Despite what you may believe, it doesn’t take knowing all the Kama Sutra positions, hours of watching porn or loads of experience to be awesome in bed. Instead, it comes down to more realistic and personable factors. If you’re interested in heating up your love life by becoming an incredible sex god or goddess, then here are 10 tips to follow. Do these, and you’ll be tantalizingly irresistible.
1. Have An Open Mind
When it comes to sex, trying new things can be intimidating. However, if you take them on with an open mind your sex life will explore endless possibilities of pleasure. Even if ideas like props, role playing or costumes don’t sound like your thing, give them a chance, you may be surprised by what you end up enjoying. Remember, sex is meant to be fun so make yours an adventure with no stone unturned!
At the same time, everyone does have their boundaries and limits. Never feel pressured or ashamed to say no if you’re uncomfortable in a situation. It’s your body; Treat it with love.
2. Be Innovative and Adaptable
It’s no secret that doing the same thing over and over again will drain the excitement and passion from your love making. Instead of letting boredom creep into your routine, be innovative and adaptable by adding some new moves, places, times or positions to your mix.
For instance, if you’re usually gentle on the bottom, try getting aggressive on top. Look around your home with new eyes and make note of spots or props that would make for an interesting sexy time. The key to being a great sex partner is being creative, so get your freak on and spice things up!
3. Don’t Be Self Conscious
The sexiest things a person can wear is confidence, so to have amazing sex it’s important to leave your insecurities at the door. If you’re focused on hiding areas of your body, turning off the lights or complaining about your appearance then you’ll rob you and your partner of the full intimate experience.
Amazing sex needs passion, enthusiasm and sex appeal, so bring those to the party. Even if you have to fake your confidence, so do.
You’ll be surprised at how good it feels to be completely open to love and your partner will find your boldness irresistible. And hey, you may even start to see the siren you are!
4. Know When to Get Loud
You’ve probably seen it in a movie or comedy sketch, but chances are you’ve heard of “the screamer.” You know, the person who’s obnoxiously loud during sex? As much as unnecessary volume can be a turn off, silence is also a mood killer. Instead, know when to get loud. When the sex feels great, let loose and verbally express yourself. Partners look for cues during love making and holding back your ecstasy may make them think they’re doing a poor job or not pleasuring you. Be a great partner and let them know when it feels good.
5. Know When to Laugh
Sex isn’t meant to be some serious, uptight experience, and someone who is good in bed can see the fun and humour in it. The act of sex is one of the greatest forms of being playful and entertaining to one another.
Like children on a playground, being able to laugh in the bedroom brings a new, exciting element to your sex life. Failed positions, bumped body parts and strange sounds happen.
Just roll with it, giggle it off and enjoy yourself. It makes for great sex.
6. Be Spontaneous
One of the hottest things you can do is take the reins and surprise your partner with spontaneous sex. Whether it’s waking them up with oral pleasure or seducing them as they walk in the door, the little things that are out of the norm are great ways to get hot and steamy.
Not every moment of your sex life needs to be scheduled or planned. In fact, it’s those unexpected sessions that keep things feeling fresh. When you feel an urge or instinct coming over you, act on it. Doing so will take sex to a whole new level, and your partner will not soon forget them.
7. Explore Your Body
This doesn’t mean connecting freckles or examining your fingernails, but simply put, to masturbate and discover what feels good. When you’re in tune with your body and aware of what turns you on, you’ll be a better lover and sex will become even more enjoyable.
If you’re worried about the old myth that masturbating will ruin your sex drive, don’t fear, it won’t. Actually, quite the opposite will happen. Also make note when you have a sensual thought or feel randomly aroused. This is your body letting you know what it desires. Have fun with yourself, find out what makes you tick and then tell, or better yet, show your partner.
8. Put Their Needs First
Selfishness is one of those things that can totally ruin your bedroom magic, which is why practicing compassion in the sack is a key quality of a good sex partner. It’s important to make your partner’s needs a priority. Now, this doesn’t mean that you always have to put their desires ahead of your own, but it can be super sexy to focus on pleasing your partner every once in awhile (especially when you do so without expecting anything in return).
Whether it’s a matter of trying a position they love, treating them to oral, having sex in the morning or doing it in a space they enjoy, believe that these acts will not go unnoticed.
9. Don’t Judge
Being judgemental of your partner’s desires or suggestions will without doubt cause them to hold back or bite their tongue in the future. Since the point of sex is to feel connected to your partner, pushing them away with your critical comments is not going to serve you well.
Instead, be open to your partner’s fantasies and turn-ons, put your judgements aside, and listen attentively. You may even be surprised to find that some of their thoughts and ideas turn you on, too!
10. Connect Outside the Bedroom
Don’t designate your bedroom as your intimacy palace. While it’s common to associate sex with the bed, avoid developing the mentality that the bedroom is the only place to intimately engage your partner.
Instead, take time to build bonds, both physical and emotional, in other areas of your life. This may mean going for walks together or exploring new interests, increasing your physical touch outside of sex or removing distractions (t.v., phone, etc.) from your conversations.
Do whatever it takes to feel fully connected to your partner. When you do, your sex life will improve tenfold.