If you’re still thinking about your ex, you’re not alone.
According to a recent study, 71% of people say that they still think about their ex too much. But is your ex still thinking about you? And, nost importantly, do they still like you?
This is an important question to answer if you want your ex back, if you want to be friends, or if you just want to move on… and we’ll cover all those scenarios later on.
Now…let’s get into the signs that your ex likes you. These are not guarantees but they are STRONG indicators that your ex still has feelings for you. If they display more than 3 of these indicators, I would say that you definitely have a strong chance of getting them back.
Let’s get into it…
1. Your ex is angry at you
Yes, as counterintuitive as this may seem, if your ex is angry at you after the breakup, then this is a very good sign that they still like you, even if they can’t see it right now. There are two reasons why this is a good sign.
First off, anger is NOT a sign of disinterest. While it may be negative, you have to care about someone to maintain anger towards them, at least in this context. If they were truly over you, then they’d no longer have any anger towards you. They’d simply not care.
Second, it’s about HOW your ex is showing you that they’re still angry. Do they call you up to yell at you and call you names? Do they bash you to mutual friends? Do they talk down on you to your family? These are all signs that your ex IS still interested in you because they’re signs that they’re trying to let you know that they’re upset.
They want you to know because they’re trying to get a rise out of you, to get back at you, or to make you beg for forgiveness. In any case, they’re trying to engage with you because they still care.
That said, if you did something TRULY heinous like stealing from them, cheating on them, or leaving them for someone else then this anger is probably motivated by that, more than the fact that they’re still invested in the relationship
2. Your ex won’t come pick up their stuff
It can be really annoying when your ex has left a bunch of stuff over at your place but this is actually another sign that they still like you.
Chances are your ex won’t flat out refuse to pick up their belongings. They’ll probably make excuses and deflect it to another day, and then another day. You may think they’re just being inconsiderate, or that they don’t want to face you after what happened, but that’s rarely the real reason.
It’s because, on some level, they wish you two were still together and they think that by taking their stuff back from your place, they’ll be one step closer to ending things for good. This doesn’t really make sense if you think about it for too long but they’re acting purely on emotion here.
They also may think that any time they see you could be their last so they want to be prepared to win you back when that happens. They know that this is unlikely to go in their favour so they’re putting it off until they have a better chance.
3. You score 70 or higher on my free quiz
After helping thousands of people get their exes back, all around the world, you start to notice patterns. If you know what to look for, there are very clear indicators that let you know what people are thinking, what they want, and how likely reconciliation is.
I drew on this knowledge when I created my free quiz. Take this quiz for yourself to understand what you and your ex are going through and how your ex feels about you at this time. It’s free, only takes five minutes, and will give you the answer you’re looking for.
4. Your ex still reaches out to you
I’m sure you’ve heard about my No Contact method by now… basically, it involves dropping off your ex’s radar for about 30 days after breaking up. It’s a very effective tactic that I recommend in almost all situations if you want to get back together.
Basically it makes your ex jealous, makes them miss you, and makes them rethink the breakup.
If you make the wise choice to use this technique, and your ex is reaching out to you–and especially if they do so multiple times–that’s a fantastic sign and a good reason for you to be optimistic. If your ex didn’t still like you, they’d LOVE the fact that you’ve gone No Contact so they wouldn’t have to hear from you anymore. They’re actively seeking you out because they DO want to talk to you, because they do still like you. It’s as simple as that.
5. Your ex is jealous
This one might be the single strongest sign that your ex still likes you. Now, I can’t guarantee this, obviously, but if your ex is clearly jealous about who you’re seeing since the breakup or what you’ve been up to… this indicates an emotional connection on their part, and shows they’re absolutely not yet ready to let you go.
While sometimes your ex can use some self-restraint and willpower to stop themselves from acting on any feelings of jealousy, it’s also common for a jealous ex to cave in and ask to get back together in order to prevent you from dating someone new or slipping out of their life for good.
Now, this is why I actually recommend you start dating around as soon as you can after a breakup, even if you’re dead set on getting back together with your ex in the long-run. I have a whole module in my best-selling Ex Factor program that explains the concept of “Covert Jealousy” and how you can safely use jealousy to change your ex’s mind about breaking up and make them beg you to take them back.
Suffice to say that jealousy is a great indication that your ex still likes you.
6. Your ex tries to make you jealous
So, on the flip side of what we just discussed, it’s also a very good sign if your ex is–very obviously–trying to make you jealous. Think about it: if your ex was over you and never coming back, why would they care whether you’re jealous or not?
If your ex is being very blatant about the fact they’re with someone new or dating around, it’s because they still want you to chase them. Or, in rare cases, it’s because they’re trying to get revenge and hurt you… either way, it shows that they’re still emotionally invested in you.
