Make that long distance relationship easier!

5 Tips For A Workable Long Distance Relationship

Being in a long distance relationship can be extremely difficult, but if both sides are willing to make the effort, long distance relationships can really, really pay off! And if both parties work hard enough, it could potentially make your relationship even stronger.  

Yes, there’s that old saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” It’s totally true. If you two are really into each other and you both take the proper measures to make it work, you two will be better off. Count on it.

Man and woman talking long distance

Make a communication schedule with your partner!

Being a relationship counselor, I encounter a lot of couples struggling to make long distance relationships work.

And in my line of work, I’ve seen people try almost everything to resolve the issues that arise, so I know what works and what doesn’t.

So here are some proven tips that will ensure that you and your partner maintain a strong, healthy bond even though you are physically apart!

1. Make Sure There Is an End In Sight

Unless you two want to have a cyber relationship for the rest of your lives (no offence if you’re into that sort of thing), you’re going to have to first talk about when the whole “distance thing” is going to end.

Talk about your end goal and keep that in mind as you move forward. Use this as your motivation. Envision how good it’s going to feel once you two achieve your goals apart and then finally reunite!

Talk about this time with your partner and tell him or her how excited and happy you’ll feel once this moment comes.

Texting in long distance relationship

Don’t be afraid to let your partner know that you miss them!

2. Trust, Trust, Trust

It’s pretty cliché, right? And it goes without saying, sure, but during my time as a relationship counselor, I’ve seen couples say they trust each other, but fail to actually put that trust into practice.

Okay, first I have to say it’s natural to feel jealous. It’s okay to feel possessive. I’m possessive over my cat and my laptop computer!

And there’s nothing you can do or say to make me automatically lose that emotion. It’s what you do with that emotion that makes a difference here.

Trusting someone means giving them space when they need it. Constantly pestering each other will only cause arguments and disagreements, and trust me when I say that having an argument over the phone or over e-mail can sometimes be much, much worse than having one in real life.
You want to avoid these disagreements as much as possible — the integrity of your long-distance relationship depends on it.

So the next time you feel jealous, instead of asking him or her, “What did you do last night? Were you with another girl/guy? Just don’t. Instead, turn this emotion into something positive and tell your partner that you’ve missed them.

3. Schedule Times to Communicate with Each Other

Technology has come a long way. Imagine trying to have a long distance relationship with someone over snail mail:

“Back in the good old days, we’d actually have to write a letter by hand and send it through snail mail. It would take months to send one letter across the ocean!”  — My dad.

We live in a pretty amazing time in which we can Skype and FaceTime each other for free. So take advantage of these technologies and make sure you two get your fix every couple of days.

When you do communicate, make sure you talk about everything together. Don’t be afraid to talk about mundane, day-to-day stuff. By talking about almost everything, you immerse each other in your respective lives.

Couple planning to visit one another

Visit each other. Do it.

4. Schedule Visits

Yes, this is one of the most important steps. Make time for some visits. Now, I have no idea how far you two will be apart or how much time and money you have to make this happen, but if this person is worth it, you’ll make it work.

Physical contact is so important in a relationship, and in fact, studies show that physical contact may be the basis of attraction, so capitalize on this info!

And make these reunions mean something. Make sure your time is spent well and that these reunions are hotYes, sex is extremely important during these times, so make sure you have great sex (and a lot of it!).

5. Talk About Your Future Together

Yes, remember Step One and keep the end goal in mind! Motivation is the key to victory here, so talk about how incredible it will be once your time apart is finished.

Talk about what you two will do together. Talk about where you will go. Talk about the little things like which restaurants you’ll go to. Or talk about how amazing it will feel once you can hold each other’s hands again.

Every relationship counselor on the planet will tell you that communication is key to success when it comes to any relationship, and long distance is no exception!

So keep these 5 things in mind when coping with your long distance relationship – and don’t be afraid to send this article to your partner to read as well!


