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How To Fix A Sexless Marriage

February 4, 2019/0 Comments/in Marriage /by Brad Browning

In a sexless marriage? I’m going to tell you how to navigate through this very frustrating problem.

If you’re in this situation, you’re not alone. There are many sexless marriages out there.

In fact, some couples therapists claim that about 20-30% of marriages are sexless.

But lucky for you, there are some strategies that you can use right now to re-ignite that spark that you have with your spouse.

How Much Sex Does A Marriage Need?

First, we have to determine how much sex is enough.

Every person is different and everyone has “their number” that will make them happy.

But a University of Toronto study found that sex once a week led to a more intimate and loving marriage.

Any MORE than that didn’t have an impact on the marriage.

However, any LESS than once a week or so led to a significant decline in marital happiness.

How To Fix Your Sexless Marriage

So how do we fix this problem? I’ll break it down into a few short tips.

1. Communicate with your spouse

You don’t want to turn this into an argument because it will further push your spouse away. But you’ll want to approach the topic in a loving and caring way. Yes, this will feel a little awkward, but it’s important to let your spouse know that this is a concern that you have.

2. Make sex a priority

If you want to have sex again, then it has to be on both of your minds moving forward – even if you have busy lives.

That means setting time aside for you and your partner to relax and enjoy each other again in a quiet and intimate setting.

3. Escalate slowly

You don’t want to try and jump into sex right away after bringing it up. You don’t want sex to feel like work or a service – you want to have sex because you both want to be intimate!

You can graduate to sex soon, but for now… maybe just let your partner know that you just want to kiss him or her tonight, and that’s it. No pressure to do anything more. Sex should feel natural!

4. Try and have FUN

I know, that’s the whole point of sex. It’s time to ask your spouse what would turn them on.

Do they have any new desires or fetishes?

Now’s the time to explore and get to know your spouse in the most intimate ways WITHOUT judgement.

So plan fun play dates, maybe go sex toy shopping and be adventurous. Again, let your partner know that there’s no pressure to have sex at any point.

5. Stop watching porn

Studies have shown that porn does have negative effects on sexual psychology. In fact, I know some men, for example, who can’t even achieve an erection with their spouse unless they watch porn beforehand. Cutting out porn from your lives will increase your desire to have sex with each other.

6. Stop pleasuring yourself

This one’s pretty self-explantory, but it’s easier said than done. Lowering the frequency of masturbation, or cutting it out entirely, will help you and your spouse get back into the sack! I promise!

7. Work out

Keeping fit will not only help you look better (and be more sexually pleasing to look at), but it will also release hormones that will make you want bang your partner’s brains out. So plan some couples activities that involve exercise.

8.) Don’t put pressure on it

If you have sex and one of you doesn’t finish, it isn’t a big deal. Putting sex on the pedestal can make it even more difficult to get back into the thick of things. Just relax and have fun with no expectations.

9.) Consider medical help

Erectile Dysfunction and other sorts sexual ailments have a compounding effect on one’s desire to have sex. Seek help from a doctor if you think this is the case for you.

10.) Look at other parts of your relationship

If you and your partner both have stopped having sex, it could be an indicator that there are underlying problems with your relationship. If you think that this problem runs deep… then consider watching my free video presentation. You’ll be glad you did.

How to Confront Your Cheating Spouse

January 3, 2019/0 Comments/in Marriage /by Brad Browning

You want to know how to confront your cheating spouse.

If you’re reading this, then I’m sorry.

Being cheated on is maybe one of the most difficult things anyone can go through. You feel betrayed, angry, sad… maybe even worthless and depressed. But as bad as things feel right now, just know that this isn’t your fault – there are almost no good reasons to cheat in a marriage.

But now you’re lost and confused and you don’t know how to approach this situation. I’m going to tell you how to find out the truth and call them out.

Confronting a Cheating Spouse

I wish there was an easy answer to this question, but unfortunately, there really isn’t. I’d love to come up with a simple 3-step solution like I usually do, but with something as difficult and complex as this, there really is no exact blueprint.

Is your spouse really cheating?

But first things first… before moving forward on confronting your spouse, you need to be almost 100% sure that they are actually cheating. I know that doing this is really difficult, and again, there are no easy answers.

But what you DEFINITELY do not want to do is do anything that would invade your spouse’s privacy. So no hacking into their phones or email, no following them around, and no calling their friends to make sure they are where they say they are.

This kind of behaviour is not honest, and honesty is key to maintaining a happy marriage.

A marriage should be fundamentally built on trust – and if you get caught trying to snoop around in your spouse’s life, this trust will be broken and you will have an entirely different issue on your hands.

In order for you to be as sure as you can… here are some things to look for that will help you first find out if your spouse is in fact cheating.

1.) Has your relationship declined?

Have you noticed that your spouse becoming more distant? Are they more apt to start fights? How’s your sex life? How often do you spend one on one time together?

If you’ve noticed any of this change, it may be an indicator that your spouse might be interested in someone else.

2.) Have you observed any unusual behaviour?

One of the most telling signs that your spouse is cheating on you is how they treat their phone.

Have you noticed them fleeing to another room to answer phone calls?

Are they very secretive when it comes to texting?

When you ask them to use his or her phone, do they act strange?

If they’re freaking out about their privacy surrounding their phone, this could be a strong indicator that they may be unfaithful to you (or at least talking to someone that they shouldn’t be talking to).

3.) Watch your finances.

Has your spouse been spending a lot of money on something? If so, ask them about it.

It’s not rude or wrong to ask why your spouse has been spending so much lately. If their reasons for spending more seems off, this could be another indicator that they’re cheating.

4.) If your spouse isn’t with you, ask them where they are.

Again, it’s not rude to want to know where your spouse is. Write down where they are and when and try and connect the dots… is that place even open? Are they coming up with the same excuses all the time?

You might unearth some strange patterns by asking them this simple question.

WARNING: Even if these four conditions are satisfied, it doesn’t mean they are for sure cheating on you. But confirming that your spouse is behaving in a peculiar way is the first step to learning more about their potential infidelities.

Of course, there are other, more drastic ways to find out if your spouse is cheating. It’s not uncommon to hire a private investigator, but again, it’s tough to recommend.

This can be a huge betrayal whether or not they are cheating. If you’re feeling desperate, then this is a potential option to explore.

What’s your next step?

Now if you’re absolutely sure that your spouse is cheating on you (or you’re as sure as you can be), now comes the very difficult question of what to do about it. But before we get into it, we have to suss out your goals here first.

If you DO find out that your spouse is indeed cheating, do you intend to stay with him or her?

Would you leave the marriage?

Are you 100% certain that whatever you decide to do is the correct course of action?

Click here and take my free quiz to evaluate your current situation and find out whether you’ll be able to fix your marriage.

If you’re still reading then I’m going to assume that you’re wanting to confront your spouse about the cheating in such a way won’t burn any bridges… so that’s exactly what I’ll teach you today.

Now, I know this is going to be difficult, but first things first, I recommend that need to approach this with a calm mindset. I know, this is easier said than done. But you need to know that your spouse, when confronted, will act angry, defensive, and emotional at first.

They will probably lie, deny the infidelity, and tell you that you’re being crazy. And you have to be ready for this reaction and respond without escalating the situation. Try following my tips to stop fighting with your spouse.

Instead, know exactly what you’re going to say before entering the conversation, and expect a fiery response in turn. I also recommend talking in a non-accusatory tone of voice when speaking to your spouse.

As much evidence as you may have, there may always be a chance that there’s a misunderstanding. Give them a chance to prove you wrong.

