211 Comments on “Should I Be Friends With My Ex?”

  1. Alex
    Hi Brad! Nice text! Well I have one question. For example: I was a colleague in school with a girl, and we kissed once, but havent heard or seen her for a while. What should I do to ignite the spark (start the conversation)?
    • Brad Browning
      Hi Alex. I would start by texting her something really casual and light-hearted. Maybe something funny related to a shared experience she would remember... Something like, "hey, long time no talk! just had to send you a quick text because I was thinking about that time your roommate walked in on us!! haha, very close call. Anyway hope you're doing well!"... Make sure she knows who you are - if she doesn't have your number in her phone, you'll want to clearly say who you are. If you text her out of the blue and she doesn't really know who you are, it'll come across as "creepy" which is not what you want. Good luck!
  2. salomon abensour
    Hello Sir My wife left me 1 week ago and went to live with a neighbor upstairs.Well there is much to say about this break up.the infidelity has been going on for years maybe.In ou societies every individual thinks about him o herself. I must add something important..When you speak about not to ente the friend zone with your ex you seem to forget if the breaking couple has children or not.I have 2 wonderful kids,a boy 9 and a girl 8.I have the custody of the kids.She said to me: lets remain friends because we have children.She comes every morning at 7 and prepares the kids for school,makes them food,follow them to their activities,training,football etc... How shall I deal with that? Shall I distance myself fron these contacts with her.What to do? Shall I hand her the children without talking to them.I can even tell you that we have an intimate relation from time to time.Does she do eveything to go easy on me because we have been together 11 years.I am 67 and she is 31.I look like 52 one can say according to people.I have eventually to say that my diabetes has made me somewhat impotent.Well she left!!!!Can I get her back?Salomon
  3. Mary
    Hi Brad, I broke up with my bf 1 month ago but I could see that he wanted to end the relation too and didn't want to hurt me. We have been together for almost 2 years, the last 4 months we didn't have sex and never had great sex .Since the beginning of the relation he has always told me that the attraction was not there cause he likes very skinny women and I am curvy. We had a strong mental connection and he kept telling that I was his best friend. We lived together for 1 year. I regret the break up and want him back. Do you think that there is any chance to get him back?
    • Brad Browning
      Hi Mary... sorry to hear about your breakup. Yes, I think it's still possible to win him back. Obviously I can't guarantee that, but with enough hard work and perseverance there's always a chance. I'd suggest you employ the methods outlined in this article, or visit my website and watch the video presentation -- you don't want to push him further away by making a mistake. Best regards! -Brad.
  4. Aria
    Hey Brad, my boyfriend broke up with me two months ago and since I blew up at him over Facebook he hasn't contacted me. He's 21 I'm 20. He says he doesn't want to get back together with me. And that he made himself clear but he wants to stay single before he starts dating again. But he doesnt want to get back with me. We broke up over an argument. We dated for three months. We have many mutual friends. And are into the same hobbies and interests. I'm still in love with him. Is there any hope for me? Or is he gone forever?
  5. Brianna
    Hi Brad, My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about 5 months ago but since then I've been trying to get us back together which I finally realize has been the wrong way by begging him so much , Three months ago he told me that he would give me another chance but it never happened since then I have done some things that have gotten him mad at me and now hes saying things to me like to move on and thats the past he said hes still not over everything that went wrong(the mistakes that I made that made him break up with me) I know deep down thay he stil cares about hme he just doesnt show it we have been off and on but do you think by giving him his space and doing what you said in your article no contact will he come back?
  6. Jason
    Long story short, while I was with my ex, I didn't want to be with her, even though I knew her value. We were together for 10 months, never did wrong by her, never really fought, but I decided I wanted to end it, but I didn't want to be the bad guy, so I created a situation where we would have to separate and it wouldn't be anyone's fault...I went away to school. She asked me when I would be leaving one time and I told her soon, she cried and cried, and told me she would need to begin a separation process before I left...actually caught me off guard. Problem is she now thinks "She broke up me" not does she think that, but I told a mutual friend I believe she's probably the best girl I've ever known and that I greatly appreciate her...of course they took it back to her. So here I am, the push/pull positions have been reversed and I don't know how to proceed after so much time.
  7. Dany
    Is it the same for long distance relationship? We're both 25. I studying abroad and I'm not comming back until late this year. We break up while I was here. Im afraid that if I do no contact with him for so long l will loose him forever....so "being friends" while long distance will keep us in our mind, Please help!!
    • Brad Browning
      You definitely need to employ the "no contact" strategy, but once that's over you can continue to maintain friendly relations with your ex... but generally speaking, yes, the same rules apply to long-distance relationships. If you're going to "be friends" then you either need to: a.) accept that you're never going to be more than friends again; or b) use the friendship only as a means to land an in-person meeting with your ex. Good luck!
  8. Whitney
    My boyfriend broke up with me a little over a month ago. He has talked to me almost everyday but, he has deleted me off of every social internet site (facebook, twitter, etc.).Saturday night he asked if we could just be FWB, I kinda agreed because, I miss him so much. I would do anything to have him back. We hung out that night, he told me how much he misses his ex girlfriend he had before me. It was the worse thing iv heard it hurt so bad. I want to win him him back. Hes the first guy I have been in love with and felt this way with. Please help!!! I don't know what to do anymore!
  9. Nic
    Hey brad, i need some advice. So my ex broke up with me november 22nd, so about 2 months ago. During the first month, we didn't talk for about 2 weeks. (i hadn't done any research back then and didn't know i should have waited longer). At first, she was distant and cold. After about another week, we had a 4 hour talk, and it was fun. We talked about a lot of fun things. After that, for about another 2/3 weeks, she contacted me a few times a week saying "i miss you, i wanna call you", and we did, we had fun, light, talks, but then, about a week before christmas, at the end of a call, she told me "you've become distant, i feel like ive lost you", and i think i was a little harsh on her, i told her that i'm distant because i was scared to text her, because she would often ignore me. She started crying, and hung up. Then, she went to montana for the christmas break, and we didn't talk for a good 2 weeks. I noticed that i had messed up, so when she got back, I tried to initiate contact with her again,because that was why she was sad, but I noticed right away that she was extremely cold, and answered in only "k" and "good" and "thx". I didn't talk to her for another couple weeks, then I did, and we called, we had a pretty good night, but she was still cold. I called her a few nights ago, (once again she was cold while texting), and we called for about 30 mins. At the end, I asked her what changed, i told her that i noticed that we've become more distant, and she simply said "i guess it just happened". Ive also noticed that she's been talking ALOT lately with another guy, a friend of mine, and maybe thats the reason she's gotten so cold? What should I do? She means a lot to me, we helped each other through many hard times, and we had many good times, and I want to go back to how it was before the break, being good, fun, friends, because I pictured that if we went on like that long enough, I would slowly win her heart back. Please help, Ive done so much research, but Im so confused, I feel like I was making good progress, but then it all went downhill. Im worried because right after the breakup, i told her that i might not contact her ever again, and she said "whatever you need to do", but then during the last call before the break, she said that she just said that because she was angry, but now it seems like shes gone back to that state, where she doesnt care, and im not sure if i should use the no-contact strategy, because a couple weeks after the breakup, I would be the one to initiate contact, and eventually i stopped, and, like i said, she took it from there, calling and texting me. What should i do? Im very confused, and any help would be appreciated.: Please tell me how i should proceed, i did a quiz on how likely i was to get her back, and it told me that i needed to act quickly and play my cards right, but Im not sure how to proceed! A million thanks -
  10. Taylor
    Hey Brad, I have read all of your articles and I really feel confident about all of them, and my ex and I tried to at least bring our friendship back because we want to stay in each others lives, but the problem is that I know she still cares and love me, but her actions are not the same. I am in the middle of trying to give her space, but it seems like she doesn`t really notice it, or she still doesn`t care, plus we play on the same basketball team at our school. PLEASE HELP ME, im getting frustrated because I really want her back!
  11. Jenn
    My ex broke up with me about 3 months ago. Everytime I spoke to him he acts like everything is fine while I'm dying. I think he is dating other women and is keeping me in the friend zone. I don't know what else to do to get him thinking about me. Help!!!!
    • Brad Browning
      If that's the case, then you should be following the advice in this article! Don't worry about what he's doing or whether he's seeing other girls... you can't control that. But you can control whether or not you allow him to put you in the "friend zone"! Good luck,
  12. kell
    This may be very clear, and i should already know the answers! But, i left.my ex a yr ago now, he was abusive in everyway. We do have children togther. We have had zero contact for.sometime, as it was a court order, due to him and his abuse again. But, he then sent a message, but also again stated it was an honest mistake, ment for someone.else. i knew it was once again headgames. So i dis not allow this to affect me. Couple months pass and he once again sends me mixed signals, like he wished i would have move on, and find.happiness he lacked in giving me, to, he will always have a spot for me, he oftwn.thinks of us and wishes it had of went better for us. This has been constant for many many years, while i also delt with his alchol, drug problem, cheating and his veryyyyy crazy and scary behaviours and very mental ones. Once again, i felt myself being.sucked right back in. I never lied, told em the truth, i loved him very much and wished we could.make it work, but he would always so quick then tell me i caused him.hurt and it was misery for.him, ect.... he is all over the block!!!! And having a relationship with his sister and.him.telling.her one thing, and him telling me another, now caused a majorrrrr blow up between him and her, her and i, and me and him. I cant handle the hurt any longer from him or his sister being two faced. Guess blood is thicker than water.. it still.dosent ease the pain knowing ahe been lying.to me n running.telling him everything about mine.n kids life when wasent allowed through court, to him playing his sick demented head games!!! Why cant i find an article about any of this, any suggestions??
  13. StrongZ
    Split in July last year. He started seeing someone else immediately. We remained civil. December 7th I implemented NC. On January 15th he contacted me. I had had surgery the day before and he reached out. I did great during that time frame. Well 2 Sundays ago he asks to hang out, the new girl and he broke up. I have been his "go to " since. Just being encouraging, positive and caring. He is the one who initiates most texts and asks what I'm doing. We have spent a full day together twice now. And yes, been intimate. I worked on myself, I feel great and am strong. My question is he the one who needs to get over the recent break up of his? Should I keep a distance? I am fine, like this past weekend, while out shooting pool as partners, a guy from the other team was hitting on me. I flirted back, saying I was just hanging out with my ex. You could tell it bothered my ex, as he was getting a little more attentive to me. I have never played head games, and feel as if I could be ruining any future we may have by being available to him... I have purchased the text your ex back program, however I am at a different level. I have done the no contact and worked on myself, feeling very empowered and confident. Just want to know to what degree should I be available to him now?
  14. Rose
    Hi Brad, My ex broke up with me about a month ago. We were together for 8 months and had a very loving and wonderful relationship and lots of things in common. Over the course of our relationship, things were great in the beginning, and then got better and better and then harder and harder. The whole time I was in love with him more than he was in love with me. I was investing in a partnership and he was "exploring" the relationship. We have fundamental difference when it comes to relationships-- he likes his independence and "needs his space" often, and doesn't really need that much affection, or sex, he hates public display of affection. I am just the opposite-- I love affection and love to cuddle and love spending every minute with him. A definite pattern developed over time where he would became lazy and complacent and didn't care about romancing me and would push me away and be cold and absent, and I became needy and clingy, wanting his attention more and more. After two months of this I became upset almost weekly and we would have deep and emotionally heavy conversations that were too much for him. So he broke up with me and said that he didn't want to marry me or have kids with me or move in with me. He also told me that he was still in love with me and thought maybe he was making the biggest mistake of his life the day after we broke up. It has been a month now and I have not made any contact what so ever. He has offered to be friends, but I don't want to be friends at all. I want to be with him in a new romantic relationship as his girlfriend. He has contacted me twice--once in person--he came up to me when i was bust working so I was polite and diplomatic and not emotional at all and said I was too busy too talk--I could tell he missed me and wanted to chat for a while. The second contact was a voice mail of him saying he wanted to chat and catch up with one another and that he " would love to talk to me" and "hopefully we could talk soon." If I want to win my ex back, but don't want to become friends, what should i do. How do I deal with this because I know for certain he misses me and his life is boring without me. I love him very much, but I don't want to be heart broken again. I want more control in this relationship and I want him to want me back.
  15. Kieran Richardson
    Hi brad My girlfriend finished with me a month ago. We was together only 6 months and although I want to move on we work at the same place and every time it see her brings all the feelings back. What do I do??
    • Brad Browning
      Hi Kieran... it's always tough when you have to see your ex every day, so I empathize with that. Not much you can do, I'm afraid, other than to stay busy (at work and in your personal life) to take your mind off things. Try to act friendly and unaffected by the breakup when you see your ex at work. For more help getting over the breakup, check out this article. Best wishes.
  16. R
    Hi Brad, I need an "expert" advice for my situation. I feel that things are getting complicated and confusing, more than ever. And I'm not sure whether it's just me or it really is. May I email the story to you? :\ Thanks!
  17. Jules
    Hi Brad, Help I am in turmoil at the moment. Been dating a guy for 8 months he was fresh out of a marriage for 15 years where his wife cheated on him twice. He fell for me even though he was afraid to. I said I had a few doubts and he bolted. We then talked and sorted it a few days later only for him to run again because I had gonefor a drink with a good male friend. We talked again about how we both missed our best friend (each other) and we seemed to settle although not bac together. Then a few nights later we were both at a party. Seperately and he flirted in front of me with a girl who he'd met that night and now 5 days later he is dating her. So much for being in love with me. I have deleted his number and cut off all communication but its hard as I still love this man and want him back in my life. Am I a fool? Hope to hear from you soon Thanks :)
  18. steve
    Hi Brad, Im currently trapped in this friend zone situation where after my ex broke up with me, we remained as friends. She got married in 2006 and recently divorced with a kid. Before I could even get a chance to win her back, she apparently got together with a guy 3 months ago. When I told her about I wanting a reconciliation, she told me that she knew of my feelings for her a long time ago but felt that we still wouldn’t work out. Is it too late to get my ex back as she is planning to meet the parents of her new boyfriend in June?
  19. Pru
    Hi Brad, I'm trying to take your advise on both sections of "how to get your ex back" and "not staying friends" But my situation is my partner and I split up about 7 weeks ago and we are still remaining "friends" and hang out a lot due to the fact we live in a share house together ( serperate rooms) two days before hand he sent me flowers and that morning told me he loved me? We then went for a walk together after he had broken it off with me? I still don't understand what happened between us? Am I giving him the best of both worlds by still being his friend? Please help! Your advise will be muchly appreciated
    • Brad Browning
      Yes, I think you should stop the 'friends' stuff.... he needs to realize that he can either have you as his girlfriend, or not at all. That should force him into making a decision one way or another. This is assuming, of course, that you don't want to be his friend and that you still want to be with him. If you're OK with the idea of not being a couple again, then friendship is fine, but if you want him back then you need to avoid the 'friend zone'.