About Jessica Raymond

Jessica Raymond, BSc, RCC, is LoveLearnings senior editor. As a relationship counselor, Jessica has helped hundreds of men and women achieve their relationship dreams. Whether it’s finding your one true love or simply charming someone on a date, Jessica's got your back! In her articles, she reveals little-known, psychological tips that will make even the coldest person chase you around like a little puppy.
17 replies
  1. Susanna
    Susanna says:

    Hi Brad, my boyfriend is in university 2 hrs away first year and I am in my last year of high school. We talked about plans for the future before the summer and everything was beautiful until he went to university. Suddenly, he had no time for me and I always felt taken for granted. Our in-person dates are always fun, but he says small moments like this aren’t the whole picture. Then he continues to say that my first relationship shouldn’t be too serious, when he was the one who said he’d like to have kids with me in the future and made a bucket list of things we wanted to do together. He is also a horny guy, so I think he wants to get action without feeling guilty of having a gf while at uni. I’ve initiated NC right that day, and he messaged and called me if I was okay that night which I ignored. At this point, I don’t even know if there is any fixing. I really love him and I’m sure he feels the same. But he likes to follow logic, not his heart; and logic is that we shouldn’t be a couple though he did want to remain friends.

    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      It looks like life is taking you in two different directions at this stage, especially with College and what it entails. So whatever the case may be, act responsibly yet try not to take things too seriously for now since you may be in a period of growth and lots of changes, including preferences in attitude, personality, etc. Focus on your studies instead, all right? If you’d want to still try to get him back, though, then watch this to help you out, though: How To Get Your Ex Back In A Long Distance Relationship Take care!

  2. Anon
    Anon says:

    Hi. Please help me it’s urgent. My boyfriend and I have been dating since school that is 2 years back. But after like 4 months of our relationship I graduated n had to move. So I ended up in anew city and as he is a junior he stayed behind. There were complications and we broke up few times until he broke up with me for a different girl. But they lasted for like a week and after that we met n stayed together for few days(no sex). Again I went back to the city I was living in. After that we broke up again for whatever reason. After 5 months we patched up. Everything was fine until he was caught up with a girl from his class.. But this girl had a boyfriend so my guy called quit with her. Now we are together again to start everything fresh. Even I’ve told him I’d forgive him but from time to time I keep asking about the girl and I learned that they were really close together. For the two weeks they were even living together with sex involved. And now he is acting weird. I asked him and he told me that he feels guilty to me and that he needs time to be alone and stuff. What am I supposed to do? Cause he said he doesn’t like it when I keep asking about all these and he feels unworthy to have me. He said even I will be thinking about this only so.. But why did he decide to patch up with me in the first place? Is it because he felt he loved me but when we patched up did he realise I was not the one he was looking for anymore? I feel like I can’t even compare our love anymore with the love they had cos they had sex so they must be really connected n stuff right? I feel like the 2 years we were together is nothing now.. compared to the 2 weeks he was with her..What should I do? He said he needs time to think.. does this mean he is totally in love with that girl? And if I wait and later on he still is confused.. what should I do ? I really love him and I’ve forgiven him.. even if I need to I’ll stop asking questions about them.. pls help

  3. Raju
    Raju says:

    Hi Brad! I hope you are dong well 🙂 We appreciate all the tips you give – helps a lot. Keep it up!
    Ok here’s my story – My ex-girlfriend and I broke up about 6 months ago. We were together for about 6 months and we one day she suddenly decideds that we cannot be together anymore and she says – “it’s not you, it’s me”, “you are a gem, but I can’t be with you anymore” etc etc…She had told that we can be friends and I had agreed. After about a month she said we are still dating and we don’t have to name it as a “relationship” or anything serious. In time she ignores me multiple times sating she’s busy, got too much to look into, and she again says she cannot be in a relationship anymore. She had plans of leaving for another county for studies, and I told her that we can work on long distance for I truely love her! She says – she’s done with feelings and relationships, and we can stay friends only. I disagreed to friendship and she gets emotional for my decision to not be friends. I try my best to move on, I’ve also told her that I cannot be friends with her becuase I love her more than that and being friends is just hurting and I cannot talk to he anymore. And she calls and texts again, I’m working towards moving on and becoming better and stronger working through this break-up and hurt. But she still texts and a few days ago she says “not to stop talking to her”. I mean, I’ll move mountains for this girl to work on long distance, but I cannot be friends. Now in the next 2 months, she’s actually moving to another country for further studies. I’m certainly going to miss her, but I don’t know what to do here….I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again….Do you think I should meet her before she leaves? I really am happy that she’s going to study further and i want to be there to support her. You got any tips for me? do you think I should be friends while she’s away? I keep thinking that I’ll stay friiends for now, but it probably die down intime while she’s away….Help me out here….

