look into your situation more clearly and figure out what’s going on, then guide you on a regular basis. Good luck!

  26. T
    T says:

    Hello brad I was with my partner for about a year and a half it would have almost been 2 years coming up in august I want to say in April of this year she actually started to change on me she had told me she didn’t feel the same way anymore and pretty much said she would b happy if I went away . In the beginning of the relationship I did cheat quite a few times I wasn’t the best partner but I did begin to change I guess not soon enough . Anyways It hurt me I was upset I ask questions I didn’t understand I did not except it I pretty much pleaded and eventually we forgot about it and moved on we were pretty much living together so over time we just let it go I thought we were ok and maybe at the time she was just going through something that made her think that way but that wasn’t the case. The beginning of June she had made a joke saying some girl was cute I didn’t really take it to seriously untill she said her and the girl liked each other and she said they shared a moment . Oh I went off probably something I shouldn’t have done . But even way before another person was brought in the picture she was already feeling that way saying she wasn’t happy with me anymore she doesn’t feel the same way and she doesn’t see a future with me. The actually break up happened in the middle of June that’s when I moved my stuff out we both cried I moved back home within a couple days of me leaving I Was texting drunk calling all that I even said some mean things on some of the days . Then apologized I was going through it I was so damn depressed I couldn’t do anything it angered me that she did this to me that’s what I was thinking anyway . She through out the we can be friends card but I’m not with that at all. The last time I reached out to her was 3 weeks ago she hasn’t attempted to reach out to me at all which angers me and makes me think she never gave a damn about me I was going to finish with the no contact then reach out but from my story should I even try to get back with her I do love her very much but I feel like she doesn’t care at all and she’s stubborn and set in her ways any advice ? Thanks

  27. van
    van says:

    good to meet you brad.. ive broke all rules during this 3 months of break up.. begged, emotional outburst, complained about new guy and was told about being friends.
    no contact rule.. I tried.. 1 day..lol.
    I was at fault. she was ready to commit and I had no good answer. let me say.. this woman is a handle full no weak woman here. from Poland and very beautiful 20 years younger than me and never was an issues until she broke up with me. twice she asked about our future and twice I was immature and selfish. took her for granted and I’m carrying this burden. she met another guy and is working overtime to get him to love her.. she stays with him and has complained to me’ he sucks in bed’.. over shares as we meet and I’ve asked her to stop. she says,’ you asked and I want to be honest.. she’s from Poland and maybe that the difference in American woman. which is also why I love her… she’s complex and amazing.. or was. she has changes me.. I was once so committed to my man.. now I have wondering eyes. says ‘ this break up’.. she when on to say’ about this new relationship which was 3 weeks after our break up now 3 months.. but he put her in friends.. however still some contact’ kissing..ect but no sex.
    ive really messed up.. failed at giving her space, which she asked for.. being calm and not erratic….I’ve made them all. Mistakes.

    question… can no contact phase work now.. or should I remain in some text contact as we are currently.. I did ask her to stop over sharin1g. shew was my best friend, amazing lover and a good girl friend.. and we dated for 3 years.. but she scary..hahaha

  28. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Stephanie! Sorry to hear that. Your case is actually one of the few cases where the “no contact” rule is an exception…but DON’T initiate random contact in any way and don’t make any unnecessary chitchats, all right?I’ve discussed it in these videos, as well as how to handle it: When Is It Bad To Ignore Your Ex? Exceptions To The ‘No Contact’ Rule and How To Act Around Your Ex (6 Tips For Handling Post-Breakup Encounters). You’re also welcome to sign up for my coaching program if you’re unsure how to go about this or you’re planning to do something but not sure if it’s a good idea or not, etc. but I would have to look a the situation as a whole in order to give solid advice. Talk soon?

  29. Stephanie Brown
    Stephanie Brown says:

    Hi Brad
    I have had two relationships in the past of which both cheated on me. Because my partner turned his phone on silent,and seemed to be continually whattsapping, and when our relationship had just started I saw photos sent by an ex I have always been concerned that he was cheating too! He said he wanted to move on after I questioned him one day ( which has been many occaisions) I also found out that his daughter didn’t want meto go to her wedding I was so upset that I packed and walked out.I have been and stayed with him twice in the last 3 months (we also run a business together) and he told me he wanted me, told me I was the sexiest woman he’d met and we were intimate in a way that he’d never shown before. I am really struggling without him although we converse and text every day and every night! I have been a fool, have said and done stupid things. I know he is not seeing anyone and tells me constantly where he’s going and who i
    he is with, he says he cares for me and needs to know I am ok. I am having to go back in two weeks to end our business relationship which he knows I want to keep going and has said he will continue it if I can do all the paperwork remotely. How do I turn this round, how do I win him back? I have read your 30 no contact but while we have a business together it is impossible
    Please help with some advice, my heart is breaking and I wish I never walked out.

  30. Daniel Barker
    Daniel Barker says:

    Hi Brad, just watched your video and it sounds good but I have a feeling I am too far along the process already. Basically, my girlfriend (of 7 years) went to Australia for 6 weeks and slept with another guy on 3 occasions whilst she was over there. What was worse was I had been due to fly out part way through her time there and us continue the holiday after she finished working but she convinced me not to. When she came back she acted like nothing had happened. Then I found pictures of the 2 of them kissing together on her laptop (having suspected) and she came clean. I kicked her out obviously. My issue is I am not sure I want to be back with her. We still meet up and have sex, kiss and cuddle. We are at the stage of seeing each other every other day but she is an emotional rollercoaster of guilt and hurt. Yet she said it happened because she no longer wanted us to be together. Yet now says she wants us to get back together in the future. It’s interesting though because for the first couple of weeks we didn’t speak. Then she wanted to see each other repeatedly. But I wondered, does any part of your programme cover what to do if you are unsure? What I mean is, it’s not clear cut if I want her back or if it would work because I always trusted her implicitly and now I don’t and maybe never could. I am 2 months in already and still can’t decide. It is driving me insane thinking about it endlessly. I hope you can take the time to respond. And good work on mending and reconciling the relationships of people that know for sure. Best wishes, Dan.

  31. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi there! Since you’ve agreed on a set date to go to couples therapy, then I assume you aren’t really broken up yet? If so, then yes, go together, especially if you’ve agreed to it in the first place. Do a quick follow up with her if she’s going and proceed from there. Take care!

  32. Blake Carroll
    Blake Carroll says:

    Hi Brad,

    I was in an interracial relationship for the last eight months. For the most part, it was a very significant relationship, as she and I seriously discussed marriage and even tried getting pregnant for few months. Nevertheless, the relationship became rather troublesome the last three months and we got into several fights—one in which I called her a “black bitch” and “little black girl.” Obviously, I didn’t mean those words at all and spoke them in anger—not as a racist. Needless to say, she finally dumped me, as she stated she would never be able to get past those remarks. On the other hand, I honestly believe she’s still in love with me.

    At the moment, I want to get your professional advice and counsel. Understand that I began your “no contact” approach this morning after sending a quick apology text and telling her if “you ever change your mind you can let me know.” I’ve not heard a word from her since then. Nevertheless, here is my question—she and I were scheduled to begin couples therapy on July 11th. As a result, do you feel I should still employ the “no contact” strategy even if she decides she wants to give couples therapy a try and communicates that to me in the next few days?

    I trust I will hear from you soon. Meanwhile, keep up the good work!

    My best,
    Blake Carroll

  33. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey, Florin! Don’t beat yourself up over it as these mistakes are very common and you’re not alone. However, it’s time to move forward from those mistakes and don’t repeat it If you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on this website and answer as honestly as possible. Okay? Good luck!

  34. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey Ben! Sorry to hear you’re going through this. I’m happy you were aware of the “no contact” rule, but I cringed when I read that you sent her stuff. Watch this first: 5 Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back. I think you’re being too nice to her, man. Snooping through her phone is NOT something worth breaking up over. Let her miss you and work on you first, so cut off contact for at least 30 days, okay? Good luck!

  35. Florin
    Florin says:

    I went with a girl for 5 years, She was lost to her parents 9 months ago. And 3 months ago we are quit relations… After we got caught in the word, At one point I mentioned her mother…. And from that moment everything changed. She blocked me at FB, blocked my phone number, Has tried my mom to talk to her, They met together but did not work, I tried to apologize, I called the phone by friends, we talked about 6 minutes 2 times, she refused and offended Me. I tried to meet him directly, But has refused me nonstop, I tried to communicate with her brother, He met me very well, But after 2 days she sent me an email and told me not to stir humans, And threatened to call the police, And in the email it says that there is a desire for me to do my lord for what I did! . She has not given me a sign, She keeps a picture with me at FB, I do not know if it keeps or forgets it. According to what I saw in your videos, I’ve been wrong with the steps I did at first!!! Please tells me if there is hope in this case because we have been in love and the relationship has worked very well.

  36. Ben
    Ben says:

    Hi brad My girlfriend broke up with me on Wednesday and I want her back. We were going through a bit of a rocky patch and about 4 weeks ago I ended up going through her phone when I promised I never would at the start of the relationship. Which is 18 months. And then I denied doing it. I know I shouldn’t of. Reason I went through her phone was a lad from her work had text her saying hey gorgeous and I asked her about it and she said he does it all the time and she doesn’t message him back hardly it’s nothing he’s like it with everyone. And I excepted it but it played on my mind so I checked and she was telling the truth she doesn’t reply hardly maybe once a week. Last Saturday we talked about it as we were not really spending time together maybe twice in the 2 weeks that followed this, and she said she needed space and time to think so could we not see each other for a week until we go away to hickstead for the weekend for the showjumping. I agreed and gave her the space and I had said to her I’m only going to text you every morning saying I love you and that is it and she said that’s fine. She messaged me first most days and text me all day everyday acting like we were going to get through it. We went away and got back Sunday night everything felt like it was moving in the right direction and on Monday when I text to see how she was she was just really off with me all day picking fights and said she’s not sure if she can do this anymore so I said to her I’m not going to speak to her until she speaks to me and I didn’t I sent her a im sorry card and a me to you teddy bear to her work they arrived on Wednesday and she bit my head off and by tea time she had ended it. I never messaged her at all on Thursday as I am heartbroken and I cannot stop crying. Yet she messaged me around 4 saying hope you are ok and she still cares about me. But she has enjoyed her time being alone for the last few weeks. I really want her back please can you advise

  37. smruthi
    smruthi says:

    Thank you so much for the advice Brad . I dunno if the previous reply got posted but i just have one more question. Should i start no contact afresh like again +30 days ? or jus continue ?

  38. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    If your ex has been contacting you ever since you’ve dropped contact, then this means the “no contact” method is starting to do its charm. Watch this: How to Tell If No Contact Is Working. Anyway try to stick to the “no contact” rule this time. A situation with an ex is often fragile, so you’d really want to omit, if not minimize these mistakes. It’s one step forward, two steps backward with an ex & there are no unlimited chances with them, so if you can do it right moving forward, then do so. Check out my guide so you won’t end up making the same mistakes. Good luck!

  39. smruthi
    smruthi says:

    hi Brad,
    I’m smruthi. well i was in a relationship for like 10 months and ex has been on and off jus few months before breaking up. It was hard but i never really begged him to take me back but i told i lost the respect i had for him.And i also told whatever he does and how much ever he avoids me wont affect me anymore. And i started following the no contact rule.. In the first week he gave me a letter telling he din avoid me and he said he was sorry and to not consider him like other guys. I din reply to the letter immediately but few days later i replied and told i jus told him about a conversation that hurt me. He told he din intend it for me. i told its ok. But after reading your letter i felt like ur jus like the other guys. and i din contact him after that. But then a week after that he started texting i’m feeling the heat of your ignorance. so i told him i just want some time for myself. Few days later he went crazy and started texting “i cant look at your eyes, i feel guilty. I don’t expect a reply from u. you wanted to be with yourself right continue with it”. After texting this he exit all groups.He never acted like this before so I jus went ahead asked him to talk. He started confessing the same thing again. and then after sometime he was totally fine. And then i found myself getting hurt again coz of words he was saying. i told him i cant be with him as a friend. And he assumed i would be normal like usual. But i jus stopped talking after that. 3 weeks i maintained no contact. But on third week there was some issue in our workplace and he was held responsible( although he wasnt). I din want to break the no contact rule but i couldnt resist myself.So that day i went ahead and asked him what happened and if he was ok. After that i could feel him avoiding me.. what should i do now ?

  40. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello there, Maegan! I suggest to give it a shot because your best bet is still to employ the 30-day rule and yes, it will work in a sense where you BOTH will get to clear your mind to be in a better position to deal with each other when the time comes — instead of letting emotions overrule everything, risking things to get blown out of proportion even further. Makes sense? But will no contact ALONE work to get your ex back? Sometimes it does, but other times (especially if your situation is unique) it’s not, because the no contact phase is only part one of the three-step process I teach in my Ex Factor Guide. Learn the basics here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup). I also made a quick vid to those who are seemingly lost and could use a reminder on what to do: Want Your Ex Back? Stop Thinking About Them! (Psychological Warfare). Good luck!

  41. Maegan Jordan
    Maegan Jordan says:

    Hi Brad, so here’s my situation. My ex and I have had the greatest 6 month relationship in my eyes. Where in fact we did talk about having a future together and get engaged later this year or next. But my ex and I recently broke up the end of May. It has been a few weeks since then. But after the break up, he remained in contact with me from time to time until June 8th when I went to go pick up my stuff. He told me that day he did not want me in his life anymore and that we should not talk. He since then blocked me on some social media platforms, but not all. I haven’t talked to him since the day I picked up my stuff. Will the “no contact” still work for me to help bring him back or is all hope gone for me? Can’t wait to hear from you! Even if it is good or bad! Thank you!

  42. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    It’s most likely just your ex’s way of coping. Give him time to get over his anger, too, More about that on here: What to Do If Your Ex Blocks You on Facebook? Anyway social media should be the least of your concerns. Focus on all three phases and your ex may naturally unblock you, in time, as you learn to rebuild that attraction and re-attract this ex back to your life.. Here are the basics of all three phases to getting an ex back: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) and social-media wise, here (but then again, don’t let it become your sole focus): How to Get Your Ex Back Using Facebook (Or Instagram and Twitter!). Good luck!

  43. maya
    maya says:

    brad …i have done all the terrible things that u warn not to do in your videos…nd got blocked by him…from every where its been 2 months he didnt unblock me…what should i do now please help me

  44. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey Jess! I’m not sugarcoat, so I have to tell you that that petty argument had chipped away at your chance but if it was just that one time, then the damage may be a little less compared to if you hadn’t stopped contacting him. Watch this: 5 Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back. So moving forward, employ the 30-day rule first, okay? However, if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

  45. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Being friends right away won’t work. I still suggest to give it a shot because your best bet is still to employ the 30-day rule and yes, it will work in a sense where you BOTH will get to clear your mind to be in a better position to deal with each other when the time comes — instead of letting emotions overrule everything, risking things to get blown out of proportion even further. Makes sense? But will no contact ALONE work to get your ex back? Sometimes it does, but other times (especially if your situation is unique) it’s not, because the no contact phase is only part one of the three-step process I teach in my Ex Factor Guide. Learn the basics here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) I also made a quick vid to those who are seemingly lost and could use a reminder on what to do: Want Your Ex Back? Stop Thinking About Them! (Psychological Warfare). Good luck!

  46. Jess
    Jess says:

    BRAD PLEASE HELP, me and my ex were dating for 5 months before we broke up. He was the one who decided to do it. I loved him very much and would take him back no matter what. A week after the breakup I talked to him for the first time and we got into another argument and fight, from then on I have not talked to him and it has been around 2 weeks. Did i ruin my chances of getting him back. Please help!!!!

  47. Sam
    Sam says:

    Thank you for the reply!

    We DID break up, but since then we’ve been interacting as ‘friends’ for the last 2 weeks. Now I think I should start NC, but will it be effective because the purpose of it is to suddenly make her miss me, but the thing is since the break up, I’ve been fading away slowly. First few days we were talking a lot, then less and less. So now if I do NC, it will not be something abrupt, but the continuation of the fading away, and it won’t work, I am afraid.

  48. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey there, Sam! If there hasn’t been a breakup, then indeed contact her, man. There’s no need to go through all these phases if she hasn’t even dumped you but has just been caught up with work. It’s a bit confusing though, because you mentioned it’s been 10 days or so since the breakup… does that mean you’ve ended the relationship? Just to re-iterate, if there’s been a breakup, then you really ought to give each other space first for at least 30 days. Watch this: Will Your Ex Forget About You During No Contact? If you still need my help further on this, however, then you and I both ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Check on availability first because I only have a limited number of clients I can realistically manage before I go into spontaneous combustion. 🙂

  49. Sam
    Sam says:

    Also, I have already asked her to stay friends and we’ve been so for the last 10 days. I wish I had stumbled upon you earlier. How can I transition to the No Contact stage now if I have already begged her to be with me and then asked her to be friends with me? Or should I start NC in the first place?

    THANK YOU!

  50. Sam
    Sam says:

    Thank you so much, Brad! I have a question though. I believe it is an IMPORTANT one that challenges your advice. But before I ask, I should give an introduction to the situation. It’s been 10 days since our breakup. We’ve been in contact through facebook since then, but now I am thinking of shutting down all of our communication, which will mean that I’ve moved to the first NO CONTACT stage. However, I am not sure if this will work because the purpose of NO CONTACT is to make the partner miss you. The problem is that she has recently found a new job (not because of breakup), and she will start doing that. It’s a job that involves meeting new people and traveling around the country. So if I don’t contact her, then she will easily forget me, I think, because she will have so many distractions during the following month. So she will not be missing me. Can you please help? (We’d been together for 1.5 years in a passionate relationship). Thank you in advance!

  51. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    The thing with exes, especially the one whose idea is to break the relationship, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch and you best not respond unless it’s about something important. Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You. Good luck!

  52. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Give him space to give him a chance to get his head straight. If your ex continually message you, then it’s important to put your ex’s messages into context, especially if this happened during the “no contact” phase. Is your ex trying to contact you about something really important, like an emergency, unpaid bills, or something equally urgent? If not, and your ex is really just texting some useless random stuff and/or asses his/her power over you, then you can just ignore and continue on with the 30-day “no contact” rule. Use your discretion. Watch and follow the tips here: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts and Phone Calls (And Win Them Back).

  53. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Anthony! Sorry to hear about what happened, but yes, continue to work on yourself and focus on your own life. The best person who can answer whether you should get her back or not… is you. Take your time in coming up with this decision and don’t be hasty, that’s what matters most. That there’d be no regrets in the end, okay? Weigh out the positives and negatives as well as how much you’re willing to put up. Basically it’s her and you versus the problem. Is the problem that big that you’d want to give up, too? If you already have the guide, follow it down to a tee. Just understand that it takes time and there’s no rushing it. Good luck!

  54. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    She does get mad since she obviously needs to have those tickets, man. The “no contact” rule is the right route. However, watch this first to help you out: When Is It Bad To Ignore Your Ex? Exceptions To The ‘No Contact’ Rule. Anyway you’re not obligated to respond right away, so tell your ex you’ve been busy… and it really helps if you are. So take steps to rebuild your life first. Hang out with friends, family, get a new hobby, join a club, etc. to keep your mind off of things and to process the breakup accordingly and heal. It’s all about balance! Take care!

  55. Sopia
    Sopia says:

    I have read that it takes 21 days to make a habit.What if in 21 days he will have a habit of not having me in his life now after conversing almost everyday for 4 years.

  56. Sopia
    Sopia says:

    Hi Brad,

    I am on my 19th day of NC.But before starting this off we did talk about the last time we had an argument.He says that I need to understand our situation but then I don’t want to be hurt again.I told him that after that day (tomorrow is his birthday) I will not bother him anymore and that I will change my numbers and block him off on FB.I told him that I know he will be happy and will not regret not having me around for good.So to speak I started NC on his birthday.After 3 days he did contact me by email wherein he said “Hi,How are you?Im missing you always.” with a sad face and ended it like that.I have muster all the strength to not respond and so I ignored him until this day.But why is it he doesn’t contact me after that one?Is he respecting my decision or is he waiting for me because he is scared?Should I continue in 30 days or extend? By the way I feel better now and was successful with the NC but honestly I wanted him to beg on me so that I will know that after this I will know exactly my place.

    Thank you!

  57. Franziska
    Franziska says:

    Hey Brad,

    I’ve read your Guide and am convinced to try what you said. My situation is bad actually. I’ve started something with my best friend of ten years. Ever since october we’ve been together every single day and in January this came to be more than just friendship. It felt perfect and beautiful and went on until March. In March I’ve dared to ask him where I am standing. But instead of answering anything (I’ve even told him at some point he should say no then but at least make a statement) he never really answered. Instead he told me it’s been awesome and intense and beautiful and he’s never felt anything like that with anyone else (even his ex) and he thinks we fit 100%. But then he started screaming at me, accusing me of creating pressure and telling me really mean things like I’d do this with anyone anyway or I’ve only been waiting for this for 10 years and he could have had it a lot earlier if he’d wanted to.
    After that he said he never wanted to see me again but continued texting me every day. If I replied he said I was getting too close. If I ignored him he said I was just offended. I asked him what I could say then…he ignored it. I got a lot of messages that needed a reply like “I’ve had an accident” and the like but when I answered he always turned it around like “it’s nothing.”
    Then he suddenly wanted to meet again but only to talk about senseless stuff or his problems, asking my opinion and the like. Then i got phone calls like “I’ve wanted to clear a lot of things but not now..:” next time it would be “Everything’s normal to me!”
    Two weeks ago I got the last message. He asked me how I’ve been since he thought of me quite often. He said then I sounded sad and he didn’t like it at all…But ever since nothing at all happened. I haven’t contacted him in 2 weeks now but it seems he’s given up too… What do you think?
    Again, I’ve read your Guide and am willing to try this. I just can’t explain to myself why he acts like that suddenly since nothing bad had happened between us. It started with that simple question I asked.
    Was my main mistake to ask that? Or to tell him I didn’t get it?

  58. Brian
    Brian says:

    Hi Brad,

    My Ex contacted me on the 6th day of no contact about some money that she owe and i need to give her the tickets. I didn’t answer and a couple of hours later she responded angrier, saying to grow some balls and that she wont keep chasing me about the tickets and i should stop playing interesting about no answering her like i have some shit to get done. also saying that i have no manners. I’m doing the no contact to better myself and also see the possibilty with being with her again. but she seems angry that i didn’t answer what should i do??

  59. Beck
    Beck says:

    Couldn’t find the button to post a new comment sorry lmao. But my ex dumped me last week because of distance and it sucked I tried to ask why and persuade just a bit before agreeing now I’m on nc after texting the day after and she just texted me with a link. Do I watch whatever it is and reply or ignore for NC ? Ik she’s probably just stressed about the distance I haven’t seen her in about a year I was planning on surprising her before the split 👌🏻

  60. Anthony E
    Anthony E says:

    I went on a military trip and my girlfriend started getting angry at me over her email account, at the end of the text she said she had mostly moved out. I came home and she was pretty much moved out minus a few things which she picked up while I was at work, she also cleaned her bathroom and mowed the grass cleaned the flower beds out. So far she hasn’t returned the car keys for the car I let her use and I have not received the house keys. I am not sure I want her back even though I was dumped she was flighty at the end spending more time with others and putting me dead last we had lost our intimacy. What had led up to this was back in October she saw the writing on the wall that her job was going to lay her off, then in January they gave her a year to find a new job. She was extremely overwhelmed she had been at her job for 19 years and no matter how much comfort I gave or reassurance it seemed to push us far apart. So since October she has spent every day she was off looking for a job or helping everyone else out but me so I guess I saw it was coming. I was sad and depressed, I tried to talk with her over the past 6 months but we just drifted away. She had also started drinking even heavier she has a drinking problem and she had almost killed her self and her liver once before. I knew she was destroying both of us and I also realized she was not ever going to commit to me and it was pointless to try, I really had wanted her to move closer to my work and start over and she never liked the idea instead looking for work closer to her parents. I am currently in my no contact period getting my mind straight and getting my life in order, I need to move closer to work and work on getting back into shape. I am using your program mainly to get over her because it hurts a lot especially since she moved out in the middle of the night and with only saying she was tired, wanting to go on in life alone and she was overwhelmed at everyone being messy the animals and me. I had stepped up my game trying to be cleaner but she was living rent free and not paying anything other than food for the house. Thanks for your program, but do you think it is even worth trying to get her back. Even though I love her dearly and want us to be happy when the red flags of not wanting to commit is that great will it ever work out? I know each case is different but in your experience is it worth it or is there something bigger than what she is saying.

  61. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey man! Sorry to hear that. If you haven’t done what you said you’ll do, then it’s best to keep it that day. Doing those things will only alienate your ex. Re-orient yourself with the facts here, first: 5 Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back. In the meantime, I suggest you get busy with a lot of stuff like hobbies, work, etc. focus on what makes you feel good and take time to heal as well. Also read my Ex Factor Guide, which covers commonly possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether.Good luck!

  62. Bernhard
    Bernhard says:

    Hello Brad,

    I was in a long distance relationship for 18 months, we always saw each other for 3months, 2-3 months apart basically. She was always the one madly in love with me, I on the other side was never 100 % committed and was always open and told her about it.

    3 month ago she stopped texting me on a daily basis (I was back home and we were already 1 month apart). She stopped texting me for a awhole week, it asked her whats wrong but she evaded me and it took another 3 weeks to tell me, that she cant live in fear that I leave her for another every day and I am not ready for a relationsship. We talked about it via Skype, and I told her that I love her and wanted to fully commit and give her some time to think about it. After 3 weeks she told me it would just be the same and I am not ready, so we kinda broke up mutally without any drama.

    2 weeks later a flew over meeting some friends there, with the intention to also talk to her to get some closure. She didnt want to me up and after some texting she told me that she has fallen for a new guy for about a month that loves her dearly and does everything for her (basically all the security I have never given her). Then I totally got out of my role in the relationship and started to beg her, she was crying heavy but said she cant because she doesnot love me anymore.

    I told her I accepted her decission, and that I wanted to meet up in person to say goodbye. I bought her some roses to thank her for and appreciated our great time together, and if she every changes her mind she should text me up, because I was seriously what I told her a 6 weeks prior that I wanted to commit. Do you have any advice for this situation, it would be highly appreciated.

  63. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey Tedd! You ought to pursue her more subtly than that. Those techniques you’ve done will only backfire as time goes by, as she’ll be pissed eventually. Since she’s receptive to your contact, then that’s at least good. How you proceed depends on a lot of things. I need some more background first though, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

  64. Linda
    Linda says:

    I experienced allthe above in a long distance relationship that was leading to a title and him constantly asking me how do i feel about him. I finally expressed my feelings after feeling bad and two months later, I did everything from you’re losing interest blog and he lost interest and ghost. Do you think we can get back together, if so. What can I do. He’s 8 hours away.

  65. Tedd Domingo
    Tedd Domingo says:

    Hi Brad, I broke up with my ex 8 months ago, we dated for 5 months everything was great but I started having some issues at work and she felt I wasn’t giving her the time that she needed, I decided to focus on my work after the breakup and didn’t do any attempt to get her back, after the 8 months I realized that it was a huge mistake and decided to pursue her, she told me she was dating some else so I backed off, then after 2 weeks I send her a message and she told me she was single again, So I started pursuing her again and after 2 weeks she told me she dint wanted to be with me and that she had resentment towards me because I took too much time after the break up and that she was interested in other men, I waited a week and send her roses and a letter saying I was sorry and that I wanted another chance but I understood her so I was going to move on, then after two weeks I decided to pursue her again, I cooked some muffins for her and send her some gifts for 3 weeks, At first she responded great but as I continued she started to pull away, I felt I was maybe being to needy and clingy, so I gave her one last gift and told her that that was the end for me trying to get her back, she told me thanks for everything, and that was it, its been a week since that, I haven’t spoken to her since then, but i really feel that she is the one for me and I want to do everything I can to salvage the relationship, I am trying the no contact rule but I don’t know if this is a good situation to use it or should I do something different. I feel she has some small feelings for me but she is afraid i m going to do the same thing and she might be confused because sometimes she answers me good and sometimes she didn’t answer me at all.

    Sorry for the English, it’s my second language, help please !

  66. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi there! Sorry to hear that. You can give her a quick response after a few hours when she initially texted. But try NOT to make it a habit, especially if she keeps asking the same question and basically just checking in on you. The thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch and you best not respond unless it’s about something important. Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You.

  67. Prasanna Patil
    Prasanna Patil says:

    Hello Brad,
    My ex just broke up with me, we were dating for 9 months. She said she doesn’t feel the same way and doesn’t want to be unfair on me. She was really nice and respectful to me while breaking up. We never had fought or argued in our time together, got along really well. She wants me to be her friend forever and have been asking me how I am doing to see if I am okay since breakup, we broke up a week ago. I am not sure if I should reply her. I don’t want to be rude to her either. I feel she is a genuine girl as she cares for me still. Please advise what I should do. Thanks.

  68. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi! Who’s Chris? 🙂 Don’t expect to get your ex back if all you do is beg or plead. This simply wouldn’t work and even if it does, getting your ex to take you back out of pity will only ensure another breakup in the future. So at this point, try to do some damage control, all right? Depending on the damage done, it may or may not be too late…but don’t make the same mistakes! On the flip side, however, you could just be overreacting, especially with all the stuff that’s been going on… so don’t be so hard on yourself. Most people are guilty of this at some point. So if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

  69. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Sally! Your case is actually one of the cases where the “no contact” rule is actually an exception…but DON’T initiate random contact in any way and don’t make any unnecessary chitchats, all right?I’ve discussed it in these videos, as well as how to handle it: When Is It Bad To Ignore Your Ex? Exceptions To The ‘No Contact’ Rule and How To Act Around Your Ex (6 Tips For Handling Post-Breakup Encounters) but read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll have an in-depth view on how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential at http://www.breakupbrad.com Okay? Take care!

  70. venkatesh
    venkatesh says:

    Hi chris
    i am having a problem with my ex girlfriend.she loved & dated me for 3 years but i ignored her. after 3 years she is not untested as i have not shown any love.i am scared that she will not be in my life i started convenience her but she not interested i did every thing begging telling future with my ,every time i call she says i am not getting any feeling for u what to do i cant give u other chance she is so rood,she cry when ever i call her,she is not ready to lessen what i want to say its more then 8 Mon .she says i cant live with u without love i am interested in someone else so please leave me lets be normal don’t call me.things are going wares day by day last month she told me give no contact for 1 Mon time to think but after 1 Mon she says i tried but i feel nothing so please leave my.man i need her in my life please suggest me how to Handel.

