chasing ex

Role Reversal: Make Your Ex Chase YOU!

Let me guess: right now you’re assuming that the only way you can get your ex back is if you can convince them to give you a second chance. You probably think that it’s up to your ex to decide whether you’ll ever get back together or be more than just friends.

Actually, that’s not the case… if you follow the correct process and get some expert guidance, you can flip the situation on its head and have your ex chasing after YOU!  [RELATED: How to Get Your Ex Back]

This may sound a bit unrealistic, even “too good to be true”, but believe me, it’s not! The most effective means of winning back your ex is to make him or her chase you and beg you to get back together. Allow me to explain.

Whatever the scenario surrounding the breakup between you and your ex, the fact of the matter is that it was probably not something that you were happy about. If you love this person and want to rebuild a romantic relationship with them, then I’m assuming you were the one who got dumped. Even if you agreed at the time that it was a good idea to spend some time apart, it was probably your ex’s idea to break up in the first place, right?

Shifting the Balance of Power

man clutching his ex in attempt to get her backAt that point in time – when your ex broke up with you – he or she was in a position of complete power. Since they made the decision to break up with you, and the relationship came to a halt despite your desire to stay together, you were made completely powerless. You probably would have been willing to walk 100 miles in a blizzard if it meant your ex would change their mind about the breakup, right?

In other words, if your ex wanted you back, all they had to do was ask… and you would’ve been happy to go along with this.

But now that the breakup is real and your ex hasn’t changed their mind (yet!), it’s time to take back the power and put yourself in a stronger bargaining position. It’s time for you to take control of the situation and remove your ex’s safety net. By doing this, you’ll actually be turning the tables and taking the first step towards making them chase after you.

Avoiding Your Ex Helps to Win Them Back

What’s the very best way to demonstrate to your ex that you no longer need them in your life? By ending all communication with him or her for 3-5 weeks.

This period of time is crucial, because it will be totally unexpected from your ex’s point of view… they still think they’ve got you under their thumb at this point, and probably assume that you’ll come running back in a heartbeat if asked.

rude cell phone womanBy disappearing off your ex’s radar, you’re communicating to them that you’re okay with the breakup and that you are ready to move on and replace your ex with someone new. That may not be true, but it’s important that your ex thinks that’s the case, and trust me, they won’t try to call your bluff.

As the weeks pass by and your ex still hasn’t heard a peep from you, they will be powerless to stop feelings of longing and nostalgia from forming. With you suddenly out of the picture completely, your ex will almost certainly begin to miss you badly and wonder if breaking up with you was a big mistake.

Your ex may have told you they still want to be friends and would like you to continue to be a part of their life.

Why do you think they would suggest that? It’s because they want to keep you as “plan B”: a fallback option in case he or she decides that breaking up with you was a mistake, or in case the single life is a bit less glamorous than they imagined it would be (and it usually is!).

By not talking to your ex for a while, you’ll be sending a clear message: breaking up with you means that they risk losing you completely, and friendship is not an option. You’re not going to stick around to be your ex’s backup plan, and they won’t be able to have you back at the snap of their fingers.

texting girlIf your ex tries to contact you – and they probably will at some point during the ‘no contact’ phase – then you have another opportunity to show your ex they’re no longer in control. (Note: any time you talk to your ex, either by text message, phone call, or in-person meeting, make sure you’re 100% casual and calm.)

You want your ex to see that you’re moving on, that you’re busy with a social life, and that there are lots of other guys or girls lining up to take your ex’s place by your side.

When your ex sees that you’re not fazed by the breakup or the thought of life without them, they’ll begin to realize that the decision to break up with you has major consequences… in other words, your ex will realize that they’ve let go of you and that you’re not coming back just because they want to give you a second chance.

In effect, you’re removing your ex’s safety net and frightening them with the thought of you permanently disappearing from their life.

Wait for Your Ex to Start Chasing After You

If you’ve done what I’ve just described properly – and if your ex has realized that you’re okay without them, and that you won’t be a ‘plan B’ for them if other plans don’t work out – it’s extremely likely that your ex will begin to contact you with increasing frequency.

man begging womanYour ex may try to re-claim the balance of power by throwing you nuggets of affection and by talking about past memories you shared together. Stay strong and don’t give in.

Sooner rather than later, you’ll find that he or she has become more and more desperate to get a response from you.

As your ex begins to get more and more scared at the thought of you being gone forever, they’ll intensify their attempts to hang out with you and maintain contact. Lo and behold, assuming you’ve played your cards right, your ex will actually end up chasing after you.

They’ll ask for forgiveness, tell you the breakup was a mistake, and ask for another chance. When that finally does happen, you can smile, because you’ve successfully flipped the balance of power upside-down and forced your ex to come running after you.

Unfortunately, the process described above is usually more difficult and more drawn-out than the way I described it. You may run into unexpected complications – maybe your ex is dating someone new, maybe they show a lack of interest when you re-establish contact, and so forth – that will leave you confused and wondering what to do next.

Rather than fumble around and make a major mistake that could hurt your chances of getting your ex back for good, you’d be wise to invest in a reputable guidebook that will walk you through every possible scenario you may face.

My program, The Ex Factor Guide, does exactly that: it lays out a bunch of possible “what if” scenarios, and shows you how to overcome these challenges and continue winning back your ex’s heart. I can’t stress enough how important it is to be prepared for whatever your ex throws at you, which is why programs like mine tend to give a big boost to your chances of long-term success.

If you want to learn more about my program or get some additional free advice on the steps required to win back an ex, just head over to my website and watch the brief video presentation (there’s a free video for men here and a free video for women here).

ex back video presentation

Hopefully you found this article helpful, and best of luck in your endeavors!

About Brad Browning

Brad Browning, BA, is the world’s premiere breakup & marriage coach. Brad Browning’s The Ex Factor Guide, a program that teaches men and women how to win back their ex lovers, has sold thousands of copies worldwide. Brad has also released a similar program called Mend The Marriage that teaches married couples how to revitalize the spark, romance, and desire that’s been long forgotten. To top it all off, Brad’s YouTube channel has over 50 thousand subscribers and almost 7 million views, making his videos the most-watched and liked videos on YouTube!
325 replies
  1. Mahem sharma
    Mahem sharma says:

    Brad i need urgent help….me and b.f were together for two and half years….we were classmates….we never approached each other. ..but we fell for each other in less than two weeks after we first met…he was a very calm cute boy…he always craved for me throughtout the relationship. .and i reacted very coldely most of the time throughout the relationship. ..we are from a same hometown…we had everything,every friend every other thing social life n all for each other. ..i use to say him bad words and he always gave me love in return. …then he went to some other place for his studies…we use to go out together only….we were madly in love…i can even see that spark of having me in his eyes….he was like mad for me…i left my modelling carrier for him my job even…i used to visit him every month….he was nevr interested in any other girl….he nvr lookd at any oyher girl….he was full satisfied with me….and then just because i had nothing to do i m at home. ..so i got possesive for him….we had so many fights throughout the relationship and he was the only one to say sorry all the time evn if its my fault…3weeks ago we had a small argue over totally nonsense thing….and he got chngd …i didn’t cl him for two days and he chngd his whatsapp dp with a saying beautiful faces have ugly souls….n then i cld him. He scolded me and told that he doesn’t wanna come bck…its nevr gonna b ok…we’ll always b fighting like this…then we again talked fr 2 to 3 days n then he called me we started talking again but he seems to b motivated for some positive changes and all and he also texted me tht he cn nevr trust me…one night we were talk7ng like one week before and he said i am not that person anymore now i want everything but u…than i said ok then i m dumping u…and i cut the call….nhe called me once only after that night the next day…and then he disappeared. ..he was nevr active on social media…but now he is always online..he is ignoring me not answering my cls..and had blocked mw on facebook….my freind texted him 2 days before and he said he loves me and is nvr gonna date anyone…he willl love me forever and tht he doesn’t wanna meet me ever coz it gonna give both of us the same pain n guilt….he said he will love me forever and he always did….i want him bck i cnt leave witjout him….and he also said that he doesn’t deserve me…and u will get ev4ery thing in ur life he said he left me for my gud….i textd his friends they said he is disturbed n he nvr at look any girl and he always talk about me…our happy life..they dnt know we had breakup. .i cld his room mate and he said…he is really happy now…he had indulge himself totally…he seemd to b ok nad moved on to him…and when in past i had asked my b.f that ur roommate said that ur ok now..he said i know myself btr…i m dieng insidebut I’ll nvr show….i want him pls help me brad he had also mentioned that he will do gyming hardly frm now and concentrate on his study only

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there, Mahem! I suggest to let him miss you first. You ought to show him that you’re thriving since the breakup and get on with your life as much as possible. Employ the 30-day “no contact” rule. During this stage, it’s important that you also regain the balance and your confidence back to yourself and be happy even in your own company. All right? Now I know that this all seems the opposite of what you should be doing, but trust me, it works! Letting him feel that you don’t need him in your life can do wonders in the future, especially since the problem stems from you being clingy/possessive in the past. Once you start to see some progress, sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon?

      Reply
  2. Reema
    Reema says:

    Hi Brad, I have been with my ex since 2013 and we lived together since 2014. We were so happy until I noticed that whenever he get mad he would hit me so bad. Last year 2016 I reach my limit and cheated on him. I know I should not do that but he left me with no choice. He joined the military, and he is in the basic training now, and he will graduate just in week. He calles me whenever he have the chance and send me letters once a week. Now, he sent my friend a letter saying that ” I want you to help Reema find a good job, please help her, I will send my car and my stuff back to my family, I need to move on, it hurts but I have to do it.” Please Brad what should I do, I really wan him in my life. Help me with advice.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that, Reema. I understand where you’re coming from but what actually happened here was instead of getting help from him abusing you (please think twice before wanting to get him back) what happened was you ended up creating another problem. There are two separate issues here that need to be addressed. First is a threat to your well being. Have you tried seeking help for domestic abuse? Watch this, first: Is Your Ex the Right Person For You? Next is the cheating issue. Forgiveness takes time as well as rebuilding trust, but this is totally up to your ex. I suggest to seek counseling first as being abused can have long term psychological effects. And since the abuse is what led you to cheat, it’s important to do you first and heal from this experience, okay? It’s a long way to go but it can be fixed, assuming he’s willing to change his behaviour when he’s angry. But take care of the first issue first before trying to resolve the second one. All right? For now, definitely give each other time first. Take care!

      Reply
  3. Glenn
    Glenn says:

    Hey Brad,
    My ex gf broke up with me 2 months ago (this is one of many over the last year). I’ve always held my ground as far as no contact and every time she is the one that initiates the contact. So just recently I saw her at the same mud run we both participated in. She ran into me (possibly on purpose. I also knew she was there but never made an attempt to say hello) had a few words then she just walked away….no good bye or nothing. I was a bit peeved but said “Whatever” to myself. Later that day she text me to tell me that the run was harder this time around than last nov (we were still together then) said she was glad to see me do it. So last week, we had some back n forth banter, never talking about our relationship, just talking about inside joke type stuff, but this past weekend she sent me a picture of a sunset and said “Thought of you when I saw this sunset. Take care” I didn’t know how to take that message. It confused me. “What is she trying to say?” So just a few days ago she sends me another pic of palm trees from Palm Springs (she loves that place and finds it tranquil. Plus its her bday week) and tells me “If life was only this easy” which was sent at 3am, which she never does. I answered her the next day mid afternoon to tell her “Looks amazing. Enjoy it!” Her reply, “Thank you! How are you?” This comment confused me too. Is she trying to win back affection from me? I replied a few hours later and said “I’m great thanks! Hope you enjoyed being under the palm trees today”
    Since then, no comment or reply, but I know its only been 24hours and I shouldn’t be waiting around for a response, but I do want to know what these messages mean lately? Does she want me to engage with her more. I do miss her a ton but I never ever show that I do, even though I am heart broken over this break up. What advice do you have for me and how should I take these messages? Thank you!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      It means you’ve been on her mind! While it’s not a strong sign like what you see here: Signs Your Ex Wants You Back it is a good start! But have you been actively trying to get your ex back? Don’t wait for her to have an epiphany. Keep track of what you’ve been doing to see if it’s productive or not, as far as getting your ex back goes. Have you checked out my guide yet? It may be time to revamp your techniques, considering it’s been 2 months. Before anything else though, take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting your ex back. Answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
      • Glenn
        Glenn says:

        Hey Brad,
        Thanks for replying. This helps out tremendously. I did take the quiz and got a 71 as my score. Apparently I need to act quickly, but with that being said, how do I go about it? Do I start being more proactive? I watched the Signs Your Ex Wants You Back video and #1 and #5 have definitely been happening. The frequency of texting was descent last week. Just towards the end of the week it started to get less frequent but that’s when she started sending those pics of nostalgia. I just want to go about this correctly and win her back. Thank you!

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          Hi there! Getting an ex back is a gradual process, so there’s no one-action solution for everything. Okay? The “no contact” phase is a good start, so do that first if you haven’t yet. If you have. then I’m glad you’ve completed it. There are two more phases to go with a few other steps in between (in the right order). What I’m trying to say here is it’s a 3-phase process, and it’s a bit complicated to explain it all on here, but I made an overview in the hopes of making people understand, so watch it here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) or read my guide for the entire process. Good luck!

          Reply
  4. Subham Chaudhuri
    Subham Chaudhuri says:

    Hey Brad its Subham. My gf broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I really did evrything to please her like pleading and begging on my knees also. But she didnt listen to me. She said she want to enjoy the single girly life without any attachments to anybody. First few days she was saying to be frnds only and i wrongly said yes to it also. But afterwards when i was again asking her to give our relation another chance she said that i cant keep her forcefully and i was wasting my time. She also said that she doesnt want to be frnds also because ex can be frnds. I asked her to meet me for one last time she said okk but also told that meeting me was not going to change her decision but she would meet me only because i was asking it for the last time. She said me that she would inform me abt the time to meet . But after that she said that we wont talk or even contact also. But nor she informed me abt the meeting time nor she contacted me. From that day that is the 21st of Feb this month I m continuing my no contact period. Will it work.? We had a relation of 3.5 yrs and had many intimate memories. I really love her and want her back. But i fear if she has already read some articles over forgetting ur ex or how to move on or something like that over the internet and she has learnt to control her feelings and emotions. Wht will happen then.?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Subham Chaudhuri, sorry to hear that. Begging/pleading never helps. Here, watch this, first to help orient you of this fact: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back. It’s time to shift the power away from your ex and shift it back to you instead. All right? I suggest you stay busy with a lot of stuff like hobbies, work, etc. focus on what makes you feel good and take time to heal as well. Also read my Ex Factor Guide, which covers commonly possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Good luck!

      Reply
  5. Yo-yo
    Yo-yo says:

    Ok, situation is like this. We started to say Hi to each other after 5 months (He broke up… Well, he made an argument out of nowhere etc )During this period he was parking his car next to mine. Now, he started to talk with my son (conversation in few sentences. Earlier was only Hi) and he unblocked me on his phone. When we run to each other (we are neighbours but almost 5 month we never bumped on each other and suddenly we started) he always says Hi first, we smile to each other, have eyes contact…
    He was always saying that I’m perfect for him. Any advice?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Saying hi is basically like two acquaintances passing by each other on the streets. You ought to have something more solid as I wouldn’t suggest you put your hopes on that. Anyway have you been actively trying to get your ex back? Don’t wait for this person to have an epiphany. Keep track of what you’ve been doing to see if it’s productive or not, as far as getting your ex back goes. Have you checked out my guide yet? It may be time to revamp your techniques. Before anything else though, take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting your ex back. Answer as honestly as possible.Good luck!

      Reply
  6. Beth
    Beth says:

    Hello Brad, I succesfully completing no contact rule after new years, and I reached my ex in mid january, he responded very positive he was texting back and forth, he seemed very interested. we finally met in early february and I went to his apartment, unfortunately I was so weak and we didnt have sex but I did Oral so the next day he didnt texted me, so i decided to text him and he completely ignoring me, since then he has been so distant, I know it is my fault and i ruined all the progress by intimate with him. i need help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Watch this to help guide you in the future: What To Do If Your Ex Wants Sex. Depending on the damage done, it may or may not be too late…but don’t make the same mistakes! On the flip side, however, you could just be overreacting, so don’t be so hard on yourself. Most people are guilty of this at some point. So if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  7. Elly
    Elly says:

    Hey! My ex broke up with at the start of December after a year and a half together. I could feel him getting stressed out towards the end but he didn’t really communicate it with me and said he was too busy for a relationship and that because of how little sleep he got he was always grouchy with me. This was true. Anyway, I spent most of December upset and we were in some contact but he made a comment about how he was less stressed now and that he wasn’t saying he didn’t want to ever get back together with me- just not right now. So in January, I implemented no contact- ignored him for just over a month whilst I lost 7kg of weight, went out, made new friends, got a new hairstyle, started seeing new people (he doesn’t know about that). Now we’ve started speaking again (no contact ended a week ago), there’s a definite power shift and he double texts me when I ignore him to keep the conversation up. I start all conversations, keep them very casual and usually end them quite quickly too by saying I’m busy. He asked me “how are you actually doing” last conversation (as if he genuinely believes I’m still crying at home about him after two and a half months, little does he know lol) so I said “all good, just busy”. I don’t know if he asked that because he isn’t dealing well with it. I don’t know how to utilise this fully though to get him to come back to me. What’s the next step?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Elly! Focus on the second phase where you re-establish contact with your ex and have some exchange here and there. Glad to know you’re doing well! You may want to incorporate these techniques, too: How to Get Your Ex Back Using Facebook and How to Show Your Ex You’ve Changed. A better alternative would be to read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential! Good luck!

      Reply
  8. Peace
    Peace says:

    Can’t believe i am calling him my ex. Well we dated for 6years and got engaged at the 7th year and 10months later after the engagement, he started coming home late, telling me he was going for a business trip , one day i checked his phone and found a girl’s train ticket he bought with his brother’s credit card and i asked he turned down the question. One day i asked him boldly if he he was seeing another girl , he later told me yes. I cried , i destoryed most of our thgs, I was mad at him, but deep inside of me i still love him. He decided to leave the house. I miss him so much that anytime i see him i would want physical contact and he would be so cold. I keep calling him or texting and at times he will not reply so fustrating. Don’t know what to do. I need my man back please help Brad.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. It seems like you’ve had had a lot of experiences together. 7 years is a long time and I understand you miss you and want him back, however, you ought to do the opposite. Employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. Watch one of my latest posts here: How to Make Your Ex Obsess Over You (New for 2017!) In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, at http://www.breakupbrad.com Take care!

      Reply
  9. Hira
    Hira says:

    Brad, my ex and i broke up for about 5 months ago. She tried broke up with me 3 times. But i was the one who stopped her. Now she is completely out from me and she says that she is happy now rather than the past. I have the guilty part and i want her back. I used no contact and plenty of your techniques also. She still answer my calls but do not reply to my texts. I think she is up with another guy too. What shall i do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man! Sorry to hear that. It may be time to keep track of what you’ve been doing to see if it’s productive or not, as far as getting your ex back goes. Have you checked out my guide yet? It may be time to revamp your techniques. Before anything else though, take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting your ex back. Answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  10. Bishal sonar
    Bishal sonar says:

    Hey brad m from i need discuss smthng with u that my gf has broke up with me we was in good relation n the only the thing is that i used to strick her soo much i used to restrict her and one guy was their who is her friends i told her not to be friend with him but she dont listn to me she took out new sim and started to txt wit hm

    Reply
  11. Bronson
    Bronson says:

    My ex and I dated for 2 years and broke up about 6 months ago because I was talking to other girls as friends and she said I would stress her out. We’ve had sex multiple times since then but not recently. She started talking to the dude she told me NOT to worry about, and they appeared to be together for a couple months. I cut of communication with her for a month and she came to my house and gave me a christmas present and texted and called me when i didn’t wish her a happy birthday. She asked me to dinner and said she had missed me about a month after no contact period and she said she was single again and wanted to see me. When do I know to text her after this and also when to make a move on her psyicaly?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Bronson! Getting an ex back is a process, so there’s no one-action move to get her back right away. 🙂 As for how to text her, these may help: 4 Texts that Will Turn Women On. Text her and continue to do so as she warms up to you, however, back off a bit if she goes cold. The key is knowing when to do what and this is what my Ex Factor Guide can help you out with. Read it many times over until you master it, all right? Good luck!

      Reply
  12. jeanne
    jeanne says:

    Brad, I was the one who was wrong, but I made him wrong and really put him down and left him with no confidence. When we broke up about 5 months ago, I was an emotional wreck. we were in minimal contact for a few months, but I kept my distance. I never apologized for the part I played. Now he found someone else and is practically living with her. I want him back so badly, at least the opportunity to create something new, but I think he’s gone. Should I apologize? Keep in mind, we are in our 60’s, were together 5 years and loved each other madly. He wanted to get married and I just wanted to live together. It’s all very complicated. At this time of our life, we thought we had the one person, finally, to grow old with. I’m so heartbroken. Help.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Jeanne. I’m not sure what really happened, but if you’re 100% convinced that you’ve done him wrong somehow, then yes, an apology may be due. It was a pretty serious relationship, so he’s likely rebounding. Watch this: Signs Your Ex’s Rebound Will Fail. Anyway I meant to ask, are you willing to change and start a family or marry him if you do get back together though? If not, then you two could be going around in circles here and there’s just innate incompatibility… so it may be best to stay broken up. But if you’ve had had time to think and you realize you do want to get married, then it’s time to start taking steps to try and get him back. I’m sorry, but there’s lots of missing pieces here, sign up for my coaching program instead so I can look into your situation more clearly and figure out what’s going on, then guide you on a regular basis. Talk soon?

      Reply
  13. Hannah
    Hannah says:

    My ex and I were together for 2 years and he dumped me a couple months ago. We had been arguing because I had recently gone away from school and I felt like he was not giving me any attention and he felt like he was and that I was just complaining and the situation just kept getting worse and worse. Also this is his first year of college and his friends were partying and he wanted to and I didn’t really like the idea of him partying so that caused some major issues. We broke up and he said I was never happy and I complained about everything he did. So we just stopped talking I was hurt by it but I couldn’t get him to change his mind. However 2 weeks later I changed my profile pics on all social media sites and then he texted me asking if I had someone new we talked back and forth for a while but he didn’t want me back. Since we have been broken up the longest we have gone without talking is two weeks because anytime he txts me I answer because I’m afraid to lose him. We have hooked up a couple times and a month ago he told me he still loved however the last time I saw him was a week ago and he seemed to go back and forth with his feelings he told me he didn’t want to be in a relationship and he enjoyed not having someone to answer to and he was happier. Then I asked if he still loved me he said yes but then I asked if he cared about me and why he didn’t wanna be together and he changed to I don’t care and I just wanna be single.. I decided to stop talking to him and just see what happens but I’m afraid if I go too long without talking to him or txting him he will forget about me. I’m not sure what I should do?

    Reply
  14. Sam_5592
    Sam_5592 says:

    Right 3 weeks ago tomorrow I went round to see my gf (at the time) we had a little tiff over noting major and it pissed her off and we didn’t talk for a couple of hours. But we had a talk and sorted out our problems, she said I need to start taking her out more and putting her before my family etc. So I agreed and we were okay, heck I even stayed the night!!

    So the next day we were okay texting as normal, then Tuesday she was fine until I asked to see her on the night and she said she wasn’t ready and needed space still even after our talk? Which annoyed me and we had a little disagreement. Then Wednesday we were supposed to go shopping but she canceled because she was tired? I had enough of the BS so I went to her door to have a face to face. She told me she wants space but she doesn’t want to split up? But I wouldn’t leave her alone so I pretty much forced her to end things (shittest idea ever) I think we would of been okay if I didn’t go round to confront her!

    Anyways I began pestering her for the next 1-2 weeks and all I got was ignored. So I went round to hers again to pick up my stuff and she told me it was over for good?! 🙁 so I went NC for 4 days, then messaged her saying “I’m going to work on myself etc and maybe we can re consider things in the new year”? To my surprise she replied wih ” yes I agree, let’s have some space and then see if we want to reconsider”

    So I left her then until Christmas day and messaged her saying “merry Christmas etc” She replied with the same back, but I tried to have a joke with her and she took it completely the wrong way and flipped. She messaged something like “leave me alone now, I wanted to see you today to give you your gifts but forget it” then I panicked so started pestering her again for 2 days with no reply.

    So I sent her a text apologising etc and began NC now since boxing day. Since then I haven’t heard from her, but she’s been around to my nans, had a chat saying she still loves me etc but my texting pisses her off and she needs to sort her head out? She also dropped my Christmas gifts off there.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup. You’re right though, you really ought to make it a point to cut off contact for at least 30 days. This may help: How to Stop Yourself from Contacting Your Ex. Depending on the damage done, it may or may not be too late…but don’t make the same mistakes! On the flip side, however, you could just be overreacting, so don’t be so hard on yourself. Most people are guilty of this at some point. So if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  15. Kevin
    Kevin says:

    Hey brad my girlfriend and I only dated for 2 weeks. I have been bombarding her with feelings and funny messages. But her mom took her phone so as soon as she gets her phone back she’ll read the message I send her, since she read the note she’ll definitely read the text messages I send to her. But she likes my friend but my friend is dating someone now. What should I do ? I still have feelings for her.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that, Kevin. In this case, it’s best to consider moving on from this. I know this may not be what you wanted to hear but 2 weeks isn’t exactly a lot of time to be spending with someone. Whatever the case may be, act responsibly yet try not to take things too seriously now since you may be in a period of growth and lots of changes, including preferences in attitude, personality, etc. Focus on your studies instead, all right? Take care!

      Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Thanks for your interest in getting my program. The payment system involves either Clickbank or Paypal. Paypal, if I’m not mistaken, allows you to link your bank account to make any online purchase. So coordinate with your bank about it? Take care!

      Reply
  16. jon
    jon says:

    Hey brad, Me and my ex were together for 61/2 years. In these coming months i was actually going to propose to her. Anyways, She dumped me 3 days ago. She told me its because she lost attraction for me. Before our break up she was not happy, she would not kiss me like before and the sex was boring. I made a lot of mistakes like putting her second behind my boys. I pretty much took her for granted. I made the mistake of begging her to stay with me which i now know is a big mistake. She said she need to stay true with herself and find herself and if she took me back it would only have been to not make me hurt. Like you say she is in total control of the break up. She said she loves me but is not in love with me. She is the girl of my dreams but i took her for granted and got comfortable. It has been 3 days into the no contact plan. Do you believe i still have a chance to win her back or should i move on as much as it hurts.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup. Yes, complacency does kill a relationship faster than you could imagine. I suggest you let her miss you first, all right? She may just be super upset of being neglected for some time? Most women contemplate about breaking up and is usually slow to do it. Giving her space ought to let her come to an “emotional neutral” as opposed to brewing over being taken for granted. Watch this, first: How to Make Your Ex Miss You.

      Reply
  17. jaski
    jaski says:

    i really need your help i met my ex after the no contact period and everything went really nicely we were together with some friends and had a great time together there was some good touching and i felt that things can go really well for us…. but the next day i meet her she seems really disinterested and sad, i just couldnt understand what happened everything went so nicely a day before then suddenly she looked uncomfortable and disinterested in me….can u help me with this??

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      That’s quite common. She may need more than a month’s space to be dealing with you, so back off a bit, okay? Let her reach out to you too, from time to time, especially since you’ve already completed the “no contact” phase for a month, I supposed? Never rush it. Mixed emotions from an ex is a common theme when a breakup is still fresh and this is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with this ex. You both need to clear your minds first, all right? A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I’ve discussed here, watch it to learn a few tips to understand your situation better: Why Your Ex Gives You The ‘Hot & Cold’ Treatment (Mixed Messages Explained!). Good luck!

      Reply
      • jaski
        jaski says:

        Thanks for the advice but she just told me that she is seeing someone else and has fallen for someone else and it really broke my heart….i dont see any point in pursuing her now, thanks for the advice and the book really helped me learn a lot

        Reply
  18. Mas
    Mas says:

    Hi Brad! i I hope you’re all well ?! I’ve been watching a lot of your videos and they have given me an insight on a lot of things. I was hoping to get a deeper awareness on my current situation. I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday due to no care, little effort and some lies that i have caught him out on. He has lied to me 4 times about not going to certain parties and i have found my myself through social medias that he has attended to such parties behind my back and lied about them. When i confronted them about it they always claim that i am ‘controlling’ & ‘angry’ about such situations hence the reason he keeps it a secret. Even though i have been like that in the past, i have told them if they just tell me id come to an understanding. I could not handle the lies anymore and broke up with them via long text message, which included me confronting them about their lie, telling them I’ve always helped them more than their friends, then followed by dissing them & saying how other girls are welcomed to him, then telling him I’ve moved on to socialising with other guys and sent a screenshot of a guy complimenting me, then ending it on how he should delete my number and saying my life is better off without them. I then took some selfies saying i am going out to party to enjoy my successful life. He then later replied ‘byeeee’ and then hour later replied ‘I am happy you’ve moved on and i wish the best in whatever you do! after that i read it and did not reply on whats app. I would like a little clarity with your help on this situation to see how he possibly took me breaking up in regards to the message he sent and whether there is any chance of them coming back ?

    Despite all that drama i am upset and hurt over the bad times and how they never put up a fight for me after breaking up with them. For the course of the relationship its been majority of me being attached to him and me always coming back to him after arguments and me always trying to solve the problems. They practically had me worked out and once said during an argument ‘he believes this won’t work because of the arguments and negativity’ despite the good times and amount of times I’ve been there for him. I want him to come back but be able to treat me better and value me, but is that possible with the no contact rule and everything you advised after everything that has gone on between me and my ex? I’d highly appreciate your advise to gain more information !

    Thank you
    M

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Mas. Sorry to hear that. There’s still no excuse for lying, if his goal was to build a stronger connection and establish trust; however, have you really been overbearing with him? Most people would want their own little freedom, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’d stray… so do you trust him and shown him that you trusted him prior to all the lying? If you’ve done your part but he’s not doing his, then it may be time to let him go. Re-assess your relationship first with a clear mind, so cut off contact and remove yourself from the situation in order to look objectively okay? Good luck!

      Reply
      • Mas
        Mas says:

        Thank you for your response i highly appreciate the work you have been publishing for people who go through such problems ! In response to the your reply I’ve always had trust issues to be honest and they’ve picked that up, i haven’t really ever told him i trust him either. My main issue is whether he will ever come back using the no contact rule? Despite when texted the break up message i broke i said i moved on and said i am socialising with other guys etc… is there still a chance of them coming back after they replied ‘i am happy you’ve moved on and i wish you the best in whatever you do in life’ ?

        Thank you again Brad
        xxx

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          You’re welcome! Your best bet is still to cut off contact. The alternative, which is constantly bothering him or texting/calling him from time to time will certainly NOT work and more often than not, will only annoy him further. Let him miss you instead, okay? With enough space, you’d also get to see why you have trust issues. Is it his actions that’s making you feel insecure or do you really just have trust issues regardless of what he does to show you he’s committed to you? Discovering the root cause of the problem is very important so it won’t affect future relationships — whether it’s with your ex or with someone new. If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

          Reply
  19. Mary
    Mary says:

    Hi brad , hope u r dng good . Mine is ldr. V had a breakup 8 months ago. Aftr no contact period he came but as a frnd . Now he is talking as a frnd . What shld i do ? How shld i make role reversal . Shld i act like i dnt want him ? Next month is his birthday . Can i wish him ? Awaiting for ur reply .
    Thank u . U help us a lot by giving us free advice too . God bless u .

    Worried gal

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. Getting an ex back is a process, so there’s no one-action solution for everything. Okay? The “no contact” phase is a good start, so do that first if you haven’t yet. If you have. then I’m glad you’ve completed it. There are two more phases to go with a few other steps in between. What I’m trying to say here is it’s a 3-step process… and it helps to learn the basics here: How to Get Your Ex Back.

      Reply
  20. Kay
    Kay says:

    After a bumpy 7 year relationship it has been one year nine months post breakup. He cheated and lied was in and out of jail and jobless but I stood by him for the sake of our children and my love. Pregnant he left me to be single and slept with an old drug addict. I was devastated and miscarried. Close with his family I cried often to my ex’s brother to help me get my ex back. It backfired. The brother professed he was in love with me that I deserved better and should run away with him. I refused and the married brother retreated. I got back with my ex but never said anything as not to destroy their relationship or the brothers with his wife. The brother kept coming onto me every few months. Again my ex told me he did not want to be with me and his brother came on to me. We were alone he tried groping me at the time he was traveling between states for work and begged for me to give him something for his memory I did touch him and I got way too close but no sexual act was ever completed I cut off all contact with the brother blocked his phone calls and completely ignored him. Months passed and he tried reaching out to me again he messaged me on Facebook and sent me a whole bunch of pictures I had no idea he had taken from our previous meeting. Needless to say my ex found those pictures since I never lie or hide anything I neglected to delete them and now he hates me. Over the past year and 9 months he comes in and out of my life months at a time when he’s not with me he runs to a much younger woman who has been having a relationship with and then he’ll come back to me and then he’ll go back to her I’m devastated I want nothing more but to make things work with him but I believe that his pride will never allow it. He does not believe that I did not do anything with his brother and of course his brother lied said it was me and they no longer have a relationship either. He even keeps the pictures and send them to me every time that were fighting I have done everything I can to prove to him that I love him and never at any time wanted to be with anyone else. I have not been able to move on at all and I’m not sure I ever will be able to.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear you’re going through all this. Perhaps the biggest mistake was giving the brother “something” when all you wanted to do was fix your relationship with the ex. You’re right, his male pride may have taken over, especially it’s his own brother…but he also needs to see for himself the role that he played that led to all this, so give it time, okay? Be prepared for the fact that in your case, he may not come to this conclusion ever, judging by the way he’s been acting. So consider moving on from this, all right? Take care!

      Reply
  21. Baffled
    Baffled says:

    Hi Brad – I dated a guy for two months and we broke up over a lack of communication on both our parts. We got back together after a month apart and were together for two more months. Two weeks ago he broke up with me through text saying he’s an angry person and would probably be best to leave him alone and that he was sorry. I told him I was hurt that he pushed me away again and I was confused but because I love him (first time I said it) that I would leave him alone, but that he wasn’t alone. I’ve heard nothing from him. I have his key that I was going to mail back, but I haven’t yet. Part of me thinks it would be better to just leave him be, but the other part wants to send it back saying I wish we could have worked things out. I’m baffled as to why he was angry (pretty sure he wasn’t mad at me because I haven’t done anything) and why he pushed me away. I don’t know what to do. Any advice?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Baffled, interesting choice of a name. 🙂 If you’re really confused why he’s mad at you, then the situation may have hit a dead end. It’s either that… or you just haven’t been giving yourself enough time to clear your head. In most cases, it’s the latter, so be sure to take some time out to really see what went wrong, okay? A man won’t do a complete 180 if he’s happy, so re-evaluate your relationship from an unbiased perspective as much as possible. If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis.

      Reply
  22. Kiara
    Kiara says:

    Hi brad. I’ve been watching some of your videos and they were ideas i had but wasn’t sure about them. my ex and i met at the beginning of the semester and we had a real connection but got really close really fast. he had been on and off with this other girl for about 2 years but he told me that i made him not want anything to do with her and realize how much of a negative influence she was in his life. he cut her off and she went crazy but he ignored it. we were perfectly fine for about 3 weeks but last week he came to me and told me he had to end it. he claims he doesn’t love himself and he needs to get himself together. i also get the fact that he said he never gave himself time to heal before getting into it with me. we texted after the breakup only for a day really and it was just because i couldnt talk to him face to face without crying. he says he doesnt know if he will ever be with anyone ever again but i find that hard to believe. i obviously still really love him but i’m scared of him moving on to someone else before giving us another chance. i’ve stopped texting him but i see him around campus from time to time and we say hi but that’s it. i’m not sure what to do or think but i want to believe that our connection will stay strong enough to bring him back. i also met his whole family and spent 2 days with them so i know he must have felt serious about me to do that. im just confused right now but im willing to wait on him but but im just not sure what to do.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Kiara. Sorry to hear it. I hate to say this but the way he has acted and what he told you both suggests that he’s not over this other girl yet. She may have been a bad influence, but human emotions are really pretty complex. He obviously has a longer history with her and he needs to process what happened, not to mention the on and off dynamic they had or still have. You could easily become the rebound here if you don’t watch yourself, so tread carefully, okay? It has to be his decision to want to choose you, but he may have a long way to go before that can truly happen, so consider moving on from this in the meantime and open up your options, all right? If you do bump into him around campus, watch and follow the tips here: How to Act Around Your Ex. Take care!

      Reply
  23. Confused girl
    Confused girl says:

    Hi brad . Thank u fr ur wonderful wrk by guiding the broken hearts. I was in relationship about 5 yrs . We had a breakup bcoz of misunderstanding . I was so possessive so i was seeking his attention more which he failed to give me. We were in distance relationship. I told his mom about our love but he refused to her that he doesnt love me anymore (in Jan 2016) . Aftr that i cried more . I dint talked about one month as u said . After that i approached but he said i love u but i cant continue our relationship. I felt cheated and yelled at him. I also talked about the past . So he said dont talk to me any more. But after 2 to3 hrs he sent me a message im sorry with crying smiley . He also begged me to talk to him . But he doesnt want me to marry him . Im confused . Am i friendzoned ?! I feel like im cheated . Im the one who is unhappy . I dont know how to forget these thoughts . I want to be happy . I dont want to be jealous of him . I dont want to be possessive of him . I want to be bold enough to let go of him. I want him to chase me and miss me . Pls suggest me . I cant join ur program as i am student . I hope u will give me suggestion.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup. You’re likely being friendzoned. The thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking, aka you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, okay? Learn the basics here: How to Get Your Ex Back. Good luck!

      Reply
  24. Johnson
    Johnson says:

    Hello brad. My ex says we should break up just because we wont see eachother when we move on to our new schools while we still have texts and chat to communicate. To top this off she ends up going to find a new boyfriend like a day after. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do to win her back. Thanks brad and I hope you understand my situation. Please help me what I should do to get her back.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, sorry to hear that. Have you seen it coming? If she’s this averted to having a long distance relationship, then I supposed she must’ve expressed her dislike for it somehow. I suggest to consider moving on from this or at the very least, cut off contact for at least a month and let her miss you, as it’s a very powerful tool, all right? Space will help her clear her head as well, so stay strong! Watch this: How to Stop Yourself from Contacting Your Ex. Good luck!

      Reply
  25. Nikita chhatlani
    Nikita chhatlani says:

    hey brad!! i don’t know whether it will work in my case or not. I had a 3 years relationship with my bf that time i never paid attention to him …he was very serious about me like i was everything for me after 10 11 months i started to become comfortable with him it was easy going and very nice this year when i got to know he has cheated on me i was disturbed but still he cried for me so i gave him second chance….then he promised he will never leave me do such things but after that i started telling him no for everything not to talk to this or that girl he felt like am not giving him space he broke up many times but this time he said will never come back with me any other. i tried to talk to him but he said i don’t want you and i don’t love you anymore. PLEASE HELP ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TO GET HIM.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Nikita, sorry to hear it. You most likely are still in shock as to how things played out between you two. Granted your history together, you’re well within your rights to be jealous and feel insecure, still you were probably reeling from the blow of his cheating ways. If he can’t understand that, by asking you for space instead of calming you down or reassuring you, then this is a red flag for immaturity. He may not be willing to take credibility of his own actions. But still, you may have been too forgiving too quickly instead of letting him earn your trust back slowly. You ought to have let him make an effort instead, okay? Anyway give him space and work on yourself and on your own life. If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  26. Marcela
    Marcela says:

    Hello Brad

    I would like to explain to you my recent situation: My ex broke me up almost two months ago. We had a relationship for a year and a half; we were living and working together as cruise ship photographers, Everything was going great even when sometimes we argued. but in the last months he seemed really cold towards me, I was trying that he opened up to me but he told me maybe it was for the job. We went to vacation at the same time to our respective countries (he is from Ireland, I am from Colombia) and our idea it was that I resigned from my job for medical reasons, and he did one last contract before meeting each other in Ireland at the end of the year…. I had always embrace him to be honest with me, that I would listen; during the whole vacation he was talking of me to his parents (that Ive already met) and even when I talked by internet with one of his best friends, this guy let me know how excited was to be able to meet “someone who is such a massive part of his life”, and even when I sent him some “selfies” he was like “wow babe, you look amazing… thats the woman I love” but two weeks after he started his contract, he suddenly broke me up because he didnt miss me and that he didnt feel the same way as before… when I try to cut off the comunication, he said “maybe you dont want to, but I still want contact with you” and how “he stills believes in me as a wonderful person”
    but when I said ok I trust you, lets talk as friends “how are you doing?”, he never replies back even when he swear to me that he wouldnt cut off the contact with me and that he will answer.

    Now, I am pretty sure that he is dating another woman…. I dont know what to think Brad, he told me that he loved me and that he had never loved someone in that way before and it seems I have been replaced in less than 2 months…. I have been suffering and killing my head all this time while for him seems that nothing has happened. I had started the “NC” more that a week ago but to be honest I dont know if to just give up on him. Sometimes I wonder if he ever loved me; because I feel like something he discarted when it wasnt useful for him anymore…

    Please let me know what you think

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Marcela, sorry to hear about the breakup. There are often telltale signs when someone loses interest so a breakup isn’t really a shock. Take time to recover from this and process what has just happened. This should help you see things from an objective perspective to know the roles that you both played. Cut off contact for around a month or more though as being friends with him is a big mistake. Okay? Being friends with an ex, especially right after a breakup, is a bad idea, and even more so if you want this ex back. Watch this video so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively (follow the principles), at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”) and read my Ex Factor Guide for guidance. Good luck!

      Reply
  27. Help
    Help says:

    So my ex broke up with me on 6/1. I unfortunately kinda begged that day, then a week after we slept together. A day after he seemed to want me back and want to talk to me i was hesitant but then he said to wait a lil while so he gathers his thoughts. He then said he made the right decision and i flipped a lil. I later apologize and asked him to please lets talk an that i was sorry for not being as affectionate as he wanted to at least give me chance to talk. He said he was upset cus it took him breaking up for me torealize and that when he got back from vegas we would talk. He got back and nothing, i waited a few days and then asked if we could talk he said he was busy. Again i waited a few day asked again and nothing that was 3 weeks after break up. So i gave up. He called to say he eposited money he owed me. I said i wished him best that i loved him and t hurt that i gave him multiple chances in our relationship and he couldn’t do same for me, and said i wish him happiness, this was on 6/30. I went into no contact. I have done a lot, i went on vacay, i lost a lil weight, and advance career in this time he posted some mean things about (we are not following each other on social media, but its public) he said something bout you want your girl to loose weight break up see how fast the hit the gym, and something like nothing like a woman going to kitcen with her mother to learn to cook ##mexicanwoman- i am not mexican and he did complain i wasnt putting effort into learningto cook. So mid july he went to see his friend in sd and a girl who is his cousin bff met him there. In other words they planned before 7/16 to meet there. This girl i have met, she lives 2-3hrs from where he does and she flirted with him in front of me when we met her a cpl yrs back. She is pretty and has big boobs.they obviously slept together and now she has on he ig profile #mexicanwoman and his full name with a heart next to it. He has not posted anything saying he is with her but did post about the cooking and a sexual song that she liked (he did with me also, its a hing he does). So i have gone past 30 nc because i mademistake i 1st month. He did block me from everything on 7/20 and unblocked me last week, and he posted “when someone elses happyness makes you happy you know you made right decision ” which i know was about me an his decision to end with me. I have only posted positive things. So now i want to establish a raport, knowing that he will be seeing this girl on 8/26 weekend in sd for his friends bday. I dont know how to message him… i don’t kow if i should since he is seeing this girl and though i know they have seen each other idk how many times. And idk if this is considered a rebound, its probably been 2 months of them talking, 1 of them sleeping together. I need help. I cant afford the guide right now but was hoping to purchase next week. But i have consciously done 49 days nc. I hope that wasnt too long but he did block so i couldnt get in contact with him at30 day anyway. What type of 1st text should i send? And should it be text or messenger which is his prefered form of contact? And do you think this girl is rebound? They are mainly communicating through phone since she live so far. Oh yeah i dont live that close to him either i live an hr away. Any advice will help even if little

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation as well. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  28. Soumya banik
    Soumya banik says:

    My case goes like this.
    She had a crush on a boy and suddenly she changed the facebook relationship status from in a relationship to nil. Then after long try i got into her fb account and found out that she is talking so nicely wotha another boy. And that same boy told her to yo remove her relationship status. In their chats they talked all nonsense about me. She said that i am irritating and tgat boy said that i am an asshole.
    Now she is trying to olay a safe game so she didn’t give me brk up. But now i know the truth. And i love her so much that i still cant stop loving her. When i talked with her about this matter. She is keeping quiet. Now please say what shiuld i do

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear it. This is most likely considered as emotional cheating, which may or may not escalate to something physical. Majority would decide to just move on for good and start afresh with someone else, but a few would still fight for the relationship, so this all depends which side you’re in and what your views are. There is no right or wrong answer here because it is your relationship and it’s personal to you. Make sense? Anyway men and women cheat for different reasons, but if you think your ex is worth it and if there’s been a genuine connection between you two before the cheating happened, then try to see the roles that you BOTH played that led to all this mess and see once and for all if it can be resolved or not, okay? Really take your time before deciding though and be sure not to make any hasty decisions from an emotional place. All right? Good luck!

      Reply
  29. Alica
    Alica says:

    Hey Brad! Great reading! But not sure how its gonna or should work in my case. I had a 6 months long relationship, but I know this guy already 5 years. We were kinda friends, but not superclose friends, there were times we didnt talk few weeks or months, then we had some good conversation etc. We had our lives, our relationships here and there and then at some point happened we were both single and he showed his romantic interest in me, contacting me a lot, etc, and I started to like him ore too, so it started. First 3 months or so it was like a dream, totally perfect. Then he started slowly distance himself from me and at the end, to make long story short – he told me that the reason is that he doesnt feel like having serious relationship right now in his life and he wants to be single, that he didnt expect he is gonna feel like that, but it can be still partly because of his previous relationship before me and partly that he just wants to be alone and that he loves me, but he is not able to act upon his feelings right now. he was trying, but he needs to clear his head from everything and he decided to let those feelings go for now, since he cant to differently. And that he is able to date girls without any serious commitments, but he knows I deserve more. He expressed his wish to be friends as before, because he doesnt want to loose me. You can imagine how is it for me to be in love already and that person wants to step back and be like before, lol. He keeps saying he trully loves me and he said hes not gonna take it back, because its true. How should I react?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Alica, sorry to hear about the breakup. At this point, it would be unrealistic to go back to being friends as this will spell nothing but torture for you. Give yourself time instead, okay? Being friends with an ex, especially right after a breakup, is a bad idea, and even more so if you want this ex back. Watch this video so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively (follow the principles), at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”). Take care!

      Reply
  30. Keely
    Keely says:

    Me and my boyfriend of almost a year broke up after my practice. A few nights ago he texted me about a batman quote I had said during our breakup. Apparenty he was on YouTube and it reminded him of it. So i asked why he had texted me and all of that and I I was acting pretty casual. Then i had asked why he left. He said that he still thinks about me and his reasons for breaking up were stupid and not worth hurting me. And must I say his reasons were extremely stupid. One was saying how things didnt move fast enough must I mention the fact that we are both very young still. But when sports seasons came around one of my other guy friends was mad because my EX had liked his girlfriend. So I think he still likes me but, I think thats just because im a plan B option. I dont really have anymore feelings and I sort of just want to go back to ignoring him .. What do I do?

    Reply
  31. Ramon Garcia
    Ramon Garcia says:

    Me and my ex girlfriend of 4 years decided to take a “break” from the relationship after lots of arguing. during the first month of the break up I followed what brad said. To have no contact and to start dating other people, exercise and try and move on. I ended up meeting and liking another girl and realized my dumb ass was going into a rebound relationship because it didn’t even last 2 weeks. During my stupid “rebound” relationship me and my ex girlfriend still talked. After that, I start to desperately want my ex back. One day we meet up after 3 months of the break up and she says she likes another guy, she said that they kissed. I assume she did more then just “kissing” because she was acting sketched out. Then I wait another month. And during the second no contact month she starts calling me saying that she misses me, and that she might want to try again with me. I agreed. Then After the month and 4 days was completed, We decide to meet up. I saw no emotion in her eyes. She didn’t seemed interested in me. She told me to move on and that she wants to stay single. I’m so confused right now because I thought she missed me. I need help because now I’m stuck. I don’t know if I should do another no contact month because one minute she misses me and then all of a sudden she lost that attraction. I need help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, sorry to hear. Looking at how your ex is behaving, I say yes, giving her more space can benefit you both. The space will help her clear her head while you use some time to really try to look at the situation from an objective perspective, okay? Look at the roles you BOTH played that led to the breakup and look at behind the reason she gave when she broke up with you. And then once and for all, see if the issue/issues in your relationship can be resolved or not, so take an honest look. This may take some time, so don’t rush it. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  32. arjun
    arjun says:

    hi brad!
    its me arjun from japan, came here for abroad study and and i was in relationship with a japanese girl from 6 months. but now turned in to break up 3weeks ago.we were in deep relationship not even a like boyfriend and girlfriend it was like husband and wife. i had never imagine that it could be turn in to breakup suddenly.
    when we be together both were so happy. during the relation 1/2 times was happen quarrel 1/2 months ago.
    but in 3 times about 2 june 9/10 we break up. acccording to her the break up reason was ” i dont belive her”,bt her!!! ……. and now she dont want to see me ,dont wanna talk to me. she blocked me in facebook twitter, LINE and installgram . but about 100 times i apologize her and now again join into facebook and line but not in twitter and installgram. some short conversation are running on LINE . but when i asked her what should i do to get you back? she says same thing you dont belive me thats why i am tired with this relation .she says dont want to met me and dont wanna she me???????

    what should i do to get back her in my life??? what is it good to use your idea no contact for few weeks???

