think before you speak

10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Ex

After a tough breakup, when emotions are running high and you’re possibly on the verge of an emotional breakdown, it can be difficult to find the right words to say to your ex.  And while I can’t tell you exactly what to say to repair your relationship, there are a few things that you should definitely avoid saying to your ex.

Beyond the 10 things I’ve outlined below, my advice is this:  If you’re not sure about what to say, then as of right now, don’t say anything at all! You don’t know if what you’re saying will actually be the nail in the metaphorical coffin.

So, what are the ten things you should never say to your ex?

1.) “I miss you.”

lonely womanChances are your ex was the one that ended it with you, and now you want him or her back in your life. But as of right now, let’s face it:  your ex doesn’t miss you… they’re happy that you two have moved on.

By telling your ex that you miss them, you’re letting them know that you want to get back together. While you may think this is a nice gesture that will melt your ex’s heart, it’s psychologically proven that saying “I miss you” to your ex will only push them further away.

2.) “I love you still.”

… or anything along the lines of this is off limits. Again, just like “I miss you,” you’re showing too much interest right now. [RELATED: Should I Be Friends With My Ex?]

What you need to be doing is pushing your ex further away — not saying that you still love them or asking if they still love you. This lack of interest that you should be portraying to your ex is key to making them forget about the bad aspects of your relationship (and, as a result, they’ll begin to miss you).

3.) “Can we at least be friends?”

Think about this for a minute… right now, do you think this is a good idea? You don’t want to be friends with your ex right now. You want to be back in a romantic relationship with him or her.

Even if, right now, your ex does agree to hang out with you “as friends”… all you’ll be thinking is how much you want them back. This just isn’t a good idea.

4.) “I’m lonely and depressed… and haven’t eaten in days!”

relationship repair in progressPlaying the sympathy card is definitely not going to do you any good. You need to show your ex that you’re a “high value” individual — that you won’t have any trouble finding a new boyfriend or girlfriend if necessary.

By saying you’re lonely and depressed (or anything along the lines of that) you’re indicating the complete opposite, and showing your ex that you’re lost without them. You need to stop communicating with your ex for now and get yourself back on track before you do anything else.

5.) “I never should have dated you.”

A lot of people will lash out in anger at their ex for making them feel abandoned. Again, this won’t help you win back their love or repair your relationship. [RELATED: How To Get Your Ex Back]

If you do feel angry at your ex (for whatever reason), take it out on something else… go exercise (a great way to relieve anger) or engage in another activity until the feeling subsides.

6.) “I’m dating someone new and they’re way better than you.”

Trying to illicit a jealous response from your ex in this manner will only make them resent you.

Yes, while a little bit of jealousy can actually be a useful tool and help you get your ex back, you have to do so ‘under the radar’… if your ex believes you’re going out of your way to make them jealous, it will almost certainly make them angry and make the situation even worse.

7.) “I’m deleting you from my Facebook and from my life.”

By saying this, you’re telling your ex that the very thought of them is causing so much disturbance that you want to just eliminate them from your life. While isolating yourself from your ex after the breakup is very important, you shouldn’t be making it obvious that you’re doing so.

facebook feedRemember: you need to show your ex that you don’t need them and that you’re not fazed by the breakup.  If you’re truly unfazed by the breakup, then why would you bother deleting your ex from Facebook?

If you really can’t stand seeing your ex’s status updates on Facebook, simply ‘hide’ their updates from your news feed.

8.) “I hated how you treated me.”

As I mentioned earlier, anger and confrontation is a recipe for disaster at this point.  If you truly do feel as though your ex treated you poorly, then there’s no reason to get back together with him or her.

And if you’re just saying this in an attempt to elicit an emotional response, it’s not a good idea. Avoid making your ex angry or causing resentment whenever possible.

9.) “You broke my heart.”

Again, letting your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend know that they had this affect on you is like giving them the keys to your life. If you say this to your ex, you’re essentially throwing away any chance of being seen by your ex as a “high value” person who has ample alternative romantic options available.

10.) “Never talk to me ever again!”

Again, if you say this to your ex and they have no interest in re-kindling your romance, you run the risk of actually having that happen.

After your break up, you shouldn’t be talking to your ex at all for a certain period of time, but this isn’t the way to initiate a period of radio silence.   Instead, try to be polite and cordial by saying something like,”You’re right, some time apart might be a good idea… I think we should avoid talking to one another for a little while.”

By no means is the list above a comprehensive run-down on all the things you shouldn’t be saying to your ex… it’s simply ten of the most common things that people say to an ex that end up damaging their chances of ever repairing things.

So, if you want to mend your broken relationship and fix things with your ex, avoid uttering the above sayings.  In the long run, you’ll be saving yourself a lot of heartache.

If you’re looking for some things that you should be saying to your ex to kick-start the process of getting back together, check out this free video that I’ve got up on my website.  In it, I reveal few sneaky tactics you can use to make your ex second-guess their decision to break up with you.

About Brad Browning

Brad Browning, BA, is the world’s premiere breakup & marriage coach. Brad Browning’s The Ex Factor Guide, a program that teaches men and women how to win back their ex lovers, has sold thousands of copies worldwide. Brad has also released a similar program called Mend The Marriage that teaches married couples how to revitalize the spark, romance, and desire that’s been long forgotten. To top it all off, Brad’s YouTube channel has over 50 thousand subscribers and almost 7 million views, making his videos the most-watched and liked videos on YouTube!
242 replies
  1. Addy
    Addy says:

    I decided to use your technique, “Text Messages He’ll Actually Reply To…”. It worked! I was amazed! I responded after an hour, but he stopped texting back. Its a start though! Ill try doing it again after awhile.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Good to hear! Pat yourself on the back for a job well done. 🙂 Remember that getting an ex back is a process. You can always read my Ex Factor Guide to guide you every step of the way and what to do after this. It’s important to play your cards right. Good luck!

      Reply
  2. Angelieca
    Angelieca says:

    Hey Brad, me and my ex is having contact again and it seems that the way we texted is same as we were together before in positive way.. so what do you think? What should I do next? Anyway, we are in long distance

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      It depends which phase you’re on. If you haven’t done that yet, then it’s still important to put the “no contact” rule into priority because if you’ve been in touch after the breakup too soon, then you BOTH aren’t taking the time to process the breakup and been acting like it hadn’t happened. Burying the problems which had caused the breakup in the first place is the first step towards a doomed relationship. Make sense? Always give it time first. Watch and follow the tips here, too: How to Get Your Ex Back In a Long Distance Relationship. Good luck!

      Reply
  3. Char
    Char says:

    Hi Brad, my ex broke up with me a little over a month ago now, during which he was very unsure about his feelings and kept contacting me. As of last week he officially broke up with me but still emphasised it was because he was confused and didn’t want to drag me along anymore while he was sorting out his feelings – he wasn’t sure if he was still in love with me and wanted to be single despite still seeing a future with me. We had been together for 6 years in a mostly very happy relationship and in the last 6 months he said he had grown to resent me as he was holding in his feelings when I was going through a hard time and he didn’t want to ‘burden’ me further. Like he sacrificed his happiness for mine and being single was a way to satisfy his happiness by being selfish. We haven’t spoken since the breakup. Throughout the breakup (beginning) he has been flirting with a girl on facebook from his work, who had showed interest in him when we were together. He said that she was just easily available and a ‘distraction’. I still love him and am wondering if you see any chance of recovery or any advice for my situation? Is there a way for him to fall in love with me again if we are not together anymore?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. You ought to give it time fist and not rush it — especially if he’s confused. Mixed emotions from an ex is a common theme when a breakup is still fresh and this is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with this ex. You both need to clear your minds first, all right? A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I’ve discussed here, watch it to learn a few tips to understand your situation better: Why Your Ex Gives You The ‘Hot & Cold’ Treatment (Mixed Messages Explained!).

      Reply
  4. jack
    jack says:

    Hi,brad I’ve been broke up with my ex for a month now ,and she’s in a rebound relationship now,but when she text me she say that her rebound boyfreind wasn’t like me…what did she really means?

    Reply
  5. Shima
    Shima says:

    Hi brad, my boyfriend broke up with me 27 days back, we were together for 4 and half years, Of this time 1 and half year we were living in same city and we were so close, but after that we both moved back to other countries and 3 years we had long distance relationship.
    We were so good together even in long distance relationship but suddenly in last 5-6 months I could see he was changing but he kept saying that he’s tired and busy with work.
    27 days back i woke up one day and texted him and he didn’t reply me at all, he kept on ignoring me , he would come online read my texts and not reply me. After one week of him not replying i got to know this is a breakup, he never really did the breakup properly. I was in such a shock that I can’t even explain, i don’t want him back in my life. But i wanted to ask why you think he did this to me cuz i never got closure and it’s hurting me everyday.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup, Shima. That’s a terrible way for your ex to break up with you, considering how long you’ve been together. The distance may have likely taken its toll on you both, especially him. How often did you two get to spend time together, in person, during this 3-year span? Watch and follow the tips here first: How to Get Your Ex Back In a Long Distance Relationship? but if you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  6. maya
    maya says:

    hey brad,after my breakup with my long distance boyfriend,i begged and pleaded,but then when i saw ur videos i started applying no contact rule for 30 days,but my ex didnt even bother reaching out to me during nc .a few days ago nc ended and i talked to him and everything went fine,but it seems like im the one who has to intiate contact with him almost everytime.at this point do u think i should give up on him and move on or try something specific?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Maya! If you’ve recently reconnected, don’t expect your ex to warm up easily. Getting an ex back is a process. Are you sure you’re not trying to rush it? Setting a deadline is a good way to fail when it comes to exes, so I highly discourage it.What steps have you taken to get your ex back? It’s time to re-assess those and see what’s working versus what’s not working. Sometimes, getting an ex back is like trying to fit a square into a circle, but oftentimes, chances are you’re letting emotion dictate you and therefore end up making the wrong choices. Have you checked out my guide yet? It’s ultimately up to you to act (or not act, depending on which phase you’re in) on getting your ex back, but it helps if you read it to know that you’re on the right track. Check it out at http://www.breakupbrad.com Take care!

      Reply
  7. maya
    maya says:

    hey brad its been almost 30 days since nc with my long distance boyfriend.so im thinking of talking to him again on christmas but im not so sure if i should it or not.and during nc he didnt contact me still.What should i do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi, Maya! Do it when you feel ready and a bit confident in reaching out. Here’s a video to help guide you: How to Re-Establish Communication With Your Ex and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential. Good luck!

      Reply
  8. selena
    selena says:

    HI brad,
    i have been in a relationship with my ex for 2 years and a half ) 1 year of it was long distance but i would see him once every month or so for a week. We have been on and off about 6-7 times during this time. he moved away for his education and I guess this was our first serious-ish long term relationship for both us of so we made many mistakes. During all of the break ups, i did the 30 day no contact and more and each time he would come to me and show that he has changed and he wont make the same mistakes.We would get back and after 2-3 months something would happen and i would get mad and run away or he would loose interest and not keep up his promises ( something as childish as liking randomgirls in bikini pictures on social media that i became oversensitive on) . However I feel like I have blamed everything on him all the time, and i realized how much damage i can do verbally and i feel really bad. I want to give it another try, however i broke up last time and said awful things and “guilt” tripped him alot and he said he deosnt want to talk to me anymore. I texted 2 weeks after that and he was okay with me..saying he is coming in town..and he misses me after i said i miss him, but didnt offer to meet up or anything. he is in town for 6 months only and I want us to try to build a healthy relationship while he is here becasue its so hard longdistance…can i contact him ask him to meet up and take the blame ? ths is something I have not done..but im scared he may just act the opposite of what i want..

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello,Selena! Sorry to hear that. I think part of the problem is the both of you are not taking the time to really take the benefit of space. It’s still important to put the “no contact” rule into priority because if you’ve been in touch after the breakup too soon, then you BOTH aren’t taking the time to process the breakup and been acting like it hadn’t happened. Burying the problems which had caused the breakup in the first place is the first step towards a doomed relationship. Make sense now? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  9. Ferris
    Ferris says:

    Hi Brad! Thanks for your support!
    Is there any chance to turn the situation around if you’ve done half of these mistakes? My ex-boyfriend and I had a 30 day NC period, met up after that and had a fun “date”. Afterwards he let me know he isn’t ready to date me again (at least not yet), and we had several arguments over the phone. I made at least 4 of the mistakes listed and I looked very weak in his eyes. 🙁 I am now redoing 45 days of NC as I really need to make myself stronger.
    Is there anyway to recover after this or should I just forget about him and stop hoping for a reconciliation? We were together for a year and mutually ended our relationship due to bad timing.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You’re welcome, Ferris! Depending on the damage done, it may or may not be too late…but don’t make the same mistakes! On the flip side, however, you could just be overreacting, so don’t be so hard on yourself. Most people are guilty of this at some point. So if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  10. Jenny
    Jenny says:

    Hi Brad ,,
    I ended my 3 year relationship after I learned he cheated on me. I cut contact with him immediately but he keeps sending me emotional emails . I really can’t decide if I should forgive him or not. I still have feelings for him but I am not sure if I can deal with the betrayal
    Please help me to decide forward

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Jenny! Sorry to hear you’re going through this. Majority would decide to just move on for good and start afresh with someone else, but a few would still fight for the relationship, so this all depends which side you’re in and what your views are. There is no right or wrong answer here because it is your relationship and it’s personal to you. Make sense? Anyway men and women cheat for different reasons, but if you think your ex is worth it and if there’s been a genuine connection between you two before the cheating happened, then try to see the roles that you BOTH played that led to all this mess and see once and for all if it can be resolved or not, okay? Really take your time before deciding though and be sure not to make any hasty decisions from an emotional place. Take care!

      Reply
  11. apurva raj mathur
    apurva raj mathur says:

    hi Brad,
    i have been in relationship for 6years we were about to get engaged & married. 5years in coll. and 1 yr in long distance. suddenly he broke up with me and got committed to collegue within a month. i later found out that both of them have been in touch and talking on regular basis for months. i failed in no contact initally but this nov i.e. 3 months after break up i have completed no contacted period. i saw all your videos but i hv no idea what to do next. he says he needs me and want to be frens and have called me several times during this period..also got jealous about someone i party with..checks my fb and new pics..and admits that he is commitment phobic and now he has fallen out of love. i hve no idea whats happening. help 🙂

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Apurva! Sorry to hear about the breakup. Don’t be friends with him since it’s gonna be much harder for you to deal with this. The thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch. Review the tips on this vid, too: How to Make Your Ex Miss You and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential!

      Reply
  12. Sara
    Sara says:

    Hi, ive been living with a man for 2,5 years, dated for 4. We where planing for christmas and new year, everything where like it used to be between us, and one day last week he came home and sad he wanted to end our relastionship, ( he was super stressed when he told me, and wouldent look me in the eyes)I dont understand anything???!!….we havent talken about this ever, and we had a quite god relation. It tok me by surprise and for the first day I just sat at home in shock. Please advise me what to do. Thanks!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup. I’m as surprised as you are at this point, especially knowing so little of what really happened between you two. Right off the bat, I suggest you take some time off and not deal/interact with him for a good while, okay? Try to be clearheaded in this first to really try and see where things started to take a nosedive, considering you’ve just had plans for the holidays. This may help you see things from a different perspective though, so try to see if it relates to your situation or not: Understanding Why Your Breakup Happened and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential. Take care!

      Reply
  13. Nouseforaname
    Nouseforaname says:

    Hai Brad, I’ve been break up with my xgirlfriend and she is already dating with someone else about 6 months
    It’s to late to me to get her back?
    I already trying to date some girls but always get rejected and hangout with my friends but feel not getting better .
    Can you halp me I don’t know how I suppose to do

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! Sorry to hear that. I suggest you keep track of what you’ve been doing to see if it’s productive or not, as far as getting your ex back is concerned. Have you checked out my guide yet? It may be time to revamp your techniques. Before anything else though, take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting her back; answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  14. Sean Cahill
    Sean Cahill says:

    Hi Brad,

    I’m trying to get some feedback on my situation. Do the same rules apply when you only dated and weren’t in a committed bf/gf relationship?

    A little background – I dated this girl for two months. We had maybe one or two disagreements that I’m sure we handled really well. I was ready to tell her I love her, and there were a few moments she wanted to do the same. She also repeatedly said she’s never felt more comfortable with someone than with me. We both really liked each other’s friends, and vice a versa. Anyway, we got back from this overnight trip together, which went great, but in the days following I was distant and unusually rude, which really brought down our emotional connection fast, I’m pretty sure leading her to break things off (despite her mentioning all the contrary since).

    Everything I’ve seen on your website so far just refers to people in committed relationships. Because we weren’t in a committed, long-term relationship and because the breakup was polite, I’m wondering if the same rules apply. Should I wait just the 21 days of NC I’ve seen suggested many places instead of the normal 30? Also, she’ll be unavailable for about a week a few days after 21 days of NC is up and it’ll be her birthday. Should I wait until after the bday, even if it’s a few days after 30 days NC to reach out again?

    Thank you,
    Sean – aka, someone willing to do whatever it takes over however long it takes to get the girl

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Did you mean casual dating? Yes, it does. The first thing you ought to look at is why you’ve become distant and rude to her. I suggest you go 30 days without contacting her, man. This will help clear your head too and make you understand yourself and your own behaviour. There’s no need to wait for her birthday, assuming you’re ready… which leads me to my next point: getting an ex back is a process, so there’s no one-action solution for everything. Okay? Just play your cards right. I suggest you stay busy by reading my Ex Factor Guide, which covers every possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Good luck!

      Reply
  15. Bond
    Bond says:

    Hey Brad,We do love each other badly,but then also she is trying to keep me away.She asked for some time an year from now.Though I said nothing of the 10 things but still while we talk she could make it that I cant live without her.Hey how can I ensure that my lady comes back to me.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      How could she have made it out? If you’re being needy or desperate, then stop that right away, man. Overall since it’s been a year, I suggest you keep track of what you’ve been doing to see if it’s productive or not, as far as getting your ex back is concerned. Have you checked out my guide yet? It may be time to revamp your techniques. Before anything else though, take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting her back; answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  16. cat
    cat says:

    Hi Brad I did half of the 10 things I should not do. I’m so disappointed in myself I was in a 3 year relationship we was engaged he broke up with me one morning via text. I begged called text got blocked then he changed his number. Before he changed his number he said the most nasty hurtful things to me. I also found out he was seeing some one with in 3 weeks time. I have a feeling he has been messing with the person. I know I should just walk away but I’m so hurt and feel stuck in bad emotions.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Better luck next time, then…and don’t make the same mistakes! 🙂 On the flip side, however, you could just be overreacting and there’s a very real chance your ex is just overreacting, so if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  17. New Life
    New Life says:

    Hello Brad, not really sure if this message is read directly by you, or if it goes through a system where people read it and reply for you, but… Here it goes. I hope as you read this you see that I just want to be a better person in life. I’m willing to learn about myself and how I can live a healthy life spiritually and mentally.

