She’s your rock, your one and only, your partner in crime. But how can you show her what she means to you? How can you make sure to always be a source of happiness in her life?
Maybe your wife is already happy and you want to do your best to keep the good times rolling. Maybe your wife is unhappy either because of something you did (or didn’t do) or for reasons totally unrelated to you.
Either way, making your wife happy is the key to a healthy, long-lasting marriage. Don’t believe me?
A study by Rutgers University found that a wife’s happiness is more crucial than her husband’s in keeping the marriage on track.
Stands to reason, right? If you focus on making her happy, she’ll focus on making you happy. Then you both win.
Let’s start with some small things you can do. The best thing about these tips is that even though they take very little time, they’re the first steps on the path towards building a better marriage.
Five Quick Ways To Cheer Up Your Wife
Maybe your wife is having a tough time right now. Even if it’s totally unrelated to you, when your wife is in a funk it takes a toll on your own feelings and on the relationship.
Instead of letting it drag you both down, take steps to cheer her up and get things back on track.
These are small things you can do right now!
1. Give Her A Call
A marriage is a partnership. You both have a lot of work you need to get done which means you have to do a lot of coordination by phone or text.
But don’t let your phone calls be all business. This is a marriage, not a corporation. You don’t want her to associate your name on call display with another errand to do.
Give her a call just to say hello! Tell her you miss her and you’re thinking about her. I guarantee it will leave her smiling.
“The Husband who calls during the day for ‘no reason at all’ discovers later in the evening a wife who is eager to give him reasons.”
-Matthew L. Jacobson
2. Buy Her Flowers
It may not be rocket science but something simple like flowers will brighten up her day more than you know. Flowers are a universal sign of love, they’ll add a pop of colour to the room, and they smell great. What’s not to like?
But most importantly, flowers will show her you’re thinking about her. Knowing that she has you on her side trying to make her happy will boost her spirits.
Remember, marriage isn’t a video game. You can’t just give her presents over and over and expect her happiness to go through the roof. But if you’re the kind of guy who rarely gives her gifts then some flowers or a necklace out of the blue will really go a long way.
3. Listen To Her
Everyone wants to feel like they’re heard and understood but some women rely on their friends and family when it comes to venting. She may be worried that you’ll find her problems boring or unimportant.
Ask her about her day and just listen to what she has to say.
Don’t try to fix her problems. It’s important that she know that she can blow off steam to you without being judged or feeling like she needs to take action.
Instead of offering solutions say, “I’m sorry that happened,” and “What can I do to help?”
This will make her feel supported.
“The relationship between husband and wife should be one of closest friends.”
-B. R. Ambedkar
4. Do Some Chores
Modern life is stressful, especially for women. They’re expected to do all the same things as men while also putting a ton of time and effort into their appearance.
If you can take a few things off her plate she’ll have time to relax. Walk the dog, clean the bathroom, make dinner. It won’t even take an hour to show her that you make her wellbeing a priority.
5. Give Her A Hug
Physical contact does wonders for health and happiness. Sex is great but nonsexual touching is as important if not moreso and there’s no danger of rejection or making her feel like you’re doing it for selfish reasons.
Hugging her, holding her hand as you walk down the street, and tucking her hair behind her ear are great ways to say “Hey, I see you.”
Take Steps To Improve Your Marriage
If your marriage is the problem, you need to make an effort to find the sources of tension in your relationship and work towards solutions.
If you don’t see eye to eye on your problems, talking to her is a good first step. Figure out what’s broken in your marriage and make a plan to fix it either on your own or as a team.
Just knowing that you’re willing to address her concerns goes a long way towards making her happy.
Fixing a broken marriage can be tricky. Here’s our guide to mending your marriage that’s sure to put a smile on your wife’s face.
“Marriage: Love is the reason. Lifelong friendship is the gift. Kindness is the cause. Til’ death do us part is the length.”
Keeping Your Wife Happy
Happy wife, happy life isn’t just a saying.
A 2014 study in the Journal of Marriage and Family reports that “the association between husband’s marital quality and life satisfaction is buoyed when his wife also reports a happy marriage, yet flattened when his wife reports low marital quality.”
This means that if she’s happy in your marriage, you’ll be happy.
These are steps you can take to build your wife up, raising not just her happiness, self-esteem, and satisfaction, but the quality of your marriage.
Show Her That You Care
When you got married, you made an agreement to always have each other’s back no matter what happens. You did this because you care about each other more than anything else in the world.
If she no longer feels like you care about her, your marriage will not last.
Remember that stuff you said in your vows about proving your love every single day? Well it’s put up or shut up time.
You need to show her that she’s your number one priority.
“The difference between an ordinary marriage and an extraordinary marriage is in giving just a little ‘extra’ every day, as often as possible, for as long as we both shall live.”
