Do you want your ex boyfriend or girlfriend back?
Have they fallen out of love with you?
Looking for a second chance?
Follow these simple steps and you’ll have your ex back in your arms before you know it.
How To Force Your Ex To Love You Again
First, let’s begin with some important background info.
Fact #1: You can make your ex fall back in love with you.
You actually have a massive advantage here, and a real reason to be optimistic.
The simple reality is that you KNOW your ex has already fallen in love with you once in the past… when you first started dating, when you were in the “honeymoon phase”… your ex was probably madly in love with you at some point, and that gives you a huge advantage over anyone else who might be interested in your ex.
This is great news, of course, because it means you know for sure that you and your ex are compatible, and you just need to become the same person your ex fell in love with back when you were together.
There’s more good news, too: you already have shared happy positive memories together, which is something you can use to help you make your ex fall for you again.
Fact #2: Romantic attraction is not a choice.
A lot of people fall into the trap of trying to talk their way back into their ex’s heart. That’s never going to work — in fact, most of the time, it makes matters worse and will make your ex even less attracted to you.
HOWEVER, because attraction and love aren’t something we choose to feel, they’re also emotions and feelings that we simply can’t control or overpower with logic and reasoning.
You can’t choose who you love.
That means that just because your ex gave you reasons for breaking up that might be practical or rational in nature–things like “I just don’t have enough time to commit to a relationship right now” or “with my new job and having to move to another state, it just won’t work for us to be together anymore”–aren’t really obstacles you need to overcome in order to get your ex back.
If you can make him or her feel that romantic attraction again… if they’re head over heels in love for you… those things won’t matter, and their underlying feelings for you will overpower any of those concerns.
Fact #3: There are scientifically proven ways to help your ex fall for you again.
I’ve worked with more than 110,000 clients overcome situations like the one you’re facing right now, and I’ve seen what works and what doesn’t.
I’ve also looked into the psychology and science to learn a number of surprisingly effective ‘breakup hacks’ that can help you quickly and effectively change how your ex feels about you and the possibility of a future together.
Make Your Ex Fall Back In Love With You
OK, now that we’ve got those three important facts out of the way, let’s talk about some of the techniques you can use to make your ex fall back in love with you.
Step #1: Let your ex go (for now).
The unfortunate reality is that at this point, your ex has lost their feelings for you… at least to some extent. And like I mentioned earlier, there’s no magic word you can say to change how he or she feels for you.
In fact, trying to do or say anything in the immediate aftermath of the breakup to try and get your ex to change their mind is going to backfire and make matters worse. That means no begging, no pleading, no apologizing repeatedly, no sending gifts or writing long love letters.
Essentially, you’re going to have to accept the reality of your current situation, and let your ex go without trying to stop him or her. For now. I know this sounds somewhat counter-intuitive, but you’re just going to have to accept that getting your ex back is going to be a gradual process with many steps, and this period of “letting go” is the first step.
As much as you may not like this, and as hard as it can be to do nothing at all right now to try and get them back…. it’s the reality, and you can’t change it.
This ties in nicely with the second step, which is to…
Step #2 – Wipe the slate clean & start fresh.
The second step towards making your ex fall back in love with you involves re-setting their mental image of you.
In essence, what’s going on in their mind right now when your ex thinks about you and your time together as a couple is overwhelmingly negative… or at least, they’re thinking about you as “the past” rather than a part of their future. That’s something you need to change in order to win them back, obviously.
There are several ways you can do this, but one of the most effective ways to do this is just to start acting more confident and independent.
I know this sounds, on the surface, like silly psychobabble… but I promise that once your ex sees the “new you,” many of the negative traits or actions that you were portraying directly before and after the break up will begin to fade away and he or she will begin to look at you in a more positive light.
Remember, you possessed a bunch of positive traits and qualities when your ex fell in love with you back in the early days of your time together, but ever since the breakup you were displaying negative traits and doing things that your ex found unattractive.
This could have been totally subconscious and unintentional — in fact, it almost always is — but now you need to slowly and carefully bring those old traits back to the surface.
Change how your ex sees you.
A word of warning here, though…. this is where many of my clients tend to go overboard, which can end up actually pushing their ex away further… so please be cautious and subtle, and don’t seem too eager to talk to your ex and show off your positive qualities.
Now, one last thought before we move on to Step #3…. Remember that using the No Contact technique is also going to help your ex let go of some negative memories and feelings, too.
Research has proven that humans are hard-wired to hang on to positive thoughts and memories much more than negative ones, so simply leaving your ex alone for a period of time will definitely help re-set their mental image of you as well.
Step #3 – Plant the seeds of desire and attraction.
When you’ve begun to change your ex’s negative perception of you — something you’ll already be well on your way to doing by employing the first two steps I just described — it’s time to slowly send him or her psychological messages that demonstrate the fact that you’re still that attractive, bold, and charismatic person your ex remembered when you first met.
There’s a few different ways to help plant these “seeds of desire” in your ex’s mind, and one of my favorite techniques is to use text messages that remind your ex of shared happy memories.
Use texting after No Contact.
When you send these type of texts to your ex–where the goal is to bring happy shared memories to the top of your ex’s mind, and make them feel a longing for those “good ol’ days”–always make sure you get the timing and context of the message right.
You want to find a logical, justifiable reason to send your ex a text about it… it should feel to your ex like you are only sending the text for a specific reason, otherwise your true intentions may be obvious to your ex which will completely destroy any positive impact the message would have had.
After you’ve started to plant these seeds in your ex’s mind, and effectively begun to shift the way he or she feels about you, it’s time to set up an in-person meeting. This is really important, but it’s also something you need to be careful doing, because you need to do this correctly.
Really, the important thing here is that you need to pose as just a friend initially.
If your thinks you want to get together romantically when you propose meeting up in person, they’ll likely say no.
Even if your ex does want to see you, they will probably be thinking that seeing you could be emotional or lead them into doing something they think they shouldn’t do — like get physical again, or ask if you want to give the relationship another chance — so you want to make sure your ex doesn’t think that this meet-up is a date.
In order to do this, come up with some kind of reason for meeting in person.
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There are several excuses you can use to achieve this–for example, you could tell your ex you need travel advice because you’re planning a trip to Spain this summer, or you could ask about interior design ideas because you’re remodelling your new apartment, etc…
Choose an excuse that’s applicable to your ex and your situation that won’t seem weird or out of place.
Finally, when you do meet up with your ex, you’ll need to show them a good time. Make your ex laugh. Tell entertaining stories. Flirt like crazy, and build real, natural attraction again.
You can even pretend that he or she is someone you’ve just met, in order to keep things feeling “new” or “exciting”… because remember that right now, your ex is sick of the old and your aim is to re-ignore the “spark” of attraction.
ALWAYS keep any interactions with your ex fun, upbeat, and interesting.
NEVER get dragged into any drama or conflict, never engage in serious discussions about your relationship or breakup, and never let your true intentions — your desire to get back together — become obvious until you’ve sealed the deal and you’re officially together again. Until that point, keep it fun and upbeat and crank up your flirting game to the max.
Step #4 – Get my help if you’re facing a tough or unique situation.
Consider hiring me as your personal ex-back coach to get my ongoing help and guidance working through a particularly challenging or unique scenario you may be facing. As long as I’ve got a coaching spot available, I’ll be happy to take the time to learn about your situation and help you ensure you get the best possible chance of rescuing things with your ex.