    So… I am 22 years old now. At the age of 15, I dated this guy for 5 years!!!!! That is 15-20. The most important years of my life. I am the youngest child of 5 girls and my dad was always traveling. When I met this gym he became my world. Everything I did revolved around him. Ofcourse he was older than me and played baseball in college. That says a lot in itself. We dated for so long and had plans to get married. I want to have an orphanage in Africa and work for God in my life. This relationship wasn’t so healthy because he would constantly cheat on me and I was very controlling and immature. Yet we managed to stay together that long. I guess it was because although my dad was an amazing dad, he was never around and I just really wanted that love and feeling of acceptance. That’s why I always forgave him. Also, he knew I’d always stick around. Then, when we were 2 months away from getting married, I decided to end the relationship and go back to the school I had originally went to in Texas. ( I had move to Alabama to go to college with him.) so when I came back, I was bitter, hurt, depressed, but I knew this had to happen. 5 months later, he ends up sitting a girlfriend and this devastated me. Around this time a godly man was trying to pursue me. Everyone encouraged me to date him, but a few friends warned me that I hadn’t gone through the process of loving myself first and healing from this past break up. This new guy (German) was everything a girl dreams of!!! Long story short we talked for 3 months, then dated for three months, then he asked me to marry him, it all happened so fast and soon but I felt in love. As happy as it may seem, in between our time of talking to being engaged, I hurt him so bad with my words and actions because I was hurt. Hurt people hurt people. As much as he loved me, he realized how hurt I was and how bad I had hurt him. We broke up on April 13 (one year anniversary) and that’s where I’m at.

    Part of me says that this guy could be the one but it wasn’t the right time. I rushed into it, and because I did now I’m having to go through this process I wasn’t intended to go through.
    The other part says he is just another guy. Move on. You won’t ever date him, he hates you.

    I want to discover who I am what all this means. Was he for me, but it was just the wrong timing? Idk. If you could please respond or any advice I would appreciate it so much.

    Sent from my iPhone

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, there. I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation as well. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  18. reera
    reera says:

    Dear Brad.I have been with this guy for 2 years and then he left the country for education.but we have continued our relationship in long distance,even though it was not supposed to continue.he told me we can continue and I accepted.then after 4 months we had a fight and he broke up with me because of the situation(long distance).He said my life is uncertain the future and plans.
    after the break up he sent me a birthday present and after 1.5 months from the break up he texted me and he said that he loves me more than anything else and wants to continue the relationship and I accepted. but after 10 days he suddenly changed and acted distant.I got so angry and told him why are you acting like this.he cried so much and said the same things that he had told me the last time we broke up.he said maybe all my life plans change.he said he also has financial and family problems now.I dont know about my future,I dont want to ruin your life.
    3 weeks later I texted him that I can wait but he said that he is trying to forget her feelings about me,because its better.
    its been 40 days since then and we have had no contact.he is in another country and I have no news of him.I just can check him in instagram and facebook.after the last time we broke up he posted a sad poetry.
    Dear Brad please tell me what can I do? I love him so much and I want him back.do I have a chance? what should I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Reera, I’m sorry to hear about the breakup. Distance does takes its toll in a relationship, especially if one or both people involved aren’t used to this type of setup — which seems to be the case with your ex. His confusing behaviour is evident. The best thing to do here is to give him all the space he needs, so don’t contact him….let him come to you first, all right?I suggest to also stop looking at his social media profiles since the “no contact” rule includes NOT seeing/hearing anything about your ex or from your ex, all right? This ought to be the time where you dedicate it to yourself fully. Watch this to help you gain more insight: How to Get Your Ex Back in a Long Distance Relationship. Good luck!

      Reply
  19. Darian
    Darian says:

    Dear Brad, I have a problem.
    I have been with this guy for 3 years and it’s an on and off thing. He says he isn’t ready for a serious relationship but that’s what I want right now. Everyone is telling me to be his friend and build up but I don’t have that kind of patience, though I really love him, what should I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You and this guy are not the same page. Take his word for it and respect that he’s not ready to be in a committed relationship. You ought to let your own feelings die out first before having him as a friend, otherwise, it’d be much harder and confusing for you in the long run…so cut off contact first and give yourself all the time you need to do just that, okay? Good luck and I hope you find the right guy for you soon!

      Reply
  20. Margaux
    Margaux says:

    Dear Brad,
    My situation is a bit complicated. We are both 20, together since we were 15 and we live together since summer 2013. It’s been a while since he told me that he didn’t love me anymore, but I can’t move from the house for the moment.. I need to finish my driver’s license first which might take a few months to a year, I don’t have enough money to take an appartment on my own and my family live far away so no way to move yet. We still get on well most of the time, we still have sex and cuddle, often on his initiative (is this a mistake ?). But recently he lied to me about a female friend he talk to, he wanted to invite her home telling me she’s just a friend, but she’s not. She is very disrespectful to me so I said that I didn’t want her to come here until I move. He haven’t seen her in person for a year or two, last time I was here and it was ok, but then they were just friends.
    I still love him, I don’t know what to do. He tells me that he still cares about me/loves me (but not the same as before), but it hurts no matter what.
    Should I abandon the idea of getting back together ? What can I do instead of the no contact period ? I’m lost.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Breakups are never easy, sorry you’re going through this. So this supposed “friendship” with the other chick has gone on for years? I highly suggest to find your own place whenever possible, granted how this guy may be needing his space for quite a long while now — nothing good will come out of it if you stick it out, I’m afraid. If it’s any consolation, majority of my clients who have gotten their exes back have had to let go of the reconciliation part and have had to focus on themselves for a while. I normally suggest a month or two from the breakup. Since it’s been years, try to re-assess your situation first. Take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  21. Hanis Maulia
    Hanis Maulia says:

    Dear Brad,
    I have a different kinda thing. I broke up with my boyfriend couple days ago cause he couldn’t choose between me and his besfriend (female). I do have a strong arguments toward this. Why I asked him that way. We’ve been dated for 2 years. He cheated on me twice that’s why I had a lack of trust over him but I tried to hold on as he wished and asked me before. I do really disappointed. He broke all his promises to not keep in touch with his female-bestfriend whom I dislike (she disrespects me, and it hurts to tell you the past memories. its just totally sad and hurt). First day after the break up he still send me a text message, voice notes. The next day until now he disappeared. Is he totally forget me? I just haven’t accepted the reality yet. How do I deal with this?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup, Hanis. If he refuses to compromise, then that can be a huge red flag, especially since there had been cheating involved in the past. I supposed you’ve tried talking to him about how his keeping in touch with his best friend is making you feel… how has he reacted to it? Have you also considered his reasons for keeping in touch with her? The broken promise regarding this matter is another red flag, though. Whatever’s been going on, it’s important that you take some time and space apart, all right? Give yourselves time to cool down first and to think from a clearer perspective as opposed to a purely emotional one. So cut off contact for at least a month until you get to really put things in perspective, there’s no rush. If you need help on which areas you ought to look at to see is this can be resolved as well as how to go about it, sign up for my coaching program. Okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  22. Sam
    Sam says:

    Dear Brad,
    Hope you’re doing well,
    My situation is a bit different, 25yo male with a 24yo girl
    Things were going perfectly, I was taking it slow and letting her come to me… after three months of dating she told me she liked me and we became exclusive (but no labels). We shared amazing memories together and were high school sweethearts. Things changed one day when she called me and said she just didn’t feel the chemistry. It wasn’t exactly a “break up” but after that call, she texted me saying “I’m sorry I’ll send you all your things back.” Which I interpreted as a break up. I didn’t cry, text, call, beg, or plead. I told her I understand and ignored her texts thereafter for a month. She was texting me asking if we could stay friends, I finally told her that I couldn’t pretend to be just her friend and that wouldn’t work, i said if she’s not willing to work on things then we should go our separate ways. She understood and said she’ll always care about me. That was the end but now I want to try and rekindle things.
    My question is: if she is not romantically interested or attracted anymore then is there still a chance?
    And if I have already put my foot down and rejected her as a being “just a friend” then do I continue to be a man of my word and wait forever until she reaches out to me? It’s been exactly 2 months after the break up.

    Let me know if there is a chance.
    Thank you for your time,
    Sam

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Sam, sorry to hear about the breakup. I understand where you’re coming from. I’d be wary about dating without the labels though. It seems like the most perfect excuse to get the goods (of dating you) and still be open for the possibility of it not progressing further beyond that — like what had just happened in your case. Do better next time and don’t give in to this type of arrangement okay? Doing so is equivalent to letting your ex have all the power in everything, including you. Anyway I suggest you really cut off contact first, man. I’m not sure if there has already been enough damage to the three months you went along with her as far as chances go, but without commitment, realize that you essentially agreed to be her friend. If you feel there is a chance, be sure you do it right this time and read my Ex Factor Guide, first. Anyway the first step is to get out of the friendzone. Watch this: How to Escape Your Ex Girlfriend’s Friendzone. Good luck!

      Reply
  23. Annie
    Annie says:

    Hello Brad

    I am 20 yrs old and was in relationship with a 32-year-old man for last 3 months in Australia. We had been living together happilly even sometimes we had conflicts. I got back home on Jan, which is 10 hours flight away. 10 days after he got back home and we were still good. After that, he was spending his time with his family and we rarely talked or met. less than 7 times in 1 month. One day, when I was sad and mad because he slept first when we were talking and I was waiting for him to talk about my mom’s bad health condition ( he dint know before). I felt too lonely and I told him to break up. He called me twice but then gave up. We stopped taking for 3 days and I missed him so I texted him I am sorry and called him so many times but he didnt get it. And then I came to meet him but he was so cold to me. But he still looked me with sad eyes and kissed me and told me to come back to hug him when he drove me home and I didnt say goodbye before getting back to my house.

    He then told me the truth that his parents want him to get married and I am too young ( i still have 1.5 yrs to complete my bachelor degree). He said that is the only reason we had to break up. He came and met me a couple of times before I get back to AUS and he is now still staying in my home country and wont come back to Australia soon. we still talk, we text, skype, facetime but it became less and less. He become mad more often and hate it when I cry. I consider this a long-distance relationship but officially, we are no longer lovers. I dont know what to do.

    I dont understand why he is mad at me if we just broke up because he had to get married but he doesnt look for any woman yet and I can feel that he still loves me. Should I go back to my home town as soon as possible? ( i will be back on June but im worried it would be late). I am so scared please help me

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Annie, sorry to hear about the breakup. For starters, he is a grown man capable of making grown up decisions, so I’m not really sure why his parents have a say on WHEN he should get married, that’s just odd. Consider the possibility that it may just be some excuse coming from him. Anyway I don’t really know the entire situation, so it’s hard to say for sure. The best way to go about this would be to really give each other space, okay? Let him think clearly and let him miss you as well. Use this time to re-evaluate (sign up for my coaching program if you need my help) things and if you do get back together, don’t be so quick to break up unless you really mean it because it does tend to hurt and shatter his ego, all right? I’m just saying it’s not worth all the stress you’re putting yourselves through if what you really want is to be in a relationship with him. All right? Good luck!

      Reply
  24. Ann
    Ann says:

    Hi brad. I’m 56 yrs old and was in a relationship with a man for over 10 yes. We were engaged to be married but in my gut I always felt like something was not right. He was a good man but he drank a lot and gambled a lot. A couple times I caught him with other women but he was such a good liar he convinced me that nothing was going on. One day he said he was working late and would be home by 10 pm. At 1:00 am I get a call he’s been picked up for DUI, not his first by the way. He ended up spending 10 days in jail in Illinois. He worked in Indiana (which made cheating much easier for him). Once out of jail judge said he couldn’t drive in state of Illinois well driving him back n forth to work took a toll on me and he ended up living with his brother. Calls between us became less each week and he needed his parole officer to make a home visit but had to prove he was living in Illinois. I was told by states attorney they were watching him and if I lied I would be in contempt of court so I would not let his parole officer come visit him here. I understand how this made my ex mad but I also did not want to go to jail. My ex blamed me for turning him in to police and the story just gets worse. Well we still have been corresponding and trying to get back together because I truly with all my heart and soul love this man even with all his shortcomings. He’s been giving me money he has come and helped me around my house and he’s been calling and texting about can’t wait for date night and start being intimate again. One day I called him and he didn’t answer so I left a message. Two days later I get a call from some woman who sounded very drunk and asked if I knew (his name) and I replied yes. She proceeded to tell me she’s been dating him for 2 years and living with him for the past year and also for God know why but said “and I never let him ride me bareback.” I’ve been blocked from my exes phone and haven’t heard from him since. I don’t understand why he was playing me and don’t understand why I want him back. I’ve left him messages at work asking for an explanation so I can get closure and why he felt the need to hurt me this way but I haven’t heard from him since she called me. She also texted me to make sure that there was no correspondence between the two of us because he assured her that I was just some girl who gets a hair up my ass every 6 months and bothers him. What is wrong with me. 10 years is a long time to be with someone andante I asking too much for him to have the courtesy of ending the relationship?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Ann, I’m very sorry to hear about all this and I understand where you’re coming from. Cheating…well, being cheated on, can be really damaging to one’s psyche, so I urge you to really cut off contact with this man for a good while, okay? You can opt to cut off contact for at least a month, more if you need more time. Being deceived for two years is never cool especially with someone you see spending the rest of your life with. Take a moment to see if this is really what you want because right now, you’re letting all your emotions overrule everything — and that’s not good. I may not have all the details here but from what I can tell, so far, this isn’t a healthy relationship for you to be in. Forgive yourself for this as well and know that you may have made the wrong choice in choosing him; it happens. As for getting closure, don’t expect it from him because as relationship coach for over a decade, I can say with certainty that the “closure” he gives you will most likely be a lie, okay? Be kind to yourself and consider moving on from this. Watch this: Is Your Ex the Right Person For You? And if you need my guidance to help you get through with all this and guide you on a regular basis to help you move forward in the best way possible, sign up for my coaching program so I get to assess your situation more clearly and know what’s really going on. You take care now!

      Reply
  25. Alice
    Alice says:

    Hi brad ,
    Hope you r doing good . Im 24yrs old girl. Im in the relationship of almost 41/2 yrs . We r in long distance relationship . He is in different time zone . Since we r separated we are encountering many problems . Im getting jealous often . My insecurities growing more as well my Anger . When he is not giving me priority i yell at him . This makes him angry and it reaches its point . Yes i do wrong . Im changing myself . But it leads to me to break up . He says i lose all my love for u . I can live without it would be good to be single rather than wid u . When we meet a month ago , i saw his old love for me . Again he changes wen he gets back to his work . He never speaks about marriage but he says me as his wife . Now break up happens becoz of a third person (third person is who loves me ) . Tat third person plays in our life . I sent an apologize msg for hurting him to the third person this makes my boy to get anger . I dont know to resolve this . I want him back . I have pleaded him . Nothing works out . I am not able to concentrate on any of my works . Please brad help me . Thank u

    Reply
  26. Perez
    Perez says:

    I hope you are
    well. I’ve been dealing a split that hurt m e a lot. We started very well and
    eventually started small lawsuits, which were accumulated gradually. In the
    end, there was a lawsuit brought by it all ended. After that, two days later, I
    wrote a letter. This worked because it reacted very positively, spoke to me
    again and tell me he loved me. I badly, I went with everything. I began to
    treat her as if she had been all right, as if nothing had happened. She ended up
    altering and acting instinctively. She realized she wanted to be above it, and my
    jealousy and insecurities were present. Then came the day she came to my house
    to tell me that this is definitely over. His reasons were clear, he loves me
    and cares about me, but she’s afraid to try again if coming back to be the
    same. I have not been very good since then, I’m very sorry but I have not
    shown. We have seen several times in a row in the caverns of my city, and not
    turn to see the greeting all with courtesy and ready. It reached the point
    where I became jealous that you were talking to other women, and in one of
    those cases I was talking to my ex, that apparently bothered him. I commented
    that we had planned to go to a concert to Mana yesterday, and I offered us to
    keep going as friends, which had agreed. The day of the concert was to hand
    them over and tell me not want to go because she would feel uncomfortable about
    if it had been as yet another time. I shook him and told him that those tickets
    were worth more for sentimental than for the price there said. He agreed to
    keep them. In the evening I sent a Whatsapp commenting that would forever if,
    but with his dad since his birthday was this week and wanted to spend time with
    him, I was very happy and thanked me. I was filled with emotion that she was
    happy with her decision, both to send you a letter to tell him what I thought,
    eye, the letter never mentioned that he missed much less tell you to come back
    out. He left it in the mailbox and her sister left her in bed. To date, he has
    spent a night and a few hours, has not told me anything. What should I do? I
    need your help. Cheers!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Perez… I’m not quite sure why your ex is being referred to as both a he and a she randomly. The inconsistency is confusing me a bit and makes me think you’re talking about two different people instead of just one. Well, it’s either that or I’ve just misunderstood the whole thing. Sign up for my coaching program so I can clear out any misunderstanding as well as get more details about your situation and therefore be in a much better position to help ,all right? Good luck!

      Reply
  27. Elizabeth
    Elizabeth says:

    Hi Brad,
    Thanks for the great article. I just recently ended a year long relationship. My BF and I got into an argument and I told him that I didn’t think he cared as much as I cared. I ended up getting upset and asked him to just leave me alone and not talk to me. We do work in the same building but different departments so I see him occasionally. I avoided him for a couple of weeks but he kept saying hi to me. Finally, I decided to text him and we talked about things and decided to be friends, although I still had feelings for him. A couple days later I found out he was starting to see someone else and I became really hurt and confronted him. I was primarily hurt that he had moved on so fast. I ended up saying some of the things in your list. After the argument I completely stopped talking to him for a month and a half. Throughout this time he kept saying hi to me or making comments to me at work. I would just mumble hi or ignore him. Finally, I realized it wasn’t worth being angry at him so I sent him a text saying I hoped we could get past everything that happened because I would like to not feel so awkward at work. He texted back right away saying I didn’t have to feel like that and that he tries to talk to me all the time. I told him I just needed time to get over everything. He said he understood. That was the end of the conversation. But now I am really confused, because before it was like he was trying to get my attention, but now after that conversation he is completely ignoring me at work and seems to avoid me. I do want to get back together with him but I feel like something has changed and maybe I should move on. Is this a sign that he has moved on and I should forget about trying to get him back?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Elizabeth, sorry to hear about the breakup. It can be especially more challenging if you get to see each other and it’s not by choice. Try not to let things be awkward, but don’t be too nice or rude either. A happy medium is called for, here — which, I know, take some practice. I did post some videos on how to handle encounters with an ex, though, so check out my Youtube channel. And as for whether it’s hopeless or when to give up trying, this should answer your question: Is It Hopeless? When to Give Up Trying to Get Your Ex Back Don’t hesitate to sign up for my coaching program if you think your situation doesn’t fit any of the things I’ve mentioned in my videos. Good luck!

      Reply
  28. Sarah
    Sarah says:

    Hey Brad,
    My situation is kind of complicated, so my boyfriend for 10 months, he and i broke up on Wednesday (today is Saturday). This situation was that for months he had been wanting to break up saying that his feelings for me are going away, and I being too weak begging him to stay at least until he has completely lost all feelings. With time i was always upset worrying that if he redevelop feelings for me or not. In the end with the help of my friends i had the courage and confidence to tell him off and to tell him how lucky you should be to have a girl like me to care for him and how i tolerated everything. What i expected was that he would either say okay i have no feelings for you lets break up OR to say i promise i will be better. What i didn’t expect was he cried and told me that he loves me and he will regret not treating me better. Closing the phone feeling so confused not knowing what to do, this morning he calls me on the phone and we talked for an hour laughing and i let him know how im focusing on my studies and im laughing and going out and eating healthy, he really did seem impressed and when i told him i needed to go i really felt him get sad and he was so kind on the phone like he ACTUALLY wanted to talk to me. I need your advice what should i do? I don’t want to be friends and i really want him to know how lucky he was. i would prefer not to be friends but i hope these calls mean that there might still be hope for us. Help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. If you feel like you’re being taken for granted, along with the fact that he’s second guessing the relationship or his feelings for you, then those are your biggest clues to give each other some breathing room first. Okay? Cut off contact for at least a month, first, to allow you both time and space to think clearly and miss each other — and not get overly emotional. Give him time to figure out his own emotions while you do stuff to better yourself and focus on your own life, all right? Watch my Youtube videos for added tips or read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll have an in-depth knowledge on how to go about getting him back. Good luck!