This can be as simple as telling her that you love her more often. And don’t let it go by too quickly. Really look into her eyes and tell her how you feel about her.
It doesn’t need to be poetry but if she can tell you’ve thought about it, it’ll mean a lot to her.
Telling her you love her is great, but you also need to show her. Try to do something for her once a week, even if its small. It can be a note on the mirror telling her to have a good day, a sexy piece of lingerie on the dresser, or taking her out for ice cream.
Little surprises and shows of affection will make her feel beautiful, respected, and admired.
This will pay off in a big way. Don’t be surprised if you come home and she’s waiting at the door for you wearing nothing but that lingerie.
Don’t Take Her For Granted
She needs to know that you value her and what she brings to your life.
If she does something nice for you, be appreciative. Not only that, take note of it and bring it up later on to thank her. Thanking her at the time it happens is expected but bringing it up later shows that you’re really grateful.
Not taking her for granted also means not forgetting your anniversary, her birthday, Valentine’s Day and other important dates. Don’t do it!
These days are extremely important to many women and forgetting them feels like a personal attack.
Put these days in your calendar so that you’re reminded a week before and you have a chance to plan something special. Do it right now. It takes five minutes and it will save you a world of hurt later.
“Improve your marriage to keep your wife happy. Keep your wife happy to improve your marriage.”
Support Her In Her Goals
Setting and achieving goals is a great way to feel positive about yourself and your life.
If you can help your wife accomplish some of her dreams then not only will she have something to feel happy about, she’ll feel like you’re on her side and bring value into her life.
Don’t push her to do anything she doesn’t want to do but if you notice that she has big ideas, tell her that you know that she can see them through.
Even if she’s not particularly ambitious, if she expresses the desire to do something, tell her its a good idea and do your best to help her.
She’ll feel like she can do anything as long as you’re by her side.
This one is simple. Say yes to her ideas and suggestions.
This can range from where to eat dinner to what to name your kids and everything in between.
A lot of guys have trouble giving up that sense of control in a relationship. If you’re an alpha and always need to take the lead in any situation, take a step back and put yourself in her shoes.
Imagine if she was always shooting down your ideas. Even if she was nice about it, if she was making all the choices in a relationship, you’d feel like she doesn’t respect you.
“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.”
-Lyndon B. Johnson
This doesn’t mean you have to put her needs ahead of yours every single time but aim for a better mix and, especially if it’s something trivial, let her have her way.
Do you really care what movie you watch or which freeway you take to get to her mom’s house?
And when you do disagree about something, be respectful. Say you have different political views, or she hates a band that happens to be one of your favourites.
You don’t have to roll over and pretend that you feel the same way. What you should do is listen to her point of view and try to understand it before offering up your own.
This helps avoid conflict and meaningless fights. It will also save time.
And if you’re going to support her ideas, don’t drag your feet. Put your support one hundred percent in her corner and do it with enthusiasm.
By saying yes to her ideas and suggestions, you’re saying yes to her as a person.
Be Your Best Self
It makes sense that most of the tips on this list are focused on your wife, but don’t neglect yourself in the process.
You make up an entire half of this marriage and if you’re stuck in a rut, so is she.
So take care of yourself. Stay active, be healthy, and have fun. Do what you need to do to improve your own life.
We talked about her goals earlier, but what about your own? Whether its running a half marathon, quitting smoking, or eating an entire rotisserie chicken in one sitting, set a goal and go for it.
The satisfaction you get from achieving goals will bleed over into other parts of your life and make you a better, more balanced partner for your wife.
If you’re the stressed-out overachiever type, try to slow down and take steps to simplify your life.
This doesn’t mean going on a week long vacation to Vegas with the boys and leaving your wife at home but it does mean making your health, security, and happiness a priority as well.
Make Time For Her
We get busy. There’s no way around it. There’s a lot that needs to get done and only so many hours in the day.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of life but a little one-on-one time can be all it takes to keep your marriage happy and healthy.
Treat her like you did when you were dating. Instead of watching TV on the couch, take her out for a drink or a nice meal. Go for a walk in the park. You don’t need to take her to the Eiffel Tower. Just the two of you spending time together is enough.
If the old routine is getting stale, try something new together like rock climbing.
Schedule it out if you have to or make it spontaneous but do it.
Anyway, if you can’t make time to be with your wife, what’s even the point of being married?
“Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.”
Disclaimer: Mental Health Treatment
If you feel like your wife’s unhappiness is abnormal, is interfering with her ability to function normally, or has gone on for an extended period of time, it’s important for her to seek mental health treatment.
You can’t do it all on your own and you don’t have to. A doctor or therapist can be a great resource to help get her back on her feet again.