What should you do if you feel your ex losing interest or growing cold and distant?
Is there still hope or should you give up for good?
Well there are actually several things you could do right now if you want to regain your ex’s interest and rebuild their desire for you.
So if you’re hoping for a second chance with your ex, but you’re worried they’re slipping away, you’ve come to the right place.
How To Tell If Your Ex Is Losing Interest
Now, if you’re in this kind of a situation, I know how disheartening it can feel. Maybe things started off pretty well… you applied some of the proven strategies I outline in my Ex Factor program, and things seem to be progressing fairly well… until you hit a brick wall, and feel your ex starting to lose interest.
Your ex stops texting back, stops telling you they miss you, cancels plans with you. It’s not a good feeling.
First, please understand something very important: the most problematic part of this kind of situation, where you can sense your ex is slipping away and losing interest, is actually how most people REACT when facing this kind of scenario.
The natural instinct, which is to panic and try to take action to stop their ex from slipping away, is guaranteed to make things worse.
I see this almost every single day when working with coaching clients. A client’s ex will respond less frequently to messages, stop sending positive or encouraging signals, or grow cold and distant out of the blue.
The right way to respond to this type of situation is to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING… which is, of course, the opposite of what every fibre in your body is telling you to do.
I know you probably WANT to pick up the phone and call your ex to ask what they’re doing or why they suddenly cancelled your plans to go for coffee…. Fear of losing your ex makes you want to tighten your grip on the situation and take action to stop the downward spiral.
This is where things get really dangerous, and where many people make mistakes. The last thing you want to do if your ex suddenly seems to be backing away or losing interest is to try and actively prevent it.
You can’t show your ex that their coldness or apathy bothers you, and you can’t show any signs of neediness or desperation.
If you start texting your ex and asking stuff like, “hey why arent you responding??” or “do you hate me or something”, they’re going to become irritated by the pestering and they’ll clearly see your desperation, which in turn will destroy the progress you’ve made up to that point, and make it more difficult to change how your ex feels about you and the possibility of getting back together.
Take A Step Back
If you recognize that you’re in this kind of situation, here’s what you need to do: take a deep breath, and prevent yourself from doing anything to try and change things. Don’t contact your ex at all for at least a few days.
Sometimes, depending on how far along you are in the process of winning him or her back, you might need to avoid contact for weeks. Pretty much ANYTHING you try to do to change how your ex feels or stop them from growing cold and distant will have the opposite effect.
Try not to talk about the situation with your friends or family, either, if you can avoid it. That’s especially true when it comes to mutual friends, who might tell your ex if they hear you complaining about their sudden change of heart and lack of interest.
Keep yourself occupied and stay busy, because otherwise you’ll torture yourself by overanalyzing and worrying about everything your ex says and does.
It’s best to try and think about your ex as little as possible while you’re in this situation… talking about it with friends might feel good, but it actually just fixates your thoughts on the issue and causes your fears and anxiety to get worse. I know this is easier said than done, but try your best to focus on yourself and let go of the things that are outside your control.
In many cases, when it comes to this kind of situation, simply ignoring your ex for a while — a week or two, for instance — can solve the problem. It’s common for people to have mixed feelings and up-and-down mood swings after a breakup, and your ex may just be in a ‘down’ phase at the moment, hence the cold and distant behaviour. At the very least, by ignoring your ex when you sense him or her backing away, you’re ensuring that you don’t make matters worse.
If you still get the sense your ex is losing interest and backing away after you cut off contact for a while, then your next step is to break the ice with something FUN and super brief and casual… for instance, don’t re-open the lines of communication by asking your ex if they want to talk about your breakup. Don’t say anything that might come across as needy, boring, or require an extensive response from your ex.
Instead of making that kind of mistake, just make him or her laugh.
- Share a short anecdote that happened to you over the past little while.
- Send a funny video you found on TikTok.
- Bring up an old inside joke that your ex will probably have forgotten about.
- Send a link to a viral video of your ex’s favourite celebrity doing something stupid on camera.
Whatever it you choose to send… just keep it short, upbeat, and make it sound to your ex as though nothing is out of the ordinary.
That’s the kind of thing that will make your ex WANT to talk to you, and you can build on it from there.
Just remember not to show any desperation or fall back into any old needy or clingy habits. Make your ex want to talk to you and be around you, and they’ll stop backing away and start to regain interest.