woman in love

What Women Look For In A Man

For some reason, there’s a general lack of knowledge amongst men when it comes to the characteristics women want in a boyfriend or husband. Some guys even seem to think this is a closely-guarded secret.  In actual fact, though, there’s really no mystery at all — almost all girls find a certain set of characteristics to be extremely attractive and desirable in a man.

What, exactly, are these character traits that the ladies lust after?  What do you need to do to be every girl’s dream guy?  Well, here are 12 characteristics you’ll want to demonstrate if you’re going to show the ladies that you’re “Mr Perfect”…  [RELATED: How To Pick Up Girls – The Scientific Method of Doing It!]

Show The Ladies That…

1.)  You are a confident leader.  Women are naturally attracted to men in positions of power.  There’s a reason why all the girls in your high school wanted to sleep with the star quarterback of the football team and not the backup kicker.  There’s a reason why women chase after the leader singer of a rock band and not the guy sweeping up the stage after a show.  The ability to lead and be powerful is one of the most effective aphrodisiacs.  [RELATED: 8 Ways To Look & Act Confident Around Girls]

perfect man2.)  You don’t let others affect or alter your reality – especially on an emotional level.  Attractive women are used to seeing men become emotionally flustered in their presence, so when they encounter a guy who is completely unaffected by them, they can’t help but notice.  Women have an uncanny ability to deduce how sexually needy you are, and not allowing yourself to be affected by gorgeous women shows a total lack of neediness!

3.)  You don’t care what other people think of you.  Men who don’t care about the opinions of others tend to be confident, powerful alpha males.  Watch a few action movies and you’ll usually find that the leading male character (the ‘hero’) shares this quality.  This indifference to the opinions of others goes hand-in-hand with confidence and leadership, which are both very sexy traits.

4.)  You’re handsome.  Just like a lot of women, many guys in relationships “let themselves go” and stop doing the little things needed to maintain their appearance.  Being clean and stylish and does wonders for creating attraction, especially if you already possess some of the other traits in this list. (Check out the article on how to be more handsome for some starter hints!)

woman lusting over man5.)  You know how to provoke a positive emotional response in women.  In other words, you know how to have fun and make the ladies laugh.  You know that song “girls just wanna have fun”?  There’s some truth to that.  If you ask a woman what she looks for in a man, there’s a very good chance that she’ll probably say “humor”.  You don’t have to turn into a stand-up comedian overnight, but you should know how to show a girl a good time.

6.)  You’re not needy and you don’t ask for handouts.  You are culturally, mentally, and emotionally rich… and you are a selfless giver to the ones you love.  It takes a lot for someone to get into your “good books,” and you never ask for money or love.  You’re a high-value dude who doesn’t need any handouts to get where you’re going in life. 

7.)  You are intelligent and talented.  You have passions and interests that extend beyond video-games and beer pong. Women are attracted to men that have skills and talents. Maybe you can paint, play the violin, or write poetry.  Maybe you can run marathons or bench press a house.  What your talents are isn’t the important thing – it’s that you have them to begin with.

8.)  You are social.  You’ve got a ton of friends and you’re well-known and well-liked by others. You love your friends and treat them with respect.  You can make new friends without much difficulty, and you don’t surround yourself with losers or low-value people. [RELATED: How To Talk To A Girl]

9.)  You have goals.  You’re ambitious and hard-working. No self-respecting woman wants a lazy, unmotivated boyfriend.  You know what you want from life and what your goals are, and you’re working towards achieving them.  You don’t have to shoot for the stars — even deciding you’re going to make something new and exotic for dinner and then following through with it can be very attractive.

man with girl on couch10.)  Other women want you.  When a woman sees that you’re surrounded by and/or wanted by other attractive ladies, she’s going to immediately assume you’re pretty awesome.  It’s called “pre-selection”.  In other words, if a girl sees other women chasing after you, she’ll assume you’re an alpha male and join in chasing after you as well.

11.)  You’re always comfortable to be around. You aren’t constantly stressed out about your life.  You’re always cool, calm, and collected.  You usually have a calm and relaxed demeanor about yourself.  You don’t cause unnecessary drama or become flustered over small things. (Can you think of a time when James Bond ever gets flustered or stressed?  Never — and he’s as sexy as they come!)

12.) You are a manly man, but you also have a sensitive side.  Yes, for the most part you are a man’s man, and you get what you want.  You’re strong (emotionally and physically), but you’re also not afraid to show some vulnerability.  By showing the world that you’re not a robot, you make yourself more likeable and more approachable.

Putting It All Together

So… Are these 12 characters traits an exhaust list?  Are they the only things that women look for in a man?

Of course not. All women are different. However, the traits I outlined above are typically universally accepted as desirable character traits, so if you want to make yourself as attractive as possible to the opposite sex, then these 12 things would be a great start.


About Jessica Raymond

Jessica Raymond, BSc, RCC, is LoveLearnings senior editor. As a relationship counselor, Jessica has helped hundreds of men and women achieve their relationship dreams. Whether it’s finding your one true love or simply charming someone on a date, Jessica's got your back! In her articles, she reveals little-known, psychological tips that will make even the coldest person chase you around like a little puppy.
2 replies
  1. Lindsey
    Lindsey says:

    Although, I have a boyfriend. But this will help you identify what women like to see in a man.
    1. Be yourself, most women love that being themselves means that there going to true man.
    2. Women into two months relationship, if they go too fast, men slows them diwn, thats showing them they want to be together for a long time.
    3. Respect… it’s 99.9% of womens attention. If your not
    respecting a woman, they would think your not worth it.
    4. They like to talk about their future, kids and house. They want to see if you agree, then thats what they like to see in you.
    5. Inside the gentle, outside rhe rainbow. Careness and worrPERF! Everyone is not E

  2. Fredderik Holland
    Fredderik Holland says:

    Seems like everything you’re talking about describes the perfect alpha male. However, in my experience, I find that there are some women who go for more effeminate men. How do you explain this?


Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *