married couple arguing

8 Ways to Resolve Relationship Conflicts

From time to time every couple goes through a rough patch. Even married couples with the strongest of bonds will have a heated argument here and there.

The couples who enjoy the healthiest relationships, however, tend to be very good at managing conflict and working through disagreements. In this article, I’m going to lay out eight ways that you too can learn to work through conflicts with your partner.

Couple fighting on a sidewalk1. Don’t Avoid Difficult Discussions

If your partner does something that irritates you, or if you have a pressing issue on your mind, find time to discuss it with them, and do it fast.

Don’t put it off for days and weeks in the hope that it will go away — communication is key in any relationship, and keeping secrets and resentment bottled up is a sure fire way to cause tension and anger.

2. Don’t Make It Personal

 Even if the topic you’re arguing about is something related to your partner or their actions, it’s best to avoid name-calling, insults and accusations. If this behaviour starts to surface, take a deep breath, stay calm, keep your voice at a reasonable level, and try to have a discussion rather than a screaming match.

3. Wait Until You’re Calm 

If the argument is about something that’s really got your blood boiling, don’t confront your spouse or significant other until you’ve had time to cool down a bit. Nothing productive will come from an argument unless you can think rationally and have a mature discussion.

4. Do It in Private

It’s never a good idea to argue in front of your children, but it’s also important to keep any serious discussions or conflicts behind closed doors.

You don’t need others wading into the battle, and you don’t need the rest of the world to know about your problems.

So if you’re in public, or in company, wait until you have some alone time with your partner before you air any issues.

5. It’s Not About Being Right or Wrong

Finding fault is not productive, and even if you end up being “right” about something, it doesn’t guarantee you’ll settle the argument. Regardless of who you think is in the right, the priority should be finding a solution, and that’s both parties’ responsibility.

6. Accept Criticism

If your partner points out an instance where you’ve done something wrong or made a mistake, own up to it and accept responsibility.  Don’t be afraid to say, “I’m sorry, you’re right,” every once in a while.

7. Understand Your Partner’s Position

 In other words, don’t start ripping into your significant other because you think they’re wrong about something until you’ve really taken the time to listen and understand their point of view.

It helps to repeat back to your partner what they are saying to ensure you have a clear understanding of how they’re feeling.

8. Understand Solutions Are Often Elusive

Just because your first discussion about a contentious topic doesn’t result in a clear solution, that doesn’t mean it’s an issue that will never be sorted out. With enough work and some compromises from either side, you can usually work through even the most difficult disagreements.

If you can take the time to be calm, rational, and accepting (and if your partner is willing to do the same), most arguments and disagreements can be resolved quickly and to both partners’ satisfaction.

Adopting this approach to every conflict in your relationship can be extremely helpful in avoiding serious arguments and in keeping your relationship strong and healthy for years to come.

Good luck!

About Brad Browning

Brad Browning, BA, is the world’s premiere breakup & marriage coach. Brad Browning’s The Ex Factor Guide, a program that teaches men and women how to win back their ex lovers, has sold thousands of copies worldwide. Brad has also released a similar program called Mend The Marriage that teaches married couples how to revitalize the spark, romance, and desire that’s been long forgotten. To top it all off, Brad’s YouTube channel has over 50 thousand subscribers and almost 7 million views, making his videos the most-watched and liked videos on YouTube!
4 replies
  1. Aubree Render
    Aubree Render says:

    I need help my husband is a smoker and a drinker and loves to party.. he spend so much time drinking and talking to other people and smoking and as much as I try to get him to stop smoking and cut back on the drinking the more I try to make him better the more he pulls away from me..im trying to stop the fights and arguments but I feel like my marriage just isn’t going to make it

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear. Has he always been this way, though, or has his drinking been something that was triggered by an event? Make sure you don’t nag him, though. The best you can do is express your concern about his bad habits and then leave it at that. Don’t keep pushing it. The more you push it, the more he’s going to rebel. Perhaps try to go and get busy with your life and provide a good example? He’ll snap out eventually that way than if you were to start fights about it.

      Reply
  2. Michelle
    Michelle says:

    I wish there was more about getting an ex boyfriend back when he thinks we just don’t “work”. We fight too much. In other words..resistance to getting back together.

    Reply

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