man and woman talking and laughing

How to Talk to Women

Are you tired of bombing when it comes to talking to women? It’s extremely important that you master the conversation part of dating if you want to build attraction with any woman.

I have three very easy steps for you to consider when talking to women. It might surprise you at how easy these steps are.

Here are three things to remember when you’re talking to a woman face to face:

1. Listen

2. Be Present

3. Be Fun/ Positive

1. Listen

The first thing to remember when you’re talking to a woman is to actually listen to what she says. I know this might sound obvious, but it is important to really listen to what a woman says to you.

It’s so easy to get distracted when you’re talking to someone you like. Your own thoughts can even distract you so much that you completely tune out what your crush is saying. The best way to talk to a woman is to have a genuine interest in her. And that means to ask her questions about herself, listen to those answers, and form your conversation from the information she gives you.

man and woman on a coffee dateBeing an engaged listener means that you hold eye contact. Nothing says sketchy quite like a guy who cannot hold eye contact for more than a few seconds. If your eyes are darting around the room looking at everything and everyone that moves, your crush will get the feeling that you’re not interested in her and that you have some place else you’d rather be.

When you’re an engaged listener, you will never run out of things to say.

Women respond very well to someone who holds eye contact and listens. It makes them feel important and interesting.

Women don’t care about how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, or what famous people you have met. Women care about how you make them feel. And, well, if they care about how much money you make, then they aren’t the woman with whom you should be spending your time.

By making a woman feel important, you also make her want to spend more time getting to know you as well.

And the more you get to know her, the more you will have to talk about

2. Be Present

The second way to become better at talking to women is to be present. Don’t think about how you’re going to get her phone number, if you should kiss her at the end of a date, or if you can get her to come home with you.

Thinking about the future takes you out of the moment. Doing this also means a couple of things: One, it means that you are not present and subsequently not listening, and, two, when you’re worried about the future outcome of your life, you invite anxiety into your world. But when you are present and engaged in the moment, you are content and calm.

Don’t fixate on trying to steer the conversation in a certain direction. Through listening and being engaged with what she is saying, you will allow the conversation to flow naturally and you could be pleasantly surprised at where the conversation might end up.

“Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment…Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life- and see how life starts suddenly to start working for you rather than against you.” -Eckhart Tolle

The thing about allowing yourself to be in the moment is that you need to remember to relax. Be present. Remember the point of power is the present.

3. Be Fun/ Positive

The third thing to remember when talking to women is to be positive. Talk about happy things and not depressing topics. Keep the conversation light and upbeat for when you’re first getting to know someone.

There is nothing more unattractive than a negative person who starts every sentence with, “You know what I hate?” This pessimistic personality is no fun to be around. You want to be the type of person that leaves conversations on a high note.

To avoid being a barnacle betty, avoid topics like exes, recent terrorist attacks, politics, and religion. Just think of those topics that aren’t typically allowed at the dinner table at Thanksgiving dinner and avoid them.

Try to keep the conversation light and funny. I’m not saying that you have to memorize a bunch of jokes beforehand, but keeping the topics light is important for when you’re first getting to know someone.

young couple having a picnic on the beach

In conclusion, learning how to talk to women is learning how to be an active listener. And learning to listen takes practice.

Thankfully, learning how to talk to women can be practiced on people that you interact with daily. It doesn’t just have to be women with whom you want to sleep.  So remember to listen, and ask questions based on the information she gives you. Be present, and don’t worry about the outcome of your interaction. And, lastly, be positive and have fun. If you’re not having fun with what you’re doing, you’re doing it wrong.

So relax and remember these three steps the next time you’re talking to women. And, remember, women, well, people in general, love to talk about themselves. The more you can get them to talk about themselves the easier it will be to maintain a conversation. And, on the plus side, she will feel important with how engaged in the conversation you are.

About Kate Spring

Kate Spring is a men's dating & attraction coach from Vancouver, Canada. A recognized leader in helping men become irresistible to women, Kate works with clients from around the world, helping them to get the girl they want, and the relationship they deserve.
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