What if you could win your ex back with only the power of your thoughts?
Can you manifest your ex back into your life?
This is called the law of attraction.
First off, what exactly is the law of attraction? It’s something you’ve probably heard bits and pieces of online because it’s got such a huge and devoted following. Basically the law of attraction is a philosophy.
The idea is that positive thoughts bring positive results into a person’s life, while negative thoughts bring negative outcomes. It is based on the belief that thoughts are a form of energy and that positive energy attracts success in all areas of life, including health, finances, and relationships.
Now you can dismiss this as pseudoscience but just go with me on this journey and I’ll tell you how it can work for you, even if you’re a skeptic.
I think of it like this: your entire reality is dictated by your thoughts. All the information we get about the world–what we see, what we hear, and what we touch–it all passes through our brain and is influenced by our thoughts, our assumptions and our beliefs.
So really, no matter how logical you think you are, you can’t deny that thoughts and emotions dictate almost everything in your life.
And if you can gain control over your thoughts, you can gain control over your reality. Even if this doesn’t result in your ex being drawn to you like a magnet through your thoughts alone, it will set you up for the best possible result when the two of you do reunite.
That’s the beauty of the law of attraction. Even if you’re skeptical, it just feels good to go through these exercises. It boosts your confidence and improves your self image.
So how does it work exactly? Essentially the law of attraction will allow you to manifest your ex back into your life through positive thinking. By putting out good energy into the universe, you will get good energy back. The same can be said of just about anything else: if you broadcast it, you will receive it in return.
In this case, you’re sending the message that you and your ex should be together and by doing so, you’re giving yourself the best chance that they will return to you. Just follow these simple steps:
Step 1: Clarify Why You Want Your Ex Back
This is probably the most important step in this process. Intention is so important REGARDLESS of how you’re trying to get your ex back. You need to know the WHY before you move onto the HOW…otherwise you’re going to fail nine times out of ten.
So sit down, take a second, and really ask yourself WHY you want your ex back.
Avoid negative reasons like loneliness, pain around the breakup, and the desire to make up for past mistakes. These reasons are valid but they’re not what you should be focusing on right now.
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Think of the positives that your ex brought into your life. Think of the life that you want to create together. These should be your primary reasons for wanting your ex back.
Write these down on a piece of paper, on your phone or your computer. It’s important to see these words written out so that they really sink in.
Now think of the positive qualities your ex has and how you feel when you’re together. These are the things that make your partner unique and special. They’re why you want THEM rather than someone new. Write these down as well.
Read over what you have written and really try to absorb these things. When you feel doubt or confusion, return to this piece of paper to guide you.
Step 2: Visualize Being Back With Your Ex
The next step requires you to sit quietly and visualize. Find somewhere quiet where you will be free from disturbances.
I want to acknowledge that for many of you this is going to feel a little silly but trust me when I say that this is going to help you get your ex back in the long run, even if it’s only getting you into a better mindset, it’s going to be worth the bit of discomfort you feel, so give yourself over to the process and enjoy it.
Now close your eyes and picture being with your ex.
I want to clarify that you shouldn’t be recalling old memories of times you were together…you need to create NEW scenarios where you two are spending time together. So imagine a date you might go on, or a trip you’d take together. Be concrete here and take it step by step. What do you see? What do you hear? What do you feel?
Imagine a situation three months from now when you two are back together and this breakup is starting to fade from memory. You’re happy and you can’t remember why the two of you even broke up in the first place. Now imagine a time five years down the road. You two are living together and you’ve created a life together that’s solid as a rock. Everyone is impressed by your stability. You’re that perfect couple that people dream of being.
Now I know that some people struggle to create pictures in their mind. If you’re in that group then focus on the feeling you’d get in these situations.
Really, that’s the most important thing anyway. Stay with that feeling as long as you can and if you find self-doubt and negative feelings creeping in, try to let them go and return to the feeling of being with your ex.
Now open your eyes. It may be difficult but exercises like this can shift you out of a negative spiral and into a hopeful place where you’re one step closer to reuniting with your ex. And if you feel it helped you, feel free to return to this exercise as often as you’d like.
Step 3: Address Your Limiting Beliefs
This next step is about witnessing and addressing the thoughts that are keeping you from being with your ex.