Remember: all you want to know is the truth.

Don’t be overly aggressive, don’t yell, and don’t lash out and say anything that you’ll later regret. Do your best to keep your body language, voice, and emotions in check.

Catching them in a lie

But if you know your spouse is a good liar, it’s better to approach the situation in a more roundabout way. Right now, you have the upper hand. You know that something might be up. So instead of straight up accusing your spouse directly, try to ask questions to force them to lie about something.

Because once your spouse KNOWS that you’re on to them, they’re going to take extra steps to conceal their behaviour… and eventually if they’re sneaky enough, they’ll be able to cover their infidelity completely and you may never know the truth.

So instead of jumping in with two feet, it’s best to go about this strategically.

For example, if your spouse said that they were at the pub last night, and you have a sneaking suspicion that they weren’t, ask them which pub they went to.

Then say your best friend was also there all night long too. After, observe how your spouse reacts. Do they begin to panic? Or are they calm?

If you catch them in a lie, this is the time to calmly accuse them of cheating. But if you’re unsure, then continue probing them.

Over a long period of time, you could also ask them the same questions over and over and see if they change their answers.

For example, if they’re staying long hours after work, keep asking them why they’re staying at the office late. And keep doing this once or twice a week and make note of what they say.

Liars tend to give long, drawn out explanations to conceal the truth. Often, their reasons and explanations may be inconsistent or flat out illogical. Over time, you’ll be able to build a stronger case before finally accusing them of cheating on you.

Finally, once you’ve built your case, calmly present them with the reasons why you know that they’re cheating.

Again, remember that they’re going to lash out in anger and deny everything. Instead of responding in kind, just show them the evidence. Once you both calm down, you can then talk to your spouse about why they cheated, and if it’s worth salvaging the relationship.

Make the hard choice

If your goal is to save your marriage, then the best way to recover and get over this ordeal is to ask all the questions you need to ask. You need to know why it happened and you need to calmly talk about how to prevent this from every happening to you again.

Of course, this may not be an option and you may very well indeed choose to end the marriage too. You need to decide for yourself if the marriage is worth saving or not.

Whatever you decide, think long and hard on what you want to do.

But I will say this: nobody deserves to be cheated on twice.

Again, there’s no sure-fire way to approach this situation, but the most important thing is that you find out the truth and move forward.

Top 6 Ways To Stop Fighting With Your Spouse

December 6, 2018/1 Comment/in Marriage /by Brad Browning

Arguing, fighting, bickering with your spouse… we’ve all been there.

Every married couple argues from time to time.

But when these fights get too frequent or too heated, they can be a one-way ticket to divorce.

I’m here to give you 6 simple, effective tips and techniques that will allow you to put to STOP these toxic arguments and ensure they don’t continue to damage or destroy your marriage.

6 Ways To End Arguments With Your Spouse

These 6 tactics I’m about to cover are just a starting point.

Yes, they’re all really helpful in preventing fights with your spouse, so you should start using them immediately… but for most people, this isn’t the only thing that’s contributing to your marriage problems, so you need to address any other issues as well if you want to maintain a happy marriage.

Let’s get started with one of my favorite Dispute Defusing Tactics, which I’ve mentioned in a few previous videos because it’s so effective…

Technique #1: Use The 30-Minute Rule

Angry at your spouse about something?
Ready to flip out and start screaming because of what they did or said?
Or maybe your spouse has started the conflict and you’re ready to fight back….

Well, hold up a second.
Actually, hold up 30 minutes.

Why? Well, I can’t tell you never to get into an argument with your spouse. If you disagree, if you need to stand up for something you believe is important and worth discussing with your spouse, then do it.

But before you do, wait 30 minutes. Don’t do anything special in that time–other than avoid talking about the problem with your spouse–before you begin the discussion.

That 30 minutes will often be enough time to give you some perspective and decide it’s not worth fighting over.

If you do decide to argue, that time will help you cool down and let the emotions settle so you can start the discussion in a civilized, adult manner and prevent things from getting out of hand.

It’s simple tactics like this one that will stop a divorce before it starts.

Click here and take my free quiz to evaluate your current situation and find out whether you’ll be able to fix your marriage.

Technique #2: Take a time-out

If you find yourself in a heated argument with your spouse, then the 30-minute rule isn’t really an option… but you can still take action to make sure the fight doesn’t continue to escalate.

If you’re worried that you or your spouse is going to resort to yelling or personal attacks, you’ll need a way to lessen the intensity of an argument.

A time-out is a great solution to this problem.

Basically, you just need to take a short break during a fight with your spouse to calm your nerves.

Don’t just simply walk out of the room without explanation–that might make your partner even angrier.

Instead, tell them that you need to take 10 minutes to think about things and calm down before re-engaging in a more respectful, productive discussion.

Not only will this help to calm your nerves, but this will help to calm your partner’s nerves as well.

Technique #3: Go to bed angry

The classic advice–that you should never go to bed angry at your spouse–is just totally ridiculous.

You don’t need to resolve disagreements with your spouse–that has probably been an issue for years already–in a single evening?

Or you need to stay up until 3 am arguing before you can go to bed?

No, obviously that’s a terrible idea.

Feel free to go to bed even when you’re mad at your partner, or they’re angry at you

Sleeping on things can often make the issue go away by itself, or at least give both sides some perspective and a chance to think things over.

Technique #4: Take responsibility for problems affecting your marriage

Hate being wrong? Too proud to admit you might also be part of the problem? Me too.

Trust me, I understand that it can be very tough to admit that you’re wrong about anything. When you’re in a heated argument, sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture or start focusing only on “winning” rather than the real issue at hand… or the affect the argument might have on their partner’s feelings.

Sadly, researchers have proven that the feeling of “being right” or ‘winning’ is never as satisfying as you make it out to be in your mind.

Instead of trying to win arguments with your spouse, try instead to focus on seeing things from your partner’s perspective.

Aim to come to a positive outcome of some sort, even if that means you need to swallow your pride and “lose.”

When you realize that your partner has a valid concern or that this argument is about something very important to them, you should consider letting them have this victory.

In the free video presentation on my website, I’ll teach you how you can change your spouse’s behaviour without nagging or arguing.

Easier said than done? Yes, but constantly reminding yourself to take a step back and try to see your spouse’s side–and then admit to being wrong or accept a “loss” when it’s necessary to maintain harmony in your marriage–is definitely going to help.

It’s one of the first steps to take if your marriage is in trouble. It could even save your marriage.

Technique #5: Use humour to defuse tension

As I just mentioned, it’s easy to lose yourself in the heat of the moment when you’re arguing with your significant other… and at times things can escalate and become toxic, marriage-threatening fights, even when they initially started over something very minor.

If you’re able to recognize when this is happening in an argument with your partner, humour can be the best way to defuse things and bring back some perspective.

WARNING: You should be careful using this technique when the discussion is about something serious or ongoing… or if you’re fighting over something that’s very important to your spouse… but a lot of the time, a joke or a light-hearted self-deprecating comment and a smile can really calm things down and bring back perspective.

As long as you don’t downplay the issue and make your spouse feel like you’re not taking them seriously, cracking a smile or a joke is a great way to cool things down when arguments get heated.

Technique #6: Spend positive time together

I don’t think this last one needs much explanation, because it’s pretty simple… the more you and your spouse spend time arguing, the more you need to spend quality, enjoyable time together to balance things out.

When you finish a big argument, and things have settled down, suggest something to your spouse that you do something fun together the next evening.

No need to make it a big deal, just make sure you make an effort to share some positive, romantic time with one another.

