When you are on the hunt for a meaningful, long-term relationship it is common to feel like every person you meet falls short. Indeed, there are many people out there who are simply uninterested — consciously or unconsciously — in making a commitment to another person at this point in their life. In fact, as individuals we all need to go through a cycle of change and maturity before we are able to enter a meaningful, healthy long-term relationship.
If you know you are ready, though how can you tell if the person you are interested in is, as they say a “keeper” who feels the same way?
Psychologists and relationship experts have put a lot of time and research into figuring out exactly that. They have found a few, key personality traits that all women (and men) who are truly ready to settle down need to posses.
1. She Is Self-Accountable
Also known as being emotionally mature, self-accountability is about more than being a “grown up.” Someone who is self-accountable takes responsibility for her actions and faults. Someone who is self-accountable will recognize negative influences on her behaviour and take steps to correct or eliminate them. She will listen to criticism openly. She will not focus on ego or “winning” over real improvement in her relationships.
Once people reach a point of emotional maturity, they develop a sense of self-respect and autonomy that avoids placing blame on others or the past.
This makes being in a relationship now easier because she recognizes it as independent of other events in her life. Likewise, an emotionally mature person is ready for a long-term relationship because she understands that she cannot compensate for or “fill” voids in her life with other people — including you!
2. Humour Is an Essential Aspect of Her Life and Relationships
Bad things happen. Embarrassing things happen. That’s life. However, working past the bad, the embarrassing, even the depressing, is a whole lot easier when you can laugh at it.
Seeing the humour in situations provides us with a resilience that makes disappointments easier to weather.
However, humour can also be destructive. Someone who is ready for long-term commitment understand that difference and doesn’t use humour to belittle or to get out of discussing uncomfortable feelings.
Rather, the humour that she sees is often reflective of herself or the foibles of life. And, most importantly, she shares that humour or even just a smile with you at times when you need it most.
3. She Can Handle Her Emotions
Just like a toddler who learns how to self-soothe and fall back asleep without calling out in the middle of the night, women ready for commitment understand how to take care of themselves when under duress rather than take it out on you.
When people are overstressed, they tend to have negative responses. When you learn to recognize those signs in yourself and go inward, rather than lash out, you are at a place where you can maintain a healthy, long-term relationship.
The key here is being able to self-manage bad situations so that you don’t say things you don’t mean, do things you regret, or start arguments just because. When someone recognizes her own triggers and manages them effectively, she is better able to correct the situation and move on in a productive way.
4. She Is Open to Change, and Embraces It
Life is all about change and keeping things interesting. By embracing the inevitability of that fact, even welcoming it through large and small gestures, you are better able to deal with that change.
When someone is ready to commit to a relationship, she understands that the situation, you, her, everything, will not always be the way that it is now and she’s okay with that.
From trying a new recipe because you want to eat less meat to looking into a new career to reinvent herself, embracing and accepting change and growth within herself allows the relationship to change and grow around you both.
5. She Is Grateful
Gratitude is one of the most powerful emotions we can have, especially when things look bleak. Being able to step back and say “thank you” either to a person or the universe in general allows us to put life into perspective and maintain a positive outlook.
Relationships are tough, and if you cannot embrace the good aspects and be thankful for them, you will never make it through the not-so-good times.
From a simple “thank you” when you take out the trash to truly appreciating who you are together, when you have a partner who is grateful for what you do have, working on what you don’t is a lot easier.
Also be mindful to the tips on building a healthy relationship to ensure a harmonious, happy relationship. Good luck finding the right girl to settle down with!