woman holding a man's flexed bisep at that table

How to Challenge a Woman

Women are challenging to understand let alone to try and seduce. In an attempt to make your dating life easier and more successful, I thought I would share with you one of the key factors in attracting women, which is to challenge them.

Now I’m not talking about challenging them to a dual or a dance battle, but challenging them in such a way that you build attraction and have them end up chasing you.

This is one thing that is commonly overlooked in attracting women.

Women aren’t attracted to the agreeable nice guy that pays too much attention to them. No, they’re attracted to the guy that makes them work for his attention and, in the process, excites them through his mystery.

In this article, we will first discuss why women like men who are a challenge to them, and then we will move onto some suggestions about how to challenge women.

Why women enjoy a challenge:

A woman likes a challenge because the harder she has to work for your affection, attention and time, the more valuable you become to her.

It’s human nature. If we are just given something and don’t have to work for it, typically, people take it for granted. We value the things that we have earned.

For example, if you are just given food every day, just for being you, which a lot of people are fortunate enough to have, you begin to expect food whenever and however you want it. What if you had to work for your food every day? What if you had to put a certain amount of effort into certain tasks before you could be reyoung woman holding two puzzle pieces in front of her face. warded with food, would that make food more special? And hold more value in your life? Would you appreciate it that much more?

Chances are you would appreciate the meal for which you worked so hard more than one that you receive everyday as a matter of routine.  And the same goes with people.

If we have to work to be either friends with someone and/or boyfriend/ girlfriend, then we value those relationships because we had to work for them. Thus, people and things become valued in direct proportion to the effort it takes to achieve their friendship. For both men and women, this is about the excitement and joy of the chase.

The first step to achieving this valuable persona is to create a valuable life for yourself.

1. Create a valuable life:

The first step in challenging any woman is to increase the value of your own life. First and foremost, enjoy your life as much as you can. Because if you’re not enjoying it, people can tell.

Women, in particular, are very quick to pick-up on non-verbal cues. It’s one of their strengths in communication.

If you want women to be interested in you and curious about your life, then you need to be interested in yourself.

The more valuable you seem to her, the more attracted she will be to you.

2. Leave a little mystery:

Restraint is one of the hardest, yet beneficial, things in building attraction. If you take your time in the build-up, the teasing, the getting to know one another in any relationship, the pay-off is much greater.

You want to be mysterious to keep a girl interested and keep her coming back for more information on you.

You can leave a little mystery by not explaining yourself too thoroughly and/or qualifying your actions. Nor should you reveal too much about yourself too soon. Think of it as a gradual release of information.

To repeat, don’t reveal too much too soon. You want to make her work for the details about you just as you don’t want her to give up anything too quickly.

Being mysterious can take on many forms, one of which is easily done through texting. To be mysterious, you can delay your response time.  You can elude to that fact that you were hanging out with a friend(s). One of whom could be a female. Who knows.

Not divulging your entire life story and every character in that story will compel a curiosity in her to know these things, which is why our next step in so important and helpful in pulling her in.

woman on the ground grabbing a man by the ankle

3. Give her space:

Give her enough space to wonder what you’re doing and to miss you. Your life should never revolve around someone else. It’s really important to understand that. Because once you create a valuable life for yourself, you become, to women, a most desirable man. And they will work to be a part of that life, to share in that value.

Women typically are not attracted to someone who smothers them with attention right from the get go. That is with compliments, physical affection or emotional attachment. If you shower a woman with this type of affection too early on, she will feel drowned, and this is a recipe for disappointment.

There is a saying about too much of a good thing, and this applies to the beginnings of relationships. There is another saying about slow and easy wins the race.

Constant affection is fine in a long-term relationship; however, we are not there yet. It takes time to achieve this level of comfort.

In the beginning, by showing the right amount of interest, you build the foundation for a long, lasting relationship, which leads us to our next point.

3. b. Give her space, even when she hasn’t asked for it:

Giving her space, even when she hasn’t asked for it.  This is crucial because you are creating a valuable life for yourself.

Be busy with other activities and people, just not too busy. Occupy your time when you aren’t with your crush with other people, activities, with things that you enjoy doing. Remember that you have to have a life to share before you can invite a woman to share it with you.

It’s tempting to want to spend all of your time with someone that you’re really starting to like and get to know, but giving her space to allow her feelings to catch up to yours will be very beneficial in the end, I promise.

4. Show the RIGHT amount of interest:

While it is important to keep yourself engaged in your own life, it is also important to show the right amount of interest to keep her attention. There is a special push and pull in relationships that really skyrockets attraction and your desire for someone. And that is, you need to push her to want you. You show interest in her and get her interested in you and then once you see that she is gaining interest in you, you ever so slightly pull away. And then, when you have her working for your attention more, you give into her pursuit of you.

young couple. man behind the woman kissing her cheek

Showing her the right amount of interest is finding a balance between ignoring her and smothering her. Both extremes turn women off, not on. And once you have found that sweet balance between being attainable and unattainable, you have flipped the script and your initial pursuit of a girl will now have her chasing you.

The goal is to challenge her without being manipulative, fake or untrue to yourself. I’m not trying to make you play head games, I’m simply trying to help you to create the highest level of attraction between you and a girl that makes it so you aren’t doing all the work.

So if you can implement these four things into your dating regimen, then you will be well on your way to creating some serious attraction and desire in any woman.

Until next time,

Kate.

About Kate Spring

Kate Spring is a men's dating & attraction coach from Vancouver, Canada. A recognized leader in helping men become irresistible to women, Kate works with clients from around the world, helping them to get the girl they want, and the relationship they deserve.
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