    Thanks for all your help!
    Be blessed

    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Thanks! Sorry to hear that. You should know better by now that she’s lying about the breakup, right? Here, watch this: What Your Ex Mean When They Said “It’s Me, Not You”…(Or Any Common Breakup Excuse). At this point, it’s important to give each other space and let her miss you, first. Bring your ex into an emotional neutral state by employing the 30-day “no contact” rule — let your ex miss you. Watch this particular post here: How to Make Your Ex Obsess Over You (New for 2017!). In order to fully understand how this concept works, watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you than otherwise, at

      • Raju
        Raju says:

        Thank you for your reply, Brad!
        However now she’s made it clear that she cannot be in a relationship. She wants to be friends and asks me not to stop talking to her. How can I carry on with things hereafter to keep this going? She’s leaving the country soon. Working on the 30 days NCR. But, sooner intime, I don’t know if I’ll be able to see her. That’s why all this is so confusing! I hope you understand.

        Thanks again man:D
        Take care.

        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          You have to be on top of your game, man. The thing with exes, especially the one whose idea is to break the relationship, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch and you best not respond unless it’s about something important. Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You.

  4. Halo
    Halo says:

    Hi Brad, I’ve been dating this girl for two years online, we loved each other, we sent some love letters each other.. and I tried to visit her in real life but I had a refused visa, and again we went through good moments and suddenly she changed, plus people started to change her mind to break up and she did it. Whenever I ask her to talk to me on the telephone or a video call, she avoids it, and finally, she found an excuse to break up with me then blocked me definitely from Facebook and other sites where we met, is there any possibility she adds me back after a period of time? or do you think it’s time for me to move on Brad?

  5. Surveen
    Surveen says:

    Hi brad!!How r u???jus started watching ur videos…n m loving it..!!I jus starting talking to guy through video call he is in another country..i jus feel very positive&refreshed talking to him…n i feel we should be together…m in a very initial stage of talking with him…i really want to know is there any way i can attract him towards me??in a positive way???what r the do”s n don’ts?

    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      The answer is time and getting to know this person better. Let things happen naturally and things between you grow, as you get to know each other more. Now I know you can get easily carried away in the initial stages, but try to meet up with the guy before further emotionally investing in him, okay? 🙂 Make sure you stay busy in other things in your life as well to keep things i balance. Good luck!

  6. keerthi
    keerthi says:

    Hi brad myslf breakup with my girl two days before ..and now she is finally moving on…she once loved me so truly..but she is so strong about her desicion …she already have been in such situtation which she took like this type of desicion….finally…..!
    We two were together were in true relationship….2 or 3 months before…just after that….before few days …before …she breakup with me….and she is finally moving on….reason for that is she felt like iam pressuring her in al point..
    She is so strong in her desicion…once she took it wont be change again….
    Help me brad to get ma ex or love back to me……we are in long distance relation…she is so far from me….so so far…i want evrythng to get work out..plzz…give me few tips and ideas….
    Iam 24 and and my ex is 20… age….she loved me so sincerely…

    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Keerthi! Getting an ex back is a gradual process, so there’s no one-action solution for everything. Okay? The “no contact” phase is a good start, so do that first if you haven’t yet. If you have. then I’m glad you’ve completed it. There are two more phases to go with a few other steps in between. What I’m trying to say here is it’s a 3-phase process, and it’s a bit complicated to explain it all on here, but I made an overview in the hopes of making people understand, so watch it here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) or read my guide for the entire process. Good luck!

  7. ajay
    ajay says:

    I am in a long distance relationship for 2 years I love her soo much and she also does but she is worried about the age difference between us its 10 years n says her friends always say her that so always tfues to make iisues coz of this what shall i do please tell me please I am in very much big tention please help me


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