This will help you both remember what you love about one another so that the next time you argue, you’ll remember to be respectful.

“Is My Marriage Over?” (5 Signs Your Marriage Is Doomed)

October 18, 2018/0 Comments/in Marriage /by Brad Browning

If you’re worried about divorce…

if you’re wondering whether your marriage is doomed…

…or if you want to know whether there’s still hope to turn things around before it’s too late…

Keep reading.

“Is My Marriage Over?”

The 5 signs I’m going to cover below — which have been proven to indicate a marriage is headed for divorce — are based on proven science.

Researchers like Robert Levenson at the University of Washington and John Gottman of the Gottman Institute have been studying marriage psychology and relationship dynamics for years, and these 5 signals indicate a marriage that’s likely to end in divorce with an accuracy rate over 90%… which, when you think about it, is actually pretty amazing.

OK, now, let’s dive into it…

5 Signs Your Marriage Is Doomed

What are the indicators of a marriage that’s on the brink of collapse?

Sign #1: Criticism or Complaining

The first sign of trouble in a marriage is CRITICISM or COMPLAINING. Essentially, this refers to situations where one partner gets upset at the actions or behaviour of their spouse, and places the blame on them or their personality.

For instance, let’s say you aren’t really the type to help out much with housework, and rarely clean up the kitchen after dinner… If your spouse responded by saying, “you never help with the dishes. You’re such a lazy slob,” that would the type of criticism that often indicates an unhealthy marriage.

Sign #2: Defensiveness

The second sign, defensiveness, often goes hand in hand with criticism.

If we stick with the example I just mentioned, where your spouse calls you a “lazy slob,” a defensive reaction would be if you said in response, “give me a break, you’re such a mess in the kitchen.. If I cooked dinner there would barely be any dishes at all.”

In other words, defensiveness is when one spouse responds to their partner’s critical remarks by turning things around and attempting to shift the blame back on their partner.

Sign #3: Contempt

The third indicator that a marriage is heading for divorce is contempt.

Now the word “contempt” can mean a lot of things, but in this case it’s basically any time one partner has a negative opinion of their spouse, and believes themselves to be superior.

For instance, statements like “you’re a moron” or “you’re just clueless, aren’t you?” are both good examples of this sort of toxic contempt.

In fact, this type of contempt is actually what researchers believe to be the single strongest predictor of divorce. As a result, this is one that you really need to address immediately if it becomes an issue in your marriage.

Sign #4: Emotional withdrawal

Sign #4 is pretty straightforward… it’s emotional withdrawal or ‘stonewalling’.

In other words, this is where your partner simply becomes distant and doesn’t really appear to be listening or taking in what you’re saying when you try to bring up a point of contention or a complaint.

This is most often associated with men, and studies have shown that around 85% of the time it’s the male partner who is guilty of emotionally withdrawing. Sometimes, this is because men are unwilling to confront problems or accept their partner’s criticism, and sometimes more a result of his wife having unfair or unreasonable expectations or bringing up the topic in a “nagging” sort of way.

Regardless, whether it’s the man or woman who is doing the stonewalling, it’s bad news for a the future of any marriage when it happens regularly.

Sign #5: Low Ratio of Positive to Negative Interactions

Finally, let’s talk about sign #5, which tends to be actually more common among married couples that have been together for a decade or more (the other 4 that I just covered can happen at any point in a marriage, but usually begin relatively early on).

This final sign, which is also a clear indicator of a marriage in crisis, is a low ratio of positive to negative interactions with your spouse.

I know what you’re thinking…

“What the hell does that mean, Brad??”

Well, I could really expand on this one and write another 5,000 words about it… but that might put you to sleep. To summarize, though: a happy and healthy married couple has an average of 5 “positive” interactions — laughing at a joke together, complementing one another, cuddling or kissing, providing support and encouragement — for every “negative” encounter, which is things like criticizing, lying, arguing, etc.

An unhealthy marriage, on the other hand, tends to have a lot more of those “negative” encounters for every “positive” interaction.

Basically, if you and your spouse get along and enjoy one another’s company the vast majority of the time, and you only argue or get upset at one another once in a while, then your marriage has a healthy ratio of positive to negative encounters.

What This Means For Your Marriage

Unfortunately, for a lot of you reading this right now, your ratio is probably far lower than that ideal 5:1 ratio that researchers have found to be the magic number for the typical happy marriage.

Relax, though. There’s no need to panic quite yet, even if you recognized all 5 of these signs in your own marriage. For most people in this kind of troubled marriage, there’s still plenty of hope that you’ll be able to avoid divorce and dramatically improve the dynamics of your relationship before it’s too late.

How do you do that? Well, that’s a big topic that I can’t cover here, so one of my first recommendations is to register for my best-selling Mend the Marriage program, which you can try risk-free for 60 days.

The program is basically a comprehensive guide to turning your relationship around — even if your spouse is unwilling to put in the effort, or has already said they want a divorce — and it will give you a clear plan to put the marriage back on the right track. Click here to see all the details and register now to get started within the next 5 minutes…

What NOT To Do If You Want Your Marriage To Survive

Whether you decide to sign up for Mend the Marriage or not, there’s one thing you absolutely must NOT do if you want to fix your marriage and prevent divorce… and that is to do NOTHING.

Most couples wait FAR too long before they do anything about their broken marriages… and, quite frankly, things rarely get better on their own. In fact, the longer you wait to take action, the lower the chances of a happy ending for you and your marriage.

Wishing you the very best of luck!

Click here and take my free quiz to evaluate your current situation and find out whether you’ll be able to fix your marriage.

How To Please Your Husband & Keep Him Happy

October 13, 2018/1 Comment/in Marriage /by Brad Browning

Husbands can sometimes seem like a brick wall. What do they want? What are they feeling? What makes them happy?

Just because men aren’t always vocal about their desires, doesn’t mean that they don’t have needs. It just means you need to put in a little work to find out what exactly your husband’s needs are.

Know His Needs

Chances are you probably know your husband’s favorite food, band, sports team, but I’m talking about something deeper. What does he value in life? What makes him get up in the morning?

Think about how he sees the world. Is family his number one priority? Does he care about making people happy? Is he driven to be the best? These are the kinds of priorities that define your man.

These are subtle but they become obvious when you look for them. Think about the things that he always talks about. What does he come back to again and again? What gives him that glint in his eye?

Knowing this information won’t give you all the answers but it will give you insight into his personality and this is going to help you to relate to him better and make him happy.

Pinpoint what drives him. If you can support these parts of him then you’ll become truly irreplaceable.

Quick Sex Tip: Surprise him! Many relationships get stale because the woman always expects the man to initiate sex. This can lead to a rut where things are the same every time. To shake things up, try popping in on him in the shower, waking him up in an unexpected way, or sending him a sexy text when he’s at work.

Make Him Feel Valuable

Men want to know that you respect them, need them, and want them. Your husband has committed to you for life. Let him know that you appreciate it.

This can be as simple as giving him a back rub or as elaborate as surprising him with a trip to Australia. It’s not about what you do as much as it is about making that effort that will make him happy.

Let him know that you couldn’t do it without his help and he’ll feel like the alpha male he wants to be.

Be Spontaneous

One of the reasons that relationships go bad is that they’re not exciting anymore. If every day is the same you may both think that you’ve done everything possible together and seen every side of each other.

This is a dangerous way to think because it may lead to thinking that you don’t have to try anything new and you’re just running out the clock on your relationship.

Luckily, it’s not true.

Every person in the world has hidden sides that they’ve never shown to anyone else. It’s by showing these sides to one another that you reveal new depths of the relationship. The only way to do this is by trying new things and getting out of your comfort zone, together.

