Are you happy with who you’re with right now?
Let’s be straight with each other. Are you really happy with who you are with? Does this person make you feel happy, everyday, without fail? Does the thought of he or she bring a smile to your face? Or does the thought of your partner scare you, make you feel depressed, or even make you want to cry. [RELATED: How To Get Over A Breakup]
If you answered yes to any of those, there’s a good chance that you’re in an abusive relationship. I’m not talking about physical abuse, I’m talking about abuse in general. Abuse can be emotional, mental, spiritual, or physical. There is more than one way to bring somebody down.
But first, let me walk you through a common timeline: you meet your future boyfriend or girlfriend for the first time. Everything is happy and the romance is stronger than ever. But after a while, things began to change. You don’t really know what happened or why, but the attitude of your partner began to change vastly. He or she begins to make you feel fearful, sad, depressed, and generally unwell.
It begins affecting your life in other ways. You notice that you can’t eat as much, you notice that you’re generally unhappy with your work or school, and you notice yourself becoming more and more alone.
And even worse, you might consider taking drastic measures to “end the pain.”
Listen. You’re not alone. And the first step is to recognize that you are in an abusive relationship.
How can you tell? Here are some pointers:
1.) Your partner gets mad at you for irrational reasons – are you doing something that just gets your partner extremely aggravated for no reason? Does this person begin insulting you because of it? This is a sure sign you’re in an abusive relationship.
2.) Your partner begins controlling almost every aspect of your life – yes, believe it or not, but sometimes if your partner doesn’t let you do certain things in life, it means they’re abusing you. Is your partner forcing you to stay home? Is your partner trying to control every single person you’re talking to?
3.) Your partner lies to you often, even about little things – people who are abusive are often liars. Is you partner lying to you even about little things?
4.) You feel like you’re always doing something wrong – or maybe you just feel guilty all the time. If you feel scared because you’ve always felt like you’re doing something wrong when it comes to your partner, then maybe this sort of guilt is an indicator that you’re being mistreated.
5.) You friends and family tell you that you’re being mistreated – I would never listen to an outsider about my own relationship… unless they were right. If your friends or family are intervening and telling you that you’re being mistreated, maybe they’re right.
6.) You’re scared of your partner – does he or she get violent from time to time? Obviously, if your partner is physically hurting you, then that is just plain abuse right there.
This list is obviously not conclusive, but hopefully one of these will indicate whether or not you’re in an abusive relationship or not.