What should you do if you’re trying to get a second chance with your ex, but they’ve started to pull away or grow cold and distant?
How can you turn things around to make them miss you, want you, and change their mind about breaking up?
Well you need to choose your next move carefully, or you risk losing them for good.
What To Do If Your Ex Loses Interest
So what should you do if your ex grows cold, becomes distant, or seemingly loses interest?
Now, this kind of situation is actually pretty common. Even if you’ve done everything right since the breakup — you followed all the strategies I recommend in my program, you’ve been patient and employed a period of No Contact, and maybe you even made some good progress with your ex and felt like you were starting to change their mind about the breakup.
But then… you hit a brick wall and your ex starts taking longer to reply to your messages, or ignores them altogether.
They stop showing signs of interest, and start backing away or appear to be growing more and more distant.
This is a scary situation for anyone hoping to get a second chance with their ex, but as you’ll learn in this video, it doesn’t mean you should completely lose hope.
The Problem Isn’t Your Ex… It’s You
First of all, I want to make one thing perfectly clear: for most people facing this kind of situation, the danger is not that their ex is losing interest… it’s what they typically do in reaction to their ex’s cold and distant behaviour.
Most people start to panic at this point, and they begin to make mistakes that only serve to further hurt their chances.
That’s because the natural instinct for anyone in this scenario is to chase their ex even more aggressively… they’ll reach out to their ex more frequently and start becoming desperate.
This is the WRONG way to handle things, but unfortunately I see my clients make this mistake very regularly.
The right way to respond to this type of situation is to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
Of course, this is the opposite of what every fibre in your body is telling you to do.
You WANT to pick up the phone and call your ex to ask what they’re doing or why they suddenly cancelled your plans to go for coffee…. Fear of losing your ex makes you want to tighten your grip on the situation and take action to stop the downward spiral.
But you can’t do that. You need to have enough self-control to avoid making that mistake. The last thing you want to do if your ex suddenly seems to be backing away or losing interest is to try and actively prevent it. You can’t show your ex that their coldness or apathy bothers you, and you can’t show any signs of neediness or desperation.
If you start spamming your ex with multiple messages… if you begin asking them things like this
hey why aren’t you responding??
do you just hate me now??
you’re only going to make your ex even more irritated by pestering them, and your desperation will become very obvious.
This will slowly destroy the progress you’ve made up to that point, and make it more difficult to change how your ex feels about you and the possibility of getting back together.
So, if you recognize that you’re in this kind of situation, here’s what you need to do: take a deep breath, and do whatever you have to in order to prevent yourself from panicking or taking any kind of drastic action.
To begin with, don’t contact your ex at all for at least a few days… or preferably even longer. Sometimes, depending on how far along you are in the process of winning him or her back, you might need to avoid contact for several weeks.
Remember: pretty much ANYTHING you try to do to actively change how your ex feels, or to try and stop them from growing cold and distant, is only going to have the opposite effect.
I know this is a lot harder than it sounds, especially if you’re terrified that you might be losing them for good. But please, please trust me on this. I’ve been a breakup coach for over 13 years, and I can promise you that if you start getting desperate or pester your ex at this point, you’re only going to put a nail in the coffin and kill your chances of ever getting them back.
How To Attract Your Ex
Now, here’s a few more tips to take note of when your ex is pulling away.
1. Don’t talk about the situation with your friends or family, either, if you can avoid it.
This is especially true when it comes to mutual friends, who might tell your ex if they hear you complaining about their sudden change of heart and lack of interest.
2. Keep yourself occupied and stay busy.
If you don’t stay busy you’ll torture yourself by overanalyzing and worrying about everything your ex says and does.
It’s best to try and think about your ex as little as possible while you’re in this situation… talking about it with friends might feel good, but it actually just fixates your thoughts on the issue and causes your fears and anxiety to get worse.
3. C0nsider re-engaging in a period of No Contact.
Often, ignoring your ex for a while — a week or two, for instance — can solve the problem.
It’s common for people to have mixed feelings and up-and-down mood swings after a breakup, and your ex may just be in a ‘down’ phase at the moment, hence the cold and distant behaviour.
At the very least, by ignoring your ex when you sense him or her backing away, you’re ensuring that you don’t make matters worse.
4. Bring back some fun and humour to any interactions with your ex.
If you still get the sense your ex is losing interest and backing away after you cut off contact for a while, then your next step is to break the ice with something FUN and super brief and casual… for instance, don’t re-open the lines of communication by asking your ex if they want to talk about your breakup.
Well, I actually strongly recommend you do NOT do that, but I think you know what I mean… don’t say anything that might come across as needy, boring, or require an extensive response from your ex.
Instead, just make him or her laugh. Share an inside joke or short anecdote that happened to you recently. Or send them a link to a funny Tik Tok video or meme. Or bring up a happy nostalgic memory that will bring a smile to your ex’s face.
Whatever it is, just keep it short, upbeat, and friendly. Act like there’s nothing wrong and you’re not worried or panicked about their recent coldness. These are the kinds of things that will make your ex WANT to talk to you, and you can build on it from there…
5. Always remember not to show any desperation or fall back into any old needy or clingy habits.
Make your ex want to talk to you and be around you, and they’ll stop backing away and start to regain interest.
The more you try to tighten your grip on your ex and on the situation, the further you’ll push them away.
By being calm and collected and acting like you don’t really care about them anymore, you’ll inject some urgency to the situation and make them wonder why you’re not chasing after them like they’re expecting.
6. Take my free quiz and follow the custom recommendations in your quiz results report.
When you take my free 5-minute quiz, you’ll see a detailed results report that explains your chances of getting them back, along with a series of specific recommended actions you should be taking to maximize your odds moving forward.