It can be the cliche of going skydiving or going to Paris, but it doesn’t end there. Don’t just do the obvious. Meet new people together. Travel to his hometown. Take a class. Think of something you’ve never even wanted to do and do it. Run errands together. It doesn’t need to be exciting or even enjoyable to bring you together. Life is too short to have walls between us.

Say Yes

It’s important to be agreeable. You don’t have to be a doormat but don’t shoot down his ideas, make him feel stupid, or argue just for the sake of it. You can still tease him and have those fun, flirty fights but only about stuff that isn’t actually serious.

If you’re quick to argue, take a second and consider his point of view. There’s a chance he’s right and even if he’s not, is it actually important?

A marriage is a partnership so even if you think you’re always right, he needs to feel like you value his input and that his decisions have weight to them.

Keep that in mind and try to go along with him when you can. He’ll appreciate your willingness to indulge him and you’ll be surprised where you end up.

How To Win Arguments With Your Spouse

October 4, 2018/2 Comments/in Marriage /by Brad Browning

You’re here because you want to win arguments with your spouse…

BUT…

That means you’ve already made a mistake.

If your goal is to beat them in an argument, you have the wrong mindset.

But don’t worry. I’ll teach you how you can fight smarter, not harder.

Follow these tips and you’ll learn to fight in a way that will bring you two closer together and help your marriage, rather than hurt it!

Pick Your Battles to Win Your Arguments

First off, pick your battles. This advice is as old as time. Don’t fight just for the sake of fighting. You can win all the battles and still lose the war.

We all know those couples that squabble over every little thing. Believe it or not, they weren’t always that way. They lost respect for one another over time and now they let every tiny problem turn into a massive fight.

The more you pick fights, the more your spouse will pick fights until it becomes a habit. And that’s a tough habit to break.

Communicate Honestly With Your Spouse

It’s easy to fight about something small to avoid bringing up a tough issue. But if you don’t let them know why you’re upset, it won’t change.

When you want to raise your voice or snap back in anger, take three deep breaths.

Think about what is really upsetting you. There’s a good chance it has nothing to do with your husband or wife so don’t take it out on them. Marriage comes with enough conflict without adding others on top of it.

There are plenty of real reasons for you to be upset and we’ll cover how to address those shortly.

If you find that no matter what you do, you can’t stop having huge fights with your spouse and you’re worried that you may be at the breaking point, then it’s time to get outside help.

The problem with marriage counselling is that it’s expensive. Not only that but both you and your spouse have to be willing to make an effort. My marriage coaching works a little differently.

Lose The Right Way To Your Spouse

You may feel like you’re already losing every fight with your spouse, but they probably feel the same way. The couples that have the most conflict are those where neither partner is willing to lose an argument.

They won’t back down no matter what. If this sounds like you, then you should rethink your approach.

You’re showing your spouse that you care more about being right than what you’re fighting about. This means that they’re never going to see your side of things because you’re never willing to see theirs.

So allow yourself to lose a fight now and again. If it’s something that’s not important to you, give them a win and actually apologize sincerely, don’t just sulk.

When your spouse sees you’re able to do this, they’ll be more likely to do the same and when you stand your ground, they’ll know that you’re not just doing it out of pride.

See Both Sides

One of the best ways to win an argument with your spouse is by seeing both sides of an issue.

If your spouse sees that you understand where they’re coming from, even if you don’t agree, then they’re going to be more willing to compromise.

This is why it’s really important to listen actively to what they’re saying and consider their point of view.

Here’s a scenario:

Your spouse is angry that you never take out the garbage.

Instead of telling them they’re dead wrong, you do way more housework than they do, say this:

“I can see that you’re angry that I don’t take out the garbage enough. I think I do plenty of other housework but if this is important to you, I’ll make the effort.”

See how you’ve seen their side of the argument and you’ve shown that you’re open to changing your behaviour?

Many people avoid this because they don’t want to give any ground. But notice that you haven’t had to apologize or let them win. You just addressed their concern. It’s as simple as that.

Get To The Root of The Argument

Often couples will fight about small things to avoid fighting about what is really bothering them. This is because we worry about what will happen if we address the real problems in our relationship.

When you use small problems to mask big ones it just causes confusion for both parties.

It may be easier to dance around an issue but in the long run, the earlier you can address problems, the stronger your partnership will be.

With that in mind, before coming at your spouse with some minor annoyance, look deeper and see if it’s part of a bigger pattern that you’re really responding to.

The Y Word

When you’re in a fight, avoid using the word “you”.

If you can reframe your arguments to avoid the word “you” then your fights will be less confrontational.

For example, instead of saying “You never do the laundry.” say “I don’t like that I’m the one who has to do the laundry.”

It’s a simple language trick that will take some of the fire out of your fights.

You’ll also want to avoid “never” and “always”. These are extreme words that will hurt your argument. If you say “You never listen to me.” then you’re obviously exaggerating.

They can point to three times they listened to you and destroy your argument. Instead say “I wish that you would listen to me and try to see my side of things more often.”

No you’re having a much different discussion about the exact same thing.

Stay Affectionate With Your Spouse

When fights get really bad, you may respond by being cold to your spouse. This is common and only natural. But you should try to stay kind and loving while you’re arguing. This will remind them that you’re on the same team and that you love them no matter what.

There are times when you need to spend a bit of time apart to let things cool down. If you find one or both of you keep bringing up the fight then this may be your cue to get some space from the situation. Even a walk around the block can really help both of you think more clearly.

Don’t Threaten Your Spouse

I see this every day in my work as a marriage coach. Men and women will threaten their partner with divorce over the smallest provocation and it always leads to a huge fight.

Avoid using the nuclear option unless you mean it. If you say you’re leaving them over some dirty dishes, it will look like you don’t value your marriage. Plus, if you don’t leave, then they’ll lose faith in the things you say.

Reframe Language

If you find you keep making the same point over and over, stop. Instead, use different words to say the same thing.

This may feel silly but even if it seems perfectly clear to you, changing up the language can help them understand. If you can say the same thing in several different ways then you’re more likely to get the result you want.

Mirror Your Spouse

Here’s a tip that real FBI hostage negotiators use to get the best outcomes in crisis situations.

It’s called mirroring. Basically, you say what your spouse is saying back to them in different words.

They say: “We never go out anymore.”
You say: “You’re upset that I don’t take you out on dates often enough.”

This may feel unnatural but trust me when I say that they’ll just be happy that you’re seeing their side. This shows them that you’re making the effort to understand them.

Mirroring is also about body language. Experts say that 93% of communication is non verbal.

This means that raising your voice, waving your arms around and pointing will always make things worse, no matter the words you’re saying.

This goes for your tone of voice as well. Don’t yell and never imitate their voice to try to hurt them.

Here’s how you mirror your spouse:

face your body towards them
uncross your arms to show them you’re open to their ideas and thoughts
copy the way they are standing
match their facial expressions and use similar gestures to them when you speak

This will create an unconscious connection and make them more likely to see your side. It’s that simple.

Before You Argue With Your Spouse…

If you find you’re the one who is always starting fights, before you bring up a problem with your spouse, ask yourself these three things:

Do they know how I feel about this? If you haven’t made it clear to your spouse that this is something that bothers you, then you need to let them know.
Can I live with it? If this problem is something that you can live with then you need to be willing to let the resentment go. This is the case where you know it’s something minor or you know that it’s more important to them than it is to you.
Can I change it myself? If this is something you can fix without bringing them into it then go right ahead.

