Gone are the days of men running the dating world. Instead, some of the smoothest talkers and biggest scorers on today’s scene are women.
The idea of “picking up” can be absolutely terrifying. From risking rejection to the fear of forgetting your words, putting yourself out there can feel as intimidating as strolling through a pack of hungry wolves wearing a meat suit – you risk being eaten alive.
If you’re looking to get lucky though, here are five tips for picking up men.
A big part of this happens before you leave the house.
When choosing an outfit, pick one that highlights your best features. For instance, if you have killer legs then a fitted skirt could do the trick, or if you’re a bit self-conscious of your curves then a flowing top or dress with accessories works well. Keep in mind that less is more, so there’s no need to bare all to get his attention.
Also be sure to sport your sexiest lingerie. This doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going to be lucky enough to see it, but just knowing what you’re hiding underneath your clothes will make you feel like a fierce vixen.
Once in public, make a point to freshen up before approaching your target. Give your hair a brush, re-apply your lipstick, clean up any smudged eyeliner and straighten your shirt or skirt. An extra dash of perfume doesn’t hurt either.
Know Your Target
Depending on the kind of guy you’re after, your attack method will vary. For instance, an outgoing guy will be much more susceptible to obvious flirty banter, whereas a shy guy may find himself speechless or scamper away.
To get an idea of the type of man you’re planning to approach, make note of the role he plays in his social circle. Is he the life of the party, or a docile listener? Does he grasp at the spotlight, or sit patiently and observe.
Also note his body language. Is he expressive with his hands, or does he smile and laugh a lot? Does he look bored, annoyed or as though he doesn’t want to be there?
All of these cues can help you with formulating your approach tactic.
Be a Conversationalist
Once you muster up the courage to approach the guy you’re hoping to pick up, it’s important that you have some conversation topics in mind.
You won’t be able to preplan the entire conversation, because how he responds is going to play a big part in how the conversation unravels. However, you can save yourself the embarrassment of not having anything to say to him once you’ve caught his eye.
You probably know from experience how pathetic the same old pickup lines sound, so take a few moments to think of a good, original lead. Maybe you choose to comment on something in sight, or perhaps you compliment him on what he’s wearing.
If you feel like you’re hitting it off with a man, don’t be afraid to lean in close and whisper in his ear. This will spark attraction and desire between the two of you.
If you give off the vibe that you’re down and out on life then you’re going to have a hard time winning over any man. Just like you’re not interested in chatting with a soul-sucking stranger, neither is he.
On the other hand, what will work is if you show him how much fun you are to be around.
Since men are attracted to the kind of women who make them feel good, by radiating positivity you’ll have him interested in no time.
A good way to show him your playful, outgoing side is through laughing and flirting. Of course you don’t want to overdo it or you may come across as a bit ditsy, but if you show him that you don’t take life too seriously and that you have a sense of humour, he’ll be transfixed on you.
Be sure to note your body language, too. Crossed arms and a slouch won’t give him a positive impression if you’re looking to pick up. What will however is open body language, a toothy smile and pleasant attitude.
Seal the Deal
Often times women worry about being the “alpha” or “needy” one in relationships, but if you want to get somewhere with a man you’ve just met, then don’t be afraid to take the lead and say so.
This doesn’t mean you have to blatantly admit that you want him, but instead simply inviting him back to your place for a drink after the bar, or asking him to meet up for coffee in the next few days will let him know that you would like to see him again.
Again though, there is a fine line here. If you make it too known that you’re smitten by him or seem desperate then you’ll be seen as an easy catch and he probably won’t have as much interest in you.
Instead be mysterious and make him feel like he’s won the lottery meeting you.