      Reply
  29. Belen
    Belen says:

    Hey Brad! I broke up with my ex 2 months ago… He took it real bad! And I did it for the space he wanted. Then he got quite hurted blocked me everywhere and I did a “text terrorism” Anyways he seems quite cold and hot. Like really really angry and then saying he wish I am happy. I did 9 of 10 mistakes and he even asked me to never talk to him again in his life( I haven’t said that) And he said just talking to me make him upset, also he brings few little old argues when we were couple!. Before I thought the best idea was doing all this mistakes. Now I watched your tips and I started the no contact AT ALL rule, recovering of the break up myself and getting my goals so it looks more attractive. Thank you very much to share this, makes a lot of sense! I think this works a lot better.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Belen, sorry to hear about the breakup. You’re right in wanting to give space. This at least allows some chance for the negativity to settle, otherwise, chances are you’d both end up spatting endlessly and that’s never good. You both need time to think clearly first instead of hurling hurtful words, okay? This anger naturally dissipates after some time, but not if you keep bugging/pushing/forcing him, so try to be strong and follow the right steps. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to to go about doing this and watch my free Youtube video, for starters: How to Get Your Ex Back Good luck!

      Reply
  30. matt
    matt says:

    hi brad i read through your articale and today my girlfreind dumped me she said that she still loved me and wants to go out but she then said she needed time to see all that she is missing i have no clue what this means at first i thought it was good becuase she was just saying a little break but now im starting to think about it and it feels like she is trying to let me down gradually but then she still tells e that she loves me and misses me WHAT DO I DO cheers
    matt

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Matt, more often than not, I tend to advise my clients to treat a break as a breakup because when you think about it, it all boils down to one thing: the need for space, regardless of whether it’s temporary or permanent. Show her that you can handle this in a mature manner by respecting her need for space and not contacting her for a good while (around a month), okay? Watch this: Understanding Why the Breakup Happened (Top 4 Reasons Relationships Fail) and last but not the least, read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know what to do or say after each phase.

      Reply
      • matt
        matt says:

        Hi Brad matt again it helped i started to leave her alone and i didnt talk to her for around 3 weeks but then she popped up again and some how we ended up having an arguemant. Around anhour later i managed to mend this arguement and i left her to it becuase she i on holiday with her freinds. Around 2 or 3 days later she popped up again on text and we started talking and i then asked her what had gone wrong and sh told me… She told me that i had changed and that she went off me as soon as i changed the reason i changed was becuase she told me i could get very annoyed soemtimes so i said “new matt”. and i tryed to change really hard. She then told me she doesnt like me when i text her but then she thinks she loves me in real life becuase as soon as we stopped talking in real life it all went down hill. I seriously have no clue what to do andwhat this means, how can i pull her back by texting. i need infomation ASAP and you seem to be the right person to come to matt.

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          An argument takes two to happen, Matt. This should have been avoided especially if the breakup is still fresh. What was the argument about? That could play a role as well. But really would want to be focusing on creating a good/fun time with her instead of drama, okay? I can’t give you an the exact details on what to say/text and when to say it, unless — quite understandably — I know more about your situation. I think I only see the tip of the iceberg, but the rest also matters. Make sense? Sign up for my coaching program so I can be very specific with my advice and monitor your progress and everything you ought to be doing to get her back. All right? Talk soon!

          Reply
  31. Rosie
    Rosie says:

    I do not know if I should start the no contact period or meet up with him?! Since he wants to contact me all the time. Does he want to hear from me to get over it more easily or?…

    My boyfriend broke up with me rather drastically. Everything went super well for two years and in a period of two weeks things went down. He had a new job for two months then and worked from 10am to 11pm for 5 days, often even 6 days, a week! That put a strain upon our relationship.
    He said that he might get sorry. But that the best way to find each other again would be if we started from being separated. So he broke up. Two days later we saw each other again, but he was like ‘I just don’t want a relationship’.

    But after a week he started texting me, calling me. He always wanted to know what I was doing, was super nice: “Nice hearing your voice again, I haven’t heard from you all day” (although we had called the day before), ending texts with xxxx, laughing with everything I say, calling me pet names,…

    While he was collecting my stuff, so my mother could come to pick it up, he called me and he was crying. “I don’t want this to be so definite”, “Things could have went so differently”. and he asked if I wanted to get a drink one of the following days.

    Because of the no contact rule, I said I don’t want contact for a while, so things can settle and we aren’t so emotionial anymore.
    But then I read in your book (which I purchased) that when he contacts you before this 31days end, things are completely different. so should I meat up with him?
    Thank you very much,

    Reply
  32. Gina
    Gina says:

    Hi Brad

    I just want to know if there is still hope if I only dated my ex boyfriend for two months. We ended it in good terms. He even said he would look for me again in a future. Im not waiting for him but I want to know if it is possible to get him back.

    Thanks for everything. I love your advices and tips =)

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You’re welcome! To be honest with you, the shorter the relationship, the less likely it’s gonna work — but cutting off contact is still your best option. There simply isn’t enough solid foundation for the relationship to survive. Consider moving on from this or take the free quiz on this website to find out. Answer as honestly as possible. 🙂 Good luck!

      Reply
  33. Sasha
    Sasha says:

    Hi Brad, I am trying to get my ex boyfriend back but he refuses to hang out with me because he knows that he will develop feelings all over again and he does not want that. He broke up with me 2.5 months ago (after nearly a year of dating) saying he couldn’t handle it and said that he knows he could find someone that is better fit for him. He broke up with me because we were opposites in regards to practically everything (politics, religion etc). His parents didn’t like me because of it. I know his parents pushed him to break up with me. I was also controlling because I was going through a lot of self-confidence issue (gaining 20 lbs). I controlled him because i was afraid and paranoid that he would leave me whenever he wanted to hang out with his friends. I felt as if he wanted to be with them more than he wanted to be with me. I have since lost 20lbs and am level headed again…He told me that i should find someone that is “a better fit for me” but in all honesty I just want him. I was truly in love with him and never felt anything like this before in my life. We go to college together and every time i encounter him it’s somewhat awkward . I want to be able to convince him that i’m not the same person that i was. I am trying to hang out with him but it is very difficult when I know he has made up his mind that he doesn’t want to be with me. Over this past weekend he confessed to my roommate that he still loves and cares about me but doesn’t want to catch feelings again and that if we got together again it would mess both of us up. He also admitted that he is seeing another girl just to get over me. Please please help me!!!! i am trying to win him back but it is beyond difficult.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Sasha, there will always be differences opinion, the key is to not let it destroy your relationship… which I know is easier said than done, but can nevertheless be done with enough practice. I suggest to play it cool and NOT talk him back into a relationship, so don’t go asking for another chance, all right? I’ve been saying this in my videos — you ought to check it out — about how emotions are not based on logic, so no amount of talking is gonna bring him back, okay? You have to take the right steps starting with stop trying to chase him or make some effort towards him all the time. I can’t explain it all on here, it’s a bit complicated. Use this time apart to make lasting changes in your own life instead and not rush it. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about getting him back, all right? Good luck!

      Reply
  34. Ann
    Ann says:

    Hi Brad. Im from Sweden. I was the dumper and that was last August. We have hade contact since then and I know that at last untill april this year There were signs that he was still “in love with me. I was “happy” by just being friends. I was also in therapy for 11 month as to man bad things happend to me. He was There for me too. NOW I some how woke up and regret leaving. ..It feel like its to late as he just that much into me and I dont blame him…. Sio the No contact is already done. What now? He is very difficult to discuss things with and I feel like i dont what to do! Do you have privat mail sessions if one pay? Please help

    Reply
  35. Kiwi
    Kiwi says:

    Hi Brad,
    I really enjoy the common sense in your article, it’s refreshing… My problem, I have been in a serious relationship for 3 years in which we lived together for one year. In April, he asked for a three month break claiming he felt weak and wanted to make himself stronger. Maybe since he was single for five year after his divorce, he missed his freedom. I returned to my hometown which is a long distance from his place. He would call everyday and tell me that he loved me. After two months of being apart, I told him that I would be returning in one month. He answered that he was not so sure about that, that had not yet taken the time to think about it. I was in shock and decided to stop communication for a week to give us time to think. After the week, I ask trough e-mail that he called so we could talk. He never answered. Then no communication for a month after which I send another e-mail asking to go get my stuff at his place. He answered that he would make himself available. Now, I’m trying to make arrangement to pick-up my belongings but he will not answer my e-mail. Because of the distance, I can’t just knock on his door… Yes, I still love him but his message seems very clear. Moving on seems to be my only solution but we must get closure. How do I get him to respond to my e-mail? Should I communicate in another fashion? Why do you think he does not take the time to answer? Is there a possibility of reconciliation?
    Thanks ahead for your articles and any advice you can give.
    Kiwi

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Thanks! Sorry to hear about the breakup, though. Getting closure is almost a never-ending quest, so I suggest not to do it since you’d only end up over-analyzing stuff and such. Just try to acknowledge and accept that it’s over, which I know, is always easier said than done. This video may help you though: The Number One Root Cause of All Breakups Since he’s not replying, then try not to push it, unless you really really need to get your stuff back, okay? Move on with your life first and try not to push it. Good luck!

      Reply
  36. Josie
    Josie says:

    I am responsible for making the man who seemed devoted to me, break up with me. It was only 5 (intensive) weeks and his talk of us buying a house together (once my divorce is final) made me think things were getting too serious too quickly. I indicated that in the future I would be prepared to marry again (in general- to someone I was not saying I wanted to marry him) but he said he didn’t think he ever would. For me this is a mixed message. When we were together (for days/nights at a time) we got on so fabulously well, laughing, talking, romance. But when he was away from me I was often confused by his text messages, they appeared (or I read them as) angry or aloof. I sent a (want sex) message and he did not reply for 2 days. My friend said that he probably thought I was treating him like a robot to perform on command. I sent 3 further short texts asking if I had upset him, where did I stand and finally saying don’t bother replying then. I deleted him on face book. After 2 days I had calmed down from being ignored and contacted him. He told me that he didn’t want to carry on our relationship and he hoped I didn’t hate him. I said fine and wished him all the best and that I didn’t hate him. He said he still had deep feelings for me and asked if we could stay in touch. I said of course (I dislike falling out with people and all my ex’s are friends). I asked him what had gone wrong he replied with the it’s not you it’s me thing and his head was messed up and he needed time. Then said he still wanted to do a business idea that we had previously discussed and would I still be prepared to help him. Offered me 50%. I agreed to help but talked myself down to 40 % as he will be funding the project. I thought I was able to separate business from romance but now realise I am going to find it difficult. After looking at your u-tube videos (thank you for having them available) I realise I am probably doing the wrong things as I do want him in my life but as a boyfriend not a ‘partner’ (as he is now calling me- in the business sense) do you think there is any chance that if I employ your techniques that I will have him back as a romantic partner as well as a business partner? We are on good business terms but I still feel he is a little stand offish (maybe it’s hard for him too) it’s necessary to contact him, although we don’t really have to see each other for this project. We have not seen each other since we split up (a week ago).

    Reply
  37. Cedar
    Cedar says:

    Hi Brad. After 4yrs of being together,, my boyfriend broke up with me after a quarel, he said he left cause i never respected him. it’s over 2yrs now, that i haven’t seen none heard from him.. i still love him so very much but i don’t know if he will ever come back to me and stay forever. he changed his line so i couldn’t reach him, i know where he works but i don’t know how to face him after such a long breakup. what do i do? please help me!

    Reply
  38. Sally
    Sally says:

    Hi Brad,

    My ex broke up with me 6 months ago and after I pleaded with him for a month he told me to move on with my life. I did and started dating someone new and a few weeks of me ignoring my ex he wanted me back. After our first date back together I told him I had seen someone else while the relationship was over but my ex was dishonest about dating someone else and I found out about it through mutual friends. I was very upset and hurt and for the next couple months my ex did everything he could in an attempt to make me happy but I was so hung up on the lies he had told me to enjoy our new found relationship. Now we are broken up again, this time it was mutual but I still hope to be back together someday. I just know that right now for whatever reason we are not getting along and are only making things worst whenever we contact eachother. I have already deleted him off of all social media (because I did not want reminders of him) and he has recently moved out of town for a new job so the odds of us running into eachother are slim. So how do I show him that I have moved on? How will he know that I am bettering myself and happy with my life?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. I understand that being lied to is never ideal, but he may have had it for personal reasons or didn’t think that was relevant in an effort to keep things on the up swing while you were together. Take the time to forgive him first, otherwise, there’s a tendency that you’ll end up holding on to this grudge which would only make this process harder for you. Okay? It’s not as bleak as it sounds really, it just depends on how you both handle it. Whatever you do, make sure to give it enough time and space. If you truly can’t forgive him, it’s best to move on and start something new with someone. This video is for you: How to Get Over a Breakup (Tips for Moving On Quickly) Take care

      Reply
  39. Martha
    Martha says:

    Well, i was in a long-distance relationship for 2 years. I am in nursing school. This its my first long distance and my first serious relationship (as we talked about getting together in the future). We have different cultural backgrounds. At the beginning i would get a little sentimental/sad when he didn’t celebrate each month of us being together, then around the 10 month i learned it was a cultural thing that he did it yearly instead of every month, so i stopped that. Anyway, i don’t know if it was because of stress in nursing school, not having a social life due to nursing school or the distance and him not able to get a car for as long as we’ve been together (it stressed me him not doing efforts when i was doing my career not only for me but also for us) or maybe a combo of all…but each time around me being on my period, i would get sensitive and overreact to things, to which the next day i would apologize for, and he was understanding until this last one when he decided to call it quits. I think i just didn’t know how to deal with it all and since i talked to almost nobody but him he got the end of it. Also, i thought that i should communicate with him in order for him not to forget me i think now that was also a mistake i made i was not giving him a chance to miss me and calling each other every day . We had a great relationship overall when we were together no fights, we had fun, never a dull moment, we seemed like a great couple. I know i made my share of mistakes that i need to learn to deal with my stress in a healthy way, to not be so clingy. I am sad that he ended it…two days prior he call me at night and right before hanging up he say happy best friend day…that he had told a co-worker that i was his bff, and two day prior to that i had spend the weekend with him had sex and all. Then within the same week he breaks up. On the day of the breakup, he initially didn’t say anything he kept like throwing it at me as if he wanted me to take the decision but i wanted to fix things, but i told him to be sincere with me cus i can say yes i want to stay together and he can say the opposite, so he said it…he didn’t want a long-distance relationship anymore that he wanted the closer relationship to be able to grab a bite whenever, he said that but i feel the real reason its me…he said he loved me still and wanted to be friends…i asked the next day if he would allow me to sit down with him and have a honest and sincere conversation and he said yes but he said that is what he wanted, i asked what if in the future when im done we could get together and change distance to time and he said he didn’t want to give me false hopes. So i will be going to his house to talk to him and take a couple of his stuff and pick up some things this Thursday which will be a week post breaking up. I want him back, i was happy and we have had the best times, and so many adventures, and i dont see myself with no one else…i wonder if i still have a chance, if he would believe me that ive thought of my wrongs and that i am going to change even though throughout the it’s always been the same …he already told me im too sensitive…but i know i can and have to change…i dont want to loose him…what can i do? Is there still hope for us?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Martha and thank you for your comment. I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritize your situation as well. Thanks for understanding!

      Reply
  40. Jacob
    Jacob says:

    Brad-

    Thank you for all the advice you’ve given everyone. It’s nice to see someone that is willing to help people through difficult times. Speaking of which I have been broken from my girlfriend of 7 years for 3 months now. I went through a wide variety of emotions. There was never any huge problems throughout our relationship. We have 2 kids ages 5 and 18 months. 3 months after our second child was born she told me she’s not in love with me anymore. She stated I wasn’t emotionly there for her and I wasn’t the same guy she fell in love with. She is someone who is very honest and is in-touch with her feelings. At first it caught me off guard and I spent months trying to be like the guy she feel in love with. It didn’t work and we decided to break up in Feb 2015. I honestly feel now I made a mistake breaking up with her. I love her and want her back. I get hot and cold feelings from her. I tried to do the no contact rule but with kids it’s hard to do. What advice do you have for couples that have kids? I have spent a lot of time focusing on myself. I feel like I’m my old self again. I do not want to try to push her away and pressure her in anyway. How do I work myself back into a chance for us to start dating? She has given me compliments about how I look and how I seem like my old self. She once told me that she wants to see the guy she fell in love with and how that would the only way we could work things out. I have found my self happiness and know it’s crucial to have you wan for be happy in this world. Sometimes I get the feeling she wants nothing to do with me and other times I feel like she misses me and seeks me out.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Jacob, you’re welcome! I can see you’re in a tough spot indeed, and I’m sorry to hear that. I’m in the process of launching a book designed for married people and/or people who live together, be on the lookout for that. 🙂 Anyway for now, there’s really a lot of factors to be taken into consideration. What actions have you taken to get her back? I suggest to look at the situation from an objective perspective as much as possible so you can get to the bottom of the issue. I may not have all the information I need with regards to your situation but I can tell that she’s losing emotional interest. Once you get to remain objective, try to see if your issues can be resolved. Be sure not to sacrifice your own truth when dealing with the matter. Okay? My advice depends on how your recent interaction was with her, as well as a lot of things, so if you’re serious about getting her back, I suggest you sign up for my coaching program. I don’t really want to make any wild guesses at the expense of your relationship. As a general advice, though, be sure to keep things fun and light, avoid any type of drama with her whatsoever. In other words, don’t make the situation worse, all right? Talk to you soon.

      Reply
  41. bukelwa
    bukelwa says:

    Hi brad i still love my ex we broke up 4months ago he loved me i lied to him he find out i was still seeing someome i met before him he was hurt nd he dznt trust me he said he loves me but he dznt trust me i want him i love him

    Reply
  42. Erika
    Erika says:

    Hi Brad, my boyfriend broke up w me a month ago. He said we lost our connection and have nothing in common. He told me that he will always love me and if I need anything he will be there for me? Why does he want to be there for me but not be in a relationship w me?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Erika, it’s important that you realize how cutting off communication can really help. So if you haven’t done that already, I suggest you do it first. Watch this: How to Get Your Ex Back (Step-by-Step Guide to Reversing a Breakup) because things do tend to get confusing and your ex will tend to give mixed signals since the breakup is fresh. Give each other space and time first, and try not to overanalyze anything, okay? Focus on yourself instead. Chances are he has lost interest; hence, the breakup. But you can rebuild that attraction slowly. If you have the patience, then I’m sure you can benefit from reading my Ex Factor Guide. Take care!

