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Should I Be Friends with My Ex?

You’re in the midst of a breakup and you’re going through a whirlwind of emotions. How will you be able to survive daily life without your ex? You’ve become so accustomed to having them by your side.

And then, out of the blue, your ex says, “But I still want to be friends.”

Great, you think to yourself, at least I’ll still be able to have my ex around when I’m missing them like crazy. That should help me get through this, you think, nodding in agreement at your ex’s suggestion that you keep the friendship alive.

But is it really such a good idea? Is the “friend zone” a place you want to be?

Probably not, to be perfectly honest. Being friends with your ex is actually almost always a bad idea and a recipe for additional (and unnecessary) heartache. In this article, I’ll explain what your ex actually wants when they suggest you should remain friends… and why it’s unwise in almost every scenario.

Why Being Friends Is So Tempting

Here’s the reason so many people get stuck in the “friend zone” after a breakup – and end up suffering the negative consequences: at first, it seems like a great idea. 

friend zone memeI mean, your ex is giving you an option that allows you to maintain contact with the person you’ve loved for some time and, in theory, this will allow you to move on gently and slowly without the intense feelings of loneliness that often accompany a breakup.

After all, if you can slowly wean yourself off those romantic feelings rather than going “cold turkey” and shutting down all contact with your ex, isn’t that a better option?

The problem is that even though it often seems like a perfect compromise, being friends usually provides very little comfort and actually makes the process of moving on longer and more difficult – and complicated – than it needs to be.

So even though it may sound like a brilliant idea at first, entering into the “friend zone” with your ex is actually just going to make things more painful and more drawn out.

Scenario #1:  You’re Done with Your Ex & Want to Move On…

If you’re the one who initiated the breakup, or if you’ve come to realize that a permanent separation from your ex is wise, then being “friends” is unwise for one simple reason: it will cause at least one of you unnecessary emotional turmoil and heartache that can be avoided.

Think about it this way: your relationship is over, and among other things you hope to move on and begin a new love life with someone else. Whether or not that happens immediately doesn’t really change things, because the best way to move on from someone is to completely remove them from your life.

Which of the following options is going to be less painful and less difficult to handle:

  1. You let your ex go his or her own way and do your best to avoid learning what they are up to, who they’re dating, etc.
  2. You actively communicate with your ex and constantly remind yourself of what used to be between you. You learn about their new romantic partners, hear about their sexual escapades, etc.

Obviously the former option will make the entire breakup process less painful on an emotional level, and will help you move on more quickly. By keeping your ex in your life as a friend, you’re basically allowing yourself to constantly be tempted by reminding yourself of the past… and you’re also opening yourself up to potentially painful knowledge about your ex’s new love life.

In other words, if you want to survive the breakup and move on as quickly as possible, entering the “friend zone” with your ex is pretty much always counterproductive.

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Scenario #2:  You Want to Get Back Together with Your Ex

If the breakup with your ex happened against your will and you’re trying to get back together with them, then “friendship” is even worse.

Sensual woman kissing her handsome husband

To begin with, you’ll face all the problems I mentioned above: the experience will be more painful and it will take longer for you to get over your ex.

Even though a significant portion of relationships can be salvaged, some breakups will be permanent no matter how hard you try to reverse them. So if you happen to fall into this category, then all you’re achieving by agreeing to be friends with your ex after the breakup is increasing your emotional suffering and making the process of moving on more difficult than it needs to be.

There are a few other huge problems with agreeing to be friends with your ex if you want to win them back:

  • It won’t give them a chance to develop feelings of nostalgia and to miss you as much as if you aren’t around. As I explained in my article on how to get your ex back, one of the key ingredients to repairing a relationship is allowing enough time to pass that your ex begins to miss you like crazy. How do you make someone miss you? Simple: disappear from their life suddenly and completely, shutting down all lines of communication. By maintaining a friendship with your ex, it’s impossible to really effectively disappear from their radar and therefore for them miss you.
  • It gives complete control of the situation to your ex. Another key to winning back your ex is to make it clear that you are still equals, even if they decided to break up with you. You need to make it known that you’re not a pushover and that if your ex isn’t interested in a romantic relationship, then they’re cut from your life altogether.
  • You serve as a “safety net” for your ex while they look for someone new.  Do you want to be your ex’s confidante while they tell you about their new lover(s)? Do you want to be the backup quarterback in case things don’t work out with the new romance they’re pursing? Of course not. You have to make it absolutely clear to your ex that if they choose to break up with you, they’re on their own and they can’t come running back to you if they find the single life less fun than they’d imagined it would be. By stating in no uncertain terms that you’re not going to be sticking around when your ex decides to bail on your relationship, you’re telling them that you’re not wiling to be their “plan b”; you have dignity and pride and are worth being someone’s “number 1”.