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Arjun, sorry to hear about the breakup. First of all, you ought to STOP apologizing, okay? What are you even sorry for? Getting an ex back should be done naturally and organically, so there’s NO talking your way back into a relationship with her. So yes, cut off contact for at least a month instead and use this time to really figure out the real issues in your relationship. Have you checked out my guide yet?

      Reply
  33. Evana
    Evana says:

    Hi brad ,
    I have not contact her properly ,, srill wairing her to contact me
    I m following all your rules and steps
    Its been a month and few days longer

    Hoping your ex factpr guide bring my ex back ,, alo she is with someone so i assume she probsbly not missing or thnkng s bout me
    Ibwont give up.on her keep trtong and follpw yoir rules ,, spent money purchased yoir book so have faith in me

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      A lot of people have found success in the program, I don’t see why you should be an exemption, especially if your relationship with her was significant/long-term. Anyway yes, work on yourself. A month or so of “no contact” ought to put you in a position to start feeling better about yourself and regain your confidence, so when you’re ready, reach out to her using the steps on the guide, okay? Use this as reference, too: Signs Your Ex’s Rebound Relationship Will Fail. Good luck!

      Reply
  34. Nes
    Nes says:

    I was engaged to this man for more than a year. Before we got engaged, we were real good friends, we shared everything: the good and the bad. Until one day he confessed that he was in love with me, and that was one the happiest moments I’ll never forget. one month later, he proposed. And I was even happier. We were waiting for his financial situation to get better to actually get married. He was really working so hard for me. He loved me deeply, filled me with gifts, did everything I ever dreamt of, all in all, he was crazy about me and I was crazy about him. where we used to hang out, people and friends used to tell us that we were the nicest couple they’ve ever seen. Before this man, I had a relationship with a someone who betrayed me, so I told him the story when we were friends (which means before we became a couple, and I burst into tears when telling him cuz’ I suffered a lot before). At the beginning he was a little jealous, but then he understood, and wanted to be part of my life forever. Days went on, we never had a big problem with jealousy before, and he’s not the control freak type. Sometimes we fight, but we always end up getting back together the next morning. But I got this new facebook in which I have lots of friends. He said yes at the beginning, but then he said this is bothering him to see me have more than one facebook when he has only one. (this facebook is used for work). He asked me nicely to replace it with a page, I said yes, but didn’t go into action quickly cuz I got a little busy these days. everytime he logged in, and saw me with this Fb he got jealous, but I didn’t pay too much attention to this. I admit I was a little careless and sometimes trying to make him jealous especially when I missed him. Yesterday, and as crazy and ridicoulous as it may seem, he told me he saw a dream in which he saw some of the things he didn’t want to share with me and he grew strangely suspicious of me. I asked him in our fight about what he saw, he refused, then he told me that it was about my ex. That I maybe had an intimate relationship with my ex, and that I hid this from him. He asked for his name, and I refused to give it to him, simply because I thought it was crazy of him to be jealous of my ex. He thought I was hiding something from him, and he lost control of himself. he kept on saying that I betrayed him, and he said forget me… I swore to him many times that I was honest with him, but his jealousy made him completely blind. He never treated me this way, he never ever mistrusted me. I don’t know what got into his head this time. I’m sure he’s not dating anyone else. After this, I stopped explaining and just left, put my cell phone offline. once I switched it on, I found a lot of messages of him accusing me of infidelity, I answered him, and told him that I don’t care anymore of what he thinks of me as long as I know that I’m honest. I told him that I loved him but that I don’t value him like before. that I can’t talk to anybody, and that I was goind to switch my cellphone off. He quickly answered, saying that he was more hurt than I was, and that he’s done with it…. I refused to answer, and turned my phone off. now it’s on, and he didn’t call or send any message. we usually fight, but we never break up.. now I’m stuck in the middle, i don’t know if we’re together or not?? I love him but I’m hurt.. I can’t sleep cuz we used to hang out together all day long! I lost my second half. I’m thinking of giving him his ring and his gifts back… what do you think? I’m hopelesss. I’ve never lost such a precious person in my whole life… please answer me

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation, too. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  35. Marie
    Marie says:

    Hi Brad,
    I have a question for you. Me and my ex was in a long distance relationship. We started seeing eachother 10 months ago and had been an “official” couple for about half that time. Anyways, two weeks ago he told me that he wasn’t feeling as strongly as before. He said we have fun when we see eachother but he just doesn’t feel the same urge to call as before. Now, as this was unexpected for me, and over the phone, I was not surr how to handle it. I told him that his decision made me sad (hell I even cried) and told him that I care very much about him but respected his decision. I felt that I need to end the call to find my bearings but at the same time I was panicing by the thought of not talking to him again so I asked if he could call me the next day. He said he would do that and we hung up. Now the next day I felt that I wasnt ready to talk to him so I texted him saying that I care for him and want to talk to him but not today. Told him Id call in a few days instead and wished him a pleasant evening.
    Now to my question, have I messed up my no-contact because I told him I needed a few days? I’ve learned after that it is supposed to come unexpected. Btw I have not contacted him in any way since (two weeks now) and he has not contacted me either, not even a reply to the aforementioned text. Would love your take on this! Many thanks in advance!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Marie. You made the right decision to be sticking to the “no contact” rule since the conversation may not turn out well anyway. Asking him for closure about what happened, for example, will only push him away further. Assuming you’ve spent enough time together in person, then there ought to be some solid base to this long distance relationship. Wait two more weeks before attempting to contact him using the techniques in my Ex Factor Guide and/or use this as reference: How to Start Talking to Your Ex Again, all right? Take care!

      Reply
      • Marie
        Marie says:

        Hi again Brad. First of all I want to thank you for taking the time to answer my note, I know you must get a lot of them. My interpretation of your reply is that the no-contact-phase may still stand a chance of being successful, even though I basically told him that I needed some time?
        I will stick to the plan of no-contact for at least two more weeks (it is hard obviously not to talk to him but I realize that I really have no choice and I am very determined to succeed).
        Some additional background, during our relationship we saw each other in person every to every-other weekend (our cities are 3 hours apart). And I spent some time with his family, including the holidays.
        After my additional two weeks are up, do you think I should prolong no-contact and wait for him to be the first one to reach out or can I initiate (using your techniques)? Like I said, patience is not a problem for me, I just want the best possible result. My fear is of course that he is not thinking about me or missing me as I have not heard anything from him since the day of the breakup… Best regards!

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          I do try my best to get back to everyone without compromising anything, thanks! Anyway yes, your best bet is still to cut off contact and yes, it will work in a sense to where you get to clear your mind to be in a better position to deal with an ex when the time comes. But will no contact ALONE work to get your ex back? In some cases it may, but sometimes not, because the no contact phase is only part one of the three-step phase I teach in my Ex Factor Guide. Learn the basics here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup). Good luck!

          Reply
  36. Lewis Malcolm
    Lewis Malcolm says:

    My girlfriend of 3 years has recently broke up with me. She has left me absolutely devastated, this is the first serious relationship I’ve had and I’m not sure what to do from here. She told me that she wasn’t feeling herself and was unhappy in any part of her life and she needed to figure out what is going on in her head. Although she broke it off, she said she just wanted a “break” in order to save us and wanted to come back to the relationship in a few months (or more) when she starts to feel herself again. She told me she still loves me very much and one day wants to marry me but her unhappiness within herself is causing me to hurt as well as her. I feel this is a unique situation and I have no idea how to handle this or how to get her back.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Lewis, sorry to hear about the breakup. Unless you have reason to think otherwise, I think this is an excuse she’s making to break up, man, sorry. She’s technically taking the blame for the end of the relationship by saying she has issues with herself — which may or may not be true. Watch this first: What Your Ex Meant By It’s Me, Not You. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  37. Aakansha
    Aakansha says:

    We were together for 4 months approximately. It all started online, I initiated it although we have mutual knows. It was extremely happy and perfect for two months. We both were very much in love our first 3 dates went off extremely well. Then he asked me to visit his place for few days, we stayed for 13 days there. I was quite grumpy. Fighting over the most stupid and senseless things. Still when I came back we both were sad. I kept on fighting after that too, for no real reason. I started saying that we should breakup, he always said no. I wanted commitment but he’s just 20. He said he loved me but it’s too soon for committing. I kept on fighting, he always said a no for breakup. But I kept on complaining and he wanted to call it over. I realised that I had spoiled everything but then it was too late. I love him too too much to let it all go. He says he doesn’t feel for me anymore. I think he doesn’t find me attractive much as well because I am fat. I have joined gym recently. He says he doesn’t feel the love anymore. I know things would be completely fine when we meet. We both can’t meet for two months though. Help me please. I want him back but he’s very adamant about the breakup. I strongly think my weight loss would help too.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there, Aakansha. Sorry to hear about the breakup. He may not be ready for a long term relationship yet, especially since he’s still quite young.Try not to take it personally since there’s likely to be other factors at play here, all right? Cut off contact use this time and space apart to determine what roles you BOTH played that led to all this, especially the fighting all the time. Take care!

      Reply
  38. Kath Powell
    Kath Powell says:

    After 18 years with my partner he called it quits and already been seeing someone else that works with him …. I am devastated and overcome with anxiety and feeling very overwhelmed
    We just bought our first house 11 months ago
    He doesn’t come home much and I can’t help but feel so hurt and saddened that he is with her
    It kills me inside
    We still have to live together in the house as we have a son
    So being friends it has to be for his sake
    I just want to get to the angry part as I know he is playing us both
    What do I do ??
    I hope she is a rebound girl !!

    Reply
  39. Taya Marie
    Taya Marie says:

    Hi! I have a question among many, I’m sure. I was “talking” to a guy for about a month and ended up cutting ties. I believe it was because he was younger than I was, and the situation was new to me and I kind of chickened out. We didn’t leave things on really bad terms(no fighting or hate texting). BUT I also might of cut things off because I had recently gotten out of a relationship before meeting him, and ended up giving the ex another chance. I doubt that was the case, but it is however a possibility. Either way, I would really like to rekindle things with this guy! Does it sound like he would give me a fighting chance?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Taya, I could be totally off but I’m under the impression that you had initiated the breakup with him or left the relationship first? I think you need to take some time to process things first, all right? Things seem to be all over the place here. If you have given the ex another chance, then when do you plan breaking things off again before giving this new guy a chance? Feelings of confusion can be overwhelming at this time, this is why it’s important that you take all the time you need to clear your mind first and not rush into making any major decisions…so cut off contact with both of them and give yourself space. Take care!

      Reply
  40. lost guy
    lost guy says:

    good day brad. my girlfriend broke up with me 5 days ago because i cheated on her. we have been together for 5 years without any incident and very happy together. it was my own insecurities that led me to do what i did and for that i totaly own up. but now she is angry and even unfriended me on facebook, i tried explaining and begging the first two days after our break up but then i stopped and just saw you programe. i need help here brad, she is so dear to me and i honestly don’t want to lose her for good. what can i do

    Reply
  41. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    Brad I have a doubt regarding role reversal video ! My ex spoke with me after two months of no contact period . He asked me whether I am getting married and have I blocked him everywhere . I too started the conversation normal . I just replied him after 6 hours ( he is in another time zone) . Then started our watsapp conversation . I lost my control and my love feel began to grow and spoke about breakup he too answered it . He will ask me sorry and will point out the mistakes of mine . I do accept that . It’s all because of misunderstanding as we r in long distance . After that I felt I need a safety net . So asked him to talk about marriage he said no . I also stopped contacting him . After 15days I watsapp him . He called me back and talked normal as if nothing happened . Now v r speaking normal . He speaks as if v r in relationship. Eventhough he is busy he will msg me . But I’m the one who msg him first (sometimes he wil) . Now in this situation how to play the role reversal ? What should I do ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! Sorry to hear about the breakup. Bringing up the possibility of marriage (which is an awfully huge commitment) after he has just dumped you was a downright bad idea. It has done nothing but made him feel pressured. Anyway has this been a predominantly long distance relationship? If so then how long did you get to spend time together in person while still in a relationship with him? Let him miss you and initiate most of the contact. Okay? Use this as your guideline: How to Get Your Ex Back in a Long Distance Relationship. Good luck!

      Reply
  42. Lonely girl
    Lonely girl says:

    Hi brad thank u for ur ex factor guide . Now I have a unique situation . Me and my boy friend had break up 5months ago . I maintained no contact period he came back and it was on and off relationship. Breakup was too bad as my anger made him to do so . I told his mom we are in love ( this is d reason for breakup) . Now he is saying I love u . U r my true love . But I don’t wanna to get u back . Now I’m having anger on his mom (bcoz she spoke too bad of me) . Everyone is happy except me . This pain is piercing into my heart . He says I bought car , I will hang out with my friends anytime, I have also ps4 so there is no need of thinking about u . I love to be like this . I asked him to block me . He says I won’t .atlast he agreed . What should I do ? I can’t join in coaching program bcoz it’s too much in my money (already I bought exfactor guide) . Now what should I do . Should I wait for him to come back ? Or forget him ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You’re welcome! Anyway sorry to hear about the breakup. I know it can be really challenging, but try to follow the guide down to a tee, all right? Be patient and try to let him chase you instead of you chasing him…my guide can help you with that. Have you been initiating contact all the time? Back off and give him a chance to miss you first, all right? Focus on developing the attractive qualities for yourself and improve your mood and overall being. Take care and stay strong!

      Reply
  43. ROISIN
    ROISIN says:

    Hi I was on and off with my ex for years I got so well with his family and we did have good times but he just loves his single life now and has a lot of single friends so they love their holidays and all that so he doesn’t talk to me anymore however if we see eachother out or anywhere it is always fine. I don’t think he ever wants to go back because he isn’t ready for relationship plus thinks there is better out there am not sure just hate the way he wont give it a proper chance as we had something good. Do you think hel ever regret it or want anything again or am I best to just leave it and let him at his single life.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey there! Sorry to hear that. For starters, an on-again, off-again relationship is already a challenge in and of itself. Read this: Things You Must Learn If You’re In an On & Off Relationship. Try to see the root cause of your problems first, all right? What were the past reasons for breaking up an x number of times in the past? Who initiates the breakup and lastly, what were the dumpers intention of getting back together? There are a lot of elements at play here, I supposed you already know the answer but just need someone to help guide you and see things and address issues you BOTH may be too close to see, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help you figure out what’s really going on and how to best move forward and make progress — with or without your ex. Take care!

      Reply
  44. sneha
    sneha says:

    hey Brad..seriously your videos helped me a lot to recover from my heart brakes. I didn’t have feelings for any guys till i’m 21,because i was happy with my life and i had this goal in my life..i didn’t regret saying no to guys who asked me out..but recently i met this guy whom i was unable say to no..so i said yes to him..i met him like 4 days but even the seconds that i spent felt the world to me.But later on he didn’t come to see me..i send him text messages…but he never replied..later on i found that he was with his ex girlfriend..even after getting along with his ex he came to speak with me…but i ignored(i don’t know weather it is wrong….but i felt that it was the best thing to do)later on i came home and cried,,cried,,,cried,,,i suffered for months becoz of that 4 day relationship…anyways i made up my mind by watching your videos…but today again i saw him in the hallway after months…as usual i ignored..but he came and spoke with me…it was a casual talk..like about my exams…i’m soo sacred…i still love him..love him alot…but i’m not sure weather he is having feelings,,,i guess he isn’t having…i’m soo confused..i cried a lot today as well…i feeling very weak..i feel like unluckiest girl in the world..pleaseeeeeeeeeeee help me…i know this very simple compared to others..but for me it is killing inside me…because after him nobody asked me out…please help me…i feel i want to die….i am very weak at the moment

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Sneha, sorry to hear about the breakup, but I’m glad I’ve helped out somehow. Try not to gauge your sense of self worth based on how the relationship went, okay? Point being, it shouldn’t matter if nobody’s asking you out after the breakup because for starters, you ought to be using this time to focus on your own life and your own actions, all right? I’m not sure why you mentioned seeing him in the hallway. Do you work/study together? If so, then watch this: How to Act Around Your Ex. Good luck!

      Reply
  45. scoty
    scoty says:

    Me an my ex split up after bad arguiment 3an half months ago we was together for 8yrs an hav 2kids she started sein sum1 else after 5wks she wudnt talk to me without getting angry but last week we spoke no shouting an she opened up to me an told me she gta go for check up an if they can fit her in they wil do the operation there an then she never told any1 else b4 telling me i love her to bits an my heart dropped does this mean anythink at al cus for her to even talk to me was abig step let alone open up to me please help thank u

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, sorry to hear about the breakup. I think the argument was the last straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak… Relationships just don’t end because of an argument, not matter how big it is. So what were the real issues in your 8-year relationship together? Use the time and space apart to think clearly about what was really going on. Okay? It’s important that you do this from an objective perspective, so hopefully you’ve left her alone for some time and not have unnecessary chitchat (unless of course, if it’s about the kids). Your case if one of the exceptions to the rule, in fact, sign up for my coaching program if you want to discuss the specifics of your situation, but this should help you out as well: How to Act Around Your Ex. Good luck!

      Reply
  46. Conrad
    Conrad says:

    Hey Brad, I really need some advice for my current situation. My girlfriend and I just broke up last Friday. We were together for almost 2 months before we ended up breaking up. The first month and 3/4 went really well, as in we hadn’t had any big arguments or fights, and the ones that we did have, it was resolved before the day ended. Just two weeks before the breakup, she sends me a text saying that she needed space cause of a very ill family member. I respected her choice and texted her less often than usual, only sending updates of my day or good morning/night texts to hopefully lessen the stress she’s going through with college midterms and her family situation. It wasnt until a week later when she texted back and I took her out on a short date. She seemed really sad and quiet, which I thought was normal given her situation. She slowly begins to text me more and more, often mentioning how she was going out with her friends (which are all guys btw) to their houses, to eat, or just to hang out. At the end of the week, she texts me asking if I want to hang out with her the next day, and of course, I said yes. I visit her college early the next morning ( she said she was planning on going there early) and texted her that I was at her school. Hours later she texts back mentioning how she woke up late. Another hour later around 11, the time her last class ends, she texts me that we cant hang out that day cause she had to visit her grandma. I was more than fine with this and stayed at the school for 5 more hours to finish my work. When I finished I walked over to the restroom and saw her inside the game room sitting on another guy’s lap with his arms held firmly around her. She seemed to busy to notice me staring in disbelief through the glass wall since she was smiling largely and constantly looking at the other guy’s eyes the same way she used to look at mine. I confront her an hour later when it was just her and the guy, asking what she did today and that I thought she was too busy visiting her grandma, but she nonchalantly mumbled some words while playing her game, only to yell “what do you know bro” before going back to playing her game. I simply left at that moment because I didn’t want to yell at her or cause a scene. She texted me later that night saying how she messed up again. I told her what I saw and asked if you could at least give me an explanation, which she never did. After about a dozen calls, she finally answers her phone and I spoke to her in a calm voice saying that we could rebuild our relationship and make it stronger. I again asked her if there was anything happening between her and the other guy, only to get a response that they were just friends. All in all, I really tried to mend together our relationship but she just kept saying how she always messes up, how her “heart is hardened. [She] can’t really get sad anymore.”, how she hasn’t learned how to keep a relationship, and how she keeps making the same mistakes and how it doesn’t “hit [her] until [she] gets permanently hurt in a way.” At the end of the night I tell her how we can fix things and power through this together if she were to commit to it with me. Needless to say, we ended it there. My question is, is there hope to get back together? I never wanted to break up with her, but there’s no point in having a one sided relationship. From these signs, was the breakup all planned out?( In the phone call, she pointed out how she told me before we dated that she keeps making the same mistakes, hasn’t learned etc.) Do you think I should try and win her back? What steps should I take to do so?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Conrad, I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation at http://www.breakupbrad.com/coaching Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  47. Cheryl
    Cheryl says:

    Brad,
    I need your help. My boyfriend thinks I am idiot. Here is the situation. He has a ex that he has been broken up with for 2 years that he was with 16 years. They insist on remaining friends and having this relationship I the shadows so that I am no to how often they communicate which I am guess about every 3 weeks. When the holidays arrive the ex is invited to the family gathering and they are their together while I the current girlfriend is not invited and I sit home alone. I finally had had enough and here comes the question. It’s her or me. And he said her and expects me to be ok with that. I can barely look at him and I know I have to leave for my own self respect but gzzzz. That is a hard hit. We have been dating or a year and a half. H
    She is more important to have as a friend than I am who spends everyday with in which we where building a future. But when it comes down to it. I am the one to go.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Cheryl, sorry to hear you’re going through this. How long have you been dating this guy, though? At which point has he brought his ex instead of you? Was it further into the relationship or earlier on? Looking things from a wider perspective, it could be that he may not be ready to take you there because it’s too soon. I can see how you’re upset with bringing an ex along instead of doing without her though. This brings me to my next point: Do they have a legit reason to still be in contact? Like a kid together, joint finances, etc.? Expecting you to be okay with this arrangement is selfish of him, especially if you’ve already brought up how you feel about his ex still in the picture. Cut off contact for at least a month so you can gain better perspective and re-evaluate this relationship clearly, all right? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  48. Miguel
    Miguel says:

    Hey Brad, I have a unique situation that I need help on. My ex broke up with me 5 days ago. We have been together for 10 supposed to be 11 months today. We have been physically together for the 6 months nearly everyday. Our relationship was a very intimate one and I was really close with her family on her dads side where she currently lives now. For the remaining 4 months I have been away in the military. We always talk on the phone and everything seemed okay. Till we started fighting on & off for weeks straight due to decisions she wanted to make that I didn’t agree on. She said that she wanted to just do her and hang with her friends more and that she didn’t like how I talk to her when I curse and that I was controlling etc etc. This all came out of nowhere when she started hanging around a new group of friends that she hasn’t seen in years but prior to that her same reasons were never a problem. Her last text said ” I love you (my name) always and forever will. There is no one out there for me. And we both know that.” Then she sends me a song with lyrics that say we are meant to be no matter what. She hasn’t contacted me since. I spoke to some of her family members and they said she has been acting weird towards them and she was sad and listening to love songs . They told me she said she misses me and they told her “well you choose to break up with him” and she just stayed quit and hasn’t made any effort to reach out to me yet. I know what I need to work on but don’t know what to do as of this moment. We are in a long distance relationship. I am in Alabama currently and she is in California.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Miguel, keep up the good work in serving the military, man! I know this can be a really challenging situation you’re in — the distance does tend to take its toll on you both eventually. What were the fights about? Don’t bother her for a while and let her really miss you and in the mean time, give her time to miss you Use this time and space to try and see what you two have been fighting about. Was it about a recurring issue or just random stuff? Watch this, too: How to Make Your Ex Mis You and read my Ex Factor Guide to know what to do next and the subsequent stages after. Good luck! Take care!

      Reply
  49. Eddie
    Eddie says:

    Hey first I just want to say I appreciate you for helping individuals out with relationships its truly wonderful!
    Well i was in Relationship for 2 years and 9 months and well just broke up. im 26 in college and she is 22 in college. We met in college as well and ended up living together for two years in school and to be honest we have had our ups and downs But recently my ex wants to give her life completely to Christ; god and she says she needs to break up with me like let me go to do so but its not in that sense persay. More so she still loves me, cant see herself being with or marrying anyone else for we have always aimed for that and that she will pray that when she is ready and gets herself together she will come back to me. I’ll admit I made some mistakes like trying to ask to stay together and she getting frustrated but i finally stopped but I guess my question is more so what should I do?

    For I never thought she would break up with me and to know that how would i know if she would really want me back. i sent recently a message about how i understand and accept this and she responded very well with what was previously said about her still loving me deeply…like sometimes im not sure if this is even a complete break up because its not plan A or B but more like there is no letter for me. more so unconditional. I even feel as though she will end up realizing she did not have to do this. So i wonder at this point what should do? i mean heck the same day we broke up this girl gave me her number that i didnt even attempt to ask for and females were never a problem as i got older but of course that’s not what i want. I want her. What do you suggest? and should i reply to that last text when she says she still loves me and shes praying when she is ready cause she cant see herself married or loving anyone else. I definitely am gonna use this time to work on myself just not sure how,
    And pleaasseee never stop spreading this information

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You’re welcome, man! Sorry to hear about the breakup, though. For now, it’s really too soon to tell, so try to give each other space first, okay? Don’t rush this process. What else can you do? Shift your focus away from the relationship and put it back to you fully, 100% all right? So work on your own life and your won actions during this waiting period. Have you checked out my guide yet? That can certainly help. I can’t elaborate all of them on here, that’s all 130+ pages, but that’s much more detailed. For now, beware of the mistakes here and try not to make the situation worse. Watch this: 5 Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back. Good luck!