  20. Fi
    Hi Brad, My boyfriend broke up with me just 10 days ago. He said exactly the things that you have mentioned, "I think we should slow things down and be friends.". This is so hard for me because he is my boss and I work directly with him everyday. I am trying to be friends again so that we can work together like before we got together but at the same time I also want him back. It is obvious that the messages that he reply when I was showing him concern are rather short and sweet. I told him that I may resign if I am not able to handle it emotionally but he told me not to resign and that he trust me a lot. It's very hard for me to leave my job as well because it's really good money for the qualification I have. It's also one of the most flexible job I ever had. I know it's not going to be easy to find a job with the same salary, flexibility and somewhere you can grow. It's a dream job. He knows that I will probably not leave the job. Right now... It's so hard for me to stop caring for my ex. I am constantly worried about him. I know his schedules and whatever he's doing because I takes care of his calendar. I am even authorized and have a his email folders combined with mine. His birthday is in 2 months and I really wish that I can spend it with him. What can I do to pretend that I don't care and continue working without feeling constantly hurt?
    • Brad Browning
      Fi, I completely understand what you're going through. It's one of the toughest situations you can be in and even though it's tough, it is indeed very much possible for you to get through this. Try to become the woman you once were before you two got together. Watch this Youtube video I posted as this will totally sum up what I'm trying to say: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ydeES3WU1Uc
  21. g
    Hey brad.. my girl friend broke up with me 9 days ago.. but the thing is we hav one beatiful kid... soo.. we still see each other.. but we are in friend zone tho... i still do love her.. and i know what i did wrong now.. to lose her in my life... but i think its too late.. or i really dont know what to do... please give me an advice to get her back.. thank you...
    • Brad Browning
      Hey ther G, while you can't force someone to love you, what you can do is focus on building up that attraction again. I do understand your concern about landing in the friend zone, it is a man's worst nightmare. And while there's no way to control how she feels, you can do your best in dodging the friend zone by showing your ex the attractive qualities that she once fell in love with, being happy, and simply being there for her.
  22. patricia
    My ex wants to be sex buddies until his new girlfriend gets out jail then he plans on going back to her which is in 6 months I agreed to it to be with him and everything was fine for the first month now he telling me he wants to wait on her and that just crushed me again I'm so miserable without him I thought o could win him back in the six months shesbin jail but now I don't know I love him so much and its hurting me like hell not to be with him what to do if I don't have sex with him while she's gone I don't see him at all we already been apart for 6 months now and just got back together and now he's pulling away from me again I don't know what to do or his to act he said he still loves me but going to wait on her
  23. Tracey
    I have had a friend for 10yrs now. we decided to date after 7 years if friendship. He broke up with me 2 & half yrs ago. His family has become my family. I'm invited to everything. while discussing dating he said he's emotionally unavailable it was 7 yrs since his divorce. A year after breaking up with me I learned he was on match.com. I was very upset what happened to unavailable? I was very needy and brought a lot of drama into our relationship. After breakup said it isn't me it's him. He said I'm me and he is him. I know I couldn't handle him being with someone else and said it just wasn't there whatever that means.His mom doesn't want me to leave her. I rent his house and he lives with his mom. wE do very much for each other. He always said I was the best girlfriend he ever had and I was the only one who got him. We have been getting a long very well. He is 62 and I'm 48. 10 yrs after being divorced he still talks to his step daughters and sister in law. He was engaged 3 times back to back married the third time. He recently complimented me saying I'm not the same person. I want to ask for a second chance. We dated 20mths.
  24. Jake
    Hi Brad. I'm trying to win my girlfriend back of 6 years (me 35 she 39). She split in jan but stayed in our flat for 3 months. We were intermate in that time and she said she'd didn't want to go but did. Ive been with her a couple of times since then weeks after she went but then got a bit too emotional, stupid texts. Tried no contact she broke it after two weeks asking if I was seeing someone. She is casually seeing someone. They don't sleeptogeter. The two weeks allowed her to miss me enough for me to be with her again intermatly. She begged me not to tell anyone. I went and shook the rebounds hand the other day for show also. I saw her yesturday when she said she was at a loose end and I was eating lunch out. Had drinks, very flirty she says I'm mean an awful lot to her ans I'm hanndsome, bit I think she might know what I'm trying to do. I've been trying to show her how much I'm doing in my life. Think she might be putting me in the F zone because I decided to lie and say she was right about the breakup. What should I do brad? I know she still loves me but won't admit it. many Thanks.
    • Brad Browning
      Hi Jake, give her all the time and space she needs for now --and give her time to miss you as well. You can't let all this happen without cutting off contact, so my advice is clearly to cut off communication for some time, like, 30 days, for her to completely miss you. Do not do anything that could potentially make the situation worse than it is. In the mean time, you can use this time to deal with your emotions and try to reach that better place of mind before you interact with her again. Head on to my website and watch the free video to understand the psychology of a breakup works and how human mind processes it: http://www.BreakupBrad.com
  25. Charley
    Hi Brad, my name is Charley (female). My ex and I broke up just over a year ago. We broke up because I was wanting to travel and live in new places however he wanted to stay in Australia. I have realized since then that I have made a terrible mistake. I am in the process of trying to win him back however he has started seeing someone. He has admitted to still finding our break up difficult however wants to move on so is limiting contact. Any advice for this situation? Charley.
    • Brad Browning
      Hello Charley, based on my understanding, you were the one to initiate the breakup, right? Before re-establishing contact with your ex, try to determine within yourself first if you can solve the root issue of the what has caused you to breakup in the first place. Can this be resolved? You may want to visit my site to see your ex's receptivity. Take the quiz there and find out. The free video presentation also helps to make you understand the psychology behind any breakup: www.BreakupBrad.com Also watch my free Youtube videos to help guide you on what to do next. Tips include how to re-establish contact, signs to watch out for, and how to avoid the friend zone, among others.
  26. Eric
    I have a very difficult situation, and did a lot of things because I was depressed, but I love this woman more than anything and want her back, can I email you directly with this?
    • Brad Browning
      Yes, you can send me an email at my website or you can sign up for my coaching program to get a focus and be guided step by step with your situation. The website is http://www.BreakupBrad.com
  27. Alicia
    hi alex, i am a student in university. my boyfriend broke up with me about 5 months ago after my friend had a chat about him ignoring me. i still like him. i went to a party a few months after and one of my best friends spoke to him, asking him why he and i broke up. he told her that i was not the reason why we broke up but rather my friends. so in my head i thought i still had a chance. During my exams i saw him like everyday and i was talking about him everyday, so my friends told me to tell him how i feel and also see if there was a chance where we could possible get back together. we had that conversation but it didn't go the way i expected it to go i slightly gave up. like a month ago i got so drunk and his best friend kiss me and this also happened another time. i had a chat about it with him and told him the whole story and also i wasn't telling him this to hurt his feeling i just felt like he should know. he told me "i.m not hurt 'cause i really don't care. look i think i'm saying this in the nicest way possible because i want us to be friends but i don't have any feelings for you so you don't owe me and explanation". what should i do i really really think i am in love with him. i use to cry my-self to sleep thinking about him. last night i did it again. i just want him back in my life what should i do?
    • Brad Browning
      It's really important to keep your interactions light and avoid any kind of drama at all cost. As mentioned in my Ex Factor Guide, you need to show him that you have reclaimed yourself somehow and didn't actually brood over the breakup now as it will likely backfire. I've mentioned in my guide how not to use covert jealousy and no, it does not involve him knowing about you kissing his best friend and then talking about it. It's just so wrong and there's no wonder he reacted the way he did. His male ego was hurt even if he didn't admit it. I would suggest to drop contact now if you can and you might want to check my Ex Factor Guide on how to go about this, but as for now, stop contact and focus on healing yourself.
  28. jenny ryan
    Hi Brad, Thanks for the email. I read and watched the articles/videos in the email,and my question is this; What if your ex did the breaking up and its insisting that you leave him alone,move on with your life,and actually states "im not yours anymore! Yet,he still on occasion had sex with you? Says he still loves you and wants to see where we are at in a year to see if he wants to come back.but you know he has NEVER gone back to anyone? We were married for 5.5 years and legally still are. How do you know if you ignore him he will miss you and come back? I'm scared to try.HELP
    • Brad Browning
      Hello Jenny, you're welcome. Whatever happens, make sure you don't fall into the friend zone or end up being plan B. The best way to do this is to focus on your own life plans and goals and never make it obvious that you're waiting for him. Be less available because I can see that he has all the power in the relationship and it's important to reclaim some of yours by not making him a priority. Remember that he's a ex and it doesn't really take a year if he's considering getting back together. While you become less available and not make him a priority, make sure you keep interactions fun at all times whenever you do interact. :-)
  29. Enver
    Hello Brad. I had a girlfriend for a year and a half., but we had always the distance problem, because we met in anther country... and we had such love stories (like everyone else), we lived there together for 5 months.. se came back to her country.. things went awful.. she borke up.. but than I did a program similar to yours...so no contact, no friends.. and it worked wonders back then.I came back to my country she came for 5 weeks, met my family.. and we started planning me moving to her country.. again, distance won over us.. problems, jealosuy, fights... last October she decided to break up.. we didnt speake for 5 weeks.. when i initiatied contact she was so upset cause I dind't talke to her for such long time.. than.. I kinda coold down. she started to reach out,.. with some months she got to tell me she misses me, she wanted to see me.. she cant promise what will happen but she will definetely be looking forward to see... anyway.. typical cold and hot behaviour.. so after all this 8 months, she started to drifted again.. she sneak in my facebook and realised that I had an "open relationship" status.. (we were trying to be friends).. I use this... programm for texting to get back with an ex.. it was working really good some months ago. But she got upset cause of the facebook thing. (a week ago).. and in this text program,.. it's said to use memories.. so I've done it.. but today she was like really angry and told me that I shoudlnt text that, those are long time memories and are over. (she has claimed strongly that she is not dating anyone). .. So now... it's frustrating..(Im actually going to her cty, but for myself).. and I don't know if I should do no contact again... and how should I do it? (ps. I' actually having great time.. and dating, not begging her or anything). Hope you read through and help me. Thanks for helping everyone Brad
    • Brad Browning
      Long distance relationships take more work than usual, and I could be wrong but it seems that one or both of you are not fit for a long distance relationship. This type of relationship requires a lot of trust and jealousy really has no place in it. Drop contact for at least 30 days and see if it's best to move on or get her back. Use this space to think about it and heal as well.
      • Enver
        Thanks Brad.. so I will no contact her anymore. But, I want ur honest opinion, and I know it can be hard to understand my situtation; but bearing in mind what I wrote you and howshe has behaved, Do you think is there... "something" in her yet?- Like feelings or that she does really care about me?. (months ago when she was reaching out, she was really perceptive to my texts and told me still liked me and she coudln't promise anything for the future, but she wanted definetely to see me when I'm in her city. BTW, should I just dissapear or should I write the letter that it is used by other relationship coaches.. I don't know if u know what I mean. Thanks for your help.
        • Brad Browning
          You're welcome, Enver. Trying to figure out what your ex is thinking is pretty hard, though the closest answer I could give you is that if your relationship was even remotely serious, then chances are she has/had feelings for you.
  30. Jonathan
    Hey Brad me and my ex girlfriend were together for about 4 years and recently broke up about four weeks ago and she has told me that she still wanted to be friends because she didn't think she could see me any other way. So we have been texting and have met up a couple of times, once was for drinks and we ended up kissing that night, which really confused me. After that day we met up again, I thought it was back to normal but she told me it was the drinking that made her do that, because she was so used to me. That really shocked me that she said it was just the alcohol. So I texted her this morning for the last time to have a good day at work but am thinking about going about 2 1/2 weeks no contact then doing the 3 text messages that you showed us on your youtube channel. I wanted to ask you if that would be a good idea and if you had any advice for me?
    • Brad Browning
      Hello Jonathan, yes, follow the advice on my Youtube channel as far as how to text her -- and any video mine which you find useful too. I'm happy that your ex is receptive to contact, that is a good sign. You're on the right track by not being clingy and backing away a bit, so good job! :-) Just remember to not rush things and focus on having a good time with her and showing her what a fun dude you are to be around. Also, if you find my videos helpful, then I'm sure you'd love my Ex Factor Guide which contains a step-by-step guide on what to do to help you on your path. Check out this link to get my guide: http://exfactorguide.com/buy/index50.php
  31. Sauleha Fatemah
    Hey its Sauleha Fatemah from India, You are the only hope for me so i am expecting good effective advice from you... I am 24 yrs and my lover is of 49... besides generation gap he also have a family with 3 kids, we fell in love 2 yrs ago and decided to marry ( as it is permitted by islam to have 4 wives). We havent our marriage as i need to finish my studies. Infact i am living with his family. He loves his kids alot and i have no issues with that. But i feel bad when he give his wife all things that i never get ( We need to behave like guardian as our marriage is secret yet) . I am get angry frequently. In begining he never ignored me when i got angry but now he started ignoring me . If i say i will live you he never concern. I know he love me alot and it was me who failed to handle situation but we both know we love each other. I just feel that i lost my dignity and respect in his life. so i started to keep distance from him. I have decided to apply no contact rule as i am laving the place for 1 month. will it give my hubby back ? or will it give my respect in his life back?
    • Brad Browning
      Hi there, the purpose of "no contact" is not to magically bring you two back together, but to make you see things from a greater perspective. This means that with time away from him and not contacting him, you clear your mind and see if the relationship that you're in is what's best for you or not or whether you will be really happy with in the long run or not. This will make him think the same as well. the bottom line is if he really loves and values you (nobody can force him this, only he knows it), then with enough time apart, he's likely going to realize it and may therefore attempt to get you back. Again, nobody can force someone to do or feel something they don't, just cut off contact so he will miss you and you get to have a clearer mind as well. Watch my Youtube videos as I have tips on there as well. Good luck! :-)
  32. Emanuel
    Hey Brad great stuff in this topic we broke it off after 3 years of a relationship Went through all the up and down of the no contact rule. Tony he point where we gave it shot but I found her still lying about small things like going out with her friends. She not one to communicate her feeling but her actions say more. We would hang out and chill and I Was still there but I noticed on her part she wasn't there all the way like before. Sucks ... I still care a lot about her. what confuses me the most is she would drop of gifts to my house invite me to chill. Call me text me good morning sometimes... I try to ignore but when I do talk to her for whatever reason it makes me feel happy still when we talk....what to do ?
