When you want to know whether your ex still loves you, there are 4 very strong signals that you should be looking for.
These are things that your ex may have done or said since the breakup that will give you some insight into their current feelings, and whether or not they’re still in love with you.
So, if you want to know whether your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend loves you (even a little bit!)… you’re in the right place! Let’s get into it…
The Top 4 Signs Your Ex Is Still In Love With You
Before I dive into the first sign, I should mention that my free quiz tool is the single best way to evaluate your chances of getting an ex back. So, if you haven’t already done so, please take the quiz now to get a full evaluation of your current situation, and your odds of getting him or her back.
The second best way to tell whether your ex is still in love with you is to look for these 4 signs I’m about to cover.
Now, remember: it’s definitely still possible that your ex may have feelings for you even if they haven’t shown any of these 4 signals, so don’t lose all hope if that’s the case in your situation. (That being said, these signs are very strong indications that your ex is still thinking about you and missing you to some extent.)
SIGN #1: Your ex tries to maintain regular contact with you.
OK, now, I know this one is a bit of a no-brainer. Obviously, if an ex is reaching out to you regularly, it’s obvious that they’re still thinking about you, right?
Well, yes, it is that simple in some respects… But this becomes a stronger and stronger sign that your ex is still in love with you if it happens AFTER you’ve ignored some of their calls or texts previously, or if they continue to reach out regularly for months after you initially broke up.
If you’ve been employing No Contact for weeks now — and ignored some or all of your ex’s attempts to contact you in the past — but they’re still trying to reach out to you frequently, then that’s a very clear sign they can’t get you out of their head.
Similarly, the longer this continues after your breakup, the more it suggests your ex isn’t happy with the single life and is longing to have you back in their life.
The actual substance of your ex’s messages or calls is also important to determining how much you can read into these attempts to reach out. If they’re just asking you to pay the phone bill, return their favorite t-shirt, or asking you to refer a good local car mechanic — in other words, if it’s all business and no emotion when they contact you — then that’s not quite as strong a signal.
In fact, this ties in nicely with the second signal that indicates your ex still loves you…
SIGN #2: Your ex seems nostalgic, brings up happy shared memories, or references inside jokes and sexual innuendos.
If your ex is contacting you regularly, that’s usually a good sign. But, like I just mentioned, if what they’re actually saying is all “business” and not very emotional or heartfelt, that’s not nearly as strong of an indicator as if they seem to be nostalgic or regularly bringing up positive memories and innuendos.
I think this one is pretty self-explanatory, but let me spell it out for you: the more upbeat and reminiscent your ex is when talking to you, the more likely it is that they’re still in love with you.
For example, here’s some of the strongest indicators to look for:
- Slipping sexual references or innuendos when chatting with you
- Reminiscing about happy times you spent together
- Telling you outright that they’re missing you
- Telling you they’re longing for the “good old days” when you were a couple
- Being overly flirtatious and touching you often
^^ These are all usually a very clear indication they’re not fully committed to the breakup, and might be considering taking you back.
SIGN #3: Your ex remains upset, angry, or emotional weeks or months after the breakup.
Now, I fully expect this one to be a bit controversial, but in my 12+ years of experience as a breakup coach, I’ve learned that this is often actually a good sign.
Now, if you cheated on your ex with their best friend for years… if you lied often, hurt them badly, or murdered any of your ex’s friends or family members… then yes, those sorts of damaging actions are going to create anger and negative emotions that your ex won’t soon forget.
BUT… if you didn’t do anything that drastic to hurt your ex or cause them to become angry during the final days of your time together, then your ex holding on to some feelings of resentment or continuing to seem upset or annoyed at you can actually be a positive sign that they’re still emotionally invested in your relationship.
I’ve talked about this before in my past articles and videos, but here’s the deal: you need to help your ex return to “emotional neutral” so that they’re receptive to your attempts to reach out and re-build attraction.
Finally, though, let’s move on to the last sign. This final one, in my experience, is the strongest indicator that your ex is still in love with you…
SIGN #4: Your ex is sending mixed “hot and cold” signals, alternating between being affectionate and being cold and distant.
Here’s the thing: if your ex still has feelings for you — and I suspect for most of you reading this, that is indeed the case, at least to some extent — that means he or she isn’t really fully committed to their decision to break up.
In other words, it’s very common for someone to decide to end a relationship, only to later feel conflicted about the decision and whether they made the right choice.
That’s why getting ‘hot and cold’ mixed messages from your ex is often a great sign! It indicates that he or she is conflicted internally, and wanting to string you along for a while so that they can keep their options open and decide to take you back if they choose to.
This is very common, and not always intentional on your ex’s part, but it really does make a lot of sense: if you’re still in love with someone but you think breaking up is the right decision, you’re going to want to keep your options open and be able to choose to get back together down the road, right?
Your ex is just trying to keep you around as a ‘backup plan’ for as long as possible, so that they can get back together or at least have someone to be with once in a while when they’re feeling lonely. That requires stringing you along, giving you hope one minute and then suddenly becoming cold and distant the next.
If your ex is doing this, it means they’re not ready to fully let you go, and that’s almost always because they continue to have romantic feelings for you to some degree.
DO NOT allow yourself to be strung along in this way by your ex if you want to start over with them and be together in a real relationship again in the future!
This is the same as being “friend zoned” by your ex, essentially, which is also something I strongly advise against.
You want your ex to feel pressured into making a decision, so that they know you’re quickly going to be gone from their life if they don’t cave in to their feelings and ask you to take them back soon. Do this correctly, and they’ll be chasing after YOU rather than the other way around…
What If You’re Still Not Sure If Your Ex Still Loves You?
Well, it’s pretty simple: begin by taking my free quiz right now, and you’ll receive a comprehensive results report with a score (your odds of successfully winning them back) and a number of personalized recommendations explaining what to do next.
So, that’s how you can find out whether or not your ex wants you back… but of course, as you’ve already learned, you should also be looking for the 4 signs I just covered!