Being newly wed is one of the most joyous, exciting times of your life. But that’s not to say it doesn’t come with hardships. Once you and your partner settle down it’s important to keep heading in a positive direction together. To help you do so, follow these six habits from day one of your marriage. When you do, you’ll have a strong foundation for a lifetime of happiness.
1. Practice Gratitude
Make a point to express gratitude to your spouse on a daily basis. It doesn’t have to be an over the top gesture to show that you appreciate them, but a simple “Thank you” or acknowledgement of their efforts goes a long way.
Many couples fall into the habit of expecting things from their spouse, which results in them only showing their gratitude for the bigger or surprise gestures, such as dinners out or surprise flowers. What they fail to notice is that there are dozens of things to be thankful for each and every day.
For instance, making their coffee in the morning or doing the laundry, taking the dog for a walk or filling up the car’s gas tank. Getting into the habit of noticing all the little things your spouse does for you and your family is a great way to practice gratitude.
Best of all is that when you do start recognizing your spouse’s hard work, they’ll not only feel appreciated, but it will also motivate them to keep it up.
2. Don’t Keep Secrets from Each Other
It’s a well know fact that secrets kill marriages. Keeping information from your spouse is a dangerous path to take, and even if what you’re holding back is hard to share, it’s important to practice openness and honesty with your spouse.
The truth is, you and your spouse are both going to make mistakes along the way. When this happens, the best thing to do is approach your partner immediately and talk things through.
When you admit to your wrongdoings and deal with the issue quickly, it’s much easier to overcome the problem and forgive one another.
On the other hand, if you keep secrets from one another, then you’re going to have a hard time having a happy marriage.
One of the biggest problems with keeping secrets is that if your spouse discovers the truth sometime down the road, it will be much tougher to deal with the issue. However, before that happens, keeping secrets will make you paranoid about your spouse finding out, which can result in a web of lies to cover all your bases. Instead of getting wrapped up in this mess, simply make honesty a key part of your marriage from day one.
3. Give Each Other Space
One of the most exciting things about getting married is that you and your spouse get to combine your lives. You live together, sleep together, perhaps have children together and spend the majority of your free time enjoying the perks of marriagehood together.
While that’s all peachy, it is important to make a point in living your own lives, too. Just because you share the same last name it doesn’t mean you lose all the things that were a part of your life before marriage.
Make a point in giving one another space to do their own thing. Whether that means going to a yoga class or watching football with the guys, it’s crucial that you allow your spouse to continue doing the things they love, hassle free.
Sure there will be times when you need to compromise, but the point is to continue pursuing your hobbies, interests and dreams. Doing so will allow you to find pleasure in your own separate lives, which will avoid the deadly mistake of relying on one another for happiness. Best of all, is that when you do come together, your individual experiences will enrich your relationship.
4. Make Your Relationship a Priority
No matter how busy you may be with work, kids, or your social life, it’s important to always make your marriage a priority. This may sound obvious, but it’s insane how quickly time can slip through your fingers. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months and before you know it, that Saturday night date you intended to go on was suppose to have happened six months ago.
Just because you are married it doesn’t give you an excuse to let things slide between you and your spouse. In fact, you should work harder than ever to keep the romance and passion alive.
Make a point in setting aside at least an hour a day for one another to talk and share your thoughts, free of distraction. Also set aside at least one night a week for you to go on dates, have romantic outings, try new hobbies, and enjoy one another’s company. Passion can fade if you don’t put time and energy into it, so from day one of your marriage, be sure to keep your flame burning.
5. Create Online Boundaries
In a world where social media has become the main form of social interaction, it can be a tricky thing to navigate the relationships you’ve created online with the commitment you’ve made to your husband or wife.
In order to properly protect your marriage, it’s important to set boundaries together. For instance, maybe you decide that your spouse won’t keep in touch with their past lovers, or perhaps you promise to be completely honest about who it is you’re speaking with. These rules depend completely on your comfortability as a married couple.
As wonderful as the internet may be, it does open up a whole new door when it comes to emotionally cheating on your spouse. Since everything is instant, a seemingly innocent conversation can quickly, and perhaps unintentionally, lead to something more. If you don’t have any rules set in place, a classic one to follow is this: Don’t do anything that you wouldn’t want your spouse doing. If you ever feel that someone or something may threaten your marriage, then cut ties and move on. It’s not worth it.
6. Don’t Let the Little Things Bother You
Even if you’ve lived with your spouse before marriage or spent every other day together, once you get married you’ll start to notice little things about your spouse that bug you. For instance, maybe they snore too loud at night or bite their fork when they eat. Perhaps they don’t fully clean up after shaving or have a habit of drinking from the milk carton. Whatever it is, it’s important to not let these pet peeves ruin your marriage.
Sure, you will have your days where your spouse drives you insane, but if you choose to see your spouse through a lens that constantly annoys you, you will be miserable in your marriage.
Instead, choose to see your spouse for the entirety of who they are, quirks and all. Keep all the wonderful qualities they possess at the front of your mind, and remember, you probably have some less than favourable habits, too!