      Reply
  50. Frusterated
    Frusterated says:

    Married for 16yrs, four kids together. We have always had a good time together, our sex life was great and we didn’t fight very much. She did have a couple of affairs during our marriage but we worked through them, mostly me I feel. She was a stay home mom throughout our marriage until the kids were older. She started working at our kids school and from there it went downhill again. She started to have an affair with the younger custodian at the school, he was married but going through a divorce. I started to see signs of lies, hiding, work schedule change and the worst, my kids witnessing it all happen at school. She left on Christmas to be with the guy and this is what she said why, she thought she wanted this but not anymore (marriage, mother), what if I need other men to make me happy. This was out of the blue and had no idea what happened, I was in shock as we just had a wonderful anniversary! I was that guy who begged, pleaded, cried, I was being a wuss. It has been two yrs, they are still seeing each other but they have not moved in together. She has tried to portray she is the victim to everyone and is very cold at times. The weird thing is, when we see each other, if I want to, she allows me to hug, touch and kiss on her, so i feel like I get my hopes up and there is still a chance. I’ve tried some of your strategies about 8 months after she left and with not much success, I’m not sure if there is anything I can still do after 2 + years of being apart, she still sees the guy, but doesn’t seem to serious. I told her in a letter the other day, basically saying. The last thing I ever wanted to do is hurt you and feel what we have is valuable and worth investing in. If you ever change your mind contact me. Then my plan is no contact again and not sure what to do from there, any help would be great. Thanks!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, what steps have you taken during these two years apart? There may still be some sexual/physical attraction between you two, but that’s not really the glue to hold you two together, if you reconcile. What needs to happen is to view the situation from an objective perspective first and see what your issue/s had been. What had caused the breakup? Understanding each role that you played in the breakup can help and is a good place to start. Sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  51. shady shades
    shady shades says:

    Hey that’s shady . ! My girlfriend broke up with me 2years ago .. ! I loved her truly she did it too ,But somehow we ended up our relationship ! On his 18th birthday this year I ve texted her.. Said happy birthday and some quotes ..,, Without even knowing my number ,, she Said my name .. ,, That’s it and I m just totally surprised.,, (on WhatsApp) . Later she said “Sorry for whatever ve done” I love her so much can’t imagine my life without her ! She wants me to be her friend ! We talks to each other daily .. ,, ,,what should I do from now. . Please reply me fast I m waiting bro

    Reply
  52. Jane
    Jane says:

    Hi Bred, I have read through many comment and your video. I think my situation is unique and conplicated and need your advice! I will try to make it short. My ex and I was frd abt 6 yr and then we decided to be couple for other 3yr. Now, we broke up for 3mths already as he move to new work place and fell in love with his colleague while I went aboard for 2mth. Right after I came back he told me tht he has the feeling with her and slept with her already. So, I asked him to breake up not because I hate him but I want him to choose one he love and he wasn’t choose me. It was so painful! After break up we still taxting each other, like “miss you”, he bought a new motoebike and send me the picture too. He called me once and crying and I once did the same too. Lastly, I saw his picture with new girlfriend, I was so sad and uncontrol…i called him and cry. I ask him to block my fb because I don’t want to block him, but he din’t. I think I did a big mistake showing him my weakness. His friend told me that he still love me but not happy to stay with (for some reason tht we both never discuss about it), moreover he is so embarrass to continue our relationship as he the one who betrayed. What should I do I still love him so bad?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup and I understand where you’re coming from, Jane. At this point, I think it’s important that you remove yourself from this situation, which has now become really unhealthy. It isn’t fair for him to be keeping in touch with you while he’s in a relationship with someone else, especially the one he left you for. I want you to realise that he has a simple choice of choosing you instead of choosing to drag you along for the ride and getting the best of both worlds, which is selfish. Your friendship cannot be salvaged right now since you’ve crossed the line of becoming more than friends, so cut off contact from this so you at least get to think clearly and have a fair chance of really deciding what to do next for yourself, all right? But not while you’re emotional, so give each other space first. Sign up for my coaching program so I’d know more about your situation and consider all factors at play, as I could be missing something, all right? Talk soon!

      Reply
  53. Kydia
    Kydia says:

    Hi Brad, could you help me what should I do in my situation please? Does this article apply to short-term relationship?
    I was dating my ex for 5 months. I first knew him from my classmate’s boyfriend. I’m 23 was recently graduated, and he’s 29 has a full time job working for a tax company. We spent a little less than one month to get to know each other. We had very few things in common, so he was concerned if a relationship would work out for us in the beginning. But then we finally decided to be together. He told me he hasn’t had a gf for more than 10 years, he told me about how his last relationship in high school was horrible because he got cheated. Things went great in the beginning. He even invited me to have lunch with his parents for few times, then to his friend’s party. We found out we live so close to each other, and he always made plans to see me every weekend. Then I started getting mad at him for little things (I know how immature I was) but mainly because he hasn’t paid enough attention when we were together. We had many disagreements and constant fighting, and I even broke the rule for not respecting his privacy when I looked through his phone without permission. I knew I was the one who damaged this relationship. And eventually I lost his trust one me. Last time he got mad at me and told me he needed time to think whether or not he still wanted this relationship. I apologized to him over the phone many times but that didn’t change his mind. He decided to break up w me 2 weeks ago since our last fight and wanted me to remain as a good friend because he didn’t me to be out of his life. We only texted each other once a week from now. There was no call, no begging. I asked if we could have our last date on the 3rd week and he agreed. I’m not sure if I had a chance to meet him again, should I give him an apology in person and admit my mistakes? Will asking him for a 2nd chance work for this short-term relationship? I knew he may not want to commit a long-term relationship because of what I did to him. I felt horrible and wanted to ask him for forgiveness if we met. I still feelings about him and do care for him. I really want to make this into my first serious relationship.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      It’s for serious/committed relationships, as long as it’s not a fling or a one-night stand affair or something superficial or the like. Going by what you’re telling me here, this seems to be a long distance relationship, am I correct? It seems like you have a lot of adjusting to do and get to know each other better, I really suggest to take your time since you may be both rushing too fast into this. Anyway considering how things have been, asking to see him would seem needy, so I highly advise against that. Being a friend is bad as well. Attempting to talk your way back into a relationship with him is downright desperate and counterproductive. I suggest to cut off contact first for at least a month so you won’t end up making any more mistakes,all right? This helps you regain your composure and will let him miss you as well. This video can really help, so watch this: 5 Mistakes that Could Ruin… or better yet, read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about this, what to say or do, etc. Take care!

      Reply
  54. Chaz
    Chaz says:

    I have a question my situation is more complicated I have kids with this woman been with here since 2007 she left me left me with the house and i have to talk to her about the kids what do i do. I’m heartbroken I’ve basically begged her to try again but she not having it and now I’m just lost need advice

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. Begging/pleading never works though. If anything, it does more harm than good. I’ve discussed it here, watch it: Begged & Pleaded With Your Ex? (How to Salvage the Situation) I suggest to let her be and not bother her too much, man. You ought to give her time to miss you. Whatever you do, try not to aggravate the situation more. Did you fight before the breakup? I doubt she just up and left like that. There has to be more to it. You have the right to contact her about the kids, but probably not when you’re too emotional, so focus on yourself first and your own actions, okay? Be sure it’s productive and not desperate. My Ex Factor Guide can help you out on that. If you think your situation is too unique, though, feel free to talk to me in-depth about your situation through my coaching program. All right? Talk soon!

      Reply
  55. stardust
    stardust says:

    Hey brad,
    The story between me and my boyfriend it’s been complicated lately he broke up with me, after one year of really strong love and romance,
    he blocked me on fb, i think most of all for jalousy, but now after 15 days of no contact he begged me to respond to his text, the excuse he used to come and see me was to pick up a usb key he left here, he came we had sex and he left we arranged to sleep together the same night after me seeing my friends, so we spent the all night and day after together, but i din’t called him after, so 1 day after he wrote me if i could crush at my house, i tought he had some problems so i’ve agreed, we slept together again, now he is being asking me a lot of question on how we have to deal with it, or if i want to be back together with him and trying to have some proof of my love for me.
    At this point i don’t know how to act, in the same message he say he doesn’t want to come back with me and asking me to ask him to come back together, i really love him and i know that he is my other half, but i’m a little bit lost with his behavior, do you have some advice?
    Thank you a lot in advance

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! Sorry to hear about the breakup. The situation you’ve described to me doesn’t come as a surprise, though…it’s more common than you think, trust me. The problem here seems to be the fact that there hadn’t been enough space given. This is why in my Ex Factor Guide and even in many of my videos, to give each other space for at least 30 days as it lets you become more emotionally stable wth less confusion. He’s giving you mixed signals by asking you to get back together and saying he doesn’t wanna come back and it would have been to your best interest to steer clear from this behaviour of his. Watch this: Why Your Ex Gives You the Hot & Cold Treatment (Mixed Messages Explained) Take care!

      Reply
  56. ersh
    ersh says:

    hey brad, i was in a relationship with a guy for 4 years and we broke up 6 weeks ago he says he is bored with me and don’t wanna be in a relationship any more. i called him after 2 weeks we broke up and he was like i don’t want to talk to you anymore please get out of my life as it was my idea to break up at first place because he was not giving me time and not showing any interest. he broke up with me 2 years ago because of some stupid reason but he was back as he could not stay apart from me and he says it was a mistake to come back 2 years ago so he has blocked my number and deleted me from facebook it’s been 4 weeks of no contact rule and i am really scared to go on next step as it was text him so can you tell me is there any chance that he will come back?? please help me out brad. thanks

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey there! Sorry to hear about the breakup. Actions can tell you a lot about his true feelings, so never disregard those, okay? I suggest to try to examine the reasons for your breaking up with him as this may tell you a lot about your relationship. Try to view the situation from an objective standpoint and see if the issues in your relationship can be resolved or not, okay? How was the communication in your relationship? Did you really feel neglected in the relationship or were you just overreacting? Don’t discount your feelings, but like I said, have an objective point of view and don’t let feelings get in the way, okay? This may help you decide: Is Your Ex the Right Person for You? If you decide he’s worth it, and he’s still single, reach out to him, and test the waters. The details are in my Ex Factor Guide, so check that out, but you may also get a few tips in my videos. Good luck!

      Reply
  57. Justin
    Justin says:

    Hey Brad, my and my gf just broke up a few days ago and just wanted to know how should I deal with her because we have been together for a year and a half but she just recently moved off for college. I know things were going to change but I did not prepare myself they way I should have. Things between us we good when she moved but things started to change once I felt like she was not making time for me. Our convos got shorter and then she was always busy with something when I called her and it made me do some immature things that caused her to break up with me. What do you suggest I do bc I never really acted that way before she left I just feel like her being away from me and not being able to spend time together bc of the distance. I feel like sometimes love make you do crazy things and act out in a way you know is not in you character and it has caused our relationship to suffer and to the point where we have broken up. What are some things I could do to get her back?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Justin, it seems like there’s been too much negativity lately which caused you to act out in less than desirable ways? Give each other time and space first. Moreover, be sure to identify the cause for your behaviour and try not to do it again. Otherwise, it’ll just be a downward spiral. If the problem is really due to distance, then try to see if you really want her back, man, since the situation isn’t likely gonna change anytime soon — just giving you a heavy dose of reality check here. Whatever the case, be sure to give enough time and let her miss you first before reaching out, around a month is best. Watch this: How to Get Your Ex Back in a Long Distance Relationship. Good luck!

      Reply
  58. Melanie
    Melanie says:

    My ex fiance and i were friends long before we ever got tpgether. I broke up with him snd ive made all the mistakes of trying to win him back. I still am very much in love with him but he says never again. We didnt havuse serious issues mostly communication and pushing bittons ehen ee were angry. We broke ip less thsn four months ago and hes had a gf and now likes someone else. Should i use the nc rule? Is there still hope for us

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that, Melanie. Since you asked if you should use the “No Contact” rule, I assume you’re still keeping in touch? The answer is yes, you ought to cut off contact right away or even consider moving on from this, sorry. You may have unknowingly pushed him into the arms of someone else by doing those mistakes. Don’t be so hard on yourself though, we’ve all been there at one point. Just make sure that you learn from these mistakes so it won’t happen again, all right…whether with an ex or someone new. Take care!

      Reply
  59. Cam
    Cam says:

    So my boyfriend and I split up because he was tired of me getting upset with him about little things. I have a very stressful load at school and work. I am 24 and he is 41 and it worked till we had to move in with my parents 7 months ago. He is the first person I have truly loved and he has to come back because he has no where else to go but he wants to be friends until we are sure of eachother again. I don’t think he’s happy about it so how do I get him to chase me. He does have a friend on the sidelines.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Constant bickering, especially over small things, do tend to take its toll sooner or later. Try to re-evaluate stuff in your life and see if a relationship can help or hinder your progress. I don’t know your entire situation and I’m not saying this is the case for sure, but there’s possibility that if you’ve taken out stuff on him, then this tells me that there may not be enough room in your life right now for a relationship, so give each other space and try to see how you can best move forward, all right? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help you figure stuff out and see what’s really going on. Take care!

      Reply
  60. Tracie
    Tracie says:

    My ex and I dated for 3 months. We broke up 2.5 weeks ago and have had no contact since. We had a deep connection and got close really quickly. His divorce was finalized a few weeks after we started dating, though they had been separated for 2 years. He has a 5 year old daughter. I never met his daughter, which I was ok with since I know these situations can get complicated. However, he also refused to let me mee this friends. He told me his friends all knew about me, and I did hear him on the phone mention me, so I have no reason to doubt that. I later found out it was because he felt that his friends’ lives were too intertwined with his daugjter’s and he was worried bith worlds would collide before he was ready. We broke up because he said I deserved better. He went on to tell me how amazing I am and how much he loves me as a person and how much he enjoys spending time with me. He then said something was missing but didn’t know what. He wanted to be friends and very much wanted to keep me in his life, but I said no. He seemed very upset by my response. This is someone who went out of his way to make time to see me. I still don’t understand what happened. The only contact we’ve had since was the next when I emailed him to ask if he could get a refund for a plane ticket he had purchased for me. We haven’t spoken in 2.5 weeks and I know he will not contact me if he believes I do not want to speak to him (out of respect). Should I contact him? If so, how much longer should I wait? I still do not feel that friendship is an option for me.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Tracie, sorry to hear that. You’re right not to stay friends with him though. I think he may still be going through a lot, so cut off contact and work on yourself and don’t get mixed in with his confusion, all right? There’s a possibility that you could have been the rebound. I’m not saying that this is the case, just a possibility, yet I wouldn’t really know for sure unless I know more about your situation. Consider signing up for my coaching program so I can help you figure out what’s really going on. For now, definitely continue to stay strong and not get dragged by his baggage, okay? It’s his to resolve alone. Take care!

      Reply
  61. Anthony
    Anthony says:

    Hi there

    I’m anthony , and I have been sitting with a horrible heartbreak for a few days now , i’m gay and a very happy outgoing man , I dated a man in the closet for almost 3 years to date , we have been through a tremendous bumpy relationship from day one as he is scared to be who he truly is , throughout the 3 years I havnt been perfect , I was insecure and always complained about losing him till I actually did a week ago , I have been trying to let go but can’t seem to even tho we have been together and broken up over like 15 times in these 3 years , he says he can’t be with me as I havnt changed yet he hasn’t stood by my side to assist me , he has just left me every time iv felt insecure or said things that are from being insecure ,,,, he has even driven into my car out of anger and here I find myself forgiving him but when I’m insecure and that , he leaves me which causes the insecurity to remain , tomorrow is his birthday so on Friday I went and bought him a beautiful canvas painting of Buddha as I know he likes it and gave it to him already ,,,, he loved it but still didn’t really love that I am still trying to fight to keep him , I know i havnt been perfect but surely in love , you fight to be with whom you love …. We had broken up for 8 months and I had got over it until he met someone and the next day after meeting him , the guy turned around and said that he can’t see my ex again as he is too fat for him , first thing my ex did was call me crying as he knew that it damaged him …. I took him back becos I knew that I loved him regardless , and here I sit again going thru hell ,,,,, how do o progress with this horrible feeling ? What do I do

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Anthony, I think it’s about time to put yourself first and consider your own feelings first. You’ve done too much and received too little, hence, the resentment, so be sure to take care of yourself first — which you haven’t done yet. It’s time to consider moving on from him or at the very least, cut off contact and give it time, okay? You do not want to be treated as a priority, so stop enabling him by letting him come back whenever. If you become too available, then chances are he won’t get to see your true value. Make sense? Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play, then guide you accordingly on a regular basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  62. Ann
    Ann says:

    Hi Brad. I was together with my ex for 9 months but at the 7 month mark we broke up for the first time because he found out I had lied about cheating on him in the beginning of the relationship. We were broken up for a month and I begged him every week to take me back. It worked in the end and we got back for 2 more months. However, I started becoming insecure about being strung along/broken up with again and about him not putting in any effort. He said he didn’t know if he loved me and that he didn’t trust me. He said he loved me before but after I had lied, he wasn’t sure anymore and he said he really wanted this second time to work out and have a healthy relationship. But for the last couple of weeks we argued a lot and I broke it off because I wanted to protect myself from being broken up with again. He said that he was thinking of the same thing, so the break up was mutual. I miss him so much and it’s taking a lot for me not to contact him. It’s been a month since we broke up and truthfully I thought he would’ve called me but I haven’t heard from him since the breakup. What are the chances of us getting back together? And what should I do now since it’s already been a month of no contact?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Ann, sorry to hear about he breakup. Since things are still too fresh though, I suggest to give it enough time and space to let things simmer down first and for you both to think clearly. I think one of the main issues here is the fact that you both may not have taken active steps to trust each other again. Not to sound biased but since there has been cheating involved, it’s more to do with your part of how you earn and keep the trust he has for you. Make sense? What steps have you taken to do that? Begging also never does anything good in the long run/long term benefit. I suggest to give it time instead, okay? Cut off contact first for at least a month. I also suggest that you sign up for my coaching program so I can take a look at all the other factors at play, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular basis. Take care!

      Reply
  63. Lily
    Lily says:

    hey Brad, i need your advise

    My whole situation is very complicated. I broke up with my ex last year October, i left him for someone else. Our problem grew due to trust issues and long distance. He was very devastated and he lost few pounds. I know i was a total b*tch. But i do still keep him in contacting each other, and i know he was still waiting. And maybe that is why i’ve take him for granted. I do still love him i admit during my relationship with the other guy. But i was too scared to break up. I dont know why was i even thinking. After 10 months of him waiting for me, he finally moved on to somebody else and NOW that i feel so heartbroken. At first he would still me that he will meet regardless his gf’a concern or not, but i’ve been acting crazy and mad to him. And ofcause, i begged and pleaded him to come back. Now he’s bee acting hot and cold towards me. But when i told him o was about to cut him off from my life, he din’t agree with it, but he said if that’s my decision it is up to me. And he would still tell me things like he will think of me despite he’s with his new gf. Or how he will never be happy again like before because he lost the biggest piece of himself. He never initiate any moves to text me, and i was the one that texted him all the time. What should i do? 🙁

    Reply
  64. xandra
    xandra says:

    hey brad me and my ex have been together 3 years, we also talk and planning about marriage and future and our dream together i am close to his family and and he also close to my family.. we had sex ,, we also talk about having a babies.. last year he said that he want to settle his life with me in 2017 and talk again about his plan and my plan etc. and he become busy and he always focus on his work and on their family business and he always explain to me that we cant settle if we cant support our lives. when he becomes busy i become mad when he cant give time. we always had fight every two weeks or every month because of little things and asking question with doubt,, i become clingy to him and then july 2 he broke up with me because he think that he cant gain my trust anymore that i cant trust him anymore he said that i waste his promised and years weve been through im the one who push him that way,, and i can hurt him by physical .. my words to him is nothing to hurt his emotion..he blocked me on his facebook and he never text me after the broke up..

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      I’m sorry to hear about the breakup. Your neediness may have put him off. It’s important that you see what led to this,so watch this video: Understanding Why the Breakup Happened (Top 4 Reasons) as it can lead you to see things clearly and do (or not do) something about it, it’s up to you. For now, I suggest you give him a month’s space first of total silence so you can process your own feelings and let him miss you as well, okay? Getting an ex back is never easy, and requires patience and doing all the right things, but if you’re up to it, check out my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about this. Good luck!

      Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          You don’t approach him for the time being. Doing so will only confirm and worsen the scenario where you’ve been jealous and clingy. This is why you need to give each other time and space first (this is the “no contact” phase which lasts for 30 days) okay? Read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about this, including what to say and how to approach him once the “no contact” phase is over. Good luck!

          Reply
  65. Amalia
    Amalia says:

    Hello Brad,

    So my ex-boyfriend and I recently broke up about a month ago in July. He believed I was too passive for his tastes since I’m terrible at confrontation, since I have terrible social anxiety and he’s an extrovert who loves to talk. We were in a long distance relationship for six months and everything was relatively fine up until I visited him and stayed with him and his family for two weeks. During that time, he was too pre-occupied with running his startup company and we had quite a few arguments. We broke up a week later once I arrived back. I still want to get back with him eventually but I don’t feel like I’m ready yet. I know that I need to work on my confidence and self-esteem if I have the chance to get back with him. I want to implement the no-contact rule with him but the problem is that I work with him in his startup company. How should I go about this? I’ve limited all contact to purely work-related correspondence, which so far has only been a brief conversation once every two weeks or so since. I would really appreciate your advice.

    Reply
  66. judit
    judit says:

    Hi i just read this article about how to make your ex chase you and i wanted to ask about my situation-me and my boyfriend were 1.7y together and he broke up with me 4 month ago,at first i was stupid and talked to him a lot and told him how much i’m sad and miss him and he was too nice and let me do it. After like 3 weeks i stopped but still fell few times a bit but now it’s 3-2.5 month i did’nt talk to him but he texted me about how i feel and i replaied dry and did’nt put too many imotion except for “i don’t want us to talk” and “i feel good about our breakup” and yes i think it did me well but i still want him back and i ignore him every time i see him or just replying “dry” (i see him because we have the same friends so i have no choice but seeing him once a week). Anyway the point is that i don’t understand if i’m doing well because he told me he is emberessed to say hello sometimes and he just act friendly so what should i do? Thanks for reading.

    Reply
  67. Grace
    Grace says:

    Hello Brad, so my boyfriend and I of ten months just broke up for the second time a week ago. He said he lost feelings for me and that he does want to be friends, at least. The first time we broke up he said the same thing and that he still wanted to be friends. When we got back together (after 3 days of not contacting him later) he said he wanted me back while hugging me. I accepted and he was so happy. Well not even three weeks later he dumps me again. For the same reason as stated above. Then a few days later he keeps approaching me and looking at me. I didn’t feel like it was time to have the talk with him because I didn’t want it to end the same as last time. So I delayed speaking with him about our relationship. The next Sunday after church I asked to speak with him, he seemed annoyed and not at all like he did the Wednesday before. I asked him how he was doing and etc… Then after a while I told him I wanted him back. He said I know but, I can’t. I asked him if he would ever want to be together again and he said maybe. I haven’t contacted him yet. Im not sure what to do because i see him every wednesday and sunday so, will no contact even work?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      The time apart ought to clear your minds and figure out what you both really want and need, especially him, since he seems confused. Do not add in to the confusion by staying in his life, so you’re actually right to give it some time first. This is one of the reasons why I always suggest to cut off contact right away for at least a month. All right? Let him make a real effort this time because considering you’re both single, if he really loves you, he will make the effort. Just stay strong. Good luck!

      Reply
  68. Namy
    Namy says:

    Hi! Brad. My God! I was really hurt, disappointed and frustrated. I had a friend way back in college and it’s been 4 years without contact with each other because I couldn’t find her in any social networking sites. And the last 3 weeks ago, I got a friend request in facebook from her and of course, I accepted her. And it happened that we had a joint facebook account with my ex boyfriend as he wanted it. We had the relationship for one year and two months.And this friend of mine asked me to asked my ex boyfriend introduced her to some of his friends and so we talked together. And days later, my ex boyfriend confessed that he have chat with her using his personal Skype account and I was so angry and disappointed with him. He told me that they only talked about his friend who he wanted to meet with my friend and nothing more. And he promised to me that he won’t contact her again without me. And I thought that was fine. BUT… last night when I called him on Skype, he broke my heart the moment he joined me to his conversation with my friend and this friend of mine didn’t even greet me or something just to let me knew that she was there. It took few seconds before I told him that he was talking to someone but he screamed on me and he told me that he don’t need to tell me and explain everything and he didn’t wanted to talked to me. And he turned off the call without letting me spoke. He was so rude. He talked to me like that in front of my friend- a betrayer friend. My body was shaking that moment and thinking if I could only take my heart to take away the pain. We didn’t have an official break up and I don’t think we still need that. I don’t want to talk to them anymore. There is just only one thing I feel for them, and that is ANGER! I need your help, Brad. I want to move on and show to them that I will be better without them – without any one of them. BUT I don’t know how? I have blocked them in all my contacts, delete all photos, took out any single thing that reminds me of him. But I need help! This time, I am in grieve and in pain. I WANT TO MOVE ON AS SOON AS I CAN.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Namy, sorry to hear about all this. You’re on the right track with taking the proper steps to move on, just keep at it and go easy on yourself, okay? Everybody moves on at a different pace, but there are things you can do to help yourself. Accept the situation and heal from all this first. It’s important that you don’t rush it because it really depends on your ability to cope as well as other factors. But keep up the good work in deleting/blocking and whatever you can do not to be reminded of him. This video is for you: How to Get Over a Breakup (Tips for Moving On Quickly). Take care!