Regardless of whether or not your ex is intentionally trying to make you jealous, you need to avoid giving them that satisfaction if you want them to take you back. Don’t cave in to your emotions and lash out at them in anger or show any sign you’ve been emotionally affected by them dating again or seeing someone new since the breakup.
Act like you don’t care, and don’t even mention or ask about who they’re dating. If you talk about their dating life since the breakup–or if you actively try to sabotage it and stop them from seeing new people–you’re only going to make your situation worse and reduce your chances of ever getting them back.
Anyway, simply put, any kind of jealousy–either your ex becoming jealous, or trying to make YOU feel jealous–is normally a strong sign they may still like you and are interested in you.
7. Your ex wants to “stay friends” after the breakup
Being your ex’s ‘friend’ after a breakup–especially if you’re hoping to get them back–is almost always a bad idea. I’ve talked about being friends with your ex in the past, but just trust me on this: being in your ex’s friend zone is bad news for your chances of winning them back.
But if your ex does seem determined to remain friends after the breakup, and especially if they push this idea and seem insistent about keeping a friendship intact right after your breakup, it’s a very positive sign.
It shows they’re not able to handle the idea of you disappearing from their life entirely, and they want to make sure you’re still around as a ‘backup plan’ in case they change their mind about breaking up. If your ex didn’t care about you at all anymore, and was ready to move on for good, they wouldn’t bother to try and talk you into a friendship.
The more your ex seems to want to remain friends and keep in regular, friendly contact, the more sure it is that they still like you and potentially that they want you back.
8. They flirt with you regularly or there’s a lingering sexual tension
This one doesn’t need much explaining… if your ex is really flirty after the breakup, and continues to flirt with you regularly when you see them or when you’re texting or talking on the phone, they almost certainly still like you. Any kind of attraction your ex has for you–whether emotional or sexual attraction–is a signal. The more sexual tension there is between you and your ex after the breakup, the more likely it is they want you in their bed.
Now, if you want to get them back and start over in a real, committed relationship… you should normally continue to flirt with your ex, build as much sexual tension as possible and even drop some steamy hints or innuendos when you’re talking to them… but you should NOT let things get physical just yet. This is especially true for women who want to get an ex boyfriend back — withhold sex or any physical intimacy until you get what you really want, which is an actual romantic relationship, not a one-night stand.
9. Your ex sends mixed messages and acts hot and cold towards you
This is very common–which I’ll link down below and in the popup on the screen here–but in a nutshell, if your ex seems to be sending you really mixed signals — if they’re texting you “I miss you” one day, and then being cold and unfriendly the next day… or even just completely ignoring you at times, and then suddenly being really affectionate. Don’t be confused. They most definitely still like you and are most likely interested in you.
This is a good sign but it’s also a sign that your ex is very much confused. On one hand, they knew and still believe that going your separate ways was the ‘correct’ path for them moving forward… hence the breakup. But on the other hand, they still have strong feelings for you, and they miss you and are struggling to accept the fact that you’re not around anymore. This is why sometimes they seem affectionate, and then at other times they’re less emotional and more determined to stick with the breakup. It’s a difficult situation for those who still have feelings for their ex but it’s obviously much better than if they were just fully over you.
10. They tell you they miss you
Right, well… this one is pretty obvious. If your ex outright tells you they miss you after the breakup — and especially if they say it more than once, or if they’re really emotional about it — then they obviously have positive feelings towards you.
My recommendation for situations like this is usually to either ignore the comment altogether if you’re still engaged in your 30 days of No Contact, or to reply in such a way that it feels natural but doesn’t specifically say that you miss them too.
I know it’s tempting to say it back…it is how you feel. But even though it seems clearcut this is a potential minefield. If you show your ex too much affection here you may scare them off. Or you may give them that little validation they need right now to lift their spirits, and effectively help them get over you.
In fact, in this situation, the majority of people handle things poorly without even realizing it, and end up actually HURTING their chances of getting back together. So, if you’re not entirely certain about how to handle any kind of message like this from your ex or what it means–sign up for my 1-on-1 coaching before you respond. Let me learn a bit about your current position and help you decide on the best course of action to ensure you get them back.
11. Your ex seems nostalgic or brings up shared memories
Does your ex seem to reminisce a lot about the happy times you shared together? Do they bring up old memories, inside jokes, and just generally seem nostalgic about your relationship and the fun times you enjoyed as a couple?
If so, they are probably starting to forget about the more negative aspects of you and your relationship, while fixating and romanticizing the good parts. This is an instinct all humans have…We’re wired to quickly forget about bad memories, and romanticize the good ones. According to several studies, this feeling typically peaks around 30 days after a breakup… that’s when your ex will have had enough time to start forgetting the reasons they wanted to break up, and start longing for the positive aspects of you and your relationship.
