Over time, we all develop bad habits. Usually, they’re simple and benign things, like chewing on fingernails or eating the same unhealthy things for lunch.
When it comes to relationships, though, these bad habits can (and often do) have major negative consequences if left unchecked.
So while each bad habit listed below might not seem like a big deal in isolation, it might be contributing to serious issues in your relationship and could even result in your partner walking away.
So, if you’ve found someone special and you want to keep them around, then there’s a simple solution: make sure you’re not guilty of these bad habits that ruin relationships.
Your partner will thank you for it, and your bond will be stronger as a result.
(Need more ideas and advice on how to keep your relationship healthy and prevent problems? Read my popular “Guide To Building A Healthy Relationship” article!)
1. Being Irrationally or Overly Jealous
If your partner has never been unfaithful — if you’ve never caught them cheating or had problems with infidelity — then there’s no reason to become jealous.
Jealousy and a fear of your partner being unfaithful is definitely a natural feeling, but it’s something you need to keep in check unless you have some legitimate reason to believe otherwise. Don’t be controlling or jealous if there’s no proof or no history of cheating.
2. Taking Your Partner for Granted
This is just plain bad. If you really love your partner or spouse, then you need to always appreciate them and outwardly show this appreciation. Never take your boyfriend / girlfriend / spouse for granted, and make sure that they’re well aware of how much you appreciate them and all the things they do for you.
And be sure you’re not “wearing blinders,” either … sometimes you may not notice or pay attention to the little things your better half does for you, which can lead to resentment and conflicts that could be avoided if you took the time to really consider how great your partner really is.
3. Applying Double Standards
While you and your boyfriend or girlfriend will have different needs, expectations, obligations, etc., you both have a responsibility to give and take equally.
In other words, if you expect your partner to do something (i.e., go to your parent’s house for dinner, help with household chores, watch a tv show, etc.) then you need to be willing to do the same things for them. In the end, relationships are all about compromise and ongoing give-and-take, so be sure that you’re not expecting more from your partner than you’re willing to give yourself.
4. Demanding Absolute, Complete Disclosure and Disregarding Privacy
One of the single most damaging things that a person can do in a relationship is to forbid their partner from having privacy.
No, you don’t need to know your boyfriend’s Facebook password. You don’t need to grill your wife on every detail of her “girl’s night out.” You don’t have any right to demand access to your partner’s text messages — and so on.
Granted, you definitely have a right to honesty and a relationship free of secrets, but even the closest married couples with a deep romantic connection need small spheres of privacy at times. Just remember to keep your demands reasonable, and make sure both you and your partner don’t feel like you’re always snooping around or making unreasonable and unjustified demands.
5. Abandoning Friendships and Letting Your Social Life Shrivel Away
This is a problem that’s especially common with younger couples who have limited dating experience but quickly fall for one another. In such a situation, where you’ve been searching for love for a long time and finally found that special someone, it can be tempting to forget about your other friends and hobbies and spend every waking moment with your partner.
This is bad partly because it can make a breakup (if it comes to that) far more painful. But more importantly, it’s not healthy to spend all your time with your lover. He or she might be perfect for you, but there are certain voids that only your friends or family can fill. You need time apart occasionally to avoid bickering and becoming irritated by one another. Just remember that life requires a certain balance, and that time apart is an important element in mature relationships.
There are plenty of other bad habits that can contribute to relationship or marital problems, but the ones above are some of the most problematic and most common. Avoid these, and you’re well on your way to living “happily ever after!”