      Reply
  43. franco
    franco says:

    me and my girl had the amazing relationship it was nice and everything were together since last year. We had are arguments has a normal relationship but we loved each other always. March 21 I picked her up we had a snow storm we chilled for a while in her house everything ok until when I used her car and went out to drink well heading out lost control and boom crashed the car. I thought my relationship was over after that we didn’t see each other for a few days until she came to my house to talk about everything I begged her telling her I am sorry for all that I would help her finicially and that I wouldn’t be like her past relationship that happen she forgave me and gave me the opportunity I was changing already registering for school a everything was ok we went out we had our intimacy normal like we did loving each other I hugged her kissed her everything basically the same we talked about our future and marriage she a had a trip that she was leaving to but was going to tell her family about what happen I was scared bc I knew that saying about what happen I knew what was there response going to be she left we spent every day like the best we stood msg n calling when she arrived there everything normal until the next day she tells me that she spoked to her parents and told them and that it was a lot for them they are sad It hit me a lot I was sad and devasted I said ok she came back after 12 days from her vacation we didn’t see each other until like last Sunday that passed not this one but we saw she was distanced I cried to her bc I really loved her she said that we needed our time to be alone that it is a lot for her she is sorry for confusing me it was the worst day for me I left and then went back just to tell her that I would wait all the time she needs that I am in love with her kissed her in her cheek and left the next day she send me a text early saying that she is sorry for everything she wished everything was different and maybe down the road we could start fresh that don’t think that she is a insensitive person that she cries every night and dreams about us as I do too…just yesterday went to check her page and noticed she block me from fb her cousin did the same it hurted me a lot knowing she did that I still do have her in whatsapp but as this point I no idea

    I have no idea what to do I am doing the NC as this point but I am scared in losing her we are in our 30’s and I know I want her in my future I am just scared and don’t know what to do I am changing my way I still haven’t seen her since April 19 we just talk a Lil about the situation of the car of me helping her our on that about it I send out a mother’s day gift out to her thinking maybe get on her family side but nothing only got a thanks about it…I know it was her family that made her change her mind since she is the one earning the good money there..but what can I do everything reminds of her I am working two jobs going to the gym even starting some boxing classes and will start a new job in 2 weeks if there’s any advice or a opinion I could do will gladly be thankful thanks for your time…

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Franco, I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritize your situation as needed. Thanks for understanding!

      Reply
  44. Jose
    Jose says:

    Hey Brad, my name is Jose and I have some issues I just want to cover up, my girlfriend and I broke up about a week ago because we got into an argument. Not going to lie but to be honest my feelings for her dimmed down and I simply felt like I didn’t want her anymore or at least I thought, now I just cnt stop thinking about her, she is the only person on my head and I Cnt stop dreaming about her. Now I realized that I have feelings for her but she told me yesterday that she had forgotten me and didn’t want me in a relationship with her, but yet she still texts me in the mornings and just says simple things like hey, how are you, and etc. I like this other girl and she knows it but I just really want my ex back cause ik I love her and we had 9 months together and it sucks not having her around.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Jose, sorry to hear that. Since it’s only been a week, up-and-down or a rollercoaster of emotions is to be expected from both your sides. This is who cutting off contact can benefit you both. Try not to talk to her since you likely won’t like what you hear from her; understand that this is an emotional time. The negativity will likely diminished in time, so for now, focus on yourself and be honest with your feelings, don’t be in a hurry. 🙂 Read my e-book or watch my Youtube videos so you’ll know how to go about this. Good luck!

      Reply
  45. radek
    radek says:

    Hi Brad. To cut long story short. We been together for 6 years. 0n 28th of march she broke up with me, saying that she is unhappy and dont have any support and blaiming me for our decisions. I told her some mean stuff as a reply but when she was packing stuff up I ask if she would like to move out from the house that we were leaving and start fresh maybe in a diffrent country. She said she will think about. I gave her 2 weeks time no contact. After 2 weeks I send her a message “Lets meet”. she replied she make her decision and its over, there is nothing to talk about. Thank you for everthing. I did accept her decision, explaining that I was having a really tough time and i didnt told her about it. there was lack of communication between us for around 3 months. After 2 days she called my landlord asking how Iam and whats my plan. I did panicked and went to her office next day…mistake…We had a normal chat and then all the feeelings..ech..I told her I missed her and I care about her and If we will talk its will be wonderful between us again,she became angry and didnt reply at all and said that she is taking a bus which just arrived. She blocked me from facebook as well that day and changed her number. Damn I do love her deeply. What do you suggest relationship guru?:) no contact for 30 days?and becoming the best version of myself.We will be flying the same plane probably on 30th of april.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Radek, you’re pushing too hard for things, man. If you get to read my Ex Factor Guide or even read the other articles or watch my Youtube videos, the amount of time I recommend to cut off communication is around a month. I mean, her actions clearly have clearly indicated that she needs space from you, so give that to her, man. That will also show her that you respect her decision and that you’re not desperate, okay? Read my guide to know how to go about this. Good luck!

      Reply
      • radek
        radek says:

        Thanks mate for the reply. I know you are a busy guy. I will do that. no contact for 30 days. What about the plane just keep it brief ?say hallo, smile and thats it?

        Reply
  46. Amulya
    Amulya says:

    Hi brad! i am in a relationship with a guy since 2 years and let me admit it it was a very serious relationship,all he could do was love me unconditionally ..but as he got into this new college he was influenced with his new friends,he spends time with them very often leaving me! and i wasnt comfortable with that,many times i even told him dt i have a problem with that,he says i am his only priority but he even has to take time time for friends! basically i wanted him to treat me as his only priority but d situation kept changing…nd as i was talking very rudely to him he said he wouldnt disturb me again and he wouldnt like to be at my feet again! its been a day since we broke up! i love him but i dont know what to do now

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      He may now have other stuff going on since College does tend to have that effect on people — especially if you go to different schools. Try not to be demanding and be more understanding instead since these are changes you’re both going through. I only suggest you do this if you think he’s worth it. Watch this: Is Your Ex the Right Person For You? Whatever the case, always make it a point to give each other space. All right? Take care!

      Reply
  47. Melanie
    Melanie says:

    Hi Brad,

    My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. He told me to never see him again and that maybe one day if we cross paths again that we will be back together. He blocked me off facebook and cut all ties with me. Its been five months since the break up and now he has unblocked me. I’m not sure why. I hope that with him unblocking me that he was comfortable to see my stuff and has moved on from me. I really miss him and I would do anything to get him back. But I haven’t done anything because I used to chase him all the time and I think that now he should chase me. The break up was ugly and he left on bad terms. But I hope with him unblocking me that its not too late and that he misses me. I don’t know if I should take the next step or if I should keep going with not talking to him.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Melanie, missing someone is just the first part. That alone will not get him back. I won’t go into details though since I’ve already explained it in-depth in my Ex Factor Guide. Use the tips on my Youtube videos as a reference to reach out and test the waters on where he is emotionally. Better yet, read my guide to get a complete, step-by-step guide on how to do this, all right? Remember that this should be done subtly, so don’t come off too strong and don’t bombard his phone with text messages, okay? This video is for you: How to Talk to Your Ex Again

      Reply
  48. promise
    promise says:

    hi brad. I broke up with my girlfriend of 6years. we broke up on the 1st of Feb 2015. since then I’ve been trying to get bk with her. bt it seems like I ws making things worse. we broke up coz I ws telling ppl abt our relationship stuff. cos she even said to me tat she still loves and cares abt me and tat she wanna cum bk to me. bt she can’t coz she’s been hurt to many time. it’s not like I ws cheating on her. abt two weeks ago she told me tat I should stay out of her life nd never contact her again. coz wen I’m with her I become this gud Pearson bt wen I’m nt with her I make her a bad Pearson. but since then I have nt contacted her again it’s hard not to talk with her. bt I’m pushing tat edge of nt calling her. yesterday she blocked me on her Facebook account. onli wen I logged in with my bro fb Acc I found out tat she is now Frnd with a guy tat always wanted her. do u think I still have a chance of getting my ex back? as I said b4 its been two weeks since I haven’t spoken with her. so how long must I wait to b incontact with her or must I wait for her to contact me. on sat it ws my bday bt she did nt even sent me a bday msg. does tat mean shes really done with me.the other thing I think u should knw is tat we had a salon together nd we recently bought a taxi. bt she left everything in the house and at salon she dd nt want anything. we stayed together for 5 years 9 months.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey there, I understand where you’re coming from and I’m sorry you’re going through this. The number one mistake done here was the inability to give each other space. As much as I hate to say this, it does tend to ruin your chances, especially is this has been going on since February. Acting out of desperation, neediness, panic, or the like, are not attractive and this may have caused your ex to push further away. Depending on the damage done, it may or may not be too late to get her back though. I’m afraid you’re going about this all wrong with how you perceive things. Watch this: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances of Getting Back Together Just try to give her space first for more than a month if you haven’t yet, okay? Use this time to work on yourself and try not to include your ex in the picture just yet. Good luck!

      Reply
  49. Sarah
    Sarah says:

    Thank you Brad for responding and helping me! I agree that I need to back off a little and not worry about it. I’m going to focus on school instead of my love life. 🙂

    Reply
  50. Sarah
    Sarah says:

    Hey Brad! Me and my boyfriend broke up 2 months ago and I still miss him dearly and I want to get back together with him. I am 16 and he is 16. Our relationship was very mature and we were very close. We are still best friends and we talk a little bit at school. He said that he doesn’t love me anymore and he is aware that I still love him and that I miss him. I’ve been very depressed about it. Anyways, my school formal dance is coming up in a month or two and I wanted to ask him to go with me. I don’t want to ask him too early or too late. I think that if me and him go together that we will possibly get back together and we will have a great time. How should I ask him (remember that he is my ex boyfriend) and when should I ask him (a week before, a month before ect)? Please help me!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup, Sarah. It’s not a good idea to ask him out though, especially since if he initiated the breakup. Give him time to miss you by getting busy in your own life, okay? Don’t let this relationship become a priority since neediness is not an attractive trait. Whatever the case, don’t take things too seriously now since your age is a period of growth and lots of changes. Focus on your studies instead, all right? Take care!

      Reply
  51. linda
    linda says:

    Hi Brad, we were in a relationship for 9months im 17 he’s 20now. He left me cuz I did some wrongs he sayd, we have a missunderstanding. And then I begged him please come back etc. He said no, I cant I’m with another girl now and I love her more than you. I was shocked :S and I don’t know if he’s with that girl or just lying to me. Idid the no contacting rule,than I talked to him yesterday at the beginnin i was okay , like you told on your video I did everything, but at night I needed to talk again and things geet out of control i texted him fast, told him I don’t love you anymore etc. And I ended the conversation. I did wrong ? Should I text himne week later , replay one hour like I did at the start or what to do?

    Reply
  52. Katrina
    Katrina says:

    Thanks Brad !
    My ex has text just asking if a letter has come for her! Obviously if it had I would have posted it. Do still doing ‘ no contact ‘
    I will sign up after no contact when I’m feelin better OR if things change I will sign up straight away
    Thanks again for responding

    Reply
  53. Katrina
    Katrina says:

    Hi Brad
    Thanks for replying & I do feel I am plan B right now. Just devastated !
    I want to sign up for your email coaching but should I wait until no contact
    Period is over first ? The last I heard from my ex was Thursday saying she was sending
    Me letter ( which ive not received as of yet , I do feel the letter may be
    Just to justify her actions & say how she felt etc )
    Anyway shd I go ahead with no contact for around 30 days & then sign up
    For the email coaching ?
    Thanks

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Katrina, if you’re still unsure how to go about it or especially prone to do something impulsive, it’s better to sign up for the program as soon as possible, especially if there’s suddenly a progress with your ex that you may not know how to handle — just to make sure you don’t do anything crazy. 🙂 Other than that, keep up with the “no contact” rule and concentrate on doing the right things for yourself, then sign up. Okay? Take care and talk to you soon!

      Reply
  54. anessa
    anessa says:

    Hi Brad, got dumped by my boyfriend of 4 years a few days ago for physically attacking him
    Out of anger. I did all the begging and pleading,cried my eyes out and it did not work. I feel awful for hurting him.he says he still loves me and we can be friends. I said I dont want to be friends I want us to be together again. We are still contacts on social stuff like viber. What should I do? Thanks.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Your being vicious might have put him off. 🙂 Just be sincere with your apology. Don’t over-apologize as that can become annoying, rather, give him time and space after showing him you’re sorry. Watch this: How to Get Your Ex to Forgive You all right? Don’t push it for now since he clearly needs some time to process the negativity — this does not necessarily spell the end of your relationship, as long as you’re patient.

      Reply
  55. Katrina
    Katrina says:

    Hi brad
    I’m wondering if your coaching would help or if it’s a lost cause…
    My gf of 3 & 1/2 years left me for another woman ( I am / was in same sex relationship.
    We moved to a diff country & she wasn’t happy so confided in another woman from her home town . This went on for few months behind my back. I was wrapped up in work & neglected our relationship which prob pushed her further away. We were supposed to be married this year.
    Anyway when it all came out she admitted they had met & kissed and she really liked her . But said she wanted to marry me I was her soul mate etc.. Then drove bk to her home town to tell the girl she was working things out with me .. But instead called me & told me she couldn’t tell her !!
    So ended it with me .
    Then for the next 2 weeks sent me a love song every day asking me to wait for her ! I did stupid things like begged and said I wanted her back .. Asked her outright can we work things out & she said she’s not ready .. Again asked if we could make this work & she said she can’t say yes & can’t say no !!
    So she is now living at her parents out of bags , is 43 yrs old and her new gf is 26 yrs old .
    I feel I tried to save our relationship but perhaps pushed her away . So now I am doing no contact , day 3 and she has been bombarding me with texts.. One I had to reply to as it involved bank stuff but kept it polite and upbeat only answering what she wanted . I just don’t know if it’s a lost cause, or if I am being played or kept on hold as plan b ? Please help
    X

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup, Katrina. This is not what you want to hear, but you’re definitely being plan B right now. This is one of the reasons why I’ve mentioned in a number of my videos to always, always give it enough time and space first. Stay strong, all right? Read my guide or get my coaching program if you’re still unsure how to go about it. All the best!

      Reply
  56. Chantal
    Chantal says:

    Hi Brad, my man broke up with me about 2 months ago, we were together for 3 months (it was a very intensive relationship). The reason was because he has 2 little kids (he is separated) and he hadn’t time for sharing with me and I was asking for an extra day for being together. Since the break up I did no contact rule and he didn’t contact me. After a month of no contact I started to contact him by sms and he replied me. Then he called me and we talked for a hour, he said that he missed me but he told me the same reasons from no being together because his life doesn’t allow him to be with me because he doesn’t have time now. After that call, later he sent me a lot of sms with sexual content, I reply in the same way and then he disappeared. I texted him next day and he replied that he needs time to organise his life and that he will call me when his life is better. I don’t know what to think about that and don’t know what to do now. Do you think that I still have chance to get him back?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      He may not be as into you as much as you were into him. Consider letting this man go, Chantal, his actions speaks volumes to his true feelings. He may only be up for nothing serious, so date someone else and/or get busy in your own life for the time being, okay? Take care and I hope you find the right man for you soon.

      Reply
  57. anis
    anis says:

    hey brad, me and my ex was been in relationship for 4 years. actually 2 years ago i was the one who break up with her but i manage to convince her that time we both were happy again but now this time she dump me and every time i Begged and Pleaded with her she get angry with me and always say that “u broke up with me before and now its my turn”. we are not even friends in facebook but we both are in instagram i can only communicate with her from her cell number, viber and instagram. actually she dump me on jan 14 since then i was just begging her to return back but she never listen to me i didn’t contact her since march 1 till now we just like our photo on instagram and she hadn,t given any response yet. but when i check out her facebook from my friends account then it seems like she is more happy now.

    Reply
      • anis
        anis says:

        thanks for the reply brad
        i know she is the right person for me. when she dumped me at that time she told me that she will keep talking to me, she will be in touch with me and she even says that she miss me and also she want to see me doing progress in my life but when i continue to begging her to come back things turn out and now she says she doesn’t want to see me any more what should i do now? will NC work for me? should i be doing NC from instagram too?

        Reply
  58. Keyla
    Keyla says:

    Hi Brad me and my ex has been together for 4 yes and 7 mos. Just recently I found out he has cheated on me with an underage girl. Since then I had stop calling and texting him. We have 2 children together when he texts me he asks about my children. But he don’t text often I miss him but I don’t do anything to let him know I miss him. If he text in say “what are the kids doing” I reply their sleep nothing more I am so hurt because this was a long term relationship. What should I do? I often wonder is he thinking about me.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear you’re going through this, Keyla. You’ve been handling this well, so far. There are many reasons why men cheat and it’s different for everyone. Continue to focus on yourself and your kids while not giving any priority to him. It helps if you keep busy with your own life and stuff so you don’t get to overanalye things. What steps has he been doing so far to win you over? If he’s not making a move, it’s safe to say that you should date other people so as not to get stuck in this situation. Not necessarily to be in a relationship right away, but to go out there and try to have fun instead without your ex. Get my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about this and/or watch this video: How to Act Around Your Ex (Handling Post-Breakup Encounters).

      Reply
  59. Ann
    Ann says:

    Hey Brad, was with my bf for a little over a year. It was complicated. I was actually going through a divorce at the time. My ex husband and I were separated. So I started dating my boyfriend. We were good, he knew my entire situation, knew I had kids, etc. He even bought my kids birthday presents and Christmas presents etc. He hadn’t met them yet. I met his teenage daughter though and her and I got close. He even made two spare bedrooms in his house for my children, he said once everything was finalized and if the kids wanted to hang out and play at his house when we were together they wouldn’t get bored. I never planned on moving in any time soon or anything we were just dating. Well new year’s day I saw him and he is obsessed with karaoke has a machine at his house. He has wanted me to sing. I’m a very shy person and an introvert. I just couldn’t. Well he got really mad and upset about it. The next day he said it was over because obviously I didn’t like to have fun. He realized I had too many “red flags” I was devastated. I of course tried being him back and reasoning with him of course too no avail. So I conceded, I agreed and told him I respected his decision. Well his daughter was still texting me, she told me no matter what happened she waved us to always be in each other’s lives. Then the next day she texted me and said her dad didn’t want us to have any contact. She confessed she was heartbroken. I was heartbroken also. He blocked me from Facebook and snap chat along with my friends. (He has since unblocked my friends, they attract friends on Facebook or anything right now he just unblocked them. I’m still blocked though) on the eleventh of January I sent him a text that was a little angry and telling him basically I thought we were in this together. His response was that he thought I needed closure and he said he didn’t want to bring it up but he and his daughter had a hard time with the fact that I have three “small” children (they are 11,9 and 7) he claimed that he’s too old he’s already raised kids and he a year away from his daughter graduating and going to college. He also claimed my debt was a red flag because he had no debt and I have debt because of the ex husband he also said dealing with the ex husband was a red flag also. Yet he has two ex wives. One is his daughters mom. He also said me still being married weighed heavy on his conscience and bothered him and he regretted that. I haven’t heard from him, seen or spoken to him in a little over two months so I’ve done the no contact to the nth degree. My divorce was finalized three days ago. Do I have any shot at getting him back at all? Or are there too many issues? I feel like he was being partially honest but I feel like there is more to the story than what he’s saying. He had mentioned many times before his family telling him not to date anyone with young kids. I’m thinking maybe they played a role in his decision. I miss him and want to know if I have any shot with him again. We talked about a future, us, my kids his daughter all being together then he renegged. Do I stand a chance considering I haven’t heard from him in almost three months? His birthday is coming up, I waved to send him a card, is that even possible or will that be creepy, wrong etc? Please help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Ann, sorry to hear about the breakup. It seems like he was being overly critical and/or protecting his own feelings; he may be afraid of being a rebound as well as his series of ended relationships. Whatever the case, granted how you just finalized a divorce, I suggest you take some time and take any relationship slow. This applies both to your recent ex ad other people you would date in the future. With that said, give each other time and space, and yes, cut off contact with his daughter as well. Before connecting with him though, try to see if you are really compatible to begin with. Since he’s made such a big deal that your idea of fun is not the same, consider that a red flag too since that’s not likely going to change soon, okay? If you decide it’s all worth it, watch this video to get some tips: How to Re-Establish Communication With Your Ex. Take care!

      Reply
  60. James
    James says:

    Hi Brad

    My ex girlfriend asked me if I was dating yet, we have been apart for four months now and keep in regular contact due to children commitments. She said she is going to start soon, what does this mean and how to carry on.