The more nostalgic they get, the more they seem to long for those happy times together, the better your chances are of getting them back.
12. They haven’t taken down photos of you
If your ex still has photos of you up around their house, that’s a very good sign. This goes even more so for photos on social media. This not only means that they’re having trouble letting go of you, but that part of them feels like the two of you will be back together before long.
If they were totally over you, they’d be removing photos of you to get you out of their sight so that they could begin to move on. This means that they still have an attachment to these photos…which means an attachment to you. Not only that, but it means that they still want to look at the photos and remember times you two had together. This is a natural response after a breakup… but it’s also a sign that the positive memories they have of you outweigh the bad feelings.
13. Your ex cried a lot during your breakup
Breakups are never easy and it’s more than likely that both of you have shed tears over this. But there is one sign that I think many people overlook, that I’ve noticed among successful clients of mine.
People who describe their breakup as tearful—meaning that their ex cried a lot even while ending the relationship–were more likely to get back together than those whose breakups involved less crying.
This is definitely not a scientific fact or anything, but I’ve helped thousands of people in similar situations and that’s something that I’ve noticed again and again. It’s gotten to the point that if I hear a client use the word tearful, or mention their ex crying, I immediately feel more confident about their chances.
Of course, if you and your ex didn’t cry much during the breakup itself, this doesn’t necessarily mean anything, just that you two might be more stoic than the average person…but if tears are shed then that means your ex’s feelings towards you are strong.
14. They ask mutual friends about you
If your ex is messaging mutual friends of yours a lot, trying to get information about you, this is a sign that they’re still interested in you. Again, if they didn’t want you, they wouldn’t care how you were doing.
The same goes if they start talking to mutual friends they wouldn’t normally talk to, or even your friends…whether or not they mention you. This can mean that they’re fishing for more information about you and they don’t want it to get back to you that they’re asking. That’s a lot of effort to go to to check in on an ex. They’re not doing this casually or for no reason.
15. Your ex wants breakup sex
Now, if your ex is looking to hook up even though you’re broken up, this is usually pretty good news. It’s possible that your ex is just lonely and sexually frustrated, but it can also mean that they’re really missing that aspect of your relationship — and that they haven’t found someone to meet those needs.
It’s not usually wise to agree and sleep with your ex, except in certain situations where it can actually be very helpful for convincing them to take you back.
Typically I suggest that men sleep with their ex if they want them back and I tell women to hold off until things are more serious. There’s more to it than that though.
Either way, it’s never a bad thing if your ex still wants you in their bed.
16. They bump into you a bit too often
Running into your ex when you work together or live next door to one another isn’t really surprising, nor does it mean much for your chances of rekindling things. But if they wouldn’t normally be in the same places at the same time as you, and it happens more than once, that could be more than just a mere coincidence… it’s probably because they’re actively trying to ‘accidentally’ run into you.
They likely know roughly where you might be on any given day or time, and they may come up with an excuse to just happen to be there at the same time.
If they seem eager to talk when you bump into them randomly somewhere, or show up to the same party and cling to your side all night, it’s probably intentional.
And that’s great news for your chances of getting them back, even if only because it gives you an opportunity to flirt, show off the new and improved version of yourself, and remind them that they’re letting a great catch get away
17. Your ex isn’t dating around
Sometimes, people will take months or even years to get over a breakup and start dating again. But most of the time, people who are truly over their ex will be putting themselves out there soon after the breakup, or at least hooking up with someone new for a one-night stand or going on a casual date.
So if that doesn’t happen, even after a few months apart, it’s usually a relatively positive indication for your chances of winning them back.
Even if they’re open to dating but haven’t met anyone yet, that’s still good news, as it means they’ve been unable to easily or quickly replace you… and you remain the easiest, most convenient option for them to quash their loneliness and give them what they want.
Don’t panic if your ex is dating or you know they’ve gone home with someone new after a night at the bar… it’s painful to learn about that kind of thing, I totally understand that gut-wrenching feeling, but by itself it’s not usually an indication they’re never coming back. Take my free quiz at BreakupBrad.com/Quiz and you’ll be able to get a better idea of whether they’re gone for good or if there’s still a good chance they’ll change their mind and come back to you.
What To Do If They Still Like You
So what should you do now that you know that your ex still likes you?
First off, slow your roll a little bit. Just because your ex is still interested, doesn’t mean that you have it in the bag just yet. Often exes will have mixed feelings about getting back together. Or they’ll be more interested in the idea of you and then will balk when the opportunity presents itself. This is all to say: play it cool! Don’t run to your ex and profess your love for them and ask them to love you forever.
You’re in a good position right now. Show them you’re interested too but not overly. Don’t make any proclamations. Simply flirt with them, spend time together, and rebuild the connection you once had.
If they’re displaying several of these signs then chances are they’re open to spend more time with you than you have been up to this point.