What To Do When Your Ex Is Dating Someone New (And You Want Them Back)
So you broke up with your ex and you’re heartbroken.
You’re struggling to figure out where it all went wrong… and you’re thinking about what you can do to reverse your mistakes.
And just as you feel like you’ve formulated a plan, you see something on social media that makes your heart sink like a rock… you find out that your ex is seeing someone else…
All of a sudden an overwhelming feeling of sadness and pain consumes you… and you think that there’s nothing that you can do.
At this point, you’re probably feeling more panicked than ever.
All you want to do is just write your ex an email or text… something that will convince them that they’re making a big mistake and that leaving what you had behind would be a massive loss.
But… before you pick up your cell phone and write your ex a novel of a message, play it cool.
If you’re here, you must already know that this is the absolute last thing you want to do.
So how do you get over this incredible pain? How do you move on? And what are your next immediate steps to get your ex back into your arms?
Before we get into some hard-hitting information, the FIRST thing you need to do is… to close your eyes. I’m not trying to get all hippy and zen on you, but trust me, just follow along with me.
Just close your eyes right now and take 3 DEEP breaths…
I promise that if you do this with me right now… you’ll feel the pain in your chest begin to subside and you will feel 10 times better.
Just focus and concentrate on your breathing… making sure that your breaths are full and deep. Focus on how relaxing this feels.
Again, and I can’t say this enough, the number one reason people don’t get their ex back under my supervision is because they DON’T follow my advice to a tee.
Don’t Give In And Reach Out To Your Ex
I know every single fibre in your body right now is telling you to call your ex, text your ex, and BEG for him or her to come back.
But trust me when I say that if you do this, your chances of getting your ex back will fall down to almost zero.
So instead of panicking, do your very best to relax, think rationally, and follow my teachings.
In order for you to get your ex back, we need to stick to the SCIENCE and psychological research.
Hysterics, begging, and pleading… as far as I know, these things have NEVER helped a client of mine get a second chance with their ex.
What we need to do instead is build the type of attraction that forces your ex to want you, desire you, and become obsessed with you again.
You’re never, ever going to “pity” your ex into wanting you back.
And furthermore, if he or she is seeing somebody else, there’s almost nothing you can do or say that will make them change their minds about being with you again… at least, now right now.
If you’ve just broken up with your ex and they’re already dating somebody else, they’re in what you call a “rebound relationship”.
What is a Rebound Relationship?
There are a few things about a rebound relationship that you need to know about before moving forward.
1.) Rebound relationships typically don’t last.
2.) Rebound relationships are short.
3.) Rebound relationships are PASSIONATE.
That last one is a big one – right now, your ex just found someone to temporarily replace you and they’re riding a wave of emotions.
The more you try to beg or plead, the more they’re going to lose attraction for you and fall right into their rebound’s arms.
So what’s the best strategy to take given the circumstances? Well, the best move right now… is to not move at all! Just WAIT.
“Ignore” Your Ex Back?
I know you’ve probably heard of the “No Contact” strategy, but in this case, you need to ALSO engage in a strict “No Ex” strategy as well.
That means that you need to do whatever you can to get past these hugely emotional and negative feelings by blocking your ex out of your mind completely. I know it’s easier said than done, but here are some tips:
- 1. Don’t go on social media. Or at the very least, unfollow your ex.
- 2. Delete their contact information from your phone. This will prevent the ol’ “drunk text” or phone call.
- 3. Take all of the gifts and belongings at your place and put them in a box. Hide this box. Out of sight, out of mind.
- 4. Keep yourself occupied. It’ll be easy to just sit around and mope and cry. But to truly get beyond your ex right now, you need to keep busy. Hit the gym, spend time with family, spend time with friends, etc.
Be strict about these rules and make sure you don’t deviate. Because once you do, it’s like falling back into the hole of despair again and it’ll be even more difficult to climb out.
For the next month, make sure that you’re doing everything in your power to stick to these four, simple rules. And remember, this is IN ADDITION to “No Contact”.
I know things seem grim right about now, but I guarantee that if you get past this difficult phase, you will come out on the other side stronger than ever. How? Well, just picture your ex once they eventually get out of that rebound relationship.
Imagine them feeling that powerful sense of loss… the same kind of feeling that you’re experiencing right at this moment!
At that point, who do you think they’re going to be thinking about?
If you’ve been playing your cards right and listening to my advice, your ex will probably be the one contacting YOU and missing YOU.
At that point, you’ll have TOTAL control.
If your ex does break up with their rebound, then this is your best chance to get your ex back for good.
And the most ideal situation at this point is if they text YOU after their rebound breakup. So what do you do if your ex texts you? At that point, just do nothing.
If you’re in this situation, you’ll want to regain the control that you lost after your break up. If you’ve been following the advice to this point, your ex will be thinking that you’re living your BEST life… and they’ll probably feel that they messed up big time by leaving you.
So DON’T come running back to them as soon as they show any sign of interest in you. This is a huge mistake! That is NOT the time to lose your cool.
Don’t Lose Your Cool If Your Ex Contacts You After Their Rebound Ends
The best thing to do after your ex texts you is wait at least a day to text them back. No exceptions. After this 24-hour period passes, do your best to seem delightfully surprised at their ex. You could say something like…
“Hey, so good to hear from you. Sorry it took me awhile to respond, just been busy. Things have been really good! How are you doing?”
Obviously, you’ll need to tailor this response to your situation, but what you REALLY need to know is that you must project positivity and happiness in your text message – you need to show your ex that you’ve been doing really well since the breakup.
This will shatter the image that they might have had of you in their mind, and at this point, they will naturally begin to chase YOU. Remember, people are attracted to happy, vibrant people… your ex is no exception.
What if your ex DOESN’T call your or text you?
At this point, you’ll need to find out if he or she is still with their rebound or not. But again, you’ll want to do this only after your 30 days No Contact and ONLY if you feel like you’re emotionally stable.
If he or she is still in that rebound relationship, then continue engaging in no contact and continue removing all thoughts of them from your mind. But if they AREN’T in that rebound relationship, now is your chance to pounce!
So right now, 30 days have past and your ex just got out of a short rebound relationship… what do you do? At this point, what you need to do is send them an innocent-seeming text message that will start a back-and-forth.
Use My “Big Ask” Text Message
You can send your text something like…
“Hey! I need a quick favour… you were always good with planning trips… any chance you could just quickly give me a hand with this trip to Scotland I have planned for this summer?”
And it’s as simple as that.
You’ll want to make sure that you text your ex for a good reason – don’t say something stupid like “I miss you” or “I still love you”… at this point, those kind of messages aren’t going to do you any good.
The only way you’re going to get your ex back is to meet up with him or her and build attraction organically.
If you’ve been following this advice up until this point, your ex should be more than willing to help you out. At this point you can go for a quick coffee, and this is where the real magic happens.
Wishing you the best of luck!