      Reply
  69. J
    J says:

    My ex and I broke up and instantly she was with someone new, I had asked her if it was because of someone else she said no, but 4 days later she was in bed with a POS. Anyways, we “got back together” to try to work things out but she was still seeing him on the sneaks. Her and I were still living together still having sexual relations, and we have a 4 year old daughter together. She also became pregnant around the same time she was sleeping with me and that other guy. She’s at times told me she still loves and cares for me. This is seriously Jerry Springer worthy, She really doesn’t know who’s baby it is, but she’s claiming its his due to the fact we were trying with no luck last year. How can I get rid of this worthless person (believe me its NOT opinion its fact. He drinks, history of domestics, and he’s a cheater, seen it myself, she doesn’t believe it to be true though) and reunite my family? She kicked me out of the home I purchased, moved him in, after saying thats EXACTLY not what she wanted to do. He’s a manipulative pos, sometimes it seems as if she sees her mistake and other times its like I’m the cheater, I’m the one that broke up a family. I just want to fix this for my daughter, and yes I still love her and I’m willing to try for both our relationship and of course to fix my daughters family. She did not deserve to have her family ripped apart by a selfish manipulative womanizing drunk, nor the selfish actions of her mother.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi J, sorry to hear you’re going through this. I understand where you’re coming from, believe me. I think it would be of help if you watch this video first: How to Save Your Marriage & Stop Divorce it’s the latest video I’ve released for people going through the same stuff as you. I’ve also recently launched a second book called “Mend the Marriage” and you ought to be checking it out. Now on to your situation… I think the best way to go about this would be to give her some space and not try to push things. It’s also time to think what the real issues were in the relationship since there are obviously enough that had pushed her into this guy’s arms. I’m not saying this is your fault, but just to evaluate things as to what really happened on a 20/20 hindsight, okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  70. victoriaelizabeth
    victoriaelizabeth says:

    Hi Brad,

    Me & my ex only dated for 2 weeks & 5 days.On the first week everything was perfect.We talked every single day & he isn’t afraid to show me off to his friends or even in social media.But on the second week he suddenly changed.He was not supportive nor fun to talk to like before.He doesn’t even care if I talk to other guys or take pictures with them.When I sent him love texts he doesn’t even reply.I know for a fact that I still love him & I want him back so badly. oh & by the way I was the one who ended the relationship.It hurts me every single time when he talked to my friends & even flirts them.How can I have him back & also make him regret for treating me that way? I want him to ask me if he can have me back. We may not last long but I know if we get back this time we can if both of us tried.I hope you reply x

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news here, but he may not be that into you as you had initially thought. If there are sudden changes, especially unwarranted ones, then that’s a huge red flag. Re-evaluate your relationship with him and try to see if it was even that serious to begin with. All right? Consider moving on from this and/or at least give him space; stop reaching out to him. Sending him “love” texts especially when he hasn’t been responding is a big no-no. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about this. Good luck!

      Reply
  71. Alpha ex
    Alpha ex says:

    Hey Brad! Love the site! Monday my girlfriend broke up with me because I was upset that she confided with a male coworker about out relationship problems. He later made fun of me for what she told him, and she laughed and agreed with him. This same time, I acted (in her eyes) insecure and jealous about another person (an old guy that means nothing). We have broken up many times in the past. Usually over me not liking her lack of boundaries with talking to exes or guys in general. This time she said she had enough of me acting crazy, insecure, and jealous… and that I needed to get help. She dumped me and this time she says its for real. She is telling all of her friends that it’s final and has been going out partying every night since. I called her the night of the break up to say goodnight, she said she loved me. The next day I called to make sure our plans were still on for the weekend and she said that she didn’t want to see me at all, we were done. I immediately started “no contact”. She has not tried to contact me since, it is about a week not. Her friend told me that she is always stalking my facebook page. I know there isn’t another guy yet, but it seems like she is looking. She has her friends post pics on fb to obviously make me jealous, but just them out having fun. I saw her in public and she came over to say hello, but was very angry and distant looking. It was very awkward and then over with quickly.

    The last time we had a “break” where we agreed to remain loyal to eachother. I tried no contact, but it only infuriated her. She told me that she needed me to “try”, she wanted me to pursue her and make her feel wanted…she wanted me to fix things.

    She is an alpha herself and very stubborn. If we have a stand-off with who texts eachother first while we were fighting, she will be relentless with not giving in, and even making me feel guilty that I wasn’t there for her when she needed something. So! I am under the impression that she really wants to contact me, but she is 1) too stubborn to give in 2) she has pretty much thrown me under the bus to her friends and might be embarrassed to admit to them that she contacted me (most of her friends have currently become single,and they are in “man-hating” mode.

    When we are good, we are great. We have so much fun together and share passion. When we fight, it’s world war 3. In the past I got her back by making promises to fix myself and be better at certain things. I think she is over accepting any more promises. What should I do? I feel the need to pre-empt her contacting an ex by doing something nice for her…building her something she wants. I realize that probably will make her realize that I am a good guy, but it probably wont build attraction. Does the fact that she is very stubborn change anything with the no contact approach? How long should I do it? How should I break the silence after?

    I’m an alpha at heart, but this girl knows how to push my buttons and I have been acting out of character. I appreciate your help in advance! You’re the best!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi, man. Oh gee I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritize your situation as well. Okay? Thanks for understanding!

      Reply
  72. Rsk
    Rsk says:

    Hey! My girlfriend for the last 8 and 1/2 years broke up with me saying that she has feelings for one of my “best friends”. The feelings are mutual. When she told me, i talked her into trying to repair stuff between us but after 1 day she said she really has to think about this. After 1 week of pondering she told me that he chose him. I presume they are dating right now. She told me that she is sorry and that she still loves me and wants us to remain friends but she doesn’t want to remain with a “What if?” in her life… I am hearthbroken.. I really don’t know what to do

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that, man, and I completely understand what you’re going through. I suggest you take this one step at a time so as not to overwhelm yourself, all right? Cut off contact so you get to think clearly first, as well as process your emotions and accept the breakup. I’d say when emotions are high, logic runs low, and this is why you need to cut off contact; to avoid making mistakes. Let her miss you, instead. I know this is easier said than done, but stay strong! All right? Read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about this and watch this video as a reference: 5 Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances of Getting Back Together.

      Reply
  73. Latonya hart
    Latonya hart says:

    Hi Brad
    I really need some advice.. I was with my ex for 10 years off and on. I cheated a little bit and so did he. In the end it was my cheating that caused the breakup. I apologized and asked him to make up with me but he was acting so cold toward me. After a few months I found out why and it was because he had moved in with a new girl and started a relationship. He lied about it for months and eventually stopped denying it. We have 2 kids together and I have tried everything to get him back. He tells me that maybe we will one day and he acts like he’s not happy with his new girlfriend but he won’t leave her and at the same time he won’t admit to loving her and wanting to be with her, he simply says he doesn’t know. It hurts and I just don’t understand why he’s being this way, I mean if he wants to be with her why not just tell me so that I can let go and move on?, please help…

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there, I think he’s having the best of both worlds. I may not know the entire story but this looks like you’re enabling him, somehow, by always trying to get him back. You mentioned you tried everything, which translates to you chasing him –more so if you see no effort on his part. And as a relationship coach, I say that is not how it’s supposed to go if you want him back. Giving each other space is very important. I suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll know how to go about doing this process right, okay? I can’t explain it all on here, it’s 130+ page book, therefore, it’s complicated to talk about it here. Take care!

      Reply
  74. Avin
    Avin says:

    Hello Brad sir,i loved all your you tube videos and you are a great person that you save relations.But i am one of that unlucky guy which you can’t.I was in a relationship with a girl from last 5 months.Before coming in to my life she had already made physical relation with her ex and being an Indian losing virginity other than your husband is a sin.so on regret she used to say me that no one is going to love her anymore but avin you are the only person who loves me and i am very lucky to have you.After 5 months the roles reversed and i was at the weaker side.It’s like she just desperately needed to get out of this relation so she gave me unrealistic reasons and den dumped me all of a sudden one day.Its been more than three months once in the middle i had given her a call but nothing is yet changed with her.She is the same abusive as she used to in the end of our relationship.I fear to feel the truth but sometimes it sounds like only i loved her and she never did.Because from this three months she is happy in facebook with her those friends ( girls ) about whom she used to say that her friend didn’t cared for her and is very selfish.She used to say even that she hates her and will never talk to her but now what i see when i stalked in to he rprofile just broke me not into pieces but into dusts.Everything she used to say me is opposite to what she is showing to public.She is posting pics with her same friend .They are having good times and i think she may have even started dating some other guys too.i being a simple caring guy who had really loved her ended up being badly broken.I had deactivated all my social accounts and just spend my days and nights inside a room.She had moved on so fast that i doubt my own existence.We had made couple tattos,kissed and it all meant a lot for me.Help me Brad sir,why did all these happened with me and what should i do atleast she shall regret of dumping me because nothing was my mistake and i really loved her.I am not happy because i wished some miracle could happen and god should give my girl back,I know that’s not going to happen and grief is the price we pay after all is said and done.Will my heart mend ever Brad sir ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Avin, sorry to hear about the breakup. If there’s one thing I can guarantee to you at this point and in your case, it’s that you will come out of this stronger, better…and wiser. 🙂 It won’t happen right away and it takes longer for some people. If a girl is say one thing but acts a totally different way, then you ought to take it as a huge red flag, man. Okay? Move on from this. Know that you deserve better. Watch this: How to Get Over a Breakup (Tips for Moving On Quickly). Take care!

      Reply
  75. Abigail
    Abigail says:

    Hello Brad,
    I have been dating my bf for a year and 5 months and we lived together but while living together we both changed and became really mean to each other and always argued mainly bc of trust on his part, he went on a date with another female and it hurt me so bad he apologized and begged me to not leave him and I stayed, there were multiple times when I tried to end it but he fought for us to stay together and I always stayed but a couple weeks ago he decided we need to take a break from each other for a week to see how we would be and I agreed and he told me that he thinks we shouldn’t be together bc he’s not good for me and he keeps hurting me and he wants to work on himself to be a better man and a lot of stuff and he ignored my texts and calls at times and other times he would answer he would act like and say were gnna work on us and fix it and then other times he would act like I’m no one to him he got his clothes from my house and when he left kissed me and said we can be friends and he still loves me he asked me to go to the movies with him one day and then when the day came he said not to ..he says he loves me but fell out of love with me bc of all of the arguing and he couldn’t handle it he says he wants to work on himself and I should too and I am its just so hard to not call or text him he came over my house a couple of times and we hung out and he acts like were together but won’t text or call me and he came over again last week and said we can take it slow and work on ourselves and our relationship and in time we might fall back in love with each other we went to the movies and he was all over me and it was how it was when we first started dating he constantly tells me he loves me and he wants time to himself and he feels like I’m trying to rush this its just so hard to not call or text him or see him and I dnt understand why he won’t call or text me he texted me and said he couldn’t talk but he loves me and when he gets a chance to text me he will but didn’t and I gave in and called him but I don’t know why he can post on Feb but not reply to me. I know I should stop calling and texting but I don’t know how to and I don’t know if we will get back together or if this is over or what this is please help.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! Sorry to hear about the breakup. If there’s ever a chance for you both to get back together, it’ll be through you leaving your ex alone first for a good while. There has to be a time where you don’t communicate with each other. Use this time so you can accept the breakup and try to remain calm, don’t aggravate the situation. Watch this video to get some tips: How to Stop Yourself From Contacting Your Ex but if your situation is too unique, you’re welcome to join my coaching program. Okay? Take care!

      Reply
  76. Keith Seymore
    Keith Seymore says:

    Hey brad, Keith Seymore here! Now brad, I’m not gonna lie my situation is pretty unique. You see I’m joining the United s Marine Corps in three weeks and I don’t know if I should establish that “no contact” rule because I believe I will lose her indefinitely… Brad I love this girl soo much and I really don’t want to lose her.. We were a great couple for one year and five months.. She knew about me joining the service the whole time too. It wasn’t a surprise at all. To be honest it’s my fault for this horrible situation because I became someone I wasn’t due to a nightmarish situation… I really just want her back and I want another opportunity, but idk what to do.. Please get back to me as soon as you can. Thanks

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Keith, there were clearly issues in your relationship. Otherwise, there wouldn’t have been a breakup in the first place. I suggest that whatever happened, to give it enough time and space first. There is simply no rushing this process, man. And believe me, I do understand where you’re coming from, but pursuing her more will only going to push her further away, okay? So learn to be chill, man. You’re doing a great job serving your country, and that apparently somewhat gets int he way of your relationship with her, perhaps? I don’t wanna make any wild guesses as to what the real issues in your relationship are, so sign up for my coaching program so I can guide you accordingly, okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  77. Jessica
    Jessica says:

    Hi Brad,
    I need your help! My ex boyfriend and I were together for over 2 years. During this time, we have gone on a couple “breaks” but have always gotten back together because our feelings for each other are very strong. He tells me this a situation of mind vs. heart. His heart wants me, but mind is saying no. The reasons he gave for our past “breaks” and our recent breakup were:
    1. we have gotten disconnected over time
    2. we are long distance and will continue to be so because he is still in med school for another two years
    3. talks of marriage have plagued our relationship causing stress (both of us wanted to marry but I wanted to do it sooner with set timelines and he didnt like that. He wanted it to feel natural when the time is right.).
    But now he’s saying he’s not even sure he sees me in his future because of these reasons. The breakup was calm but we were both emotional. Will your techniques work for me or are we doomed to fail?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      If I understood correctly, has this become a “do or die” situation for you? If not, then talks about the marriage might have had put him under pressure and that’s why he bolted. Was it him who initiated the breakup? The situation you’ve described is a little vague for me, and I don’t really wanna make wild guesses, so sign up for my coaching program so I can be more specific with my advice, okay? For now, as a general advice, I suggest you leave him be. Give each other enough time and space so you get to really miss each other and allow time to think. If the connection is as strong as you’ve described, then chances are, he’ll contact you once you cut off contact and focus entirely on yourself for around a month, okay? Take care!

      Reply
  78. Chotae
    Chotae says:

    Hi brad, i need your help. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years now and his been changing day by day, when i talk to him he doesn’t really care about it and say bad words at me, sometimes me and my school friends take snap chats and when he saw it he gets angry he thinks i’m a player , he live far from where i live and sometimes he comes and visits me. he works where he lives and sometimes when i text him he said his tired more than his work he only talks to me when its an urgent and important and he used to say he hate me and now he said he wants to stop this relationship

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      I think there is a lack of effective communication between you two. If he thinks you’re cheating, and assuming you aren’t, I suggest to clear the air with him. Have you shown him enough attention to make him feel loved? If not, this is probably where the problem stems from, his insecurity, especially seeing how you’re in a semi-long distance relationship. Get my coaching program if you’re still unsure how to go about it since each situation is different and I also need to take a look at all the other factors at play. I really wouldn’t want to be making any wild guesses at the expense of your realtionnhip. Make sense? Take care!

      Reply
  79. Joe
    Joe says:

    Hey Brad,
    Two months ago me and my girlfriend got into a fight and she said she was done. We had been arguing and fight for about a month she said she was unhappy and couldn’t do it anymore. Since then we have fought and argued and now she won’t even speak to me. Her friends have told me that she wanted to get back together but that now she is finished. I made mistakes. I begged, I pleaded, and I offered to do anything she wanted. Then I got mean and said a lot of mean things. Which we have since talked and apologized for. Additionally her best friend hates my guts and they hang out all the time. When we did actually talk in person she was extremely hurt and I could see it. She cried and looked miserable but said the whole time she was done and couldn’t work things out, because she didn’t want to be with me anymore. I haven’t stopped and left her alone for more than a few days. We are both in our early 20’s we got engaged after a year. I’m just wondering if there is any hope? Any insight would be awesome. Thanks!!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Joe, sorry to hear about the breakup. If there is to be any hope, you need to find the strength to do the right things first: cut off contact. Leave the girl alone for a while and let her have her space, all right? 🙂 From the looks of it, it seems that you can’t do that, so I suggest you try your best to do so. She’ll never get a chance to reach out to you or chase you if you’re always the one chasing her. Acting in panic mode won’t help, so take this time off to get a grip on yourself. Accept reality, process your emotions, and try to chill for a while, all right? Talk to a trusted friend (not her friend/s!) so you can gain better perspective and serenity. Read my Ex Factor Guide since it offers a more in-depth explanation on how to go about getting her back and to avoid any of the mistakes that would self-sabotage your chances. Take care!

      Reply
  80. sarah
    sarah says:

    Hi, me and my boyfriend dated for almost 2 years. One day he started acting weird and didn`t want to be with me so i broke up with him. A couple days later we talked and he told me that he needed space to be alone but at the same time he loved me and didn`t want to lose me. After that he has been texting me 2/3 days a week, and even though i know i shouldn`t, i always end up answsering him. We broke up a month ago and this last week he texted me everyday, but suddently he stoped and doesn`t say anything for 4 days. What do you think i should do? should i ignor his textes? should i ignor his presence? i forgot to tell you that we are from the same class

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Sarah… I’m not sure what you meant when you say he didn’t want to be with you. Was that just a one-time event or was he suggesting a breakup? Was this a mutual breakup, then? You may want to sign up for my coaching program so I can get a better picture of your situation. Whatever the case, give each other space for at least a month, because this seems like something you both hadn’t done yet, okay? Use this time to clear your head and perhaps see the situation from an objective perspective. Okay? Stay strong! Watch this: How to Stop Yourself From Contacting Your Ex. Good luck!

      Reply
  81. B
    B says:

    Hey Brad,
    Okay, so if he texts me during these 3 weeks, should I just ignore it? Let’s say he sends me a text on day 5, and I ignore it. Then he texts me again day 7, I ignore it? When should I reply? (If they’re just hey, how are you doing?:) texts)

    Reply
  82. Hardik
    Hardik says:

    Hi brad,
    I was in a relationship for 5 months then we broke up mutually. She wanted to get back after that I rejected it and left her alone she thought I was in a rebound . Which really hurt her bad. She was all after me for 2 months then I decided to get back and when I asked her she rejected and started distancing herself away from me . I could not adapt the change in her behaviour and I over reacted to the situation I begged her and all . And eventually agreed to be her friend . She said she is not yet over me but she said she wants to get over me . I really regret what I did . She loved me . I agreed to be her friend and when I said that she said she still needs a break and I could text her after a month . I want to get back with her as her boy friend . What should I do in such kind of a situation ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Hardik, as mentioned in this article, give her enough time and space first. Things shouldn’t feel like it’s forced because attraction should be built naturally. Make sense? Give her time to think clearly and process her feelings first before talking again. Respect her need for space by not contacting her for around a month. Be aware of the stuff I talked about here as well: 5 Mistakes that Could Ruin Your Chances…

      Reply
  83. Karl
    Karl says:

    Hey Brad.my name is Karl and i’m 27 yrs old.I was dumped by my little less than a month girlfriend who claimed bad hygiene (not STD’s or any of that kind,just bad smell and my house being disorganized,clothes all around etc…I know its horrible) being the reason for our breakup.Fact is,it only happened once and I was quite honest about it admitting my fault,but also mentioned that I wouldn’t have any problem for her to mention it that same moment since she told me that she was embarassed about it.Furthemore,our relationship hasn’t been bad,but I was in a constant fear of her dumping me,and felt like there was always something missing although we were in every day contact with each other.During our breakup on the phone,I told her that apart from the reasons she told me,”i always had a feeling you were plotting to dump me anyway”,something with neither agreed nor disagreed.Now I saw many of your videos these days,and I’m really in the mood of trying your hints out,but I still think that my case lacks in quantity (short period,not so much time spent together) and had a really ankward ending.Now its 3 days days we split up and I just want to know one thing in all honesty: Am I completely and utterly toasted?Is there a glimmer of hope?Thanks,you’re the man!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, Karl. Sorry to hear about the breakup. Thank you for being honest! I still suggest you follow the “no contact” rule since bugging her at this point will only confirm her decision to break up with you. Kudos to you for paying close attention to my videos, and yes, I suggest you tread carefully since there may not be enough to grasp on when it comes to your relationship. I also suggest that you take care of yourself and focus on self improvement. Get your stuff organized, so to speak, see that relationship as a wake-up call to change what needs to be changed, all right? Good luck!

      Reply
  84. Bára Sládková
    Bára Sládková says:

    Hi Brad, My name is Bára and i am 26. I ended my relationship just 4 days ago and i can´t stop thinking if i did right. It wasn´t very long relationship but full of love and emotions. We started so fast and suddenly realised we need to slow down but it didn´t happen very well. I’m not a very patient so I could not wait if our relationship moves somewhere. We have never fought until last day when i wanted to move on. I asked him how he feels abou us and i was suprised his reaction. He told he didn´t feel like start serious realtionship but he didn´t want me to tell him i was going to leave him. He felt to be under presure! But everytime he was enjoying time with me. He said that last day i saw him! And also our friend saw that he is happy with me… But i was in high emotions and i couldn´t decide what to do, what is right. So i told him i need some time without him because we both maybe wants something diferent… Now i am texting you because you could maybe tell me if we still have a chance to get back. I haven´t spoken to him since i told him this. And i still think that he didn´t want me to let go because he has feeling for me. Thank you and i´m sorry for my english. it´s not my basic language.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there, try to examine your real reasons for breaking up with him. Since you broke up with him, I say that you get the upper hand in this since you were the one to initiate the breakup. I should also add that it may be for a good reason. Try to look within yourself what made you broke up with him in the first place and if the issues within your relationship can be resolved or not. All right? This video is for you: Is Your Ex the Right Person for You? Once you get to see the reasons, then you may realistically examine whether it’s possible to get back together, if that’s what you want. Good luck!

      Reply
  85. Mikey
    Mikey says:

    Hey brad I’ve been looking at your videos and I have to say thank you but before I go on I need to tell you I’m younger than you may think im a freshmen in high school and I was with this girl who I never would think I would be with but ended up loving her and realizing I need to keep this one. So When I was with my ex things were a little crazy at first but somehow we still stayed together by the time near her birthday she found out that I cheated on her now it’s not what you think I use to date girls omg the social media app “kik” and i was dating some girl who lived in Michigan and I lived in Cali. Now, I was very wrong for what I did and I know I messed up big time. Okay so this is the name of my ex that lived in my sates and lived closer to me “Jasmine” the girl on kik, “katie” so I had jasmines name on my bio for Instagram and I guess Katie saw it and looked through my followers and tried to DM jasmine and at first I was like OMG there’s no way to explain this and so I sorta lied and just said she was a friend and it just got worse so I guess there talking on IG and I don’t know about it so I know jasmines password and etc to instagram so I log in and my heart drops… I told Katie repeated to not talk to jasmine and she did the complete opposite and jasmine kept asking her please tell me what’s going to on to Katie and then jasmine said I’m going to break up with him if you don’t tell me so tell me. Then Katie said “wait what? You guys are dating?” And Jasmine says yah and Katie’s says wow okay and jasmines asks please tell me what’s going on and Katie says well he’s dating me too…

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Whatever the case, don’t take things too seriously now since your age is a period of growth and lots of changes. Focus on your studies instead, all right? And live life to the fullest. You’ll naturally learn how to be more mature and deal with your relationships naturally in the future. Experience is the best teacher. Take care!

      Reply
  86. Larry
    Larry says:

    Hi Brad, I will keep this brief.

    I started to know this girl about 5 months ago and hang out with her 1 month ago. We start going out every week and I held her hand by the 3rd outing. On the 6th outing, I asked her to be my girlfriend. She was teary and said no, however the next day asked me out for a talk and said yes. She kissed me after that and cuddle for the whole day.

    5 days later, she told me that it was not working out because she was feeling that I’m being needy and that made her very tired to focus on her studies and sport. Yes, our relationship lasted on 5 days. Is it possible to get a 2nd chance to start all over?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      It may be to your best interest to move on from this. A whirlwind romance this short can only have potential if one or both of you matures. She sounds confused in this case, so let her approach you first the next time around, if she comes around, okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  87. norma
    norma says:

    I was engaged to engagement that should of never took place. He dumped me to leave to california with his mom. While that happened I tried moving on so I joined a dating site and my boyfriend who is now my x found me on there. He was totally hooked on me for 7 out of the 9 months we dated. We had lots of footprints he called them we created together. I was mean and somewhat hateful Bc I was scared of getting hurt again so I told him stuff like I didn’t see a future with him I was wrong. He got a jo. Offer 2 hours away when I finally realized what I wanted after kicking my fiance out to be with him just needed time to recover from that my x boyfriend said he loved me but not in love with me and had mixed emotions.i made things worse by blowing up his phone and much more… here it is end of march he hasn’t texted or called me for almost a month. I’ve been doing the NC it will be 30 days on 24th. I’m scared I might have ruined my chances? Pls. help? Is there still a chance of me or him talking again? He is still out playing the field and it drives me nutts that he has moved on 🙁

    Reply
  88. Sue
    Sue says:

    My situation is quite different. We originally met in 2013 had a wild summer and we both suppressed our feelings. We were apart for 8 months and he found me. We got back together, my father got sick and passed away, immediately after I purchased a new home that would accommodate the children, During this time he wasn’t working, I took care of him and his child. He then got a job and we discussed the division of bills. Not long after valentines day I had a break down and the shock left of losing my dad. There have been really ugly things said on my part I’m sure you can imagine. It turns out for a period of 4 months it’s like a fog, I detached from everyone including my kids. He says he can’t look at me the same and he doesn’t want to go back for another 10 years and do this all over again..Ugh frustrated,

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      I’m sorry for your loss. If there’s been a lot of stuff happening in your life right now, it’s important that you deal with them one by one. Don’t rush it, and get help whenever you need to, it’s a gift you can give yourself. More often than not, people need an unbiased opinion and this is where my coaching program could help. Anyway where are you now emotionally? My job as a relationship coach can help you figure out whether it’s the right time for you to be back in a relationship or not, and offer suggestions or alternatives on how to go about it if you are. For now, as a general advice, work on your own issues (you’ve been withdrawing emotionally?) without the help of your ex, clinging to someone and expecting that someone to solve your problems by being in a relationship with them (this is how it may have appeared to him although I’m sure that’s not your intention) is not a good idea. Take care!

