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You are here: Home1 / Relationships2 / 3 Ways To Destroy a Relationship and Send Him Running
man running away

3 Ways To Destroy a Relationship and Send Him Running

By Jessica Raymond

Therapist & Dating Coach

Thankfully, it’s not too often that a smart, successful woman walks into my office balling her eyes out because the man she loved walked out of her life.  If it happened on a daily basis, I’d probably have to reconsider my chosen career.

 Man walking awayBut sadly, it does happen occasionally.  And the worst part is that these ladies probably should’ve seen it coming.

And, if they had, they would’ve been able to salvage things before their man decided to end the relationship.

So, in this post, I’d like to point out three things that women tend to do that cause serious relationship issues and often lead to their boyfriends / husbands walking (or even running) away.

Note that this article is specifically written for ladies who have found a man they truly love, and are in a happy and committed relationship.  If you’re simply sleeping with a guy at the office or if your relationship is on its last legs anyway, these may not apply.

But, let’s look at these three things women do that send their men running:

1. Smothering Your boyfriend or Attempting to be Controlling

This is probably the most common of the three issues I’m going to discuss in this post, and it’s also the most likely to go unnoticed by women.  If you are in a mature, committed relationship, then you should have established a strong level of trust by now.

This base level of trust between you and your partner should be all that’s needed to let your boyfriend go out and do what he wants without constantly checking up on him. I’m not saying you shouldn’t expect him to phone you when he’s out of town for a buddy’s bachelor party, but if he happens to call an hour later than you expected, then you need to have a little faith and assume that he’s being honest.

Similarly, you can’t expect your man to quit watching football and join your dance class, either.

Just like you have our own hobbies and friends, your man should be allowed to live his own life without fearing that you’ll disapprove or be angry at him.

So, if this sounds like something you might be guilty of, back off a bit and evaluate whether or not your complaints are rationale.

2. Not Offering Him a Sphere of Privacy

I don’t care how close you and your boyfriend / husband are, there still needs to be a certain element of privacy.  Not everything that he does or says is your concern, and the fact that he talks to a female friend from high school doesn’t mean you should insist on reading every text message.

And, whatever you do, do not ask him for passwords to his Facebook, Twitter, email, etc.  Your boyfriend (and you as well!) deserves a certain level of privacy, even if you think he owes it to you to share every detail of his private life.

3. Expecting the World From Your Partner Without Being Willing to Do the Same for Him

What I mean by this is that some women have a tendency to expect a lot from their man — flowers delivered to the office, candlelit dinners, love notes on a daily basis — without doing much in return.

Every relationship is a two-way street, and any you need to understand that any expectations you have for your significant other should be reciprocated.

In other words, if you expect a candlelit dinner at a fancy French restaurant every Saturday night, then you better be willing to take your boyfriend to the football game the next day.  If you expect him to mow the lawn and change the oil in your car, then you should be willing to do his laundry and clean up after dinner.

There are two possible ways around this problem:  Either expect less from him and don’t complain when he doesn’t shower you in affection and gifts, or up your own game and be willing to do the same for him.

I know all three of the things I just discussed seem fairly self-explanatory, but many women are committing one or more of these sins without realizing it.

So, even if you think your relationship is going perfectly well, save yourself the heartache by stepping back and evaluating whether you might be doing any of these three things.

Trust me, you’ll thank me when he sticks around for years to come!

Jessica Raymond

Jessica Raymond, BSc, is LoveLearnings senior editor. As a relationship coach, Jessica has helped hundreds of men and women achieve their relationship dreams. Whether it’s finding your one true love or simply charming someone on a date, Jessica's got your back! In her articles, she reveals little-known, psychological tips that will make even the coldest person chase you around like a little puppy.

Tags: arguments, commitment issues, conflict resolution, just for ladies, trust, understanding men
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