  71. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    If your ex continually message you, then it’s important to put your ex’s messages into context, especially if this happened during the “no contact” phase. Is your ex trying to contact you about something really important, like an emergency, unpaid bills, or something equally urgent? If not, and your ex is really just texting some useless random stuff and/or asses his/her power over you, then you can just ignore and continue on with the 30-day “no contact” rule. Use your discretion. Watch and use the tips here as a reference to the guide: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts and Phone Calls (And Win Them Back). Good luck!

  72. Sally
    Sally says:

    Hi Brad. My boyfriend left me 7 days ago and had been in touch daily to see how I was doing. We lived together so I’ve seen him a few times also. He acts like nothing has changed still wants to sit down and chat. We never really argued in our relationship or break up. I tried one day of no contact and I received 3 text messages and a phone call. I answered one message as I felt rude and he was offering to buy me something, I assume out of guilt. I know him and he’s the type just to get mad and move on from me ignoring him. I don’t want him to buy me anything but I don’t know if I should reply. Should I answer himy or start the no contact. I’m not sure it will work for me. I haven’t heard from him since.

  73. Amanda
    Amanda says:

    Hi Brad,

    I would like to ask for some advice. My girlfriend and I broke up 5 days ago, it was a very understanding and overall good break-up, nobody got angry and we both tried to really understand each other. We live together so we still cuddled throughout the night and it was very hard for us to separate in the morning. I left our house to sleep somewhere else for the rest of the week, because I needed some space and couldn’t stand being in our house. I almost immediately initiated the no contact period, without telling her I wouldn’t be contacting her. 2 days in the no contact period she texted me saying; Hey, how are you doing? – I didn’t reply yet, it’s already been 24 hours. I’m a bit conflicted now, do I have to reply to her or not? I already bought the book and read all of it tonight, I know you say it’s okay to reply in this case, but because it’s already been 24 hours should I still do it? And if so, what should I say? Thanks for the reply!

  74. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Louise! Give yourselves the time and space you both need first. It’s still important to put the “no contact” rule into priority because if you’ve been in touch after the breakup too soon, then you BOTH aren’t taking the time to process the breakup and been acting like it hadn’t happened. Burying the problems which had caused the breakup in the first place is the first step towards a doomed relationship. Make sense now? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

  75. Iouise
    Iouise says:

    Hi Brad,
    My boyfriend and I break up 2 weeks ago but we still chat daily for the first week, until i draw the clear lines.
    We have been together for almost 5 years and sometimes a long distance relationship (study in different places but meet up during semester break (1-2months)). Since he went for a student exchange program in other countries, it is hard to text or call with the time difference. I was pretty insecure and jealous when he mix around with girls.
    Often, we had some argument and things dint go well and he pop out with the break up thing but saying he still loves me and wanted to be with me but not right now. We need some space for self improvement and stuff.
    I’m now trying the no contact period (4days) but sometimes still cant help myself looking for his stuff. He’s ignoring me (even we online at the same time) and i got the feeling he is hiding things from me for i dont know what reasons….
    2days after no contact period, I found out that he was really close with a girl and was flirting with her asking her interested to get a boyfriend and stuff…. I was really heart broken because I thought there was a hope for us to be back together when he’s back.
    I’m so lost and wondering is he still loving me or should i give up?
    I really want him back because I still loves him.

    Thanks.

  76. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey man! Sorry to hear that. You don’t have to purposefully avoid her. That will only make you, your ex, and everyone around you feel awkward. In fact, this is one of the cases where the “no contact” rule is actually an exception…but DON’T initiate random contact in any way and don’t make any unnecessary chitchats, all right?I’ve discussed it in these videos, as well as how to handle it: When Is It Bad To Ignore Your Ex? Exceptions To The ‘No Contact’ Rule and How To Act Around Your Ex (6 Tips For Handling Post-Breakup Encounters) but read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll have an in-depth view on how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. Take care!

  77. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Blocking you could be her means of coping to what you’ve done, so try not to panic. Watch and follow the tips here the best you can: How to Get Your Ex Back If You Cheated on Them. Being patient here as know as pulling all the right moves are essential to winning her back. If you still need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

  78. tara
    tara says:

    thank u Brad a lot for advice,should I start that NC or now its not worth of it,cause we are also distance and what to do if he text me and etc.? Regards from Serbia

  79. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Give him a reason to want to commit to you again, so don’t give away the goods too easily. Watch and follow the tips here: What to Do If Your Ex Wants Sex. If you still need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

  80. Johnny
    Johnny says:

    My problem is…..We work in a same company/office!
    We break up 6 weeks ago, she already has a new boyfriend now (which is her friend before, they known each others long time ago (6 years) since studying at college. The boy chased her before (6 years ago), but my ex rejected him at that time. After that, they became a friend.

    The boy worked in other country after graduate and quit his job at the end of 2016. After a 1.5 year haven’t see each other (but still keep contact as a best-friend), they met again and hang out frequently in Jan 2017.
    At the end of Jan, my ex-girlfriend wants to break up with me, and said she has some “special love feeling” towards this boy. At the Beginning of Feb, they been together (before Valentine day).
    ———————————————-

    My ex are 24 yrs old, and I am 8 years older than her.
    She is a emotional and forthrightness girl, and always has negative thought and confused mind, a little bit childish and headstrong (but i still love her).

    We work in the same company/office (we are colleague), but we seldom work together, since we are in different department, and handling different field. But we can still see each others everyday (Mon to Fri) since our office is not big.

    She still trying to remain friend with me, and keep chat with me like a “close friend”.
    She sometimes ask for my comment/opinion about her job or life.
    I never contact her proactively, but she often called me by internal phone in office (or sometime send text message), and sometimes ask me to go out for lunch with her. She keeping contact me on working days/working hour, but never contact me at the weekend (she hang out with his new boyfriend at the weekend).

    How do i apply “no contact rule”? I can’t avoid to pick up the phone call in office, but She is emotional and headstrong person. If she feel that I go cold and obviously ignoring her, she will choose to leave far away from me and will never talk to me again in the future.

  81. taulant
    taulant says:

    Hello Brad,I breakup with my girlfriend like 1 month ago because I cheated on her and we are not talking like for a month but she text me like 2 times but no more I wonder if she wants me
    Again or not she blocked me in all social
    Media but not in her phone number but also 1 or 2 week ago she closed her facebook and insta account andi wonder whyy,is this a bad or god?

  82. H Mari
    H Mari says:

    ok, so the story goes on. I ignored his massages for 30 days, and now he texted me that he might took the wrong decision, and want´s to meet me. He now texts me almost every day, and we did Skype. He live in a other city, so he want´s to come an stay at my house for a weekend. I know it will be difficult not to have sex with him, so I wonder what to do next…

  83. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Definitely give him time to let him get over the negativity of the situation first — not necessarily the relationship. Give him space and he’ll miss you and will naturally calm down as well. Watch this: How to Make Your Ex Miss You and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential! Check it out. Good luck!

  84. Tara
    Tara says:

    Hi Brad! I was with my ex 10 months distance relationship,we had arguments but loved each other,I was generally a bit suspicious about him cause in the begining he wasnt sure if this would work.Last 2 months before break up I moved to visit him and lived together,I used the situation after arguments to tell me its over because of my arguments and he isnt sure is it possible to countinue like this on a distance cause he hasnt a good job and he is scared about future.He is 25,I am 29 and he told me that he wants no obligation and be alone and few days before break up talking about our future.I didnt see your videos earlier about no contact and ofcourse I made a mistake and beg him for another chance,last time we spoke on Skype few days ago and he told me that he will call me to speak but it didnt mean that we are together just something like friends,from him I know that he miss me although he told me when he dumped me that he doesnt love me,What should I do now when he calls? Thanks a lot.

  85. Alan
    Alan says:

    Hello Brad! i need tips on what to do. MY girlfriend and i have been dating for two years she is 19 i am 17 and we were planning on moving out together soon. I started getting insecure jelous controlling pretty much all of the no no’s and she lost interest in me and broke up with me 4 days ago. Even when she broke up with me she was sobbing and couldn’t even say the words, i cried hysterically and begged her to not leave me and she said she just wanted to be best friends. The next day i called her like 3 times in the morning. That night she came over and scratched my back and cuddled. The whole next day i didn’t text her once until she texted me first and said she wanted to hang out that night and she said she loved me. I said it back and agreed to hang out. The morning i called her we made plans to hang out in two days then a two days later i would go to her house then a week later we were going to go to a show together then 10 days after that she wants me to come to her birthday dinner with her family and the next day take her on a birthday date. I know for a fact she is hanging out with a lot of guys and i am acting really good about it but it still hurts. i bought the ex factor and it said the no contact 31 day rule but its a difficult situation because i feel like i cant just not talk to her when she is expecting me to do all of these things. Also i am afraid that me just ignoring her will drive her away farther and i cant handle that. Please give me reassurance what to do. I will do anything to get her back

  86. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Stefan! Sorry to hear it. Never attempt to talk your way back into a relationship with an ex though. That just wouldn’t work. Here, watch this: How to Not Win Your Ex Back. Take your time in working stuff out for yourself. As for showing these changes, here are some guidelines: How to Show Your Ex You’ve Changed. If you still need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

  87. Stefan
    Stefan says:

    Hey Brad! I really need your advise. I had a boyfriend (I am boy, 21 years old, he is 19) and about a month ago I decided to split up after 18 months of relationship. The reason was that I was unfaithful to him but I told him (I had dating apps and he knew that) – our relationship had faded and that’s why I thought it would have been better to break up.

    We had loads of exams, so we were very stressed and especially I behaved under heavy pressure. He was all the time typing and calling me and then he stopped and I realized that I actually do love him. Really. Then we met and we had accidentally a wild sex and he told me he had sex with two guys as well. I started to feel desperate and cried. After a few days I gave him a bunch of flowers and said sorry for everything. He told me he likes me, but doesn’t love me because of what I did. I offered him to have a relationship again, but he refused.

    It has been a week I realized it and 4 weeks we split up. In 3 days we are going to the theatre together… Shall I cancel it? Yesterday he told me again that he likes me… I found out that he had more guys. I don’t mind now.. that much. What would you recommend me to do? I know I made several essential mistakes…
    Thank you for your great and motivating videos and for your reply. Regards, Stefan.

    P. S. I started to workout – in one week I made a really good progress, I study harder, I socialize and he knows that and likes it… Because all the time he wanted to change me to behave like this…

  88. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Erin! Sorry to hear about the breakup. I hear you. Breakup “excuses” are exactly that, excuses. Don’t attempt to try to talk your way back into a relationship with him though, that would never work. Follow the tips here first: How Not to Win Your Ex Back. For now, give him time in order to get to what I call an “emotional neutral” okay? Don’t rush it. In the mean time, try to see the roles that you’ve BOTH played that led to the breakup. From there you can see whether there’s a real chance to fix things or not. Good luck!

  89. Erin
    Erin says:

    Hi Brad! My boyfriend broke up with me just over a week ago. His reasons were silly and I am really confused. We were together for a year and a half and he suddenly out of the blue broke it off with me. We stayed in contact for a week after the breakup and then I found out about the no conatact rule, the thing is I met up with him on friday to “talk things over” which only changed his mind for a little while and then the negative emotions came back. Ever since then I haven’t spoke with him but I let him know that I needed space! I am scared I handled it wrong and he won’t miss me! I really miss him so much and I really want the man of my dreams back in my life. I scored 71 in the love test. Please help.

  90. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Magda, sorry to hear that. This could just be due to misunderstanding though. Have you ever communicated your feelings to him about wanting more of his time? For example, if he’s heading for a night out with friends and you’re too tired, have you tried suggesting staying in together? Anyways yes, if you want him back, start reaching out to him,using the tips here: Text Messages to Send to Your Ex while keeping these in mind: What to Talk About With Your Ex (Do’s and Don’ts). But if you’d like to take things a step further, sign up for my coaching program and/or read my Ex Factor Guide to get all the information you need. Good luck!

  91. Magda
    Magda says:

    Hi Brad! Me and my boyfriend broke up in November after more than 2 years. I just started my internship in his country (it was a long distance relationship) so I moved with him. We had a lot of fights as I was very busy and tired because of my work and all he wanted to do was partying at the weekends. I was so angry… one day he made a party where he was hugging another girl. It didn’t look so innocent like hugging a friend. So I started a fight … again. The day after he said he doesn’t see any future. We just fight, I’m always jealous and I don’t want him to be happy because I didn’t allow him to meet his friends (of course in my opinion it’s not true I was alone in a new county so I wanted more attention ). To make it worse I had to finish my work so we lived together for 2 months after the break up. He was acting like nothing happend. Hugging kissing etc. When I was coming back to my country he said he loved and he would come to visit me. I’m trying to not speak with him however because of some paper work from his country I need his help. All we talk about is that. It’s been 1,5 month since I left. I would like to start talking to him about causal things but I don’t know how. Also do you think there is any chance to get back together? Greetings

  92. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Good question! No, don’t bring up the topic unless he asks. If he does, just tell him you’ve been busy and it helps if you really are. But if your ex continues to message you, then it’s important to put your ex’s messages into context, especially if this happened during the “no contact” phase. Is your ex trying to contact you about something really important, like an emergency, unpaid bills, or something equally urgent? If not, and your ex is really just texting some useless random stuff and/or asses his/her power over you, then you can just ignore and continue on with the 30-day “no contact” rule. Use your discretion. Watch and follow the tips here: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts and Phone Calls (And Win Them Back).

  93. H Mari
    H Mari says:

    So, I´m now folowing your advice and have ignored his messages. Now he stopped reaching out, so I guess I´m the one reaching out next. After the no contact of course. I was wondering when the no contact is over, do I say something about why I did´t answer him if he askes me about this?

  94. keerthi
    keerthi says:

    Hi brad..iam from india……and i brokeup with ma girlfriend a few days ago..the reason for breakup…..she felt like iam pressurizing her to some point…and finally she left me few days ago….just a before a day…she breakup with….and she is moving on now…she was in madly love with me before breakup…..and now she took her final desicion to move on….she already have been in such kind of situation before…..so she never give a second chance to anyone….she is so strong in her desicion…….and that cant b changed ever……

    So help me out …brad to get my exback…forever….after break up….i pleaded for one r two days…..we were great togther before 2 to 3 months ago……n jzz after a month…..she breakup with me finally…….
    I want your help ….brad….text me few tips to get hr….back….and how long should be i no contact with her……she is in so far distance from me…….before the breakup…and now too……

  95. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Marcy! Sorry to hear that. Since it was about something you know would potentially cause trouble in your relationship, granted the history, it would’ve been a better move to tell him about your plan — which is to set this other guy up with your friend and how your friend/roommate is too shy to initiate. Don’t you think that would’ve lessened if not totally prevent the misunderstanding? 🙂 Communication is key. Right now he may be pissed with you though, so try NOT to push it. Watch and follow the tips here: How to Get Your Ex to Forgive You. Good luck!

  96. Marcy
    Marcy says:

    Hi Brad, so a couple of days ago my boyfriend of almost 5 years went through my phone without my permission. I was texting the guy i cheated on him with two and a half years ago, but the problem was that i wasn’t trying to talk this man or hook up with him; i was simply trying to set him up with my roommate; who happened to stumble across him on tinder. My roommate was very timid and shy to contact him first, and desperately asked me if i could start the conversation for her and hook them up after telling her that i knew him. My boyfriend saw the texts and got the wrong idea, he thought the girl i was referring to was myself. But i truly was trying to help out a friend. I know i had no business texting the man who caused problems in my relationship in the past, but i was simply trying to help out a friend and i meant no harm. I didn’t think that my boyfriend was going to freak out and break up with me the way he did. We haven’t spoken since the argument, when it happened he stormed out of my apartment without letting me explain myself. He’s the man i want to spend the rest of my life with; this whole thing was just a huge misunderstanding, so i really hope he’ll give me a chance to explain myself. Would applying the no contact rule help this situation? Do you think he’ll try to contact me? or do you think he’s truly done with me and our relationship? HELP!

  97. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Leah! Sorry to hear you’re going through this. It seems like your ex fiance is a confused man. What were the issue/s in your relationship that triggered that kind of reaction from him? Make sure to give yourselves time to process what happened. It’s a bad idea to be friends, so I don’t suggest you down that path. Otherwise, it’ll just be history repeating itself. Let him really miss you instead and for him to come around so employ the “no contact” rule for 30 days. Watch this: How to Make Your Ex Miss You. Take care!

  98. Leah
    Leah says:

    Hi Brad,
    My fiance and I have been on a “break” since New Years Eve, though things were bad since October of this year. Two weeks ago, he took back my engagement ring (under the guise of being nice and getting one of the diamonds replaced), only to not give it back! He says he doesn’t want me out of his life, but he also says he doesn’t see how it can work. He is obsessed with bringing up past fights, many of them petty and insignificant. Whenever I try to have a conversation, he yells. A little background – he and I met over 10 years ago, dated for 3, broke up for 2 or 3 but remained friends. Both of us had serious relationships in between (he FREAKED when I got into mine and as soon as it ended he elbowed his way back into my life). I told him I refused to date him again after all these years. In return, he spent months winning my affections. He wrote me love notes practically daily, bought flowers…the type of stuff you see in movies. Then, he bought me the most incredible ring (same one he just decided to “keep.”) I’m about 5 days into No Contact and he’s sending me texts like, “I want to know how you’re doing. I think about your feelings often.” Do I respond? Keep going with NC? I’m just at a loss with this man.

  99. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Sorry to hear that. You’re right, though, it’s a bad idea to be friends. The boundaries won’t be clear and you’re technically both free to date other people. Wouldn’t it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you’re only “friends” now, don’t you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch this video so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”)
    and but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

  100. Irina
    Irina says:

    Hi Brad, me and my boyfriend split a week ago, he has stayed with me for almost 2 years and half. He told me before we split up that its not the same anymore and he does not feel attracted to me like he used to. I been trying this week to be distant and not contact him but he has to vome to get his things from my house as he is renting a place. He said he still thinks about me and then he didn’t texted me. He has that hot cold thing that you have said.
    I wanna stay away from him after he picks up his stuff and try to be distant.
    He has not cheated on me and he said he does not regret meeting me or beeing with its just not how it should be and that he hopes we can be friends. I have never been friends with any ex and wont start now.
    But at the same time I love him and want him back.
    Do you think if I take your advice things will change or do u think it could be too late?

  101. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    He has to feel what it’s like NOT to have you in his life, so go at least a month without having any forms of communication with him, all right? The only time you ought to answer is if he’s reaching out about something truly important. You see, the thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch. Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You. Good luck!

  102. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Sorry to hear about the breakup, Carlos. If you’ve been in a long distance relationship for five years without ever seeing her in person though, then it be time to start taking steps towards moving on. What’s preventing you two from meeting up in the first place with all this time and chance you had with each other? Giving up is totally up to you, but I suggest you consider the stuff I’ve discussed here: How to Get Your Long Distance Ex Back.

  103. H Mari
    H Mari says:

    Brad, My boyfriend broke up with me 30 days ago. I the 3 first weeks he contacted me every second da y to tell me that he missed me, asked me how I was doing etc. I started the no contact rule right away but a has bee answering him polite but short, and waited a while to answer. I also told him in a nice way that I care for him, but I need some that with no contact. He told me he understood, but kept contacting me. Last week he texted me and told me he thought it was very strange that I answered him som cold, but that he had to get used to that. I answered him that I did ´t answers cold, but distant. And that that´s the way it has to be right now. I hope you are doing well….etc. No he stopped contacting me, I did´t hear from him in a week. No it´s 30 days, and I wonder. I´m I keeping up the no contact for a while, or am I supposed to reach out now?

  104. CarlosDreamNight
    CarlosDreamNight says:

    Hi, Brad.
    I date 5 years at a distance. She and I spend a lot on this date. Full of dreams. From these 5 years I went to meet her in person. Thereafter that our love became stronger still. There everyday communicated with WEB CAM and love posting on facebook. Only lately I’ve been kind of rude, kind of not caring about her being immature and everything. There was a fight every day. We celebrate our data with her super happy. 2 days later in the discussion she broke up with me. Brava, hurt and determined to follow alone. Ai 2 days after acquiring and I assumed my mistakes. And I asked to go back. She said that I do not want to go back to it now to grow evolve to work and to follow her dreams. Ai asked for a chance she said that ate the end of one day has a chance to return because a chance to return almost does not exist. And she’s been treating me very cold as if she did not even make feelings for me. She can not be friends. Then I told her I’m going to give up. She says that who gives up is why she does not love. If I want to give up all right, then do not come with drama. I asked her is she liking someone. She said no, that is not so. Ask her why she’s treating me so cold. She speaks is nothing. See more about it would treat better. She likes what I put on facebook, before she has almost 24 hours wanting to be with me, now she barely walks in. When I see my life. I started to think it’s her little game with me. What am I supposed to do, Brad?

  105. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    The thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch. Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You. Good luck!

  106. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Dante! Sorry to hear about the breakup. This is one of the cases where the “no contact” rule is actually an exception…but DON’T initiate random contact in any way and don’t make any unnecessary chitchats, all right? This means if you have to talk to her, do it for your daughter’s sake and NOT to lure her back in — at least not right away. There is a time for that. I’ve discussed it in these videos, as well as how to handle it: When Is It Bad To Ignore Your Ex? Exceptions To The ‘No Contact’ Rule and How To Act Around Your Ex (6 Tips For Handling Post-Breakup Encounters) but read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll have an in-depth view on how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. Good luck!

  107. Alphonso
    Alphonso says:

    Brad,
    My girlfriend broke up with me on New Years Eve. I didn’t beg and plead but I did initially tell her that it was not what I wanted. For the next several days there was no contact. I didn’t text nor call her. She eventually texted me after about four days because her dad was in the hospital and she was worried. My replies were what I thought were simply supportive without mentioning anything about us. She then began to text me everyday for the next week. The texts were light-hearted and friendly, again with no mention of our relationship. She does some training about twice a month in the school where I teach. She had been texting me for about 3 days at this point. The day she was in my school she brought me a bottle of juiced vegetables because she claimed she was concerned about my health. I thanked her and she and I went about our work days. She seemed okay but I was still struggling over the breakup. During lunch as I was in my car ready to leave she called and asked where I was and what I was doing for lunch. I told her I was in my car and she just came outside, jumped in my car and we went to lunch. Again, it was light-hearted with no mention of our relationship. She continued to text me and asked me to even call her one night. I didn’t know what to think but I hoped we were getting back together. Mind you, I hadn’t initiated any of the contact on any day. She mentioned us possibly meeting for a movie on the following Wednesday. On that day there was no contact. I tried to contact her the next day, which was the first time since our breakup that I had initiated contact. She finally responded at around midnight. I asked her what was going on in her head with regard to us and she informed me she was used to talking to me but still felt it was best for us to not be together. She hasn’t contacted me since nor have I attempted contact. I guess I made the mistake of talking to her as it was helping her over the breakup but it only made it worse for me.

  108. Dante
    Dante says:

    Hey Brad. Im a 40 yr old Man and me and my ex broke up she says three months i say 1 month ago. I want to do the No Contact thing but we have an 8 yr old daughter. I changed my life for our relationship for me and her and my daughter. We were together for 10 yrs. We been through it all, from her dad passing 6 yrs ago to my 32 yr old sister passing from cancer two yrs ago. My ex has MS and diabetes. She was 280+ pounds when we met. She lost 112lbs since then. I am very proud. But We had finance and other problems during. But I loved her dearly. Never cheated and put her on a pedastol. I have been back and forth staying in the house due to no where to go. She doesnt work and is addicted to social media and getting alot of attention from more guys from her weight loss. It went from saying we alot to saying I. I Love her and want my relationship to work. But she seems to want the attetion from others than just me. What do i do when my child is involved. And she sends mixed signals. I think she knows that she has me here. We spent last week having intimate contact and spent christmas and New Years together. But I cant be friends on facebook and I actually have to hide so her “friends” dont know that we still are close and we live together. I dont know what to do cause I am currently searching for counciling and really have been left in a Very depressed state. I have lost my self esteem and pride and confidence over the course of years. I currently lost my job cause of neck and nerve damage. So i am at a really low point. And for her to leave at my lowest. I’ve seen text messeges and snapchats etc to guys say i am a terrible person when in actuality im not.Her mom which is one of my best friends knows that my ex is very unstable. She tells guys she works and takes care of my daughter by herself without me which hurts cause i been there since day one. And i wonder why she condemns me if i dont have the money to take a trip but she doesnt help with bills when she knows she can work. I think the Illnesses are used as a crutch. But what do I do. I am in settle down mode and shes in Im the hot girl now mode. Hellpp please.

  109. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    It’s still important to put the “no contact” rule into priority because if you’ve been in touch after the breakup too soon, then you BOTH aren’t taking the time to process the breakup and been acting like it hadn’t happened. Burying the problems which had caused the breakup in the first place is the first step towards a doomed relationship. Make sense now? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

  110. Nevena
    Nevena says:

    Hey Brad, I broke up with my boyfriend 10 months ago, because I was jealous. After the breakup, we met eachother and wanted to get back together again but it didn’t work cause he didn’t want other people to know that we are together again. Now, we are texting each other almost every day. So I started no contact phase 2 days ago. And yesterday he sent me love song. We usually send each other songs but it’s the first time that he sent me a love song. Maybe it’s just coincidence. So, should I completely ignore him? I am kind of afraid that he is going to get mad or stop texting me because of me ignoring him. I don’t know what is right thing to do, please help!!

  111. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi, Keith! Sorry to hear about the breakup. Scared of you? Why, what happened? You might want to check out this vid to help you out: How to Get a Girlfriend (And Make Her Addicted to You). And looking at how things have been recently, I highly suggest you employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, at http://www.breakupbrad.com All right? Good luck!

  112. Keith
    Keith says:

    Hey Brad, I broke up with my girlfriend over a month ago. We officially broke up yesterday. It was very bad. She told me to leave her alone and go find another girlfriend..she wants nothing to do with me. She said my insecurities have driven her crazy and she has become scared of me. We argued and I said some pretty mean stuff and I apologized for that. I even bought roses, and other material things. I think that she is seeing someone else but she denies it. He way of doing things has changed so much; communication and all. So I became suspicious. But I am not even sure I can get her back; hence I purchased your program. Man it hurts so bad!

  113. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Sorry to hear about the breakup, Waqar. It’s quite sad to see how one relationship that’s seemingly going well (to the point of you two almost getting married) come to a complete halt all of a sudden. Begging and pleading might have put a damper on your chances, though, but depending on the damage done, it may or may not be too late… just don’t make the same mistakes! On the flip side, however, you could just be overreacting, so don’t be so hard on yourself. Most people are guilty of this at some point. So if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible, but whatever the case, I recommend you really give each other space for at least a month. Okay? Good luck!

  114. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Sarita! It’s not so different, but the dynamics may change a bit depending on who plays the more dominant role. I recommend to sign up for my coaching program for that, so I can take a closer look and see what’s really happening. Anyway sorry to hear about the breakup. What kind of issues did you two have in this relationship? I think at this point, you ought to stop all contacts with her. This will not only help her miss you, but will help you focus on yourself and your own life for the moment, instead of confronting her with who she’s dating — which isn’t productive at all. Don’t respond to her unless it’s about something really important like unpaid bills, shared responsibilities, etc. Good luck and hopefully talk to you soon!

  115. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi, Nina! Well, first off, if you’ve done the first phase (which is the “no contact” rule) correctly, your ex won’t know for sure you still have feelings for them. Follow the Ex Factor Guide down to a tee to help you with that, since it’s a pretty complicated process to explain all of it here. As for reaching out to you with a pointless message, watch what I’ve discussed here first, as it covers your particular scenario, watch this til’ the end of the vid so you won’t miss out any important detail: Hidden Clues In Your Ex’s Text Messages (Uncover Their TRUE FEELINGS!). Lastly, now there is no cure for being immature/irresponsible on his part, but giving him enough time does tend to help him see things clearly and hopefully realize his mistakes. So again, keeping things fun and light when you re-establish contact is key. Good luck! 🙂

  116. Waqar Ali
    Waqar Ali says:

    Hi Brad,
    I am 31 and my Ex gf 27.We had relationship just over 2 years.She lives in a hostel with her best friend as her roommate.We were about to get married this year.This June,I went abroad for 3 months for a job search and after returning didn’t met her for 3 weeks.At 3 weeks end,we had a fight on phone in which I accused her friend of brainwashing her and called her friend a prostitute.Next day she came to me and said our relationship is over,you never cared about me,didn’t met me etc.Over next 4 weeks I tried my best to convince her (actually worst) by begging and pleading with two separate weeks of radio silence.Sometimes she said ok I want to be back again and next day she went colder.Last week I met her and she said it’s over.I said its ok I wont call or text you again,its over for me too.Soon after her text came that I dont want you to be that depressed.I said leave me alone.That was our last conversation.I have started 30 days NC rule.
    How long should be my contact period be? Is there anything else I could do?

  117. Sarita
    Sarita says:

    Hi Brad,
    I am currently going thru a lesbian breakup which lasted 10 mths, not sure if that makes a difference for your programs. I am 36 and she is 29. She broke up with me a little over a month ago. She said that she was not in love with me anymore and we had a couple issues throughout our relationship that kept coming back up. So long story short, we met each other online and fell madly in love with each other within a month. We both came out of 3 yr controlling relationships She actually proposed to me at about a month and I said yes. There was a friend that she had past sexual relations with but found out they were not compatible. I didn’t trust the girl at all throughout the relationship, we hung out with her all the time and she would tell me that I need to trust her. It was hard, I went thru therapy and stopped drinking for a while and things seems to be good. Then I started drinking again and the same jealousy came up again. So fast forward to now that the breakup happened. I lived in the house up until a few days ago and I thought I might have a chance to get her back. She would initiate texting with me everyday. She would flirt, we would hang out, cook dinner together or go out for drinks. We did sleep together 3 times and cuddle a few times. I asked her if she was dating and she said that she was talking to people and hanging out but no relationship with anyone. The day after I moved out of the house, I went into the security camera to take my email out of the system and noticed some saved videos so I watched them and I saw a woman come out of the house. I immediately texted her that I saw it and she ignored me all weekend, I’m assuming she was with the woman. I apologized for my mistake but she never responded. Then on Mon she wrote me a text that said she is done and won’t be in contact for a while. I stopped texting her to give her space. She then started texting me and I continued to ignore her. She all of a sudden got pissed at me saying she wasn’t going to play this game with me. Do I really have a chance at getting her back at this point? Why is she now reaching out? Thanks Brad, anything at this point will help. I’m starting to work on myself but I’m still devastated. Hope to talk soon!

  118. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Ana. Try to see what has really caused this on and off dynamic since that’s another area to look at, altogether. Read this free article I wrote to know what to expect: Things You Must Learn If You’re In an On-and-Off Relationship. Being clingy or overly jealous might have been a big culprit in the breakup, though, so try to change those. Cut off contact for at least a month while you work on this, and watch this: How to Get a Boyfriend (And Keep Him!). Good luck!

