Do you get the feeling that this is the end for your marriage?
Is your spouse no longer interested in being with you?
Have arguments taken centre stage while the love you once had for one another is nowhere to be found?
I’m going to give you 4 ways to fix your dying marriage before its too late. Follow this advice exactly and your marriage will be saved.
4 Ways To Fix Your Dying Marriage
It’s not easy to fix a dying marriage but it is possible. These are the four best ways to get a handle on your marriage problems and turn them around.
1.) Accept that your marriage is in crisis.
Now, here’s the good news, folks: if you’re here, then you’ve already at least partly accomplished this first step to save your marriage.
In most cases, a relationship that’s failing is not going to fix itself.
The first key to fixing things is to accept that the marriage is failing and that you need to take action to repair it.
This can actually be a difficult thing to recognize when it’s happening in your own relationship, but once you acknowledge the challenging situation you’re facing, you can then begin to work on undoing the damage and breaking out of the negative cycles in the marriage that have led you to this point.
2.) Use my Dispute Defusing System to prevent further damage.
Many couples facing a marriage crisis arrive at this point because of ongoing toxic, attraction-killing arguments.
This isn’t the case 100% of the time — sometimes marital problems can arise out of a single incident like cheating — but usually ongoing bickering and arguments are a major problem and are often a sign that your spouse wants to get divorced.
Solving the underlying issues that lead to major disagreements can take time and be very difficult, but you can do a number of simple things that will ensure these arguments don’t become toxic or cause any further damage to your marriage.
I’ve developed a series of easily-implemented techniques and tricks, which I call the Dispute Defusing System, that will either prevent an argument from starting or ensure things don’t get out of hand and spiral into attraction-killing screaming matches that cause permanent damage to your relationship.
I go into more detail on the Dispute Defusing System here.
Here’s just one quick example technique you can implement immediately, though. Next time you have a complaint or issue to bring up to your spouse, make sure you avoid using the word “you” and instead phrase your concern with the word “I”
For example, don’t say to your partner…
“You’re always leaving dirty dishes in the kitchen sink, why can’t you just put them in the dishwasher!?”
Instead, you could phrase the same concern more along the lines of…
“I noticed there’s often dishes left in the sink, which I find frustrating… can we both try to put dirty dishes in the dishwasher instead of leaving them in the sink?”
It’s a subtle change, but you’d be shocked at how small tweaks to your own behaviour can help avoid toxic arguments and slowly improve the connection with your spouse.
3.) Share positive, fun experiences with your partner.
Here’s another tip that might sound a bit silly at first, but that can make a huge difference to the health of your marriage.
Think about the early days of your relationship… you and your spouse were probably excited to spend time together, and most of your time spent together was filled with positive, fun, and happy shared memories.
Sure, there were likely some disagreements from time to time, but the ratio of “positive” to “negative” time spent together was heavily tilted towards the positive.
But, what about now? If you’re like many couples in a marriage crisis, then the ratio is likely tilted far more towards the negative.
That means that for every fun date night or weekend adventure you spend with your spouse–fun, happy times together, essentially–there’s probably an equal amount of time spent angry at one another or engaged in bickering or arguments.
There’s a simple way to shift things back to the way they used to be, which is to focus on building happy memories and sharing fun times together with your spouse.
It can be as simple as suggesting to your husband that you go to a baseball game this weekend when the kids are with their grandparents, or agreeing to attend a weeknight yoga class with your spouse. Spending time together as a family is also important.
As long as you’re having fun and showing your spouse a good time, it’s going to breathe some life back into your marriage and show your spouse that things can still be as fun and positive as they were in the early days of your relationship.
Often we tend to get too used to constant arguing and disagreements with our spouses, and forget that fun and intimacy are the basis of every healthy marriage.
Don’t forget that, and make sure you have more positive time spent with your spouse to balance out any negative feelings and interactions.
Sexual intimacy is also a key component of any marriage, so try not to neglect that side of your relationship either.
Sex definitely counts as “positive time spent together”, and sexually satisfied partners are far more likely to want to remain married.
4.) Get my ongoing coaching help to save your marriage.
Whether you’ve already tried marriage counseling or not, there’s no more affordable way to improve the chances of repairing your marriage than to sign up for my ongoing 1-on-1 coaching. You can learn more about hiring me as your personal marriage coach–and I promise it’s not nearly as expensive as you might think–by clicking here.