If the answer to these questions is no then you should bring it up to them. Make sure you do so in a respectful manner and avoid raising your voice.

Tell them how their actions make you feel. Tell them clearly what you want them to do and why. Listen to their response and keep your cool.

There you have it. The next time you’re about to explode with anger, take a deep breath and remember these tips and you’ll get what you want without making things worse.

How To Keep Your Wife Happy

April 3, 2018/0 Comments/in Marriage /by Brad Browning

She’s your rock, your one and only, your partner in crime. But how can you show her what she means to you? How can you make sure to always be a source of happiness in her life?

Maybe your wife is already happy and you want to do your best to keep the good times rolling. Maybe your wife is unhappy either because of something you did (or didn’t do) or for reasons totally unrelated to you.

Either way, making your wife happy is the key to a healthy, long-lasting marriage. Don’t believe me?

A study by Rutgers University found that a wife’s happiness is more crucial than her husband’s in keeping the marriage on track.

Stands to reason, right? If you focus on making her happy, she’ll focus on making you happy. Then you both win.

How Keep Your Wife Happy

Let’s start with some small things you can do. The best thing about these tips is that even though they take very little time, they’re the first steps on the path towards building a better marriage.

Five Quick Ways To Cheer Up Your Wife

Maybe your wife is having a tough time right now. Even if it’s totally unrelated to you, when your wife is in a funk it takes a toll on your own feelings and on the relationship.

Instead of letting it drag you both down, take steps to cheer her up and get things back on track.

These are small things you can do right now!

1. Give Her A Call

A marriage is a partnership. You both have a lot of work you need to get done which means you have to do a lot of coordination by phone or text.

But don’t let your phone calls be all business. This is a marriage, not a corporation. You don’t want her to associate your name on call display with another errand to do.

Give her a call just to say hello! Tell her you miss her and you’re thinking about her. I guarantee it will leave her smiling.

“The Husband who calls during the day for ‘no reason at all’ discovers later in the evening a wife who is eager to give him reasons.”
-Matthew L. Jacobson

2. Buy Her Flowers

It may not be rocket science but something simple like flowers will brighten up her day more than you know. Flowers are a universal sign of love, they’ll add a pop of colour to the room, and they smell great. What’s not to like?

But most importantly, flowers will show her you’re thinking about her. Knowing that she has you on her side trying to make her happy will boost her spirits.

Remember, marriage isn’t a video game. You can’t just give her presents over and over and expect her happiness to go through the roof. But if you’re the kind of guy who rarely gives her gifts then some flowers or a necklace out of the blue will really go a long way.

3. Listen To Her

Everyone wants to feel like they’re heard and understood but some women rely on their friends and family when it comes to venting. She may be worried that you’ll find her problems boring or unimportant.

Ask her about her day and just listen to what she has to say.

Don’t try to fix her problems. It’s important that she know that she can blow off steam to you without being judged or feeling like she needs to take action.

Instead of offering solutions say, “I’m sorry that happened,” and “What can I do to help?”

This will make her feel supported.

“The relationship between husband and wife should be one of closest friends.”
-B. R. Ambedkar

4. Do Some Chores

Modern life is stressful, especially for women. They’re expected to do all the same things as men while also putting a ton of time and effort into their appearance.

If you can take a few things off her plate she’ll have time to relax. Walk the dog, clean the bathroom, make dinner. It won’t even take an hour to show her that you make her wellbeing a priority.

5. Give Her A Hug

Physical contact does wonders for health and happiness. Sex is great but nonsexual touching is as important if not moreso and there’s no danger of rejection or making her feel like you’re doing it for selfish reasons.

Hugging her, holding her hand as you walk down the street, and tucking her hair behind her ear are great ways to say “Hey, I see you.”

Take Steps To Improve Your Marriage

If your marriage is the problem, you need to make an effort to find the sources of tension in your relationship and work towards solutions.

If you don’t see eye to eye on your problems, talking to her is a good first step. Figure out what’s broken in your marriage and make a plan to fix it either on your own or as a team.

Just knowing that you’re willing to address her concerns goes a long way towards making her happy.

Fixing a broken marriage can be tricky. Here’s our guide to mending your marriage that’s sure to put a smile on your wife’s face.

“Marriage: Love is the reason. Lifelong friendship is the gift. Kindness is the cause. Til’ death do us part is the length.”
-Fawn Weaver

Keeping Your Wife Happy

Happy wife, happy life isn’t just a saying.

A 2014 study in the Journal of Marriage and Family reports that “the association between husband’s marital quality and life satisfaction is buoyed when his wife also reports a happy marriage, yet flattened when his wife reports low marital quality.”

This means that if she’s happy in your marriage, you’ll be happy.

These are steps you can take to build your wife up, raising not just her happiness, self-esteem, and satisfaction, but the quality of your marriage.

Show Her That You Care

When you got married, you made an agreement to always have each other’s back no matter what happens. You did this because you care about each other more than anything else in the world.

If she no longer feels like you care about her, your marriage will not last.

Remember that stuff you said in your vows about proving your love every single day? Well it’s put up or shut up time.

You need to show her that she’s your number one priority.

“The difference between an ordinary marriage and an extraordinary marriage is in giving just a little ‘extra’ every day, as often as possible, for as long as we both shall live.”
-Fawn Weaver

This can be as simple as telling her that you love her more often. And don’t let it go by too quickly. Really look into her eyes and tell her how you feel about her.

It doesn’t need to be poetry but if she can tell you’ve thought about it, it’ll mean a lot to her.

Telling her you love her is great, but you also need to show her. Try to do something for her once a week, even if its small. It can be a note on the mirror telling her to have a good day, a sexy piece of lingerie on the dresser, or taking her out for ice cream.

Little surprises and shows of affection will make her feel beautiful, respected, and admired.

This will pay off in a big way. Don’t be surprised if you come home and she’s waiting at the door for you wearing nothing but that lingerie.

Don’t Take Her For Granted

She needs to know that you value her and what she brings to your life.

If she does something nice for you, be appreciative. Not only that, take note of it and bring it up later on to thank her. Thanking her at the time it happens is expected but bringing it up later shows that you’re really grateful.

Not taking her for granted also means not forgetting your anniversary, her birthday, Valentine’s Day and other important dates. Don’t do it!

These days are extremely important to many women and forgetting them feels like a personal attack.

Put these days in your calendar so that you’re reminded a week before and you have a chance to plan something special. Do it right now. It takes five minutes and it will save you a world of hurt later.

“Improve your marriage to keep your wife happy. Keep your wife happy to improve your marriage.”
–Brad Browning

Support Her In Her Goals

Setting and achieving goals is a great way to feel positive about yourself and your life.

If you can help your wife accomplish some of her dreams then not only will she have something to feel happy about, she’ll feel like you’re on her side and bring value into her life.

Don’t push her to do anything she doesn’t want to do but if you notice that she has big ideas, tell her that you know that she can see them through.

Even if she’s not particularly ambitious, if she expresses the desire to do something, tell her its a good idea and do your best to help her.

She’ll feel like she can do anything as long as you’re by her side.

Say Yes

This one is simple. Say yes to her ideas and suggestions.

This can range from where to eat dinner to what to name your kids and everything in between.

A lot of guys have trouble giving up that sense of control in a relationship. If you’re an alpha and always need to take the lead in any situation, take a step back and put yourself in her shoes.

Imagine if she was always shooting down your ideas. Even if she was nice about it, if she was making all the choices in a relationship, you’d feel like she doesn’t respect you.

“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.”
-Lyndon B. Johnson

This doesn’t mean you have to put her needs ahead of yours every single time but aim for a better mix and, especially if it’s something trivial, let her have her way.