  119. Nina
    Nina says:

    Hello everybody ! 🙂

    Dear Brad, I watched some of your videos and I can’t help wonder …
    1) When your EX reaches you, after the no contact period , with a pointless hello …. is there a way to test his intentions in order to avoid pointless communication and unnecessary disappointment and loss of energy? many times they do it to kill some time because it’s easy considering they know you have feelings.

    2) When the ex contacts with you after the no contact period, you suggest to be polite and pleasant. But my relationship ended with him being very irresponsible and unable to handle it. I am afraid that being polite and pleasant might give him the message that it is acceptable to treat me that way. How to be polite and funny when I feel he owns me an apology the less . I need to know he recognizes the measure of his mistakes?

    ??? Help ??? 🙂

  120. Ana
    Ana says:

    hi brad. i just broke up with my boyfriend. we’re both 19. we’ve been together for 4 years. but during that time, there were so many times we broke up and get back together again. But this time we both realized that we’re old enough to be serious in a relationship. Its been 3 months we’re together and everything was fine. until last night, i don’t know maybe i was being so clingy and get mad when he went out to see his friends. i don’t know why i never been like this before. actually we texted before he went out. so he thought that he already gave me the attention. But the next day, i apologized for my behavior and it seems like he’s not into the relationship anymore. he was thinking that i’m being unfair to him. he said that he’s not my type. he can’t be like what i wanted him to be. we had a lot of fight and he thought that this relationship is not working out. so that’s it. that’s the last time I communicated with him. but the biggest problem is, his ex is trying so hard to win him back. his ex wanted him so bad (even though she knew we’re in a relationship). I’m afraid that he will choose her instead of me.I really need your guide what should i do and shouldn’t do. Thanks Brad. Hope to hear from you soon.

  121. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Lia. Sorry to hear about the breakup. To be quite honest with you, you aren’t likely gonna get the signs in the first month, since this is a time where you ought to give him a chance to miss you while you focus on yourself, and perhaps find ways to curb your jealousy a bit? But here are the signs to look for: 8 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back. And if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

  122. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey man, sorry to hear. Under the usual circumstances, I would suggest for you to do the 30-day “no contact” rule with your ex, but seeing as how you work together, this case then automatically exempts it from this rule. Just DON’T initiate random contact in any way and don’t make any unnecessary chitchats, okay? I’ve discussed it in these videos, as well as how to handle it: When Is It Bad To Ignore Your Ex? Exceptions To The ‘No Contact’ Rule Since cheating is involved, expect her to take a while to come around since forgiveness and learning to trust again both take time. Watch this: How to Get Your Ex Back If You Cheated On Them. If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

  123. Lia Bakar
    Lia Bakar says:

    Hi Brad, I am Lia, 43 years old. My ex boyfriend (who is 59 years old) broke up with me about 10 days ago, after being together for 3 months. Our relationship was mature and lots of laughter and understanding. Then i blew up mentioning his ex and I accused him of still have feelings towards his ex girlfriend. We didnt speak for 4 days after the accusation, and after that 4 days, he texted me saying he doesnt want us to be lovers anymore, he felt miserable about the whole thing and he wants us to be just friends. I begged and pleaded, sent him long texts pleading for him to forgive me… then i stumbled into your youtube video and started the NO Contact Rule. I am now in the No-Contact period with my ex for 10 days and counting. Everyday I miss him more…Few days ago i noticed that he unblocks me on his whatsapp (on the day we argued, he blocked me on whatsapp)..but he didnt contact me or anything yet. Will i ever have a chance to get him back? and what are the clues i should look for to know whether he is still in love with me and want me back? Please help

  124. john
    john says:

    hey brad i had a relationship of 3 years with my girlfriend,but i cheated her ,so she left me i m feeling very guilty i realized my mistake .i pleaded her every possible way i tried to get back her back she is very stubborn .she said i dnt want you anymore but i want her so deep…its has 2-3 weeks since breakup .i cant maintain the no contact rule becaz she works with me .when i see her i m getting emotional what should i do to get her back .i tried your quiz i got 66 points ….is there any hope to get her back ,,,i m feeling so desparate .what should i do plzz help me out brad

  125. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Jane, sorry to hear about the breakup. It’s too soon to really tell how this will turn out, since things are still so fresh, plus there are many more factors to be put into consideration, aside from what you’ve told me. A score of 75 isn’t all that bad, though, just make it a point to avoid any of the mistakes like the plague from now on, okay? Cutting off contact for at least a month or more can help you tremendously on keeping your emotions checked, so try your best to do that first. You’re welcome to sign up for my coaching program if you’re unsure how to go about this or you’re planning to do something but not sure if it’s a good idea or not, etc. but I would have to look a the situation as a whole in order to give solid advice. Take care!

  126. Jane
    Jane says:

    Hi Brad, I have been following your YouTube channels for 1 month now. I want to know if my situation is hopeless.

    I tried your free quiz and I scored 75/100, my issue is based on trust factor as my ex broke up with me due to lack of trust. My initial lover contacted my current ex and told him that we are still dating and chatting and one fine day I admitted to my current ex in message that I am still chatting and in contact with my first ex. To make things worse, my initial lover contacted my current ex and ask him to leave the picture and claim that we are still dating which is false.

    My current ex decide to leave the 2 years long relationship 1-2 month ago and we have been in contact ever since, as friends but he doesn’t reach out to me its always I am reaching out to him. I did all the mistakes that you mentioned in your videos, the pleading the begging, the fighting, the buying gifts but nothing seem to work. He seems perfectly fine without me.

    I want to know if my situation is hopeless before I sign up for your online coaching. I want to get back together with him and repair this relationship.

  127. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Sorry to hear.If you’ve recently reconnected, don’t expect your ex to warm up easily. Getting an ex back is a process. Are you sure you’re not trying to rush it? Setting a deadline is a good way to fail when it comes to exes, so I highly discourage it.What steps have you taken to get your ex back? It’s time to re-assess those and see what’s working versus what’s not working. Sometimes, getting an ex back is like trying to fit a square into a circle, but oftentimes, chances are you’re letting emotion dictate you and therefore end up making the wrong choices. Have you checked out my guide yet? It’s ultimately up to you to act (or not act, depending on which phase you’re in) on getting your ex back, but it helps if you read it to know that you’re on the right track. Good luck!

  128. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey, Dylan, what concerns me most, more than the breakup itself, is the fact that you had this kind of on and off dynamic with her. 50 months? That’s close to 5 years! What happened? It’s important you read this first to know what to expect and what steps to take: Things You Must Learn If You’re In an On-and-Off Relationship. For starters, cut off contact first and give her space, all right? Take a breather. That should at least give her time to calm down a bit, all right? You’re welcome to sign up for my coaching program if you’re unsure how to go about this or you’re planning to do something but not sure if it’s a good idea or not, etc. but I would have to look a the situation as a whole in order to give solid advice. Talk soon!

  129. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Sorry to hear you’re going through this, man. When did all this cheating started? Majority would decide to just move on for good and start afresh with someone else, but a few would still fight for the relationship, so this all depends which side you’re in and what your views are. There is no right or wrong answer here because it is your relationship and it’s personal to you. Make sense? Anyway men and women cheat for different reasons, but if you think your ex is worth it and if there’s been a genuine connection between you two before the cheating happened, then try to see the roles that you BOTH played that led to all this mess and see once and for all if it can be resolved or not, okay? Really take your time before deciding though and be sure not to make any hasty decisions from an emotional place. I can help you out via my email coaching program, since I need to know a bit more background and take lots of factors into consideration as well. Take care and hopefully talk to you soon!

  130. abhishek
    abhishek says:

    Since my breakup i have not cutt off contact with her completely…
    After some fighting ..there was no contact between us for some days(25 days) but then i heard from our mutual friend that she was missing me and crying for all that…..then our conversations again get started….
    But at present we both are talking almost everyday but the conversations are not anyway romantic……and i also want to cutt off the contact…..
    But how can i cut off the contact because our conversations are going normal…shoul i get completely disappeared from her life without any reason…what would she think of me………. Then after no contact what to say to her why i broke the contact what reasons should i give to her if she asks and how to again reestablishing mutual attraction with her…..please guide me sir

  131. Dylan
    Dylan says:

    Brad Ive been in a strange on/off relationship for over 50 months. Ive recently been dumped again and have lost count on how many times ive received the no contact, never going to see her again feeling. Everytime has been different and we have always learned and grown through it. Usually it is her getting hurt and ignoring me for awhile as I try to chase. It is one sided when we are together because it always seems meaningless to her. She has given my life new meaning, loved and cared for me most of the time I have known her and it is like no other woman. She just got a new job and it ruined everything, easily I could have kept things together but I played cold and lost miserably, the couple of times she was around and leaving angrily I was unable to makeup for the situation and pathetically tried calling and texting an absurd amount right away(this usually happens even though I clearly have learned my lesson not to already). She has no car/place to live and is either mooching off her girlfriend or a new boyfriend. I just got her voting mail and I saw she left her early voting letter, a bunch of her belongings are still here, shoes, jewelry, clothing etc. Even though she came by with her friend and two sheriffs to get into my house that I let her stay in and get all her things. She also left things like special tea or a bag of towels her mom gave from Turkey, an expensive hair straightener blah blah blah, There is too much in the story to cover on this paragraph. Brad please help, a lot of things went wrong since I got her back from Turkey and I have already made so much damage and mistakes throughout our history. I am determined to get her back Brad please help make this happen and actually workout in the long run for me too.

  132. Avinash Bholah
    Avinash Bholah says:

    Hi Brad Im Jay.. married for past five yrs one daughter of 4yrs, my wife left more than one month, she living with her parents now. i found some odd msg on her mobile when later found she was cheating on me..
    i gave her lods of chances to stop that nonsense but she continued to do so..
    she blame me i never had time for her no feeling left etcc..
    Wats stunning in all that is that she left her parent home to come at mine 5yrs ago stating she ll stay at my place forever..and today she mentioning she wasnt in love with me and that i forced her marry me..
    i ask her to return after one month without direct contact but did call in her daddy mobile so as to talk to my daughter..
    the latter is very sad there and want to stay with me but as per mauritian law child under 5 yr stay with mum.

    i want my child back and indirectly my wife..
    she is online almost all the day and ignoring me
    Please help and adviseme Brad ibadly need it now
    Thank you
    Jay

  133. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey man, have you cut off contact yet for at least a month? I get it that each situation is different, but MOST situations require for you to do this rule first. Try not to skip it, all right? You see, the thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so again, I can’t stress this enough: employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch. Watch this, too: How to Make Your Ex Miss You. Good luck!

  134. abhishek
    abhishek says:

    I know you are right man…….
    But at present the situatuon is that we both are in regular dialy contact with each other either on facebook and phone ……and now our conversations are going well because i watched some of your videos on how to talk with her and on some other topics also….but sometimes she behaves like a friend and sometimes like more than a friend…. i asked her to meet and she readily agrees to meet me……thats why iam not sur e about all this situation….i know if i use some tactics…she will be again my gf…
    But how to do this……please guide me

  135. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey man, sorry to hear that. Begging and pleading never works. Give her some space and use this time to try to see why you aren’t open to her being away for her studies. Are you really open to a long distance relationship? This isn’t everyone’s cup of tea because of the obvious physical distance and the challenges this type of dynamic presents, so it’s important to assess your own thoughts on this first, before you rekindle the relationship, all right? Anyway if you’re really sure you want to get her back, watch and follow the tips here: How to Get Your Ex Back in a Long Distance Relationship. Good luck!

  136. abhishek
    abhishek says:

    Hii brad .. i am abhishek and i am 18 years old and my girlfriend broke up 9 months before due……she broke up because i was not allowing her to go out of state for study although she wanted to go…i asked her that i she go out of state ..then she has to leave me….and after two days of this conversation ..we met and she said for breakup….i feel guilty of my mistake and said sorry to her and i tried my best to keep the relationship but she said NO…..
    After that ..i start convincing her to ome in relationship again..i begged and pleaded ..but she says that we will remain friends…..she used to call me almost everyday…..in these 9 months i convinced her many times but she dont agree to come…..and at the present after watching some of your videos..our conversations are going good….please answer me what to do….

  137. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey Navneet, sorry to hear that. It seems like being in a relationship isn’t a priority to her at this time. That could very well be the reason, along with the fact that she has been losing interest in you, possibly due to the distance. Watch this first to help you understand what’s been going on: The Number One Root Cause of All Breakups. Consider moving on from this but at least employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, at http://www.breakupbrad.com Good luck!

  138. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Omar. Sorry to hear about the breakup. It’s best NOT to reach out to her at this point. I know this must’ve been incredibly hard on you, but the more you care for her and focus on her, the more you’ll take that time away from you. Right now you ought to be focusing on yourself, okay? Watch this: Want Your Ex Back? Stop Thinking About Them! I suggest you stay busy by reading my Ex Factor Guide, which covers every possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Good luck!

  139. Navneet thakur
    Navneet thakur says:

    Hi brad i m navneet thakur and i m 18 years old and i and my girlfriend study in same batch both preparaing for our MBBS exam which is after 7 months…….. Few days ago she broke up with me due to reason of study… She said as our exam is approaching nd she is not able to get time to study so she is ending up relationship…….. This is only reason of breakup…… I even begged nd txt her a lot for not to breakup but she said i m now practical and these things doesn’t matter to her….. She is more conscious about her Career………… So will she be able to continue after 7 months….. Or will she come back after our exam………. Pls answer…. What should i do now….. She said that she don’t want any relationship for 7 months till exam….. Nd even promised that she will b single during this span of 7 months…. But can’t guarantee that after 7 mnths she would be able to continue or not…… So u pls guide me what should i do……. Will she come back…….. I want to get back to my ex…

  140. Omar
    Omar says:

    Hi Brad.
    Me and my girlfriend where together for one and a half years a day before she go for an exchange student she broke up with me for the reason that she think that she is holding me back and I told her that this is not true.
    She asked me if I am going to text her a safe flight the next day of the break up and I said that I can’t do that that I will wish it in my Hart…. Was that a mistake?
    Today I am worried about her but there is no way to know if she is safe should I text her so I can feel relief or to wait for something to update on Facebook?
    She I also not so in Facebook she never update it or anything….
    And I want to get back together I still love her….
    What should I do… Please help me I am a bit desperate..
    Thanks.

  141. Emily
    Emily says:

    Hi Brad, I recently just got out of a year long relationship. Well anyway about a month ago. My girlfriend reasoned it to loving me but just not being 100% into it anymore. We had planned out an entire future and we were ready for marriage and this seemed so shocking to me. Anyway, after 3 weeks of the breakup I caved to desperate and embarrassing begging for a weekend. I even begged for a chance in the future… I know embarrassing. It finally ended with me realizing how stupid I was being, but I also had a family emergency and as she was very close to my family she asked for updates on what was happening. We ended being nice to each other and I gave her all the necessary updates. Now I want to implement the no contact, but I don’t know if it’s too late. While I was begging she even told me I was pushing her further away. I never sent hateful messages though, just begged her to take me back and also to give me a chance in the future. How can I reverse this now and get her to stop seeing me as some desperate needy person? Should I apologize for the weekend or should I just stop talking to her since we ended okay after what happened with my family.

  142. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Melissa. Have you tried getting him to commit? Unless you’ve both agreed to date each other exclusively, there’s really no reason for him to be acting up the way he had when you talked to other people, especially if it was really all just an innocent conversation. Give him time to realize all this so he’ll hopefully come to his senses and snap out of it. All right? Let him miss you first. Watch and follow the tips here: How to Make Your Ex Miss You. Take care!

  143. Melissa
    Melissa says:

    Hi there Brad. I’m having a really hard time with my recent break up. I met an amazing man who has all the things I ever wanted in a man. We started seeing eachother 3 months ago and I immediately fell head over heels. We did a lot of things together and had a great connection. I messed it all up by continuing to talk to other guys on Facebook even though I didn’t want really anything to do with any of them. He said when we first met that I didn’t have to worry about him being the jealous type and it was a new relationship, which we hadn’t established that we were “official”. I did meet his family and they loved me..his friends loved me and everything was going great until he found out that I had responded to other guys on Facebook. I never met with any of them and and never sent them any sexual messages or anything. All of a sudden, he broke up with me because he says I lied and cheated. He says he can’t trust me. Is there anything I can do to show him that I truly care about him and want him back?

  144. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Sorry to hear that, Kurt. Blocking you is most likely just your ex’s way of coping. Anyway social media should be the least of your concerns. Focus on all three phases and your ex may naturally unblock you, in time, as you learn to rebuild that attraction and re-attract this ex back to your life… Learn the basics here: How to Get Your Ex Back. But whatever the case may be, act responsibly yet try not to take things too seriously now since you may be in a period of growth and lots of changes, including preferences in attitude, personality, etc. Focus on your studies instead, all right? Take care!

  145. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    This may get deleted because you’ve made two accounts under one email address…and both may have went to spam, hence I missed seeing those. Please refer to the answer I gave under the other username you’ve used. Thanks!

  146. Kurt
    Kurt says:

    Wassup Brad. me and my ex broken up yesterday, I got dumped because I was texting my other ex. When I was mad at her because she was barely paying me any attention that period of day, because she said she was going to call me back but then posts “Someone DM me” on Instagram. The only reason I talked to other ex was to tell her about the ex that I love. We’ve only been dating for like 1-3 months. She gave me her virginity and her first oral sex to me. After we broken up I called her on my cellphone she was acting really rude and kept on hanging up. She texted me she regret loosing her virginity and falling in love with a looser on Snap chat and also said it in person when we broke up. We started exchanging rude words with each other while she was trying to leave my room, but I was at my door telling her not to go. It kind of got little reckless. I held her neck softly and pushed her against the wall and her head hit the wall really hard. It was by accident I didn’t mean to do that to my queen. Her face was in shock. When she went home she blocked me on Instagram, and put “Single” as her Instagram name, now it’s “Never Again…” I called her today though earlier to take the bus with her to school. She agreed, messaged me on Snap chat. I didn’t seen it on time so she called and asked “Are you ready?” but I wasn’t ready. So she said “That sucks”. I seen her today after school, while I was sitting in the park, holding all my pain in, trying not to cry. One of her family/ friends seen me and said “You look really sad, did Leevaughia (her name) left you?” I said yeah. When he left I just started crying and put my head down so no one in my neighborhood can see. When I seen her I wanted to call her, I think she wanted me to call her name too, by the way she was walking so slow and was fixing up her shoes, and hair before walking into my sight. I blocked the ex that ruined the relationship, and the ex that I love blocked me on everything except phone calls. She says she’ll block my phone number too but she doesn’t. What should I do ? By the way I’m only sixteen, she’s fifteen and the other ex that ruined that night is seventeen.

  147. Mandy
    Mandy says:

    Hi Brad – My question keeps getting deleted for some reason. Dated a guy for two months and he broke up with me over a lack of communication on both our parts. Got back together a month later and after two more months he broke up with me again over text two weeks ago saying he was an angry person and would probably be best if left alone and he was sorry. I told him I was hurt that he was pushing me away again and I don’t understand but because I love him (first time I said it) I would do as he asked and leave him alone. Have not heard anything from him. I don’t know why he’s angry (pretty sure not at me because I didn’t do anything). I just don’t know what to do. I still have his key and I don’t know if I should mail it back saying I wish we could have worked through this or if I should just leave him be?

  148. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Javier. Sorry to hear that. Try to see what really happened and why she had been acting this way. At this point, it’s important to look at the roles that you BOTH played that led to this demise, and do this with a clear head, which cutting off contact can help you do. Okay? I doubt things will fade away just like that, so try to see if you’ve both failed to address a recurring issue. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

  149. javier
    javier says:

    hi brad my girl has slowly faded away with the way she was with me it was two years and we lived together this past year we she felt she wanted to move back to he parents house and when that happened i moved back to my moms house this was all to save for a house but it was her idea once we move she was staying with me a lot but as time went on in a few weeks she started not calling me much and not retuning my calls i was getting tired of it and i asked her whats going on she said she doesn’t know how she feels but she doesn’t want a break later on that night i insisted and too her we need a break she felt that ways so 3 days went brand i contact her to see if she was ok and she said yes and since she has been going out and really just calls me like once a week just for no reason we hung out once after 3 weeks and is was like when we last hung out kinda dead and now i want to start the full no contact but i don’t know if i should block her on my phone also

  150. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey, Peter! Sorry to hear you’re going through this. Accept you back at her house? Do you live together? That can be a pain in the behind especially if parent’s don’t approve. I’m not sure why parents had to get involved though. It’s either you’re both too young to date or it has something to do with culture. Either way, it’s best to consider moving on from this, okay? Understand that the choice is ultimately up to your ex on whether to fight for you or not despite the opposition going on. Good luck!

  151. Peter
    Peter says:

    Hi Brad I was with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years, we split up two months ago because we was arguing over stupid immature arguments, which lead to a big argument with my parents and hers, ever since we have broke up we have been in regular contact she has been hot and cold everytime we talk wanting to sort it out one day and missing me then the next day thinks we should leave it and too much has gone on. But every few days she continues to contact me saying she misses me and this is really hard. Two weeks ago we had a massive argument after she tried to talk to her mother to see if she would accept me back in her house and she kicked off telling her to go if she spoke to me again. After that I decided to not contact her and blocked her off everything, because I felt like I was going around in circles, after 1 week I messaged her saying we should meet up and talk but she said no she does not want to get upset any further and said she’ll never forget me etc etc. I accepted it and said I understand and she kicked off saying why havnt I said a nice message back to her and told me not to contact her. Since then I have continued the no contact period since then but my feelings are up and down and think she has forgot about me. What would you advise?

  152. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Sorry to hear about the breakup, Juliet. Getting an ex back is a process, so there’s no one-action solution for everything. Okay? The “no contact” phase is a good start, so do that first if you haven’t yet. If you have. then I’m glad you’ve completed it. There are two more phases to go with a few other steps in between. What I’m trying to say here is it’s a 3-step process, and it’s a bit complicated to explain it all on here, but I made an overview in the hopes of making people understand, so watch it here:
    How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup)
    or read my guide for the entire process. Good luck!

  153. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello there, sorry to hear about the breakup. Fighting can be healthy, but if it becomes too much, especially about recurring issues, can be damaging as well. Give her space and don’t contact her for at least a month, all right? Watch this, too: How to Get a Girlfriend. Be patient and follow the traits listed on the vid. Good luck!

  154. Juliet
    Juliet says:

    Hi Brad.. My boyfriend and I were together for a little over 5 years.. This is our second time breaking up..we had broken up a month before.. We had an argument and after a few days of not talking to each other..we broke up..and he told me within that time of not speaking he went to 1 of his “girl friends” and she made him happy for the moment.. And we ended up getting back together 2 days later after the breakup because we gave the relationship another chance..and within the month of being back together everything was great.. We would spend time together.. Make more efforts to see each other..and when we got intimate it was great..and then Wednesday August 10th we ended up breaking up again..and he told me he wanna be friends right now.. And I asked him if he has anybody else and he told me he’s speaking to her on a friendship level and she lives in Spanish Town, Jamaica.. Now the day after we broke up he took down all of our pictures on social media and we haven’t spoken until that Sunday..on sunday he posted a picture of another female which was the girl who he been talkin to that whole month saying, “She’s my heart and she motivates him and she will always have his back” that was very hurtful to me because it hasnt even been a week since we broke up and he did that..so I called him and cursed him out and told him he’s rushing and making a big mistake..The next day he gave me a sincere apology and he regretted putting up that post and he’s always going to love me and he said “if I’m making a mistake let me make that mistake and if what me and him have is real and true we will get back together” I accepted the apology and since then I haven’t been contacting him at all..he still watches my snapchats and stalks my Facebook page but I’m still ignoring him.. I just want to know is there anyway we can get back together or not??

  155. MABRUCK ISMAIL
    MABRUCK ISMAIL says:

    Hi Brad
    I am 25 and my ex is 24,she dumped me a month ago after seven months in a relationship because i was so jealousy and possessive to the extent that i opened a fake face book account and seduced her without her knowing that it was me who was doing it(she nearly accepted the seduction).We also used to have constant clashes and she even used to say that she was very tired of frequent conflicts and wished to end up the relationship.
    So she says i am not her type because our relationship had constant disagreements and i opened a fake account to seduce her which she says i used not to trust her.So she needs to be free and have peace of mind.
    I begged,cried and pleaded with her but nothing helped.I even sent my best friend to talk to her,what she only said is she would never trust me again and even if she agreed today to take me back she wouldn’t feel good as it was before and i would pretend that i have changed so as to continue being with her.
    But Brad I love her and i am genuinely willing to change.This is my fourth day of no contact phase.

  156. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey man, sorry to hear you’re going through all this. Losing a child can be especially traumatic. You both may be dealing with this in your own ways. So definitely give yourselves time to grieve, okay? This is entirely different emotions from the breakup. Anyway use this time to process the breakup and see why you two keep breaking up in the first place. Are you cool with her going out with her friends, or is this an issue? She may have felt smothered if you’ve been overly jealous whenever she goes clubbing. Clubbing, as long as it’s done every once in a while and not taking over your entire relationship, is generally okay. Ask her to come with her and see how she reacts. But as of now, you’re right to NOT be in the friendzone, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first, all right? Good luck!

  157. Majuran
    Majuran says:

    My ex broke up with me almost 2 weeks now, this is our second break up, the reason for the break up was because of clubbing, she likes to go out and have fun, drink and dance with her friends, i’m not that kind of outgoing person.
    So because of this she feels that she don’t want to be that responsible for life yet as we are still young, so she thought of being single as she doesn’t need to worry about anything that’s the same reason we broke up the first time and bounced back after a month and few days but while on that one month we dated different people and they were not interesting as we were, fun and crazy etc.
    But when we were back together everything was perfect excellent understanding and communication then before, after few months we decide to have a child and sadly lost it on the 6th week, she was devastated but now she changed her mind.
    We both met each other at work and still work at the same workplace, but for this few days she don’t look that happy she hardly smiles. i’m thinking whether she regrets for breaking up or not.
    She asked me to stay as friends i agreed but i wont contact her at all as i don’t want to go after her i’m having my no contact rule to see whether she does miss me or not, plus i have a gut feeling that she will come back to me again, my gut feelings always tend to come true but i’m just wondering if she will

  158. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Liz, I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation. Okay? Thanks for your understanding!

  159. Liz
    Liz says:

    Hi Brad

    First and foremost THANK YOU!! I came across your videos a couple weeks ago and have been listening/ watching religously trying to navigate my way through my breakup which happened about 3 weeks ago.

    I’m going to apologize in advance as this is going to be extremely long and very detailed, but I feel with your insight, guidance and just overall life advice I can put my foot in the right direction.

    I gotta say it’s the most bi polar process, the highs and lows are maddening. I’ve known the guy for about 5 months and we dated for 3, here’s the kicker I crapped where I eat. We worked together so now I’m kicking myself. We started off as friends and he was actually still reeling from an encounter with his ex of 3 years and she kept messing with his head, well maybe a month later he asked me out, out of the blue. I can’t deny I had feelings for him and had grown to care for him from working and spending time with him- so I went against my better judgement and gave it a try, knowing fully well he wasn’t over his ex (even though he swore up and down he was) and I was also very apprehensive because we were coworkers and literally sat side by side in cubicles…I know I know! Any how we started going out and it was great, we have the same sense of humor, love the same sports team and similar in music. The problem was he would occasionally talk about his ex, or have a hard time with painful reminders, causing me to think he was pining for her. Because of that I was relcutant to call myself his girlfriend and let my guard down, and would get defensive and sometimes lead to picking a fight about something minuscule, it didn’t happen alot but a few times, and I noticed I would do it more when he would make some connection or conversation to his ex and I became insecure because I felt like a rebound. When I’m mad at someone I do stupid cathartic things like delete their number from my phone temporarily, just to add it back later, and one time I did this and his friend took my phone and called me out and told nick (the ex) long story short Nick started to overthink and read into it and about that and what it meant, and I could tell he had trust issues. I was head over heels doing everything for this kid from buying event tickets to bringing him food at work, and one time I had a bad day at work and my dog was sick and Nick asked me to come meet his friends, his buddy was making fun of my brother and I got drunk on an empty stomach and Nick said something about my brother too and I snapped back and made a comment about how atleast he never got fired like Nick did, which I said in front of all his friends on their first time meeting me, I said it like a joke but he took it really badly and I immediately regretted it. I apologized and he gave me a second chance and from there on out I let my guard down and was doing everything I could to show I wanted to be with him. Well his ex kept trying to make contact and one night we were supposed to go to a party together and he ended up going without me because he assumed I wouldn’t go since my family was in town, which I still wanted to go. I asked him to stop by and he agreed and a couple hours go by and I called him and he said he was really drunk and couldn’t drive, I later texted him to get me a lyft and i would go, to which he never responded. So I got irritated and ended up deactivating my Facebook so I wouldn’t have to see his posts all night, and I went out and ended up taking a bunch of pictures of me posing with friends (some are guys)(Let me be clear, i didn’t do that to spite him and I wasn’t doing anthing suggestive in the pics, just pictures with friends, stupid selfies side by side arms around necks – no cheek kissing, hugging etc or suggestive crap like that) and then re activated and posted the pics in the morning. I ended up seeing nick at work when I worked a shift for him the next day and he was having a family 4th of July party he said I could stop by after work, which i turned down because I had to work early the next day. I ended up venting to a co worker about the party and word got back to Nick because his friend is our supervisor who I didn’t know he told we were dating, which I never told anyone and never dropped his name. So he texted me and was all frustrated and said we would talk and sort it out. I offered to go by after work but he said the cops came and never answered my texts the rest of the night, like the night before he said his phone died :/ well I had family over for the 4th the next day and left them and told him I’d like to talk and went to his house and even made him a plate and wore a dress to get his attention. He was cold from the moment i got there and asked what was so pressing I needed to talk, so I reiterated I wasn’t mad he didn’t come to my family party but that he waited to tell me he was too drunk after ha had said he would be there and was sad I couldn’t go to the party with him, where he said someone asked to see my picture so he went to pull up Facebook but it wasn’t there and then the next day I posted pictures flaunting my night out looked shady. And that’s when he said he wanted to go back to how things were before we started dating and stay friends. I started to cry and got up to leave and he said don’t leave before this is resolved or something like that. Either way it was him ending it so went home and cried in front of my whole family. We went back and fourth with texts where I told him to please come if he wanted resolve it to which he said maybe Later not in the mood and even that he wasn’t gonna chase me since I left. It was out of character and very cold. Anyways Nur he never came by and that night I wrote a long email stated how what he said during the break up was right (he said he thinks I care more) and I said I get defensive when I feel vulnerable/ rejected and asked him not to respond and I would figure out something with work, well he did respond and said he knows how relationships work and that this won’t esp now, he’s too sensitive or insensitive and agrees I have issues with relationships, then said he wanted to be friends and on top of it asked me for a concert ticket I bought us both. After I read that I was actually pretty angry, he comes out of nowhere acting really cold towards me and stated he couldn’t emotionally connect with me and had been trying, even though I told him multiple times we can just stay friends and he can sort out his feelings and crap wtb his ex but he reassured me I was what he wanted and he was over her…so I’ve had to work with him since then and decided to just not engage and only speak if it was about work. He had other plans and would talk casually and even got irritated when I was short with him or cut him off and he slapped a post it on my desk that read “Thanks for being so mature about this friend. Drop the attitude” To which I never responsed to, and the next day he commeneted on me dying my hair and says nice hair. It was just little crap here and there.

