Unrealistic Expectations Can Keep You From Finding Happiness
By Mark Belmont
Sometimes — and we’re all guilty of it at times — we fall into a “Hollywood” reality when it comes to love and relationships. If you’ve ever watched a romantic movie (The Notebook, for example), then you probably know what I’m talking about.
Women seem to be particularly susceptible to this sort of “perfect romance” fallacy that we see in the movies so often, but it affects men too.
No Relationship Is Perfect
In fact, it’s unlikely you’ll ever be able to find a relationship that’s within 100 miles of “perfect.” The simple reality is, whether you believe in the concept of “soulmates” or not, you’re never going to find a partner that will make you happy 100 percent of the time.
Even the most devoted couples, who remain deeply in love throughout their entire lives, will tell you that there were many fights and rough patches along the way.
Maybe it’s his annoying habit of leaving toothpaste on the bathroom counter. Maybe it’s her insistence that you spend every Christmas with the in-laws.
Maybe it’s a slightly different view of what constitutes the “perfect holiday.” Maybe it’s all of the above.
Give And Take Thing
Anyone who enjoys a happy marriage, and has for many years, will tell you that marriage and relationships are a game of give and take. They’re not perfect … and they never will be.
That doesn’t mean you can’t find a partner who will make you smile every morning, or that you can’t find someone you love so much you can’t fathom ever being with someone else.
What it does mean is that you simply cannot expect perfection from your partner or from your love life in general. That type of relationship simply doesn’t exist. And the sooner you realize and accept that, the sooner you’ll find inner peace and contentment (with your love life, anyway).
Unfortunately, for some people, it can take a long time to realize and accept that no perfect relationship or “perfect man” or “perfect girl” is out there waiting for you.
Again, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a guy or girl who will make you truly happy and that you’ll be proud to call your spouse … but it does mean that you need to stop chasing “perfection,” and start chasing “really good.”
Most people realize all of this eventually — maybe you have already. Talk to a couple that’s been married for 40 years, and you’ll quickly see that sometimes pragmatism and compromise are key ingredients to a successful relationship.
But if you’re one of those people that’s still chasing the Hollywood version of love or marriage, then it’s time to wake up and accept the fact hat perfection simply doesn’t exist — and if you’re always chasing it, you’ll never find happiness.
Mark Belmont
Mark Belmont, BSc, is a cross between Giorgio Armani and David DeAngelo. He’s a style and fashion consultant with a passion for helping single men improve their dating and love life. Mark’s list of “Universally Attractive” fashion and grooming tips has turned thousands of average men into dapper, well-dressed James Bonds.