    • Brad Browning
      Hi there, I'm not sure what you meant by "up and down" of the no contact rule. Are you saying that you didn't get to completely cut off contact after the breakup and went straight to being friends? If so, then that needs to happen first. You also haven't mentioned how long ago the breakup was. I always suggest to cut off communication for about a month after the breakup. If you've been in contact within this period, then this will explain her reaction to you as people really tend to get confused after a breakup and will send out mixed signals -- that you want to stay away from. If this isn't the case, though, and it's been months since you broke up, then you need to be stepping up your game but at the same time not rush it. If she's still talking to you especially after months since the breakup, then that is a good sign in itself. Don't rush it.
  33. Mannie
    its just all confusing cause yes you want to get back together have it like the good ol days because they make you happy but wouldn't that just give them the idea that they can screw up you take a few days off from break up or whatever, then start it up again. you get me. I mean only you can control what you will put up with but its confusing matter cause your trying to be the one with the power... and how can u tell if they are playing games or really trully still love you
    • Brad Browning
      I know it's confusing and we all prefer life to be all about roses and butterflies, rainbow, etc. :-) But real life doesn't work that way. I must point out, though, that you're looking at the recovery or the "no contact" phase all wrong. The purpose of having no contact is not to demonstrate who has the power but to make sure that you don't trip all over yourself by saying or doing the wrong things which could have been easily avoided if you've only cut off contact. You see, it's a fact that emotions are on a high within a month after a breakup. This goes for both people regardless of whether they dump you or you got dumped. This is a very critical period to cut off contact, because as I've said, you don't want to be overly emotional in front of your ex (which really tends to happen a lot) and they end up repelled by this. A breakup, in most cases, is caused by a loss of attraction and the last thing you should be doing is pursuing an ex and believe me, the last thing they want is to be pursued by someone who they're no longer attracted to. Is it making sense for you now? It's not very easy to tell whether they're playing games or not within a month after a breakup. The only way to possible gauge it is if they contact you after seeing that life is not so good without you in it. This takes time and cannot be forced. Check out my Youtube videos as I have more explanation on this or visit my website to watch the free in-depth video presentation about the psychology of a breakup: http://www.BreakupBrad.com
  34. beronika sato
    hello sir. call me nikka...i am maried for 30 years with three kids.my husband cheeted on me for three years and accept their relationship.And we were friends for another three years. I thought I will win his back for theser. a few weeks ago, i ask for separation.he refuses because he said he still loves me and the children, and cant leave his fiance becouse she is alone, and none can love her.But i still hoping that we will spend the rest of our life the way we used to be.Can I still win him back?Please help me/
    • Brad Browning
      Hi Nikka, if you ever have to live a happy and harmonious life, you both have to go to a marriage counselor to fix whatever problem you have in your marriage. The reason why your husband is seemingly torn between you and his other woman is because you're showing him that you're okay with it. You should have ended the relationship the moment he cheated or at least try to show him that you won't put up with that kind of behavior early on. I'm sorry, I know this must be difficult for you, but understand that you can't let him have the best of both worlds. It's not a healthy situation for you and your kids and your husband is not a good role model for them. I suggest, if you can, to separate yourself and your kids from him altogether, if he wont' agree to marriage counseling. The other woman has to go or else boot him out the door! :-)
  35. Mandi
    I have a difficult situation, my ex and I were together for 6 yrs and broke up about 2 months ago. We have a 4 yr old lil girl together. I broke a promise to him I swore I'd never break, which was that if we ever split I'd never keep her from him. Well I kept her from him for a day, 1 day. He now wants nothing to do with me, and basically told me only to contact him regarding our daughter. He wants no conversation until I find myself. I'm lost without him, and am having a hard time finding myself. He's also told me that were not getting back together right now, that we may or may not ever get back together. I'm not sure what to do, can you help me? I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall.
    • Brad Browning
      Please do understand negative thinking won't do you good at this point. I'm not saying that you should have unrivaled optimism either, but try to keep things in balance and do the right things first. Right now i you don't feel comfortable having your daughter meet up with him just yet, then let him know that you need this time and space away from him in order to heal first. Also, him not getting to see his daughter has got nothing to do with being pushed further away, as I believe these are two separate things. However, if you're planning to never let your daughter associate with him again, then that's a separate issue as well and a little on the legal side. :-) I'm not sure this is what you're saying though. Either way, I suggest to take more time for yourself and focus on healing and what you want to happen in the future. Take care!
  36. Chloe
    Hello Brad, We broke up 1 month ago still maintaing contact as a secret couple, we dated for 2 years and 6 months ( we had 6 broke ups so far), but at the end it didnt work out and he suggested to be friends but when I was trying to be polite but my emotions overtook me at one point and he said i dont want to talk to you forever and he blocked me everywhere and i had to change my telephone number today. So now im thinking what the chances to get back together? Should i message him from my new number or how long should i give him time off cos he obviously dont know my number? thanks
    • Brad Browning
      Hi Chloe, do you want my honest opinion? I don't like the fact that he made you both a "secret couple." For some reason, secretly maintaining contact or secretly getting back together, basically anything secretive is not a good sign and somebody's bound to get hurt one way or another. Consider the no communication as a blessing in disguise because that's what I would've suggested for you to do. You see, being friends is never a good thing to do right after a breakup because, if you take the time to watch my Youtube videos and/or check out my Ex Factor Guide, it won't likely get you to where you want to be with him. You both need space for now and attempting to contact him is not a good idea, so make sure that you take the time to focus on your own life first and achieve independence, then try to be happy without him. You can reach out to him after a month or two of no contact, stay strong and make sure you take the time to recover and see if this relationship is the right one for you, okay. :-)
  37. sweets
    Hiii, My bf broke up with me few month ago as his parents are not ready for marriage due to caste problem...n i tried to convince him about we can solve this problem n convince the parents...but now he is not ready at all...as he has tried before a lot but his parents are not at all became ready...n his parents are in tension because of this...so he took the decision.. He cut off all the contacts with me... How should i start the communication with him... Because he wants me to accept his decision n then he is ready to talk as a friend...n then to not so frequently... How should i make hm to talk with me again? N you see there are hopes to get him back.... N how?
    • Brad Browning
      Hello, it seems like your ex feel pressured with everything that's going on and with his parents acting as a barrier to this potential marriage. In this case, it's highly important that you give him space so that he won't feel pressured even more. Let him miss you and think about the direction of your relationship with a clear mind, so cut off contact. If you try to talk to him during this time, chances are he'll feel pressured even more -- you don't want that. Cut off contact for about a month and if possible, let him reach out to you first. It's too soon to judge whether you'll get back together or not, but I suggest you do the right things by giving him space as doing the opposite will only likely make him run away. So play it cool, okay. Consider getting my Ex Factor Guide at http://www.BreakupBrad.com where you'll learn what to do and what not to do and what not to say. Also check out my Youtube channel as a lot of people found these to be useful. Right now, focus on your own life and giving him space and develop your own social life first. Get busy and pursue your goals because sooner or later, if he really means to marry you, things will fall into place. Just stay strong.
  38. Selene
    Hey Brad, so I am in a sticky situation. My ex is helping me with sweedish ( His native tongue) and he deposits money on my account every month for his phone bill and pgande. ( we used to live together and the bill situation is somewhat complicated). We decided to stay friends thoguh we don't talk that ofetn. It is usually a long beoken message in swedish. What can I do?
    • Brad Browning
      Hi Selene, assuming that you want to get back together with your ex, I do hope that you've taken the time to cut off contact from him first instead of becoming friends right away. Cutting off contact (for about three weeks to a month) helps ensure that you are recovering from the breakup, which is always the first step in getting an ex back. My answer to your question has to do with a lot of factors. How long has it been since the breakup? How long was the duration of the relationship? What happened? and what's his behavior like at present and is there someone else involve in either you or his life? These factors have to be taken into consideration and I would love to help you what to do next, so if you want to give your full story, consider signing up for my coaching program at http://www.BreakupBrad.com/Coaching that way, I can monitor the progress and guide you accordingly. Otherwise, make sure to watch my videos on Youtube as they're helpful as well, especially this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeGNPBdpnsI&list=UUhCFbthWQF4MKA-43SCDB9g
  39. Caroline
    Hi Brad! I'm in a very very awkward situation right now! Me and my bf broke up like 2 months ago and he said the reason he broke up with me is that he don't know how to love a person anymore and don't wanna waste my time but he still love me. I just can't understand what is he thinking. We still see each other at school and we have one same class. We now both struggling with whether we should move on or keep in friend zone. I can tell he's struggling too because I can really tell when he's talking to me. He want me just go and don't waste my time on him but then most of the time he treats me so well and I seriously don't know what to do. I know we can never be like the past anymore but I just can't give up on him and him too... Anyway we both are just...struggling. I still HAVE to see him every day because we're in the same class and it's so painful...And in class he's seating with a new girl which is kinda cute and his friend. Sometimes I'm thinking maybe I should move on. But when he's walking with me He then gives me a sense of he not really like that girl and he still miss me. Am I thinking too much or something? Is there really nothing between them? Because his friend, another boy is interesting in that girl too( you know..boys like cute girls) I've done a lot of things I shouldn't have done since we broke up because I just can't control myself and I keep holding on to those memories. So yea... We both don't know what to do. Should I just walk away from him? Please guide me Brad!
    • Brad Browning
      Hi Caroline, since you're both struggling and he's pretty much confused with his feelings, then your best bet right now is to move on, that way, you won't be stuck trying to figure out a relationship with someone who's confused with his feelings and use the energy so you both can focus on your studies instead. You're both still too young, I presume, and I suggest to not be friends with him yet because the confusion will start to make way for clearer perspective once he misses having you in his life, so do not be his friend and use this time to recover first, all right. Visit my Youtube channel as I have lots of helpful tips on there as well that you could use. Find the video on how you can act around your ex. Take care!
  40. MK
    Hi Brad, Thanks for your advice. I admit, I have tried the friend zone and it has failed epically. I was on the initiating side of the break up a few months ago (usually the other way round) and it was oddly very easy. My ex was not happy about it at all and his reaction confirmed that I made the right decision in calling off the relationship. I didn't know what to say to ease the "blow" so I said "I am happy to be friends with you." That's not the case, of course, but I felt odd just saying that because in my head I was thinking "no, we need to cut off all contact with each other for a good length of time." Anyways, just wanted to say your advice was insightful and well received. Thank you. :)
  41. Brad Browning
    Hello MK, thank you! I'm glad you find this site(and my advice) helpful. This is based on a combination of both personal and professional experience as a relationship coach. We all have to fall in order to learn these hard lessons, eh. I myself am not excluded from pain, so I decide to put these experiences to good use and help people. :-) Also check out my Youtube channel, I posted more tips on there, too. Take care!
  42. Shane
    Mr. Browning. I have a serious question. Really need help!! I have been with a lot of women over the years and I found the perfect girl for me. She really is but after 4 months of dating just put of the blue she ended it.... I have been broken up for 3 weeks now, but we continue Foch t and I we've hung outa couple times! We still flirt and I can still see she is attracted told antsy I'll has feelings for me. She doesn't want to date other people either. I was wondering if it'd be a toothed to possibly, tell her that I realize now what went wrong, and I'm goin to avoid the se mistakes. And el her tha I'm going to focus on our new relationship, we both agreed were friends with emotional benefits. But I was gonna tell her my realizations, hang out with her for her birthday next week, then initiate the no contact rule to make her miss me and realize that I'm not in her life no more. Will this wot a dis it too late! I swear she is the one!! PLEASE HELP!!!
    • Brad Browning
      Hello Shane, you can restart communication and continue the flirting but make it subtle. I don't think it's a good idea to be telling her things about your relationship and what went wrong. Avoid any type of drama at this point because a situation with an ex is very fragile especially early on -- it's only been a month or so. Never talk about what happened in the past and instead keep things light and fun! Focus on getting on her good side and SHOW her a good time. Again, don't rehash the drama on what happened in the past , that's never good. There is a time for that but that will come much much later when you two have re-established a solid foundation again in a romantic relationship. For more tips on what to do when, consider getting my Ex Factor Guide so you won't be left questioning what to do next. Shift the focus more to yourself as well. The more happy you are being single, the better your chances are. Take care!
  43. Allie
    My ex and I broke up 4 years, we were in a long distance relationship. We were "friends" for almost a year until he met someone new, though the relationship lasted 3 years I am told that it wasn't a happy one and he cut off contact completely. He broke up with me, he's in the military, we've been talking on and off for 10 months. He contacted me 6 months after his break up wanting to mend fences and be friends, He tells me he's working on himself. At first I think I was more of emotional support for dealing with his break up (he was dumped) but I sent him a harsh message about it and I cut him off for a little over a month, then I messaged him again. When we talk it's pretty platonic, I've tried triggering some memories of me, even sexual ones and he clearly had a reaction to it but tried pulling away. We were cool for a few months, we'd message each other almost daily and here and I would wait a few days for him to contact me first and or ignore his messages for a few days to a week, I did it up until I couldn't take it anymore and I told him that I still loved him and am interested but don't think it would be a good idea to be friends when he only wants to be friends and I want more. He insisted that we continue talking, we didn't talk for a few months because a lot was going on in my life, but I contacted him to catch up, I turned a little cold here and there and he called me out on "always pulling away" We've had mediocre conversations and deep ones, I expressed my un resolved feelings about our break up, he can't really give me any reason other than being really stressed out from being in the military and didn't know what he wanted anymore. He told me that he regrets hurting me and that he was stupid, he's told me that I will always have a special place in his heart and If he could he would go back in time and fix everything. Whatever that means. He says a lot but it sometimes isn't enough for me to understand. He wants to be there for me emotionally and has been, My current relationship is at its breaking point and beyond fixing. I'm not sure if he is truly trying to be a good friend or if he doesn't want to open up too much since I am still technically in a relationship. His brother checked up on me a few times, while he was still with his now ex, I know his family loved me and my family loved him and we were going to get married.. He says he's happy being single and I know I'm special to him on some level, I just don't know how to get those romantic juices flowing again. I know he still finds me attractive and we are comfortable communicating openly for the most part, I just don't know if I can hit a nerve with him again or if it's too late, we didn't argue, never cheated.. He didn't want to meet up when he came back to the hometown for a visit but that was only a few months into being "friends" and he was afraid we would cross a line, we have strong chemistry so I could understand why. How do I proceed? And how do get him to let his guard down?
  44. Brad Browning
    Hi there, it's never a good idea to bring up the past as part of re-establishing communication with your ex. Not only will this pressure him to do something about it, but will likely push him away further as well. Try to put your situation in perspective as well. Is this relationship really good for you? Sometimes people are just not cut out for long distance relationships, so that is indeed a factor and should be taken into consideration as well. Try to see if that is your case. How often have you seen each other during this long distance relationship? How solid is your foundation? Were you friends first? A lot of factors has to be taken into consideration too including how he was and how you are during the time between the breakup and now. So if you want to give me an update about it, consider signing up for my coaching program. Otherwise, watch my Youtube videos because a lot of people has found it helpful as well. Take care and good luck!
