Your ex dumped you. You’ve made it clear that you want them back but they won’t even consider giving you a second chance. But now they say they miss you?
Are they playing mind games?
Do they want you back?
I’ll tell you exactly what’s going through your ex’s mind when he or she says “I miss you”, what they want, and how you can use this exchange to win them back.
Why Does My Ex Say They Miss Me?
Your ex dumped you. They won’t take you back but now they say that they miss you… what does it mean? Are they lying? Do they secretly want you back but can’t admit it?
First off, you need to understand what your ex is feeling right now.
If you’ve ever ended a relationship, you know how difficult it can be. Your ex’s feelings didn’t simply disappear the moment they decided to dump you…even if you made some horrible mistake like cheating on them.
In fact, this break up can actually increase your ex’s love and empathy towards you as they’ll focus on the good times and start to romanticize you now that you’re no longer in their life.
Here’s the whole truth: just because they dumped you it doesn’t mean that it’s any less difficult for them. In fact, it can be much more complicated and difficult for them to move forward. That’s because your ex is still thinking about you, and wondering if they made the right choice.
You at least have a clear goal… you want to get your ex back and rebuild your relationship. They’re unsure of themselves and conflicted over their choice to end the relationship. They feel truly lost.
Why You Have The Advantage Here
This is where you have the advantage. You can use your confidence and strong desire to steer the relationship back towards reconciliation. Coming up I’ll tell you exactly how to respond to their message to maximize your chances of getting your ex back, for good
But this will only work if you stay strong and don’t take the bait. Whether or not your ex knows it, they’re manipulating your feelings for them in order to gain some positive validation.
When they say “I miss you”, they’re trying to make you say “I miss you too”….
Even if it hurts, it will make them feel good to know that you miss them and this little boost of confidence can be enough to take them through the hard days ahead.
In essence, they’re actually using you as emotional support to be able to move on from your relationship.
So trust me when I say DO NOT tell them you miss them, you love them, or you want them to come back to you.
This is the same reason you shouldn’t sleep with your ex, spend time with them, or even be in contact for the first 30 days after breaking up.
You want your ex to regret the decision they made and really feel your absence in their life.
But you also don’t want to shut them down completely. I know your feelings are hurt so it may be tempting to strike back at your ex in anger.
While it might be satisfying in the moment, in the long run you’re destroying your chances to get back together…and I’m guessing that’s not what you want.
How To Respond To This Message
So how should you respond? Simple…. Don’t. All you need to do is simply avoid responding at all. If you’re still in your no contact period, keep it that way.
But what if it’s been more than 30 days, you’re back in contact and things seem to be going in a positive direction? You still don’t want to respond directly to this message.
Simply act like they never sent the message and continue your conversation like normal.
They know you saw it, you know you saw it, and by not responding, you’re sending a strong message that they can’t just come running back to you for emotional support after they dumped you.
I know, this is extremely difficult. It may even feel rude or dismissive of your ex.
You’ll probably feel like you’re missing out on an opportunity to win them back by ignoring this message…but trust me–this is the only way your ex will realize that they might lose you for good. This is a a simple way to make your ex chase you and that’s exactly what you want.
At this stage of reattraction, their “I miss you” message is a great sign.
While you shouldn’t reply to it directly, it can be an indicator that now is the time to move forward by meeting your ex in person.
Continue to play it cool and arrange for a short face-to-face meeting when you feel they’ll be most receptive.
Even if it’s just to exchange some possessions, reconnecting with your ex starts with seeing them one on one.
So what’s really behind their message? Does your ex really miss you? Most likely. Does your ex still love you? It’s definitely a good sign. Does this mean you’re going to get back together? Not unless you follow my advice.