loser boyfriend

6 Things To Look For In A Potential Boyfriend

One of the best ways to avoid the heartache and loneliness associated with a bad breakup is to avoid dating the wrong guy in the first place.  Easier said than done, right?  That’s true, but if you know what to look for, you can weed out the bad apples before you get too deep into a relationship.

With that in mind, here are six traits that you can evaluate in a potential date before you fall for him completely.  (I recognize, by the way, that all women have different preferences when it comes to men… but generally speaking, asking these six questions can help you gauge whether a guy is worth your time or not.

  1. lie detector testAssess his willingness to commit.  This is probably the single most common issue that women face when falling in love with a guy.  If you’re looking for a serious, long-term relationship, then you need to find out if he’s looking for the same thing before you get too deep into a relationship with him.  Now, many guys will prefer to avoid the topic altogether, but you can subtly ask him about his plans for the future, his desire to settle down and get married, etc.  If he’s not willing to commit, and you want commitment from your man, then this is definitely something to watch out for. [RELATED:  How To Overcome Fear of Commitment]

  2. Evaluate his social life.  It’s not a hard and fast rule, but typically speaking, quality men will lead an active social life.  Think about it:  if someone has no friends and rarely engages in social activities, then that probably indicates they’re not a well-liked person.  Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with a quiet guy who prefers watching a movie to partying with friends, but you should at least take the time to assess a man’s social circle before you commit to a serious relationship with him.
  3. Ask about his goals and ambitions. Do you want to spend years (or potentially the rest of your life) with a man whose sole ambition in life is to master the latest video game?  If you want to find a stable partner and enjoy a healthy relationship, make sure any potential partner has at least some life goals and ambitions.
  4. Evaluate his maturity.  An immature guy — especially one without much experience in serious relationships — probably isn’t ready to commit to a long-term romantic relationship.  As a result, you’ll want to carefully evaluate a guy’s overall maturity level and make sure that it meets your “minimum standards.”
  5. Make sure he is what he says he is.  Let’s be honest here:  most guys aren’t living a double life or hiding big secrets.  But, just like some women hide behind a veil of lies, there are men out there who have a shady side that you might not see at first.  Don’t go snooping around a guy’s apartment or dig through his past income tax records, just take the time to ask questions and learn about his life to make sure he’s not pretending to be something he’s not.
  6. Assess whether he’s sufficiently “into you”.  The last thing you want to do is to have to talk a man into loving you or staying together.  A potential lover — especially if you’re looking for a serious, long-term romance — should be just as attracted to you and interested in you as you are in him.  Make sure that the ‘spark’ of your relationship is mutual.  [RELATED:  What Men Want In A Girlfriend]

If you can successfully check off all six of the things mentioned above, then you’re in good shape to move forward with a guy.  And trust me, doing your homework in advance can go a long way towards preventing heartbreak in the future!

Do you have any other suggestions for evaluating a potential boyfriend? Let us know in the comments section below!

About Jessica Raymond

Jessica Raymond, BSc, RCC, is LoveLearnings senior editor. As a relationship counselor, Jessica has helped hundreds of men and women achieve their relationship dreams. Whether it’s finding your one true love or simply charming someone on a date, Jessica's got your back! In her articles, she reveals little-known, psychological tips that will make even the coldest person chase you around like a little puppy.

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