    Many thanks

    James

    Reply
  61. Jeff
    Jeff says:

    Brad,
    I purchased your program and been applying the techniques. However, my situation is much different I was married for 13 years to a woman that cheated multiply times, we have twin daughters and I still love her so much. She recently filed for divorce and has moved out into an apartment. I just discovered that she is seeing someone else. Of course we talking daily due to our daughters. She filled for divorce once I discovered she was cheating again and I confronted her of the situation. I think me telling her to get out of my house was an opportunity for her to file for a divorce. Oh and she is moving to another state within a couple of months to be with her new man. Here is my question is there a chance to resolve our issues and better yet what do I do, of course I still tell her that I love her and miss her. She can see that I am suffering do to all of this. Is there a chance that she will realize what she is missing from me and will ever change her ways and want to be a good wife again. I want to know if there is hope, I want to move on but I can’t. I have been with her for almost 17 years together. I know you focus on dating couples but a marriage couple like me this program has to work as well. I need you assistance in this matter. Looking forwarded to hearing from you.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Jeff, I’m very sorry to hear about the breakup. Yes, I do offer one-on-one email coaching to married couples as well. To address your question concerning her attitude, the hard truth is only she can decide whether she is willing to change her ways or not. Women cheat for different reasons though, and that’s what I’m looking to get into, via coaching. You can do this yourself, but try to see the situation from an objective point of view. Another thing I want to raise is the fact that you’re still telling her you love her or miss her. Don’t read the book in haste, I suggest you read it again until the concept of it starts to sink in. Telling her you love her or miss her is counterproductive. It will show her that you aren’t even trying to get on with your life and that you’re subtly communicating that you are willing to let her treat you this way — it’s time to turn this situation around because you’re not helping yourself by doing these things. Watch these videos: 5 Things You Should Never Say to Your Ex and How to Act Around Your Ex Take care and hope to hear from you soon!

      Reply
  62. alex
    alex says:

    Hey Brad!

    I completed the 31 days of no contact without hearing from my ex. Since I completed the 31 days it was officially time to contact him, I sent him one of the text message you suggested on your factor book, I didn’t receive a reply and is been almost a week since I sent him the message. My question is if its best to give up?

    Thanks,
    Alex

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Alex, the advice I give on my website works as a general advice, but in some cases, you may have to tweak it a bit depending on your situation and a lot of other factors which only makes each situation unique. I suggest you learn some fundamentals on how relationships go with exes and how to handle it — it’s what my Ex Factor Guide is for and I hope you’ve followed it down to a tee. I suggest to wait a few more days and then text him again. Remember not to bombard his phone with messages, and depending on what really happened in your relationship that eventually led to the breakup, you may have to give it more space (in my book, I suggest to cut off contact for around 3 to 5 weeks), a month is just average. Take care!

      Reply
  63. Nat
    Nat says:

    Hey Brad,
    I was the one who broke up with my ex thinking she’d chase after me. As you can see, she didn’t because I am here charing with you. Anyways, I have done some of the mistakes that you have shown above. My ex still wanted me in her life but I told her I couldn’t just be friends with her. We were talying with eachother after the break up and that lasted about 3 months till I told her that I couldn’t do that any more that I was selfish of her to keep mme as a friend even though she knew I still have strong feelings for her. Well now it has been 3 weeks that I haven’t spoken to her. She has called me twice last month, but I never got back to her. I also asked her if she still loved me and she said, that she didn’t any more but that she was still attractive and had feelings for me. She has tried to get my attention here and there, but I just simply ignored it. She would ask my friends here and there how was I doing and what not. I don’t know if she has asked about me lately. Do you think what I have done and I’m doing the no contact rule is blowing my chances of getting her back?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Nat, I guess I don’t have to tell you that breaking up with someone for the sole reason that you want her to chase you is never a good idea. I suggest you still cut off contact though and try to see if there had been deeper issues that made you broke up with her. Since you broke up with her, give it space until you realize what it is really that made you initiate the breakup, be honest with yourself at this point. This free video might help you with your decision, so watch it: Is Your Ex the Right Person for You? (5 Ways to Know for Sure) After you’ve given it some time, I suggest you try to talk to her and tell her the truth, work on your communication with her and try to make her understand — and see if she is receptive. The key thing is to know when to back off and when to push a bit. Okay? Watch all my other videos too, but get my guide if you’re still unsure of what to do. Take care!

      Reply
  64. Nat
    Nat says:

    Hey brad,
    I already have the mistakes that you have sshown above. I told my ex that I was deleting her of my Facebook, instagram, and snapchat. I also did lose a lot ofor weight and shr did notice that. She didn’t break up with me, I was the one whour did.a

    Reply
  65. Emily
    Emily says:

    Hi, Brad. My boyfriend and I dated for a year and we had our rocky moments throughout the relationship and he broke up a few times but we always got back together in a couple days. On New Years Eve, he decided to end the relationship and told me he no longer cares about me and wants me out of his life. The night before we had a beautiful time together and everything was great. He has told me his reasons for the breakup and I know that ultimately it is because he lost his attraction to me for my faults. We discussed marriage many times and he has told me he could not leave other times because of our love toward eachother, but told me he no longer loves me. I realize all my weak points and have been working on them, but I guess not fast enough for him. I called today and we talked for an hour after I had an emotional breakdown and he said lets not talk and he doesn’t want to see me at all. Is there any chance we can work out the problems and get back together?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Emily, I’m very sorry to hear that. Be kind to yourself at this time and be sure to take all the time you need to heal. Don’t rush making progress for anyone, life is not a race! 🙂 I suggest you check out my Ex Factor Guide for the complete details and/or watch my Youtube videos where I offer really helpful tips on how to go about this. In many of my videos, I’ve talked on and on about how important it is to let the situation breathe for a while and therefore cut off communications first (for around a month) once a breakup happens. At this point, you’ll want your ex to have a positive impression of you, so having an emotional breakdown and showing that to him won’t work at all. Give it time for a month or even more to let the negativity clear. The bottom line is make sure you get yourself together first, okay? I know it’s easier said than done, but I’ve helped many men and women fix their relationships, you just have to do the right things and not do any self-sabotaging behaviour. Take care!

      Reply
  66. lisa
    lisa says:

    Hi brad,
    When my bf broke up with me..saying he will be very busy making his career coz its the peek time and also said tht he is not sure of marrying me in future.he doesnt see us in the long run. It was almost 4 yrs we were together and he really really loved me with all his heart in starting 2 yrs…but last yr we were being distant as our location has changed due to job n all. we had some huge n little fights due to less communication and he was not giving me as much the time i trneeded. But after break up i dint contact him for around 33 dys aftr that i needed work related matter so i mailed him and he replied soon with all info. even he dint initiated ny contact during these dys…again aftr 20 dys he asked me to work on something professional work thrugh msg..i said i will see ..but aftr one day i denied working with him and mailed him that i have some other imp work. aftr 3 dys he called first time to again ask about the wrk..kind of he forced to wrk so i accepted….i wrked on that..thruought week we wer in contact thru mail but i never used to call him most of the time only he..bt for the wrk purpose talk and yes his toone used to be very calm and sweet as if nothing has happened. aftr around 1 month i called him some imp information regarding the work done together he informed somehow tht he ll b in town and I shud meet him to to take the document. I ignored twice by making a litle excuse but some how i needed to go and neet him. i met calmly we talked about each other lives..but i felt i was very uncomfortable in strting was not seeing into my eyes and was joking and teasing me for some talks..while talking even tried to touch my hands and wen i was leaving he hugged me i avoided a little still he did. wht conclusion i shud made out of this? aftr that the nxt day even on christmas he wished me thrug msg. what shud i do? he is a busy person. as we dont live in the same city its long distance..is he confused ? or not ready to commit coz he knows i need commitment but he dint say nything clearly. shud i do something? I want him back because i love him and we were very happy together.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Lisa, sorry to hear that. Work-related communication should not be compromised in any way, it’s bad for the company. 🙂 Focus on things outside work and see how he acts.Has he made any effort at all to reach out (non-work related stuff)? His attempt at physical contact was good, but not enough to warrant that he wants to get back together. Watch this video and see if he’s showing any of the signs. Otherwise, it’s to your best interest to move on and date someone else: Does Your Ex Want You Back? 8 Signs to Look For. If you think there’s more to this and you want me to guide you on a regular basis as well as look at other aspects involved, then I invite you to sign up for my coaching program. Good luck!

      Reply
  67. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Aish, an argument takes two people before it can take place. Fights/arguments are normal but too much of it can lead to irrepairable damage. I don’t know if this is the case for sure since I need to know more; I invite you to sing up for my coaching program so we both can find out. Realize the role you played in these fights and learn from them. Don’t be so hard on yourself though because nobody’s perfect, but it helps if you not do it again and try to minimize it as much as possible in your future relationships — whether with your ex or with someone new. Since he’ll be seeing you in February, I suggest to cut off contact for now just so you can accept the situation, heal yourself and get to a better state emotionally. These are all important factors to get an ex back, so don’t reach out to him until February. If he insists in being friends, use the tips I mentioned on this video (this is for men, but you can use the same principle and tell him the same thing). Take care!

    Reply
  68. aish
    aish says:

    Hey brad m a grl frm india… nd I brokeup recently 3weeks a go. I really love that guy. Plz hlp me to get him back -he moves to another city for studies and now cnt futher tke dz relationship. Frm past 2-3 mnths he been upset coz of his failure in studies. And though our idiotic fights evry day. Depressed me
    He tries to do brkup 3bfre brkup… bt I convinced him through crying and begging bt every nxt tym he ask for brkup situation goes much worse. Frm mnths he ignors me. Did nt tlk to me nicely evn shown show much of attitude. Aftr are brkup I tried to convinced him he always said lets be friends as nrml I denied coz it nt ezy for me to react nrmly nd hide those feallings… once he contact me few days aftr brkup to be friends again and ask me if I wsh then only nd I said ok…
    Few dys before he shows my picture of our comman friend brthdy he msg me nce pics we tlk for a while and he tell me he cmng in feb arund my brthdy nd wnt to hve our prty wth our comman frnds…
    Plz tell me should I follow no contact rule .. coz he still on my contact of wtapp Facebook nd instragrm.
    Nd plz do tell me dre is any chnce of getting him bck..
    Nd also plz tell me wt further things I should do..

    Reply
  69. Vickie Parks
    Vickie Parks says:

    Dear Brad,
    After a 35 yr. old relationship my boyfriend/companion is very upset with me. Early Nov. we had a not so good moment. It was unintentional on my part and he was upset about it & took it personal. We didn’t communicate until 12/2/14 after sending him a letter of apology on 11/28/14. He called we talked he received letter and he was not hurt he was offended. He said we needed space and he would talk to me later. I have not called or any contact since. I still have things at his house and he was not saying I should come and get them? He is 75yrs. old I in my 60’s. I am almost certain it is not about someone else. It’s almost Christmas & New Year follows, if I do not hear from him before then, what would you advise. This relationship has a long history and being seniors things are quit different than dating. He has not said we were broken up /We needed space. We have never not been together for the holidays.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Vickie, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Give him time and space for now because that would show you respect his decision and is fine without him — even though that may not really be true and you really want him back. Space always lets people think things clearly, so there’s no harm to it, granted your overall history together. Remember never to act out of fear where you’ll cry or do something you’re not supposed to, okay? 🙂 If he contacts you after a month, keep things fun and light, avoid opening up old wounds or negative memories. Basically show him that you’re okay with the breakup somehow. My Ex Factor Guide has all this laid out step-by-step and I seriously think you should get that, this way you’ll have reference before you do something. Take care!

      Reply
  70. Bruce
    Bruce says:

    Hey Brad, Thanks for the info and the site. What is the best way for getting back and ex that dumped you because they didn’t feel you cared enough? I tried no contact but this has driven her into the arms of a rebound relationship 3 weeks later. She realizes I have made changes to be a better boyfriend but feels my recent efforts are “too little too late.” She expresses hurt over the possibility of me moving on but has said no (for now) to a second chance.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You’re welcome, Bruce! Is she still single? If so, then find means to hang out and get on her good side again, slowly. Don’t rush it. However, if she’s already in a relationship, then let it run its course while you take care and focus on yourself. Don’t compete with another guy. If she still wants to give it a shot with you in the future, she’ll make the effort somehow but that time may not be now. Continue on working on your changes and becoming a better version of yourself. Good luck!

      Reply
  71. Matt
    Matt says:

    Hi Brad,
    I have purchased your program and am trying hard to stick to the guidelines. I was just about to celebrate our 9 year anniversary when my fiancé left me. We have a 7 and 5 year together so we dated for just under 2 years before our lives and relationship changed. She lost her job for about 5 years and I began working vigorously to provide for my family. Last year I started my own company and so had my regular job. Obviously I worked a lot but ALWAYS took off time for my kids birthdays or events. I usually worked through any other functions as my company was new but busy. Right before my son’s 7th birthday and 2 weeks before our 9 year anniversary she began acting weird and fighting with me more than usual about everything. She got into a fight with me about a test for work that she failed and blamed me for not giving her enough time to study for it. She told me she couldn’t do this anymore and has since been at her mom’s house. I have our 2 boys with me during the week and that is definitely helping me cope. When I checked the phone records I found out she was talking to get one girlfriend and a guy “friend” nonstop the whole time we started having problems. She says she’s been unhappy for awhile but I know it’s not true. I think she had been influenced by her friend and mother who don’t like me because I’m a no bullshit kind of guy who puts his family and responsibilities first where they do like to drink a lot and have a good time. I also have never drank before so although I don’t care that she does I stand by finding the right time and place to do so not on a school night at 10pm. I confronted her about her reasons for leaving and told her it wasn’t fair that she blamed me for her stress that caused her to leave when she was literally on her phone nonstop. She apologized for that but still remains that she left because I wasn’t around enough. I have since cut back on my work and spend add much time with my children as possible and it’s great. She had told me though that seeing me make these changes make her mad and that it’s too little too late. I think her excuses are a cop out to whatever is really going on but I am trying to only talk to her about positive things. I really love her and want my family together again. I have read through the book and listened to the videos and they do help get my mind right but I have such a feeling of needing to know what’s really going on in her head that it’s literally driving my nuts. I have lost a few pounds, got a haircut, dress boxer when I know she’s going to be coming around, stayed trying to talk to other girls but this is the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with playing these “games”. I almost need someone to control me and how I act as it takes everything I have to put on a show for her. Please help brother as I feel like this is eating me alive.
    Regards,
    Matt

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Matt, sorry you’re going through this. You sound like a good, hardworking guy both on professional and a personal level to keep your relationship together. I’m not sure if you’ve watched this latest video yet since I’ve just posted it, but I believe this would help you out understand what’s going on and why she’s making one excuse after another: What Your Ex Meant When She Said “It’s Me, Not You” (& Other Excuses). The way she’s behaving suggests that she has definitely lost attraction and the best way to go about this is to follow my guide down to a tee. I know it’s very challenging, breakups are never easy, but stay strong and keep on track. Do you live together? Make sure you stay busy and hang out with friends, set new goals, etc. you already have the tool you need, just stay strong. Good luck!

      Reply
  72. Summer
    Summer says:

    Hi Brad,
    I hope you can be the light at the end of the tunnel and help me help myself I will summarize as best I can. I would like to start off by saying this about myself,I am a strong kind hearted individual I hand out big servings of love to all because that is my nature. I love to love and I love myself flaws and all. I was in a relationship for 5 years with the person I thought I would grow old with. We were engaged and set to wed this December. In April of this year he sat me down and let me know he no longer loved me. That was followed by him letting me know how I wasn’t good enough to sleep next to him and that it was a privilege I had lost. I was verbally attacked for about an hour as I sat crying my heart out. Which was all surprising to me because I was the bread winner in the family and there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him. I was devastated, I packed a bag so I could stay with my best friend for a few days and to think and compose myself. During my absence he resigned my lease and changed the locks of my apartment. I went back to find all my belongings outside on the street. I was so hurt and confused. The day after that a close friend let me know that he was dating a poly amorous woman and that I had been cheated on for a the last month. I had a very tough time with all of it. I missed work a lot and lost myself completely. 3 months passed and then I get an email from him. We talked on the phone for hours and I slowly began to try to forget and he swore to me that he never cheated. I didn’t move back in but we began exclusively dating. I felt happy again and was ready to commit and restart our lives until 2 weeks ago. He lets me know that he thinks he still has feelings for that woman. And at that point confesses to cheating on me and then he proceeded to ask if there’s any possibility of me being ok with having a poly amorous relationship with the woman. While I have no issues with how one wishes to identify or their sexuality however, I have never been open to and will not be open to this. He pleaded with me and tried to pressure me into it. I cried, I screamed and ran to my car as fast as possible to get away from him. He wasn’t trying to physically hurt or restrain me I just couldn’t handle it. He begged me to think about it and to just give it a week or so to process I told him to never contact me again. I haven’t spoken to him at all since that day but I think of him everyday and this last week has been incredibly hard. I just don’t know how to deal with all the hurt and pain I feel. I would appreciate any words of wisdom.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Although you’ve been together with this guy for five years, it seems like he wasn’t the guy you used to know anymore and that your goals now are not aligned. Stick to your standards and don’t let him control you or coerce you into doing something you don’t want to, stick to your principles because sooner or later, the right guy would come along. He has technically cheated on you and recently had the nerve to ask you to accept his behaviour, which was really disrespectful. Remember that the more you talk to him and the more you allow this kind of attitude from him, the more you’re gonna enable him, which is not healthy. Cut him out of your life since he no longer is the man you used to know. Sadly, this does happen from time to time where people outgrow certain relationships. So move on from this and look after yourself now.Hold out for the love the you want and don’t settle. Take care!

      Reply
    • Dan
      Dan says:

      Actually I saw the last one on 10/13/14 disregard my previous post.
      ——————————————————————————————
      Hello Brad, my situation is the flowing, started off the relationship rocky because of my previous one where I have a child. My girl now has been a rock, she never left my side regardless of all bs my ex tried to pull. For the record I would just like to say that I told my gf now that I need 6mths before I could date but, I felt the pressure of losing wonderful person at the moment and jumped at the opportunity a few days after and so it began. During this time she she helped me financially when I could not do it on my own because I was financially broke from the past relationship. She help me get a place with her credit where we basically lived together and added we worked together as well for the first 4yrs. The problem started with the external attacks, our own differences came into play, financial struggle was hell, depression set in, failing to execute a decision to find/start new job all became the things that drove her to remembering a platonic relationship she had with someone she new before me in which she connected more with the person. Eventhough we connected on the topic of marriage and future plans, plus she loved my energy and optimism in the beginning once depression set in all that faded away and so did attraction for her. Therefore once she was faraway where she can think without the fear a contractual obligation issue, or confrontation she has had these feeling intensify and I have felt the emotional distance get larger also it has shaken my trust in her. We have planned trips during this last year and they have always been pending a breakup, this last one has been the same, currently if I say to stay she wants to bolt, but if I say go she sighs, but I am now just giving her space. After we parted this last trip I felt we would be over but instead when I asked what are we now she just said she needed to figure out why she feels like she needs to break free eventhough if we don’t argue about the problem we are good. Any suggestions?

      Reply
      • Brad Browning
        Brad Browning says:

        Hello Dan, it does sounds like your latest girl had been a gem but the relationship did not survive the storm and I’m sorry to hear that. I do suggest that you take the time off to settle your own issues as well, especially the financial part and your depression. Basically get your life together first and be happy with your life as I think the financial bit coupled with how you behaved when you were depressed were two major issues I see. Look within and realize the mistakes you made, but don’t be so harsh on yourself. Allow yourself to grow from this experience and give her all the time she needs to process her own emotions as well. It’s also not a good idea to operate out of fear, because you tend to focus on talking about drama too much and putting a label to your relationship instead of just letting things flow. Your self-confidence shouldn’t have been affected regardless of how she acts. I suggest you get my guide so you’ll learn to develop some alpha male traits and make your relationships better. For now, give her space while you focus on your own healing. Good luck!