      Reply
  89. Rich.
    Rich. says:

    Brad,

    Struggling herr. I will keep it brief. My gf of 6years found out I cheated, she left me but told me if I would have asked her to stay she would have. She is the love of my life. It has been a month but I think she might be using these methods on me. I just want to develope a real relationship with her. She moved out and only contacts me when she wants. Thinking about getting your plan. Please help.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey there, Rich! Sorry to hear about the breakup. Women cheat for different reasons and while I’m not saying in any way that you are at fault, it’s important to try and see where you went wrong and what mistakes that you and her made that led to all this. For starters, do not be too available to her at all when she contacts you and it helps if you’re really busy with your own life so it won’t seem forced. Watch this: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts and Phone Calls. If you’re still unsure what to do, then I invite you to sign up for my coaching program so I would know more about your situation, monitor it, and guide you on a regular basis. Take care!

      Reply
  90. sindu
    sindu says:

    hai,
    my name is sinduja and i am 19 years old a have been in a relationship with my classmate for 6 months or so everythings was going fine…he is kinda guy who wants to enjoy life and always expect a reward for wat he does.i use to fight with him a lot but the next day we would talk and get it done bya kiss.but 1 day i was soo angry and the next day we dint talk to each other in school.i on the 2nd day went to him and said sorry but he said he no more needs me ibegged him in school and finally the next day morning he said he was ok and he wil accept me but after few days he said he dint like my appearance and said he dint need me …and i left as such and a day or so later he said he dint mean it at that time i said everything was over but after going to myhome i felt wrong i called him he said lets get back and again after a day or 2 he said he feels like a robot and does not want to be in relationship.i said i am okbut the next day i called him to get back wih me he said he was ok and we again got back and after few dayz he said he really doesnt want to be in relationship but i let it go after 3 days i asked him i am too lonely i want you back he said he was sorry…i really ont know wat i did…but when i asked him why he doesnt need me he said that i dint understand him and he dint want to hurt me anymore…i am going to start no contact from today so can youplease say anything about my situation…it would be helpful thanks-sindu

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Sinduja, sorry to hear that. Read the article again, because based on how I understood your situation, you hadn’t really given him a chance to pursue you because you’re always the one chasing him. Follow the tips on this article and watch my Youtube videos as well to help you understand things, especially this particular video: The #1 Root Cause of All Breakups.

      Reply
  91. Sara
    Sara says:

    Hey brad, so i’m SARAH i’m 19 and he’s 21 we’ve been together since 2010 and he just broke up with me because some things has been going down… and the relationship became too stressful for the both of us because of me i can’t reconcile between my studies and my lover so i didn’t find time to hangout with him and talk like we used to … i’m lost really …but he also did some things to me,it’s been 3 months since my grand mother died and i didn’t find him by my side when i needed him,when i needed to talk he was going through some problems and he didn’t want me to tell him mines … so after my grand mother died i get throught it by my own … but the real reason why he broke up with me is that i didn’t tell him all the things like i used to some stupid things like what have been going with my familly i know it’s stupid like a reason but i’m not ready to let him and moove on i love him and i want him back so bad because i need to concentrate on my finals and he’s my soul mate… I’m so confused and it just hurts… I’m begging you to help me! please and sorry for my english.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Sarah, since a relationship gets in the way of your studies, the obvious choice is to prioritize your studies. If things have become too stressful for you both, it’s never a bad idea to give each other space first, granted that your relationship was healthy and you truly love each other — so don’t panic.Moreover, use the time (4 or 5 years?) together to work to your benefit! 🙂 Doing the subtle and little mistakes can hurt your chances though, so be sure that you’re equipped with the right knowledge on how to go about this, it’s what my Ex Factor Guide and Youtube videos are for, so check those out if you haven’t already. Good luck!

      Reply
  92. Jonathan
    Jonathan says:

    Hey Brad, I have a very difficult situation. My ex broke up with me back in March of 2014 as a result of a serious drinking problem I had. We both saw someone else during our breakup, but she got jealous when she found out I was moving on and we got back together at the end of May that same year. Still had the drinking problem, but I lied and told her I wasn’t drinking anymore. My actions did not reflect that, however. I was evil. I said many, many things to her that I wish everyday that I could take back, but I can’t. She broke up with me again very shortly at the end of August. I went to treatment on September 20th for alcoholism, and have been sober ever since. We hung out a couple times literally as soon as I got home from treatment. She told me that she made a mistake and that she was sorry and missed me and loved me. We had a great time together for a total of 2 days, then she told me she made a mistake and that she was sorry, but she can’t be with me because she’s scared. She says she loves and cares about me and wants to be friends and see me do well. I want to be in her life, but I can’t as “just friends.” I tried to be just friends up until a week ago, but I couldn’t do it anymore. I asked her to block me from everything because I don’t have it in me to block her myself. I have this false sense of hope that if I hang on just a little longer and if she sees me doing well, that she’ll want me back. She blocked me on Facbook, but not on Instagram. I saw on her Instagram that she’s been seeing another guy and that has torn me to pieces. I asked her again to block me from Instagram, and she did. Do I need to just move on with my life?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there,sorry to hear that. It does seems like she still cares, not just enough to get back in a relationsihp with you. It’s good that you’ve been taking steps to deal with your alcoholism, try to not rush it though; this applies for your recovery and your relationship. Permanent, long lasting changes happen once you put 100% effort into it with little to no distraction and being in a relationship with her might get in the way because you’re simply not ready yet. Continue to commit to self improvement so you’re over your alcohol problem once and for all, okay? Don’t be so hard on yourself, the best lessons learned are often the hardest one to accept, so be kind to yourself through all this. Don’t be agree to be friends with her either as like I said, you need to focus on one thing at a time: making long lasting changes. Watch this to make her understand: How to Escape Your Ex Girlfriend’s Friend Zone and/or sign up for my coaching program if you’re still having a hard time dealing with all this. Take care and stay strong!

      Reply
  93. Lara
    Lara says:

    Hi Brad,
    I recently purchased your ex-factor guide, but I’m still confused since my situation is bit complicated. Our relationship lasted for of 3yrs(we were also living in the same house previously), after we broke up we had this “friends-with-benefits” setup. I did all the “pleading and desperation moves”, I’ve just started the no contact rule after I watched your video. We broke up about almost 3 mos now, and the thing is I will be leaving for Saudi Arabia next month for a new job. But i still want him back. I really need your advice. Hoping for your help.. Thanks in advance!
    Regards,
    Lara

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Lara, sorry to hear about the breakup. Do you still live together now? That kind of setup is an exception to the “no contact” rule. Follow the guide, but when it comes to cutting off communication or the “recovery phase” as what I’d like to call in my book, slightly modify it and use the techniques here: How to Act Around Your Ex and Exceptions to the “No Contact” Rule. I don’t know your entire situation, but you moving to a different country might be a blessing in disguise, since, depending on the issues within your relationship, it may be just what you both need. A little space never hurts a healthy relationship. In your time apart, take time to look at the real issues in your relationship, you may be too close to the situation to see it now. Take care!

      Reply
  94. Autumn
    Autumn says:

    Hey Brad, not sure what to do.. My ex and I dated for 6 months and then he said: “he wanted to stay single/not get married” and he ended things with me.. There were some games being played from his side.. And We tried to stay friends.. And he even tried to set me up with one of his buddies.. But it grew too difficult for me (and I was not attracted to his buddy) so I walked away from the situation started no contact. It was quiet. He periodically sends me group texts & e-mails but I never responded and would try to avoid group events he was at. I recently ran into him and he gave me a side hug. He looked miserable, and he spoke with a gentle tone. He told me he missed me & then he told me he was not angry.. . I started crying & told him I missed him too.. He asked how I was and I said “ok” and he said: “me too..” But then he looked at me like he wanted to say more but could not say the words..

    Later that day, (after I left) he sent a text that said that “it was good seeing you. I am not angry. I miss you.”

    What should I do? I terribly want him back but can’t tell if this is genuine or some sort of game..

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      It’s never a good idea to stay friends (in the hopes of getting him back) after a breakup. His actions of him setting you up with his friends should’ve spoken volumes to his true feelings, this could have been easily avoided if you had cut off contact right away and started to accept the situation so you could heal. 🙂 Anyway don’t be so hard on yourself as these mistakes are very common. From what it looks now, he’s putting you in the friend-zone and this is really not the best position for you to be in, more so if you know he’s into playing games. Six months is really not long enough to know someone, so continue to stay away from him (and yes, cut off contact) until you get a clearer perspective of whether he’s long-term material or is just looking for a fling — without asking him. If he isn’t playing games, then at the very least, he’s very immature, and it’s time to evaluate your situation whether you really want to get back together with someone with that kind of attitude. Whatever the case may be, I still suggest that you read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll get the upper-hand or avoid any unnecessary pain when a similar situation crops up — whether with your ex or with someone new. Okay? Take care!

      Reply
  95. Alli
    Alli says:

    Hi Brad,
    My ex and I have been Broken up officially since New Years day. He was starting to be distant to me and always seemed a little distant and not fully into the relationship from the beginning. We dated since july and he came on heavy the first month and then pulled away. I think I was his rebound and I don’t think he was able to give me an open heart and full love whir we were together. I also work with him on a daily basis, which was great and full of flirting while we were together, but now I have had to change my schedule to see him the least and try to be in No contact the best I can

    My emotions have been all over the place. I fell really hard for him, and I do think if he didn’t have all these hang ups from the past and things he needed to sort through, things could have worked out. Instead he felt pressured by me and felt he couldn’t give me what I needed. I don’t believe I acted very needy but I think because of his unavailability anything would have been too much for him…I don’t know how to act around him. I try to be very friendly and act happy, but I have been heartbroken for weeks now. I see he has started liking photos of his ex on social forums and a girl at work said he was trying to Facebook her. He seems lost and confused to me and I want to be there for him because I care about him and because when things were good with us I was truly happy.

    We barely talk, I try not to be heavy to him and I just act happy and friendly. Is there anything I can do? I am trying so hard to move on. But I can’t deny these feelings I have for this guy. If he could heal and figure himself out do you think he could come back to me? Or was I just a rebound with no emotional attachment?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Alli, sorry to hear that. If your gut instinct tells you that he’s holding back or not fully into you or isn’t over is ex, don’t ignore that feeling. It’s there for a reason. 🙂 Cutting off communication with someone you love with all your heart is never easy, I’ve talked about this extensively in my Ex Factor Guide though as an attempt to help people understand why it needs to happen as well as what you can do to get him back — depends on the situation and other factors at play. I’ve also made free videos: How to Stop Yourself from Contacting Your Ex and How to Make Your Ex Miss You for starters. I suggest you check all those materials out as I believe it can help you. Anyway for now, use this time to heal — grieve if you must — until you begin to see things clearly again. Make sure you don’t see things the way you want them to and instead look at reality. The space also lets you ponder why the breakup really happened — all these takes time so I suggest that you be kind to yourself especially during this time, okay? Be strong and take care now!

      Reply
  96. Rishi
    Rishi says:

    Hey brad!!! Thanks for your article..my ex called me with in a week after starting no contact period…she asked me to be as a friend now… I used to beg her before starting no contact period..as u’ve already said to ignore her…i just rejected her reuest of being friendS…but now i cant control speaking to her…this feeling sucks me down…am very scared about letting her go…..should i be like a friend…now am unable to conrol my feelings.. Am scared that she may go off permanently

    Reply
  97. Will
    Will says:

    Me and my ex dated for nine months and 8 days ago she broke up with me. This occured right after winter break where she was gone both weeks and we only saw eachother one day; im not sure if this has anythig to do with it though. During the nine months i became needy, jealous, and overprotective. I did this enough to turn her off and cause her to break up with me. After a few days of awkward no contact and miserable avoiding eachother i reached out to her via long text 5 days ago saying i have matured and asked for one more shot. She responded with a very long message basically saying she doesnt believe she wants a relationship right now and she wants to get to know herself and what she wants better. I now know, thanks to you, that i really turned her off emotionally by displaying some of the characteristics you said not to in a relationship. She told me she still really cares about me and doesnt want to lose such a big oart of her life so fast and she wants to continue talking. I responded to this saying that im not interested in being friends but to contact me if she ever changes her mind. On twitter i see her act completely fine and sometimes act depressed and its killing me. She seems to only act happy now though. I deleted the app off of my phone for the moment because i find myself stalking her account sometimes. Of course i sometimes end up re downloading it and checking her account but then i delete it again but it is much less frequent and it has cut down my obsessiveness. I also act as happy as possible when i am on it. I can barely eat or sleep. I know that we can work this out but i dont want to screw it up. How can i get her back? What are my chances? I was also wondering how to deal with it when you know one of her friends are talking bad about you? Also, i know im overanalyzing alot but i really suspect she may be talking to somebody new. Im on the 5th day of no contact. Im getting better each day but i would really love to have her back in my life. I see her in school sometimes but i pay her no mind. We dont come close enough to talk or anything, if this happens I assume I will just say a brief, warm hello and move on. I act as happy as I can when i know she is nearby. Please help. I have watched most of your videos and read many articles im just asking for some advice.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritize your situation. Thanks for understanding!

      Reply
  98. Melissa
    Melissa says:

    Hey Brad,

    Just got your Ex Factor program but wondering if it could help with a short relationship? Met a guy, instantly clicked and we were inseparable for 2 weeks. Very emotionally intense for us both. He even wanted me to meet his family and sent my pic to his sister, calling me his “girlfriend.”Totally fell for him, but suddenly he broke it off saying he thought I was too insecure or negative. Granted, I had just wrapped up a divorce, which was bringing more stress than I normally had. But I’m wondering if such a short relationship can be rekindled? Is 31 days of no contact too long seeing as our relationship was so brief?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Melissa, to be honest, two weeks is not a very long time to have built a foundation on. Not to generalize though, but your best route is still to follow my guide since it’s designed to increase your chances instead of sabotaging it — which people unknowingly tend to do when a relationship ends. In your case, I suggest not only to follow the guide down to a tee, but also try to see the real reason that ended your relationship, as well as see if you two are really compatible to begin with. It’s time to ask yourself some really hard questions, like have you noticed some red flags that he may not be long-term material but you went ahead anyway? Realize what mistakes you (and he) both made as relationships always take two to make or break, it’s rarely just one person’s fault. In this case, the recovery phase should let you calm down and see things from a clearer perspective to make sure you’re not making a completely emotional one — which is a recipe for disaster! 🙂 It enables you to remove the rose-coloured glasses, so to speak, and see the reality of what’s really going on, which is very important. Take care!

      Reply
  99. Thomas
    Thomas says:

    Hi Brad.

    I broke up with my ex just over a month ago. We’ve been together three years and have been on and off for the last 6 months at which point i moved out. I became very insecure over the last year and started smoking weed which made it worse. I became jealous and she felt i was very controlling. I over reacted about her and some guy that she met with when we broke up (on one of our on and off moments). Since we broke up we emailed each other back and forth arguing. Her saying nothing happened, me being stubborn, then as the emails went on i changed my mind. I wanted her back, but as you can imagine, so did she. I begged and pleaded but she was sure its the end. Then she was hot and cold up to Christmas. I didn’t hear from her for days then the day after boxing day i get an email saying ‘glad you got the Christmas you wanted without me.’ And that was all she said. I emailed her how much i love her and how i think it can work but she emailed saying shes listened to what i have to say and i’ve listened to what she has had to say but that its over and that’s at peace and hopes i do to? She ended the email with i hope you have a good 2015 i love you. I have since not messaged. But she dropped off my mail in my mail box on the 3rd, does this mean she still cares? So i dropped off her dvd’s in her mail box and sent her an email just saying i miss her. I also sent her flowers on the 7th saying i miss her and i love her, because, well i do. She has not responded and i have not contacted her.

    I have stopped smoking as of the 1st and know i need to commit time to self esteem and will seek counselling for my self esteem and jealousy.

    My question to you is can i still win her back or has too much happened and has she moved on? Is it to late even to try the 30 day no contact??

    Please let me know. I genuinely love this woman and want to spend my life with her. I know i have been a fool for the last months.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, I think the number one mistake here was both of you hadn’t given each other the time and space you (both) badly needed to process things first. Arguing, being needy, clingy, etc. are only guaranteed behaviour to make things go from worse to worst. I have both good and bad news to this. The good news is she most likely still loves you, even her leaving a bitter message of you spending Christmas without her is a good sign. The bad news is you can’t keep messing things up as it seems like she’s already being pushed to the edge. You can learn to avoid going through these mistakes and unnecessary pain if you’ll only take the time to read my Ex Factor Guide because as you’ll discover, you’re doing the opposite of what I tell my clients to do. Don’t be so hard on yourself though, just learn from these mistakes.:-) The first step is to really give her space and let things be for a while. You’ve done the right thing though by working on self improvement and getting over that addiction. Overall, I say things may not be as hopeless as it seems, granted how she still seems to care lately, just get a hold of yourself first and gather your strength so you won’t end up self-sabotaging your chances, okay? Getting an ex back is a process, and as long as you have patience and get my guide, you may still get the chance of winning her back, so get my guide. Take care!

      Reply
  100. Terry
    Terry says:

    This is a bit hard for me to deal with or seem to understand. I’ve dated this girl for 4 1/2 years and we seemed so right for each other. What makes it so hard to deal with is that we where friends who also had a few mutual friends. Over the past 4 1/2 years we’ve experienced between 4 deaths and one miscarriage with two failed pregnancies. Just like her I tried to explain to her that I understood her pain because I felt the same pain as well with the losses and disappointment. We managed to hold it together but it seemed that the slightest thing would set either one of us off and we end up fighting even.hitting below the belt. In the beginning we never fought it was always fun times and lots of jokes and laughter. Then the miscarriage took place and everything changed. I’ve isolated myself from a lot of people who has know me for years even cutting them off for being offensive toward my relationship with her because of her views and insight on what it means to be a friend. And now she has seemed to sut me and the rest of the world out and I tried explaining to her that I find that hurtful, heartbreaking, and disrespectful to me. And all my words have fallen on deaf ears. To my knowledge we haven’t been seeing other people and with so much time we’ve spent together it’s kinda hard starting over and we have each other’s names on the front of our minds and the tips of our lips. I don’t know what to do and she keeps saying she needs space but I can’t take the revolving door act every time things get emotionally intense. I myself have experienced heartbreak in the past just as she has. I’m lost and need help I don’t want to lose someone who means a lot to me because of unsolved issues of the past or the present that she just doesn’t want to either admit or deal with head on so we both can get back to the happy place I have grown accustomed to and from.what I know she has too since she mentions it every other occasion when things are good! Please help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey there, Terry. I completely understand where you’re coming from and I’m sorry to you’re going through this. Sometimes, breaking up does entail a lot of changes, including (mutual) friends, if and when necessary at least for quite some time. Now I understand how hard it is to break away and give her space, but you’ve got to realize that it’s for the best for now. It’s what I would’ve advised as well. Granting her request for space will also show that you respect her and the more you push to stay there and fight for the relationship, the more she would likely run further away. Staying is only counterproductive at this point. Give each other space first for at least around a month or so. Time and space will also allow you to get yourself together and do the hardest stage of a breakup: acceptance. Talking isn’t gonna help because like I said, you need to give it time and show her that you respect her wishes. Tihngs may get back to normal granted that you play your cards right, but it simply won’t happen instantly, so be patient and stop freaking out. 🙂 Like Einstein said: “Life’s most significant problems can’t be solved at the same level of understanding that created them.” — give it time. Let me guide you if you’re struggling daily so I can give you tips on how to go about this by signing up for my coaching program. Take care!

      Reply
  101. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hey Becky, yes, cutting off contact for a good while always work than doing the opposite of having one argument after another. The truth is, more often than not, you simply can’t talk someone into getting back together with you because attraction is built naturally. The things you’re doing now like hearing stuff about him is also not helping your cause, so I suggest to cut that out. 🙂 “No communication” means you also not hear anything from him or about him because as you can see, it’s not helping you at all other than making you paranoid. Avoid unnecessary pain now and start doing the right things, and this is where my Ex Factor guide can help. My coaching program may be full at the moment but my guide should help you get on the right track and stay on the right track on what you ought to be doing and not doing. For now, I suggest to stay strong with cutting off communications and focus on yourself 100%, all right? Getting an ex back is a process which can’t be rushed in any way, so you have to be patient… as well as do the right things. Take care!

    Reply
  102. Becky
    Becky says:

    Hiya Brad,
    Me and my boyfriend split up about 4 weeks ago on mutual terms but after a big argument,I then regretted the decision almost immediately and attempted to sort out the argument, not realising it had gone quite so far this time… He didn’t speak to me whatsoever and wouldn’t give me answers to what was going on, I only heard off of mutual friends what he was feeling etc. so I decided to go to his house and he came outside and we spoke, he told me it was over and he doesn’t love me (all the usual stuff), I did not contact him whatsoever after this and we left it as being ‘friends’. Several days ago he came to the same New Years party as me, we said hello to eachother but barely spoke, he was telling everyone how he doesn’t want to take me back easy but he loves me a lot and can’t take his eyes off me. Which is an instant improvement from before, clearly because I hadn’t spoke to him the tables have turned! I’m just a bit lost with how to go forward.. as I’ve heard that he also kissed a girl who I’m mutual friends with the same night.. Even though I know it doesn’t mean anything it just confuses me, is it to make me jealous? I would just like some advice on how to move forward with this situation because I do want him back and I can now also see that deep down he wants that too.. Which makes it even sadder that we’re not together, so how do I move forward and make sure he wants me back? Thank you so much x

    Reply
  103. So Confused
    So Confused says:

    Dear Brad-
    To try for cliff note version- my ex disappeared out of my life 5 days after the most amazing birthday (40th). I also lost my job the same day. He was super sweet when I let him know I lost my job but then went MIA for four days. His excuse was he lost his phone- we live about 15 miles apart. He’s going through a lot of stress on his side (finalizing divorce, business not doing well, etc.). I know now that I shouldn’t have gotten involved until divorce was final but we had known each other for 4 years and always were attracted but never could date since he was married. Once the marriage was over, he pursued me. We dated about 3 months of perfection. Everyone talked about how perfect we were together… How amazing the chemistry… How much he loved me… I saw it and felt it too. I started to let my guard done. At the same time, the stresses on his life got worse and our relationship started to suffer. Again- my hindsight being 20/20 and my foresight being an idiot- I went “nuts”. Texted and called… Lashed out… Cried… You name it- I probably said it. I was making myself miserable and even worse- I missed him more than I thought possible. He rarely responded if at all. I stopped all contact for about two weeks. After I had calmed down, I realized how I had behaved and reaches out to him to meet for coffee to apologize. He responded that would be “GREAT” and we scheduled time for lunch a week later. The day we were supposed to meet, he and I exchanged a few texts and he called me to “say hi” even though I was going to see him in an hour. He told me he was the one who needed to apologize for all that happened. When we met, it was amazing. We were able to talk about both our roles in the break up. He told me his lack of communication was him running from all the problems in his life. He said he was selfish and I deserved so much more. He apologized for abandoning me when I was going thru so much. He told me that asking him to coffee scared him at the thought of me saying goodbye to him. He told me he would prove to me and my friends how much I mean to him. Our lunch led to dinner, etcetera. He was leaving the next day to go up north for work and promised to contact me when he got there. He sent my sister a text the next day saying his phone dumped a bunch of numbers including mine and could she send him my number. It took me contacting him 2 days after that before I actually heard from him at all. He had disappeared and stopped responding again… The second he was gone from me??? After a week, I became furious… I reverted to texting and trying to call… He reverted to radio silence. Now I’m just devastated. I have no idea why he would say everything he did and then never make the effort? I’m so angry and hurt that he lead me on like this. I don’t understand why someone would do that? I left him a voicemail two days ago and said I deserved someone that cares about me, that I care too much about myself to allow this treatment, and said goodbye. Now I’m trying so hard not to contact him- holidays not helping… I know I should walk away. I know I shouldnt contact him. I don’t know why it’s so hard to do when he played me like this? I don’t know why I still want him back?? What’s wrong with me?? Why can’t I walk away as easily as he has? Why can’t I move on? It’s killing me inside. I’m not normally so weak and pathetic… Please help…

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, I’m sorry to hear that. Please try to keep your story short the next time around, a paraphrased version will do. I really want to help but I only have little time to give free advice since, understandably, I have to prioritize my coaching clients.Thanks for understanding! 🙂 Now breezing through your message, if a man’s (or a woman’s) words do not match his/her actions, always look at the actions and see what he’s doing. If the relationship only lasted three months, then it may not be as serious as you’d like to think. Another factor is since he just got out of marriage, then he needs time to gather his thoughts and emotions again to heal from that previous situation and this takes time. Don’t rush it. Let him come to you first from now on and understand that you have to be strong if you want results — find the strength to cut off contact. Doing the opposite will only hurt your chances. Watch this: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances of Getting Back Together. I invite you to sign up for my coaching program if it means that you need someone to vent out to and guide you to let you do the right things instead of unknowingly self-sabotaging your chances, okay? Take care!

