I met the most engaging human being last night. I was at a birthday party where I knew the birthday girl and one of her friends and, like any normal human being, I was nervous to be in a situation where I didn’t really know anyone.
I can make myself pretty comfortable in most situations, but when I’m feeling the slightest bit tired, it takes a lot more energy to be social. But I met this god send of a partygoer last night. His name is Dan.
Dan is the birthday girl’s best friend. He came over to me and chatted me up a bit because he could see that I didn’t really know a lot of people there. After we got to know each other a bit, he suggested that we play with the virtual reality PlayStation and I politely said, “no thank you. Video games aren’t my thing.”
He said, “Who cares? you just need to try this.” And as much as I resisted, he persisted that I should just try. I’ve always refrained from playing video games because of the fear of not being very good at it. But, for some reason, last night Dan made me feel like just trying and even failing would be fun because we both would kind of suck.
So we bonded over both of our inability to play video games and we even let the other partygoers watch as we floundered. We all ended up having a good laugh.
The point of this story is to be fearless. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. This resilience makes you not only unforgettable but also someone that people want to be around, because you have the ability to turn any situation into an exhilarating one.
1. Get over yourself
A lot of the time, we’re always trying to paint ourselves in this perfect light. Whether that is professionally, or personally, we’re always trying to be our best and perform to the best of our abilities and look our best.
Think about your resume or CV. It’s not a place where you list your quirky flaws. No, you’re trying to show off all of the achievements and assets that you will bring to a potential employer. You’re always trying to achieve some level of perfection.
A lot of the time when we’re focused on this, we neglect to branch out of our comfort zone and really try new things unless we know that we will succeed at it or be perfect.
It’s important to get out of your comfort zone even if it means failing.
In reality, people feel much closer and connected to those that seem fallible. People who can fail and make mistakes, but do so graciously.
Someone who is resilient is remembered as someone that people want to be around and someone who encourages others to try new things even when they fail.
And when you encourage people to get out of their comfort zone you make them feel empowered and that is a memorable quality to have.
2. Make people feel special
How you do this is by being curious about their lives, which makes people feel valuable and unique.
I find maintaining authentic and genuine conversation with people is hard for a lot of people.
One of the best ways to build rapport and ensure that the conversation never runs dry is to use the FORD system. This allows you to skim over small talk and get to know people on a deeper level. The FORD system is just an acronym for topic areas to cover when you’re talking to new people.
These are great topics to find out what matters to people. And once you do so, talk about the things and people that matter to them and you will find that you get to know that person with whom you’re speaking on a much deeper level and at a much quicker pace.
This is one of the easiest things that you can do to improve your mood and the mood of an interaction, because like a good mood, laughing is contagious.
Laughter decreases stress hormones and triggers the release of endorphins which promote an overall sense of well-being.
“I’m struck by how laughter connects you with people. It’s almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance, any sense of social hierarchy when you are just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.”
– John Cleese
So try to remember to laugh to relax any social interaction.
4. Be proactive
And for our fourth and final tip on how to make yourself an unforgettable man is to be proactive. This is the type of person who is self-motivated. Someone who lives the saying, “actions speak louder than words.” One of the defining characteristics of an unforgettable alpha male is his leadership qualities, but not so much in his ability to lead others, but his ability to lead himself.
So be the guy that follows through, not the one that is all talk.