        Reply
  73. Jasmine
    Jasmine says:

    Hello Brad, It’s been 4 years since my ex and I were together. We were together for 2 years and engaged. We’ve been talking for almost a year now. He initiated contact with me wanting to mend fences and be friends. At first I was against a friendship, told him that I still loved him and didn’t think it was a good idea, but he insisted that we continue talking and be friends. He apologized for hurting me and said he regretted dumping me. He couldn’t give me any solid reason for dumping me, just that he was confused and under a lot of stress from being in the military. We talk pretty regularly, but we go through bouts of texting pretty much all day, he’ll even tell me he’s at work or hanging out with his friends and he says he doesn’t mind talking to me.. Usually when we’ve talked all night and bonded some, I’ll wake up to a good morning text message. Then he begins to switch and he will hardly say anything to me at all and he’s distant in what he says. We’ve flirted on and off and he’s usually receptive to it, but the last time we flirted it got particularly steamy and then he said that he didn’t “want things to just be sexual”. I didn’t really know how to respond to that so I told him I was going to play a game and talk to him whenever. He wanted to continue talking but what he said took me off guard. He’s a little flip floppy sometimes, but then again I am too on occasion. He called me out on it the last time I tried to push him away. I feel for him so deeply, and I know him well enough that he isn’t going to admit to having more feelings for me than he’s already said. He’s says he’s happily single and not interested in jumping into another relationship or looking to hook up. We were long distance and still are. When we first started talking again he said he was leaving the military and coming back home, then later said that he wasn’t moving back. I’m a mother now and we’ve talked about the dating game and I mentioned that it’s hard to find someone that would love and accept me and my little ones and he came out and told me that he would date a single mom. He said that more than once on different occasions. We’ve only been messaging back and forth but he is now comfortable with calling and skyping. It’s just really confusing, He’s very attentive to my emotional needs, insists I open up to him especially when something is bothering me. I’m just really confused, I feel like we’ve skimmed passed the friendship line a little, I don’t know if he’s testing the waters or if he’s confused himself. He’s an all around good guy and he told me that he truly did love me and I will always have a special place in his heart. Last time I mentioned meeting up when he’s in town he was completely against it, saying he was worried something would happen between us that we couldn’t take back. meaning sex.. I apologize if this is all over the place I just don’t know what to do or How to approach him from here, We have some deep conversations, but it’s kinda awkward trying to keep things platonic.. I want to get close but I don’t want to try to get too close and mess everything up especially when he’s so hard to read. I can’t tell if he’s just trying to be a good friend or he feels for me as more than a friend. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Jasmine, one thing you have to remember when it comes to exes is to look at his actions and see if it matches with what is being said. Another thing to look out for is the tendency for you to look at things the way you want it and not necessarily how it is. I’m not saying that this is the case for sure since I need more information from you, but it does tend to happen. Get my coaching program so I can help you see things from a fresh perspective. I also want to point out a mistake you made when you talked to him. You’re not supposed to reveal your feelings too soon. He may just be testing the waters from what you’ve told me. How was your interaction with him? Who initiates the contact most of the time? Make sure it’s not always you, dear. 🙂 Is he dating someone else right now? These are some of the many important factors to be considered, so reach out to me when you’re ready. Take care!

      Reply
  74. matt
    matt says:

    Hey Brad. What if you were a girls rebound relationship? I dated a girl who is 32 with 3 kids and I am 26, for two months. She had just gotten out of a year long relationship and a lot of the signs point to me being a rebound. We did get a long great and had a lot of fun, but she didn’t seem too invested in the relationship. She ended up giving me the old lame excuse that she is too stressed to deal with a relationship right now, but I was actually trying too hard in the relationship and was getting clingy. In your opinion, is There any chance I can get her back? I know she doesn’t want her ex back, whenever he got brought up she said she hated him and he was a psycho. She still has him blocked on facebook and even while we were together he would harass her.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Matt, if you truly love her and want to make it work as well as if you think this is the right relationship for you, then make sure that you don’t put pressure on her in any way. Simply be patient and understanding, but keep your eye open to any red flag, but don’t go starting a fight about it, simply observe and continue being yourself and love her the way you do. On the other hand, if you think she is seeing an ex or is simply not ready, then it’s best to cut off contact and let her reach out to you first. Don’t wait around too much and certainly don’t wait for her to figure out what she wants and needs, because it varies with different women — some take a weeks but others take months or even years! Since she has basically given up on the relationship, it’s time to focus on you now and give her space. Continue living your life and again, don’t pine for her. There are things you can do to make you attract an ex and not sabotage things, so for more details, check out my Ex Factor Guide and/or my Youtube videos. Good luck, man!

      Reply
  75. Rob
    Rob says:

    Hey Brad, i was with a girl for like 2 months she broke up with me. I think because we spent to much time together i got needy she got distant i got anxious and in the end she broke up with me. In the beginning it was wonderful and i know she really liked me. She introduced me to her parents and even asked me to be her boyfriend. After we broke up i asked her if you change your mind will you leg me know. Then i said dont contact me unless it has to do with this relationship. I really miss her its been 1 month and she might be dating someone else. Please give me some advice im lost on what to do because I really want another shot.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Rob, sorry you’re going through this. If she’s dating someone else, follow the tips on this video: Is Your Ex Dating Someone New? That Could Help You Win Them Back Also try to see if your goals match with this girl as well as learn from your mistakes moving forward. Cut off contact and heal from this. Being needy and or jealous is a relationship killer. Don’t be so harsh on yourself though but make it a point to learn from it so it won’t happen again. Follow the tips on the video and/or check out my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll see the attractive traits you can display and minimize if not totally omit the negative ones. Take care!

      Reply
  76. Rob
    Rob says:

    Hey brad, my ex and i had a intense 2month relationship basically the summer fling. Every day sex and hanging out she is 31 i am 38. At some point i got insecure and needy plus anxious amd she broke up with me. I didnt fight it however i told her dont text me anymore unless it pertains to this relationship. That was a month ago and i think recently she started dating a new guy. I know she really liked me at ine point i mean she did introduce me to her parents. Do you think i still have a shot to get her back?

    Reply
  77. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey Bryan, sorry to hear you’re going through this. She MIGHT come around, but what you need to do is give her time and space as well as do the right things. She won’t be able to sort her head out or begin to miss you if you’re always around when she calls. Display some alpha male characteristics where she should be fighting for your attention and not the other way around. How do you do this? cut off contact and do things for yourself. If your ex should ever come back,it would be through you making significant changes and not let the breakup affect you so much, to eventually be calm, cool, and collected about all this. The key is to work on bettering yourself with or without your ex. You need to heal as well so use this time to do just that. Cut off contact and really stick to it this time. Everything is laid out in my Ex Factor Guide and you wouldn’t be left questioning what to do next, so consider getting that for your benefit, all right? For now, do as I say and give her space.

    Reply
  78. Bryan
    Bryan says:

    It’s been two weeks. She dumped me over a text then we had a chat two days later. She was so checked out. Two days later she drunk dialed me and convinced me to come over. It was late and one thing lead to another, she said a lot to me telling me she wanted everything I wanted. The next day it was like she didn’t even remember calling me over. I left….
    I received some angry txt msgs about her seeing me on Tinder, then she noticed I had removed her from facebook. I didn’t want to but it came from the recommendation of my support network. I told her that I didn’t want to know about her life if she didn’t want me in hers.
    Im not going to deny I’ve been a little dramatic but it really hasn’t been with her, my friends would say im a broken man and they want me to get over it. But with exception of the txt convos we’ve had I haven’t too much. Shes hurt that I deleted her tho.
    She broke up with me because she didn’t feel something. Shes been through a lot but I let her know that I wanted to be there that I wanted to take care of her forever.
    I didn’t want to get into big long txt msg convos because I wrote her a letter when we broke up and gave it to her as I walked out the door, she got me into a few.
    I love this girl and I want her back. the reality is she needs to want me back. she needs to fight for me. I’m just struggling with if that will happen.
    I’ve gone NC as of about two days ago….. I hope I haven’t screwed my self with what I’ve said.
    I’ve told her that I care and think that this is a mistake. She’s just not there right now.
    Could she come around?

    Reply
  79. Ana
    Ana says:

    I missed so many details but i guess u can still say id it’s a hopeless situation or not.

    I forgot to say that after three weeks we habe met as he said it all in person and he cried and i also started to cry. We huged each other and just cried.

    At first he didn’t say that he didn’t love me but at the end , one day he just got angry because of what i wrote and he said: ” ok, you want me to say that, i’m gonna say it, i don’t love you”

    As i wrote hin that i missed him and he ha to give us a chance he said:” u are running in a circle. We aren’t together anymore and we won’t be, concentrate yourself on something else and stop thinking about it”
    Last time we contacted each other, i was very angry and wrote him everything i didn’t thought. Thinks like: ” your train is already gone, i don’t need a man who treates me like that, you have changed so much and etc.

    He wrote me: ” write me all your anger because i don’t really deserve anything else” and so that you know the decision that i have made, wasn’t that easy how you think”

    I told him that he will realise that he loves me in the future and it will be too late. He said:” let’s see what future brings” and that was it. No more contact.

    Please, please just say your opinion even if the truth hurts. Will he come back if i use your programn ?! How good are the chances of him getting back?!

    Reply
  80. Ana
    Ana says:

    Hi Brad,

    At first i want to thank you because with a help of your videos i realised that the reason
    Behind why my boyfriend broke up with me was really a loss of attraction.

    We were 2 years together and he just suddenly broke up with me, when everything seemed to be perfect.

    Lately, i had financial problems and i was talking about my problems in general too much.
    I have also stoped to take care of me as i was at the begining.

    Two month ago we had an argument. We were in a weekend relationship for the last 6 months and although i had financial problems i didn’t go to work (just one day, but a day before i cried infront of him because of my problems) to spend more time with hin instead.

    He was invited at the party that day and i wanted to be with him. I called him but he just completely ignored me. send thousend text messages saying that i was waiting for him outside of his house. I spent there 5 hours from 12 till 5 am in the morning. I even called his friend and he said to him he had to block me.

    After all i got angry, got a cab and went home. As i was sitting in a cab i wrote him:” it’s over” he reacted immediately and said that he was tired, he”s not a robot and he”/ just lost.

    After that day he didn’t even see me and during 3 weeks he didn’t even say that he wanted to break up. He just said:” i’m sorry that i’m in this situation that i don’t know what i want”

    I pushed him and didn’t leave him alone. Texted every day. Even asked him what he has decided and one day he just wrote me: ” even though it’s so hard for me to say it, but i think i don’t love u that much to be in a sincere, upright relationship. I don’t know if u are a woman of my life and i don’t know if i want to set it yet. I’m sorry and i will always be there when u need me and i don’t want to lose you because you are a very important and valuable person for me.”

    After that we were in contact, i couldn’t decide whether i ahd to stay friends with him ( just fake it) or to stop the contact. So one day i said ok let’s stay in touch and another day no i don’t want to be friends with you. And so one week.

    At the end i just decided to stop the contact because i watched your videos. Even though i also said it to him, he wrote me 4 times in one week period. At the end i couldn’t help it and k answered very rudely and destroyed maybe my last chance.

    Now i’m in no contact phase ( it’s been just three days) but i don’t know if it will have any results, because i have done so many mistakes. I even begged him at first but at the end i told him that i don’t know that i need that kind of man in my life who belittles me that way.

    Do you think that i still have a chance to get him back?!

    One last thing i have to say is that, he moves away for one year in january and i think it will be some kind of barrier for him to get back because just three months are left untill that.
    My plan was: ” no contact” for month, than starting new communication and i also thought of going to visit him abroad.

    I will definetely buy your programm this weekend !

    I just need some advice if it is worth it to try and if i have any chance of getting him back?!

    Please answer i will be very grateful.

    Thanks for yours help.

    Best regards,
    Ana

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Ana, you’re welcome! Don’t forget to subscribe to my Youtube channel as I’ll be posting more videos soon. With regards to your situation, it’s important that you follow what I said and cut off contact completely. You may have made mistakes, like many people have, but as long as you do the right things from now on and avoid damaging the situation even further, then there’s still likely a chance. What’s important is you avoid making any more mistake and really give him time to recover and miss you as well. Let him think things over and avoid being clingy, I think you now know how it can dampen the passion in our relationship. Being independent would likely caught him off guard, so stick to your guns and cut off contact, okay. These are just tidbits. I recommend that you get my Ex Factor Guide so there will be no room for error in the future and you’ll be assured that you get to play your cards right.:-) http://www.BreakupBrad.com

      Reply
  81. Julie
    Julie says:

    Hey Brad,

    My Boyfriend broke up with me two weeks right after we got back from celebrating our 2 month anniversary in Orlando. When I first met him had just gotten over a break up 3 months before that. He told me on the trip he kept thinking about his ex-later I found out our anniversary would have been their 4 year anniversary. He says he doesn’t want to get back with her, they did have a dysfunctional relationship from what he told me, but just needs time to himself and doesn’t know if there is hope for us and its best if we don’t talk for a few weeks. Last week I made the mistake of texting him that I miss him and yesterday I sent him a long text stating the things I wish I did differently like make more time, I even asked if I would see him again, he did not respond to me and then I wrote I give up and that I was moving on to someone who values my worth because I didn’t like the way he was treating me by ignoring me-is it too late for me, I made some mistakes I regret now after watching your videos

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Julie, ye, steering more drama is a big mistake, but don’t be so hard on yourself as these mistakes are very common. What’s important is you learn from it so as not to repeat the same mistakes. 🙂 Give him time and space and let him contact you first. If he is still hung up on his ex, then that’s a red flag right there because I’m sure you want him to be with you for the right reasons… and not to get over his ex, right? So let him sort out his own emotions without you trying to talk to him. Use this time productively as well, take time to recover, do not get updates from him, and you also wanna shift the focus from him to you. So try to gauge if the relationship was right for you as well. Consider signing up for my coaching program if you want me to follow your situation on a regular basis. If not, I’d appreciate it if you subscribe to my Youtube channel so you won’t miss any of my future videos. Take care!

      Reply
  82. Leesa
    Leesa says:

    Hi Brad, My situation may be unique because we haven’t actually broke up, but…. here’s the situation: We have only dated for 2-3 months, and have not even had sex yet. However, he had stated several times that he saw a future for us, spoke of me moving to his house, marriage, etc. I never felt that he was just fast talking, all seemed very genuine. Ok… then he told me he was addicted to pain medicine and when he couldn’t detox on his own, he said he would go to rehab – anything to keep me (I didn’t make the demand, just said I would support him through it). Everything between us was GREAT – he asked me to please don’t give up on him, he didn’t want to lose me because of this, he would fix it, etc. Ok… alll good. He went into 28 day rehab. The first time we talked, he said he missed me, loved me, and told me about the program and that he would need my support – I said you’ve got it (I don’t drink or do any drugs so no problem for me). The next week when we spoke, he said the counselor told him he shouldn’t have a relationship for at least a year, in case of a breakup, it could trigger him and make him relapse etc. I asked, do you want me in your life, he said yes. I later asked if he wanted me to leave, he said no. Before we hung up (and we could only talk 15 minutes) he said he would have the counselor call me so the 3 of us could talk – that never happened. We never spoke again, he got out 3 days ago, and I have not heard from him. Are we history???? I cannot believe that he would just leave me hanging like this. I have read that they are often in major depression, etc, after a detox of this type. I sent him one text (since he’s been out), and he did not reply, but I didn’t ask a question or anything, just told him I loved him and hoped he was doing well. How do I proceed? We live 4 hours apart, but that wasn’t a problem. Thank you for any help.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there Leesa, I’m not quite sure as to how a medical intervention can really affect a relationship or vice versa, but since you’ve mentioned that he’s going through depression, letting him simply know that you’re there for him without bugging him or pressuring him to see you, etc. ought to do the trick. He has his counselor to take her of his medical problems, so as his girlfriend, especially if you think he’s worth it, then don’t give up on him. However, you do need to set boundaries as well. Having a medical problem is not an excuse to treat you badly, if and when it comes to that point. Watch my Youtube videos on how to keep your relationship healthy to make sure you’re doing your part to be the best girlfriend he could ever have. I’d appreciate it you subscribe to my channel as well. 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9mVzh2NVAc&list=UUhCFbthWQF4MKA-43SCDB9g If you need me to help you and follow your situation on a regular basis, you can always sign up for my coaching program. Take care!

      Reply
  83. Lou
    Lou says:

    Hi Brad I have signed up for your coaching but for some reason on my iPad and phone it won’t let me click in the boxes to fill out the form. Please can you help? :-(.

    Reply
  84. Joël
    Joël says:

    Hi Brad,

    I’m Joël from Belgium, 34y and my ex 32y.
    I’ve been together with my girlfriend for almost 3 months.
    We had the same interests, future ideas, liked the same music, we could talk like to one another like we never did before in a relationship,………
    Also she has a son 16 moths, and i have 2 daughters, and me and her son were like buddy’s at first sight.
    She broke up with her ex 10 months ago and came out of a relationship of 14 years, he cheated on her and he told her he didn’t loved her anymore, she was a mess.
    She did date after 4 months and had in these time 3 dates, but none of them was what she wanted, all players and assholes, but with me she said it was different, she talked about me with her moim, friends, even people from her work.
    But because of she was still heartbroken from the relationship, she didn’t believe and trusted men, and had some hard times.
    Now with me she was still confused all the time, didn’t know what to do, but we had good times together, and most of all the last 3 weeks were awesome.
    Also she told me i was the best kisser she ever had, also her best lover.
    Now sinds the 24th of august 2014 we had the last day together, it was an amazing day, she kissed me and did hold my hand all day long, went to her house because her son came home from his father.
    After that she went to bed and i did go with her to the bedroom, talked fou more then an hour and she told me she wanted to go to sleep because she had to work, so i went home.
    Now, after 2 days it went wrong, the 26th.
    I told her i missed her and was feeling unhappy, ok i know it was stupid to say the unhappy part.
    But then it changed, she ignored me, and i got mad, because i was there for her all the time when she didn’t feel good or wanted to talk.
    So i said erase all things and i told her she played with me that and that she was like her ex 🙁
    I was mad, but i didn’t meant it, because she is a good woman.
    Now she told me she never wanted to see me again and that i have to leave her alone.
    I went to her home to talk like grown ups and she did listen to what i had to say, that i was sorry for telling her those bad things.
    After that i gave her a friendly hug and friendly kiss and she told me we would never be friends or lovers ever.
    Is there still a chance us coming back together???

    Thx and kind regards,

    Joël from Belgium

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Joel, talking about your feelings after a breakup is a big mistake indeed, and don’t worry, it happens a lot of times and is only normal. For this reason, if you’ve come across my Youtube videos, you’ll notice that I always recommend to cut off contact for at least 30 days since the breakup as emotions are running high and people do (in my years of experience as a relationship coach) tend to say or do a lot of crazy things and only end up stirring more drama. 🙂 Cut off contact and let her reach out to you first. Also subscribe to my Youtube channel as I post a lot of helpful tips on there from time to time as well.