Do you really care what movie you watch or which freeway you take to get to her mom’s house?

And when you do disagree about something, be respectful. Say you have different political views, or she hates a band that happens to be one of your favourites.

You don’t have to roll over and pretend that you feel the same way. What you should do is listen to her point of view and try to understand it before offering up your own.

This helps avoid conflict and meaningless fights. It will also save time.

And if you’re going to support her ideas, don’t drag your feet. Put your support one hundred percent in her corner and do it with enthusiasm.

By saying yes to her ideas and suggestions, you’re saying yes to her as a person.

Be Your Best Self

It makes sense that most of the tips on this list are focused on your wife, but don’t neglect yourself in the process.

You make up an entire half of this marriage and if you’re stuck in a rut, so is she.

So take care of yourself. Stay active, be healthy, and have fun. Do what you need to do to improve your own life.

We talked about her goals earlier, but what about your own? Whether its running a half marathon, quitting smoking, or eating an entire rotisserie chicken in one sitting, set a goal and go for it.

The satisfaction you get from achieving goals will bleed over into other parts of your life and make you a better, more balanced partner for your wife.

If you’re the stressed-out overachiever type, try to slow down and take steps to simplify your life.

This doesn’t mean going on a week long vacation to Vegas with the boys and leaving your wife at home but it does mean making your health, security, and happiness a priority as well.

Make Time For Her

We get busy. There’s no way around it. There’s a lot that needs to get done and only so many hours in the day.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of life but a little one-on-one time can be all it takes to keep your marriage happy and healthy.

Treat her like you did when you were dating. Instead of watching TV on the couch, take her out for a drink or a nice meal. Go for a walk in the park. You don’t need to take her to the Eiffel Tower. Just the two of you spending time together is enough.

If the old routine is getting stale, try something new together like rock climbing.

Schedule it out if you have to or make it spontaneous but do it.

Anyway, if you can’t make time to be with your wife, what’s even the point of being married?

“Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.”
-Franz Schubert

Click here and take my free quiz to evaluate your current situation and find out whether you'll be able to fix your marriage.

Disclaimer: Mental Health Treatment

If you feel like your wife’s unhappiness is abnormal, is interfering with her ability to function normally, or has gone on for an extended period of time, it’s important for her to seek mental health treatment.

Can You Save Your Marriage Alone (Without Your Spouse)?

March 29, 2018/0 Comments/in Divorce /by Brad Browning

It’s not easy to fix a broken marriage, especially when you’re on your own.

Maybe your spouse is not willing to put in the work, they’re unwilling to change, or they refuse to even admit that your marriage is in trouble.

Unfortunately, this means you’re on a collision course with divorce. But don’t lose hope!

You CAN save your marriage alone without your spouse’s help.

If you follow my advice, you’ll see your marriage turn onto the right path and pretty soon your spouse will get on board.

The Wrong Way To Stop Divorce Alone

There are ways to prevent your spouse from leaving you that will do more harm than good.

They may work in the short term but they’re harmful and will end up damaging your marriage, your spouse, and yourself if you don’t stop them immediately.

As tempting as it may be, crying and begging for your spouse to give your marriage another chance may make them feel sorry for you but it will not change their mind.

Instead, these types of reactions will make you appear weak and out of control.

Drama will only create more drama. Don’t use your children as a weapon, don’t threaten your spouse with consequences for leaving, and don’t insult them.

You could probably make your spouse stay by putting a gun to their head, but would that really solve anything? The principle is the same here.

“People stay married because they want to, not because the doors are locked.”
-Paul Newman

But don’t despair. Giving up and eating a pint of Haagen-Dazs won’t fix your marriage either.

If you’re reading this, it means you’re willing to take positive action towards saving your marriage on your own. It may be a difficult uphill climb but you’ve already taken the first step.

How To Fix Your Marriage On Your Own

Think of saving your marriage as a project. It’s going to take a lot of work and some time, but there are small things you can do today to get started.

Reframe Your Marriage Problems

Fixing your marriage is not about never fighting again. That’s just not realistic. You can’t prevent arguments from happening and you shouldn’t try to stop by ignoring yours or your spouse’s feelings.

What you can control is your own behaviour during a fight. You need to maintain a calm, cool mindset.

You also need to make sure that you’re framing your arguments correctly in such a way that you don’t make the argument worse.

Think about how you use the word “I”.

If you’ve ever watched two people argue, you’ll notice that the word they use most is “you”… it’s always “You always do this!” or “You always do that!”

When you use the word “you”, you make your spouse feel like they’re 100% responsible for whatever you’re arguing about.

This sort of alienation will only make matters worse.

So instead, use the word “I” during your arguments. Say something like, “I feel it would be better if we drove the kids to school earlier.”

Try it next time you argue with your spouse!

Fall Back In Love With Your Spouse

If your marriage is in dire straits, you’re probably fighting all the time and the thought of your spouse may, understandably, give rise to anxiety and sadness.

The thought that they aren’t willing to fight for your marriage must make you angry. This is all natural.

But remember what you’re fighting for. You’re trying to save your marriage because you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. They must be someone pretty special.

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
-Mignon McLaughlin

Remember what made you fall in love with them. How they made you feel. Why you wanted to marry them. Remember the time before you started having problems.

Try to keep these things in mind whenever things get heated with your spouse and you’ll find that you’re more able to treat them like your true love, and less like your opponent.

What are some nice things you used to do for them? A massage, flowers, even some kind words can go a long way.

When things are bad we tend to stop treating each other well but this is the time we need kindness the most!

You don’t have to act like nothing is happening. But being positive and affectionate when you can will improve things between you two.

If your partner sees that you still care about them and want to make them happy even while you’re in conflict, they’ll begin to do the same.

Seek Marriage Help

Saving a marriage alone is tough work.

You should work on your support system. Reach out to trusted friends and family members.

It’s easy, and tempting, to use your friends just to blow off steam. But badmouthing your spouse can make problems in your marriage grow by changing how others see you and your spouse. This creates a toxic environment that can persist long after this one fight.

Instead, stay calm, discuss your problems logically and accurately and work towards actual solutions.

On top of just being an emotional release, getting an outsider’s perspective can give you valuable insight you wouldn’t have considered on your own.

If your spouse is refusing to work on the marriage then marriage counselling is generally out of the question. You’re not going to be able to make them take it seriously and they’ll resent you for trying to make them.

This is something to work towards down the line.

Another option is to sign up for my online Marriage Coaching. My coaching works without the help of your spouse. They don’t even have to know about it.

Remember That Unhappy People Have Unhappy Marriages

This is a simple fact but it is powerful. Think of all the people you know whose marriages have fallen apart. Are they usually happy people with a positive outlook? Chances are their actions are driven by a negative attitude and personal problems that they are addressing.

I’m sure you’re saying, “I’m unhappy because my marriage is unhappy.” But the truth is that your marriage cannot be your only source of happiness.

It’s not the end all be all. I’m sure your marriage has real problems that need to be addressed, but you’ll be surprised how much difference perspective makes.

If you find you’re agonizing over even the small problems with your spouse it may be because the other parts of your life are lacking attention and excitement.

You need to find something to be excited about outside of your marriage.

Take an exercise class. Start a journal. Take up woodworking.

If you’re lacking in time or money, it can be as simple as doing some overdue cleaning and organizing.

Taking action can stop you from feeling powerless and this new sense of power will extend into all parts of your life.

Work on yourself, not your spouse and they will notice that you’re happy and excited and that you’re putting your attention into something besides their behaviour.