  45. Nina
    Hi Brad ! I had a relationship for 2 years with a guy and were living together and all of a sudden he decided to move to another country and my whole world fell apart since that was the last thing I was waiting for after all of the things I had done for him . To make matters worse , he totally changed his behaviour for about 2 weeks towards me and he became totally emotionless somehow but then he went back to normal and wanted us to be together again but I told him he can't play with my feelings and we can be friends while he is abroad but no we can't be a couple again because he treated me like s**t when I mostly needed him by my side to cope with this sudden decision of his . So bottom line ,he's been abroad for 2 weeks now and we are in touch even though I try to move on with my life and do things for myself , he seems to be getting jealous , he even tells me to wait for him but i tell him no . The honest truth is that my mouth says no but my heart is somehow still "in that place" . Do you think that the "no contact rule" would apply for my situation ? My mind doesn't want him back any more so i will give my all to stick to that , but i am always worried as to how he is doing in this foreign country since he has no one there etc Thank you for your time !
    • Brad Browning
      Hello Nina, let him take responsibility for his own actions and stop worrying about him. He's a grown man after all! :-) Now regarding your question, yes, cutting off contact would help in terms of him seeing what he's lost and would perhaps miss you as well as begin thinking clearly again. He can't do all those with you sticking around, so be strong and do the right thing. Get my Ex Factor Guide so you'll learn ways on how to go about getting him back. Otherwise, watch this video so you'll understand what I mean: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances of Getting Back Together Good luck!
  46. Jeff
    Hey Brad, My ex has mentioned the 'let,s be friends' thing, and before even reading your article, I thought it was as bad idea because of the previous feelings and intimacy that we shared. It had been mentioned in the past that our intimacy and sex was very good. Should the 'friends with benefits' suggestion by me even come into play at this point? I want this woman back and I'm damn close to purchasing your course to make it happen. Thanks.
    • Brad Browning
      Hello, Jeff. I wouldn't suggest to get into a sexual relationship especially if you still have feelings for her. You're only fooling yourself, man. :-) Take time to heal instead and let her miss you, as well as giving space for both of you to think clearly again. At this point, you want to make sure that you do all the right things and not go crazy and do the wrong ones in order to maximize your chances of getting back together. So get my guide if not my coaching program so you'll be equipped with the right knowledge. For now, cut off contact for about a month and stick to it. For starters, also avoid the mistakes I mentioned on this video: 5 Mistakes that Could Ruin Your Chances of Getting Back Together. Good luck!
  47. joe
    Hey brad me and my ex girlfriend are broken up for 4 months now and still have contact occasionally,and none of us has moved on, as she said she cannot get over the relationship failure because of how much we both have put into it,we have been dating for 3 years,what do and how long do I have to fix it?
    • Brad Browning
      Hi Joe, for the complete guide, I suggest you get a copy of my Ex Factor Guide because everything is a process and it's too long for me to post it on here. It's a 138-page book where you learn what to do, what not to do, as well as how to go about getting her back -- if you follow what I wrote on there. I've also included on there the clean slate email which may win your ex's heart back. Anyway you haven't really told me enough about your situation, man. What have you been doing to get her back? Did you act too interested or aloof? A happy medium is recommended. The process is broken up into five stages and I hope you haven't skipped a stage.I also don't know which stage you're at, so it's best if you refer to my book for that. Have you cut off contact or did you went straight to being friends right away? I couldn't stress how important this is. Get my guide to know all about it. Otherwise, watch this video: Step-by-Step Guide to Reversing Your Breakup
  48. Mansubo
    I think i was bad girlfriend in my relationship. i wanted all his support and i was draining him out. after a fight or two he calls out to be a break. i fight with him for constant 15 days and then he said he wants a break up , again on the other day we meet up on 18th and i decide of giving him a break. on 23rd September i leave for another city and we communicate for a little while. its been two months and i have been projecting myself as a weak person and i often cry in front of him or on call saying that i miss him badly and i make him see my desperation. sometimes we talk nicely to each other and recently he came to meet me. on the very next day i went to see him , he was shocked to see me. in the process he never showed me his phone and that led to mistrust. he went out for a movie and i was unaware about it and he told his friends not to tell me. i am really getting confused in my head. i am vomiting all the time due to anxiety and stress. he takes care of me sometimes but he says that i am taking your care as a friend. i am very confused and i dont know how to approach the situation ass i made it worse day by day. maximum we had not talked is three days. i feel that i may loose him or what if he is seeing someone else. i cannot imagine my life without him. in addition to that he replies to all my msgs and picks up all my calls. sometimes he gets irritated and leaves me on my own. today morning i had a bad dream and i called him he was travelling somewhere and i started interrogating him. he confessed today that he likes someone who is a junior in his college. i feel cheated as i cannot think of myself being with someone else. i think now he does not want me in his life ad he is not dependent on me for anything (mentally, physically or emotionally) and often tells me that y it so important for you to stay in a relationship. i get bad vibes and intuitions. tell me a solution to it.
  49. Amber Tange
    Hey Brad, I purchased your personal coaching close to four days ago and I haven't heard anything back. I don't mean to sound pushy or desperate but I just want to find out how long it should be until I can expect a reply?
    • Brad Browning
      Hi Amber, I'm sorry if this has been the case. I do put priority on clients who sign up and it's rare for me to miss an email from one. Which email address have you used to sign up? Is it the same one you use to comment on here? Please let me know as soon as possible. Thanks! Talk to you soon.
  50. Jacob McCandles
    Hi Brad, My situation is a little odd. I recently broke up with my girlfriend who was a widow. Even though she dated guys before me, she says she is not ready and just wants to be friends right now. How much space should I give her? How do I show her that I'm here for her? Thanks
    • Brad Browning
      Hello Jacob, if she initiated the breakup, then give her all the space she needs by letting her reach out to you first. This is what I recommend after a month of the breakup because for now, I highly suggest you cut off contact for the first 30 days of the breakup. Don't be friends. You ought to give her space so she can think clearly and hopefully know what it is that she really wants. A factor to be taken into consideration is the duration of your relationship with her. Was this a long term relationship or was it one which only recently started? If it's a long term one and she just broke up with you out of nowhere, then that's more likely an excuse. Watch this video: What Your Ex Mean When They Said "It's Me, Not You" and Or Any Common Excuse If this had been short term then had she recently came out of a relationship? There's too many factors to be considered, so I suggest you sign up for my coaching program. Otherwise, definitely check out my Youtube videos as it can offer some tips too. Good luck!
  51. DN
    Hi Brad, I bought your book, and after 1 week of no contact he reached out to me a few times. Recently he invited me out to a party with his friends and I accepted. He ignored me most if the night, which was fine because I kept myself busy and having fun. Later in the evening, we both went back together and had sex. The next morning he was cold and distant, and I did like what you said and made up an excuse to leave. Later I had anxiety and texted asking him if we were friends or FWB, and he said we could be just friends but then we shouldn't go home together after we hang out. I'm not sure how to recover from this setback. Please help!
    • Brad Browning
      Hello DN, don't reach out to him again. The first 30 days of the breakup should've been a time to stay silent and cut off contact. The next time he tries to make a move to ask you out or hang out, etc. try to be busy so you won't be too available to him. H needs to feel what it's like not to have you in his life, so give him a chance to do that. A week is too soon really. Anyway, you need to get things going in your life as well, read the chapter regarding attractive qualities, these qualities will not only have long term benefits within yourself, it will also divert your focus from him and back to you instead -- which is what should be happening. Read my guide again and again until you master it. :-)
  52. Jay
    Hi Brad, I bought your book a couple of days ago and I noticed this "no contact" strategy. I want to go ahead and initiate it on my ex but I have trouble doing it. My ex broke up with me about a week again and said she wants to be friends with me due to the fact that she wants to be loyal and honest when she's my girlfriend because she sees her ex every now and then and she says she feels unloyal and unhonest. She said she tried avoiding contact with me completely but she says I'm one of the most important people in her life and won't know what to do if she lost me. I don't know what to do at this point. She texts me daily and we talk on the phone every now and then. Is it a good idea to do the "no contact"?
  53. Brad Browning
    Hello Jay, thank you for purchasing my guide. if you've read my book from cover to cover, you ought to know by now that the "friendship" thing is a trap. Notice that you've technically given all your power away to her by settling for friendship. You're also indirectly sending the message that it's okay for her to treat you that way because of what she wants. Well...how about what you want? By being her friend, you're enabling her to get the best of both worlds. That's not what my book is about, my guide may not be to let her change her mind, but it is definitely designed to let you do the things so as to maximize your chances of getting her back. Read my book again as I've emphasized how important cutting off contact is. Use it to your advantage.
  54. Joe
    Hello Brad, we broke up a year ago and since then few months pass without talking but after that i become weak and i talk to her. Since September she agreed with me to be more then friends but not lovers and we talk almost everyday. Yesterday we fought because she is always very cold with me and never tell me any beautiful word and when we see each other she does not allow me to kiss her or touch her. She even told me yesterday that she does not love anymore. the most thing that she hates about me is when i become needy and clingy such as calling her several times or texting her many times a day. Should i continue to be "friends" with her and talk daily or should i tell her that we cant be friends anymore and disappear this 30 days period? ps: we work together in the same company but in different locations however she is obliged to send me mails regarding work. please i need your advise and thank you in advance.
    • Brad Browning
      Hi there, sorry to hear that. It seems like you're on your way to reconciliation until the point where you become clingy. Being needy or clingy is an attraction-killer. I've talked about this extensively in my Ex Factor Guide as well as on my Youtube videos. You might want to check those out so you'll avoid making unnecessary mistakes in the future -- whether with your ex or with someone new. Moving forward, give it some more time before contacting her again, let her miss you a bit. Keep your conversation strictly professional and let your actions speak for itself. This means to say regaining your confidence and being content with being single (even if this is not what you feel at the moment). Take care!
  55. Laura
    Hello, Brad! Thanks you for the article, it's been an invaluable discovery. If you don't mind, I'll share my situation with you (and be grateful for any advice): my boyfriend of two years broke up with me about three weeks ago. Before that he moved to a different country (knowing that I wouldn't be able to stay with him for long periods of time) and eventually stopped responding to my messages and suggestions to Skype. I have to admit that I've been dealing with depression for the last year and it must have been a huge turn off for him, so I can't blame him for wanting to get some space, though I did my best to look cheerful most of the time and help him out whenever I could. His reasoning for the breakup was him not missing me, having attachment issues in general (which might be the case, since he comes in touch with his loving parents at best every 3-4 months) and wanting to be "detached". Do you think there's a chance to bring him back? I haven't contacted him for days now, blocked him from everywhere not to be tempted to. I still love him, but at the same time I want to be with a reliable person and I'm not sure if he can change and become ready for a commitment all of a sudden, since according to him he neither misses me, nor wants to be in a relationship with anyone. Is there any hope? Thank you.
    • Brad Browning
      Hey there, Larua, I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm glad you find this site helpful, for more tips, I made a Youtube channel outlining general situations with an ex, so definitely check that out as well. :-) Anyway your ex may be coming up with all sorts of excuses, regardless of how viable they seem, the bottom line as to why he broke up really was the loss of (emotional) attraction. Depending on the overall tone of your relationship and your history together, things may not be as bleak as it looks right now. Just give him time to process his emotions (the same goes for you) and let him miss you by staying out of his life for at least a month; more if you can help it. The important thing is knowing when to talk to him and when to ignore him, my free Youtube videos can definitely help you on that. If you feel your situation is too unique though and there are more things I should know about, then I invite you to sign up for my coaching program so I can guide you on a regular basis as things progress. Take care!
  56. rie
    Hi brad! Well i had a problem. I've read your book and i want to follow it step by step. Im currently in no contact period. I was just wondering if i have a chance because he has a new girl already. And i think he's afraid of breaking up wd her because the girls just told it to her parents and friends already. My ex is afraid hurting the girl. What do i do? Pls help. I think my ex loves me but don't know how to escape to his new girl. Afterall, i think its just a rebound because he replaced me in just 1 week.
    • Brad Browning
      Hello Rie, sorry you're going through this. Right now, you may still be in denial, which is completely understandable. Take some time off though and make sure you cut off contact for at least a month or more if you can help it. If your ex initiated the breakup, then chances are he lost emotional attraction for you. I know it's not what you want to hear and I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but years of relationship coaching has proven me right. Now attraction is built naturally, so no amount of talking him will do the trick. For now, focus on one thing at a time and right now you need to stay strong and not talk to your ex at all. I suggest you get my Ex Factor Guide so you'll understand why you have to do the things you need to do. Also watch this video for starters: Is Your Ex Dating Someone New? That Could Help You Win Them Back. Good luck!
  57. Deborah
    Hi Brad, i have been with my husband for 8 years, married for 6. He left in August saying that the love had faded and he no longer wanted to have the responsibility of being a husband. We have spoken many times since he left and he says he cares about me and want to be part of my life forever as a friend but that i need to accept that he will never return to our marriage. I love him dearly and want us to try again. Do you think i have any chance of getting him back or should i forget about him and move on?
    • Brad Browning
      I'm sorry you're going through this, Deborah. I have both good news and bad news to your situation the way I see it. The bad news is attraction can't be forced, but the good news is you can do the right things to help facilitate you two getting back together. There is so much more to this than what you've told me on here, so it's not really fair for me to judge the outcome, so I invite you to sign up for my coaching program so I can look deeper into your situation and guide you from there. How were things lately prior to the breakup? Sometimes a couple is too close to each other that they end up blinded by what's really going on around them, this is why you need a fresh unbiased perspective to look at your situation from an objective point of view. For now, do not agree to be friends as this will only keep you stuck in the past. Take time to grieve, accept the situation, and depending on certain factors, I may help you build a new one with him. Stay strong!
  58. Robert
    I may be screwed as I messed up the process pretty badly, but I need to know if there is still any chance. You see, I tried to do the no contact and was managing until one day I needed her to help me fix an account issue which only she could do. After she helped I attempted to re initiate the no contact but when she said "Why haven't you been talking to me?" I broke down. The pain of being alone coupled with the thought of her thinking I was angry or or didn't want her in my life anymore, was too much. We started talking again, tons in fact. I found that while talking I felt loads better, which only fueled more talking. Now I'm wondering if I soiled any chance I had of getting her back. I want to try the no contact again, but I'm afraid that this time it will only push her away forever. I want her back as my girlfriend again, but I also don't want her to abandon me completely if I screw this up. Please help.