      Reply
  104. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Hello Mike, a girl who’s truly into you or truly loves you will reach out even if it’s not her character to do so. She broke up with you because she has lost (emotional) attraction and no amount of you talking or staying and being there for her will change that since attraction is built naturally. It’s not something that you can talk over. 🙂 Watch my video on this: How to Get Your Ex Back in a Long Distance Relationship since everything I’m about to tell you is on there.

    Reply
  105. Mike
    Mike says:

    Hey Brad,
    My girlfriend of a year and half broke up with me because of my character, I was very jealous and always asking questions about what she was doing and with who. We are in a LONG DISTANCE relationship and we have only seen each other physically for 4 months spread out in the time interval. We still communicate regularly via skype/whatsapp and even phone calls. I have told her I have changed but she doesn’t believe me (understandable). As of now, she likes my new behavior towards her, but she thinks that I only behave as such to get her back, and once we get back together. I will return to my old demons. I really love her, I truly believe she does to. She is very pretty, so plenty of other guys are chasing her. She’s the type of girl that doesn’t chase guys…so I’m afraid if I do the no contact rule, she might think I moved on and give a chance to another guy. Don’t know if I make sense. What should I do? I need your advice… Thanks again for your expertise.
    Mike 🙂

    Reply
  106. Sarthak
    Sarthak says:

    Hi Brad,
    Im 17 years and from India and just went through an uncalled breakup about a few months ago. The fact was that both of us loved each other. She’s a year older than me but it didn’t matter to us. The problem i faced was that her parents didn’t approve of an inter-religious join and hence she was forced to break up. Now she seems very distant but tries to spark up a convo with me once or twice every month or so . We didn’t bother about faiths because ultimately it was about love. However since our breakup there’s been literally nil face to face contact . I wonder if her love is still present or completely gone. Is there something i can do or should be doing ? How do I approach her parents or make them think of me in a positive way?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Sarthak, sorry to hear that. I’m not quite sure how cross cultural marriage works in India or if it’s even allowed at all, but looking at your relationship, love may still be there but the barriers may be too much for both of you at the moment. As you get older, you’ll see that love is not enough to make a relationship work. Also remember that relationships take two to work and eventually it boils down to priority. The decision has to come from her whether she wants to proceed with your relationship or not, but no amount of talking her out of the breakup will likely change that, so really cut off contact and work on yourself now.

      Reply
  107. fatboyt
    fatboyt says:

    hey Brad me and my ex broke up like 2 months ago and already seeing someone else she go away and stay for days at a time now she trying to force me to move out quick even though I told her I was moving I asked her twice to try to work it out and she said no even though I can tell she want to but I think she want me to beg and I told her I wasn’t going to do that . I can tell she an emotional reck fighting with her feeling and I think she mad because I wont ask if she seeing anyone even though I know she is and she know im not stupid I know what it is .I ask no questions and she cant stand it .what are my chances of us getting back together ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, if you take the time to read my Ex Factor Guide, you’ll know better than to talk your ex into getting back together, it just doesn’t work that way. And no, begging is not gonna cut it either. It’s just gonna push her further away. I suggest to go about your life and not letting getting back together become your priority. You have to have things going in your own life and get busy. Get my guide to get the full details, and/or watch my videos, since I think it can help you a lot in your situation. Start by watching this free video on Youtube: How to Act Around Your Ex.

      Reply
  108. jono
    jono says:

    Hi Brad, I met this girl on a decent dating website. We got on well when we met – even though her brother and sis in law was there, which was actually cool because we all got on very well. After a few subsequent evening’s out, we slept together. Great night, except I have a dog that kept jumping on the bed! The following night she contacted me and said that she had been to the doc and it appeared she had a uti. She’s 39 and never had this before. It played on her mind that this was some infection she got from the dog or me. She took meds and it cleared up. A week later i went to her place (didn’t sleep together), but 2 days after the uti reoccurred. The following week she was very funny with me so I was getting insecure. Asked her quite a few times what was up and she said she had a lot on. Went the following weekend for a function thinking she might be breaking up with me and she hardly spoke to me for the whole day, hardly acknowledged me and on questioning just said she had a lot on and when asked if she was ok with me said that she would tell me if she wasn’t. I had a bit to drink and got moody. Her version is that my behaviour was unacceptable and she felt that i was telling her what she could and couldn’t do. Sent her an email saying i was sorry for my insecurities and moody behaviour although i did ask her what had i said or done to indicated i was telling her what to do (she still hasn’t given me answer to that).She sent a reply saying she could only offer friendship. I said no. Then she said that was it then. The following day I sent her a long email telling her that I was actually falling in love with her (this was after 3 months of dating), then gave her a link to uti websites and that any infection couldn’t have come from me or the dog. She didn’t like that. Sent me a harsh reply back. I thanked her for reading my email. Then later she sent another message apologising for the harshness. I said it was ok. That was the last correspondence I had, over a week ago.I haven’t contacted her. Hurts like hell, I was really into her. I know she was into me. Met all her friends and family and got on really well. Was going away with all in Jan as well.Then it just appears that one night totally changed everything, It was not my fault but she can’t understand the uti thing. I dont know if she will contact me even after the no contact rule, because of the uti. I don’t know how to convince her that it’s quite a common thing. What do you suggest I do. Is it worth pursuing? Should i go back onto the dating website in the hope that she sees me on there and her EA kicks in?

    Reply
  109. amir
    amir says:

    Hi dude .
    Me and my exgirlfrined broke up for 3 weeks ago .after the breakup I met her three times and babagged her to come back and give med another chance but she said that aye is tired and she doesn’t want relationship art all ,and she told her friends that if one day she wants relationship she wants to be with me .but after that we met one more time and it didn’t go so well and day after that she wrote for me and asked me if I wanna be her friend and she said that she really likes me and likes my personality ,but I said no and it will never work as friends and I told her that she can give me a call and we can meet if she changes her mind but I have to do other things and continue with my life .
    it has been like 2 weeks I havnt wrote for her,but I talked with her ffriend and when I asked her she said that my ex Gaby told her that she doesn’t want to write for me at all and it was mistake to say that she wanted to be with me some day if she Wants a relationship .
    but the fact is that it’s kinda hard for me that after 1,5 years we broke up and she seems happier and enjoying her life .but I want her back
    I would love to know you opinion of I have any chance on this
    thank you dude

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Amir, this is one of the main reasons why you should cut off contact right away once a breakup happens. Any interaction with an ex shortly will only be dramatic and confusing. Emotions at ths point are raw, so disregard everything that was said after the breakup and look at her actions. Cut off contact for about a month and If she reaches out to you first after all this time, you’ll know she means what she said, but don’t rush it because getting an ex back is a process. Get my guide so you’ll stop doing the wrong things and start doing what’s right. A lot of people find it useful. Good luck!

      Reply
  110. Winter
    Winter says:

    Hi Brad,

    I’ve had dated and lived with my ex bf for almost 4 years. We planned to get married after I finish graduate (4 months from now). We fought many times while I was away to visit my family for three weeks because he barely contacted me. His best friend who he has not seen for 4 years just moved back. He said he wants to go out clubbing and hang out wt his friends and be single. Before I left, everything was okay. Initially, he did not want to break up with me. He said he just wanted me to move out and not talk to him for a month and we will see how it goes. But I contacted him couple times a week and got emotional and said hurtful things to him. He said he does not love me anymore and doesn’t want to talk to me. I left him alone for a week. Then I texted him about our phone bill. He texted me back nicely and seemed happy… What should I do next? Move on or try to get him back??
    It has been about 2 months now since i moved out. We have not actually break contact from each other yet. Will I still have chance to get himm back if I want to?

    Thank you so much for your response in advance!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there, this is why, if you’ve also read my guide or even watched my videos, I always recommend to cut off contact for a full month. It’s to prevent these things from happening. Saying hurtful words, as you already know, does not help your cause. Learn from these mistakes so it won’t happen again — either with him or with someone new. And especially since you broke up because of fights, another argument won’t help because basically what you should be looking at is to make positive memories and omit the negative ones. Cut off contact first because you want to make sure that you give it time to clear your minds first. Watch these videos: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances of Getting Back Together & How to Get Your Ex-boyfriend Back.

      Reply
  111. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Giving space never hurts, dear, especially if you’re having too much drama, which, by the way, you ought to look closely into and see its roots. Ideally problem sshould be talked over and communicated in an mature manner, but if he acts like he’s never wrong and places the blame on you, then that is a red flag. I also see quite a few red flags here, I hope I’m wrong, but I need clarification on some things, so if you want to divulge your information to me and for me to guide you on a regular basis. sign up for my coaching program. Otherwise, you also would want to evaluate if this is a healthy situation for you to be in. Watch the video: If Your Ex the Right Person For You? (5 Ways to Know for Sure) on my Youtube channel. Part of the problem I see is you haven’t really given each other enough space to think things clearly and it seems like you both let your emotions rule you. While it’s a good thing to feel so passionately for someone, you both also have to think clearly here and do the right things, if you want your relationship to last. 🙂 Cutting off contact helps you do that. Talk to you soon!

    Reply
  112. hiilz
    hiilz says:

    hi brad. so i was dating this guy for about three years. we are both 21. i love my ex but he is the type of person who can never admit that he is wrong. he likes to play the victim role and it upsets me. i can be upset at him and somehow the script is flipped and he is mad at me. He has dated other people before but hes my first and maybe that is why im finding it really hard to deal with this. you see as stubborn and hot tempered he is i love him. he is caring and puts so much effort into the things he does for me. when we fight normally we dont talk for a few days and he will be the first to check up on me. but now i told him how hes changed. his friends are the cheating type andi feel like hes been influenced. he was always open with me but now hes cold. we started fighting alot and we tried to get one of his good friends (which i trust and is the good one) to help mediate out issues. we tried something but didint work. he went 3 days without messaging me and said he was busy and was sorry.prior to the mediation we fought and he was saying how his friends thought i didnt love him anymore because i was distant. i become distant when im upset. i dont speak to him at all but its because he chooses to do the same crap i dont like. so when me and my ex talked he was gettin emotional and suggested we break up. i cried and thats when we called his friend. this was early sept. it got to a point that i suggested we start all over and go slow and be friends. with the intention of working on us. i guess a break is what it was. we kept in contact and i still saw him. then i found out two weeks later, so end of sept he went to a party and did things with another girl. i was pissed and deleted him off everything. hes a flirt and that irritates me but this was just to much. he tried to call me but he was blocked. he tied to call me through my brothers phone but hung up on him. he wnt the whole day telling everyone he didnt do anything. on october 2nd we talked and he told me what i think is the partial truth and he was saying you act as i dont love you. the girl doesnt mean anythng to me. (theydid things but didint have sex). i know i say im done with this relationship but maybe ur supposed to be in my life. eventually i walked away and we havent spoken till oct 26. this is because i initiated the conversation. i couldnt stop crying and because he didnt try to contact me so in my mind i was like does he notcare. sorry i know this is long and i have typos but we ended up talking yday b.c i was mad that i wrote a long speech about my feelings and he ignored me for four days. i just dont understand. u say you love me yet u ignore me..as if i did something wrong. am i not seeing something here. please help.

    Reply
  113. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Cupid, there’s simply not enough time to get heads sorted, dear. I highly suggest you read my guide since it can really help you. From what you’ve told me, you’ve made one mistake after another. Stirring up drama won’t get you anywhere as well as constantly contacting him. These could’ve been avoided if you’ve read my guide. 🙂 It looks like you were trying to rush it, and as you can tell, it only leads to more damage and confusion to you both. Cut off contact for a full month and do as I say in this video: How to Get Your Boyfriend Back : 5 Steps to Winning an Ex Back and if you’re still unsure what to do, sign up for my coaching session so I can guide you accordingly. Take care!

    Reply
  114. Cupid
    Cupid says:

    Brad please help! I totally did everything you said NOT to do….Four months ago I broke up with my ex because I felt he was neglecting me ( after reflecting…i see that was wrong). After I realized that it was a mistake I begged and pleaded for him to come back, I did minimal contact but not complete no contact for 2 months(we bickered off and on). Then on the 3rd month we started talking and being “friends” , then he said he wanted to work things out but a day later said that he didn’t…we talked casually for another two weeks and he said he wanted stay open to us maybe working things out…then I got angry and jealous one night over something dumb and told him I was moving on. The next morning I apologized and said we were just friends and he could do whatever he wanted. His response was that he no longer wants to talk and wants to move on and not talk anymore….he even deleted me from fb. Since then I sent a clean slate email trying to say goodbye in a nice way but he responded with slanted comments which really pissed me off, so I sent a hasty mean text and I really regret it. So I texted a goodbye with an apology and its been 7 days of no contact. Im going on dates and trying to follow your tips but is it too late to think we will get back together? Did I do too much damage? How can I know if its too late?

    Reply
  115. Qino
    Qino says:

    Brad, I just started a no contact rule with my girl is it a good idea to deactivate my facebook account and and other networking sites so that I disappear from her during this nc rule? pls suggest.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Qino, yes, anything to keep you from getting her updates because you don’t need that right now. Focus on healing yourself first and trying to reach that cool, calm, collected state of mind before anything else. Good luck!

      Reply
  116. jacob
    jacob says:

    brad ive been following all your instructions word for word, exactly. two 1/2 weeks into no contact. kinda confused on something, i could not keep watching pictures of her jumping out on me on instagram, so i unfollowed her and then she liked one of my confident good looking selfies, and then she unfollowed me ,i did the whole “hide her facebook” still friends on facebook, ive just been over thinking this one, should i add her back? im sure she feels upset

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Jacob, I can see that she’s doing the push-and-pull thing on you, don’t let it affect you too much. Girls are weird creatures, they start chasing you once they see you slip away, and while this is not really a sign that she wants you back (yet), continue doing the right things and ignore her. Don’t play into her confusion unless you both want to be confused because it might lead into a fight. 🙂 You’ll understand better if you watch this video: How to Make Your Ex Chase You ; so let her chase you while you heal. Make sure you reach out AFTER a month of no contact. Watch my other videos for that. Otherwise, I would recommend my Ex Factor Guide so you won’t be left questioning what to do next. Take care!

      Reply
  117. kyle
    kyle says:

    Hey Brad, this one is a toughie. My GF and I have been together for 5 years, 1 of which I was the affair guy in her marriage. She left him, and for another year, I was the stand by guy. She commited to me fully for 3 1/2 years. We moved in together 7 months ago. She went out of town 5 months ago and thought I had an affair. It looked bad but I was loyal. Then I came home a month ago to her having an affair on me.. I caught her red handed, completely blew my cool, Huge fight, name calling, kicked her out of the house. She won’t talk to me for 5 days, I did the lets figure this out, she said she needed space.. I didn’t give it to her.. Now we have broke up but she says our love has changed for the time being, but she still loves me very much. She is the love of my life and so I did a lot of bad stuff.. Crying, pleading, begging.. To the point she said I was starting to annoy her. I’ve backed off completely now and am now going to try the jealousy tactic and the silent treatment.. I have a female friend willing to play the part of GF and a male friend willing to ask her whats up, why are all these girls hitting on me now. I’m friends on facebook still, and I’m now beginning to use it to try and make her jealous.. I hope I’m doing it right.. She says she wants to be friends in the future but right now she is too mad she says. It was an emotional affair she said. It’s een one week since I’ve had to talk to her, and we had to sort out house stuff, and she cried. Do I have a chance?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Kyle, it may be too soon to be jumping into conclusions now, so you just want to make sure that you do the right things and give her space completely — this will also show that you respect her. It doesn’t hurt to see if this relationship is really right for you either, so watch this: Is Your Ex the Right Person For You? (5 Ways to Know For Sure) Your aim right now should be to recover and let her miss you — your ex may need to do the same. Cutting off contact also lets you both think clearly again, so it is always beneficial. Be careful with using jealousy techniques and not make it like an “in-your-face” type because it can backfire and will only fuel her anger. I posted a video on this as to how to make it subtle, so visit my Youtube channel to get some tips. These tips are based on the book I wrote, the Ex Factor Guide, so you may consider getting that as well. Good luck!

      Reply
  118. Grace
    Grace says:

    Hi Brad. I think I might be in trouble. My boyfriend and I broke up last sept.14 after three months of being in a long distance relationship. It started when he was not contacting me for almost a month and I confronted him through text saying that he needs to clarify if there was still an “us”. He said that he really did love me but he can’t love me as much as I love him because he is still in love with his ex. I accepted that and broke up with him and tried my best to move on. I even said that we could still be friends since I did not want to hold some grudges. I Never texted him since.Surprisingly, he texted me five days later and asked how I was and calling me “friend”. I replied and we started to communicate with each other again.. we even flirted with each other. Eventually, we decided to be ex with benefits and I’m anxious because when we see each other again in December it will be revolving around sex..and only sex. He said that he and his ex before me got back together but he was so willing to have sex with me despite of that because he misses it so much. I agreed to him for the same reason and also a part of me wants him back. Am I doing the right thing? Please help me. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Grace, I’m sorry to hear that. Your intention of wanting to be friends is good, however, I wouldn’t really recommend being friends right away after a breakup. You see, human emotions can’t be switched on or off and this will only likely kill your chances of getting back together in the future. Reading your message further, I can see that you do want him back, so in this case, use the tips I’ve made on this video: How to Escape Your Ex’s Friendzone Sleeping with him won’t get him back. If anything, you’re in danger of being taken for granted and getting friendzoned — you don’t want that. The worst case scenario is he’ll use you to get over his ex through sex. While this is good for him, it is not the same thing for you — unless you’re willing to settle with friends with benefits forever, while taking the precaution I’ve mentioned in mind. I suggest to give him space to let him miss you and think about his decision. Let him feel what it’s like not to have you in his life. Again, keeping in touch is a mistake. Watch this: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances These are just tidbits of information, but nevertheless helpful. If you want to know what to do moving forward, I suggest you get my Ex Factor Guide where everything is laid out and you won’t be left questioning what to do next. Take care! Check out my guide here: http://www.BreakupBrad.com

      Reply
  119. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    You’re welcome, Adam. I also have a lot of helpful tips on Youtube, so check that out as well. Your other option is to get my Ex Factor Guide or sign up for my coaching program for a specific advice specific based on your situation and other factors. Anyway I’m sorry you’re going through this. It seems like there has been a lot of fights lately with your ex and time and space is just what you both need to sort it out. I understand what you mean about working on the problem together, but depending on your situation, sometimes, or should I say, most of the time, it’s best to let some time pass for you both to cool your heads off before talking again — because it only leads to arguing. The cycle has to be broken so you can wipe the slate clean as well as determine the issues as well. Another issues I see is the communication style. In the future, try to find ways to communicate effectively with him to resolve conflicts together before it all piles up and becomes a problem. My advice is to continue with your therapy and strive for self improvement as this will benefit you in the long run. Getting an ex back takes time and patience. For now, I really believe you both need to cut off communication first to get rid of negativity and to heal. Watch this free full-length video on my website so you can see the importance of cutting off communication can help: http://www.BreakupBrad.com

    Reply
  120. Adam
    Adam says:

    I still do love him and there´s a voice in my heart that he still does, too. I just dont think that he has been attentive to my sensitivities as I would have only wished him to be honest and transparent about everything… I even started with theraphy now but the fact that he will just walk away instead of taking care of the problem together leaves me puzzled.

    Reply
  121. Adam
    Adam says:

    Hi Brad! Thank you for providing insightful info thru your site. My bf broke up with me 3 weeks ago for the second time in 2 years (11 months of no see no talk in between) due to my insecurities. It was him who initiated the contact again after he dumped me for the fist time. We started over with a clean slate but a few months into the relationship, I caught him texting to another guy who was evidently flirting with him which broke my heart and put me back in the insecure state again. We had a 45 day trip this summer spending 24/7 together visiting another country which was romantic and exciting except some natural small quarrels. But during the trip I also found out that he hosted one of his ex casual encounter at my place for dinner who is supposedly a friend for him (I gave my ex the keys to my place and trusted him with the house, letting him stay there for 3 weeks while I was gone before 45 day trip). He kept all of this as a secret, fearing about my reaction thinking I´d freak out if I found out… Well, I came back to my place 1 week after him where he was still staying and found my house trashed and got totally pissed off. I made a bad joke saying I should go check the cam them as he denied knowing what happened to the house and he used it against me thinking that´s how I found out about the dinner… and he dumped me. I tried texting and calling… he said I am not ready for a relationship due to my insecurities. What do I do?

    Reply
  122. Akosua
    Akosua says:

    Hi brad,I did something really bad a year ago.i had two boyfriends nd even though it was bad my idea was to choose but I was taking my time in doing so.my ex bf as of now hacked into my phone and saw my messages,at first he broke up with me then he asked me to choose at which I chose him.we were in a distant relationship.as at the time I left everything was ok till he started getting trust issues with me,he broke up with me again and I begged we came back.when I thought we were working our way to success he broke up with me again saying he can’t trust me again and he doesn’t know what m doing here considering the other guy was where I am.i love this guy and I know he loves me too.m applying the no contact rule hoping he comes back because he is my one and I don’t want to loose him.did I do the right thing please help.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Akosua, what steps have you taken to resolve the situation? One barrier that I see in this situation is your boyfriend might have felt betrayed by this and is now struggling to forgive you, so make sure that you offer one sincere apology and leave it at that. Don’t overdo it because doing so might just give the opposite of what you’re expecting, so give it time as well so he can recover from this blow and get over the negativity — not necessarily the relationship. Trust, as you already know, is something that is earned and needs to be built back up, but you shouldn’t be focusing on that now as of yet. Give him time to forgive you after you make your apology. Watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYXBzltbx1E&list=UUhCFbthWQF4MKA-43SCDB9g Never push for contact or pressure him to forgive you right away because he needs his peace of mind right now. In the mean time, make your time productive by working on yourself and deciding if this relationship is really right for you as well. That way, you’ll have no regrets as far as your choice goes. Make sense? Consider signing up for my coaching program so you can tell me your situation and I can guide you on a regular basis. http://www.BreakupBrad.com/Coaching

      Reply
  123. Jared Falterman
    Jared Falterman says:

    My girlfriend broke up with me september 3rd, 1 day before our 1 year anniversary, she is the jealous type and said she will never get back together again, we were engaged already and it hurts me knowing that the love of my life is just a friend now 🙁 i want her back so badly and im madly and passionatley in love with her, please help before its too late

    Reply
  124. mike
    mike says:

    hi Brad my girlfriend of nearly 5 years has finished with me last night because she doesnt know how she feels right now and doesnt feel that excitement towards me lately she also stated thats she needs to be on her own to see if she really needs me or not. The last few months ive been a bit lazy and havent been showing much affection, until the last 2 weeks i realised in myself i need to change and been making a big effort…but now its to late. she says she knows she loves me and im the perfect boyfriend and “really hopes she misses me” right now im in a complete state, heart is shattered and dont know what to do.I know for a fact i wont contact her because i know its one of the only ways i can get her to miss me and remember whats it like to be without me. some professional advice would be very grateful

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Mike, I’m sorry to hear that. Most of the time, though, people never give their exes the real reason why, it’s just human nature. Check out my Youtube channel because I have an explanation for this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6IX-pUnGZQ&list=UUhCFbthWQF4MKA-43SCDB9g Whatever the case, it does seem like she’s showing that she needs some space in the relationship, so make sure that you give her exactly that. Do not try to talk, plead, beg, cry, etc. or send her gifts as this will only lead create more problems. This is based on my experience as a relationship coach and from personal experience as well. People don’t want a needy or desperate boyfriend, so show her that you are independent and that you respect her decision. Show her, do not talk to her, which means again, you have to cut off contact for about a month and work on yourself and your goals. This might seem a surprise to you, but to understand this better, I suggest you visit my website and watch the free in-depth video presentation about how giving her space will definitely make her miss you — which is exactly what she needs. http://www.BreakupBrad.com

      Reply
  125. pearl
    pearl says:

    Brad, I cnt stop thinking about him. I dumped him but now I regret because he has now stopped the communication. Its been 5 days now.without a word from him. I called him yesterday but to no avail. I dont know if I should just give up and move on but I still want him now im the one who initiated the break up bt he said nothing at about it

    Reply
    • pearl
      pearl says:

      I did all of this out of pain because sometimes I feel that im putting more effort in our relatioship and he is just too relaxed. I also feel like I love him more than he loves me with such I ended up
      cheating on him and I got caught then he forgav me though he never said it but things went back to normal again until this past sunday when it all started again with him annoying me and I got hurt and dumped him then a day later he texted me saying he is not surprised that im dumping him because he knows iv got a bf(the one I cheated him with him) I got deeply hurt and I ignored his message he texted again on tuesday saying he needs me.to accomodate him that night as he is going on a bussiness meeting but I did not respond again and he assumed I was with another guy. I love my ex but he cant see that. I shiw him in all the ways. Since yhen on tues he stopped texting I called he ddnt answer now I dont even knoe whether he has accepted the break up I have initiated or not. Cant stop crying

      Reply
      • Brad Browning
        Brad Browning says:

        Hello Pearl, if you broke up with him, then I assume it’s fairly for a good reason, but cheating on him is never a solution though. In the future, try to see if you can talk a problem out instead of resorting to extremes. Anyway it seems like you are confused with what you really want, so I suggest that you take some time off for yourself (I usually recommend about a month) to figure out whether this relationship was right for you in the first place. Taking time away also helps you to see things on a better perspective and become realistic about love and relationships so it’s never bad. 🙂 It also lets you ensure that you’re in a relationship for the right reasons which is a very important component if you want any relationship to last. If you need my help on self improvement and how to be the best partner you can be in a relationship, then you can sign up for my coaching program http://www.BreakupBrad,com/Coaching Otherwise, check out my Youtube videos as I have a lot of tips there that people find useful. Take care!