“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.”
-Simone Signoret

Is My Marriage Worth Saving?

Not all marriages can or should be saved. It’s an unfortunate fact that some things just aren’t meant to be. If your marriage has become emotionally toxic, violent, or detrimental to your overall health, it may be time to let go and move on with your life.

I know it’s easier said than done but it’s important to be honest with yourself.

You need to ask yourself if this marriage is beyond hope or if there’s really a chance of turning it around.

Click here and take my free quiz to evaluate your current situation and find out whether you'll be able to fix your marriage.

Signs Your Spouse Wants To Get Divorced

March 27, 2018/1 Comment/in Divorce /by Brad Browning

Click here and take my free quiz to evaluate your current situation and find out whether you'll be able to fix your marriage.

Does Your Spouse Want A Divorce? Here’s How To Tell

An unhappy marriage can be like a broken vase. The pieces are still all there but it’s unrecognizable. It seems impossible to put it back together.

How did things get this bad?

I’m going to take you through 18 different signs that could indicate your spouse wants to end your marriage.

Before you get too worked up about your marital situation, though, please keep reading all the way to the end of this page… because I’m also going to give you a way out of your marriage crisis, and a simple strategy you can start using today to ensure you never have to worry about divorce.

First, though, let’s dive into the signs that indicate your marriage is in a tailspin…

18 Signs Your Marriage Is Headed For Divorce

SIGN #1 – Your Spouse Isn’t Fighting With You

This one seems counterintuitive. Normally you’d be overjoyed that the nagging has stopped. Isn’t that exactly what you wanted? But this feels different.

Has the fighting cooled off but the bad feelings remain?

Do they seem distant and checked out?

While constant fighting is definitely not healthy, ignoring problems and refusing to work things out could be an indicator that your spouse is resigned to divorce.

They’re no longer interested in fixing the problems you once had because they don’t see a future with you in it.

SIGN #2 – Your Partner Has Gone Quiet

You know your spouse inside and out. Are they quieter than normal? Not laughing as much? Are they down in the dumps for no reason?

Normally they tell you everything so if they’re not telling you why they’re sad, you may be the reason.

A sudden change in mood may be an indicator that they’re dealing with the sadness that comes with the realization that they want a divorce.

SIGN #3 – Long Phone Calls

Hard to imagine, I know, but some people enjoy talking on the phone.

But if your spouse is suddenly making phone calls much more than is typical, they’re doing it in private, they go silent when you walk in the room, or they won’t tell you who they’re talking to, they might be considering divorce.

Maybe they’re talking to someone new, maybe they’re confiding in their friends or family about the problems with your marriage. In any case, it’s a bad sign.

SIGN #4 – Your Spouse Is Always Busy

They suddenly have no time for you and the reasons why just don’t add up. They could be making excuses to be away from you.

Whether they’re cheating or have decided they want a divorce, this is a bad sign.

SIGN #5 – Your Marriage Is Full of Anger

Has your spouse become quick to anger over the smallest thing? Do they blow up for seemingly no reason?

Sudden rage can be a sign that they’re fed up and are working towards ending the relationship.

SIGN #6 – Your Spouse Doesn’t Talk About The Future

You used to be working towards your future together. What trip you’d be taking next. What baby names you liked.

If you can’t remember the last time you had one of these talks, if they change the subject every time you bring up the future, or (worse) if they’re making plans for the future and you’re not in them, it’s time to be concerned.

SIGN #7 – They’re Doing Shady Stuff With Money

Shared finances is one of the pillars of a stable marriage. Is your spouse suddenly making big purchases without consulting you?

Have you noticed money moving around mysteriously? Are they carrying a lot more cash than seems normal?

This kind of secrecy around money is suspicious. It could mean a lot of things, but most of them aren’t good.

It’s possible that your spouse is buying gifts for a lover… or preparing for financial independence.

Divorce means the division of assets. They could be trying to put money somewhere that you won’t be able to access it. It could even mean that they’ve hired an attorney to begin divorce proceedings.

SIGN #8 – They’re Spending More Time Alone With The Kids

It’s good for parents to spend time with their kids together and apart.

But if your spouse is suddenly excluding you from group activities, taking the children unexpectedly, or having long conversations with them without you present, it’s a warning sign.

They could be trying to get the children on their side to get custody. In particularly messy divorces, some parents even try to turn the child against the other parent.

SIGN #9 – They’ve Stopped Confiding In You

Normally you tell each other everything: from your deepest regrets to the weird stuff they did at band camp, to what you ate for breakfast this morning.

But now, if that’s all stopped, it could be bad news. Maybe you’re hearing from others about changes in your spouse’s life, or events they would normally have told you about.

If they’re keeping these things from you, it means they feel like they can no longer trust you, they’re checked out, or they’re sharing them with someone else.

Any or all of these can be a recipe for divorce.

SIGN #10 – Your Partner Disappears

You haven’t implanted a GPS chip in your spouse’s ear, I hope… but, normally you probably have a pretty good idea about where your husband or wife goes, and how they spend their day, right?

That’s why it’s unusual if suddenly your spouse starts doing new activities that seem to take up a lot of their time.

This is one that you’d need to investigate. Don’t throw out any accusations! Maybe he or she has really just taken up kickboxing every weekday, just like they said they were.

Ask them about it without prying, and take an “innocent until proven guilty” attitude towards their behavior.

However, if your spouse goes AWOL for long periods of time and they refuse to explain why, that’s cause for some concern.

SIGN #11 – You’re Fighting For The Sake Of Fighting

Having arguments is a normal, healthy part of marriage. But when the stupid fights are piling up and they seem to happen for no real reason, maybe they’re masking something deeper.

Sometimes people pick fights to convince themselves that a divorce is the only option.

It could also be that your spouse is no longer concerned about upsetting you because, for them, the marriage is already over.

SIGN #12 – They’re Not Listening

If your partner doesn’t listen to you anymore, seems to not be engaging with what you’re saying, or forgets things you’ve told them, it’s a bad sign.

Think about the people in your life you ignore. Would you ever put your spouse on that list?

If you did, what would it mean? If they’re not listening to you it could be because they have one foot out the door.

SIGN #13 – You Have A Gut Feeling

If you’re reading this article, you have a pretty good idea that something is up.

Even if nothing else on this list applies, the feeling alone can be an indicator that they are considering ending your marriage.

Trust your instinct that something is wrong and keep your eye out for other signs that your partner is unhappy.

SIGN #14 – Your Spouse Is Making Big Changes

Has your partner drastically changed how they look or behave around you and others? Are they treating you differently, whether better or worse?

Change isn’t a bad thing. Making big decisions without considering you, though, can be a sign of martial troubles.

It could be an indicator that they’re starting to mentally detach from your marriage.

Think about when you were a teenager. You’d try on new identities in an attempt to find out who you were.

This kind of identity crisis can end with your spouse starting a different life without you.

Maybe they think you wouldn’t approve of their new motorcycle or that going to the gym twice a day is none of your business.

Although a sphere of privacy is perfectly acceptable for both partners in a marriage, spouses generally shouldn’t keep secrets from one another. If they are, especially if it becomes common, that typically means communication has begun to break down.

It could also be the beginning of a midlife crisis which you don’t want. Either way, your spouse is too old to be having a goth phase.

SIGN #15 – Your Marriage Is Devoid of Sex

Sex is an important part of emotional connection. This doesn’t mean that you need to be hanging off the ceiling fan banging each other’s brains out… but if the frequency and passion of your intimate encounters has gone way down recently, it’s a sign that things may have soured.