  59. Robert
    Also, I'm hoping this little bit of info won't be too much of a problem and make the whole thing pointless. After the break up I moved back to my hometown a state away, which mean when it comes time, asking for a simple face to face outing will not work. Any ideas? I originally got with her online and managed to get her to move in with me after I had got the money I needed to make it possible. Can I make her want to move her with me again?
    • Brad Browning
      Hello Robert, sorry to hear that. Keeping in touch, as well as breaking down in front of her, had been a mistake, but don't be so hard on yourself though as this is a very common mistake -- and it's purely counterproductive. Breakups are never easy, so I understand how this is one of the many challenges people face during this tough time. Anyway how long has it been since the breakup? If you were not able to complete the 30-day rule and the breakup was fairly recent but now she's friend-zoning you, then these should be your cue to try to be strong and stay away for a good while. Watch all my Youtube videos to get some tips or better yet, get my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to navigate through this and won't have to make another mistake. You situation may not be as grim as it sounds, especially if the breakup happened not too long ago, but you have to know how to play your cards right and avoid even an iota of mistake at this point, okay? That's what my book is for. Understand that you need to take this one step at a time as rushing things is another mistake (don't think about moving back in together yet) so you will start to think clearly enough to be able to understand what I wrote on the guide. For starters, also make sure you watch this: Escaping Your Ex Girlfriend's Friend Zone
  60. John
    Hey Brad, I'd appreciate it if you could help me with this. My girlfriend recently broke up with me as she felt that she simply was no longer feeling the attraction that she felt towards me at the beginning of the relationship. So far I am in the process of using the 30 day no contact rule and it is going well. The only problem I have is that we both still see eachother at school every day. To make matters worse I sit next to her. We haven't made any form of digital contact within the 30 day period, which is completely different to what she is used to as we used to endlessly snapchat and come up with hilarious replies to eachother's tweets all the time. On the digital side things are going well but I'm just not too sure about what to do when we see eachother in reality. Any help or advice is more than welcome
    • Brad Browning
      Hi John, sorry to hear that. Cutting off communication though includes social media, so there should have been no contact in any of those sites. You can't rebuild attraction if you continue to act like a friend after being demoted as a boyfriend (realize that this is what she has done to you), there has to be some space first so you both can clear your head. Okay? This video is for you since you have no choice but to see her: How to Act Around Your Ex (Tips for Handling Post-Breakup Encounters). Good luck!
      • John
        Thanks for the reply, I think you may have slightly misunderstood though (most likely my fault). We have completely cut off all communication with eachother through social networks, what I was referring to when I said about heavy Twitter and Snapchat interaction was back when we were together. And what you said about "continuing to act as a friend" isn't entirely accurate. We never talk to eachother anymore. At all. Neither of us are acting like friends. Sorry for correcting you, I probably should have been more specific and clear when describing my situation. Now I've hopefully clarified a little, do you have any other advice? :)
        • Brad Browning
          Right! Sorry I may have misread your message! :-) What I've been trying to say is at this point is since you're still in the process of the 30-day "no contact" rule, be sure to stick to it and not come across as friendly in any way (but don't be rude either) or find excuses to reach out. I know this isn't how you have acted but I just want to point that out since it's a very common but often overlooked mistake. Your ex at this point seemed to have been making huge steps in moving forward, so consider doing the same. The best course of action you can do is to show her that you're okay with the breakup (watch the video I've linked on my previous answer). In addition -- and this is especially true if your relationship was a serious/long-term one -- I understand that there are a lot of variables at play in this situation, so if you can get to really think about the role that you (and her; it always takes two to make or break a relationship) played to the demise of the relationship, see if the issues can be resolved or not, and take action accordingly from that realization. Sometimes people are just two incompatible to sustain a relationship; misaligned goals, clashing of ideas, etc. it's best to look into that and see if that's the case. Good luck and I hope you find the right girl for you soon! :-)
  61. Ava
    Hi, my boyfriend and I have been broken up for about 2 weeks now. We were together for 3 years. We've known each other since middle school and finally became a couple during my first year of college. I needed up coming back home after my first year and we started to get very serious. He asked me to marry him after about 7 months of us being together. After that he was basically homeless because his aunt put him out. Both of his parents are deceased. I started going to another school and I let him stay with me even though it could have meant me being kicked out of school. A year later we ended up moving into our own place and I became ill and didn't work as much. He started to get frustrated because most of the bills were on him. He basically broke up with me because he said he wants to focus on his music career. He feels as though I didn't appreciate him. I didn't do things such as massages as much as he would have liked me too. But I feel as though I dealt with a lot of things from him and never felt like I wanted to break up for good. We've had arguments and I've had to deal with him and "female friends", he never technically cheated but other things to make someone who he said he wanted to be his wife uncomfortable. Ever since he broke up with me he's been saying he still loves me and he still wants to be with me it's just not the right time. He wants me to work harder so that when we come back together we'll have more together. I don't know if I believe that. I moved out about a week ago and I left the lights on because he didn't have money at the time. Now that the lights are in his name whenever we talk theres this distant feeling in his voice. Or maybe he's upset about our situation, I'm not sure. After everything I still love and want him. But ever since the breakup he hasn't been doing anymore music from what he was doing before. Now he just talks to more girls. I don't know how to differentiate what he's been telling me about still wanting me from his actions and flirting with other girls. Today he called me twice and I ignored him because I don't want to be used. I don't want him to feel like he can call and talk and hear my voice whenever he feels like he misses me , but when I want it i don't get it. What should I do?
  62. Brad Browning
    Sorry to hear that. I do hope for your speedy recovery. It does sound like the financial issues may have taken its toll in the relationship --this is very common.Make sure you get this sorted out with yourself first. In other words, try to see if your own life is all set to have a healthy relationship with him by taking care of yourself, watching what you eat, getting a more stable job to pay the bills, especially since you live together. I can't really give a cut and dry answer since I'm not sure how your interaction is with him right now or your living situation, so I suggest that you sign up for my coaching program so I can give you a more specific advice. For now, cut off contact completely for around a month, but if you still live together or have to interact on a daily basis not by choice, but by circumstance, watch this video: How to Act Around Your Ex (Tips for Handling Post-Breakup Encounters) All right? Take care!
  63. huba
    Hey Brad , i have a question , my case is somehow different , we were best friends then we had that spark , then i was somehow needy or caring so much , so from day one in our relationship , he's hesitated and confused , he kept telling me that i'm the only one who trust , he treated me like his GF but he didn't say i love you , he's jealous from my friends so i don't even know if we were in a relationship or not . but he did many things he never do to anyone even his family , he is not used to call anyone daily but he did with me , he's very protective right now my mum get me your book and i read about the 6 deadly sins for that unattractive characters , lately i became needy ambitious less and he became the center of the world , i got panics often , which make him more and more confused and talking about other ambitious girls , so when he lately asked to be friends and even fate made us together again , i didn't know what to say , specially he's having now very hard times and he kept crying don't leave me now , you are all i got .. i don't know what to do really for that .. and i did that quiz and i got 71 out of 100 so i'm afraid to lose him forever , what do you think ?!!
    • Brad Browning
      Hi there, 71 is a pretty good score! I don't know your entire situation though, so it might be best if you sign up for my coaching program so I can look at all the other factors at play, monitor your situation on a daily basis, and guide you accordingly. Anyway from what I can tell now, if you're weren't sure of your status with him to begin with, then I'm willing to be you both need to work on your communication skills -- it's one of the ingredients for a successful relationship. It's either that or you're both just simply incompatible. Whatever the case, being needy is never a good move though. If your panic attacks are serious enough to happen often, I suggest you seek medical treatment as well, and at this point, a relationship shouldn't be your focus. Talk to me via coaching so I can be more specific with my advice. For now, I suggest to take all the time you need and focus on yourself 100% first, okay? Take care!
      • huba
        thank you Brad , yesterday he called me and we had a fight because i wanted to know what he really feels about me , and he said he can't decide yet , and we failed to be friends again , he told me it will be better if we didn't talk again :\ .. if i applied the No Contact rule you wrote about in your book will it be ok ? .. he told me he don't know how far he will miss me .. if he miss our friendship or missing me like a lover .. so i shouldn't call him right ?!! ..he told me also that recently he found that he really cares about me and about my feelings ..
        • Brad Browning
          You're welcome. I really hope for your sake that you've at least given each other space first, and yes, that's what you should be doing now, letting him miss you first, as well as clear his head. Read my book again and watch my Youtube videos, it's a bad idea to ask him or talk about your feelings at this point, as you can see, it only led to more negativity -- space is indeed needed here. Make sure you follow the "attractive traits" I've mentioned in my book and stay strong. You can do it! :-)
  64. Meril
    My boyfriend broke up with me like 10/12 days ago through a text.The text was kind of like this "Please forgive me,I can not marry you.My parents will get hurt".I did not give any reply to that text.It was pretty humiliating for me that he broke up with me just by sending a text,We were together more than 1 year.I blocked him from my viber,skype,whatsapp where we used to text each other.But yesterday i accidentally login to my facebook accout and saw some messages from him.i did not open those,i do not know why.I loved him so much, still love him.But I want to make him feel guilty that what you did to me it is not good.
    • Brad Browning
      I completely understand where you're coming from and I'm sorry to hear that. Unless this was a long distance relationship, breaking up over text was pretty harsh indeed. Continue to give each other space until you get into a clearer state of mind as well as when you're less upset. Focus on other things for now like your career, hobbies, etc. anything to let you take a breather from this upsetting situation. Try not to let it get to you as much as it does, else you might do or say something you might regret later. It also helps if you look back and try to see what really happened in your relationship that led to the breakup and see if those issues can still be resolved or not. Good luck!
  65. Sammy
    Hey Brad, Me and my ex broke up 1 month ago (almost) and I am in love with him. We were together for 3 months and all of a sudden, we broke up. He said his mum asked him to concentrate on studies as these things will destroy him and then he broke up. Also, after a day of breakup or 2 or maybe 3, he said we can be friends and not only friends but best friends forever. I agreed. I read your article '10 things you should never say to your ex' and realized I've done almost everything. I begged, pleaded and did everything I thought would be right to win him back but it didn't work. Nowadays he acts rudely. We decided to talk once evert day for just 5 minutes as he said he WASTES his time talking to me. It sucks. And I agreed. Actually, I don't have many friends and before falling for him, we were best friends. He's the one who proposed me and I accepted. Also, I'm so sure he loves me as he PROVED it EVERYDAY when we were together. I don't know what to do. I don't have.. Umm.. girlfriends. And he's kinda my only friend who knows me so well. I don't know why I can't just help myself and get over him. Maybe I don't want to get over him. We were perfect. So perfect but all of a sudden, he did this. He even didn't recharged his internet pack saying that his mum doesn't allow him. So all in all, he's just getting away, not only from me but all of his friends. I deactivated my Facebook account yesterday. I am trying to start the NC rule from today but I don't know what's stopping me. I need a friend. That's him. Help me, Please?
    • Brad Browning
      Hello Sammy, it's very common to do these mistakes after the breakup and even though I could only wish you'd found this site or my videos sooner, it may not be too late yet if you give it enough time and space. I mean, the best you can do at this point is to be strong and make sure you don't make any more mistakes and start doing the right things instead. Since you've already begged, I suggest to give it at least a month or more of "no contact." Understand that there's really no rushing this process. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to navigate through all this and not mess up whatever chance you have left, okay? Stay strong. Getting an ex back is a process and you have to know what you're doing. :-) I also suggest to check out my Youtube channel so you can get some more tips, in addition to the book I mentioned, which is much more in-depth. Take care!
  66. samrat
    Hi Brad . we study in a same collage. every day i see her it again reminds me the pain of loosing her. what should i do? does talk to her normally or avoid her. please help me please
  67. Jo
    Hi Brad, My boyfriend broke up with me, because he said he likes me a lot, but it is not love and he couldn't continue doing it. I went through a period of begging and pleading, and kinda fed up with myself, and stop contacting him for 2 weeks. I went for a short holiday, started dating again, but in my heart, I still want to have another chance with him. He emailed me few days ago saying he is lonely and he was asking me if I will be mad if he started to date. I told him he should go ahead, even though I didn't mean it. I found an excuse to meet him up again tonight, and we ended up having a meal together, and in fact a very happy time. I didn't plead or mention anything about the breakup. Before we ended the meeting, he told me he still has feeling for me, and I am a good woman, and he hopes he could love me. I don't know what is the next step to be honest, what would I do to make him realize those feeling can turn into love, if we just figure out a way to grow it. Any advice from you please??
    • Brad Browning
      Hello Jo, let him miss you first. He needs to spend time long enough away from you in order to hopefully (you can't force this) realize things. However, if he has really lost attraction, then the next step is to rebuild it because no amount of just talking about it is gonna make it happen. That's the second phase, the first phase is always to cut off contact, so be sure to do that for AT LEAST a month. Get my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about this and/or watch this video: How to Get Your Ex Back (Guide to Reversing a Breakup).
  68. Sarah
    Hi Brad, I'm still so in love with my first love my ex, He has two kids and married, We live in different states, I always contact him. I want to learn how to stop. He seems to me that he likes when I call because we are best friends. But it's so hard. How can I stop this. I want to make him miss me, how does one make one miss another, Please help!!
    • Brad Browning
      Hey Sarah, definitely do not be his friend if you're not over him yet, as that's the surest way to keep you stuck in the past. Take time to be completely okay with being by yourself first before anything else. You already have the answer in your own question. He might miss you once you're gone, never when you're always in touch. Make sense? :-) This relationship is not healthy for you especially since he's happily married. Watch this to give you the closure and try to see if you can relate to it: Is the Situation With Your Ex Hopeless? (When to Give Up Trying to Win Back an Ex) and if you're still unsure how to proceed despite everything I've advised, feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can guide you accordingly on a regular basis, okay? Take care!
  69. Sarah
    Yes Brad, I appreciate all this you are telling me, I told him I cannot call him no more and he asked, Why am I going to do that? If he is so happily married. Why does he still want me to contact him. I have not called him scince. Even though I get tempted to. I pray I can continue not to call him, it's a bad habit, I know deep down inside he still has feeling s, we never separated on bad terms and have always had contact over the years. But it's not healthy for me, so I haven't called him. Thanks Brad,
  70. Frankie
    Hi brad, my ex broke up with me 4 weeks ago. She told me she wants to focus on herself and that she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now.She claims to not want ANYONE and that if she wanted to she could (just to convince me). We work at the same place and since the break up she ignores me and acts like i don't exist. i haven't spoken to her or tried to for a week now. I really miss her since she was more than just my girlfriend, she's my bestfriend and it kills me that we don't talk. Do you have any advice?