        Reply
  126. Danielle
    Danielle says:

    Brad , I need your help badly!! My ex and broke up on the very LAST day of middle school and we haven’t seen each other since. It was mutual and it was because of cheating and lies. We had our first day of school and we have 4 out of 8 classes together, but every time I see him, I panic and act disrespectfully, but you see, I WANT to get back together with him. I know, it’s bad. PLEASE HELP!! From,
    Danielle

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Danielle, I think you can benefit from subscribing to my Youtube channel as I have a lot of helpful tips there including how to behave around your ex. If you want a shot to have him back, don’t be rude. Also do not act out of panic or fear as I can almost guarantee you it won’t get you anywhere. 🙂 Granted, if you’re still very emotional around him, then lean on to your friends for support and try to avoid him like the plague until you begin to heal. Good luck!

      Reply
  127. Julien
    Julien says:

    Hey Brad,I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 months about a week and a half ago. I really felt she was the ONE because we had so much and common and the most amazing time together. Like never before and i have dated plenty of girls. She started getting distant and I called her out on it which led to an argument which led to us breaking up. I dont get how one minute she was crazy about me to I dont wanna be with you anymore. She text me once since the break up asking me if I was ok I didnt answer…she said I was the best boyfriend she ever had…so why would she ruin it??????? Im in no contact for the forseeable future..Im so CONFUSED!!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Julien, let her sort out her own feelings first without your influence, so you’re doing the right thing by cutting off contact. Continue to do so for about a month and/or until you’re sure that you’ve recovered and have become cool and collected. Let her miss you and know what it’s like not to have you in her life. If she meant what she said about you being the best boyfriend she ever had, then she’ll come around sooner or later. At this time, you both need to heal and calm down.

      Reply
  128. Coraline
    Coraline says:

    Hey Brad I need your help/opinion. So me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years nearly 5 years and we broke up about a week ago as he decide to study in America for 4 years, I suggested the long distance relationship as he was planning to come back to visit every year and communication wouldn’t be an issue. Although he didn’t want to try a long distance relationship as he said it wouldn’t work and it wouldn’t be the same, he’s asked if we could still be friends which I’ve agreed to, we still talk he says he misses me and its hard for him… I do miss him but I’ve come to reality that its ended and that we’ve taken different paths as much as it hurts to say. My question is do you think I did the right thing… what would you do? what should I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Coraline, when this kind of thing happens, relationships become more challenging than usual indeed, so I understand how you feel. From what I’ve gathered, there seems to be a clash in terms of how you should be moving forward. He seems entirely convinced that a long distance relationship won’t work while you think the opposite. Of course, nobody can really tell the outcome just yet unless you try. You both seem to have a pretty solid foundation built, which is a plus and can help you with this challenge. I don’t think being friends with him right after a breakup is a good move, though. People just don’t change feelings that quick, like there’s a switch or something. 🙂 Now knowing this fact, my advice is for you to cut off communication first for about three weeks to a month. Make him miss you. This will let him reconsider if staying broken up is good for him or not, because believe me, he will miss you as much as you miss him. The important thing to remember is to stay strong through all this and use this time to heal and recover and really let him feel what it’s like not to have you in his life. Check out my Youtube videos and watch how cutting off contact can benefit you here:

      Reply
  129. taylor
    taylor says:

    hi brad my gf of 2yrs and 2weeks broke up aug 11i forgot out 2yr anniversary a month b4 she told me she wanted a husky, house,or ring i had the ring picked and was spending every spare penny i had on it. then on aug1 she said we needed to take a break i freaked out and went to talk to her we got very emotional and she confessed to cheating on me with my best friend at his sitters wedding a yr ago i told her that hurt me but i still loved her so she stayed gone 3 days and then came home everything was going good she told me she could see i was working on some stuff she said needed to change we were intamate for 5nights and then on friday i got off work and i went to a friend house she was there in knew i was coming and seemed excited then when i got there she was acting weird and her 2 friends were giving me the eyes and giggle so i asked her if she was ready to go home she told me she was going to stay there so i ask her to come outside and talk to me i ask what was wrong and she wouldn’t tell me then she just said that her feeling had changed so i went home. 2 days b4 we broke up her best friend broke up with her man who is a good friend of mine and asked if she could invite her ex husband over to hang out i said hell no you conniving b**tch(she is the poster child for them) well 24hrs later my gf is leaving i know her best friend hates me so feel that if it was left to me and my gf we could work this out . the no contact was killing me and bc she is on my phone plan i released that she was talking to another man (that i know) so i set up an alert to tell me when they texted or called and it notified her so now she is really mad i just want her back i love her and i know she loves me but her best friend is never going to get out of her head and i feel i may never get her bak with her around

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Taylor, take some “timeout” from all this and cut off contact for about a month. You see, when you operate from a place of fear, chances are you will send that vibe out and your ex can sense it. I know you love her, but if you continue to be devoted to her when she’s already signs of being flaky, chances are you’d only get hurt in the end. So show some independence and show her that you can live without her (even though it feels like the opposite at the moment). Stop tracking what she’s doing and who’s influencing her, this will not do you any good, believe me. If you are to have her back, you’ve got to make sure that she respects you and is afraid of losing you, instead of the other way around.

      Reply
  130. Attila
    Attila says:

    Congrats Brad, this is the most frequently updated forum in the relationship “industry”, with most answers from author. I’ve just came here to thank you for your material.
    My girlfriend of 4,5 years(total soulmates, each other’s ideal for 4 years) broke up with me in July after 2 months from engagement, because of my ignorance, and external circumstances(hard time in college, shit talk from her friends, etc, and probably got scared of commitment, which is kinda funny, cause she teased me all the time about when I shall propose to her) and moved from me. First of course I have made the usual mistakes by promising I can change and so on, but as you could guess it didn’t help much.
    So I bought your stuff, and it was really great-great-great help for building myself from the ruins. Currently I’m applying semi no-contact, because we have a dog in common, and because of my job it’s hard to take care of it alone, but I’m doing my best to keep things casual(first meeting after break-up on next Tuesday, has to give her dog for a couple of days). Thanks to your theories I’ve built myself to the level, where I’m not really bothered with a probable rebound she is dating with. Tricky part is my upcoming birthday on Sunday, I’m really curious if she will reach out, or just remain silent, as so far.
    To be honest I wish I never needed your materials at first, but the mental “evolution” it gave me is priceless, regardless of the outcome of future events. Keep up the godd work, you give hope to many-many monogamic, romantic idiots like me! 🙂

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Attila, messages like these makes me happy! 🙂 I’m glad you’ve used all the resources you can to help yourself and that I’ve been a part of it in some way. So, thank you and advanced Happy Birthday, by the way. From the looks of it, you now have every tool you need to get you moving forward, and I’m truly happy for you. Just let time do its thing and keep an open perspective while at the same time, working on yourself and following my guide. Remember, your ex is not the center of your universe, so it doesn’t really matter if she greets you on your birthday or not. Appreciate the things you have in your life instead of focusing on what’s not. Positive thoughts bring positive things and it may not come in the way we expect it to, but as long as you keep your thoughts positive, good things will come your way sooner or later. Have a good one on your birthday and party like a rockstar! 🙂

      Reply
  131. Jim
    Jim says:

    Hi Brad . Yesterday I found and watched almost all your videos about these techniques of how to get your ex back. I can say I almost did everything right, apart i was sending couple of messages the first 3 days of questions why did we break up. I cleared to her it’s not about of being together but i did want to know the reason because she didnt give me a clear answer in the first place. (not to mention i was a bit angry in some of my messages so i figured out that if she wanted to send me anything she would probably think it twice before.) After that i let 3 weeks or so to pass and contacted her again telling her that ”sometimes in the nights i feel depressed and her appereance in my life would help (by the way our relationship was a long distance one and yes i’ve watched your video about that”). She asked me ”why dont I find any other girl to talk all day long” and stuff like that or that ”if we talk You wouldnt like it”. (those texts was via facebook) But later she did the move to call me and she was sweet on the phone (we talked about 1:30 hour no matter if i wanted to end the conversation earlier to not reach to the emotional part) , same next day , she texted me on facebook asking me something silly (obviously wanted to start a conv with me i guess) and later she asked me again to talk to the phone, again she was sweet and she was positive in all my ”tests” of attraction, she was very positive but she told me the reason she broke up with me was because her father (divorced before years with her mom) was threaten her about the relationship he found out she got with me. He is a drug user and mentally sick (not my words). So she scared enough after that and got this decision.She also said ”maybe i was in rush when i got that decision” but she stills ”don’t know about being together. By the way i still havent found the power to go out and make enough things for myself only some walks etc. What should be my next steps? Please help.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Jim, I recently posted a video which I’m not sure you’ve watched. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m27TLeyUmwg Check that video out as it helps you evaluate your relationship. With eveything said and done, your next step is to really think about the relationship from an objective point of view. This means considering the facts of your situation and watching if the problems that exist can be solved or not. Remember, be objective about this in putting things in perspective. Feelings are not enough to make a relationship work, so you have to be realistic as to what the problems are and whether your ex is willing to compromise and meet you halfway or not. Wait for her to contact you first and wait until she brings up the topic of the relationship and talk whether you can move forward together or go your separate ways.

      Reply
  132. MissingHim
    MissingHim says:

    Hi Brad,

    Thank you for the article. It’s been very helpful.

    My ex and I recently broke up (we’ve only been together for close to two months), largely because I was going through a pretty rough patch in my professional life and was taking out a lot of my stress on him by constantly initially break ups and accusing him of cheating. After this happened several times, he got very angry and took my words seriously, and slept with another woman during that weekend we were “broken up” and didn’t speak to each other. But he told me what happened two days later, aplogized for his immaturity and insisted that he wanted to be with me. But being as hurt and emotional as I was at the moment, I gave him an ultimatum: either he shows me his phone so I can see that this was a one time thing, or we are over. He stormed out in the middle of our conversation, refused to answer my calls/texts and ignored me when I waited out his door for two hours to apologize. We’ve exchanged a few texts since then but it’s mostly been me writing him 5 or 6long ones before he responds, saying that he didn’t hate me or blame me, but that he just can’t deal with the anxiety I brought upon him. Now he’s saying he can’t consciously make the decision for us to get back together, despite how much I tried to apologize and insist it won’t happen again. He said it was unlikely for him to change his mind within a reasonable timeframe and that it would hurt me to wait on him to make the decision. I really care about this man and I want us to work. Is there anything I can do to patch things up or did I kill our relationship for good?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there and you’re welcome! There’s no definite answer as to whether it’s over for good or not, but in this case, it’s best to consider it as such. Either way, I can tell that there’s just too much drama going on and you both need to take some time away from each other to get over the negativity and hopefully reach a better, calmer/peaceful state of mind. Understand that interacting with each other while emotions are high will only likely lead to more fights/arguments and that’s what you want to avoid at this point. Give him space for about three weeks to a month. Watch my Youtube videos as there are a lot of things you can learn on there or if you want a more focused approach to your situation, then you may consider signing up for my coaching program.

      Reply
  133. Jules
    Jules says:

    Hey Brad, here’s one nobody had been able to solve so far. I met the girl of my dreams 2yrs ago in Australia, I’m from Canada and she from Ireland. We traveled in a car all over in Australia and had tons of fun and amazing times, we fought while times were tough (living in a car). I was jealous sometimes ( i know..weak) and said hurtful things when we fought but I’m not all to blame. She came to Canada and met my family and they all loved her, we went back to Australia together for a few months then she stayed and I went back home. She met an old guy friend from Ireland out in Australia and gave him a job and then they lived together for 3 months insisting that nothing happened while the whole time her being suddenly unsure about being in a relationship with me and barely ever communicating, honestly everyday was the worst day of my life. But i somehow convinced her to stay with me, flew back to Australia and continued traveling, her showing she was very in love with me the whole time and said I’m the love of her life. we difficultly parted ways for me back home and her in ireland, a month later she admitted to cheating on me when i was in canada and her in australia but apparently just once with a random guy and it was just a huge mistake, i forgave her but she immediately turned to the same pattern of not being interested anymore again for 3 months then broke up with me a week ago. since this happened I havent had a job and have been mostly just in my bed for the last 3 months. Please help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Jules, I can understand that you’re having a hard time coping with this, and I’m sorry to hear that, but at this point, I want to emphasize how important it is not to let yourself go. Try as much as you can to get the courage and strength each day to go about your daily life such as work, which is really important, and giving importance to your health as well. Cutting off contact should let you do that and shift the focus back to yourself. It’s also important to not let this relationship become your entire life. If you had and if you still do, then you might be in it for the wrong reasons, so don’t fall into that kind of trap. You are in a relationship with someone to share their life with them and not make it your only source of happiness. Make sense? Anyway, be sure to cut off contact completely and do not talk to her unless you’re in a better and calmer state of mind. Understand that nobody but you can get yourself out of the rut you’re falling into, be strong, you can do it! 🙂 Watch the videos on my Youtube channel as there are a lot of tips on there that you could use.

      Reply
  134. craig
    craig says:

    Hey brad, I had a big fight with my girlfriend over a month ago and the day after i have been giving the “no Contact” we had a big fight that was over due the situation was going to burst out and it finally happend that day, she was pregnant at the time and she gave birth to my daughter in the no contact period and I still haven’t heard a word nor a text or phone call after she gave birth she won’t talk or see me and her family are heavily involved as they don’t like me and don’t want us to be together ino she loved me I’ll say that but her family have cut her off from me and theres no way of me contacting her without knocking on there house with might result in a heated argument if her family are present there perswaying her to leave me for good and move on ” into that for sure” her friend told me on the phone that she dusn want me back and that she has kissed another guy but her friend is very troublesome and tends to stir up situations and lie a lot I don’t know weather to be leave it or not or weather shes finally done with me , she contacted me once during the 1 month and 2 weeks from the day of the fight saying ‘who’s kissing who?’ And I replied giving the friends name and got no reply, she’s been putting stuff on Facebook to try & make me jealous its been over a month and I’m starting to think her family have her on there side and conviced her to move on, we are both 19 and wore with each other over 3 years we had a good loving a trust worthy relationship we loved eacther so much and one day she just stopped talking to me ” day after fight” I don’t know what to do I feel stuck in a situation that I don’t know how to change or get her to contact me , I sent her one text after the first 2 weeks saying don’t contact me again witch I regret she won’t let me see my daughter due to her family not wanting me around but after a month my mind is starting to think is she gone for good she was my first love and I was her first love to I want her back so bad but don’t know how she feels due to not talking and people putting bad things in her head about me how do I change this I’m desperate and also want to see my daughter???

    Reply
  135. Ntombie
    Ntombie says:

    I need advice. My ex boyfriend and I were dating for 15months, we are 30yrs old. When I met my ex bf,he was so loving,loyal,romantic and always wanted to be with me. He loved my 3 year old son as if he was his, we had our challenges and I discovered that he was a bit insensitive and selfish. We moved in together after 11months of dating. Our arguments were about photos of his ex which he kept on his phone and pc. He didn’t see why he had to delete them and that made me upset. We spoke about marriage and having a baby together and he told me how fond his parents were of me and his grandmother. I was very happy even though we had our arguments,I trusted him. In December 2013,my dad visited us with my son and my ex kept making excuses as if he wasn’t ready to meet my dad and when I asked him to spend Christmas at his parents house , he didn’t want to instead he told me he wants to get to know my dad. We all got along quite well that December and both his parents visited us and they seemed to like my dad and my son (who were visiting us for 2weeks) On New Years eve,my dad,my ex and myself lit firecrackers celebrating the New Year! He kissed me and told me he loved me but I was worried because I felt like he was keeping something from me. After my son&my dad left in January 2014, we had an argument because he was complaining about minor things(noise that my son made,that he didn’t have much to talk about with my dad,etc) mind you my dad was the one talking to him making conversations always. Still I stood by him and loved him. He then left the weekend after my dad&son left,saying he needed time alone to think. On Saturday morning he left and as he was leaving: I told him I loved him but his response tore me : He said ‘Thanks’ and left,when I phoned him that night he didn’t answer and he came back Sunday night and found me in the sitting room watching tv but he just sat there and didn’t say anything.I realised then he had an affair but didn’t want to confront him so I just left him and went to bed. The next day while he was showering, I went through his phone and found messages and pictures of him and the other girl. I was shattered and broke his aeroplane (toys he built) we argued and fought and he defended this other woman and he even phoned her while I was in the house.I’d swear at him and break anything that was his in the house , his parents wanted me to stay with them but I declined. I moved into the guest room and he didn’t stop me. In March 2014,I moved out ! By this time he had left me in the house as we were constantly fighting! I saw him last month and sometimes he texts me but I really can’t forget the good times we shared! My son really likes him but he’s still pursuing the other woman and I know it sounds stupid but I still love him. I want to avoid / ignore him.Please give me advice on what to do to get him to leave that woman and come back to me! He’s admitted to missing the times we shared and he even helped me move into my new place! Does he still love me? When I ask him if he wants me,he responds saying : ‘Honey,its a bit difficult to say’ ?? I am so confused,its been 6months now since I pushed him to finally break up with me! But I still feel heartache!

    Reply
  136. nice
    nice says:

    My fiance broke up with me almost 8 months now, he broke up with me because he said I am strangling him too much… I confess I am a jealous type person but I am being that way because I love him too much and I was so scared of losing him… Just when I was about to deliver our baby he broke up with me.. It started early august when I saw on his iphone on the history browsed facebook he was searching and looking for the pictures of a girl I asked him why he is doing that especially we will have a baby and that he never did that before but he said it was been searched not by him but by his officemate I tried to trust him but there is that feeling that I am not comfortable with so I asked his co-worker if he knows that certain girl and he said yes and that he was sorry if he used my fiance’s iphone but that strange feeling didn’t go away after that and he was beginning to act on a very strange way, he was beginning to get cold on me so I was nervous very very nervous and try to approach him about what I felt but he was angry always so I just cried myself everyday (I was pregnant by then) then one time I felt the urge to make up a story to catch him if he was telling the truth about that girl I told him that someone has been texting me and making up emails about how he is courting and seeing that girl… he got mad and kept on telling me that he don’t know that girl and that he is not cheating me, after a couple of days he broke up with me, I tried to beg him not to but he said he was sorry but he needs to, so I don’t have anything to do but to let him go, but when I was to give birth he was nowhere to be seen and after a couple of months I found out that the girl that I was jealous of became his gf and what he really hurt is that I found out that they became in relationship exactly the day that I am delivering our baby, the girl knew about it and I don’t know if she did that on purpose. Now his mother took me and my child on their home and his family wants us to get back with each other but apparently it is difficult because he still is in that girl and that everytime that girl text or call him he was too excited and goes to her and every friday he will not go home but rather go to the girl and goes home the day after sometimes he goes home always late. I really love him so much and I want us to get back together because of our baby too, and his mother and grandfather wants us back together but we don’t know how to do that because of the girl, I am doing some actions that his mother suggested me to do like take care of him, I ironed his uniforms, took care of him when he was sick (he was too sick that day, I massaged him and did everything to take care of him but when his gf called he suddenly rushed right to her even if he still feels so bad) his mother told me to do everything to make him see that I am much worthy than his new gf but I don’t know how to do it. Sometimes he is too snobby and seems like avoiding me. I am so confused right now and don’t know what to do, I want him back so badly because his new gf won’t take care of him the way I did before and still doing now, she only cares about her self I can see it (we can see it) because my ex is so thin right now and so sickly and he is not that person before, now he seems to be always angry, uncomfortable and sometimes becoming disrespectful to his mom and grandfather. I really am confused because there is that one time that spoke to my mother and on his grandfather and mother too that he wants to live with me,marry me but my attitude is what bothers him that only if I change he might or he will get back to me. But his actions are far on what he has said on his mother and grandfather as well as on my mother. It is really confusing right now because his actions for that girl is not like on what he is saying that he wants to have the rest of his life with me. Please what should I do…

    Please help me please… I want him back with me and love him the way he loved me before…I need your help so badly…please

    Reply
  137. Jane
    Jane says:

    Hey Brad, me and my boyfriend were together for a year but he broke it off and suggested we stay friends and continued to text me. We both have severe anxiety and depression and I told him that there was no way we would be able to be friends anytime soon and that i wasn’t going to talk to him anymore. I’ve gotten rid of his phone number and all the presents he gave me but honestly it was so sudden I don’t know how to react and he told me he was very upset about breaking up but didn’t want to take me back any time soon, but someday in the future if we both wanted to try again he was up for it. But I still have very strong feelings for him and am ready to cut him out of my life for a while to recover and rest but I’m worried because of his anxiety and depression, he only has like two friends since most his friends were through me and I’m worried he might hurt himself or something while we aren’t talking. I don’t want him to do anything terrible we just needed a break and he is the one who ended it but I really don’t know how he will cope with having no one to talk to for a month considering he seemed to assume I wanted to be friends with him even though he broke my heart. What do I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Jane, I understand your concern. Know, however, that he is responsible for his decision of breaking up with you and since he initiated it, the consequences of him not being able to reach out to you –for reasons you’ve stated — is on him. Use the space to your advantage to heal as well, you’re already on the right track on this. Make him miss you and make him realize what it’s like for him not to have you in his life. If he truly cared for you and truly loved you, he would come running back sooner or later as in most cases. So focus on yourself for now and nobody else. 🙂

      Reply
  138. Kim
    Kim says:

    Hi,
    My boyfriend and I were together for 3 years. He broke up with me about a month ago because he was unhappy and felt overwhelmed by the seriousness of the relationship and me. I got a little too dependent on him and didn’t realize it at the time. I was devastated when he broke up with me and the couple times I saw him while getting his things from my apt I cried a lot. About 3 weeks later, he came over to pick up his router (we never did no contact we had to communicate to get bills sorted out in each other’s names but would go a few days at a time not communicating), this time when he came over I was calm and relaxed and it somehow got him to stay for a couple hours and talk and we laughed and joked like normal. Then I made a joke about us being “friends with benefits” and he was on the fence about it, but then I started to seriously suggest it, but still in a joking way. He agreed to trying it, but being non committal. We are not in a relationship. We can hang out and hook up if we feel like it. If we become interested in other people we are free to act on it (we will let each other know before hand). We also both have no interest in pursuing anyone else. He says he does not want a relationship right now, but I feel like he is just afraid of it being how it was before, just overwhelmingly serious. I do not want that at all. However I do want to be in a committed relationship with him because we do obviously love each other. I want it to be not so crazy serious and instead light hearted and fun (how it should have been) I don’t know what to do. We have hooked up 3 times (just this week) and we always hang out before and/or it happens. How do I get him to want to be back in a real relationship with me? I know he is worried about it being really serious right away and he has work and school both full time, but I am willing to work around that and still give him space for whatever he wants to do. Please help me. I love him very much and cannot stand the idea of really losing him. How do I get him back? Please, please help me. I’m losing my mind.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Give him time and space to come to terms with whatever he’s feeling. I normally suggest you do the same, but if you can meet him without the situation turning into a huge drama, then that’s good. The thing is, you need to give him time to miss you too and make him realize what he has lost. If he doesn’t feel that he’s lost you, then I’m afraid — this is true in many cases — that you’ll end up in the back burner while he continues doing his own thing and possibly be sooner or later be dating someone else. So it’s your choice and I suggest you thread carefully and look at what’s happening from a larger perspective. If you continue seeing him, however, you’re on the right track to keep the conversations fun and lively and never to bring up the subject of your relationship.

      Reply
  139. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Sarah, the clue to this situation is already in what you’ve written. You said it was his decision to not invite you. Respect his wishes and respect yourself to not put yourself in a situation where he’s showing that he doesn’t need you. I’m sorry to be so blunt but if that happens, then I usually suggest my clients to “mirror” what he’s doing. This indicates his need for space so show him that you are independent and can in fact, live a happy life without him — although I know you don’t feel like it. Breakups are never easy, but you’ll get through it. You can send him a text message for his birthday but nothing else and make sure to let the message only be a greeting. Avoid talking about the relationship within this period.

    Reply