couple in bed embraced in handcuffs

4 Things That Turn Women Off — Instantly

When a group of women get together to talk, catch up, hang out, whatever you want to call it, some pretty brutally honest things get said.

The filters get thrown out the window, and women are honest with each other and themselves about what they do and don’t want.

Some people might call it bitchy and/or gossiping, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And it’s just a safe space where women can converse with other women on topics — such as men.

And one of the things that I think men need to be privy to is some of this inside talk that happens between women.

And what turns them off, and I’m not going to give you a list of physical qualities, such as hygiene and what not. No, these have more to do with gaining an understanding of women and how they think and function.

These are ways to understand a woman better.

What makes her tick, what makes her feel good and want to be around you and what turns her off and feel unappreciated.

If you can grasp a couple of these things, you will be one of the most attractive men because you get women and what they want/need. It’s almost like learning a new language, but not quite as difficult and a lot more fun and rewarding.

So without further ado, let’s get into 4 things that turn women off that men should stop doing:

1. Being Negative

Okay, the first thing that turns women off is if you’re negative, that is, if you’re negative about yourself, your apartment, your family, friends, your job, etc. Basically, if you’re a negative Neville, chances are you’re turning off women wherever you go. What does it say about you when you are saying things like, “Oh no, my job isn’t that cool. I’m just paying the bills waiting for something better to come along.”

This kind of attitude suggests that you sit on your couch and that you let your life pass you by waiting for things to happen to you as opposed to going out and making the things that you want happen.

Negativity, in any capacity, is a turn off. It’s a sign of insecurity and unhappiness within yourself and your life. It doesn’t make for good company.

Because men and women communicate in such different ways, we date and pay attention to different actions and reactions, and what I mean by this is that what might seem silly or unimportant to you, is sometimes very important to women, and often times even a deal breaker.

2. Distracted

Another big turn off for girls is if you’re overly distracted when talking to her. If you unknowingly ignore her or tune out of the conversation, a woman can tell.

man on his cell phone girl unimpressed.

Another big red flag when you’re dating is if someone is on their phone a lot during a date. Maybe it’s your friend asking how the date is going, maybe it’s your work, but communicate that to her.

And definitely do not check other women out. Nothing says, “I’m a sketch ball” quite like checking other women out in front of your date.

When a man is focused on the woman with whom he is speaking, she feels important, thus she feels good about herself being around you, which will make her want to be around you even more, and this is a win for you.

So if you don’t want to turn a woman off, don’t be distracted by the goings on around you. Focus on her and the moment.

3. Rude

This is a pretty simple one, and I think a well-known turn off to women, but just in case you needed a refresher, this turn off is rudeness. Being rude to anyone, a bartender, a waitress, a ticket concierge, any stranger that you encounter along your way if you’re on a date with a woman – of this she takes note.

man being rude to waitress

This kind of behavior turns women off because if you can be rude to a complete stranger and have no remorse, what’s to say you won’t be rude to your date?

Being rude turns women off because being rude kills the mood. Regardless if you were trying to be funny, be funny in such a way that your jokes don’t need to bring other people down in order to get a laugh. That is not sexy to a woman. That doesn’t make her feel like ripping off all of her clothes and jumping into bed with you. No, it makes her want to jump out of a moving car to get away from you.

Okay, that was extreme, but do you see what I mean here? Be nice to people.

Someone who is engaging with everyone that he encounters is highly attractive to women. If you hold the door open for the elderly, um swoon! Women love chivalrous actions like that. So remember to be kind because that sets the mood for the date, and you want to have a happy, flirtatious one, not a icky, feeling bad mood.

4. Selfish in Bed

Being a selfish lover is a huge turn off for women. THE BEST WAY to make a woman want to be around you is to compliment her in bed. Tell her she looks beautiful. This will make her feel good about herself and will, in turn, make her want to spend more time with you. As opposed to you just pushing her face into a pillow, doing your business, and then leaving. Nothing says get off of me like having your face smashed into a pillow by the guy that you like.

I’m not condemning all men for this, but sex and good sex, is not something that is taught in schools.

Women are not taught to speak up for what they want in bed and/or to explore what they do like. Hence, why most women fake orgasms to get it over with. And I don’t blame men for this either, because I believe that you, too, are not trained to ask a woman what she wants and/or likes sexually.

Thus, we have a miscommunication among the sexes. That is alright, because you can overcome this quite easily. Being a giving lover is one of the best ways to keep a woman interested in you.

Do your research, and by research I don’t mean watch porn. Porn won’t help you here. But books and learning materials online will all help you learn to please a woman and keep her coming back for more. Also, don’t be afraid to ask her what she likes, what turns her on.  Women are different and so are the things that turn them on.

These are by no means the only things that turn women off, but they are some of the most important and common ones. So take your time to read these over, and see if there are any areas upon which you, yourself, could improve.


About Kate Spring

Kate Spring is a men's dating & attraction coach from Vancouver, Canada. A recognized leader in helping men become irresistible to women, Kate works with clients from around the world, helping them to get the girl they want, and the relationship they deserve.
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