    • Brad Browning
      Sorry to hear that, Frankie. You need to watch this to help you understand your situation: "It's Me, Not You (And Other Common Breakup Excuses)" Give her space and let her come to you first. It's important that you accept the situation and not try to push it. Be upbeat and fun if she reaches out (stop initiating contacts if that's what you've been doing) and generally just get on with your life happy. Easier said than done, I know. There's more to this, but I can't explain them all on here since it's a 130+ page e-book. Check that out for a more in-depth explanation. Good luck, man!
  71. Roos
    Hi Brad, So my boyfriend dumped me 1 week ago. We had a relationship for 1 year and 8 months and I really tought he was "the one". Everyone always said that we made such a good couple and we have been through a lot and always come out stronger. But now out of the blue for me he dumped me. He said that his feeling were gone, he still loved me but not in that way anymore. I'm really heartbroken and want him back. I never noticed that his feelings were fading, he still wanted to see me like 4 times in the week (we dont live together), made plans for the near by future and was really sweet when texting. So when he broked up with me I really didnt saw it coming. He is 21 and im 20. I have spoken a little bit through whatsapp to make an appoitment to get my stuff back and to talk, and he was really nice. So over a week we are going to talk. I really want to do the no contact rule, but do you think it still help if i do it after the talk? Thanks, Roos
    • Brad Browning
      Don't get your stuff back (unless you really need to) unless you got yourself together first. He has lost attraction and the only way it can be regained is through space and you playing your cards right. This video can help you understand: What Your Ex Meant by "It's Not You, It's Me (or Any Other Common Excuse)" For now, follow through with the 30-day period of "no contact" and focus on yourself. Go to the gym, get a new hobby, learn a new skill, etc. Read my Ex Factor Guide if you're still unsure on how to go about this. Take care!
  72. antonia
    Me and my ex had a bad breakup a year and half ago. He was dating someone until a month ago and he broke it off. During his relation ship with his ex we stayed friends or a little more than friends at times. Before he ended his relationship he kept making it seem as though we were gonna get back together once he ended things with her. But now he says he wants to stay single. Meanwhile were still sleeping together. He says were not together but were more than friends. Please help what should i do?
    • Brad Browning
      He's clearly not looking for anything serious with you for whatever reason. Try to see what the real deal is. I wouldn't know for sure unless I know more about your situation, so sign up for my coaching program instead. You can choose to do this too by taking some time alone in retrospect from an objective point of view. Tread carefully on this. Take care!
  73. Derek
    Hi Brad. My ex and I dated on and off for a couple of months, she is very independent and struggled having me in her life, she'd want me then get claustrophobic, push me away, we'd chat then get back together until she finally said no more. She still cares tremendously for me and loves me to bits but not in a romantic way anymore. We've been split a coue of months now but still chat, see each other for coffee and dinner and days out. We both suggest these things so not all one sided and we both have a great time together. She collapsed recently and I was the person she wanted calling my the gym to go to her side, she told me it was because I'd be free over her friends who may not be, I see it as who she really wanted by her side. Each time we'd split up in the past wed eagerly give it another go yet she seems not to want too this time round. She tells me she will be massively jealous when the next lady comes in to my life and hopes that we can all be friends with new partners and still go out for dinners etc. am I reading all this as there are still feelings there? She has been massively let down in her past and I worry that she is too scared to commit to me increase I too let her down and that affects her life.
    • Brad Browning
      Hello Derek, what were the things you broke up about? Being "claustrophobic" is a red flag, especially seeing how she comes to you for her convenience. I'm not saying this is bad, just don't ignore this fact and tread carefully, okay? :-) She may not be ready for anything serious, so that's something you should consider as well. Proceed with caution. Giving space always helps since it lets her sort out what she needs and wants in her life, so try not to be too available for her. If she has emotional baggage from her past experience, that's something only she can deal with. Good luck, man!
  74. kimmy
    Hey Brad! My ex boyfriend broke up with me almost three weeks ago. We were in a long distance relationship for close to two years. I knew his family and they love me! We never got to meet due to money situations, and we had something attainable planned this summer but we're not together anymore, obviously. We had a bit of a toxic relationship and I understand why he broke up with me, we really do need to work on ourselves, and perhaps in the future when we are both well and in better places in our lives we could hook up again. But he already seems to be interested in another girl (who's also long distance).. and I was hoping it was a rebound, but he's TRYING to be serious with her and NOT "trying to make her feel like a rebound", which worries me. He says that having her around is really, really great and that he should wait about a month or so until they officially get together or whatever.. I started NC on the 16th, but had very very short convos with him after due to it being my birthday. I'm not sure what to do, I feel hopeless. I'm not sure if NC will actually work because apparently he already has gotten over his romantic feelings for me and just thinks of me as a close, important person in his life.. I'm also scared that she'd be able to go see him whenever she wanted to and that'd create a closer bond than we had..
    • Brad Browning
      Hi Kimmy, sorry to hear that. You shouldn't have to find out how his new relationship goes, as this is really very counterproductive for you and will only be a source of worry. You don't need that right now. You're right though, try to focus on yourself (as well as the things you can control) and work on whatever changes you need to make for you to be ready for a relationship -- whether with your ex or with someone new. All right? Take care!
  75. Grant
    Hi Brad. First of all, great advice in your videos. I'm 44 and have been going out with a 32 year old woman for about a year. We've known each other for about 10 yrs, and have casually hooked up a couple of times during that time. Last year we started seeing each other more often and were dating, but still keeping our independence, which we both agreed we wanted. After a while we admitted we loved each other but a month ago she got very drunk and said some terrible things to me which she has no recall of doing and was very apologetic. I forgave her but said I needed a couple of days to get over what she said. Anyway, a fortnight ago she tells me that because "I want more from this relationship and you left the door open for someone else", she was going on a date last Saturday. I asked if there was any chance for us as I love and miss her, and if she still loved me, and she replied she didn't think so, and that she didn't know how she felt about me, she felt numb. I went straight to NC. Since then she has text a few times asking to be friends and wondering why I haven't talked to her always with xx at the end. (Not reading too much into that though.) So my question (sorry for the long winded intro) is, should I remain in NC (almost 2 weeks now) or reply to her texts about staying friends (obviously saying no)? Many thanks and keep up the good work. Grant.
    • Brad Browning
      Hey there, Grant! Sorry to hear you're going through this. I don't buy the "being drunk to remember" story. I'm not saying this is the case, since I obviously have to know more before getting any conclusion, but her being drunk may just be an excuse to what she has been feeling for you all along. Have you noticed signs of her distancing herself away from you prior to all this? It's the little things that count. No amount of talking to her will get her back since attraction is built naturally, so that was a mistake on your part, but kudos to you for giving each other space and yes, continue to do so until at least about a month. You don't want to be an option here. Get my coaching program so I can guide you accordingly on a daily basis as well as know more about your story. Okay? Talk to you soon!
  76. Joycelyn
    Hi Brad, So my boyfriend dumped me 1 month ago. We had a relationship for 1 year and I really tought he was "the one". Everyone always said that we made such a good couple and both parents were happy for us to be together. But now out of the blue for me he dumped me. He said that his feeling were gone. He said I'm more like a sister to him because I'm elder than him 2 years.He still loved me but not in that way anymore. For your information, the last message was written by him " Thank you for your unconditional loves, It was my fault too suggesting to start this relationship but after all we went on for a year. Relationship is a process and it takes two persons commitment and being able to truly like each other. I don't want to give you hope. I don't think you prefer me to continue with you but i am not fully into this relationship, right? Your sacrifice of love and promises of course i do see but the feelings wasn't right. I am suppose to text you everyday without having to force text you just to makesure you feel good.And it is true if things happen, it happens. Perhaps you will meet someone even better than me or perhaps if we meant for each other it would different too from the coming days.") I'm really heartbroken and want him back. I never noticed that his feelings were fading, he told me to remain as friend. We don't see each other but he still message me after the breakup . I really want to do the no contact rule, but do you think our relationship going to works ?
    • Brad Browning
      Sorry to hear about the breakup and I completely understand where you're coming from. What your ex is telling you is he's losing emotional attraction for you, but in some capacity, wants to keep you in his life. This isn't good for you as you need to process your own feelings first and accept the situation, first and foremost, so cut off contact for at least a month until you get yourself together, okay? Read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about this and familiarize yourself with the concept here: How to Get Your Ex Back (Step-by-Step Guide to Reversing a Breakup) Take care and stay strong!
  77. Lisette
    Hey! I wonder if this program to get your boyfriend back when he split up because of he want back to his ex-wife who he hasn't seen for 3 years. They have kids together.
  78. Princesa
    Brad! Help! I took your 'Get your ex back' quiz and the result report recommended I read this article. I did and it was an eye opener! I met my ex 6 months ago and we have incredible chemistry and happy energy together...everyone picks up how compatible we are. But, (and here comes the but statement) he's had a tough rough childhood, wasn't loved as a little boy and he lost 2 family members as a teenager. Yet, he's a loving man, very considerate, thoughtful, gentle and I have no doubt that he's loved me sincerely the past few months. He's a pure example of 'show me & don't tell me'! When it comes to commitment, he's shared in a conversation I've opened up about the future that having children doesn't mean anything to him and that he doesn't believe in marriage. He's 48 yrs and never engaged or married but had 4 long-term relationships. He was hoping that I would accept to be in a long-term relationship with him and not think marriage, but that's impossible because I've shared my goals about being married and having a family. To make a long story short, I ended up asking him to either consider a serious commitment if he truly loves me or that we need to separate. He told me he was shocked and didn't expect that to happen...at that point, I've also asked him to take time to think and not send me any emails or sms or call so I can take time to reflect and heal. I had no doubt that he'll respect my wish and it's been almost 2 weeks now that we've had NO CONTACT whatsoever. It's hard...courage! Do you think he may consider us moving towards a serious relationship? He was the just-right man and it took me 4 years before I could find him. We made plans to travel together this summer and booked our flights for June. If we remain disconnected till then, should I send a text message beyond the 30-day no contact? I'm confused, disturbed...this breakup has been the hardest since I've had high hopes it'll be HIM...I'm 35years old and haven't managed to keep love, yet. Please help!
    • Brad Browning
      Hello there, yes, the articles on here are very helpful. Thanks for the support! Feel free to share it to your friends, I'd really appreciate it as well. :-) Anyway don't feel bad about stepping up and assessing your needs and wants in your relationship -- in your case, asking for marriage -- since not doing so may cause resentment to build up. Read my other articles regarding this. It seems like you're on the right track by taking the time off and giving each other space. Continue to do so until a month or so (I know it's very difficult), he'd most likely reach out as long as you do the right things for yourself and not aggravate the situation, okay? Read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know exactly how to go about it and therefore get a peace of mind that you're doing all the right things. Good luck!
  79. April
    Hi Brad, My ex and I broke up 2 months ago (he initiated it because -- his reasons are: he said he doesnt feel the same way anymore and he thinks we will not be happy in the future (we've dated for more than a year) ) After that, of course, I begged and pleaded for about a month (I know! Wrong!) but then when I stopped doing it he would randomly message me. Never comes a time that we would reach 2 weeks without chatting! Although when he messaged me it would take me days before I reply to him. Thank God I saw your program and purchased it - I'm on my 2nd week in the 'No Contact' phase. He hasn't reached out yet. Right now, I feel fine and not depressed of what happened, I came to accept that we are no longer together and I'm on a dating website, going out and planning on traveling which is going well. I always think about him though - that's why I want to get him back. He's a great guy, I love him and would patiently give us both the space that we need for now. Do you think I still have a chance? Thanks! :)
    • Brad Browning
      Hello April, thanks for getting my program! Now be sure to follow it down to a tee. :-) I don't know enough about your situation to figure out whether there's already enough damage done or not, but keep up with doing the good work of following my guide since it's focused to your best interest, above all else, okay? You're on the right track by doing the things you've mentioned and reaching to a stage of acceptance, that is always the first step. It's tough, but hang in there. Take care!
  80. Angelita Broce
    Hi brad! Actually Im a Filipina and I admire those videos and advices you have. More views and Goodluck :)
    • Brad Browning
      Why thank you for the support, Angelita! Please feel free to like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my future videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
  81. Sarah
    Hello, My boyfriend, well, ex boyfriend I should say, just broke up with me about three days ago. Everywhere I look it says that I need to have a no contact period, which is great and all but I am placed in a bit of a unique situation. Number one, we dated for two years. But before this we dated for about three months, then broke up and were BEST FRIENDS for six months. Then when we got back together is what marked the start of the 2 years. So he wants that again (frankly so do I, even though it might be painful), which would be extremely difficult to ignore him in that situation. Exception number 2: I have a class with him four days a week. So it is a little hard to ignore him in person, and to be honest, I don't want to ignore him in person. SO what do you suggest I do in my situation?
    • Brad Browning
      Just show him that you accept the situation for what it is and not have a vision of how it should be. Let go of the outcome since it will only tend to do nothing but consume your thoughts -- that's not good, given the history. I agree, it's quite unique situation and as such, I need to take a look at the situation as a whole, since I don't really wanna make any wild guesses at the expense of your relationship. Make sense? Get my coaching program so I can monitor your case and guide you on a regular basis. Take care!
  82. Darrein
    Hey Brad, Me & my girlfriend broke up about a month ago & we've been talking about everyday since then. We broke up because we were constantly arguing & I couldn't trust her. She recently moved out of her parents house in with her friends who I believe don't like me Because she's bad mouthed me & wants to get back with me but won't because her friends are in the picture. She says she loves me & also told me chase her & she's forever mine. It feels like I'm kind of stuck between a rock & a hard place. Everyone tells me to just move on & others tell me she'll come back. What should I do?
    • Brad Browning
      She may just be on an ego trip. What really happened that led to the breakup, though? That could give you loads of clues. Give it time though to refocus on yourself. Giving space always helps until you get to think clearly. Take care!
  83. Kevin
    Hi Brad. My gf broke up with me and we were in a long distance relationship. She joined FB and became social with her friends and I thought I wasn’t getting enough time and so I talked about it. But I was wrong. She was giving me her full time. Further I became jealous as other guys started flirting with her on FB. I even tried to control her sometimes. She started to think that I don’t trust her which was not true. I trusted her fully. I even said things which I shouldn’t have said. I know I have shown wrong behavior and I even apologized to her. Initially she forgave me but things started to get worse. She started fighting with me for no reason and after four days she broke up with me. I apologized for my behavior and promised that it won’t happen again. I told her that my behavior was because I cared for her so much. But still my behavior was wrong and I realized it. I asked sorry but she didn’t listen to anything and broke up with me. She said that my behavior is not forgivable and now she doesn’t want to come in relation with me and she even said that it is good we remain friends. We loved each other so much and we were happy together but my jealousy just killed the attraction and she broke up. I know that jealousy kills the attraction and I feel very guilty for my behavior. I love her so much and want her back but I don’t know how to make her realize that I have changed and won’t repeat my behavior. Should I start the no contact period or should I keep contact with her? If I keep contact with her then is there a chance that she will realize that I have changed and she can come back with me? I am so confused. Please help me Brad.