    During that week my grampa ended up having a stroke shifting my entire focus.
    I left work in tears and Nick saw and texted me later that night “I know I’m the last person you’d rather speak to, but if you need anything I’m here for you”

    That text just confused me and seemed like a huge mixed signal, which was how I felt every single time I worked with him, He broke up with me yet kept trying to talk.

    I responded Thank you the next day. I sat on his text and thought about it and figured maybe he was having second thoughts. So after work I pulled him aside and told him I had been focusing on myself and realized I wasnt ready to be his girlfriend because he put so much improtance on it and stated that I had embarassed him in front of his friends and he gave me 3 strikes and the last one was that I didn’t go to his family party. The strike thing I didn’t understand because he never told me I embarrassed him, or that I had done things he was keeping tally on. Legit no communication on that, So I was very caught off guard by that statement and said I think we should start over and go very slow, and not jump into something so emotionally heavy and just take the time to get to know eachother with no pressure and that I felt like I had to overcompensate in the relationship and especially in front of his friends because his ex was so toxic, but I wasn’t comfortable as he says “Representing” him and that if we took the pressure off I could just relax and be myself. That or I wanted to be his friend but would need time and would move on and date around – to which he didn’t seem to like

    He said we would talk about it later (Because he was on break and it was ending)

    He texted me and asked if I still had the tickets and we could go to the concert, which I had to clarify did he mean as friends or starting over, and then reitterated a long ass text about how that would take time but I’d like to start over and be myself since i was overcompensating- to which he said “I can see that” meaning he agreed with him putting importance on me in front of his friends made me overcompensate. No where in his texts did he state we could start over or I should move on.

    So he kept me hanging all weekend, and finally on monday he texted me “Hey how are you feeling, grampa doing ok?”

    (He moved to hospice)

    I got irritated becuase he sent me a few casual texts all weekend but never touched on our conversation. So i said he was not doing well then asked him why he was texting me, to which he said “Uhhhh because I thought we were cool, you said we were, but I won’t if you don’t want me to” to whcih I replied “I told you how I felt, that if you wanted to start over I’m up for it, otherwise I’d be your fienfd but it would take time, and if that’s what you’re on then leave me alone completely” and he instantly replied “Deal”

    and thats when I lost it.

    I said ok peace asshole

    and he goes “LMFAO, I’ve been nice to you and now I’m an asshole? You got it dude”

    I was so angry, he was sending me mixed signals and fucking with my head when he knew what was going on with my grampa.

    I responded “Nice?” and proceeded to express exactly how i felt and how pissed i was he was fucking with my head and that adult relationships take communication not keeping tally, and that he took advantage of me etc and I did everything for him. It boiled down to me telling him to go fuck himself and fuck with someone else’s head and that I was going to block him and that i was done with him and over it.

    So I blocked him and didn’t speak to him at all last week, I took off a few days because my grampa ended up passing away 🙁

    I’m not sure if anyone told him that or not about him passing away. But yesterday was the first time I saw him at work after I sent that long F you text. I didn’t make any attempt to talk to him but he caught me going up the stairs and goes “Hey” and handed me a bag with a jersey in it that I gave to him, I completely fell apart not long after that while at work and ended up leaving early and basically quit my job. ( i have another lined up)

    And that’s it, to wrap up the longest email you’ve ever read. This was yesterday, we haven’t talked. I guess what I’m struggling with is these mixed signals. Its not like he can text or facebook me since I blocked him, and I genuinley do feel bad for that F you text I sent, I meant what I said becuase it’s exactly how I felt. But I worded it harshly and did so out of anger. As messed up as this whole thing is, I still care and wonder if there’s any chance of fixing it, or if I should even apologize for the text, even though he hasn’t apologized for what he put me through. He doesn’t know just how badly I’ve been hurting from all of this. We haven’t spoken since the tex, other then his “Hey” on the stairs in passing to give me the jersey

    I’m struggling with if this is how I should leave it and walk away or if i should perhaps apologize, let him know he’s not blocked and leave the pathway for communication open.

    Whatever your insight is I respect. I’m capable of moving on and getting over it, but I’m also capable of starting over and wiping the slate clean if he wants to start over.

    But I have no idea, its been a mixed signals few weeks and all I need is clarity.

    So once again good GOD i’m so damn sorry for this huge long ass letter.

    As you can tell I struggle with anxiety at times.

    You’re a life saver and i look forward to talking to you.

  160. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Shreya. I’m sorry to hear about the breakup and I understand where you’re coming from. When a relationship ends, it’s really a challenge to find the exact reason/s why. This is why it’s so important to try to get a clear head on this and NOT let your emotions take over, okay? This may help you gain a different perspective: The Number One Root Cause of All Breakups and we also have to add in the factor of distance. It’s true that some people are just not open to it. An LDR just presents a lot of trials one or both of you may not be ready to handle, especially on his side. Consider moving on from this or at the very least, cut off communications for at least a month, okay? This means no checking his online profile, no talks, and certainly no movie dates. Let him really miss you first. Take care!

  161. Shreya
    Shreya says:

    Hii Brad…I recently gone through a breakup with my boyfriend. I know our relationship wasn’t like for years or more rather it was just of 4-5 months. It was all going good like we netheir had fights nor any argument. We always considered each other’s situation n then enacted on it..But when he said that he want to be alone n don’t want relationship it was such a shock for me. Yeah he use to say something like “R u gonna leave me ?” Or like “so I’m getting a breakup again? ” he said these things many times which made me think is like he wants me to break up with him…even he told me that he wants me to say him that I want a break up but I don’t give up so easily just for silly reasons…one more thing was he was going to shift somewhere else for higher studies and he said that he can’t be in long distance relationship. But I think we both really want it to last long. He still says” if you ever need any kind of help I will be always there.” You know for me there’s still not appropriate reason for our breakup like was it because of his fear of long distance relationship or something else. It makes me think then was it all fake or what. Recently few days back he asked me for a movie n I said him that I am totally busy even though I was not . And he’s still waiting for me to get free for sometimes n be there with him for a movie..and I’m not getting what to do… its all so confusing Please Brad help me !! Will be waiting for your reply…
    Thank you

  162. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey, Julia. Yes, you can give a quick “congratulations” but be sure to sound upbeat and avoid drama at all costs, so stay off topics that are counterproductive. Watch this latest vid I’ve posted to help guide you: What to Talk About With Your Ex (Do’s and Don’ts). It helps to end the conversation first, too, and get busy. If there are further developments, sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis, okay? Good luck!

  163. Julia
    Julia says:

    Hi Brad. Could you give me advice? Last Sunday my ex broke up with me, and I have tried to be in No Contact since then. But today he texted me about good news of himself. Should I answer him like “Congrats”? Or should I still not contact him? I’ll feel a bit sorry if I don’t answer anything though..
    Thank you.

  164. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Sorry to hear about the breakup, Allison. Yes, continue to do the 30-day “no contact” rule and don’t be friends with him. Use this time instead to clear your mind so you’ll have the clarity to see the real reasons behind this breakup. As you may already know, let him miss you first and let him feel what it’s really like NOT to have you in his life, all right? Being friends with an ex, especially right after a breakup, is a bad idea, and even more so if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively, at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”) and How to Get Out of Your Ex’s Friendzone. Good luck!

  165. Allison
    Allison says:

    Hi Brad, my boyfriend broke up with me 10 days ago, we had been together for 4 years, he didn’t give me a precise reason, he just said that he wants to be alone now, and maybe we will meet again in the future. It was a complete shock because he seemed really in love, even more than I was (another reason he broke up with me). At first I begged him for a second opportunity (I know it is a mistake after watching your videos), he’s texting me every day even if i stopped responding two days ago. He says that he wants really bad to be friends, as we were so close and i’m important to him, but i know that being friends is not right for me. Should I keep not responding? His birthday is in a week, should i text him? I’m desperate to get him back.

  166. Alice
    Alice says:

    Hi Brad, my ex boyfriend & I had broken up 4 months ago. We stayed as friends after the break-up, & texted him almost every single day as I was so afraid of losing him. Things didn’t get any better… it went down hill instead. I rejected becoming his “FWB”. We still quarreled from time to time, & he even gave me a cold shoulder. I saw him on a dating website; looking for girls, even though he said he’s not interested in relationship for the time being. Until last week, I asked him if it was possible for us to get back together & he said no. I have stopped contacting him completely ever since then, & told him that I will just move on.

    But certain part of me I still wanna see him.

  167. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Ana. Sorry to hear about the breakup. How often did you two get to spend time together whilst in a long distance relationship? It’s too soon to be trying to be talking to him, you BOTH need time to process the breakup and heal, okay? The more you talk, the more you both will bring drama and worsen the situation — and that’s the last thing you want right now… especially with all the baggage he has currently. You can’t rush this process. Watch this, first: How to Not Get Your Ex Back. Good luck!

  168. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Rashid. Sorry to hear about the breakup. I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but if you’ve known this chick for only four months give or take, then there may not be enough foundation for this to survive the long distance relationship. To top it off, she doesn’t seem to be open to the idea of a long distance relationship, which is completely understandable since this type of dynamic is not everyone’s cup of tea. Consider moving on from this or at the very least, cut off contact for at least a month, okay? Good luck!

  169. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Anna, it’s best to consider moving on from this, since it seems like he’s using you as a time-filler, for lack of better words to describe how he’s behaving. Whatever the case, be sure to leave him alone for a good while (30 days or more) okay? Given the familial tie you have it’s likely that he’s just looking for a fling and not anyone serious. Take care!

  170. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Continue working on self improvement, that’s always good. If he only contacts you occasionally and you both become intimate but without commitment, then that’s a red flag. Watch and follow the tips here: What to Do If Your Ex Wants Sex (If You Want Them Back) and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. Okay? Take care!

  171. Ana
    Ana says:

    Hi Brad,
    I’m not sure if no contact would work in my case. It’s a very long distance relationship, we’ve been together for 7 months and didn’t get a chance to meet except skyping all time possible, 5 moths were amazing, but last 2 we were barely speaking, because I got annoyed at him not keeping word like not calling when he’s been saying he would and tried to get him to call me and miss me, but I was doing a terrible job at it, being nasty and disappointed at him. So I did limited contact subconsciously in the worst possible way. I wasn’t supportive enough with his depression either. Now he says things have changed a lot for him already, he remembers only the bad things about me, cause that’s how I’ve been for months now and he said he feels better without me.
    Also I was freaking out and crying when he broke up, begging not to, he agreed for a second chance. It’s been a week now, LC and the worst time in my life so far. I feel like I’ve lost my soulmate trying to prove something stupid. I’m trying to be all upbeat when talking to him now, it’s hard, but better than not talking at all. And I’m getting mixed signals, he used to say he sees our future together, after the break up he said he used to think the same about every ex girlfriend, yet he still says he loves me, but then that he doesn’t want to be with me this way. I’m so confused.

  172. Rashid
    Rashid says:

    Hi Brad, so basically me and my ex had been kinda together since last March. Why i said “kinda” is because when i asked her out, what she responded was ” I really love you, like a lot but you’re going to move to another country and have your university there. I can’t deal with any long distance relationships anymore cause my last relationship was long distance and it didn’t really work out”. She added ” Trust me, after you finish school for 4 years then you don’t have to ask me out. I will just say yes”. Then we kept on going out together, being romantically attached, visiting each others house, and we were in the I love You term. Evermore, I told her that Im scared of losing her cause shes special to me. It kept on going the same way till last 2 week where everything turned out to be bad. Last time I met her was last week and face to face, she has been the same ever since. Then on that day, she started to drink and smoke and she started to contact one of her ex. Since then, She’s been so different, meaner and straight forward ( No Sweetstuffs ). At first, I tried to understand her but then what she wanted was to be single and she wants to juggle guys or in other words she doesn’t want to have any boundaries and commitments. I asked her ” Thats not what you said to me ” but she replied people change. Its just she’s so different from herself before. Now, that she wants to play with other guys.

    Please help me Brad cause I’m leaving soon to leave this country. I don’t know why she changed but its just so sudden and i really don’t know what to do. Shes different from anyone i have every known

  173. Anna
    Anna says:

    me and my ex is a cousin we ‘ve broken up on january 2016. After we broke up, he immediately dating with my friends during 2-3 month ago and just throw me just leaving me like im a doll that he’s already bored. After breaking up with my friend he approached me again, and tell i can’t move on from you..i love you.. but we’re not dating again we just close like dating we do daily texting and call bcs we know we can’t be together forever. At the first time when he approached me, he was very intimate like do vcall and care about me call me babe want to go with me wanna meet me bcs he missed me and sayin’ i love you bfr bed and , etc, but its just in 1 month in april to early may after that until now he no longer. now we just texting without any special and just call, dont care abt me anymore, I feel like i only used by him like when he havent find a new gf he used me but when he already find a gf he will throw me. What should I do now? i really confused and my mind still full of him can’t move on and i feel mad when he just read my text message.
    please i need an advice what should i do
    im just scared and tired being like this

  174. Lindsey Brown
    Lindsey Brown says:

    My boyfriend and broke and during my no contact he texts me about coming by to get his belongings. He doesn’t call me during the weekend only during the weekend and he have been intimate since we broke up. we have been best friend for 7 year and dated for 3 years. I didn’t realized that I am dealing with abandonment issues because of my father. I am in therapy now and working with a life coach .. WHAT should I do?

  175. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Stephan. I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation as well. Thanks for your understanding!

  176. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Marcos, part of the charm to do the “no contact” rule and why I’m repeating myself like a broken record in following this very important rule is to avoid the scenario you’ve just described between you and your ex. Silence is way better than having those lovely conversations with your ex. Sarcasm aside, you really ought to learn to give it time and space, man. I hate to say this to anyone but the situation is likely gonna get worse if you don’t cut off contact, okay? Do so for at least a month or more, especially factoring all the talk you had post breakup. Regardless of how cool you act, if you’re really forcing things to go your way, then it’s not likely gonna happen, man. Watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology tricks and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise. Good luck!

  177. Stephan
    Stephan says:

    Hi Brad, I have a story to tell about my relationship. Hope that you can tell me am I doing this right or not. I am a lesbian / tom.

    9 months ago I started to get to know a girl (straight girl) from an online website. We started to get and clicked with each other very quickly (messaged each other daily) and started to meet up after 2 weeks. Since then we have even meetups more frequently (at least twice a week) for the last 9 months.

    But things got a dramatics change after we have got our 1st serious argument 3 months ago. She started to treat me a little cold and started criticizing or blaming things on my actions and behaviors towards her making her feeling uncomfortable to be with me, but still we did go out together and still do enjoy the company. Just each time she will have things to criticize on and I just bear it with me as I really do cherish her. But things gotten bad last week where we had our biggest argument and she has been ignoring me.

    Within this 9 months, actually I have been doing my best liked when she needs company, I will apply for leave to accompany her, when she needs help to get the things she needed urgently, I will go search and get it immediately for her, when she needed a listener and brought her around when her colleague makes her sad. I really don’t know where did I go wrong for being a friend and in the end I have got that the saying from her that our mindset are not in sync and I cracked her nerves.

    Please advice what should I do.

    P.S. :
    I would give up anything just to get her back. Many of my friends would say that she is definitely a bad influence which is just being a self-centered person. To me, she is someone whom did listen to me when I am being grumpy on things happening around me and did think hard to help me find solutions (though she might sometimes putting it in a hard way).

    Throughout this 9 months, actually we have been messaging without even missing a day. Honestly, I don’t think there will be a friend who will be there whenever you wanted someone to talk to but she is there all the time to listen to me.

    Please help me. It’s gonna be our 1st anniversary of the relationship in another 3 days. I really wanna celebrate that with her.

  178. Marcos
    Marcos says:

    Hello Brad. My ex broke up with me about a month ago. We were together for a year, but on and off for the last three. Ever since the breakup, we’ve spoken maybe 8 times, half of them nonchalantly and half of them (maybe more than 4 actually) was me trying to ask for a second chance, and kind of beg for rekindling. Last time we spoke was about a week ago, when I called her to tell her I no longer have feelings for her (false). She texted me the other day telling me she feels offended by what I told her ( I told her I didn’t believe she loves me still, as she says, and that I am the most important person in her life, as she says) and that she wants me to be part of her life, although neither as a friend, nor as a couple. We spoke on the phone, and two days after that I called just to speak, the conversation escalated and we had a fight cause I was trying to make her tell me we are just friends and tried acting ”cool” by asking how her love life is. Ever since we haven’t spoken, although she did like some facebook posts from me. Her friends keep giving me hope, but I’m afraid I messed up and I lost her completely. What do you think I should do? Thanks for your time.

  179. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello there, Margarita! Sorry to hear about the breakup. I suggest you let him miss you first, all right? If he feels bad about himself about not being good enough for you, then that’s his issue… and not yours to deal with. Give him time to really think things through. The important thing is to let him feel what it’s like NOT to have you in his life, so even though it’s really tempting to contact him, cut off contact for at least a month, okay? Take care!

  180. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    This all depends on how long you’ve been broken up and other factors. What steps have you taken to get him back and are you sure you’re not trying to rush it? Be sure to follow the 30-day “no contact” rule first and then transition to the second and third phases mentioned in the guide. If you want to gauge your chances of getting him back, take the free quiz on this site and answer as honestly as possible. If you’ve been trying for a few months, however and are pretty positive that you’ve done all the right steps but still getting little to no result, then watch this: Is it Hopeless? When to Give Up Trying to Get Your Ex Back. Good luck!

  181. Margarita
    Margarita says:

    Hi Brad, my boyfriend broke up with me 5 days ago. He is working full time and studying also, he said he feels really bad because i am so good to him and a good girlfirend and he doesn’t have the time to give me that I deserve. Ive never put pressure on him that he is obligated to see me, pulled him back from whatever he wants to do with his career or anything like that, ive been supportive all through the relationship but he says that it makes him feel even worse because he feels like a bad boyfriend. I dont understand if i am so amazing and he loves me as he said when we broke up, why would he make that desicion? I initiated the no contact phase since we broke up, he has sent me one text and said he understands if I didnt respond to him. I dont know what to do, I keep asking myself why would he breakup I didnt even do anything wrong, i just loved and supported him. Please help me Brad. 🙁

  182. Lara
    Lara says:

    Hi Brad, I text back using the example in your video and resumed the ‘no contact phase’. I haven’t heard from him at all since. Is this a sign that I will never hear from him again and that I should just count my losses? Thank you

  183. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Lara, You’re right in not wanting to be friends with him. Simply tell your ex you don’t want to be “just friends” … and then return to the “no contact” rule, okay? Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively, at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”)
    and follow the tips here: Escaping Your Ex’s “Friendzone”

  184. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Natasha, sorry to hear about the breakup… but don’t do a timeout or a break or anything to prolong the inevitable. Doing so is similar to doing a bandaid as a remedy and slowly pulling it off. I suggest you give your ex the chance to miss you instead, okay? How long have you been in a relationship with him? Anyway your best bet if you want him back is to cut off contact, so be sure to give him the time and space to miss you first, all right? Space also gets you to a clearheaded level of thinking so hang in there and stay strong! Watch this: Will Your Ex Forget About You During No Contact?

  185. Lara
    Lara says:

    Hi Brad, I recently went through a breakup 10 days ago. When I feel rejected, I naturally withdraw rather than keep texting, calling etc. However, I still initiated the ‘no contact phase’ as I definitely don’t want to be just ‘friends’. My ex boyfriend has been texting repeatedly, which started off nice (“Hi, how are you?”), and then went to concerned (“Are you ok?”, “Please let me know you are ok, I’m very worried?”), then finally to anger (“Why are you ignoring me???!!!”). I don’t want to break the no contact rule, but I’m also worried that I’ve made things worse by ignoring any genuine concerns. Should I still keep blatantly ignoring him and pushing him away? Our relationship was also long distance and neither of us use social media, which makes things a little more difficult.

  186. Natasha
    Natasha says:

    Hi Brad, I’m new to your company. My boyfriend recently broke up with me because he said I neglected his feelings and wasn’t there for him when he needed me as was too self absorbed in my own hurts.

    He said he doesn’t love me or want the relationship anymore but he can be there for me as a friend. But I suggested a time out and it didn’t work. He was hot and cold during the time out and ultimately he just burst and said he wants it. It has been 2 days since the breakup but a week since everything started.

    We are talking but much lesser now.
    I feel like that if I do the 31 days no contact, he will feel like I totally do not care about his feelings or him and isn’t changing.

    I know I need to focus on myself and change to be a better person for myself. So that i can better the relationship in future.

    But how do I talk to him now or what should I do? Please help, I don’t know what to do and it hurts thinking he might be liking another girl (I mean idk but from his fb page it looks like it)

  187. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi! So he wants to have two girlfriends? This isn’t the guy for you if you’re looking for a committed relationship. The best course of action for you right now would be to leave him be and let him figure out who he really wants to be with, okay? Otherwise, you’d get sucked in to all this drama associated with love triangle. Don’t be his friend and use your time to work on your own life instead. Good luck and I hope you find the right guy for you soon!

  188. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Take his word for it because if he’s being flakey with his words, then that’s not likely gonna change. How old is this guy? He doesn’t seem to be in a place where he’s ready for a committed relationship yet, so don’t take this too seriously at all, all right? Sorry to hear you’re going through this, though…but I suggest letting him go as he’d likely be back. Don’t be too available to him when he comes back, okay? He has to earn otherwise, he’s never gonna give the respect that you deserve. Take care!

  189. katia
    katia says:

    hey
    i broke up with my boyfriend 6 months ago he left me without a reason then he came back like nothing happen he wanted to get back together but im afraid he will leave me again even i love him he call me on the phone he said that he never loved me and he has a new girlfriend but he always wants to get back together help me

  190. katy
    katy says:

    hello brad.new to your company.
    i was in a relatinoship 2 months i was so deeply in love with my ex he left me without a reason then he came back to me like nothing happen he wanted to get back togethet but im afraid he will leave me again so i said no , even i love him he texted me 5 months to get back again one day he call me on the phone he said that he has new girlfriend that he never loved me i dont understand him sometimes he said he love me then ignore me please help me im in pain

  191. John
    John says:

    Thanks a lot Brad!I hope everything goes well,for me and for all the other that want their ex back.
    If you want it badly,it can happen.Do not lose hope!Life is full of possibilities and surprises!

  192. chinney
    chinney says:

    Hi brad, my boyfriend wants a break up but i begged and pleaded. we’ve been in cool off several times but it doesn’t last for a month and still he don’t want to give it a second chance. But since that cool off, he now talk to me in a nicer way and sometimes a little bit sweet but wants us to be just friends but i don’t accept and insist a cool off. Now we are in a cool off situation again. Does the no contact rule can still be applicable?

  193. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, John. Sorry to hear about the breakup. If she hasn’t particularly warmed up to you yet, then it’s important to take a full step back and stop asking her to share photos. What’s important is you’ve already voiced out your request in asking for it, so give her time to come up with her own decision without feeling pressured from you, okay? DON’T send the memory stick as that will only make her feel trapped and left with no choice, and it’s a bad idea as this will make you seem pushy. Let her approach you first, okay? Watch this to learn some more tips: How to Get Your Ex Back in a Long Distance Relationship. Good luck!

  194. John
    John says:

    Hi Brad,new to your company.
    2 months ago,my girlfriend dumbed me.I am teared since,but have started to think positively lately,with all the info that you share with all of us.And yes,even though we were in a long distance relationship,i do want her back.
    She has a lot of photos of us together and i want to have them too.A month ago,that i asked her to send them,she denied and said that she didn’t want to,because she was feeling my pressure to have her back.I plan on sending her a memory stick to load our photos,and send her some photos of ours that i only have.My question is,when and how do you suggest i should ask her again?We are now in the 20th day of no contact,and i don’t want to make any more mistakes.
    And,is the idea of asking her our photos bad in the first place?
    Thank you in advance Brad!

  195. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    The “no contact” rule for 30 days means you don’t communicate with your ex, so a letter is a very bad idea as that would just scream desperation. Asking him to talk about it was a mistake as well. Learn to back off completely for a good while, okay? Restart the “no contact” rule for another 30 days until there’s COMPLETELY no contact (light message or not) between you two. Watch this for more tips: How to Not Get Your Ex Back (The Most Common Mistakes). Take care!

  196. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    An argument that has been stretched out for three months, with neither of you doing anything about it, isn’t a healthy relationship at all. It shows through BOTH your actions the level of commitment you had for this relationship, which is zero. Anyway what was the argument about? I hate to be the bearer of bad news but consider moving on from this, all right? A relationship with that kind of dynamic won’t survive the long haul, coupled with the fact that a long distance relationship is already challenging to begin with. Watch this to know what to expect: How to Get Your Ex Back in a Long Distance Relationship. Take care and I hope you find the right guy for you soon!

  197. Paige
    Paige says:

    Hi Brad, I am unsure what to do.
    My situation: my boyfriend went away for a university presentation trip for a week (most of his friends were also on the trip). He came back and the first thing he did was end things with me, saying he felt hallow. I was broken, and did not see this coming. I occasionally would get upset and felt excluded from his life, but he did not indicate things bothering him, rather that he didn’t want to make me feel that way. We have both now graduated from university, and I understand this is a huge mile stone that could have set this off.
    I waited a week and called him to have a conversation, after it I made the mistake of saying I miss him and wanted to talk about it. He said he wasn’t ready and didn’t want to do it yet. Which I respect. After a few days I did one of your text tips (without knowing it),and I sent him a light, positive thoughtful message with no intention of a reply.
    I have written a letter explaining and trying to understand etc. and I want to give it to him… I would prefer in person but should I mail it to him?
    It has now been two weeks… the longest two weeks since the “breakup”. Do I wait another two weeks before trying any form of communication again?

  198. kelly
    kelly says:

    Hi brad, i have a big agrument with my ex in Jan. We were together for 6 months.We are long distance relationship.We have no contact with each other for 3 months, after 3 months he texted me’ we should break up’ in Apirl. After, we took a conversation on phone. He think that we can not go back the past, and our love is dead because we did not have contact for 3 months.I think he is moving on and would not look back anymore. The most improtant thing is he knows that i still love him even i did not beg him to stay during the phone call.

  199. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Francisco, sorry to hear about the breakup. Three times? How exactly did that happen? Was there cheating/lying involved? If so, then that’s handled a bit differently compared to where those things aren’t involved. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

  200. francisco
    francisco says:

    Hello Brad, it has been almost a year since my ex and I broke up . I did some things after the break up that pushed her away and then I did some more stuff that should of sealed the deal but wierdly enough it brought her closer for a while sort of like on again off again. long story short after the break up i broke her heart 3 times and broke the trust but even after all that she came back wants to be fwb asked me to move back in but is now cold and distant. I need your help. How do I apply the no contact rule if we still share the same bed?

  201. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Emily, no it won’t affect the “no contact” rule but making these mistakes may have had put a dent in your chances…it may not be all doom and gloom, though, but try to be mindful next time and NOT make any of these mistakes anymore, all right? Try to stick to the “no contact” rule this time, man. A situation with an ex is fragile, so you’d really want to omit, if not minimize these mistakes, okay? There are no unlimited chances with an ex, so if you can do it right moving forward, then do so. Take care!

  202. Emily
    Emily says:

    Hey Brad, It has not been long since my ex Boyfriend has broken up with me, It has been about 2-4 weeks since we broke up and he dumped me during the Easter holidays and later on we have been in a few arguments recently but we still message eachother but then a few weeks later and when we went back to school I started begging and pleading and now I have just started the no contact rule and I am on my 2nd/30 day and I accidentily got my friend to ask my ex of he wanted to go back out with me or not and he said “No” and now I know that begging and pleading will push my ex only further away will it effect the no, Contact rule? Thanks Brad, Emily,

  203. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey there! Sorry to hear that. You’re right, cutting off contact in your situation is an exemption. Now granted how there has been cheating involved, actually puts a twist to your situation as you can imagine. The consequences cannot be ignored, however, this isn’t to say that all hope is lost. Your wife likely just needs time and space to deal and process all this, okay? Just give her your most sincere apology and STOP pushing the subject. Let her feel like you understand and take responsibility for your own actions and continue to NOT deal with this other woman anymore, all right? This takes time and depending on your wife’s personality, could take months for her to forgive or more — that’s just the reality of life. To ease up your situation and know that you’re on the right track in your marriage, you may sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help you see and address the deeper issues in your marriage… as well as how to avoid cheating in the future. Talk soon!

  204. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Jason, sorry to hear that. I suggest to really STOP with the chasing, though. The more you chase, the more she runs away. This is why I always suggest to leave her be for at least a month, okay? This is what the “no contact” rule is about since you need to give each other time and space. You may not be able to fully do this rule because of your son, but at the very least, try to avoid any unnecessary chitchat, all right? Use this time to work on yourself and focus your attention somewhere else other than your wife right now. Watch this, first: How to Save Your Marriage & Stop Divorce. Good luck!

  205. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi there, Margot. I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation. Thanks for your understanding!

  206. stuckey
    stuckey says:

    Hi Brad,
    I am in situation where wife found out I cheated. I left other person and want wife back but we have 2 kids and still live together. Wife wants to divorce but will stay to try for kids for a little a while.
    How would “no contact” work when you have to live with your spouse with kids? it is unavoidable to talk to her and being emotionally distant will likely make things worst. thanks for reply in advance.

  207. Jason
    Jason says:

    Hey Brad, had an 8.5 year relationship and 4 year old son, we both have never had a huge connection, she went through 2 years of back surgerys from car accident, 1.7years ago i fought and beat bowel cancer then went into depression, we had a huge fight 5th december 2015, from there she strung me along saying shes finding her feeling and so on, i chased her, spoke with her family and friends…. Stupidly. Then she wanted to discuss money from speration and she got lawyers involved.. I would never discuss money. Last 5 weeks theres been no talk of money and lawyers but i still chased till last week, her hate and anger are gone but she goes out her way to tell my friends how happy she is now..
    Whats your thoughts?

  208. Margot
    Margot says:

    Hello,
    my boyfriend and I were together for 2 years and lived together. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago and although in the beginning I begged for another opportunity, I decided to apply the “No contact” for almost 2 weeks now. But times have been confusing to me… We had an amazing relationship, at least I thought so. We were very open with each other and shared the same dreams and goals together. Until three weeks ago he came to me and said he didn’t love me anymore and felt this way for a few months already. I mean, his actions, his eyes, his words never reflected this, but maybe I was completely blind with love. Looking back. we were feeling pressured with the amount of work and responsibilities, I was starting to feel insecure about myself and he was very anxious because of financial problems and about his future since he is moving abroad next year for a master degree, but we discussed that situation many times and he assured me that we were going to fight for us because we had something very special between us and he couldn’t picture his life with anyone else. I was living my dream. Anyway, a few days before he broke up with me he went to a competition in a different city, when he came back he said he had changed along with his dreams, I couldn’t understand what he meant until last week I found he started dating another girl he met during those 2 days… He said she wasn’t the reason we broke up, he just wanted to be alone and not have the pressure of any serious relationship now, his friends told me it wasn’t anything serious, but honestly I don’t know, I mean it was strong enough to end our relationship. I knew pretty well this guy and never thought he would do anything like this… He has been a wall to me, very distant and cold. We meet each other occasionally because we are at the same university. I really want to fight for him, but I seriously don’t know if it is worth it or if I stand a chance. I still have strong feelings towards this man and I respect him tremendously although his actions in the last few days. I know an incredible person behind those actions, but he said that person is dead… I have been trying not to judge him, not to hear anything everyone has to say about him, it’s pretty hurtful. I felt (feel) he was the one. I have been working really hard on my insecurities, have already lost the weight I gained, started meditation, yoga, eating well, volunteering. I have done this for me, for a new and healthier me, but I feel he doesn’t even care, just keeps ignoring me. I know now that he wasn’t entirely honest about his true feelings, but it is so confusing to trust this new person that speaks to me as if he was speaking to a wall without any emotion on his eyes, voice… The same person that used to say he respected me above all things in the universe, wrote the most beautiful poems to me, held me with all his strength. I still love him, all his faults and qualities, or at least the memory I have of him. I don’t know if this new girl is serious to him, or if she’s only filling an empty space in his life. He asked me to stay friends but I don’t know if he was serious about that as well.. I just wanted him to see this new and healthier me. I miss his love and friendship, I never met anyone like him. Also don’t know how or when I should contact him, I am willing to give him and myself the space and time we need, but I still have dreams, just don’t know if I should hold on to them…

  209. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Danny, I hate to be the bearer of bad news here but you’ve somehow been demoted from girlfriend to “friend” here and that’s a red flag which can’t be ignored. I suggest you cut off contact COMPLETELY, okay? Responding in a “dry” manner won’t help and will only cause resentment to build up further, if not totally wreak more havoc, as your case here. Use this time wisely instead and work on yourself, let him miss you. Okay? Watch this: How to Make Your Ex Miss You. Also read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. Take care!

  210. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey, Adam. I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program. Thanks for your understanding!

  211. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Get help with what and change what, exactly? If you think you need to work on yourself because you exhibit traits that are “undateable” for lack of better term, then it may be time to re-prioritize stuff in your life. What I mean by this is a relationship may not be what you need right now, man. So in essence, focus on the most important person in your life right now: you. Cut off contact until you’ve sort out whatever issues you’ve been referring to because these take time, so focus on yourself. Okay? Take care and Good luck!

  212. Danny
    Danny says:

    Hello Brad,

    My Boyfriend and I were together for 6 months crazy, madly in love with each other. Unfourtunatly for the past month he’s been having issues with depression. Two weeks ago he said: “I need as my friend right now becuase I’m scared you are going to get hurt” I asked: “Do you need me to step aside from your life right now?” He said : “No! I need you but as my friend.” “I said okay if that’s what you need “.
    All this conversation ocured on a Tuesday night, by Thursday he texted “Hey How’re you doing?” I was very dry with my response since I was atemmpting to do the 30 day No contact rule. That following Saturday he texted the same again:”Hey How’re you doing?” this time I waited three hours to give him a response, during those three hours I got texts from him like: ?? (at least three times) and then he texted as he wasnt hearing back from me (I would never keep him waiting that long when we were together): Are you okay? I gave a dry response due to how sensitive and vulnerable he’s been with depression lately. Exactley a week after the “break up” I was upset with the situation in general (anger , depression as expected in a Breakup). I made the mistake by calling him out via text message about something he did two weeks before the breakup. He lashed out saying : “Don’t ever acusse me of lying again! and for that matter Never contact me again! Have a nice Life” Unfriended me from Facebook (but didn’t block me) . He had never lashed out on me that way before and he completly misunderstood my text. To be honest in our 6 month relationship it was our very first “Big Fight”. Anyways I started the 30 day no contact count all over again. So far in the ten days of “no contact” I have not heard from him. Maybe he’s expecting me to call and beg for forgivness which I will not do! I know that everything he said was the depression talking and he didn’t mean it. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves me and cares about me, actions speak louder than words.
    My question is : Since he is mad at me and I still have 20 days left of “no contact” If I don’t hear from him in those 20 days left, What would be the best way to aproach him? Text? Phone call?

  213. Adam
    Adam says:

    Dear Brad,

    I’m at a loss and dont no if it’s to late!!!

    I took your quiz which I scored 64% and needed to move quick.

    In 2013 I met the girl of my dreams, the one. We met at work and both had partners with kids but we were besotted with each other, we both fell for each other big style. Everyday even apart in our other life we could talk for hours and talk about all our plans and dreams.
    Our situations away from each other continued even though both of us did not go near are partners we were so in love.
    I know this sounds like a common affair, but this was more so much more then this. That’s why I’m here now trying to fight for it.
    Trying to shortening the story down. Last year mid June July when I thought we were still going strong she said she no longer wanted to sex at her house which was our only place to be together and share those moments together. As hard as it was I understood because I didn’t want her to have anymore hassles at home. We still met up took walks in the park still to show that affection. In all of this I had moved out and lived with my mum for a year waiting for the right time.

    That was the problem it wasn’t easy and never seemed the right time. She would say that’s do this lets just run but me with my practical head on kept saying you need to leave your partner first?
    As a result of this something I’ve heard since things have gone wrong isweshouldhave taken a chance? But I don’t believe that chance was there at the time.
    Of course then we stopped seeing each other but we would talk on the phone and the phonecalls would just lead me to ask her was I a mistake ? She would reply no!
    Did everything we said and done together mean nothing to you? She would reply never said that leaving me confused. Was there more to this? I started believing possibly was there someone else at work trying there luck making me increasingly paranoid and insecure causing more arguments .
    I’m desperate about this girl but have a gut feeling there could be someone or perhaps I’m just over analysing as mentioned in your video.
    I know she’s not the type deep down but I feel I may have over stepped the mark?

    I came across your youtube videos and since the 5th of April our last telephone call which ended in an argument I’ve tried to adopt the no contact rule but I don’t no if I need to something.

    Can you help please i m desperate I don’t want to lose this girl I know she’s the one. I just need to remember how good we were together

  214. Messed up
    Messed up says:

    Hi brad, me and my girlfriend of 2 and a half years broke up today. She says that ive been emotionally abusing her that she doesnt love me anymore. Ive pleaded and told her that ill get help and change but she just keeps saying that she knows. Im not sure what to do so I want to try the no contact rule. At the same time im not sure. We used to text all the time so I feel like me suddenly leaving would provoke some feeling of lose with her but im not sure. I would fix my problems during this period, I would just like any advice you have to offer.

  215. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Sorry to hear about the breakup. You’re right,this is one of the cases where the “no contact” rule is actually an exception…but DON’T initiate contact in any way, okay? I’ve discussed it in these videos, as well as how to handle it: When Is It Bad To Ignore Your Ex? Exceptions To The ‘No Contact’ Rule and How To Act Around Your Ex (6 Tips For Handling Post-Breakup Encounters) but read my Mend the Marriage so you’ll have an in-depth view on how to go about it, including how to handle the kids (if any), what to do if your spouse acts all crazy and/or hot and cold. Take care!

  216. Brokenharted
    Brokenharted says:

    Dear Brad,

    My husband is about to leave me after more than 15 years of relationship for an exgirlfriend. He has not told it to me yet, just that he ‘needs some time’. I do not think that the no contact strategy would work in my case, as we are still living together, and both pretending that we have a normal life. But I know that he already plans living with the other woman (after a month), and rejects my attempts coldly to rebuild our relationship. I seems just a matter of very short time, that he would leave. I am frozen, and cannot be easy, funny and attractive to show him what he would lose.

    Could you please advice what to do?

  217. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello there, Presly. Him coming back with a proposal for marriage after a breakup was rather alarming and the fact that you accepted is neither right nor wrong, it’s your feelings after all. I suggest you use this time (and space) to see what’s causing this on-again, off-again dynamic in your relationship since that can be taxing as well. As a general advice, though, if you’ve just re-established contact, it’s best NOT to talk about marriage yet. Don’t rush it. Good luck!

  218. Presly
    Presly says:

    hi brad , i love ur exfactor program . thank u for guiding us . me and my boyfriend is in distant relationship .recently v had breakup and i maintained no contact he came back within 2 months. now the issue is ,I accepted as soon as he said he want me as his wife . is this correct ? he is not spending time with me . we were in an on/off relationship. please suggest me how to reattract him ? how to make him to talk about marriage. he says dont talk abt past. He also says whatever we are gonna fight and separate . when ask him abt this he says if we are not fighting means we can join in life tats wat d meaning . im afraid guide me

  219. Ricky The Man
    Ricky The Man says:

    Does No Contact start when they message you? I was begging her to try things again and I asked her out to talk as we were going to but I canceled. She said she was busy and never got back to me again. Then just monday she said hey its been awhile how are you?

    I didnt want to reply so does that mean NC started Monday?

    Thanks Brad your videos are the best!

  220. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey Sunil, sorry to hear about the breakup. I suggest not to overanalyze things, though. Racking your brains on what her actions meant will only give you a headache, and there’s no real way to verify the information you had in your mind anyway, without appearing like a creepy stalker or downright desperate. Sorry, I know it sounds harsh but I feel it’s what you needed to hear. Cut off contact for at least a month instead and try not to look at her profile. Focus on yourself instead. All right? After the “no contact” period, there is a way to rebuild the mutual attraction. Unfortunately I can’t explain it all on here since it’s all 130+ pages. Check out my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and contains what you ought to be doing at certain points, what to say, as well as the timing, etc. This video is for your reference: How to Not Win Your Ex Back.

  221. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Jonita, sorry to hear about the breakup. As you’ve witnessed firsthand, constantly pestering your ex never leads to anything good. This is why it’s so important — and I couldn’t emphasize this enough — to cut off contact right away for at least a month, all right? You ought to let the situation simmer down first and let him miss you in the process. The space and time apart will also help you both to start thinking clearly so you don’t overreact or end up adding fuel to the fire. This video is for you as you need to be aware of these: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back and How to Make Your Ex miss You. Good luck!

  222. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey man, sorry to hear about the breakup. First things first, know that it’s never entirely your fault, so don’t be so hard on yourself, okay? A breakup is almost always caused by BOTH people in it. If you broke up with her by mistake, though, then you definitely need to work on your temper, man. She may have lost interest because you’ve let your anger take over, and that’s never cool. Try to work on that, okay? Giving each other space can certainly help since it will help you pinpoint stuff as to where things started going wrong. Read this, too: What to Do With If You Broke Up With Your Ex… & Totally Regret It. Good luck!

  223. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey there, sorry to hear about the breakup. Cut off contact for around a month and use the time and space to re-evaluate your relationship from an objective perspective, so try not to let feelings get in the way. Being apart and not contacting each other will also help you avoid being disillusioned and really get you BOTH to start thinking clearly. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s always possible — a lot of people I coach has done it. It’s too soon to draw a conclusion now but if you need my help in assessing your relationship, you can always sign up for my coaching program, that way, I can take a look at all the factors at play here and guide you and monitor your situation on a regular basis. Talk soon!

  224. sunil
    sunil says:

    hi Brad my ex and i broke up over 2 months ago and we were in serious relationship for 2 and half yrs. After breakup there was no meetings or personal contact though we used to keep in touch through emails and messages but that was once in while and conversations were not so great, very formal types like hi how u doing types. Reading ur article helped me gain my composure otherwise i was almost on the verge of losing my sanity. Now i implemented no contact period of 30 days and it so happened that on 6th day of my no contact period my ex called me and after repeated calls she messaged me. i msged her back saying am kind of busy right now i will get back to u once am free. Now it so happened that after few days she put a pic of herself where she has taken a ‘selfie’ with some guy and made that pic her whatsapp profile pic. Now what am suppose to make of it ? did she deliberately put that pic cause she wants to invoke jealousy in me and react in a certain way ? Brad help me out a little here cause if she is trying to make me jealous i will b happy cause it will mean she still has feelings for me right ? because there is no close proximity between them in that pic..their heads are touching, but on 2nd thoughts it might be that she is trying to indicate something..like she has moved on. how do i deal with this situation Brad should i also put a pic of myself where am with my beautiful female friend? but then that would seem like “tit for tat” situation….no matter how positive minded i stay insecurity creeps into me in such situations cause its happening with me for the first time and i dont know who that guy is .I haven’t asked her about it and even if i go to ask i know she wont tell me or reply to my msg cause me asking her about who that guy is would mean putting the ball in her court and giving her the advantage over me..HELP me BRAD !

  225. Jonita
    Jonita says:

    Hey Brad,
    I had been with my boyfriend for nearly a year when he broke up with over an argument. I said things that were out of line and regretted my actions straight after, since then he has been ignoring me. So I went to his house a week later to see if I could apologise but when he saw me he was extremely angry told me he didn’t love me no more & I should move on as he don’t go back.
    I made the mistake with bombarding with messages after as I had never seen him that angry, i repeatly apologise but he told me to leave him alone as he thought I was fake. After that failed I tried to get my stuff from his house by messaging him but he was being difficult then he blocked me on WhatsApp to only unblock me the next day and keep changing his dp and statuses. I decided to implement the nc rule for a month, then I contacted him again on the 31st day. I thanked him for the time apart and said we need to talk but he replied saying there ain’t nothing to talk about and how I should do me and let him do him. From that I could tell he was still angry with me so I asked for my stuff at his house but he ignored me, then blocked me from WhatsApp to only unblock me again the next day. I don’t know what game he is playing or what to think anymore as I still don’t have my stuff still, although he has unblocked me and keeps changing his dp. I have decided to not message him again. I do still love him hence why I have been patience but don’t want to keep looking like I am desperate. Please I would really appreciate your advice.

  226. Anonymous love
    Anonymous love says:

    Hi Brad my ex girlfriend decided she wanted to take a break . I was really hurt because she seemed to change and I feel it’s my fault. One night we fought over my phone. I lost my temper and broke up with her. But I didn’t mean to break up with her. We was still living together. I tried to make things right. She started to not care about our relationship. She wanted to take a break. We stopped talking for 3-4 days. I felt so stupid for losing her. 3-4 days without talking I was figureing out all the bad things I done. Not giving her my full attention, not showing her my love and affection. My feelings changed I feel like I care about her so much and it hurts to lose her. We been together for 2 years. We started talking again I bought her a rose and wrote a letter to her showing everything I love about her. We tried to start over but maybe it was to soon. Her feelings towards me is like is she’s numb. We broke up again 2 days ago. She’s been going through a lot feeling overwhelm and stress with 2 jobs, family, being a mother, moving, finding a new car and a way to get to work, and dealing with our relationship like she has no time for us. She said “I love and care about you too I know that I want to be close with you still but for some reason my feelings aren’t the same.” I was really hurt. I agreed I told her we should take a break. I want to give her space. My feelings for her is like I love her even more than ever and I was trying to be a better person supporting her, showing my love and affection towards her and giving her more of my time. But now that we’re broken up again and I’m trying this no contact thing again but it’s hard. She says she needs time to find her self again. Is wrong for trying to help her through these difficult times she’s going through? Her Birthday is coming up. Can I still text her Happy Birthday? Would it be wrong to give her a gift? How can I get our love back to how we used to be. Why did our love fade?Will things ever get better between us? How did she lose interest in me. Am I boring to her now?

  227. anonymous E
    anonymous E says:

    Hey Brad I’m wondering if you can help me. My ex girlfriend wanted to take a break she says she loves me and cares for me and still want to be close to me but for some reason her feelings aren’t the same she says. I know that she has been feeling overwhelmed and stressed these past couple months with stuff like family, moving, school, being a mom, being in debt, not having a car to go to work and our relationship. I agreed with her on taking a break. Though I want to be there for her in these tough times. I showed her a lot of support through these difficult times. Now I’m trying to have no contact with her and give her space. We was supposed to move together to a new place but now she wants to live separate. I don’t understand why she won’t let me help her. Her birthday is coming up would it be bad to text her Happy Birthday. Is wrong to get her a gift? I’m just wondering why she won’t let me help her. Why does it seem she stop caring about us? she don’t have the same feelings for me as before. We been together for 2 years. Will things get better between us?

  228. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    He may be ignoring you due to the drama. I’m not sure how it all played out, but it’s possible he may have felt attacked when you acted out. Give it some time and space first for you both to calm down, all right? You mentioned this was a long distance relationship. How long have you been able to spend time together within the 6-month period? That plays a role, too. Watch this: How to Get Your Long Distance Ex Back Good luck!

  229. Sherley
    Sherley says:

    Hey Brad
    Me and my ex broke up last month. When things got heated I always went emotional but we always worked it out. We were in a distance relationship for 6 months. We were arguing about something but I let it go and we didn’t communicate for 3 days then I found out he was in my city without telling me. He did that once and lied to me about. So I was mad and angry that he didn’t tell me so I asked him if he still wanted the relationship to continued or not bt he didn’t say anything I begged him to give me a No or a Yes answer and I told him it didn’t matter what the answer might be. I just wanted an answer. He ignored me completely I sent him bunch of desperate and crazy text messages. I said a lot of bad things to him and called him names. He still didn’t give me answer. Since he didn’t give me answer I moved on with my life I stopped sending him messages and it’s been over a month with no contact. I’m just confused on why he couldn’t give me a clear answer instead of ignoring me. Like what kind of man who does that?

  230. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Sorry to hear that and I hope for your full recovery soon. I understand that you’re in pain and in shock of all this happening since you’ve supported him when he was at a low point in his life. however, it’s best to try to be less dependent on him since it’s very likely making him feel pressured, all right? Overall I suggest to NOT be too dependent on him, in general, don’t depend or rely on a relationship to make you happy; you’re giving away too much of your power and it’s no surprise you feel powerless now. This can be turned around to your favour, though, if you learn to stay calm and NOT do any of the mistakes I wrote here. Pay attention to the stuff I talked about here as well: 5 Mistakes that Could Ruin Your Chances… so make sure to cut off contact for at least a month first, okay? Take care!

  231. zainab
    zainab says:

    hi..i am really in need of ur advice
    i was in a 5 year relationship wid my bf.evrythng was just ok..frm the last 5 months i was like in a state of depression..due to my constant health prblms,i was not well..and most importantly my studies..i had not qualified various medical exams after hard efforts..day by day i was getting more and more irritating..but each and everything i used to explain him..in my mind there was just negativity..and i was just dependent on him..evn if one day,he cud not contact me..it was like hell fr me..i used to get desperate..i thought he wil undrstand me..make things better..nd will try to do smthng fr me..but no..ome day..he said i cant make u understand more..jst leav me..ot was like a shock fr me..i cried,tried evrythng..to make him undrstnd..that it was all bcz of my cnditn..i had nt done on my own..plz dnt do dus..i need u..but..he left..today is 38th day..he evn did nt askd me hw i am..evn nt a single text..i use to msg him almost everyday..he has blockd ol my num..he was not ths..few years back he was in d same cnditn but i handled him wid care and love..today whn i am evn in a more wosre state he left..i knw…i was smewht irritatng..very pathetic these days..but ol i want was his attention,care..but evryday i felt like no one is wid me..now i cnt focus on anythng..i lovd him a lott..i dnt knw wgat to do..
    plzzzzzzz help me

  232. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    A breakup and most problems are usually contributed by both people in the relationship; it’s rarely (almost never) just one person’s fault, so there’s really no point in either or both of you pointing fingers, all right? 🙂 It will only create more drama and is damaging your relationship more. Since things have been negative for quite a long time now, I really suggest that you both ought to cut off communication first, okay? Allow at least some of the negativity to dissipate so you’ll both get a clearer perspective. Give each other space for at least a month since this will both give you chance to interact in a more rational manner and not let emotions take over. This is important, otherwise, another fight might ensue and you’d both end up feeling like things aren’t getting anywhere. Use the time (and space) apart to really evaluate your relationship from an objective perspective and see the real issues. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation and figure out what’s really going on and how you can best proceed forward with your life –with or without him.Good luck!

  233. Milania
    Milania says:

    Hi Brad,

    My ex and I broke things off in August, we have been together almost a year and he had pushed me to say somethings that I did not really mean although it was facts because of the way he had been treating me. We have been through a lot in a short amount of time, and I have apologized several times about what i said but it seems like the truth hurt and now it’s stuck in his head and thats all he ever brings up. I have seen him once since the break up back in september and he made it seem like we were going to work on things but then completely disappeared for a week. Now he plays hot & cold and i have not seen him since our last encounter in September. When i did see him he seemed so genuine and acted like he really loved me. We still talk on occasion over phone/text but it’s usually me that initiates any contact. He tells me he loves me and misses me and when i ask why we cant be together he says he is confused.. bla bla the last conversation i had with him i asked if there is ever a chance of us working things out and he said yes but we need to figure things out, so i let him know that i dont want to be stuck in a recycled phase and that he needs to either meet up with me to talk or to let me go. He has not replied and it will be a week on Wednesday since i have told him that. My whole thing is why do his words not match his actions. He does not want to see me to talk, wont give me closure, but yet will randomly text me i love you, i miss you, we used to have so much fun until you put me down bla bla.. mind you he is not innocent AT ALL, and alot of our issues came from his end not mine. He also has a good way of making it seem like its my fault and playing blame game on me like i did something wrong when i feel like i am the best he has ever had, or will get, and no girl would be patient the way i have for his bullshit. So what do you think i should do? I love him and we had a lot of good times together but i feel like i am on this emotional roller coaster ride, and i cant understand why he wont tell me to move on but at the same time will still play in like he cares? I am so confused, and I dont understand why these games need to be played when I can be such a rational person, if he would just take the time to meet up and talk.?

  234. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Selena, sorry to hear that. I always say that in general, though not in all cases, a break should always be treated as a breakup, though, as it entails more or less the same thing as a breakup. Anyway an ex showing mixed signals (i.e: acting like he wants to be with you, only to get turned down eventually) is very common. Watch the Youtube video I made about this topic: Why Your Ex Gives You the Hot & Cold Treatment (Mixed Messages Explained) I suggest to give each other enough space of AT LEAST a month, okay? Let him miss you and don’t be too available to him, especially during the first month without contact, since that phase ought to be a time dedicated to yourself. Good luck!

  235. Selena
    Selena says:

    Hi Brad,
    Me and my bf went on a “break” about a month and a half ago. We spoke after 3 weeks and he seemed like he really missed me. He still told me he loved me and missed me. The spark was still there. I made the mistake of sleeping with him before he made a commitment to me. He told me he wanted to be with me but wanted to take things slow … and even said he couldn’t be 100% committed. To me, that means we’re not together. It hurt me. I blocked him on my messenger and gave him all the space he could get. He called last week and I didn’t pick up. He really hurt me, making me open up to him when I didn’t want to talk about things and then later pulling back after I opened up and admitted I still loved him and wanted to be with him. I haven’t heard from him since last week… I’m still angry with him for walking away from me and then acting like he wanted to be with him only to say that he still needed his “space.” That’s why I didn’t pick up his call. But he hasn’t contacted me since… do you think he still wants me back?

  236. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi there….I may not know the entire story but going by what you’ve told me, it appears to me that there are clearly underlying issues you both may be too close to see. Start with why you keep breaking it off with him. An on-again, off-again relationship does eventually take its toll, unfortunately. What were the issues in your relationship and how have you both dealt with it? Try to view the situation objectively and see the roles that you both played that led to the final breakup. This may help you decide: Is Your Ex the Right Person For You? (5 Ways to Know for Sure) or sign up for my coaching program so I can help you asses the situation and guide you on a regular basis, including what to do, what to say, etc. and offer advice that is tailored to your situation, okay? Good luck!

  237. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Thank you for the kind words, man! Sorry to hear about the breakup, but also understand that if there’s one person who can help you most, it is yourself. One reason why you don’t think this (no contact) is working is you may not have grasped the idea of why it’s important. I suggest to forgive yourself for acting the way you did and learn from that mistake, okay? That might have really freaked her out, and this is where “cutting off contact” may have helped, instead of obsessing over her and making the situation worse (even though that’s not your intention). At this point, try to focus solely on yourself and not what she’s doing or who she’s with, okay? Not helping yourself NOT be obsessed with her is like shooting yourself in the foot, so realize that and try to do the right things, okay? You’re more in control than you think, so cut off contact for at least a month first. Don’t give all your power away. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but you ought to get yourself together first before you can be in a position to get her back, all right? My Ex Factor Guide can help you out with that so yes, check it out as that’s more in-depth. Watch this, too: Does Ignoring Your Ex Actually Work? Take care!

  238. midi85
    midi85 says:

    I initiated the break up, I have a tendency to break up several times and get back together. he had warned me next time he will break up for good. It happened. But in less then 24 hours he seemed that was what he was looking for all this time. He immediately started texting girls. He even told me he was ok with us being friends with benefits and I could do whatever in the meantime. he keeps telling me that he doesn’t know what the future holds for us but for now he knows he doesn’t want to be together. I did beg for two days and even agreed to be friends with benefits but then I realized he was taking advatange of my being vulnerable and in pain and I told him that. That he was taking advtange of me to feed his ego and to not contact me again. He then called me to tell me he had cancel some flight tickets, I told him “thanks is that all?” then when he started asking why I have ignored the few text messages he sent me and why I had changed, I hung up on him. He sent me a text saying why I was being so rude and he didn’t appreciate that. I didn’t respond. I don’t know if I should be nice and tell him I feel that he took advantage or just leave it as that?

  239. Sotis
    Sotis says:

    Hello Brad, your work here is great and it really touches my heart,really kudos for doing this mate.
    Sooo here’s my story… i’ve been with this girl for 2~3 years, the thing is, she is young, i was with her since 17 years old ( now she is 20 ) i am 25, we broke up again in the past and got together once again.
    For some reason i think this is the dead end for us, i did some mistakes you mentioned, like calling her the first few days, i even broke her house door where we were hanging out because i thought she was with another dude, but i was wrong,she was with 3 dudes and 3 other girls sitting drinking etc.
    She said she wont ever want to see me again in an aggressive way.
    I repeatadly asked her that if she doesn’t love me anymore to tell it straight, she never said i dont love you and she refused to say it because she still loves me, its been 2 weeks since the incident with the door, we had no contact, she absolutelly doesn’t know what i am doing right now, if i am sitting home crying or going out clubbing etc.
    What i can do more? go out clubbing check in my social media status? get pictures with other females pretending i am fine?
    It breaks my heart not being able to see her, even talk to her, i am dreaming about her every night, this is not getting anywhere.
    The no contact thingy doesn’t seem to work for me 🙁
    She even blocked me on facebook the past week, but from some friends i can see on her profile that she has all of our pictures still, she hasn’t deleted even a single one.
    In the future i am so going to buy your guide, though i dont own a visa card i have to make a paypal account directly from my bank account, your book seems helpful for a lifetime. Great work!

  240. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    A “break” ought to always be treated as a breakup. If he has acted this way before though, then I’d take that as a red flag. An on-again, off-again relationship can really take its toll eventually, and can often signify that there are issues you both may be too close to see. Anyway I suggest that you back off completely and focus on your own life instead. The time apart should help you think about what’s really happening and possibly, what the real issues are in your relationship. Try to view this from an objective perspective instead of getting overly emotional, okay?I think it’s a bit challenging, but can be done with practice. It’s also a mistake to ask him to get back together, it doesn’t work that way and is almost a guarantee to get turned down. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about this and get a better shot in getting him back. Good luck!

  241. Anonomyoua
    Anonomyoua says:

    My ex broke up with me in aug and said that we were on a break until further notice. I went crazy calling him texting him sending e-mails nothing worked he just ignored me. Finally we met lasf friday he was happu to see me kept complementing me etc. He said that we can be friends. However I played reverse psychology and asked if we could go on a date one day he said sure. Im lost he said that he will see me in a couple of weeks. We been together since we were teenagers were in our e0s now. Seems like he happier and nicer ahenI dont contact him as much. So I dont know anymore. He seems depressed he said hes always tired he doesnt go out as much. We been through this before and always end uo back together. Whats your input.?

  242. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey man, I hate to say this, but this girl may not be as into you as you’d like to think. The last thing you should be doing is to chase or plead for her to come back, so don’t do that. Also consider moving on from this for good, all right? Your goals are clearly not aligned. Good luck,man!

  243. Austin clarke
    Austin clarke says:

    Hey Brad, me and my girlfriend were together for just over a month, everything was going so well but at the last few days before we broke up she’s started communicating with me less and less, she was telling me she was busy but I’m not sure, maybe she really was or maybe she was slowly getting bored of me. We did kiss and make out but nothing more than that. The day she dumped me was over text and she says she thinks she wasn’t making me happy and we didn’t see eachother enough due to school and she says it’s all her fault. Also she says she was stressed lately. I’ve pleaded for her to stay together but she says to give up and I am currently on day 3 of the no contact period. I was wondering what you think about this situation please.

  244. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey Maria, sorry to hear about your ex. To be honest, I don’t think he’s fit to be in a relationship yet…If he has tried to harm himself, it’s best to refer him to a medical professional since he may be suffering from depression, especially with everything going on. All right? You can support him if he needs it but understand that you can only do so much, he has to be willing to carry his own load as well. He may realize this if you give him time and space to figure this out. Okay? Good luck!

  245. Maria
    Maria says:

    I tried buying your thing but obviously New Zealand doesn’t allow overseas transactions on my credit card. We had a mess of fight last Saturday which involved him doing things to him self and I had to call an ambulance. Then he decided all of a sudden he didn’t love me any more. Then he lost his job and has moved out after I requested him to. We have been together for 20 months and I am expecting his baby, we’re five months ago. I have obviously been texting him and calling him a lot and doing those things I’m not supposed to do. I’m trying really hard not to contact him and I’m scared that he will move to his home city which is nine hours drive from here. He says he is no longer in love with me and he doesn’t want to relationship right now and he says he needs time to clear his head and obviously I’m quite emotional. He tells me all the things that I didn’t do and I guess I was just distracted with work and what was going on with me. I’m really confused as to what I should do. Its so hard not to text or contact the guy that you are madly in love with. There are no tips online as to what to do in this situation. I’m scared he will move on and find someone else & forget about us. Can you help?