These thoughts are often unconscious but they’re things that you feel on a deep level and they’re the reason that you feel so stuck and hopeless right now–these are your LIMITING beliefs.
Many of these thoughts contributed to the breakup in the first place–thoughts like “everyone always leaves me” or “I’m unloveable” or “I can’t make someone else happy”
Others have cropped up due to the breakup itself. These are thoughts like “They’re too good for me” and “they never loved me” and “they were just waiting for someone better to come along”
These beliefs have formed as a result of past negative experiences. The problem is that once you start feeling this way, it becomes self fulfilling. You think “I can’t make a relationship last” and suddenly you get nervous in a relationship and sabotage it. You think “I’m unlovable” so you don’t trust anyone who loves you. Can you see how this creates a destructive cycle?
Once you start noticing these beliefs, you’ll see them in all different parts of your life. And the thing about them is that they’re just beliefs. Once you can see them, you gain power over them and can replace them with beliefs that really serve you.
This step requires a lot of introspection and self monitoring. When you find yourself stuck in a negative spiral, rather than falling deeper, take a moment to look at the beliefs that are behind your feelings and you’ll be one step closer to breaking the cycle.
It’s not going to be easy to replace your limiting beliefs…it’s going to take time and effort but if you can be diligent about it you will improve your self image and eliminate many of your negative feelings.
Step 4: Use Positive Affirmations
One of the best ways to replace limiting beliefs is with positive affirmations. Now I know that many people will really struggle with the idea of using positive affirmations–I know I did. You may feel like this kind of “new age” stuff is a waste of time and energy but I think that your real resistance comes from a place of discomfort.
It makes you feel arrogant to say these kinds of things about yourself. You feel like you don’t deserve to feel good about yourself in this way. I want you to try to resist this feeling.
Being confident doesn’t mean that you’re arrogant. It simply means that you care about yourself and you want your life to be as good as it can be.
Now, set aside five minutes, find a quiet, private place and repeat after me:
- I am lovable and worthy of receiving love.
- I open my heart and trust that true love will arrive.
- I know that my ex is waiting for me.
- I draw love and romance into my life with ease.
- I trust that my intuition will lead me to where I need to go.
- My ex is the perfect partner for me.
- I am attracting a relationship with my ex based on love, honesty, and respect.
- I am attracting love into my life and I accept it.
Not all of these affirmations will feel right to you but find one or two that work for you and repeat this process as needed. The more you do it, the more you’re going to find that it really works to improve your confidence and sense of self worth.
Step 5: Assume Your Ex Is Already Coming Back To You
When you think about your ex, what comes to mind immediately? If it hasn’t been long since the breakup, you probably feel pain, shame and heartbreak. This is a perfectly natural reaction but it’s a reaction that is no longer helping you.
I want you to reframe your thoughts on this one. The breakup is in the past. It already happened. You’ll never be farther from your ex than you were that first night, alone in your bed after they told you they didn’t want to be with you anymore.
From here on out, you’re only getting closer to your ex. By following the steps, you’ve started moving in the direction of your ex. By processing the breakup and getting back to life as normal, you’re getting closer to being with your ex. And by continuing to think
positive thoughts, you’re actively attracting your ex to you.
Now I know that you aren’t always going to feel this way. You’ll have trouble accepting this mindset at first, and when you have setbacks and difficulties, you’re going to slip back into the old negative thoughts and limiting beliefs… try to resist this and return to the positive tools that I’ve provided you.
Remember that the law of attraction isn’t magical. It’s not going to deliver your ex to you on a silver platter but it will create the mindset that will naturally attract your ex so you can have the second chance that you want and deserve.
Now’s the part where many of you are probably asking “how long is this going to take?” That’s a thought that you need to try to get out of your mind for now. If you’re checking the calendar, waiting for your ex to walk through the door, you’re not properly engaging with this process. Remember that everything WILL work out as long as you keep this mindset so the amount of time it takes isn’t relevant.
I will say that if it’s been months since your breakup and you haven’t heard anything from your ex, the time may have come for you to reach out to them. If you’ve followed my instructions so far then you’ll be in a much better place emotionally and this will be immediately apparent to your ex and they’re going to like what they see.