    • Brad Browning
      Too many negativities have been going around lately, so cut off contact first. Okay? You both need to get your heads cleared first, all right? Don't try to force the issue or try to resolve it right away. Be patient as it may do you good now. Attempting to talk, I feel, would jsut lead to another conflict. Besides, if you really think it's your behaviour that needs changing, then work on yourself. Understand that this takes time, so again, don't rush it. Take care!
      • Kevin
        hi Brad. Its Kevin. I followed your advice and cut off contact with her. i am on my 21st day of no contact period. She hasn't reached out to me during this period . I have also been working on myself during this period . I recently visited her place as i had my exam there and she knew that i would be coming but as i was in no contact period so i decided not to call her and meet up with her. I don't know what i did was right or wrong. Recently she asked a mutual friend about me that how i was doing. I don't know what i should do next. Should i wait for her to contact me first or should i contact her ? . Thankss !!!
        • Brad Browning
          Hey Kevin, her asking about you is a good sign, but that's not enough yet. Give it around two more weeks before reaching out to her and test the waters. You ought to read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about it. You can also watch my Youtube videos, but the guide is much more in-depth. Good luck!
  84. Jay
    Hey man my name is jay and I'm 19 and I'm in a long distance relationship and my girl just broke up with me last weak because she just wants space and alone time with no boyfriend or anything and be free, also wants to get over her ex that she misses but I'm scared to lose her and we only live like 4 hours away but it's hard to commute to her every weekend and I'm so committed to her and we love each other but she can't do long distance she said its so hard and she misses me and she wants me there physically but i don't know what else to do to get her back and fall for me like she did when we first got together. It just seems like now she doesn't like me as she did before and I'm in love with her and we talked about getting married together and I told her I'll come back for her but she can't move here by me because she'll miss her family and I can't move back because my family won't let me yet. Just yesterday she told me she lost feelings for me couple months after i moved and she felt bad because it wasnt fair to me. She said she got use to being alone and she liked it and then lost feelings for me and started to miss her ex which she was with for a year and broke up with him and 2 weeks later got with me, so that's why she wants space and be herself and get over him. Before we got together we were best friends, so we went from being best-friends to a couple and all her friends liked me and said i treated are amazing, my other friends that hung out with her told me she talked about me and how she misses me and misses the things we use to do and she(ex) even told me i was perfect and no one has ever treated her like this before and said no guy will treat her as good as me but then she lost feelings for me and said shes stress free after the break up and I have been stressing a lot telling her how i love her miss her and want her back and apologized but she just seemed to not care. Now she just wants to be friends like before we got together and doesn't want to ruin our friendship. Shes also been hanging out with her coworker (another guy) but she said hes only a friend and our first argument we got into was because of him and ever since we broke up shes been hanging out with him a lot lately but she said no one really asks her to hangout and he does so she hangs out with him and shes going out of town with him and her other friends over summer, because she likes having physical attention (in general) and she hates having to need psychical attention. I haven't talked to her since yesterday and I also agreed to be her friend for NOW. She told me our mutual friend she wants to start over and work it out this summer when i go see her but like 3 days ago she told me "i don't know" shes so confused on what she wants right now and shes happy being single for now.
  85. amany
    Hi Brad, I'm the one who suggest the breakup in aggressive way, it's come after cheating and feeling that someone take my boyfriend from me, when he become unsure if to answer me or to meet me or not. then I suggested to be "friends" but even doesn't work, and it's hurt me more to know about the new love. still want him back as a boyfriend, what should I do ? will be grateful for the advice.
    • Brad Browning
      Sorry to hear about the breakup. If he has really been cheating on you, though... then breaking up with him may be a blessing in disguise. Would you really stay with someone who's unfaithful to you? How would you view your life with him years, possibly with kids down the line, and he cheats? Think about that first. Whatever the case, I suggest you always give it more time and space and/or consider moving on. If there's to be a reconciliation, it would have to be through him making the effort and not the other way around, okay? Take care and I hope you find the right man for you soon!
  86. Dillon
    We have a kid together and she is talking and hanging out with someone else all I want is her back what do I do?
    • Brad Browning
      I'm sorry, but the situation you've described here is not enough for me to make anything concrete of. How long are you two broken up? What's your current situation? Are you still living together? More importantly, what steps have you taken to get her back? Sign up for my coaching program instead so I can look into your situation more clearly and figure out what's going on, then guide you on a regular basis. Okay?
  87. Dillon
    Hey brad. My name is Dillon me and my gf broke up about a week and a half ago and I live her with all my heart and want to be with her we have a kid together but she says she has feeling for someone else and is talking to him and hanging out with him everyday. I have a 3 year old and she is willing to watch her but want to take her around him and I don't want my 3 year old around him. Her mom told her she needs to watch my 3 year old until her mom got done doing something for a couple of hours and she texted me raising cane and mad at me when I didn't do anything and she come got our kid and left with the other dude and said that her and our daughter would be living with him eventually and I want her back what do I do
    • Brad Browning
      Sorry to hear about the breakup, Dillon. At this point, try NOT to initiate contact with her yet -- unless it's about your kid together. Let her reach out to you in her own time and pace, don't chase. I suggest to use this time to why she broke up with you... and the real reason why she broke up with you. In years of coaching clients, I found both of these reasons to be at odds with each other. Until you find out the real reason, it would be a very tough challenge for you to make concrete steps to get her back, so use this time to look at things, as much as possible, from an objective perspective, okay?
      • Dillon
        Hey brad. It's Dillon and I finally moved out of my ex gf house and she seems to be a little nicer to me and I haven't been texting her or calling her and she calls me 2 to 3 times maybe more a day about our kid and then starts talking about other things and she acts like she is kinda flirting with me idk what to do I always tell her I have to do something when she keeps talking about other things and she seems to get mad when ever I do that and then texts me if u could give me some advice on what to do I would really appreciate it and I would love to do your coaching email also would live to get your book but I don't have the money right now and I don't want it to be to late and her stay with the dude she is talking to now.thanks
        • Brad Browning
          The coaching program is mainly for me keep track of what's going on since, as you know, there's more to a situation that can go beyond one or two paragraphs and I really don't want to make any wild guesses and/or give advice at the expense of your relationship. Make sense? Thanks for understanding! As a general advice, however, her being mad at you may be a good sign. It shows that she still cares. On your end, be sure to not be overbearing, just go with the flow and keep things fun and light. Now I'm not sure which phase you're in (be sure to follow the 30-day "no contact" rule first and foremost) and in time, when the lines of communication are supposed to be open, let her initiate contact as well. There has to be balance. Good luck!
  88. Alaa
    Hello Brad I have broke up with my fiance 4 months ago now he is engaged with another girl I want to get back with him I really miss and need him now we communicate as friends only if I stopped being friend with him, how I can get him back since he is living in another country now, so we can't meet each other in person ? many thanks for you
    • Brad Browning
      I'm very sorry to hear about the broken engagement. I don't think it's a good idea for you to be in touch. Being friends in the hopes of getting them back rarely ends well as it will keep you stuck unto the past and all the while, being there for him. Don't let him have the best of both worlds and sacrifice your own happiness for his sake, all right? Take time to heal first. If you've read my Ex Factor Guide, you have to give at least a month of "no contact." Take care!
  89. Dillon
    Hey brad it's dillon again I went to eat lunch with her parents and her so I could see my daughter and it's like she is flirting with me she is like hitting me and playing around what should I do I know she was going to be their I just went to see my daughter?
    • Brad Browning
      Hi Dillon, sorry for the late response. I really need to view the situation as a whole and not just one incident after another, if I were to be effective as a coach. Sign up for my coaching program so I can put you on first priority as well and I'll have you sorted. The coaching program also helps me keep track of what's going on since, as you know, there's more to a situation that can go beyond one or two paragraphs... and I really don't want to make any wild guesses and/or give advice at the expense of your relationship. Make sense? Thanks for understanding!
  90. Alexa
    Hi Brad. I dated my ex boyfriend for over a year, we started off as friends and later became intimate. We loved each other very much or i loved him very much and we had a lot of things in common. We had a fight 3 weeks ago but couldn't get past it. I had initially done all the wrong things (begging, trying to convince him we were meant to be together, Called and txt twice) A week ago he came clean and ended it with a stern face. i was so devastated, i cried, was depressed and angry, so i decided that it was time to cease control of my emotions went online seeking help. I found alot of helpful tips which i have been following. the issue now with the no contact rule is that my ex lives in the same building as i do. ( i don't go to look for him, call or even txt him anymore). He on the other hand comes to my apartment to apologize for breaking my heart and to see how we could get past this. i have resolved not to be friends with him but also not to be rude to him. i really don't know what to do anymore because i want to win him back. pls whats your advice
    • Brad Browning
      I'm not sure I understood correctly. Are you saying that your ex is paying you constant visits because he's trying to reconcile or that he only wants to be friends? If it's the latter, then that's not a very wise move for you to agree. I've explained it in many of my videos, which you should probably check out, among many others, is this: 5 Mistakes that Could Ruin Your Chances of Getting Back Together which are often common yet also overlooked mistakes in every breakup. Continue to be strong and cut off contact for at least a month, if you try to rush this, it will only damage the chances. It would probably do you good to read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about this. All right? Good luck!
  91. Joseph
    Brad you are on point with this "ex" stuff. Four years ago my girlfriend moved to another state. I never understood why she always kept in contact with me. Every time we talked she made me think that she sincerely wanted to know how I was doing. She would tell me everything about her current life in her new state: her new job, her mother, her new church, AND her new boyfriend (why do they tell men about the new guy?) About a month ago she came back again to visit. She asked me about my love life and assumed I had a girlfriend because of pictures she saw on my IG. When she went back to her new home about two weeks later she posted a pic of her on the beach romantically involved with some guy. I lost it, my heart fell into my stomach, and I rapidly deleted her from FB. I deleted all of our text conversations. The only thing I haven't done yet is change my number and set my IG to private. But now I know I gave her what she wanted. I think she wanted to know if I still had feelings for her. She could've just asked.
    • Brad Browning
      Thank you for sharing your story, Joseph, and yes, unfortunately, your case is an example as to why I always suggest to cut off contact with an ex. With my coaching clients, I do not recommend for them to be friends -- unless there's a solid action plan; this is my job as a relationship coach. Do not stay in touch, as it will only keep you stuck in a rotten place and I completely understand where you come from, you were too close to the situation to view things in an objective perspective. Let go of this now and make it a plan to work on yourself fully, since I think this is something you have deprived yourself of. Take care and I hope you find the right girl for you soon!
  92. oscar sanchez
    Hi brad i need some help. Me and my ex girlfriend broke up like 35 months ago and i tried to go back with her. We are friends but we bearly talk to each other and the brake up was on my mistakes and i tried for a change and she maybe. But the first month she kissed me and i kissed her back. We had things during the break up but everything changed when she meet a friend. I dont know she reads them but ignores me and when i ignore her so i can do my day she gets mad at me. I told all my feelings to her and she said she wont leave me alone and that she still loves me. But the way i see she dose not love me she keeps texting the guy while we hang out. i dont know what to do i cried for her too many times and i still do.
    • Brad Browning
      Oscar, has this always been the theme of the almost three years you were broken up? If so, then I'm sorry but she likely won't choose you since from the way I see it, you're not holding your ground. Have you tried cutting off contact and staying strong with your resolve to get on with your life? People -- yes, men and women alike -- won't really feel the need to work for your attention if you're always the one giving it openly. Be scarce with your attention instead, don't make her a priority when she's clearly treating you as an option. Sign up for my coaching program since I supposed there's enough history and stuff going on at present that I need to take into consideration so I can give you an advice specific to your situation, all right? Good luck!
  93. Charlie
    Hi Brad and thanks for great texts! Me and my girlfriend broke up 2 weeks ago after 2 years relationship, we both wanted it to end that day. But I immediately regret it the day after. I felt complete lost and didn't know what to do. For the 5 days after that I think I did all the mistakes that you have said can be done. For example Writing beautiful things to her, say sorry for everything you can think of and even sent flowers to her office 2 days after. After a week I decided to take a break from talking to her and that felt better. But yesterday we met up at the pub and talked and it felt really good to just talk. Even though it hurts that she cant say and will not say those things that I want to hear from her. After that "Date" she sent to me that she was home safe etc and she also said that "I really had a good time". I still love her deeply and she has some sort of feelings for me. But she refuse to tell them to me of course. She keeps telling me that There isn't a way back right now. But I can see that she really enjoy her time with me. My question is: Do you think there is a chance? And how do I proceed now to get her back? Should I stop talk again or continue talking after that date we recently had? Many thanks,
    • Brad Browning
      Hello Charlie, the complete steps on how to go about getting her back are found on my Ex Factor Guide, check that out. I can't explain it all on here, it's a little complicated. As a general advice, it's important that you both take adequate time off first, all right? Around a month of complete silence should be enough. Do not rush it since a situation with an ex is fragile. Don't be needy. Stop asking to get back together or anything, be mindful of the mistakes here while you remain in no contact: 5 Mistakes that Could Ruin Your Chances of Getting Back Together.
  94. Ralph
    Hey Brad great article my gf broke up with me about 2 months ago. I was an annoying wreck the first two to three weeks and decided to stop and move on she would call or ask to cone over almost every week and I love her so I always got sucked in. Now I tried to cut her off bUT she'll call and keep calling then I'd pick up and she would ask to come over and she did and we had sex. Then about one week later she came over and slept over but she still doesn't want to pursue a relationship and I feel like she is using me for an escape from real life. Thanks alot
    • Brad Browning
      Hello Ralph, try not to give her all the power here. Right now, you're going by her own pace while completely disregarding your own wants and needs. But I gotta say, her sleeping with you is a good sign! Perhaps you just need to be a little more patient, and be sure you do the right things in order to get her back. You can't rush this. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about this with confidence and not second-guess yourself. All right? Good luck, man!
  95. Julia
    Hi Brad, my ex and I dated for 8 months after he courted me for almost a year. He dumped me about 2 months ago because I lied to him (I later came clean). During those two months we have tried to remain civil and in contact but it always ends in a fight and in an attempt to stay away from each other. In our latest fight, I was jealous and asked him about a female friend in his profile picture, and it ended with him saying we should never contact each other again and i respectfully agreed and promised not to text him again. During that last fight he said "I was even going to ask you for coffee tomorrow so we can catch up but now I want nothing to do with you". I feel like I've really messed up this time. It has been 10 days since then and I have kept my promises.Its extremely difficult. There is one thing tho, we have been subtweeting each other on twitter. I call him pet names and he tweets about missing me and all that. What should I do now. Still wait 31 days or should I start contacting him. I am going to stay off Twitter for a while because most of my tweets are becoming about him and less of his tweets are about me. Im scared that if I wait 30 days, he will move on and get over me. My last tweet was just one of my petnames for him and a heart emoji. What should I do now. I really want him back.