  246. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Catherine, you really ought to be giving each other space first. Talking your way back into the relationship simply won’t work because emotions aren’t made of logic. All right? You may have made him feel “trapped” by forcing your way into his life when he’s already displayed a lot of red flags.Weigh the pros and cons of this relationship first and weight the good vs. the bad. I suggest to definitely take a step back (cut off contact for at least a month) and let all the negativity settle, okay? Spend your time wisely and focus on your own actions during this time. Learn the basics here: How to Get Your Ex Back (Step-by-Step Guide to Reversing a Breakup) and I suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide so you get the complete details and will be guided on how to go about it. Take care!

  247. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Terrence. Well you know what they say about how you never know what you got until it’s gone? Don’t be so hard on yourself though, as this is very common among many people. A situation often involves close scrutiny so you get to know what’s really wrong, but if you’re sure it has all to do with you not spending time or showing her enough affection, then you can do the opposite and actually make a sincere effort to show her — but only if you’re absolutely sure. If there are other issues (as most likely the case) then your showing her appreciation isn’t likely gonna change anything. If that’s the case, then this is the time I suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about it, all right? Your best bet is still to cut off contact, just to be on the safe side. Good luck!

  248. Catherine
    Catherine says:

    Hi Brad, My boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago after 10 monts being together. One month ago he said that he had to think about our relationship because I had failed him with my attitude and things that I said (all of them as a joke). And also that the negative things of me outweigh the positive ones.
    While this month we’ve trying to work it out the relationship, but I didn’t see anything on their part to solve this situacion. Moreover, during this month we’ve lived 600 km away because he returned to his house and don’t know what or where is he gonna do in the near future, as he is depending on finding a fellowship or something to do a doctorate.
    I’ve also been in his city two weeks ago but it didn’t go that well, for example he made me hide in the bathtub because his mother was at home and didn’t want to introduce me.
    After all of that, 3 days ago he said me that the better is to break up, because he has to look for himself. Also he said that he can’t stand anymore my personality because I’m the most introverted person he has ever met, and that I don’t take care of my health because I don’t practice any sport (although I’ve started to do it in this month, without his knowledge).
    After the broke up 3 days ago, I send him a huge message to explain myself and telling him all the things that I felt and all the thing that I’ve tried to do to work out the relationship; I didn’t have any response of him. After that I haven’t spoken with him for 3 days. Please help me.! I dont know what to do!

  249. terrence
    terrence says:

    Hey brad man how’s it goin i wanna try an be brief an quick bout my situation I’ve been checking out some of your videos an i have to say im impressed so impressed that i need your help i never did anything like this before i always never have any problems with women until now to the point im actually lost and confused for the first time of my life basically my situation has to do with me not given my ex girl enough attention crazy right but the last few months i been dealing with some personal issues and though its no excuse i shouldve been given my lady all the love in the world but i wasn’t we just broke up last night of September 13th 2015 i know tht u stated the no contact rule but you also stated that process far as reaching out is imperative to as well so which approach should i choose and lastly but not least which would you suggest im open for either i can’t do both but which would you recommend personal coaching from you or purchasing your book please help i really miss her we only been dating for 2 and a half months and basically broke up on my part of lack of communication not texting her enough an calling her she unfriend me on Facebook got me on a block list so not sure if texting her would even work at this point im so distraught i know it has to be something i can do to win her back please help
    sincerely terrence,

  250. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    I’m very sorry to hear that, Em. One thing that stood out to me though is the post natal depression you’ve mentioned towards the end, especially seeing how this has caught you to act differently. I assume you weren’t cold or emotionally unavailable to him before, yes? If so, then how are you handling it now? I suggest to have that focused first and work on it. Look after yourself and strive to take care of your own well being first and foremost, all right? Your husband may just need some time off for himself and process his feelings. He’s dealing with this is his own way. I suggest that you definitely sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can look at all the other factors at play and get a much clearer picture of what’s going on. Take care and talk soon!

  251. Em
    Em says:

    Hi Brad, my husband left 4 weeks ago and I’m not sure if ur program will work for me. I want to start the no contact period but we have been together 11 yrs have 2 kids and share everything down to our bank accounts. I really want him back but he says the hurt he would feel coming back will be worse than what he had felt since leaving. When he left he was so visibly distraught he couldnt look me in the eye and he has been really emotional. But now he seems ok. I did do all the wrong things already too. Your quiz says its fading fast and i am feeling really desperate. I dont want to sell our house but cant afford it on my own and worry if it gets sold he will never come back. We r in the process of getting separate accounts. He also came over yesterday and i had made myself unavailable and dressed up a little. He mentioned how nice i looked. Is this a positive thing? Does this mean he still has feelings for me? He says he doesnt love me anymore. Then after talking about finances i got emotional again. I’m worried no contact will drive him away further as he was hurt from our relationship because i became emotionally unavailable due to post natal depression. He might just think its typical of me. Please help me.! I dont know what to do!

  252. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Rebecca, confusing or mixed signals from an ex is to be expected when a breakup is still fresh, particularly the first 30 days, so your ex’s behvaiour doesn’t surprise me. Your case is also one of the reasons why I’ve been stressing out the importance of cutting off communication for a good while or at least 30 days. Watch this: How to Make Your Ex Miss You I suggest you stay strong and not get in the rollercoaster ride of emotions, okay? Shift the focus away from him and back to you instead. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about getting him back once the “no contact” period is over. Take care!

  253. Rebecca
    Rebecca says:

    Hello Brad! My boyfriend broke up with me almost 5 weeks ago, after 3,5 years of relationship. Before the breakup there were several months in wich he doubted about our relationship, but every time we talked about it, or if he intended to end it, he would come back on his decision. He couldn’t end it several times, becaues he was afraid of missing me after the breakup and didnt know what to do. He is often thick-headed as well. He said that he thought that I would have a new relationship much sooner than himself. When he ended our relationship he said, that maybe in the future we would be together again, but that he would’nt want to think about it at that particular moment. He also texted me a week after the brake-up with some information about the relation status of a friend of his…….. after that i haven’t had any contact with him for a few weeks. I congratulated him trough a text message with his grandmothers 80ths birhtday and also with his birthday a few weeks ago by text. I even sended him a card for his birthady. But he answered only really short on it, with thank you for the birthday card. After that there was no contact till a week ago, when he had to dj at a party of my parents’s friends. He waved at me when i entered the party and texted me if the music was alright. Eventually i talked with him for a couple of hours and it felt really good and I even felt a spark between us. He even touched me a few times in my belly, like he used to do when we were still together. When I wanted to go sit somewhere else on the party or go to the toilet he was asking frequently if it wanted to come back to the dj boot after that. I was really confused from the signals that he was sending to me and it was also really painfull to see him again for the first time since the break-up. Now yesterday, I went to my ex’s house to bring a book back that i had stil borrowed from them. I had some coffee and talked with his parents and him for a couple of hours. It all felt so normal and good. But when I left again and my ex walked me to the door, he was really cold and distant. I asked if he wanted to see/talk to me again next week, he first said to me that he dont have any time to see me and that he didn’t see the neccesity of it . Furhtermore, he said to me that if i texted him, he was probably able to see me. At the moment I really think that he knows that I will come back to him, if he asks me to. That bothers me. Nonetheless, At this point I really want my ex back. I wish that i knew what was te best step to do next, without screwing it up. Can you please help me with this! (P.S: Sorry if my English isn’t perfect, I’m from the Netherlands).

    Please help me!

  254. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello there, Nae. Sorry to hear about the breakup. Right now, there’s too much negativity in the air and that’s never good. This is why you ought to allow time to do its job and let him miss you, while you regain yourself and recuperate, okay? There’s bound to be mixed emotions in a breakup, especially during the first 30 days, but begging is a big no-no. Pay attention to all the other mistakes here while you work on yourself and allow space for you both to heal, first: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back as well as my other videos. But You ought to read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after this phase, what to say, etc. during these tough times, all right? Take care!

  255. Nae
    Nae says:

    Hi Brad, I currently broke up my boyfriend about 4 days ago, First we tried to fix things up, he back at me but then I realized that he just did it out of pity. after that day I decide to end all.. But the thing is I can’t do it anymore, I want him back, I beg him and text him always. I occasionally sending msg asking him to back to me.. then I tried to call him but as I’m trying to contact him, the operator (The number you have dialed is unattended or out of coverage area, please try your call later). We’ve been together for 3 years and 8 months, when I ask him why He break up with me.. He told me that I’ve change a lot, that I’m not the person He used to know. Sometimes I hurt him with my words. But during the break-up He always telling me that He will back when the wounds of his heart heal, when he forgive me. Should I wait forever, and believe to his words or I have to move on.. Should I stop texting him and calling him since his not interested? It’s so hurt and I don’t know wahat to do..Pls help me..

  256. LoveMatters
    LoveMatters says:

    Hey Brad!
    Me and my boyfriend broke up more than a week ago.
    He has some of my things that he has to return to me. He suggested that he could bring them. Would it be a good idea to meet him in person? Maybe it is better not to meet him and ask him to give my things through someone else? Or, if we meet, what would be the best way to act?

    Thank you very much!

  257. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    How exactly have you hurt her, man? I think the main problem here is you hadn’t give her the space she needs to even miss you, as well as think clearly. There’s a reason why I always suggest to cut off contact. Read my Ex Factor Guide to get the full details on why it’s important and what you can do to possible get her back. For now, get a hold of yourself(I know this isn’t easy) and not contact her, okay? Take care!

  258. Raj
    Raj says:

    Hey brad , it’s so kind to see people like you thank you for being here. Let me go to the point it’s been two months since my break up , I was been too controlling being needy and of course jealousy. But we had a awesome realitionship for two years she is such a great girl ever I have seen. Past two months after one week of break up she called me we spoke random stuff it went good like tat she tried contacting me weekly often she was been hot and cold mostly hot she yells me whenever she gets a chance but now she started hating me and telling me too leave her alone. I did begged and plead her couldn’t control myself. She was like still angry with her break up she keep saying why it happened in first place. I seriously dono what to do please help me. I feel like killing myself for hurting her !! Please help me !!

  259. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    I’m sorry you’re going through this. Long distance relationships are never easy. The kiss you shared may have signified a promise, so try to evaluate whether you really want to give up or not — with a clear head, so cut off contact for around a month, okay? It could be that you’re both too emotional to be doing anything right now, least of all restart your relationship, so give it time and take it slow, okay? Whatever you do, be sure not to push it. Okay? Be strong and take care!

  260. WastedLove
    WastedLove says:

    Hey Brad. Very complicated situation here. My bf and I dated for almost 10 years and he broke up with me 3 weeks ago. That came off as I huge shock because he’s always been crazy in love for me and used to say his dream was to marry me etc. We were in a LDR for 2 years now (I’m living abroad half of the year) and things were fine until he got a job in another city 6 months ago: it became a double LDR. His behavior started to change about 3 months ago as he became more independent (he’s always been very dependent on me) and distant, as if he’d finally learned to be happy without me. He claims the reason for our break-up were: huge fights, long-distance, not ready to marry and he’s not that crazy about me anymore.

    We finally saw each other in person this weekend to talk about it and it was a huge mess. Lots of crying and we ended up kissing. He says he’s very confused, that he needs space, that he’s afraid of getting back and start fighting again, that he doesn’t want to get back unless he’s 100% sure etc.

    I decided to give him his space and stopped contacting him for now. He’s coming to our hometown in about 3 weeks and IMO that would be a good time to meet him. When do you think I should contact him?

    thank you so much

  261. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    He needs some time to process his emotions first, Allyson. Give him time. But be sure to let him know that you’re really sorry and then leave it at that, okay? Don’t go bugging him or saying sorry a million times, as what commonly happens in this type of scenario. This video can help: How to Get Your Ex Back After Cheating (And Get Them to Forgive You). Also try to end it with the other guy in clear terms. Tell him you’re working on your relationship with your boyfriend and that you’re gonna block him (when needed) since it makes your boyfriend upset. Be firm in saying this and make sure never to talk to the other guy again. T

  262. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    This could be a case of misunderstanding, and “no contact” may not be applicable. On the flip side, giving a bit of space can let you see things clearly and if you really hadn’t shown him enough affection. I’m not saying this is the case with you, but sometimes, the reason given you you during a breakup, is not the same reason for why the breakup happened in the first place. So as a general advice, give yourself some time, all right? Good luck!

  263. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello, Carl. Sorry to hear about the breakup. I think everything was still all right up until the point where you started a conflict with her regarding her posts. I’ve mentioned in my Ex Factor Guide or even in my videos, I think, about the importance of keeping things fun and light with an ex since that kind of situation is fragile. Give each other time and space and let her get over the negativity, not necessarily the relationship, okay? Don’t bug her for now and the next time she communicates with you, remember to keep things light. Read my guide so you’ll know how to go about this and not ruin your chances. No heavy drama or blaming or any of that stuff. There is a time to bring up these issues out in the open, but not now or anytime soon. Good luck!

  264. Allyson
    Allyson says:

    Hi brad. I currently broke up with my boyfriend about 3 days ago. We broke up because I failed to tell him about a guy I hooked up with when me and my boyfriend were on a break. I told him that I never did anything with that guy and lied about it. I do not talk the guy anymore. I had another incident that the guy called me randomly when I was with my boyfriend and my boyfriend got upset. He says that he doesn’t trust me and trust is everything to him. I love him and he loves me. I don’t know what to do. I feel like he wants me back but the thing that is stopping him is that trust issue. Should I wait to talk to him? Give him time ? I need your help please help!!! I want him back

  265. jenna
    jenna says:

    Hello Brad

    Would the 30days NC rule still will work if you dated only for 3 months and he said i never show him enough affection ?
    (isn`t that too much time in this case)

  266. Carl
    Carl says:

    Hi Brad, just found your article a few days ago. I broke up with my gf for almost 3 months. our relationship were last for 7 months. The 1st month after breakup, i tried to contact her few times but she give a cold response, then i stop contacting her. then along of May, i saw her post about something strange about relationship (i keep ignoring it). Then at May 28th, she contacting me just for saying happy birthday to my mom (our relationship is agreed from our both parents). Then i think it’s okay to keep contact with her. But then comes the conflicts 3 weeks ago where i discuss about her posts on social media, we argued and i think it’s misunderstanding between us then i apologized to her the next day and stop contacting her. But a few days later, i saw she post “suppose we’ve never met.” on her status and she hate herself for loving me. Then today, my friend (her friend too), told me that she already pissed off with me because our conflict 3 weeks ago and tell me to move on because she had no feelings anymore via my friend. Any advice please? Cause i still want to back together with her even she seems already commit for no getting back anymore. (i saw her deleting every of her photos on instagram that include me on it and and deleted some of our comments at some of her old posts when we still together).

  267. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Giving each other space should have been done from the get-go. I hope I’m wrong, but it seems like you may have pushed him to the arms of someone else. Your best option right now is to cut off contact and yes, wait at least a month before talking to him. This one month period doesn’t just consist of waiting around and doing nothing. You also have to do some work on your part, like focus on yourself, go hang out with friends, basically trying to keep your life in shape without your ex in it. Okay? Read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about this, step by step. Take care!

  268. Sarah
    Sarah says:

    Hi Brad, my bf broke up with me a week ago. We had been on a break prior to for about 2 weeks. Which I did not give him the space he had asked for. We had been together for 3.5 months & moved extremely fast in the relationship to the point where he was living with me for 4 days a week. We spent too much time together during the last 2 months when I became unemployed. Stress (his job, financial) got to us & we started fighting about stupid stuff. Mostly he was getting snippy about little things. We were beyond perfect for each other so similar hopefully not too. In our final conversation he said he had met someone else. I asked if he would give me a 2nd chance & he said he was with her. He does not want me to contact him because he said it’s too painful for him & “I just need to let him go”. I sent him a few messages after that & have been cold turkey for several days now. I’m concerned he will fall in love with his new gf & will be gone forever. Should I wait a month before contacting him? Thank you so much

  269. Josh
    Josh says:

    hey brad my girlfriend broke up with me 5 days ago and i want her back really badly it is my fault in the first place i lost my temper and jealous and i said something that hurts her feelings i wish there’s something you could suggest me to do. our relationship became 2 years last april and i dont want to lets all our happy memories just disappear like a bubble brad i ned you advise

  270. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Breaking his trust while you both were still trying to establish a strong foundation in four months, had been a bad move. Don’t be so hard on yourself though. Just take it as a lesson learned and try not to repeat the same mistakes. 🙂 Have you sincerely apologized yet? One or two apologies is enough and it beats begging, pleading, etc. After the apology, you should allow him enough time and space to process his own feelings and get his anger out. If you think he’s worth it, you would have to be patient. Understand that it may take months before he forgives you, if he’ll forgive you.So give it time, okay? Good luck!

  271. Maia
    Maia says:

    Hey Brad, my ex-boyfriend broke up with me 21 days ago, and I did everything you have told us not to do, or I mean i begged him to stay, said that i would always love him, that he is the one and tryed to convice him that he could come back to me, i used one hour on the phone trying to get him back the day after and tryed to message him a long text about how much I cared for him and everything. But that didn’t work, but the problem is that he told me he still loved me, but he couldn’t be with me. Because on a party I was on a party and were drunk then a girl just grabbed my arm at the dancefloor and stock her tounge in my mouth and i run out. And this shit i told my boyfriend and then he got really mad and because of that he broke up with me because he thinks that’s cheating. We talk a little now and then but he also takes contact with me and he have told me that he want us to keep up the contact, and everything but i don’t know what to do, could i just start to ignore him? when he talks to me? We one’s had a strong realtionship, and it last for 4 months. And Iknow he truly loved me and I him, we had it magical and iknow he’s the one…Tell me what to to please. It’s so complicated… And later on the phone he said to me that it was more than one reason to break up with me it was because “I can’t control myself when I’m drunk”, I didn’t always go out with him when he’s snowmobiling with he’s friends, that i was more attached to him than he was of me, that he could go to a school hours away from here, that he had lost contact with some of his friends after we started our realtionship and it was because of he couldn’t say no too be with me, because of when he did that he got ashamed, and that I are a little to jealous of me, but he said that he was that also. And when he heard about what happend on the party he got heartbroken….I’m not really good in english as you could read but please try to understand a little at least and try to help me…

  272. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    If that’s the case, then you ought to really take some time to heal yourself. Make sure that the decisions you make are from a clear state of mind and not one made out of impulse, and this can be done or the chances of it are higher if you cut off contact. Try to analyze why you really broke up with him in the first place as well, I assume it’s for a good reason? Do not ignore that or downplay any problems you have with him or in the relationship, so again, you need time to think this over and to think clearly, evaluate your relationship first; so cut off communication and take the time to heal, including processing whatever feelings left and the residual feelings from the past. This is for your own good. Talk to you soon!

  273. fran
    fran says:

    i emphasized on sex cause thats the only thing he wants from. we not friends and we dont speak daily basis. he prefers to be alone with no females. the thing i dont understand is if he said no females then why did he put sex on the table? is that a way of possibly getting back? i broke up with him cause my boyfriend before him passed away 10/18/14 and he knew this and my feelings for ex i broke up with surfaced deeply and didnt want him to think he was a rebound relationship which he wasnt. we have alot in common and have known each other for 25 years. we once dated when i was 15 and he was 19. my intentions of getting back with him because im in love with him and we both stated we were meant for each other. i recently started thursday 4/14/15 the no contact rule. i cant afford the coaching til next month. im really at a loss. is it wise to do the no contact? he stated to me when we were together his true feelings for me which was good. i just dont know what to do. should i still try to contact him after the no contact rule or should i wait a week or two or just let go and move on?

  274. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Fran, before attempting to get him back, I suggest for you to examine your reasons for why you broke up with him. What is your intention this time… and is it built on realistic expectations or not? This video is for you: If Your Ex the Right Person for You? 5 Ways to Know for Sure I’m also not sure why sex is being emphasized. Have you broke up because he keeps pushing for sex while you’re not ready yet? I really don’t want to make any wild guesses, so sign up for my coaching program so I can view your situation more clearly, see the factors at play, and advise you accordingly on a regular basis. Take care!

  275. fran
    fran says:

    hello brad, my ex and i been broken up since april 6,, 2015. i unfriended him on facebook and he blocked me. he text me on 4/715 to say he understood. i text him back and sent letters explainging why i broke up with him. on 4/29/15 he told me to please stop. few weeks later he told me we will not happen and that missed out on what we could have had when i contacted his son cause he never responded to me and i know him and his son talked which i apologized to his son for contacting him and told him i apologized to his son. he will only offer sex that’s it. we started talking on 12/19/2014. when we was together we never slept together only cuddled and kissed. do we have a chance of getting back? what should i do?

  276. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Sorry to hear that. It does look like he has stuff to work on himself though, and no amount of being in a relationship is going to resolve that. Give him space. If he really loves you, he’ll come back once he has his stuff straightened out. I don’t suggest you wait, though. Use this time to move on and work on yourself as well. Okay? As to him trying to contact, Get my Ex Factor Guide and/or watch my videos for some tips, especially this: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts and Phone Calls.

  277. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Trying to talk to him while you’re both still in emotional turmoil is not a good idea. Expect nothing but more chaos to come out of it. This is one of the many reasons why I suggest to follow the hard yet effective route which is to go “no contact” for around a month or so. It’s barely been two weeks, so try to stay cal (easier said than done I know), Read my guide so you’ll know how to go about this and understand why it’s needed. Use this time to work on yourself and try to stop nagging, since that can really take its toll. Find better means to communicate when the time comes? For now, follow this: How to Stop Yourself from Contacting Your Ex. Good luck!

  278. Leah
    Leah says:

    Hey Brad, well long story short me and my ex dated for 6 months. He mainly broke up with me because he said his situation in work, home, and life isnt well. Saying he wants the best for me but can’t do so since he has no job, still lives with his folks, and isn’t where he wants to be in life. I’m doing no contact since then but he messages me many times Throughout the day. Asking how I am, and that he’s working hard to hopefully have a better future. Hoping that I’ll be there with him as a friend. “Or more”. What do I do? Do I still do no contact even with all his meassages?
    Thanks, Leah

  279. Ashley
    Ashley says:

    I dated my boyfriend for two and a half years. We had really great times where we were the best of friends and then there were times where we were always arguing because I would pick fights over the dumbest things. He kept telling me I needed to stop nagging him and I didn’t. The last straw came when he put his dirty feet on me and I asked him to stop and he did. Then he did it again and I without thinking spit on his foot. He flipped out and told me to get out. I left but the following day I want over and tried to talk to him. He said it wasn’t just the spitting but everything and that was the final straw. He said I should have trusted him and that this is forever and he never wants to see me again. He changed all his social medias to single and posted statuses about how he deserves better. It’s been 11 days. I have not contacted him at all. But he hadn’t contacted me. It’s getting harder for me. He keeps adding girls on Facebook and I fear that there is nothing I can do to fix what I did. I just want another chance to show him I can change and won’t nag him but I fear he is too far gone. I need help. I would do anything in this world to get him back. Please help me. I don’t want to loose him forever. I want to start over and build a healthy relationship with him.

  280. Amy
    Amy says:

    Thanks for your replying. And I will check out the program you suggested.
    Well, he has some of my stuffs, and he never said he wanna return, so I asked him first. And I said it’s better for us to send each others items, but he said he wanna deliver to my place. And we breakup on Monday, but on Sat nite he said he missed me, he wanna know where I was, he said he always wanted to a family with me etc but I didn’t react on those words, just talked about my stuffs. This Monday he said he wanna deliver my stuffs, he didn’t want to rely on parcel. And he said he never hate me, he was in love with me, and still think/know he’s in love with me etc. I felt like he’s lied, or he play me. Because, after 4days we breakup he post himself on date website.
    I don’t know why he’s saying those words when he’s looking to meet someone right away.
    (he’s 27, well, I found out that whenever we had cold-period he sent some random email to ad which posted on date website, he gave them his skype id :(( )
    Really confusing.

  281. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Ryan, caring for someone and being attraction to someone are two separate things. Although you want her to care for you, her feeling that (emotional) attraction to you is what you’re really aiming for… and that’s what you need to rebuild; this takes time. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about this and/or sign up for my coaching program if you want a step-by-step coaching on how you should go about things, especially if your situation’s too unique. All right? All the best!

  282. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Amy, I’m sorry, but the situation you’ve described here is not enough for me to make anything concrete of. What exactly were you two fighting about? If you’re fighting too much, then it’s necessary to step back a little. Also try to find out the root cause since it may signal an incompatibility. Sign up for my coaching program instead so I can look into your situation more clearly and figure out what’s going on, and guide you on a regular basis, okay? For now, as a general advice, I urge you to cut off contact since that almost always helps you both clear your head, and I think that’s exactly what you both need to do right now — before anything else. Good luck!

  283. Ryan
    Ryan says:

    I have been doing the no contact thing for a couple days, but I worry that I’m just running out of time to win her back. Please help me

  284. Ryan
    Ryan says:

    Hey brad, my girlfriend and I broke up about a week ago, because she said that she wanted to take a break until her soccer season was over so that she could pit more time into our relationship. She says she still cares about me, but I’m not so sure anymore. She hasn’t reached out to me, and I’m worried she doesn’t want me anymore. What do I do??? We had been dating for about 3 months btw.

  285. Amy
    Amy says:

    Hi, Brad,
    Here’s our story and my questions.
    We’ve been 9months, and fought quiet a lot, and every time I tried to have conversation with him, and we agree, but back to fight and so on and on.
    We decided to move to another country together 2 months ago, but whenever we had issue he firstly said I won’t go there together because I am not happy today, and I don’t want to take risk that I will have the same day like today in another country. But ‘stupidly’ whenever he said like that, I calmed him down, and mad conversation and we back.
    A week ago, same thing happened. We argued via messages, and he again, very simply said ‘I won’t go there together’. I thought he was using it as an weapon as hurt my feeling or I thought I might learn that if he said so he could be in control. So this time I simply replied ‘it’s fine’. Then I called him and talked about my feeling, thoughts so far, he said we should sleep, and I said ‘take care’, and he said ‘good night, sweet dreams’.
    Since then I didn’t contact him again as I used to – I made initial contact and he replied later etc-. He messaged me on lunch hour and asked if I was ok, and he’s worried about me. I didn’t replied. Next day, he again messaged me, he hates how we ended on, and he’s worried about me, but I ignored again. On the third day he messaged me and said please say something, talk to him, he’s worried about me and hate how we ended.
    Well, when he said we should sleep on the last call, I felt like if he felt like it’s our last call, he wouldn’t ended like this, he at least said good bye or something, he believed ‘I will available to talk tomorrow again’, so I won’t be there for him. This is what I thought at the moment.
    Anyways, after three days in a row messages, he didn’t do it anymore. Oh, well he even called me ‘sweetie’ in one of messages.
    My question is, in this case, NC would work? And when can I upload my current photos or status on SNS?
    You said we should make bf or gf curious about our current situation. So when is the right time to start use SNS?
    Thanks !

  286. Annah
    Annah says:

    Hi Brad. My boyfriend and I broke up because I cheated on him. He wanted to end all ties but I begged and cried that he should not, a few weeks later we talked about it and he said he forgave me but that he met someone and therefore wanted an open relationship. I told him to leave the girl but it made him angry and I then agreed to the open relationship. When we talk, he is indifferent towards me and only texts when he feels like it and sometimes does not even reply. I was quiet for two days and he texted and sent me a song, but after that he was indifferent again in the texts. I really love him and we were together for a year and a half. Also, we are in a long distance relationship, 2 hours away from each other but the other girl is there with him and they live at the same residence. I want to know if there is still a chance to win him back because he posts negative comments on Facebook and how the other girl appreciates what I took for granted. When we were together we were really happy..

  287. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Amalina, you ought to read my Ex Factor Guide and/or watch my Youtube videos so you’ll know how to go about this, okay? The text messages you sent him were not really something that provokes an emotional response from him, and that may be one of the reasons why you haven’t gotten a reply. Watch my other videos — or read my guide since that’s much more in-depth — especially this: How to Talk to Your Ex Again

  288. amalina
    amalina says:

    Hi BRAD. My ex and I broke up nearly a month ago. I sent him a text message asking him how’s he doing and how was his holiday but he didn’t reply. Btw, I texted him on 21st day of NCP. What should I do next? Should I wait for another month and try to reach him back? Should I just wait for him to reach me out first? What if he has already moved on or having a new girlfriend? I want him back. We are in a long distance relationship. I’m in Japan and he’s in UK. We have been sserious in our relationship for 5 years and planned to get married

  289. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Yvette, I suggest you sign up for my coaching program so I can look at all the other factors at play and guide you accordingly because right now, it looks like you (both) may have become too impulsive to get back together that there wasn’t really any time to process what the real issues were. The same issues that made you broke up needed to be addressed first if you’re looking to resolve it and have a better shot at trying again. All right? Giving each other more space may do you good so you can try to clear your minds first. Take care!

  290. Yvette
    Yvette says:

    Hello, okay. My ex and I have been together for about 5 years. In 2013 he prosposed to me around summer time. Last year he broke up With me. The break up wasn’t good. He texted me as a break up. My parents got involved and they were very angry. We didn’t speak for about a month. Then he would send confusing messages. Eventually we gave it a second chance and we were together again for about 5 months. He started to become distant and I noticed it. Because he was ignoring me. When I called him, he kept crying saying he didn’t known didn’t want to hurt me a second time but I told him if he didn’t feel the same then to end the relationshiP. I think we mutually agreed. The following week he has been contacted me only through text. Usually it’s something simple like a good morning and hope your have a good day. It’s been about a week after the second break up. I honestly don’t know what to do. I would like to get back with him bUT is a third time really worth it?

  291. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    You could still miss or love someone without having to be in a relationship with them. In short, the arguments or the negativity have clearly overridden the positive feelings, hence, the breakup. This is why you ought to give it more time and space to each other before attempting to talk again. Have you thought about the roles that you and your ex both played that led to the demise of the relationship? You both need to clear your minds first to think clearly. Also use this as a guide: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts and Phone Calls

  292. Theresa
    Theresa says:

    Hi Brad. To cut a whole long story short.I was dumped by my ex boyfriend 2 and half weeks ago. And we’ve been together 8 and a half months. We loved each other but always argue and that caused us to always breakup and makeup, but only for a day or two and two weeks was the max. But now I know its over, because when he dumped me he said he feels relieved, he said it a few times. and then he insulted me and my deceased parents, this was all done through text. We are staying in different cities and was planning to move in with him, but he dumped me there too, cause we argued and then we made up when I came back home. And now I’m dumped again, and its been 2 and half weeks now that I haven’t contacted him and I refuse to, but he has contacted me twice to tell me that he’s gonna send my things via post, and i didn’t respond to that. And the second time when he said that he received a message that said ‘returned’ and that I should let him know if i received my parcel. But he also said in the message, that he loved me with all he’s heart. and it is over, and he is not interested in having another relationship anymore with any woman. Why does he have to tell me that it is over? I know it is over..i don’t need to hear it again.And I’m not going to reply to his message.I have a feeling he misses me. And I don’t want to over analyze his last message. But I think if he wanted me back he would say that. Do you think he has any intentions of wanting me back? Or is there any hope?