      Reply
  85. Lou
    Lou says:

    Hi Brad I hope you can help me understand my situation!
    My boyfriend broke up with me last month, his excuses were that he felt like we didn’t talk/communicate that well and he didn’t feel like he had a gf for a few months.
    If we rewind a few months I got taken into hospital I was very very ill, he was very supportive at first but as woman do they put on a brave face and get on with things. I not sure if he fully understoodmthe extent of what I was going through, but I did become a bit stressed out with coping with work as well.
    I know his feelings for me before I was ill were very strong as I was the first girl he felt like he wanted to settle down with, he hinted many times about marriage, and told his mum I was “the one”,
    I tried to explain this at the time but he seemed to thing we would be wasting our time trying to sort it out? Strange.
    About a week later I agreed that it was probably the right thing to do, even though I knew it wasn’t and left it like that. It’s been 3 weeks or so since I sent that message. I haven’t heard anything since.
    Is there hope? He told his mum he misses me.
    But he is going away for 8 weeks on a military tour so hoping that time away will give him time to relfect!
    Can it be saved?
    Thanks Lou

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Lou, I hope you’re doing better now. It’s always good to spend time to heal yourself and he’s likely doing this as well. Reflection always helps and it makes you (and hopefully him as well) understand what went wrong and what could be done to improve the situation. If your relationship was serious, then continue giving him space because if he really meant what he said about you, then he’d likely reach out sooner or later. Use this time productively and make some improvement on yourself as well and how you could be the best partner in a relationship. Once you do, you’ll start attracting the right people to you, that’s the way the world works! 🙂 If you need me to follow your situation on a regular basis, or need advice how to keep strong, or just need someone to talk to, I’m here as a relationship coach. http://www.BreakupBrad.com/Coaching

      Reply
  86. Carolin
    Carolin says:

    Hi Brad,

    My girlfriend and I were together for 2.5 years everything was great but she has always been unsettled in her life. She has had 5 previous relationships before me all ended at 2.5 years and all ended in the same way which is her making a major life style change I.e. Moving states. So everything was fine with us then 5 weeks ago she left on an overseas trip which is going to be 4 months in total. Two days ago she txt me saying that she doesn’t want to be with me anymore because she can’t come back and live where we do, she wants to travel and be free and that I am her best friend and she doesn’t want to lose that. Yesterday I didn’t txt her which is unusual because I normally chase her, so at 9pm she broke the silence and contacted me asking did I want to skype I replied by saying what for, she then went on to say there is nothing to talk about and she then asked me now or ever, and I said ever

    I’m worried that the no contact rule will end up driving her away as she is not the sort of girl who gives into her feelings like even if she wanted to txt me because I haven’t been in contact with her. I’m also worried that she will move on as she hasn’t been single for longer then 2 months in 10years. Her pattern is to break up make the move and then start dating someone in order for them to support her during her ‘new life’.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Carolin, while you love this girl to bits, it seems like she needs to break her own pattern of how she handles relationships first. You, on the other hand, can only do so much. You are on the right path not to chase her. Let her be and let her realize it in her own way. It looks to me that she has a lot of lessons to learn and I do hope that she learns from it in time. From the way she acted, it seems like she didn’t know what she wants up to this point. You wouldn’t want to get back together with her for the wrong reasons as well, so make sure that you take the time to see if this relationship is healthy for you. Cut off communication until you reach some clarity and see this situation from a clearer perspective. This video might help: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m27TLeyUmwg&list=UUhCFbthWQF4MKA-43SCDB9g

      Reply
  87. henry
    henry says:

    she told me if u would to,pick up the phone that nite, we would to be back by now i expect your reply brad and thanks again i know you re a very busy guy.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      I’m sorry but your ex doesn’t only seem immature, but manipulative as well. She doesn’t want to get back together only because you hadn’t picked up the phone? That’s silly. Anyway let her process the breakup in her own way, so it’s important that you follow what’s in the guide and cut off contact for a while. Also don’t beat yourself up because you texted another girl, you were broken up during that period and you were technically single. It might have been a blessing in disguise that you hadn’t picked up the phone that night because would you really like to get back together while she was drunk? The important thing is she gets back with you for the right reasons and not because she’s drunk and thought it was cool to get back together. I found this to be true in many of my client’s cases: If you get back together impulsively, then you’ll likely going to breakup again out of impulse. Slow and steady is the key to establishing a lasting bond with an ex or with anyone special you see yourself in the future with. I hope this helps and good luck!

      Reply
  88. henry
    henry says:

    hey brad i wanna ty for your help i watched your videos,else i purchased your book online and it,really has help me, a lot my ex situation.long story short,i was with my ex for a year and half 4 of july waas the day we broke up,we decide to brake up at first for a week.than we got back together during that week i texted my ex girlfriend before her because we got into a really big fitgh no physical just insulting words at each other ,i was jus mad that i wasnt thinking of the consecuences that migth bring in the future. a month pass by and she decide to,take a look on my old phone and thats when find out about it.thats when she dump me that was never my intention ,i know that was my biggest mistake and i told her im sorry and will never do somenthing like that ever again. during the firat month i was calling her and sendin her messages everyday and she will ignore me sometimes than she will bring all the negatives memories,thats when i found your program and start it the no contact,2 weeks after that she got drunk and call me but i was sleeping than she text me” you werent there when i need it you” next day i text her to,meet up and she agreed but she just were acting cold,bipolar and inmature ,she is got a hard time leting things go or forgiving she never forget things after that we hang out a couple times at her sister house but the same i need ur advice man

    Reply
  89. Peter
    Peter says:

    Hello, Bradley.
    My girl and I were having quite an awesome time together. Everything was perfect, I loved her company and she loved mine. I was over her place almost every day. In other words, Ive dated gals but have never felt the way about them the way I do for her. And my heart is still completely open for her. I have been concentrating on myself, working out, reading more books and trying to improve myself for her and us. The thing Is we didn’t break up to start with, she never told me that she wants to end it but rather pulled herself a bit away. She was having some personal issues with family and stuff. But after 4 months, we have started talking again with each other and she calls me almost everyday, and we meet once a week. The thing is her number is changed, and I don’t have her number yet, so I always wait for her to call me. But when we meet and talk, we laugh a lot, have deep conversations and yes me being a sensitive guy, I tell her that I do miss her, and I care about her and she knows that completely. She lets me kiss her hand and forehead but no mouth kissing just yet 🙂 Im just throwing caution to the wind and laying the cards on the able. Im hoping for the best and making her trust me by each passing day. You have mentioned it before as well, true love takes perseverance, patience, and optimism.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Pete, you already seem to be on the right track, so continue what you’re doing! 🙂 Yes, it takes patience, but you also want to make sure that you don’t keep bringing up the topic about your relationship and/or how you feel about her because the tendency here is she might feel pressured and that’s when things might take a nosedive. So go easy on it, in fact, I suggest NOT to bring up the topic about it at all and keep an air of mystery. Women love that. Don’t ignore her though since you’re aiming for balance here. As mentioned in my Ex Factor Guide, focus on having fun and end the conversation first. A mistake you can do is to always be available to her and cater to her every whim especially when you don’t know where you stand just yet. Check out my Youtube videos as it offers a lot of insight as well that you can use.

      Reply
      • Peter
        Peter says:

        Thank you much, Brad. Your words do help. I control myself from constantly bringing up our relationship and where we stand, but at times, I bring up something from the past that we shared, whether it is something sexual or emotional. When you love someone to that extent, it is just so difficult to keep your hands off of them, or talk about a future and be open to it. The only thing that is on my mind is that she is also talking to another fellow, she has told me it means nothing and I know that she loves me, but it does hurt. I won’t let the fact about that guy phase me though, I want to give her her space and the last thing I want is to push her away or to put pressure on her and us. Even though there is someone she is seeing, I will take that as a small barricade in the path of me and girl getting back together.

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          If she’s dating someone else, then thread carefully. You don’t want to end up as plan B no matter how much you love someone. Have you checked out my Youtube channel? It’s important that you do because there are tips there that can help you. My Ex Factor Guide is an alternative as well so you can get a detailed list on how to go about it. Good luck!

          Reply
  90. Ice
    Ice says:

    Hi Brad!

    My boyfriend for 10years broke up with me 17days ago. He told me that i was his ideal woman but also realized that we are really not for each other. Last time he texted me was he told me that he is stuck with our memories although he accepted that we really are not for each other. I didnt reply to any of his message. We had several breakups before the longest was 3months. I really want him back because I love him and i am happy with him. Help please.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Ice! Give yourself a pat on the back for staying strong through all this. You definitely did the right thing by ignoring him for now, so continue doing that for about a month from when you broke up. Make sure that you use this time to recover and to realize the mistakes you and he made (it’s rarely one-sided) that caused the relationship demise. You can then gauge if you can overcome those or not. I suggest to watch my Youtube videos as it may really help you. I’ve mentioned some pointers on understanding why the breakup happened and some tips to see if your ex is really the right person for you or not. If you want my guidance on a daily basis, I’m always here to help since I’m known as the EX-back geek and I’ve helped many clients get their exes back and maintain that relationship for the long haul! 🙂

      Reply
  91. lisa
    lisa says:

    hai brad ! I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago . we had 6 years of relationship before . his excuses on this breakup is he doesnt want to have any commitment at this age . we re both 19 . however I had said almost all the things that you ve listed as ‘should never say’ . so what can I do now . do I still have the chance ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Lisa, don’t worry, everybody makes that mistake. What’s important is you learn from it and vow never to let it happen again if the same scenario presents itself. Don’t forget to my Youtube videos about exes as well since I think it will help you a lot. Most of the time, a breakup is caused by a loss of attraction, so it will benefit you greatly if you cut off contact as soon as possible for about a month. You need to let him feel what it’s like not to have you in his life and that you are independent and will do fine without him. In other words, don’t be clingy and certainly don’t try to talk him out of it since it won’t do any good. Let time do its part and your history together do its part.

      Reply
  92. Megan
    Megan says:

    Thank you Brad. The videos are very helpful. I’m now doing the no contact phase. I will text him in a few weeks time. My concern is if we do meet whilst i am in his country and get on, how do i persuade him i can stop putting him down (the problem was that he broke a few things and i got upset )and how to persuade him about me not being jealous(controlling). He was unhappy with my behaviour.Once bitten twice shy. It is a long distance relationship. I fear even if he does care for me he will be afraid to restart as he will think same issues might reappear. How can i show him. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Megan, you’re welcome! Show him by developing some self control first so you won’t end up repeating the same pattern of your behavior 🙂 You’re now aware of it so it’s good, awareness is always the first step. Doing something about it might be challenging, but not impossible especially if you deal with it with all your might. If you think you can’t do it by yourself, then that’s what relationship coaches are here for. I for one am willing to help you out on this. The thing you have to remember when it comes to getting back an ex is you can’t rush it. You’re on the right track by wanting to “show” him instead of always trying to talk to him of how you’ve changed. So give it time and if he is receptive to your contact after about a month of “no contact,” then even better. You just have to be patient. In your case, focusing on other things to keep you busy may help. When you do meet him, focus on having fun and never bring up the topic about the relationship first, okay? 🙂

      Reply
  93. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hi Megan, stop writing him daily for your own sake. If you watch my Youtube videos, you’ll see how I always suggest to have a period of “no contact” first before anything else — especially after a breakup. This is so you could get over the negativity — not necessarily the relationship — and come to a clearer state of mind. Cutting off contact is also the time where you’ll begin to miss each other, he can’t miss you if you’re always trying to talk to him. You also need to heal. Overall, you both need that space to figure out what you both really want… and if you’re in it for the right reasons. If you had kept on fighting, it’s definitely time to take some time away to see if this fighting can be solved in the future (if you get back together) because constant fight might mean a huge incompatibility issue here. Learn to communicate effectively during his absence and work on yourself. Good luck!

    Reply
  94. Megan
    Megan says:

    Hi Brad
    My ex boyfriend suddenly broke up with me. We were friends a year and as boyfriend girlfriend 6 minths. 7 years ago he had a bad divorce and he said i was the first girl he met he considered living with. We were long distance friends for a year then we spent more time together on his holiday in my country and we realised we like eachother. It became a distance relationship and we were meeting every month. We spoke constantly daily morning til night. It was perfect.Two months after dating he mentioned living together. Then i came closer to his home town for a month and we saw eachother every weekend. All was good but towards the end of our month of me being i put pressure on him if he still wants to live together. No reply. Then i travelled back to my country. We didnt see eachother another 3 weeks but spoke on skype. We argued a few times over the living together as he cant makes decision and about his personal issues when i told him he must go look for psychologist. But we made up. After 3 weeks he came to visit me. Met my parents a few times stayed two weeks together. There were a few small arguments, the last one which played on his mind he said was when i got jealous in a restaurant and told him to stop looking around. He went angry and i kept silent all meal and after we slept separately silently. In the morning He wanted to take the flight back. I cried and he stayed, all seemed ok, met parents again to say bye before flight. In general during the holiday We had much stress to as it was a driving holiday so i was getting stressed about his driving and navigation- he said i was a nightmare.Before he left near airport he kissed me and said he will write when he lands. He landed wrote few casual words, i asked why he’s a bit silent is everything ok and he said its over. I asked why- i need explanation. he wants be single no relationship and he wants no responsibility. He kept repeating I’m sorry its over its over. He said he needs time before we can be friends and develop friendship. He said i was never in love but only liked you. He did invest much money but said spent do much to make me happy. I told him i want meet him in his country he said ok as friends but not in august he needs time as its too soon.i told him i was planning to go do few things in his country anyway not just to meet him. I wrote him all wrong stuff saying I’m hurting, breaking heart, being angry…. Last thing i wrote today was : i miss you. I added also :i miss your friendship and your kindness. He did reply i miss your friendship too.
    How can i get him back ? Can i get him back ?Since he finished with me it’s been almost a week and i was writing him something daily but just once a day. Is there a chance to get him back ?
    I’m planning to be in his country in 3/4 weeks time.

    Reply
  95. nadiah
    nadiah says:

    hi brad…me and my bf just broke up 2 days ago…we have been dating for more than a year now…we have planned so many things we wanna do together in the future,like me meeting his parents,marriage and so on..but i dumped him by saying i hate him so much…and i don’t wanna marry with someone who only care,appreciate and loved me by saying but i want him to show that he is…but i got to emotional that i said i dump him..and he said nothing and just ignore my text..i know deep in my heart i will always love him no matter how much i hate him…i just feel that i’m not being love by him anymore that i said i hate him…yesterday he texted me goodnight and i said to him not to contact me anymore and he does..i didn’t really meant what i said…i just act tough infront of him to show him i can live without him whereas i’m not actually…i don’t know what should i do…do you think there is a way that i can get back with my ex?….i did the thing that you said in your article i should not do.. 🙁

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Nadiah, why did you break up with him only to want to get back together right away? If you need him to show you or be more demonstrative, you could have simply just told him and talked to him about it instead of breaking up with him. In this case, give yourself space to think about what you really want and need in a relationship and then think about what you can offer. If you think that your ex can’t provide you what you need, then as hard as it may seem, it may be best to stay broken up because you may simply be too incompatible if you can’t discuss important relationship issues.

      Reply
  96. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    Hi Brad,
    My ex and I were together for over five years. We were living with each other and agreed that our relationship was starting to get monotonous. We did a session of counselling which we both didn’t feel helped.
    He ended up cheating on me and ended up dating her pretty much within a month of our break up, their relationship lasted for about 8months. He messaged me a few times while he was dating her so I knew it was a rebound but I chose to focus on myself and move on. I have been on a few dates but haven’t really clicked with anyone and I seem to revert my thinking back to him and hoping for a future together.
    When they ended it he got in touch with me and told me he couldn’t stop thinking about me and a lot of the things they did just reminded him of me. He has a lot of regret with what happened between him and I and is finding it difficult to move on from hurting me. I have forgiven him and have told him that he needs to deal with it/accept what has happened instead of dwelling on it.
    I did the no contact rule for over a month as communication with him was confusing me and it really worked but now we have been hanging out after he told me he missed me and again about the regrets. I don’t know if this is healthy and if I should move on or try make things work. Your opinion would be great.

    Thanks.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, in this case, try to shift the focus from him to you. Stop thinking about what he wants or needs and ask yourself what you want and/or need. Can you really forgive him and willing to move past his mistakes? Listen to yourself and if you have that gut feeling that something’s still not quite right, then I suggest moving on.

      Reply
  97. raia
    raia says:

    Hi brad, happy canada day! I have a question, is is possible for me to get back to my ex partner even if shes self loathing? She keeps on telling that she hates herself, shes doesnt wanna commit due to the wrong doings ex. Third party and she got a deppresion state and checked by a psychiatrist… She wanted to isolate herself first and shes planning to move out in our love nest… Does no contact and your program still fits? I so desperately need your answer!!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Raia, relationships need two healthy individuals to weather the storm. If only one of you is healthy — in this case, it’s you — then you may feel burdened with her issues and eventually it will take a toll, especially since the issue had involved a third party. Not contacting her will work to her benefit more than yours, but understand that you’re doing it for her, so be strong and let her sort out her issues herself. Most of the time, people need to do it alone than together. In the mean time, take care of yourself and improve your own life as well.

      Reply
  98. Nimra
    Nimra says:

    Hey..Brad my boyfriend broke up with me 4 months ago..we talked many times..i have also applied the no contact rule..and then talked to him he was just remembering the Good time we had together…is it helpful to make a relation ship status on Facebook to make him jealous ? Can I get him back ? I miss him alot what should I do now to make him want me again..he had said to me two times he want me back…but what should I do ? He’s in another country and I had shifted to Paris ..what should I do ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      It’s a good thing that he remembers the good times. Time apart does that magic! 🙂 With regards to your question, you can use COVERT jealousy. Check out my Youtube channel for subtle ways to make your ex miss you. You have to remember to be subtle because being obvious because I can almost 100% guarantee you that it will backfire. Using covert jealousy techniques has helped my clients all over the world get back together with their ex and it’s all found in my Ex Factor Guide. It also contains step-by-step instructions on what you could do on your part. Have you checked it out yet? Otherwise, my Youtube videos should help out a bit too.

      Reply
  99. Other Person
    Other Person says:

    My ex left me a month ago and is now with my best friends sister, we are soooo much alike. I miss him a lot… ive talked to him a few times, but I want him back… Do I still have hope?

    Reply
  100. Marco
    Marco says:

    Hey Brad i have a problem and i cant realy deal with it or even better i dont know how.
    I was with my ex gf 2 months,and she left me.But she left me 100% cuz i was jelous and 2 days befor breakup we had a big fight and other day i didnt want to meet her and she left me. She was saying all that things like its not u its me and blabla. A few weeks after that I went to a trip to Germany with my friends and i was 8 days there. At that time i was at NO CONTACT PERIOD and she messaged me like HAPPY EASTER, but i didnt replay at all. I was about month and a half at the NO CONTACT period. After that i contacted her. We talked like on the begining of our realtionship, it was all friendly and spontanius and i was playing cool and all that. She was pushing me all the time to meet her, and even at some point she got angry when i said that i dont have time. She was all in to me i can say that. She saw that im full of confidente and that im a new man. We were texting 24 h at day all the time. She would send me a kisses over texting app, she seemed so in to me. She was even telling me some dirty things and private. And after a few weeks of texting we meet. I huged her and she was little suprised that i did that. She was giggling all the time and looking at me. And when me meet the other time she would touch me all the time and pushing me and playing like a little kid. She even hold my hand for a bitt. We went for an icecream and we went to beach togethar, and we never did that during our 2 month realionship. And than 2 weeks from now she got very cold to me. Shes not texting me anymore so much, maybe 4 texts at day with 4 words, she just got so cold and i dont know why. I didnt ask her whats wrong cuz i guess its a lill stupid of me to ask her if she doesnt want to share it with me. I just dont know she got so cold and i dont know why. I just dont understand that. At some points i would hugh her and touch her and cuddle her but she allowed me all that, i dont know maybe i was pushi to her so she backed of. Im sorry for my english, i realy need your heelp.