    • Brad Browning
      Julia, looking at how you have seemed to have skipped the "no contact" phase, I suggest you do that first. Give yourself time to heal first. Depending on what your issues are, 9 times out of 10, it's only likely going to get worse if you attempt to stay in touch --as with your case here. Give each other space to think things through and get over the negativity. I assume you've already sincerely apologized to him for the lie, the next thing would have been to leave him be and let him process his emotions and decide what he really feels and how he really wants to move forward. Watch this: How to Get Your Ex to Forgive You Okay? Take care!
      • Julie
        Brad, please help me. I did no contact and I used the texts correctly and we met to catch up and it was all wonderful, but I think he is putting me in the friendzone. He definitely is treating me like just a friend. He doesnt seem romantically interested in me at all though he is very friendly and all. It's like he has fallen out of love with me. And I dont want to bring up anything about a relationship incase that scares him away or brings back old negative feelings. What should I do? Please help me :( We had dumped me 3 months ago because I betrayed him. We were together for almost a year.
        • Brad Browning
          Betrayal adds a lot of twists to the reconciliation process. I admit it will be slightly more difficult than your usual breakup, but given the right time and you doing the right things can turn the situation around -- if you have patience. Now...understand that patience is very much needed as much as good judgment (some people simply cannot forgive) and they are all key elements that you need to have if you really see him in your future. Okay? Sign up for my coaching program so I can look at your situation more clearly and therefore be in a situation to give sound advice as to what to do next that will put you in the best position to forgive you and get him back; this varies in every case. Talk to you soon!
  96. Julie
    Brad, please help me. I did no contact and I used the texts correctly and we met to catch up and it was all wonderful, but I think he is putting me in the friendzone. He definitely is treating me like just a friend. He doesnt seem romantically interested in me at all though he is very friendly and all. It's like he has fallen out of love with me. And I dont want to bring up anything about a relationship incase that scares him away or brings back old negative feelings. What should I do? Please help me :( We had dumped me 3 months ago because I betrayed him. We were together for almost a year.
  97. Tkevah Morton
    Hey name is Tkevah Morton Me n my ex boyfriend been break up for a year now I know it not might b a good idea us been friend but all I know we are talking again cuz he was so upset with me he didn't talk me for a while n he still have feelings for me cuz we both was crying on the phone but anyway back to the point I want to know should I move on or fight for his love. Cuz I love him n never did stop loving him after all the hurt he put me thru well we both hurt each other but I txted him told him I still care about him was that a bad idea? He start want to come over at 1 clock in morning over his house should I go over there? Please help me out
    • Brad Browning
      Moving on or fighting for his love is completely your choice, but if you want to do it right, I suggest to read my Ex Factor Guide first, so you'll have an idea on how to go about this and/or avoid doing any further damage to your relationship, okay? Give yourself time to think and let things calm down a bit first, so don't talk to him for at least a month, and yes, being friends is a bad idea. Take care!
  98. Frank
    Hi Brad, I could really need some advice. I only did No Contact rule for 1 week. After that it felt better and she is talking to me in a nicer way finally! Now we have regular contact and have also been on a date. She seems happy when she is with me but she still needs time and is not ready. My question is how do I proceed from this? Should I try No Contact for 30 days from now or should I continue talking to her? I know that she is missing me, but I want her to say and show that. Thanks,
    • Brad Browning
      Depending on the issues in your relationship and what has caused the breakup in the first place, I say it's generally NOT a good idea to be back in touch too soon. It is completely your choice to either continue seeing her or cut of communication. I apparently can't tell which is best in your situation granted I know close to nothing about it. Sign up for my coaching program if you must, so I can guide you accordingly. I would still stick to my general advice and cut off contact with her to regain yourselves first. I won't go into details why it has to be 30 days of no communication, my Ex Factor Guide offers an in-depth explanation on why this is the case. Good luck, man!
  99. Nishant
    Hey Brad, Im in a very bad situation...we were in relation for 4 years and were deeply in love, things changed last month when her parents started looking match fix with her relative...She wants to get married in her parents presence as she is the only daughter for them., she told about me in her house but they declined, broke her sim cards, disconnected with outer world by deactivating all social networks theough which we could have met and even fasten the marraige process, 2 weeks back I met her secretly and done the wrong thing of begging and pleading her...she was ok for 3 days and suddenly she told that her parents are fixing up the match and situation is out of her hands and told she is not suitable for me and left me. Then I've started no contact rule. Its been 12 days and Im missing her alot and even I know that she is missing me, she did not ditched me but she left me because of her parents force for marrying other guy they like. Now, the point is that there is no source of contacting her...how should I meet her after no contact period to give her letter., is there any alternative that she contacts me or she comes to me all the way from her parents...Help me out Brad please.
    • Brad Browning
      Hi there, sorry to hear you're in a tough position. The thing is, it has to be her decision to choose you over her parent's decision. No force in the world can change that, but you can at least start doing the right things first, okay? Start by cutting off contact so she gets to think clearly. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about it. Good luck!
  100. Nishant
    She is from an orthodox family and respects her parents alot, the reason why she is not coming to me back. We even had great loving physical chemistry many few times in the four years which I cant forget because they are eunning in my mind daily and canr believe that she is ok for the guy their parents have seen for her but forcefully, she does not want to get married with him, but situation is not in her hands. She is a but coward type of person to come out of parents chain. Will no contact rule give her time to come to me? Give me few tactics to reach her after no contact period Brad...
  101. Nishant
    Thanks Brad...its been 17 days till now that Im not in contact with her, Im following the no contact rule as you said Brad...Im hitting gym now and getting over negative thoughts, Sure that she is missing me alot Brad coz she loves me the most and Im being active in facebook and watsapp where she observes what am I doing, dont know why but Im damn sure that she will come for me one day...hope for the best :) ..
    • Brad Browning
      Good to hear you're actively taking steps to help yourself, man... that is always a plus! :-) Be sure to check out my Youtube videos where you get free tips and read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll be guided completely every step of the way, all right? Good luck and keep up the good work!
  102. Tiffany
    Hi Brad me and my ex are currently in the dreaded 'friend zone'... the no contact thing didn't happen and we have been talking every day over whatsapp. I honestly don't know if too much has happened to fix us. we've agreed to go on a date in 2 weeks so we would have been broken up for a month by the time this happens... but i think i'm still angry with him over what's happened and he is angry too. Just moved to my own place and trying desperately trying to get a job and a lot of my friends either live far away or are busy a lot so finding it really hard to distract myself :( any advice?
    • Brad Browning
      Most of the time, a breakup can still be turned around, especially if you do the right things. Which phase are you in? If you've successfully completed the "no contact" phase, then play the second phase right. I can't explain it all on here, it's a bit complicated, but all you have to do really is read my Ex Factor Guide But seeing how you're still 2 weeks in, then you still have a long way to go. The question is are you ready to put in the necessary work? Watch this free video: How to Stop Yourself from Contacting Your Ex.
  103. Luis
    I currently brike up with my girlfriend 2 weeks ago.. She initially said yes to being friends and nothing more, but by me iteying to get her back i have pushed that option aWay. It seems as shes talking to her ex.. What do i do?
  104. Brad Browning
    How long has it been? A situation with an ex is fragile, therefore, you can't really rush this process. A tremendous amount of patience, as well as following the guide down to a tee, is very much needed here. Some or should I say most progress made by clients are painstakingly slow, but that's normal. Focus on developing the attractive qualities listed on the guide to help you with this. One mistake people make that is very common is trying to rush things or put a label on it, so try to avoid that, eh. :-) Sign up for my coaching program if you're still unsure how to go about this, especially if you're questioning if you're on the right track, and/or if you're losing patience. Okay? Good luck!
  105. Josefine
    Hi Brad.Im a woman fr Sweden, in my around 50, I ended our relationship one year ago, we lived togheter for 4 years. He was to much Mr Nice Gue, and sadly lost my respect in him, and also my sexinterest...Well I had some problems on my own, too worked on them in therapy for a year now.. Since moving out he at least untill april this year, had feelings for me ( he showed that). He is a very difficult man, cant speak out and one of our problems where communication. He is also kind of shy, and have one friend only. He is the( guess some gues can have sex without "feelings") one that dont could have sex without having the right feelings involved. He have had three relationships, in his hole Life well one for about 15 years, but he calls her a bitch and I know she walked all over him! I did to ... I know he never ever felt so much for ´someone then for me... During this hole year I mowed out ( sept 14) he helped me with everything... I was in therapy to, I lost more than one person, cat etc because they died... Didnt see him THEN as we, being a couple at all guess I took him for granted.. But, and isnt it classic (?) when I noticed he became less interested in April/May ( dont know exactly when), I "woke up". Now I tried to show him I miss him, and yes I said it to, but he is cold like a fish. I had to drag it out of him ( even if he showed me by not answering my texting etc, NO I have not become clingy, it has been weeks between my contacts. On my birthday, in June he came with roses and a present...When I asked him, now in sept WHY roses he said "i dont know".I guess he had a bit of regret because he missed an appointment, the week before... But he is VERY clear when he say that he has no feelings for me anymore. He seems to have no need at all for me, but when I asked him that we should stay in contact he said yes.And that he would have say no if he wouldnt. He is a gue that when he is over me he is...That is the feeling I get. I know that walk away NOW would be wrong because there is just very much to miss, as I behaved very very bad against him, our last year living together, and most of the tome separate, and me not respond to him emotionell for several months, untill May...Well. So I guess I just have to move on? He had NOT say no to keep in contact, he said ok. But he hardly answer my ( few) texting, or say thet he forgot to answer ( good way saing " you are not important anymore" He is a very sensitiv gue, and very patience so I dont blame him for getting tired, and had enough. He dont seem to have any needs, sit a lot at home and he is not at all very active in his Life. He likes his appartment, and being alone. Hope my English is ok to understand. Ive read and listen to your videos, but I "dont fit in". Regards....
    • Brad Browning
      Hello Josefine, sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you're doing okay now. How long has it been since the last contact? If you've been the one to always initiate contact, then I suggest you take a step back though and let him make the effort, especially since you've sensed the disinterest on his end, okay? I don't know the entire story (sign up for my coaching program) enough to give a more specific advice, but consider moving on from this or at least giving him space and not chase him at all, all right? It helps if you let him miss you and you aren't too available to them right now. Don't let your whole world revolve around him, so get busy with your own life as well, okay? It's necessary not to center your happiness in just one person. Take care!
  106. Whitney
    Hello Brad, My ex-fiance and I broke up 5 months ago. It was a mutual break up. We both felt like we needed to figure out somethings on our own. We left it open to us getting back together in the future. We did about 3 weeks of no contact after the break up. Then decided to stay friends until now. We talked about getting back together but he says he doesn't think we could make it work because of everything we've been through. Today is the first day of no contact. He initiated stopping contact saying he doesn't know where this is going and doesn't just want me to wait around. He has been sending me a lot of mixed signals over the passed could months. What should I do?
    • Brad Browning
      Cutting off contact should have been done from the get-go. I couldn't stress the importance enough in my Ex Factor Guide and even in my Youtube videos, which you ought to check out as well. Your ex giving mixed signals after a breakup, especially during the first 30 days, is very common. It's one of the many reasons why I suggest to cut off contact, so you both can think clearly. Chances are, he has used you to heal and transition from the breakup. Being friends is a big no-no. Watch this: 5 Mistakes that Could Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back. I suggest to really cut off contact for at least a month and stay strong this time, all right? Focus on yourself. Take care!
  107. Arun
    Hi Brad, I purchased your book a week or so ago however, I'm lost. My Ex broke up with me and she blocked me from all social media stating she is fine cutting everything off and that we will never be friends. 3 weeks later she unblocks me on Facebook, we talk and she hot and colds me. Says she is okay etc, says we won't get back, says she cares about me still, says i've given her a headache, then says dont do anything bad and think of her before making any stupid decisions. This was then followed by her saying she wants to add me back as a friend after my exams in weeks time. She seems to be going back on what she said during the breakup but at the same time seems conflicted. Needless to say I won't contact her unless she contacts me first, but why is she doing this?
    • Brad Browning
      I suggest not to overanalyze. Confusing or mixed feelings tend to happen when a breakup is still fresh, so it's only normal behaviour from your ex and you to do so. This is how cutting off contact for a good while can really help you both in the long run, it lets you think clearly as well as miss each other, all right? Take care!
  108. Justin
    Hey Brad. I recently broke up with my girlfriend for a little over a month. After 3 days of no contact she reached out about something unimportant. She needed my email to send me a pic of my grandma from her computer. The only avenue she had to contact me was Facebook. (I didn't want to delete her because our situation is weird.) Anyway, I wrote her today and basically said that i love her & i know we've been friends for a really long time but we crossed a line into relationship and I cant just go back to being "Just Friends" because i care about her too much to live a lie as friends. So, if she doesn't want to try & work it out I don't want to talk to her anymore & there's nothing to say. I said if she ever changes her mind to reach out to me. So, she wrote me back how I'm a joke & she lost respect for me. Not to contact her mom, when she was the one who suggested to her mom to find me on Facebook. She said I don't know how to be a man. Almost downing me it seemed like she was doing. I could tell she was pretty angry. She gave me time to respond, (Which I thought was weird cuz she could've said what she had to say & blocked me right away) to which I said I'm glad you think my love was a joke to you. To which she replied Not your love YOU. I just care about my self and stuff like that, then told me to stop contacting her. Then blocked me.Was I wrong? How did she take what I said? Did I fuck up everything? Thanks Brad!!
    • Brad Browning
      Hey, Justin....you're right not to be on the friendzone, however, assuming you want her back, you may eventually have to reach out at the right time without necessarily having to be friends with her. Rebuilding attraction does take time and majority of it entails you have to know what you're doing. It's a bit complicated to explain everything here, but this is what my Ex Factor Guide is for, you ought to check it out. Right now, focus on cutting off communication and focusing on yourself for at least an entire month, okay? Take care!
  109. AVA
    Hi Brad, My ex and I have a child together. He flirts with me and looks at me in such a way that I can tell he wants me. How can I help him forget how I hurt him so i can put my family back together
    • Brad Browning
      Hello Ava, it's never that simple, so to speak... and I'm sorry, but the situation you've described here is not enough for me to make anything concrete of. How exactly had you hurt him? Have you initiated the breakup? Was there cheating involved? These info, among other factors, can modify my advice, so I prefer to get a clearer picture first. Sign up for my coaching program so I can look into your situation better and figure out what's going on, then guide you on a regular basis. Okay? Talk soon!

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