  293. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello there, Triet. Is this is a serious relationship to being with? I suggest to let go or at least give each other space. Stop trying to force things since it’s guaranteed NOT to work,okay? Read my Ex Factor Guide if you’re still unsure how to go about this.

  294. Triet
    Triet says:

    hi Brad, I was in longdistance relationship. When my ex come back to our city to have a lunar new year, 3 weeks. We have met, hang out and have fun. But in 3 week I just to needy, jealously and etc, she decided to dumbed me! till now is 3 week and we still have talk, coule day ago we have a date that we kissed. But now when I contract to met her she told me she dont want to see me now! what I have to do now master coach!
    Best regards!!!

  295. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Ellie, sorry to hear that. Don’t agree to be his friend though especially if you still have hopes to get him back — this is the surest way to get you stuck. Also stop giving away all your power to him. Look at your own needs instead. Does it match with his? It clearly doesn’t if he only wants to stay friends while you want something more. Make sure you take time to heal and accept the situation, grieve if you must, but stay strong and don’t contact him for at least a month, okay? Read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about this and/or watch this for your own good: 5 Mistakes That Could Ruin Your Chances… Take care!

  296. Ellie
    Ellie says:

    Hey Brad,
    My ex and I were living together when we broke up. I’ve moved out completely and it was a messy and emotional few days. He said he wanted ‘freedom’ without having to worry about me and get on with his own life as a single person. Since we broke up he’s been out every night, meeting new girls and drinking a lot. I tried no contact and on the 6th day he called me, and I feel like I backtracked by answering and have ruined my chances. When he called he said we should meet in a week or so’s time when we’re feeling less emotional and more logical. (he said if he listened to his emotions he’d be with me, but logically doesn’t believe it’s the right thing for him) he has said he’ll think about things and see how he feels in the meantime, and definitely wants me in his life in some way, whether that’s romantically or otherwise. He kept repeating that he didn’t want a relationship, though. We broke up 3 weeks ago. Is it too late to start the month of no contact? Should I change my tactics and maybe just not speak to him until I see him in a couple of weeks? I feel quite content in myself and have been focussing on work, friends and improving myself. Please let me know what you think!

  297. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Allen, most breakups almost always end when you least expect it. Contrary to that, oftentimes, there are telltale signs that it’s over and you can usually see it coming if you’re self aware or pay attention to the signs. Anyway enough about that. Don’t seek closure from her since it won’t get you anywhere. Watch this free video instead so you’ll understand: Understanding Why Your Breakup Happened There is nothing wrong with you, everybody moves on in a different pace and that doesn’t make you weird or anything, don’t be so hard on yourself. 🙂 I suggest to cut off contact just so you can focus on yourself now and heal first. Your communication at this point does not benefit you as much as it benefits her, so stay strong and look after yourself, okay? Moreover, I suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know exactly how to go about this and possibly get her back in the process. Good luck!

  298. Allen
    Allen says:

    Hey Brad.. I just have a few questions with my current situation..
    Firstly I don’t no What’s wrong with me.. why I can’t get over my ex it really only lasted 4 or five months..
    But the break up came so randomly.. she filled my head with lots of things… like her being a women who fights thru… Her I’m was perfect this and that.. I kinda new it would pass eventually Seeing as how I didn’t do nothing.. but then she said the title wasn’t what it seemed any more.. that we were more friends then bf and gf…
    With it being four months isn’t that where we should be really.. great friends and lovers ect…

    She made me think I was that guy for her.. Loving wanted to be with me…
    Now it’s like going back 6 months ago when we never met.. Things are more weird now..
    if I was that guy.. why won’t she give me the time of day..
    Over the phone.. break up and I can’t even see her…

    I don’t get it.. why she would want to stay in touch even now..

  299. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    It was most likely an excuse(s) to breakup. It’s never a good idea to attempt to get in touch right away after a breakup without taking the necessary steps first, cutting off communication is one of those steps. Watch this: 5 Mistakes that Could Ruin Your Chances I won’t go into detail about why that’s important since I’ve already mentioned it here in this article, in many of my videos, and in-depth in my Ex Factor Guide. I suggest you take a step back since having another argument is not gonna help. Take time to heal first and eventually see her real reasons for breaking up and see if it can be resolved or not. This process takes time so don’t rush it. Good luck!

  300. Brien Jones
    Brien Jones says:

    My girlfriend and I broke up four months ago. She wanted to remain friends. I love her and she loves me. We are both divorced and she mentioned that she wanted to break due to wanting practice christian faith with her church. Next excuse was that our sex drives were different she never mentioned those concerns to me. She also accused me of having anger problems, needy, and clingy. I work two jobs and she has one job. We still go out to dinner on weekends. We enjoy each others company. We talk and text briefly during the week. We had a big fight on 1/27/15, over the telephone. She requested for me not to call her. Need advice to fix concerns.

  301. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    I’ve made a free video on that which I think you should watch: How to Get Your Ex Back After Months or Years Apart. Anyway yes, I’ve successfully coached men and women get back with their exes after a long time. Some has found great success in my book even. Anyway at present, it’s important to watch his actions and see if it matches with his words. Do not make him feel pressured by acting needy and desperate though as that is the surest way to put him off. Just act happy around him, keep things fun and light, and totally drama-free. Do not ask about the status and never talk about your feelings or past hurt with him. Right now, you ought to be playing your cards right and doing the right things to help maximize your chances instead of unknowingly self-sabotage it,okay? Focus on rebuilding attraction first. My Ex Factor Guide can help you do that, so you ought to check that out. Take care!

  302. May
    May says:

    Will the no contact work after 7 months of berakup and seeing him yesterday and having a fight with him?? He still want us to ba friends
    Also when i say that he doesnt love me he denies that
    He also sent me a photo 4 days ago of him with i still love you on it

  303. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey Nick, I certainly understand that conflicting emotions you feel and the challenge to stay away. I couldn’t tell if you’ve already signed up for my coaching program, but I recommend that you do so I can guide you on a regular basis as well as delve deeper into your situation and see what the problem is. Anyway, I posted a recent video about this topic with some tips: How to Stop Yourself From Contacting Your Ex because as you already know, you really ought to be giving each other space right now. Listen to the video carefully because I think it somehow applies to your situation. Good luck and talk to you soon!

  304. nick
    nick says:

    Brad,
    I have signed up and plan on following your program because i really want this to workout. my GF and i had the best, intese, passion but recently she would get jealous and acuse me of not giving her the attention and reasurance she wants. (it’s long distance) i did and then when it was not convinient for her like her wanting to go places (out with her friends) she would ignore my texts or return them way after. i know she is busy but she expects that from me, seems confusing well i got upset over something she did and she appologized. first argument we’ve ever had like that and asked if she respected me and loved me as she says why she did what she did. now this made me start questioning her a bit and she says she doesn’t want someone to control her. so it ended one night over the phone. she even stated she can be selfish at times. it’s like she wants her cake and eat it too. but since then i have talked to her and she has said she loves me over the phone and to let things pan out. she brings up things like well if this doesn’t workout then i’m glad i was here to help you in a someway. i’m concerned she even sent me a emoji heart but it seems confusing when she doesnt’ text back right away. so it’s making it hard, anyway i’ve let it go and following your guidance but she has text me quotes and makes me wonder what they mean. i’m not trying to read into them but it makes it hard. she sent me this: “Never look on the dark side of anything. If is has no bright side, don’t look at it at all. Look at something else”. should i reply or continue to let it be? this seems like a rollercoaster.

  305. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    I understand it’s difficult, and I’m sorry to hear that. Understand that you play a big role in this though, and you have to be strong for your own sake. You have to help yourself do the right things based on your situation. Since you haven’t signed up for my coaching program, then there’s really no way for me to see your entire situation and see all the other factors at play — which are all necessary for me to give you a more informed advice. However, I recently posted a video How to Stop Yourself from Contacting Your Ex it’s free and you should find it helpful. If you need the complete information, however, I really suggest you get my guide so you’ll understand why you have to do the things you need to do. All right? Take care!

  306. Areej
    Areej says:

    Brad should i disapper or talk to him or what … I really miss him and it’s killing me accually almost every night i keep crying till i fall a sleep thinking about him
    It’s killing me that i can’t talk to him whenever i want whenever i miss him its killing me that i cannot tell him that i’m in love with him or i miss him
    Brad please help i’m dying without him i want him back i realllyy doo

  307. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey there, being friends with an ex is a downright bad idea. Realize that what’s happening here is she’s demoting you in your role as a boyfriend. Don’t let that happen because chances are, she’ll end up using you to move on from this relationship. Watch this free video: 5 Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances of Getting Back Together. Let her miss you instead and feel what it’s like not to have you in her life by being totally absent for some time. Continue ignoring her for about a month and be sure to work on yourself and not become obsessed with the breakup. I know it’s difficult, but there are stuff you can do to help you out and it’s all in my guide, so you ought to check that out. I’ve listed things you can and cannot do during this phase. Get it if you want the complete details and for starters, watch this too if your ex insists on being friends: Escaping Your Ex-Girlfriend’s Friend Zone

  308. Saurabh
    Saurabh says:

    hi bred I never want to do breakup with my gf but since 4 year of relationship we got physical also but remain always long distance. .occasionally we fight n met about once in a month. now about 2 months back I have exams so couldn’t not call her frequently …notices that her frequency n care becoming decreases n telling me for a break up by excusing that his relationship was an obsession not any kind of love …she wana only friend than she wants to be in relationship …she tells me also that u could b my boyfriend but before that u should make my friend. …finally I make mistakes to remain friends for one month but now I get to know making so sorry n talks final m in totally cut off phase from 2 Day. ..in this period she calld me 2 times but I didn’t reply …wat should I do…pls help

  309. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Areej, sorry to hear that. At this point, try to see if his words matches his actions. If he truly loves you, he will climb the highest mountains just to get with you. I don’t mean literally, but you know what I mean. 🙂 A guy who’s into you will work to win you over and focus on you and will never divert his attention or date other girls instead. But it’s also a possibility that he simply isn’t ready to get into a serious commitment yet, so in this case, there’s nothing you can do to change that; he has to be the one willing to sort his crap together and decide what he really wants. If he’s not ready, then don’t force it, because it will only spell disaster in the end and the same issues of him getting with another girl will crop out sooner or later. Don’t be so quick to give in if he does show you that he wants you back, make him work for your time and affection instead. All right? If there’s still a slot left, sign up for my coaching program so I can guide you on a regular basis as things progress. As for now, let initiate contact and make sure you don’t chase him. Good luck!

  310. Areej
    Areej says:

    hello brad we broke up about 6 months ago it didn’t came out of sudden he started to ignore me and stopped caring or calling i excused him first month because he was too busy but i couldn’t handle it i got frightened of loosing him we started fighting and we took a break in the break we also had a fight every thing got worse he’s dated alot in that time actually even when we were together he wasn’t loyal to me i found out that he dated alotttt when we were together he’s the kind of guys who can’t live without a girl and one is not enough
    in November he tried to fix things between us but it didn’t work out he didn’t do it right he wanted to stay friends with the girls he dated on our break up
    i tried alot but nothing worked out the last time was 2 weeks ago
    yesterday i was out my friend called him asking about me if we were together he went crazy he wanted to know where was i he was calling non-stop when we talked he was really mad i was like it’s non of ur business he was pissed off and said ur crazy u don’t know what u want
    and started to tell me about this girl i think he dated that there is nothing between then
    brad please tell me what to do i truly love him
    we were an amazing couple
    he’s still in love with me he keep saying that to everyone

  311. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    No contact may be your only option now. As I’ve mentioned, talking to an ex when a breakup is till fresh won’t help your cause at all. There’s too much negativity going around and one of the purposes for “no contact” is to allow space to let it settle a bit and not to aggravate the situation further. As of the moment, he’s most likely not thinking clearly as well, so let it sit and allow him to miss you as well. There are many benefits to cutting communication during this phase. I’ve talked about this in many of my videos, so check out my Youtube channel. For more free tips, do visit my website. Take care!

  312. maskedcat
    maskedcat says:

    My long distance boyfriend broke up with me on 6th dec. For 1.5 years we were in relantionship. One year in college and 5 months after college as we moved to different states because of job. Well, we were planning to meet on feburary but he broke up saying that he can’t handle long distance relantionship anymore. He was fine till 30th nov. I have no idea what happened with him all of a sudden. He has a hearing problem so we have to stick to text messages instead of calls. Should I go for no contact period? Will it help in my case?

  313. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Riley, respect his decision to breakup, but also respect yourself so you won’t be going through all this pain and confusion anymore, so take some time off and clear your head first. A breakup is hard and very painful and I’m sorry you’re going through this, but right now, you ought to stay strong and really cut off contact. Let him miss you first. If you continue being friends with him, chances are you’ll get stuck living in the past, and that’s not good. Look after yourself first and focus on getting a clear mind — so does he. Getting back together is a process and like I’ve said in my videos, attraction is built naturally, so never force it. Right now it’s important the you shift the power away from him and back to the most important person: you. You can’t be in a relationship if you’ve lost yourself, so make sure you take care of yourself, start by cutting off contact, okay? 🙂

  314. Riley
    Riley says:

    Dear Brad,

    My boyfriend broke up with me a month and a half ago. We started dating junior year of high school and dated for seven years. He is currently going to law school in California and I am taking post-bacc courses in Texas. This is the first time we have done long distance. Things were going well until we got into a fight because I told him the relationship felt unfulfilling because I didn’t get to spend time with him. After reading a bunch of books about of law school, I realize now that I gave him too much pressure. He broke up with me because he said long distance is really hard, this is our first and only relationship, he doesn’t know if we are going to end up in the same place (I’m planning on going to dental school), the physical distance is really hard, he doesn’t know if he can handle law school and a relationship (he did poorly on some of his exams when we were going through the break up), he is scared he will change and so he won’t let me move there and risk me giving up my career goals for him. I made lots of mistakes: I talked to him everyday until today, I told him we could still be friends, I still support him when he’s stressed, I told him I was sad, depressed, not eating, and I deleted him form FB for a bit. He still wants to google hangout often and still texts me and messages me and told me that he still loved me but just didn’t think he could handle the emotional affect that our relationship had on him while he was studying for law school. What should I do?

  315. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    You’re welcome, Maya! 🙂 This seems like a combination of letting anger get the best of you as well as a bad case of misunderstanding or miscommunication on both your ends. Are you really compatibly with this guy? Sometimes people just get blinded by passion and lust especially during the first few months of the relationship and ignoring the red flags. I’m not saying this is your case for sure, but I’m only looking at that possibility. And to be honest, since the relationship didn’t last that long and it seems like he seems unforgiving, it may be time to move on. To know for sure, I suggest you do the right things first though and that is to give him space to release his anger. As long as you’ve already offered your most sincere apology and then back off, that should be enough to get him thinking, now stay strong and get busy with your life in the mean time. Some people take only a short time to forgive, others take a very long time, and a minority holds grudges and never do. This is all depends on his personality type, but whatever the case, give him space.

  316. Maya
    Maya says:

    Hi Brad,
    My ex (29 years old) has broken up with me (27) about 3 weeks ago because I’ve admitted that I’ve been cheating on him. We were together for 3 and a half months. Neither of us ever spoken about feelings, nor said “I love you”. But we do had some small talks (in an indirect way – through jokes etc.) about something that might seem like a plans for future: for example, he always like to question me during “cuddling sessions” – would I like to get married, how many children do I prefer, what they will become etc. (I’m still confused why did he bring those topics into conversation)…. You know, our relationship was based on sexual attraction and passion. But as the time went by, I learnt that he has some good qualities as a man. Unfortunately, we had some arguing about our relationship – he pressured me sometimes about my “coldness”, my loyalty, being indecisive and that handicapped me and even pushed me further away from showing my real feelings. And I was really infatuated. But he kept on pushing me, than starting not to answer my texts, to be late during meetings and even ignored my birthday! That enraged me so I preventively convinced myself that I loosing him and instead of talking through I started to cheat on him – I know this was stupid, but I tried to move on and avoid getting hurt. And then came a breakup – he has said that maybe he will forgive me, but he’s not sure if he’s ever gonna be with me. The last thing I heard from him was a quiet offensive song he e-mailed me a 2 weeks ago. I didn’t reply and we had no contact since then. Sorry about such a long letter, but I had to explain the whole situation because of its specificity (length, not talking about our feelings or status and cheating).

    So, do you think no contact rule is applicable to this situation? Thanks in advance, I really love your advices!

  317. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello there, sorry to hear that. If he had been showing things that he loves you back, then it was indeed a mistake to be acting out and breaking up with him. Give it one more week of silence and reach out to him first. Now I’m not sure what his situation is, has he recently came out of a divorce? Try to see his reasons and empathize with him. Most of the time, when people come out of relationship, they still carry the past burden especially if the divorce was still fresh on his mind. So as long as he’s not seeing someone else and is only getting over the previous hurt, then it might be worth a shot with him. Visit my Youtube channel to get some tips on how to go about it, but if you want the complete step-by-step information, get my Ex Factor Guide, it can really help you. Take care!

  318. LB
    LB says:

    OK SO I am the one who broke things off with my guy and now I am having regrets. We are in our early 40s both have been married and divorced and he has done it TWICE….despite the fact he said he was not ready for a relationship things moved really quickly in the first 6 weeks or so and I feel stongly that he was considering making things official between us…. he was doing all the “right” things that showed me he was interested, I started fallling for him … and then, I messed up… I could not shake that eventhough he was doing all the right stuff he clearly said he was not ready… so I started obsessing about the horrors of unrequited love and all…. plainly put I know I sabotaged it…. I wound up telling him after about 2 months of dating that I could not handel the casual status and that we needed time, space, a break for me to get control of my emotions…. after a week of partial NC (a few text here and there) and another week of total silence we finally spoke… this time he was even more clear that he was not ready but he said no hard feelings… since then we chatted once or twice and now it has been a few days with NC other than a late night “nothing” text from him (are you still awake?) that I did not respond to….. so I wish I could just go back in time and date him minus all the anxiety and enjoy it and allow it to grow naturally… but now I just feel like im in no man’s land…. is all lost? should I just move on or should I reset, and give the NC a full 30 days the right way?? is there a chance here? help….thanx

  319. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Hannah, wait for him to respond. Never bombard his phone with messages. If he still doesn’t respond, wait another three weeks before you do so. Follow the Youtube link I gave above for some tips on what and how to text him. Even better, save yourself the trouble and just get my Ex Factor Guide since everything is on there and laid out for you step by step. I even included a clean slate email template that you could use to send to your ex boyfriend.

  320. Hannah
    Hannah says:

    Hi Brad! My ex ignored my first text and i followed your advice to make it interesting and non-pressurising or anything. How long should i wait till i send another text and what kind of text should it be? Thanks

  321. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Hannah, well, I’m so happy to hear that! 🙂 Pat yourself on the back for a job well done. If you do the right things and know when to push and when to back off a bit, your ex will likely slowly open up to you. I suggest that you get my Ex Factor Guide so you won’t go wrong on this; everything is listed on there. For starters, though, watch and follow the advice on these videos: How to Talk to Your Ex Again (Establishing Communication With Your Ex) and What to Text Your Ex-Boyfriend (And Make Him Want You Back) . That should sort things out for you a bit, otherwise, get my guide or my coaching program so I can guide you accordingly, okay? Take care!

  322. Hannah B
    Hannah B says:

    Hi Brad! I commented here earlier about my concerns and wanted to say thank you for your advice. I’ve reached day 30 and i can say that I’m in a much calmer state of mind. I’ve found that exercise and throwing myself into work as helped me and I have regained my self-confidence again which has been missing the past few weeks. At the same time, I still do feel like the problems with my ex are ones that we can fix and want to try reaching out to him. Of course we didnt talk during NC but I heard from a friend he has been sad and not socialising as much lately. At the same time, I know he is a very stubborn person and want to know what should I do if he doesn’t reply me when i text him? Don’t want to be affected but at the same time don’t want to come across as desperate. Thanks for your help!

  323. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Julia, I’m sorry to hear that. You ought to cut off contact first to see is this relationship is right for you. Watch this as it might help: Is Your Ex the Right Person for You? 5 Ways to Know for Sure Also don’t settle for anything less and if you really can’t tolerate his behaviour, it might be really time to focus 100% to yourself and your kids. He also needs to support your kids, any mature man will do that. So cut off contact and think this over, okay? 🙂 I’m here to help if you need a fresh perspective to your situation. I do need to know a lot more so I can take a look at your situation closely for me to come up with a logical conclusion, so don’t hesitate to sign up for my coaching program anytime. Take care!

  324. Julia
    Julia says:

    Hey Brad, my ex and I have 2 young kids together. We broke up a week before I gave birth to our daughter because he told me he cheated on me with my best friend in my first pregnancy. We haven’t technically been together since the end of June but we have talked a lot and have been intimate multiple times. I was living at his moms house from May until September 26. He would come over often and we both have very strong feelings for eachother, although when we broke up he started talking to a new girl I guess as a rebound. Now that I live at my dad’s I’ve been trying to use the no contact method and it’s been 11 days so far. What do you think the outcome could be? I want to get back together but he also needs to grow up. I take care of our kids full time with no support from him. But I’m so in love with him. Help!

  325. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey JT, sorry you’re going through this confusion. I do hope that you’ve taken the time to not contact each other for about a month just to sort both your heads out. You’ve done the right thing by agreeing not to be friends, but it was clearly a mistake to be talking to her still after you’ve said that. There should have been a full stop in communications 🙂 It’s also not the right thing to do to ask her to get back together in your interaction with her. It’s not good to give an ultimatum as this only likely led her to feel pressured. I think you need to watch this video so you’ll learn and not repeat the said mistakes here: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Chances So moving forward, stay radio silence and let her reach out to you first. Always be the one to end the conversation first. It’s important that you don’t become too available when she contacts you. Get busy with your life and keep doing all the productive things I’ve mentioned in my Ex Factor Guide. All right, good luck!

  326. JT
    JT says:

    Hi Brad, I have a bit of a unique situation. My ex and I have been officially broken up for a year and a half. We were together for 8.5 months. She was very hot and cold throughout the relationship, and that continued even after we split. There was a period of no contact, reconnection, and we’ve essentially been on and off unofficially for the past year. I made it very clear the entire time that we would not be just friends and I dated a few other women when we were off. The last time I called it quits because I had finally hit a point where I couldn’t take the limbo we were in. That’s when she finally dropped the L-bomb on me. She even asked me if I was giving up that we would end up together. It was all very confusing. When I later asked her if she wanted to try again she said she still wasn’t ready for that and that I should do what I knew I had to do. We went with no contact again for about 4 months. During that time I dated someone, but I couldn’t stop thinking about my ex. I finally ended things with that woman and reached out to my ex. Unfortunately when I did reach out I know I did it in a way that came across like a dud. I was trying to be the nice guy (I know, mistake). Fast forward a couple months to a little over a week ago, and now she’s dating someone else. She emailed me and told me it isn’t serious, but she wanted to be transparent with me, and that we could talk and see what makes sense. In her email she also emphasized that we were just friends. It was extremely frustrating. So many times I have told her we wouldn’t be just friends. I immediately shut down. I haven’t emailed, called, or text her. I also haven’t been on FB since I got the email. I don’t want to know what’s going on with her. I haven’t been able to get this woman off my mind for the past 2 years now. I’m trying to focus on myself right now. I’ve been hitting the gym for 2 hours a night, and spending time with friends. But I’m still a bit of a mess. When she told me she was dating someone else I felt like I had been punched in the gut multiple times, and it hasn’t stopped since. I feel like she strung me along. I honestly don’t know if I should say anything to her, or just remain in radio silence. I know my story isn’t the typical “We just broke up and I miss her”, so any advice you can give would really be appreciated. I do want her back, but I’ve been going about this blindly for too long.

  327. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Henry, have you given each other enough space? I couldn’t stress this out enough. You both need to do this otherwise you’ll end up back together for the wrong reasons; hence, another breakup — which I think is the case here. You can’t really rush things because pushing it might do more damage than good. Read the guide ten times if you have to, just make sure you follow it down to a tee. 🙂 Remember not to operate out of fear since you will only likely project this to your ex, which is a bad move. Calm down, cut off contact for at least 30 days as I’ve mentioned in my guide, and do the tips that are non-ex related that are also on my guide, okay. Take the book to heart because I’ve written there to avoid any type of drama when interacting with an ex. Remember that I can only show you the way, you have to be the one to walk right through it, so read my guide again. Again, cut off contact for about a month because the way I see it now, you’re letting your ex jerk you around…but you don’t have to. Take back the power and focus on yourself now.

  328. Henry
    Henry says:

    Hey Brad. Well me and my girlfriend have recently broken up. Well there has been many problems, such as me saying some stupid things. We broke up and got back together but a few weeks later we broke up again. Things were going good we were friends but when she figured out i was talking to another girl, who i didn’t know too well, for advice in what i should do when we first broke up my ex went bezerk. To some it up she said that “we should stop talking like forever” . I am not sure if she means that, or if she is saying that from frustration. Two days later we got into a feud though text and she was saying the same things. Deep down I want to be her friend, and hoping to get her back. I sent the last message and i know she read it, what should i do? Do i try making the first move? Do i give us some “isolation” time? We have been broken up for 5 days now and our last message was yesterday. Any help will be appreciated, thank you in advance.

  329. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Hanna, I’m sorry to hear that. I think what you need to do now is stop focusing on what will happen during the period of “no contact” but actually start to really focus on your recovery instead. At this point, don’t find excuses to talk to him just yet and work on how you feel and how you need to be in a calm, cool, collected state of mind first. You shouldn’t rush this process because it will only tend to break sooner or later. Give him time and space and keep at it. Everything else that I need to explain is on this video, so watch this: How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back: 5 Steps to Winning Him Back. If you feel you still don’t know how to go about this, consider signing up for my coaching program so I can guide you accordingly as things progress. Take care and stay strong! You can do it. 🙂

  330. Hanna B
    Hanna B says:

    Hi Brad,
    The love of my life broke up with me at the end of august, just a month after celebrated our 2 year anniversary. We had just been away from each other for 2 months due to work commitments and finally on the first day i got to see him, he started bringing up the topic of breaking up. I was dumbfounded but somehow managed to convince him to stay with me and try again, but he ended things a week later because we just kept fighting about nothing that important really). I did all the classic mistakes of begging him, calling him, texting him and telling him I will change for the following 2 weeks but of course he had none of it. I went on NC for 3 weeks but broke it to wish him a happy birthday and then broke it again 7 days after to asking about concert tickets we had bought together, our conversation was normal but then he stopped replying and avoided giving me a yes or no answer regarding going to the concert together. I have started no contact again and am on day 9? He lives in a different city so there’s no chance to bump into each other and Ive finally stopped looking at his social media. I’m moving on with my life and while I’m happy with myself, I do realise exactly how much he meant to me. I plan to finish this 30 day NC but what do i do if he doesn’t reach out during that period? How do i know what’s his state of mind right now during this no-contact period? Thank you for your help!!!

  331. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello David, I’m sorry you’re going through all this confusion with your ex. I think you just need to know each other better first, so hold off on that proposal first and never rush it. It’s a good thing that she had seemed to agree with the idea of being married to you, but just don’t rush it, okay. I’m glad you’ve bought my book because you’re now equipped with what to do, the challenge is to follow it down to a tee. 🙂 You’re right in thinking that she needs more time to figure things out. Pushing it when she’s clearly not ready yet has the tendency to worsen the situation, so make sure you give it time. You can initiate contact after about a month or so. Remember to use this time to recover and perhaps analyze what went wrong and learn from those mistakes. Take care and good luck, man!

  332. David Jenkins
    David Jenkins says:

    Hey Brad.

    I was in a long distance relationship with my gf for about four months. She came to see me in London at the beginning for a week and things were definitely hot and heavy. She is LA and I was in London. She was constantly saying we should get married and start things together and I would always say it sounds good and I just need to think about it. We had both had bad marriages and well I had other romantic ideas. I was planning on coming to LA and proposing to her, especially since I told her I would not see her that much due to other family things happening. One day I talked to her and then told my parents I was going to get married soon. I didn’t….we didn’t want a big thing, just go to the courthouse, get married and start a life. Anyway, as soon as I told her that I had told my parents about her, she immediately just said, I don’t think this is going to happen and said she is ok where she is. It completely threw me for a loop especially since I didn’t realise how strong my feelings were for her. I did all of the things that I was not supposed to do, before recently buying your book. The issue obviously is that we reside in different countries, but for the next few weeks I am in LA. Should I initiate contact, since it feels like she is doing everything in your book. I did sort of hold back from communications for two weeks and still need to figure things out. Any advice?

  333. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    It’s definitely time to cut off contact and let him miss you while you get to focus on your own life as well and your well-being. How violent is violent? Perhaps you should indeed consider talking to a medical professional who can help you with this. Giving space only gives you time to work on yourself and any issue you might have, which is a very important if you were to have a successful relationship with your ex or with anyone else in the future. 🙂 Stop talking to him for about a month so you can try to recover and get your life back on track. Shift the focus away from the relationship and back to you first because if your ex really meant what he said, then he will likely reach out sooner or later, but don’t wait for that time doing nothing. Again, take steps to recover and deal with your issues as well, okay. Take care!