    Best regards

    Marco

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Marco, show her that you’re not jealous and/or clingy. Always let her initiate the contact first. Don’t worry so much about her texting less often. If she does text you again, try to do something exciting and focus on having fun with her without worrying too much about stuff. You may appear to be forcing and rushing the relationship. Don’t do that. Let things happen organically and naturally. If she is really into you, you can feel it. But again, let her control the pace of your relationship.

      Reply
  101. karan
    karan says:

    hey i broke up with my gf after a 2 month relationship i am regretting my decision now ,i want to get her back . i recently got her new phone number from her friend . what should i talk with her on phone ? please suggest.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      How long ago are you two broken up now? Don’t reach out to her if it’s within the 30-day time frame. Doing so should give you both the space you both need to reach a calmer state of mind and therefore avoid saying or doing things which could subconsciously push each other away even further. The fact that she changed her phone number is a clear sign that she needs a lot of space, so do not bother her and let her contact you first.

      Reply
  102. rai
    rai says:

    Hi brad, I would love to buy your ex factor guide. One question though.. Do you accept american express gift cards as mode of payment? Please let me know the soonest time possible so I can avail the program.. Thanks and more power!!!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello again, Rai 🙂 Thank you for your interest in buying my guide. We update the payment method from time to time, and as of the moment, we only take Visa/Mastercard and Paypal. You can try using your Amex gift card on Paypal to load your funds on there.

      Reply
  103. rai
    rai says:

    Hello,Brad! What if im the one who initiated the break up? Because of self preservation? I feel like an emotional love sick puppy at that time and I just needed to fix myself for quite sometime. Is it too late to get them back?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Rai,
      How long has it been since the breakup? Depending on circumstances, it may or may not be too late to get them back. Each situation is different. You may want to contact her first, though, to see how she’s doing. Don’t bombard her with messages, and allow a day or two for her to reply. If you don’t hear back from her, then your best bet would be to move on.

      Reply
      • rai
        rai says:

        Hello brad, we broke up last may 18th. I said awful things about her and had a mistake w/it. She tried to contact me in wechat and i started begging pleading but it doesnt seem to work. I dunno what to do.

        Reply
          • Brad Browning
            Brad Browning says:

            In this case, give her more time to heal and recover from the drama. Emotions, as you already know, can’t be switched on or off at moment’s notice. It is a process and so you give her space for now. It takes about a month for a person to start to get rid of the bad things that has happened and it’s around the time that your ex will start to miss you as well. You can then contact her after that period. Have you checked out my Ex Factor Guide? It should give you a step-by-step guide on how to behave with your ex, as well as a lot of other things that are really useful.

  104. Dodie
    Dodie says:

    Hey Brad, My husband and I already agreeed devorce agreement and he moved out home for one year. We live in different ontry i for ten years. We have a 22 years old son live together with me.. I have a great job here in Canada but he work in China. He with another woman two years ago . Do iand move together

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Dodie,

      If he’s with another woman, then it might be in your best interest to move on. From the looks of it, you already have a good life with your son. Continue on taking steps on what’s best for you and your son’s future.

      Reply
  105. jarod
    jarod says:

    Hey brad I probably messed up down the line my ex wanted my opinion on this guy I knew she liked before I met her. The first time he lead her on and ended up hating him then moved on to me 8 months later he is single a gain and she left because she wanted to see if that relationship is worth It. Recently me and my ex have been talking she has supported me while my mother was very sick. Now she wanted my opinion on her new found attraction and I told her that this guy is just leading you along like he does with every other girl he is not special or does he have the capacity to show you affection and treat you right. I really do believe this he’s done it with a lot of other girls now she is made at me what do I do? Just leave it alone?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Jarod,

      I hope your mom’s okay now. Your ex’s being supportive of you when your mother got sick is a good sign. Now stop giving your opinion on what you think of other guys. Instead, be the alpha male and step up to your game! You need to show some attractive qualities that females find hard to resist.

      Reply
  106. Tracy
    Tracy says:

    Hi brad. My boyfriend of 15 mths said a mth ago he needed space. He was luving here at the time so was very hard… He went out alone stopped telling me were he was going.. Etc, then 2 weeks ago im moving out… I did the talking can we sort it… He said i love you and will miss u… Ur amazing worth yr weight in gold, to which i replied i cant be all those things if u cant be with me .. Hes 33 im 40, ive got 2 children .. He argued over money. As i didnt think he helped enogh. He seemed to save while i spent, we would make up but id hold on to things one of his issues with me.. Im argumentative another issue… He felt my children took advantage.. He wanted to tell them , i stop him as i wanted them to like him .. Anther issue, they are 18&15. And didnt feel comfty having sex whilst with me as they are old enogh to know wats going on, he hated tht, so eventually id say he lost attraction as he was a passionate guy, he said i never have a say in the house … And tht he felt less of a man.. I did everything for him… He had things i didnt like but i loved him and put it aside. Since he left hes set hisself on a dating site.. We met on one, i was heartbroken. Since then minimal contact as he has post coming here.. Texted to tell him so..he says he misses speaking to ne everyday .. He loves us all, if thts the case why leave.. Im confused is there any hope??? Pls help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Tracy,

      I’m sorry to hear about what you’ve been going through. There still might be a chance indeed… especially you’ve done the right things and avoid contact with him to help yourself recover from the turmoil. You may be right about him losing attraction for you, there are many things that can contribute to it, just as there are many ways in displaying attractive qualities to bring him back to your attention. Have you checked out my Ex Factor Guide?

      Reply
  107. Yan Modine
    Yan Modine says:

    Hi Brad,
    It was a mutual decision when my ex and I broke up. We were together for only a couple of months but talks of marriage was something that we spoke about quite a bit. Reason for break up was our religion difference. After the breakup, my ex texted to say that he miss me. He texted to ask how i feel. A few days later he texted asking how i was. I gave non-committal replies. Of course i do miss him but it was just impossible for us to be together. A few weeks later he texted asking if we can meet up. I did meet up with him as i missed him a lot. It has been about a month and a few days ago he called and we spoke on the phone. He told me to let him know if im dating someone and if i have a boyfriend. I told him that i’m dating but nothing serious for now. I really dont know what to do as after every time we communicate i feel depress all over again. As i write this email to you it seem to me that avoiding him is the solution to my problem. I want him back although i know there is no future for us. Help me!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Yan,

      I’m sorry to hear about your situation. The time apart should give both of you perspective on what you two really want. If religion is a deal breaker for you, then you definitely need to sit down and talk on what you can do about it. But until then, it may be best to move on and focus on finding a partner who’s more compatible with you.

      Reply
  108. Brian
    Brian says:

    I disagree with not telling them you that you heart is broken. If its to with cheating lying etc isn’t it better to show the pain. If they can empathize really then maybe trust can be re-established?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      If infidelity was the main reason for your breakup, then yes, you can probably safely apologize and make it clear that you are really hurt and really regret your actions. But once you’ve made that obvious, then it’s time to leave it in the past.

      Reply
  109. Jenny
    Jenny says:

    Hi Brad.
    I broke up with my ex last feb 2014 nearly two months. We been in relationship for 8 months. We broke up due to I felt insecurities on him.
    I did no contact with for a week. I did mistake to keep pestered him and non stop texting and called.
    We didnt meet within 1 month.
    And march, we met up and we make love.
    And I ask him did he still love me ? He said yes. He miss me. He love me. But we cant back to in relationship like before. He cant take me with him after he finish his work at my current country in near 6 month later
    Currently im still in touch with him. Stay over night his place sometime. I told him doesn’t matter that there is not commitment and he doesnt have take responsibility of me after he going back to his country. I just want to spent this 6 months with him. I really love him. I know that silly to use this 6 months to change his mind. Is it possible ?
    I beem asked this question to him few times. His respond is NO.
    What should I do ?

    Many Thanks

    Reply
  110. adorable kindren
    adorable kindren says:

    Hi Brad, i broke up with my boyfriend 1 year ago but in about 5 months we came back together but at this time it was on and off, in less than 6 months now we do not contact each other again and we do not see , but at this time am not too sure if he is totally committed to his new girlfriend because the last time we spoke he is already engage.
    how would this relationship be rekindle into becoming a new branded one.
    thanks.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Thanks for the message… and I’m really sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it’s probably time to move on if your ex is now engaged to someone else. I’m sure it won’t be long before you find someone new as well! Good luck.

      Reply
  111. Becky
    Becky says:

    Hi brad,

    I split with my boyfriend a few months ago after 3 years… He has always been scared of commitment in the past but says he still loves me.. We do talk but he is now seeing a married woman who we both used to work with.. She has openly had other affairs and did tell people at work that she only married her much older husband for security.. (He is very wealthy).

    He has said that he likes this woman but isn’t sure if things would ever work or if he could ever trust her… He has said they have plans for her to leave her husband and that I wouldn’t understand the reasons why she has been unable to leave him for the past few years…

    I think she will only leave her husband when she can move in with my ex but he said that when she leaves her husband he wants to have a relationship with her first before moving in so he can be sure they will work…

    She is very unpopular at work and doesn’t have any friends there… A number of people have left the business because of the way she has treated them when they worked for her… I can’t understand what he sees in her and how things will ever work between them..

    He says he still loves me and wants to spend time together but she won’t allow it.. He has told me that they have had lots of blazing rows about him having me in his life and that he needs to take some time to get her to accept that he wants me in his life. He says she is very insecure and that is why she won’t let him see me.. She knows how good we were together and is jealous an thinks that if I snap my fingers I can have him back (I tried this and nope, it didn’t work!!).. He also says that I am everything she is not.. When I asked what he meant he told me I am beautiful, confident and popular..

    He says he knows about her bad reputation and that she is working to change this and that she is just misunderstood… The company has around 200 employees and none of them like her as she’s rude arrogant and is prepared to lie and walk over anyone to get what she wants…

    Have you any advice for me??

    Reply
  112. Matthew
    Matthew says:

    Hello Brad. I broke up with my GF a month ago after 10 months of really good relationship. But for the last 2 months things were going badly. Then the break up came. She says we’ll be never be together and I’ve been making mistakes ever since and that just made her angrier. She was already indifferent after the break up so I don’t really have anything to lose. The reason is that I’m 20 and she is 17 and it was a long distance relationship (100kms away – not a real problem). She says she wants to be alone and she wants to live. I can understand that. I tried many things – writing, begging, miss you etc… I think I made a big mistake today. A friend of mine came to me today and suggested texting my ex something back. We were just writing when he arrived. She didn’t really care as she is indifferent. So this is what I wrote her with the help of my friend: “You know, I just want to know if you have a new boyfriend, because my new girlfriend would like to know” she said something like this: “you’re very funny… 😀 I don’t care about you, you think I’m stupid?? :D” I told her this: “I don’t think it, I know it :D” she just said this: “okay 😛 bye…” Brad I think I made a mistake but it is also possible that my ex will keep thinking if I really have someone and that maybe she lost me forever… who knows… what do you think? I tought it is a good tactic but now I’m not so sure.

    Reply
  113. Kay
    Kay says:

    Brad, as you know my relationship must’ve ended in order for me to need help. except I was the one who ended it. Here’s our story, we met in September 2012, our Sophomore year in high school in a weight lifting class, this kid stole my heart from day one. We were bestfriends before we began dating. We started dating in October, then broke up in December until February. When we got back together everything was magical and amazing. I could truly say I loved him. We broke up numerous times, but he always intiated them, I’ve never left him before. They never lasted long and we would always get back together a few days later. Summer came around and we spent everyday together, rarely fighting, and if we did we fixed it. Going into our Junior year he had to move to two thousand miles away from me. The goodbye was heartbreaking and unbearable. We did the long distance for around a month and he said it was too hard, so in September we broke up. But for months we talked about getting back together but we knew we needed to work on ourselves first. In December we got in a huge fight and he said we shouldn’t talk anymore, we didn’t for almost two weeks and then HE texted me first gently going into the I miss you, and then he called me asking me to get back together. We did, and we were happy for awhile. We got in a fight because I was stressed out about my finals and he was trying to end it.. I said he couldn’t and to give me another chance to fix it, I was just stressed out, so he have me the day, which to him meant “I’m not leaving”, well at the end of the day I felt like nothing was fixed and the break up was coming.. So I ended it scared he would. He said we weren’t going to talk anymore, it was goodbye. He deleted me off Facebook,(which is normal when he’s upset). I kept texting him, and Snapchatting him numerous times to let me fix it because I loved him, about a week and a half later he finally allowed me to, but all we did was sext for two days.. Then stopped texting.. About a week ago he told me he knows what’s best for him and we aren’t getting back together.. Well, I know that’s not it. He’s bipolar, and schizophrenic. I’m the only person who understands his situation with his mind, and home life. I need help fixing this situation. We’ve been broken up for a month now, but I know he still thinks of me.. Help..

    Reply
  114. milly
    milly says:

    Hey brad my ex boyfriend broke up with me about a month and a half ago him and i were so happy together everything was great we were both very much inlove he cared for me like a father and treated me like a bestfriend and a girlfriend he was amazing true and loyal he wasnt the type to drink smoke go out or party he would much rather watch a movie with me and spend his night with me and my family my familt loved him aswell i was his priority i loved him aswell but iwhat screwd us up was my anger issues and me being so impatient i would over react with any little thing to a point where i would disrespect him yell at him sometimes even hit him i would curse and even treat him like a slave bc of my immaturity sometimes for no reason iam so regretful and iccant forgive myself for the way i treated him i was blind towards what i was doing and now that i realized its too late so continuing with my story as time passed little by little he changed to the point where he wasnt the same sweet lovey dovey guy anymore when i would yell at him he would yell back and eventually he dumped me he told me that he was tiered of the way i treated him and that he doesnt love me anymore that people change and feelings do as well and he sorry of he ever promised me a “forever” bc notbing lasts forever he told me that ill always have a place in his heart since i was his first love and we have so many memoroes together he told me that right now all he wants is time alone to focus on his future and dedicate his time to play soccer since hes going pro and traveling the world because of the many tournaments he has he also told me that he wouldnt get with anyone that right now he doesnt want girls in his life not me not anyone and that the only way for his feelings to come back is if he naturally misses me so we havent talked since the break up yea i mesaged him once to wish him a safe and succesful trip when he was leaving to italy for a tournament but that was strictly all it was we didnt have a conversation lately i realized that hes been going out with his close friends and a few other girls but our mutal friends who know about the situation tell me to not worry that hes said it many times that right now hes not looking for anyone but i still get worries because one never knows .. Brad i really miss him and i am truelly sorry for what i did to him when we broke up he told me that maybe in the future of our paths in life unite then maybe we can have sometbing again something stronger and much more real and that he does believe in a future with me but only time will tell but just not now when we said our last goodbyes he said that this isnt a goodbye forever this is only a farewell and a goodbye for now that ill see him again and that hell be back one day but every day i wake up to the same bitter feeling of emptyness i dont know what to do :/

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Milly,

      Sorry to hear about your situation. Again, this sounds like a very typical situation, so all hope is not lost. In my program, I explicitly instruct my clients on how to deal with a situation just like yours, Milly. Right now, you’re putting too much stock into your “old” relationship. As you obviously know, your old relationship didn’t work at all. You need to erase the memory of this old relationship.

      If this sounds confusing, don’t worry. It honestly can’t be explained in just one short comment, so I encourage you to read the other articles on this website.

      Reply
  115. Lori
    Lori says:

    When he broke up with me I said he was making a mistake, that I was going to miss him and that he broke my heart. To which he responded he will miss me too and also said he loves me ( was in love with me at one point). I told him I respect his decision although a mistake but that I was moving on… That was a week ago… Have not spoken since… Is there a chance of re-attracting him? He broke up with me cuz he lost physical attraction and chemistry

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      There absolutely is a chance, Lori. But you HAVE to act soon. Have you watched my video on how to get your ex back? You can view it here through this link.

      If he still says that he misses you and that he still loves you, chances are he probably does, but the attraction that he’s had for you has been lost. You need to get the attraction back and he’ll come running back to you.

      Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Lori… there’s definitely still plenty of hope left! Leave him alone for now… that was the right thing to do, and you shouldn’t try to talk him into changing his mind. Have you watched the video on my website yet? If not, you may find it helpful, and I think my program would be very useful given your situation. Best of luck!

      Reply
  116. Carmen
    Carmen says:

    My boyfriend broke up with me after 10 months . After I did Asc him what he thinks about
    Moving together In a couple of years . He sad that he can’t love and whatnots to live alone. I sad to him that there has to be some commitment , if there is no love,why is he with me . He sad that he likes me but can’t love. That I want something els then he does.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to say, Carmen, but your ex is fully LYING to you.

      I hate to break it to you like this, but it’s not that he can’t love. He can love. This is just an excuse for what inevitably happens if you show a willingness to commit to a person too early. What you have to do is erase all the negativity of your relationship and past and start new. You need to build sexual chemistry with him again.

      Please read the other articles on this website.

      Reply
  117. Shasha
    Shasha says:

    Hey brad, I just broke up with my boyfriend of two years. The thing is everything was fine and aday before he dump me we even went out and have a good time but ten he say its per and he no longer live me. When I ask why ds he wants to break he say its due to my overly possessive nature and how paranoid and insecure I am all the time. I ask him if he love me he say no but I have not move on and he say even if one day he did move on he know that no matter what happen he knows that noone can love him the way I did. I want him back. How do I get about doing it?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      This guy was probably actually speaking the truth. You probably were possessive and paranoid. And above all — the biggest attraction killer of all — you were probably very insecure. These are all legitimate excuses for breaking up with somebody. You probably know this by now.

      In my book, I explain all of these “attraction mistakes”. In fact, there is a list of several traits that push men further and further away. You need to go to ExFactorGuide.com and check out my video to learn some of these brutal attraction-killers!

      Reply
  118. Tiffany
    Tiffany says:

    Hi Brad,I was dating a guy for about a month we were talking about marriage but everything went wrong. He broke up with me about a week before our engagement. After we broke up a friend of. mine told me that he feel bad breaking up but here’s a crazypart he’s begged my friend for me. to take him back what does that tell you when an ex begging me to take him i don’t know what to. do. right. now.HELP ME

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Tiffany… sorry to hear about the breakup. What do you mean that he broke up a week before your engagement? Did he propose to you after only a month of dating? How do you know you were going to get engaged if he broke up with you? Has your ex contacted you since the breakup? If not, then I’d wait a week or so and then casually message him to give him an opportunity to ask you for a second chance. Depending on how that goes, you may want to watch my video presentation and consider investing in my program so that you have a clear idea of how to win him back. Best of luck!

      Reply
  119. Aria
    Aria says:

    Hey Brad, my boyfriend broke up with me two months ago and since I blew up at him over Facebook he hasn’t contacted me. He’s 21 I’m 20. He says he doesn’t want to get back together with me. And that he made himself clear but he wants to stay single before he starts dating again. But he doesnt want to get back with me. We broke up over an argument. We dated for three months. We have many mutual friends. And are into the same hobbies and interests. I’m still in love with him. Is there any hope for me? Or is he gone forever? – See more at: http://www.lovelearnings.com/breakup-conflict/should-i-be-friends-with-my-ex#sthash.BWm9M1RA.dpuf

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Aria. Start by reading all the breakup articles here on this website, because it sounds like you may still be making some mistakes (ie. pushing him to get back together) and need to start applying my “no contact” strategy. Sounds like there’s still a good chance to win him back, but only if you change your strategy. Check out my website (http://www.ExFactorGuide.com) and consider investing in my program if you need more guidance. Good luck, hope it works out!

      Reply

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