If your spouse has stopped initiating sex or is rejecting your advances, it’s usually bad news.

They could be withholding out of anger, they may have lost that special connection, or they may have found someone else.

SIGN #16 – They’re Lying and Keeping Secrets

This is a big one. It seems obvious but it can be something that starts off slowly. If things they say turn out to be untrue, don’t let them brush it off.

When people lie, it usually means they’re hiding something. Your spouse is no different.

If they have a secret phone, new friends you don’t know, and increasingly convoluted excuses, either they’re Walter White or they’re pulling away from you.

SIGN #17 – Their Friends Are Acting Weird

Marriages come with mutual friends. If your friends are acting strangely — not talking to you, or cancelling plans — they could know something is up.

Maybe your spouse has confided that they want to separate or divorce. Maybe they’re already choosing sides, or maybe they just want to stay out of any potential conflict between you and your spouse.

SIGN #18 – They Aren’t Affectionate Like They Used To Be

Similar to sex, affection is key to a strong connection.

You may still be having sex frequently, but still experience a lack affection from your spouse.

If they don’t cuddle with you, kiss you, or touch you the way they used to, this could mean something isn’t quite right in your marriage.

Can A Divorce Be Stopped?

If your partner is exhibiting several of these signs, don’t despair. There’s still a chance that you’re simply being paranoid, and it’s possible that your spouse is still invested in your marriage.

However, if you’re confident that your spouse is losing interest in your marriage, don’t delay. Take action now to save your marriage before it’s too late.

A marriage in crisis doesn’t fix itself, but you’re still in a position to repair the bond with your spouse and keep your marriage intact and healthy enough to survive for the long-term…. if you take action to turn things around, starting today.

Begin by clicking here to watch my free video tutorial, where I’ll share the top 3 “Marriage Murdering Mistakes” that thousands of couples make (without realizing it!) that erode marriages and almost always lead to eventual divorce. (Trust me, you don’t want to make these same mistakes!)

My video also gives you a clear idea of what you need to do to change the dynamic of your marriage, and ensure you prevent divorce from ever becoming a reality. Click here to watch the full video now.

3 Things To Try Before Giving Up On Your Marriage

August 2, 2017/in Marriage /by Jessica Raymond

Don’t give up on your marriage lightly, or easily, or without a fight – and I don’t mean a fight against your spouse. I mean a fight with your spouse where you’re both fighting on the same side – for your marriage.

Marriage is a wonderful thing – it is good for your health, your longevity, your happiness, your financial success, and more. So before you call it quits, here are three things to try – together:

1. Take a Cooking Class

Cooking classes are offered at many fancy restaurants, or also at local culinary schools. They’re a hot trend right now. If you live in a big city, you’ll have plenty of choices, and perhaps you will want to choose a style of cooking, French, Italian, whatever, that appeals to you. Maybe try a pastry baking class, or bread-making.

But it doesn’t matter what the subject of the class is. And if you find yourself even arguing about which type of cooking to study, then forget it and flip a coin, or draw straws, or whatever it takes. Just pick one at random.

What will happen in this class is that the two of you will learn something new, and you will learn it together. Cooking isn’t easy – a kitchen is just a thinly disguised chemistry lab, with all the potential for fires, messes, explosions, and so on. So you’ll need to pay attention.

Cooking is a creative activity. It forces you not only to study something – a bit of a new language, for example, as you learn à la meunière, bain-marie or abbrustolire. Learning new vocabulary activates new areas of your brain. It actually rewires parts of your brain, changing the synaptic connections between neurons. Literally, you are learning a new way to think.

While you work together on creative cooking problems, you will also be retraining your brain regarding your marriage. You and your spouse will see each other in a new way, during new adventures.

It doesn’t matter whether you burn your béchamel sauce, either – whether you succeed or fail at cooking isn’t important. What matters is that you tried something new together and you had an adventure, a good story you can tell again and again, whether it’s a tale of triumph or tragedy.

A cooking class will have other people in it, as well, making it a good social activity for the two of you. In class you will not only learn gastronomic skills, but you will meet other people and share your adventure with them. You will all laugh and groan together at your mishaps, as a class. Perhaps you’ll make friends with some of your culinary classmates – people you can form new relationships with. New friends and new social habits can also change your marriage for the better.

Another great thing about cooking classes – assuming you learn something from them – is that you can continue to enjoy what you learned together, for many years afterwards.

2. Volunteer To Help Others

Few things are better at taking your mind off your own misery than helping someone else through volunteer work or charity service. This is something that ideally you and your spouse would do together – again, it’s a shared adventure that will help you rethink your own marriage. But, in a pinch, service work can be done by yourself and it will still help you feel less angry, or less like a victim.

The type of charity or volunteer work you choose isn’t important, although it should be work – some kind of labor, not just writing a check to a charitable organization. Groups like Habitat for Humanity build homes for poor people in many cities and rural areas. It’s easy to volunteer for such projects, even if you have only rudimentary skills or have never hit a nail with a hammer in your whole life.

Volunteer often enough, and you’ll get to see how an entire house is built, from the pouring of the foundations to the capping of the roof and installation of the plumbing. Learn to hang doors or install windows – these are not only valuable skills but they also give you pride in having used your own hands. Again, you will (unless you’re already a skilled carpenter or builder) be learning new things and rewiring your brain.

Other types of work include traditional things like soup kitchens or other projects to help feed, clothe and shelter the homeless or indigent. Not only is the work important, but it will also help redefine your view of your own life and your own marriage. After spending eight or nine hours feeding homeless drug abusers, your own marriage, flawed though it is, may look a little different to you, and you may begin to feel more gratitude for it than you have in the past.

Other possibilities include delivering meals to elderly shut-ins in your area – inquire at local churches, community or cultural centers about these kinds of opportunities. Check with local nursing homes or hospitals about reading to the ill or elderly.

Physical labor is probably good for you, whether it’s ladling out soup in a cafeteria line or hammering nails at a housing site. But there are other options that are more cerebral, such as writing letters to prisoners or to soldiers serving overseas. Whatever you choose to do, discuss it with your spouse. Talk about your feelings around the work – this new topic of conversation and the emotions you are feeling will also help rewrite some of the circuitry in your brain.

Feeling like a victim isn’t really a helpful emotional state when it comes to saving your marriage. So it’s important to try and shift your attitude towards feeling more grateful. Even a small shift can yield big benefits. Charity work is a valuable tool in changing your attitude.

3. Join a Gym Together

Rethink your exercise routine. Most of us could probably benefit from more physical activity, but even if you’re already a super-fit gym rat with 7 percent body fat there are ways to shake things up. Join a gym with your spouse.

3 Things To Try Before Giving Up On Your Marriage Instead of going alone to the gym, stuffing your ears shut with tiny speakers, and sweating it out alone in a bubble of your favorite music, try taking a class together. Most gyms offer group exercise classes, whether it’s indoor cycling or cardio-boxing or salsa and hip-hop dancing. Get to know each other in a new way. Exercise will also produce lots of endorphins, the feel-good chemicals in our brains, and will automatically put you in a better mood.

If the gym’s not for you, then schedule a daily walk, jog or bike ride together. Some sort of physical activity with your spouse will be a different activity than exercising by yourself, or not exercising at all. Again, it will be a novel experience that rewires part of your brain.

Want to really shake things up? Then sign up for something a little bit dangerous with your spouse. Rock climbing is one possibility – learn to belay for each other while you scale those high walls! Or take a martial arts class where you have to trust each other while practicing potentially deadly techniques.

Letting your spouse choke you or bend your elbow backwards in judo class is sure to build a new level of trust!