  334. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Alina, it’s never a good thing to jump into conclusions as this may only spell trouble. Can you try to find out what’s happening in his life first and be compassionate through all of it? He may just be going through some things in his life and this is where effective communication comes in. On the flip side, if he’s not one to talk about problems then try to see if this relationship is right for you or if you are really compatible or not. I can help you develop some effective communication skills to make him possibly open up to you if you need any help on that. http://www.BreakupBrad.com/Coaching Try to calm down and not get angry immediately without talking to him first. 🙂 I’m also wondering why your interaction has to happen through chat, try to see each other and spend time together because it might help solve your problems and talk to him when you’re face to face. A lot of misunderstandings are bound to happen with online communication, especially if you don’t know your ex well. Were you friends first? How long did the relationship last? Here are the signs of a healthy relationship. How many of these do you have? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9mVzh2NVAc&list=UUhCFbthWQF4MKA-43SCDB9g

  335. stranger
    stranger says:

    Me and my bf were together two and half years. And we were having international relationship. At that moment he stayed my country but he had to leave. We had long distance relationship for 3 months and I moved to his country for being with him. But there was visa problems so we were discussing getting married. But my depression was getting so terrible and started being very unattractive character as you exactly mentioned.. we lived together for 3 months.. and we had even physical fight.. after that fighting , his family hates me and he wanted to break up. I begged him for second chance. And he was going to consider it but wanted for me to go back home. So I had to come back my country.. we stayed the last day all day together and he cried a lot and said love me. He said he was willing to work things out. Of course we had sex a lot of times..But after I got back home he seemed very cold and he told me he needs his space and time while rebuilding our relationship. But as I am from different asian culture, so It is actually hard to understand. He said not allowed for us to date with others, and he committed he doesnt pursue other women too. But he doesnt give me time to talk. He always say , I can talk to him through messenger but dont expect for him to answer me everytime.. being violent was my fault and he has been really good to me before that thing happened. So I really want him back to me.. whenever I send him message like pictures of me, he sometimes smile. But we dont talk through phonecall or skype. Should I do the no contact period? I heard he told his friend that he loves me but he scared the violent thing happened and first step is for me to meet therapist and get well.

  336. alina
    alina says:

    thank you so much for your most valuable advices . . it has been a week since we are in such relationship . ..it seems like he is nt dt intrested . ..he is not like the previous time who used to adore me . stare at me n all . .its all seema like he is with me for my sake . . he says he love me. .bt i dnt see any love from his messages . .its seems like he is not intrestest to chat with me . .kind of just doing some timepass with me . . i love him a lot . .i want him.back i before . yesterday he had this his last seen on watsapp n facebook . .but he didnt replyed me . this made me hurt n had small arguement with him . .he said he didnt wanted to msg me dts y he didnt msged me . he said if you are so eager to chat with me dat you r continously checking my last seen den you should have msged me . .i want him back …bt his behaviour is losing my interest in relation . . i want to change my irritating nature . bt his this behaviour dissapoints me . .yesterday i just told him that i knw you r nt intrested to chat . .den dont be with me just to show me that you are doing some kind of favour for me . and den i ended the chat . .

  337. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Alina, did you mean “wrong” instead of doing everything “right?” 🙂 You see, begging, crying, pleading, showing how much you love them, or anything that says you’re devoted to them never works after a breakup. Contrary to common belief, it will only make things worse and is indeed counterproductive because begging or crying makes one appear needy or desperate. So I hope you never do that again. 🙂 If your boyfriend is willing to stick around, then that’s good. It seems like you’ve realized that fighting or arguing is a mistake, so YES, I do suggest you try to change that behavior because that is a huge factor. If this is related to your depression, then I suggest you seek or continue to see a therapist to help you deal with it, okay. This might just be what you need to help you with your relationship. Watch this video and internalize the things I said on here about how to maintain a healthy relationship and keep the attraction alive: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9mVzh2NVAc&list=UUhCFbthWQF4MKA-43SCDB9g

  338. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Daniel, while some people believe in the concept of “cold feet,” I personally don’t believe it. However, this doesn’t mean that you should be pursuing her. In fact, I suggest you do the opposite and give her an adequate amount of time and space on her own so she can mull things over. I know it’s hard on you, mate, it’s not easy when your soon-to-be-wife breaks up with you out of the blue, but try to relax and work on your own goals, get busy, turn to your friends for support, anything to get your mind off her for a bit. She knows where you are and how to reach you and definitely knows you want to marry her, so if this is what she wants, then she may come home when she’s ready, just don’t bother her too much and let her think, okay. On the flip side, there might be other factors going on that you might not have stated, and if you want me to delve into that and help you heal and/or determine whether this relationship is right for you or not, I’m here to help at http://www.BreakupBrad.com/Coaching otherwise, I do recommend watching my Youtube videos because I offered more helpful tips on there as well.

  339. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Make sure you watch and subscribe to my channel as well since I have more tips on there as well. If you like my articles and videos, then you’d surely love my Ex Factor Guide, which contains a detailed list of what to do and how to act, what not to say, etc. This may sound harsh, but I say it’s quite a blessing in disguise that he broke up with you for two reasons: 1.)You don’t want someone to be in a relationship with you for the wrong reasons, right? You deserve better than being the rebound girl. and 2.) The breakup will give him space and time (so stop contacting him and let him reach out to you first) enough to perhaps miss you. Let him initiate contact so he can think clearly and make the right decision. Also work on your own life and get busy with your own goals.Take time to heal as well. Do not be instantly available to him when he reaches out because remember, you’ll be busy with your own life by then.

  340. alina
    alina says:

    hello . . me n my bf broke up abt a month ago . .i did everything right from begging to crying . . i did all this for about 1 month . .during this process he agreed to be in relation with just for my sake . . he said he cared my me n coz of my depression he was ready for the relationship . .but i didnt agreed as i dnt want any forced love from him . recently we meet n he some what got his feelings back for me . .he says he still love me now . .bt not like the previous time . . means not 100% love . . my irritating nature was the reason for his lost love dts wat i feel . .and he do still gets irritated by the way i always fight with him or argue with him . so according to you wat shud i do now . .should i continue being in relation n try to get his 100% love by changing my irritating nature or get some no contact period n then try . .i m afraid he wont return after no contact period .

  341. Daniel
    Daniel says:

    Hi brad. My fiancé left me almost 2 weeks ago. Everything was going great, at least I thought!! We were so happy and excited that we were finally moving into our own place. I signed the lease and started moving things in. She left for a week to go to burning man and while she was gone I was getting things set up. We talked about having kids and was in the process of trying, we were so excited to be getting married. Anyways, after she got home we went shopping and bought all kinds of new things for the new place. I gave her money to give to her current roommate to pay off the remainder of rent in her old place so she could start moving her stuff in. Everything I thought was going fantastic!! Just a couple days later with no warning she ended the relationship!! Was not even face to face, it was done by text!! I am so confused about the situation!! All she kept saying is that she isn’t ready for commitment and that she’s not sure if this is what she wants!! I have not talked to or seen her in over a week!! Could you give me some advice as to what may be happening and if there might be a chance that she will come home?!?!? I just don’t understand how someone can change their mind so abruptly!!! Thank you

  342. Julie
    Julie says:

    Hey,

    My ex broke up with me two weeks ago, we just got back from celebrating our anniversary. When I met him he had just broken up with an ex of over 3 years, 3 months before so I guess you can say I was the rebound girl. I was with him for 2 and a half months. Everything seemed great before we left on our anniversary trip to Orlando, we never even argued once, and when we come back 3 days later he breaks it off saying that he’s been thinking about his ex lately and our trip made it worse because everything we did reminded him of her. He said he doesn’t want to get back with her and so far they are not FB friends but he needs time to himself right now and its best if we don’t talk for a couple weeks. I made the mistake of texting him after break up that I miss him and that I’ll do anything to make it work, he ignored me so now after reading your articles I stopped and I am going to try the no contact rule. Do you think I have a chance?

  343. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    You’re welcome, Alex! Yes, let her make the first move. If you want to reach out first, you may do so, but make sure that you let enough time pass by (at least a month) prior to making contact. Also make sure that you’ve taken steps to recover and become cool, calm, and collected as well. Missing these two important elements (cutting off contact and recovering) is not an option because it might backfire if you skip any of the two I’ve mentioned. Assess yourself before making contact AFTER A MONTH. If you haven’t healed and still feeling emotional in that time frame, then that’s a sign that you’re not quite ready yet, so, again, make sure you recover first. If you’re not ready to sign up for my coaching yet, then tips on how to re-establishing contact with an ex and other helpful tips are on my Youtube channel, so make sure to check that out as well. Good luck!

  344. Alex
    Alex says:

    So you think she should make the first move to contact me? If is not when can i contact her back? I know about the no contact period but you think it would be enough? Thanks a lot Brad! Thank you

  345. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey Alex, let time do its part in healing both of your wounds. Also really cut off contact — and stop receiving updates about her — so you can get a better perspective in your relationship. Try to determine if you are really compatible because if your fights eventually led to the breakup, then your ex might be right. Watch my Youtube videos as I have a lot of tips on there including ways to gauge if your ex was right for you or not. Right now you want to shift the focus from her to you and work on your own goals as well. Independence is always a good trait, so stop making this all about her and instead what you are looking for in a relationship and try to exhibit those qualities within you first, okay. Don’t forget to watch and subscribe to my Youtube videos/channel or if you want me to delve into your situation further and follow your situation closely, then sign up for my coaching program at http://www.BreakupBrad.com/Coaching

  346. Alex
    Alex says:

    Hi Brad. My gf broke up with me 3 weeks ago. We havent talk or message. Neither me or her. We go to the same school. But we dont talk. She ignores me, FB block me, and not even eye contact. The reason that she broke up with me is because we argued for some days (strong arguments) and when she broke up with me she said that she was very frustrated with me and think that we are not compatible at all. We were together for almost 6 months. We seen each other everydayat school , even i used to have the key of the her house ( shes very independent) i used to go sleep with her Wednesday, friday, saturday and sunday. But she said that my attitude kill her love towards me. In the whole relationship we had 3 strong arguments. Now shes hanging out or talking with people she used to critique and not Kinna like. Even she is talking or hanging out with a guy that never like me neither do I. She is very proud and thinks that she does not need anybody in her life sometimes she can be negative person. What should i Do? She is being focusing on her own goals and even mention to somebody that there will be not a second chance. We had a very passionate relationship. When we broke up she told me she wants to find love towards me by her own, an if it happen then it will happen but she does not want to force it. She said that she was still attach to me and hve a strong attraction towards me .

  347. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Tyson, distance has proved to be a very challenging aspect in a relationship, especially those without a strong foundation (friendship) to start with. Will you still be bumping into her in the future? Since she broke up with you, I always recommend for you to go into complete “no contact.” In my Ex Factor Guide, this is also known as the recovery phase. The purpose of this (check out my Youtube channel) is for you both to get into a better state of mind where you’re supposed to be making logical, instead of impulsive decisions. With this, you need to give her time for about three weeks to a month after the breakup to let her think things over. She can’t think clearly if you communicate during this period, plus you’re in danger of being “used” as a means to get over the breakup, so again, cut off contact and do not overanalyze her behavior at this point.

  348. Tyson
    Tyson says:

    Hey Brad
    My ex and I split about 5 weeks ago. We had been together for a year doing long distance. She was head over heels for awhile and wanted to move to my town at the end of the summer. She broke it off due to commitment and long distance being too much for her to manage. At this time she kept saying it didn’t feel like the end for us and she’s unsure. Which makes me think it was the situation and nothing to do with either of us. She tried texted me many times in the 1-2 weeks which I ignored, just seeing how I was what I was up to sort of thing. Then I bumped into her a few times (just happened to be working in the same area for a few days) and we spoke brief small talk but she also mentioned she was still confused and unsure, things felt “funny”. After that she called me one day just checking in to see how I was dealing and I kept calm cool and collected. That was a few days ago. Is it too late to start the 31 day no contact or should it be a modified one?

  349. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Watch this video on my Youtube channel as far as understanding why the breakup happened: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6IX-pUnGZQ It might shed some light to your situation. The bottom line, though, is there might have been a loss of attraction. You’ve only been two months in to the relationship and it’s already on and off, which tells me that you might be incompatible as a couple. Continue with cutting off contact for about a month. If his feelings for you were even there in the first place, you will know for sure because he would reach out over and over again. But as for now, take the time off to recover from all of this first.

  350. Vanity
    Vanity says:

    hi, my ex and I were together for like 2 months but we’ve known each other for 2 years. been going on and off. we just broke up like 2 weeks ago. I haven’t been talking to him. but he did contact me 2 days ago but it was 4 in the morning and simply asked me if I was sleeping. Last night he texted me again this time at 3 in the morning asking me the same question. when i replied he was asking what i was doing and if i was home alone. Now i personally think that he sees me as his booty call or something. But i know there was a time he said things like i cant live without u. and even told our mutual friends about me and stuff. is it possible he still wants me back? cus i dont get it. it was going so wel and just one day poof he said ‘i’ve been thinking and it’s better if we dont see each other again’.
    jist like that. he didnt even wat to explain why. so i stopped.

  351. Blaise Butterfield
    Blaise Butterfield says:

    Hi Brad, thank God intelligent people like you have gained and shared such helpful knowledge. My situation is not great as I have stumbled across your work later than I should have and my ex has fallen in love with someone else. Also we have a son together who I look after on weekends, so I am unable to do the no contact properly even though the first time I implemented it it seemed to work. Please help me we’re meant to be together, do you do private consultation?

  352. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey Michelle, you’re welcome. I’m sorry you’re going through this right now. The best thing to do at this point is cut off contact and leave him alone. Moreover, as hard as it sounds, you need to move on with your life. This is to ensure that whatever happens down the line, you have accomplished a lot of things for yourself and you have healed and recovered from all the drama. Understand that you can’t wait for him in the sense that you have to put your life on hold just for him, but that you’re doing it in order to heal and be happy with your own company for a while. You can buy a copy at http://www.exfactorguide.com 🙂

  353. Michelle
    Michelle says:

    Hi Brad.

    Thank you for making all your videos available on line. I live in the UAE and I haven’t been able to find them out here.
    My boyfriend broke up with me last week (over the phone). We had been together for 2 years, but he said that he was no longer in love with me. This has totally crushed me. We met for the first time yesterday so we could talk about it in person. He said that right now, as I’m not in a stable job, he can’t deal with all the stresses going on in my life, and that me being unstable has made him fall out of love with me. He wants me to get settled, and if I still feel the same, call him up and we can have a talk about taking things slowly again (although he can’t make any promises about him moving on by then). I don’t want to spend the next however long having false hope that things will be OK. Please help!
    And please let me know where I can purchase your guide.

  354. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey Sofia, thank you for buying my guide… but try to read the guide again. It’s too soon to be expecting for something to happen. 🙂 As I’ve written in my guide, it takes about 3 weeks to a month before emotions will be back to a calmer state. Believe me, you do not want to be interacting in an emotional state. Remember, this is a process so you can’t rush it. Oh, and make sure to follow the instructions on my book from now on. You’re taking a step forward, but you’re actually taking two steps back whenever you make a mistake, so read my guide carefully.

  355. Sofia
    Sofia says:

    Hi Brad, I recently bought your book. Let me tell you my story. I met this guy 9 months ago. We started dating until I found out that he had a girlfriend. He confessed me that but that he had broken up with her. Since then, we have been seeing each other but he told me that he didn’t want something serious for now. Everything was good, until a month ago. He changed completely, he started to ignore me completely, and of course I did everything that you said in your book not to do. I strongly feel that he is seeing another girl and I don’t know what to do. We haven’t seen each other in a month, and I started the no contact rule a week ago but nothing has happened. Please tell me your advice. :’(

  356. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey Hani,

    If you want to get him back, then you need him to miss you. Which videos have you watched? I suggest you check out each of them since it offers some really helpful tips too. 🙂 Anyway, back to your question… simply tell him that you both need to recover first and that it simply is not a good idea that you keep in touch because this will prevent you from moving on. This is what you want your ex to think so that he would that you’re not pining around for them (even if you are). I always suggest in my videos to cut contact first, so that’s the first thing you should be doing right now. Do it for at least 30 days. This should be enough time for him to miss you and will get both of you into the right mindset by then.

  357. Hani
    Hani says:

    Hi Brad, my boyfriend and I just broke up last Monday. He said it nicely that difficult right now for him to see me because of his family situation but he said he will find sometime so we can meet the key word is ‘sometime’ but it sound like ” I can’t see you anymore” for me. At that time I told him I understand the situation with his son and I told him he is a great man and wish him all the best.
    (Honestly before I always freak out if I didn’t hear fom him even for one day and I was kind of clingy but I’m working on it). So i watched your video it help me a lot it gives me strength to be able to control myself to do not contact him. We haven’t any contact for 1 day and I didn’t say or do anything (maybe surprised him I guess) but suddenly he texted me and I regret that I replied back because it break the no contact rule. My question is how I go back to the no contact rule without make hm feel that I push him back because my goal is to get him back. Or is that any other way I can do because in the past 2 days we are still texting each other even just texting about general thing. Please help I know this sounds desperate because I’m

  358. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey Amber, in most cases, breakups happen due to a loss of attraction. Although this is a downright challenging experience for you since your ex found someone else right away, you should do your best to cut off contact. This shows her that you respect her need for space, which may somehow compensate when you whined and pleaded. Remember that you can’t rush it and nothing you do or say right now will change your ex’s mind. So in this case, do your best to move on. Check out my Youtube videos and Facebook page too, there are a lot of information there which could help. 🙂

  359. Amber
    Amber says:

    Hey Brad
    Me and my ex broke up a month ago it was an out of the blue. I did all the things I shouldn’t do begged pleaded and whined. She never really gave me a reason as to why she left. We’ve been broken up a month ago today as she started dating an 18 year old 2 weeks ago. She’s 27. Now I’m not really sure if I should do anything she tells me she’s never been happier and she doesn’t ever wanna be with me again. But I would do anything to have her back.

  360. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    You’re already doing the right thing. Try to not become too available though as she might not believe that you’re really busy. Remember, you want to be subtle on this. If you can really help it, try to stick to the no contact strategy for at least 30 days, this may just give her enough time to miss you so much that she’ll come running back to you. Check out my Youtube videos and my Facebook page. I posted a lot of tips on there! 🙂

  361. Sangga
    Sangga says:

    Hey, i have done this no contact strategy for 3 days, and my ex gf just text me this day about an hour ago. she said “you still mad at me?” then i replied “no, sorry im really busy right now. talk to you soon” sooo, did i make a mistake by reply her text?

  362. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Bruno,

    Thanks for the message. You certainly would not want to become plan B! One thing you can do is stop being too available to her. Wait for about 24 hours before making a reply. This will make her think that you’re busy and fulfilling your goals. For more information and tips on how to go about this, you can check out my Ex Factor Guide found here: http://www.exfactorguide.com/index0.php.

  363. Bruno
    Bruno says:

    She broke up with me 2 months ago, I tried to use the no contact…and suddenly she started msging me on whats app, asking about how am I , what I was doing…now she msgs me every 4 5 days..once a week like ”to check”, where am I what I am doing…I dont really understands if she wants bo be friends or if shes putting me like a plan B. The thing is we have been together 8 months on board a cruise ship working and living together in the same cabin for 8 months, when I disembarked I arrived home 1 week after she broke up ! Im brazilian shes, english…I was planning to live in Ireland and she knows that. Now Im in Brazil and shes in UK. Theres no phisycal contact, but she keeps checking me on whats app, fcebook, once a week. I did the test and Ive got 67…What should I do ??

  364. Jimmy
    Jimmy says:

    I’ve known my ex for about 8 years before we took things a little more serious. She and i became bf/gf about 6 months ago. Due to unforseen circumstances she had to move out of the place she had and moved in with me, because she had nowhere to go at the time, a month after we became bf/gf and we have been living together ever since up until a couple weeks ago. Things were good despite my job loss and her having sporadic jobs here and there. I got a new job about 3 months ago and she still hasnt looked for one. I dont mind that at all. Up until a couple weeks ago we seemed fine but then she hit me with the i need a break, that i needed to fix some personal issues i had before we could go on, that i lacked effort towards the relationship, that she had fallen out of love with me. She said it was up to me to try and salvage it but it’s so hard to see how cold she turned towards me. I need advice on what to do.

  365. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Yes, you did the right thing by giving him time and space. He may have kept his emotions in and finally let off some steam when he saw what he saw on Facebook. Give him space for at least 30 days. The least thing you want to do right now is make things worse by accidentally saying the wrong things, as the case with people in emotional turmoil. Continue hanging in there and focus on dealing with your own emotions first so you can recover.

  366. Amy
    Amy says:

    My ex & I spent every day together for 5 mos. we never got sick of each other which surprised us both. He told me he knows I’m what he wants & he never felt like this before. He told me first that he loves me. And for the first time I had a completely honest relationship. We were friends. We could tell each other anything. I never felt so strongly for someone before like I did with him. Well for some unfortunate circumstances he was going to Utah temporarily for work. He was doing it for “our” future. He completely changed when he got there. He’s not the same person. He made promises to me I never asked him to. He would tell me how much he misses me & loves me then all of a sudden he starts ignoring me, won’t answer my calls or texts. Nothing. No official breakup, no explanation. I just don’t understand & don’t know what to do. I’m completely heartbroken

  367. Hanna
    Hanna says:

    The reason for our break up is a chitchat on FB that I had with a guy 2 years ago,which only lasted for a month or so, around the start of our relationship. He went through my computer n found it……do u thing it will be a good enough reason to break up with me? Do u think that’s a cover up just yo walk away…….. Please help me Brad I already made the emotional mistakes. I cried & begged him to stay and give me a second chance……the last thing I told him was to take about 2 weeks to think about it with out being bothers by me & get back with a final answer. It’s been a week now and I’m hanging in there. Do you think I did the right thing to give him time to think?
    Please tell me some tips on how to fix all my mistakes. And in what I could change to make it work. Please just a little tip.
    I thank you in advance.

  368. PJ
    PJ says:

    My relationship has moreless ended and I’m really having a hard time of letting go because I really love this man so much but I know that it’s not healthy. We were together for almost 3 years but the last year has been totally hell for both of us. He started putting his hands on me and I would threaten to call the police but didn’t because all I wanted him to do was leave and cool off. He would continue breaking things in our home or he would be hitting me. Eventually I would call the police and now he tells everyone how I called the police on him and made him leave his home, However, it was he that chose to hang out with his gay friends and stay gone for a couple weeks at a time. I went along with this for 5 months paying all the bills and when he returned I would take care of us because he would not have any money. He would give me money for rent one month and I paid the rent to the landlord and he became violent and I asked him to leave and he wanted his money back and I didn’t give to him and he told everyone how I took his money and kicked him out. Yet he failed to tell them how I paid rent ad all the bills for 5 months while he took off for two weeks each month. I don’t feel I should have given him the money back. Should I have given him the money back? Also, one time he held me hostage in our bedroom and slapped me around and blacken my eye and did some things to me that violated my body and continued to hold me against my will. I managed to get out of the house and he took off. I didn’t call the police but I was and still am hurt by his actions and to have hin deny his actions really hurt me. He tries to persuade me that he didn’t do this but he did because I definitely didn’t blacken my eye or bruise my body. Even though all of this transpired I was willing to get some help and try to maintain our relationship because I really love him. However, he took off and has since that time treated me as if I’ve done something to him but it’s really the other way around. He lies to me and have others lie about his whereabouts and finally I’m getting to the point that I want to give up wanting to be his friend because when he needed me I’ve always been there for him. I helped him get his benefits and shared everything with him. Now, my job is gone and my benefits have been exhausted and I’m having a hard time financially and he appears to enjoy having me ask him to loan me something onlu to be told no by him. Now, I want to walk away from this one sided relationship and never speak to him again but I know that if he came back I would take him back in a heart beat, how sickening can this be for a woman to allow herself to be treated in this manner. Are there other women that allow themselves to be treated like I’ve been treated?

  369. selam
    selam says:

    Hi brad I actually break up with my bf over text and am the one i ask him to move on cuz i don’t get attention as i want it and he never put on any effort for the fact what am asking. He never ask me to do things but when i ask him whats going on he always said nothing i think he has something to hide i know his pass relationship has affected him and we talked about it and his fine with it. He never say that he loves me and i get upset about it. But know i want him back i just want him to be around me each time i think about him i get nervous but there is one point though I cheated on him with his friend I thought I got love from his friend but I made a mistake ever since that day when I text he never respond when I called never picked it up. And I need to tell him why I did it and explain my self and the big thing in here tho each time i see him it made me back fire on him and help what to do

  370. Jen
    Jen says:

    Hello Brad,

    I’m in my early 50’s and relationship issues and break ups are not just limited to the younger generations. I’ve been reading your articles and having been gathering strength from them and intend to purchase your program. I was in a great relationship with a wonderful man for 2 years, we talked about marriage, retirement and where we’d like to live. Then about a year ago things started to change and we didn’t spend as much time together which would result in arguments. Several months ago he said he could not be in a relationship with me any longer because the stress of the fighting was too much but he wanted us to be friends. He’s been keeping me in the friend zone and I have been dumb enough to allow it because of the love we shared and the love I still have for him. Unfortunately I didn’t discover you until just recently and have made a lot of the mistakes you caution against doing.
    I have cut contact with him for a few days in the past, even sent the suggested email stating he’s right about time apart, but then he calls, texts or emails me. This weekend was another typical repeat of how things go, things are said, feelings hurt etc., etc. ending with the same conversation that things need to change. I have made the decision that they MUST change, I don’t want to be his plan B or backup plan. I sent him the email again, but this time I know I have to cut off all contact for the full 31 days.
    What do I do if he contacts me again, how do I handle his calls or reply to his texts/emails? Do I ignore the calls and voicemails and not call back and not reply to his texts/emails?
    I’m desperate to make this work once and for all!!!
    Thank You

  371. tashon gallagher
    tashon gallagher says:

    ok my ex dumped me on new years eve and i am heart broken (this was a 2 year gay relationship) i am madly in love with him but since new years eve i have done EVERYTHING that you say not to
    and now he deleted and blocked my number and blocked me off all social media sites…have i totally messed up my chances??? or can i still win him back????
    i know him so well and i know that after 2 days of me not contacting him he ALWAYS contacts me without fail but as he has blocked me out will this still work…
    he also said that he is seeing someone else but im not sure if he is just saying this to hurt me.
    he has said he doesnt want to see me again or speak to me again but the thing is when he is drunk he would always message me asking me to meet him because he misses me and wants cuddles and we have been sexually active with eachother 5 or 6 times since we split up….but when he is sober he returns to his nasty self he calls me names, insults me and tells me never to speak to him again…..i have got to the point where i have bought a new sim card to change my number because if he is seeing someone i dont want to ruin that. what should i do? please i am in utter desperation 🙁
    thank you

  372. Pete
    Pete says:

    Hi Brad I really need your help. My long distance relationship has ended, she broke up with me two weeks ago, not the first time over the same issues, I have been very sweet, romantic and always gave my 150% to be her support for everything. Her priorities shifted towards her friends and her problems at home and her rudeness, aggressiveness and short temper made me feel like I am the worst person on this planet. Because she needs a VISA to travel I was the only one travelling to see her these past 2.5 years. I proposed in a very romantic way on her birthday in the Caribbean I did literally everything to make her and her daughter my family. She said she can not tolerate me anymore because I am demanding, and jealous. I replied when you are too busy with friends and can’t take 5 minutes to talk all day then there is a problem and I am envious of the time you give your friends. Anyways she said that it was over that we both committed errors and nothing more we could do, Yet she still still chats with me online and still posted photos from my recent trip down there. I don’t know what to do, cut ties completely? Disappear for awhile? After she broke up with me I had some issues at work that she knew about and she kept calling me to find out what happened, I am very sad and confused, I love her dearly and she knows it as does all her family, I feel she is taking advantage of the fact that since I have known her I have been the one always putting in all the effort. What should I do? I am heartbroken and looking for help. She is 32 I think by now she should know what she wants, her ex of 10 years was extremely mean and curl to her, I am the complete opposite.

  373. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    You can’t convince her with words, you need to show her (with your actions) that she’s made a mistake. Don’t talk to her for 30 days, and during that time work on ‘self-improvement’ so that she can see you’re still the awesome dude she first fell for.

  374. Aaron
    Aaron says:

    Look. I don’t have the money for the book. And I already made the mistake of the emotional phases. I can’t stop thinking about her and I scored a 69 so I don’t know what to do. She said that she won’t change her mind no matter what. I’m completely lost please help me.

  375. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    You’re going to have to let him know that HE may lose YOU and not the other way around. You need to induce what I call “Covert Jealousy”. This tactic is further explained in my video which you should watch right now. I highly recommend this — you have a very good chance of getting your ex back.

  376. Channel
    Channel says:

    I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years and a half. We were each others first love and we travelled often to see each other. About a month and a half ago I started being more involved on social media and with friends, he started to get really mad and extremely jealous because I was ”seeking” attention from others. I turned off my phone one night until the next night because I wanted to enjoy the weekend without complaints. I have always stayed faithful, I love him to death but I needed some time to socialize with my friends. He then broke up with me over the phone. My first reaction was very aggressive because I felt betrayed by the one guy a trusted. Its being a month now since the break up. He texts me about random topics, movies he recommends to me and the weather for example, but we only answer each others text a couple days after we receive them. I’m worried that the no contact rule might lead me to loose him, since he Is far away and may find another girl.

  377. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Clay, thanks for the comment… sorry to hear about your tough breakup. Sounds like you’ve still got a good shot at winning her back, but you definitely need to stick to the ‘no contact’ strategy. Your recent conversations don’t sound like they’re helping at all, so shutting down the lines of communication should serve as a good wake up call for your ex. If you need further 1-on-1 help, please consider signing up for my program (click here to check out my free video). Best of luck, hope it works out for you!

  378. clay
    clay says:

    Brad,
    I have been reading your articles…its very insightful. My gf broke up with me officially the other night. Took our relationship off fb and everything. But she moved out a little over a month ago. She is the most loving person I have ever been with and I love her with everything that I have. I broke her trust though. I wasn’t myself due to work issues and having a lot of stress. We were together for almost a yea year and a half. We talked about marriage and a family. For the last two weeks she has been very got and cold. We were spending time together and she was staying over and she was telling me she loves me and acting like herself but still with a bit of a guard up. But in the last two weeks shes sais sges really scared…I hurt her emotionally…this is so hard…to actually asking me if she could come over last saturday night. But then she can be distant and cold as well. I’ve been busting my ass to make things right and to better myself and to make the changes I need to. But Friday when she did it she was cold and blunt and diatant. It seems like she is hiding her feelings and trying to push them away. She sd when she was here the other night she felt uncomfortable. She said she had trying coming back a few times but it felt icky. So now im in no contact for almost two days. Our relationship is worth fighting for because when I was myself it wad great and we had so much love. I need your help

  379. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Sarah… the key in a situation like yours is to stay friendly and upbeat anytime you see your ex, but make sure that you keep any discussions to a minimum (in a polite way so as not to cause any friction between you and your ex). You can use the fact that you see your ex often to incite a bit of jealousy. For example, you could casually drop a reference to a new guy you’re seeing… or allow your ex to overhear you telling a co-worker about the fun plans you have this weekend, etc.

    Best of luck, hope it works out for you!

  380. sarah patterson
    sarah patterson says:

    hey so my ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago, i took the quiz on this site and scored 82… i want to use this no contact idea on him cause he gets jealous easily and it might help me get him back, but the thing is we go to the same college and both work at the campus bookstore so ill probably end up seeing him every day, what should i do? does the no contact work if you see your ex every day? thanks!!!!!!!!!!1

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