Whether you’ve suspected it for days or it’s been eating you up for weeks, when you think your partner is cheating, it’s a terrible feeling to live with.
Instead of passively standing by while you wait to discover the truth, there are signs that will indicate whether or not your partner is being untrue.
While it’s important to note the difference between paranoia and real, true blue signs, it’s also imperative to keep in mind that the following behaviours are only indicators of a cheating partner, so they don’t necessarily prove infidelity. However, if you’re seeing several of these signs in your boyfriend or girlfriend, then your relationship may be in trouble.
If your affair radar is up, here are some signs to keep an eye on:
1. Their Timing or Routine Changes
Handling an affair is a balancing act, which means cheating partners have to count their minutes. If you notice that your partner’s schedule or routine suddenly changes, it could mean that they’re being unfaithful. Sometimes these small changes means nothing more than life has given your partner a reason to be unavailable or enjoy something new. Nonetheless, it’s something to be aware of.
2. They’re Eager to Start Fights
When a partner cheats, it’s common for them to feel emotions like shame, anger, and guilt, and to look for somewhere to displace those feelings. If you’ve noticed that your partner has been picking fights with you, it could be their way to let out their negative feelings. Instead of carrying on this way, get to the root of the problem and find out why they’re so argumentative.
3. They Stop Talking to You
When communication starts to fade, it’s a definite sign that something is up. If your significant other is the kind of person who always has things to say, and yet they’ve suddenly become quiet or distant, then your relationship may be losing intimacy. One of the most common reasons this happens is because a lover has started a new relationship with someone else.
4. They Smell Different
Everyone knows this one is clichéd, but it is also true. If your partner is coming around smelling like a perfume or aftershave that you don’t wear, then he or she has been too close with someone who does wear it. In addition to smelling different, look for random hairs, lipstick smudges and any other suspicious belongings that may be kicking around your partner’s home, car or office.
5. Their Interests Change
When someone spends enough time with someone new, they begin to adopt their views, or at least understand them. This can include anything from music and books, to politics and social views. If your boyfriend or girlfriend becomes interested in things they hated before, it could be because they are absorbing someone else’s interests.
The same goes for speech. As humans we have a habit of adapting our speech to those we are around, so keep an ear out for any strange words or sayings that suddenly become part of your partner’s everyday vocabulary.
6. They Make Excuses to Do Things on Their Own
If your partner suddenly has excuses to take their own car, or wants to run errands on their own, then it could be because they’re up to no good. Whether it’s grocery trip or going for dinners, if it seems like your spouse doesn’t want to do things with you, it could be because they’d rather spend their time with someone else.
7. They Start Acting Immaturely
It’s no secret that affairs can make people feel young and impulsive again, and that those feelings can spill over into other behaviours. If your partner suddenly shows an interest in hitting the town or partying like a 20-something year old, then they could be cheating on you.
8. Their Sex Drive Increased
In committed relationships, it’s not uncommon for your sex life to be a roller coaster of highs and lows. However, if your partner has simmered down in the bedroom then suddenly has an insane sex drive, it’s possible that their libido has been reawakened by someone else.
Keep an eye out for any new sex moves they may have picked up.
9. They Accuse You of Being too Friendly
A common realization unfaithful partners experience is just how easily you could cheat on them. If you’ve noticed that your partner is suddenly watching you like a hawk, or accusing you of being too flirty with others, it could very well the result of them cheating. If they’ve cheated on you, your innocent friendliness may suddenly start to antagonize them in ways it never did before.
10. They Lose Their Jealous Streak
Let’s say your partner was once the type of person who would get upset when another man or woman checked you out. Then suddenly, they’re encouraging strangers’ wandering eyes or telling you how great it is that others are into you.
It may seem harmless, but it’s also a red flag for cheating. If the idea of someone being interested in you used to send them through the roof, your partner can now use those thoughts as a way to feel better about their affair. When their jealous streak swiftly fades, then you may want to find out why.
11. They Justify Affairs
Your best friend’s boyfriend is cheating and you share the news with your partner. To your surprise, your partner becomes defensive when you tell them, and says things like “Well he wasn’t happy anyways,” or “People have affairs all the time.” This could be a warning sign of what’s going on behind your back, too. After all, condemning others for cheating means condemning their self, too!
12. They Get Lost in Their Lies
When you innocently inquire about their last trip to the grocery store, can you almost see the wheels turning in their head: Did I tell her I went to the grocery store? What did I tell her I was shopping for? Are they trying to trap me in a lie?
While your partner entertains these possibilities, you’re on the receiving end of that strange, faraway look in their eyes. If you see this lost for words reaction every time you ask your partner about simple details, it could be because they’re scrabbling to recall the lies and excuses they’ve made up.
13. They Hide Their Phone From You
Have you caught your partner hiding their phone from you, deleting messages or getting paranoid anytime you’re near it? If so, then the alarm bells should be ringing! This kind of behaviour is a clear sign that they’re hiding something from you.
Pay attention to the calls they take behind closed doors and who they say called or texted. Their body language and defensive tone are sure to tell you what’s going on.
14. They Don’t Like You Coming Over Unannounced
If your partner used to love your surprise visits but is suddenly irritated by them, it’s because they don’t want you around at certain times. It could be a matter of someone else being there, or you finding something they’ve forgotten to hide, but if your partner gets paranoid about you visiting, then it’s time to get to get to the bottom of things.
15. They Have Unexplained Bills
Whether it’s hotel bills, meal receipts for two or gifts that you never received, if you find these kind of things around their car or home, then watch out. If your partner is leaving a paper trail that shows they are spending time in the company of another, then you have every right to ask them who they’ve been with. If they brush off your question or become defensive, then you know something is up.
16. Their Friends Act Different Toward You
Have his or her friends begun to act oddly around you? When you casually talk to them do they seem awkward, nervous, or eager to end the conversation? If so, it’s probably because they know something you don’t know. How your partner’s friends treat you speaks volumes. It’s one thing if they were never that friendly to begin with, but another thing if they’ve flipped hot to cold on you.
17. They Casually Mention an End to Your Relationship
If your partner starts asking questions like”What would you do if we broke up?”or says things like “You’d be fine without me,” those are key hints that they’re considering ending things with you. Don’t let these slight remarks go unnoticed.
Instead, keep track each time they make a comment like this, and see if a pattern emerges. With the right puzzle pieces you may be able to catch your partner red handed!