Add those things together and the supposed “advantages” to being friends with your ex after a breakup seem much less appealing. In reality, there really isn’t any scenario in which being friends after a breakup (at least for the first few months) is a good idea.

How to Say No to the Friend Zone

If I’ve managed to convince you that being friends with your ex is an awful idea, then you may be wondering how to go about saying no to your ex. That can be especially tricky if you’re looking for a way to win them back and start fresh with your them in the future.

texting ex boyfriendI recommend saying something like, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for either of us to be friends right now. I was interested in being your [boyfriend/girlfriend] but I don’t really think being friends is going to be good for either of us. No hard feelings, though, and I wish you all the best.”

Saying that makes a clear stand on the issue without slinging any mud or closing the door to a possible future reconciliation. You want to make sure there’s no ambiguity or confusion over the issue, but you also want to be polite and diplomatic so as not to start any unnecessary conflicts.

If you’ve already agreed to being friends with your ex and you need help escaping the “friend zone,” I recommend you head over to my website and watch the free video that I’ve posted there. It will give you some more advice on how to proceed with your ex and how to escape the friend zone without shutting them out of your life permanently.

It’s often difficult to handle your ex when they want to be friends and you want to be lovers, and you need to tread carefully. That’s why I dedicated an entire section of my Ex Factor program to this topic, and I often help folks get through their unique situations.

Again, here’s a link to my website where you can claim a copy of my program (backed by a 100% money-back guarantee of course!) and sign up for my free email course.

Best of luck avoiding the dreaded “friend zone” – I welcome any questions or comments, so please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section at the bottom of this page.

About Brad Browning

Brad Browning, BA, is the world’s premiere breakup & marriage coach. Brad Browning’s The Ex Factor Guide, a program that teaches men and women how to win back their ex lovers, has sold thousands of copies worldwide. Brad has also released a similar program called Mend The Marriage that teaches married couples how to revitalize the spark, romance, and desire that’s been long forgotten. To top it all off, Brad’s YouTube channel has over 50 thousand subscribers and almost 7 million views, making his videos the most-watched and liked videos on YouTube!

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Breanne Gibson
Breanne Gibson
1 day 7 hours ago
Hello. About 3 1/2 weeks ago my wife said she needs space and a break from me and our marriage. Everything in our life has been stressful lately. We moved into a house and immediately it went on the market. We tried to buy a house and it fell through. She said she doesn’t feel good about herself. She has been staying with friends of hers from work, but has been slowly taking her clothes and things from our house (we have to move anyway since the house just sold) it’s not a clean break because of everything that is in both our names. We have days with no communication and other days where we text about the bills. We did have an hour long text session (no talk about relationship). I’m lost as to what to do. We have been together a total of 6 1/2 years and married… Read more »
Aleksandar
Aleksandar
5 days 9 hours ago
My ex after 3,5 years lef me and got back to her husband who was treating her very bad,he evn wanted to hit her and my ex brother almost end up in prison protecting her,not to mention she slept in bedroom he on sofa for years,and they had ppl in their lives…She left him and was feed up of life like that and all he family supported her in her decision cuz they knew that he was even paying who…s and things like that..after 6 months she met me and she told me all the story after awhile i met her family,kids,sister,brother,mother father,they appreciated me so much and use to tell me than God she found you to live in peace now..We were so happy,she had smile on her face from one end to another,we enjoyed life every day in everything,even her kids accepted me and my kids also accepted… Read more »
Savitha
Savitha
7 days 16 hours ago

My boyfriend dumped me in last September saying let’s be just friends , I didn’t agree and told him I wil remain as lover . But he had stopped connecting me . Totally no contacts and blocked me in any social sites like WhatsApp n gchats. It’s been more than 6 months and my attempts to text and call him are in vain because he doesnt bother to reply and even if he did once or twice in December ,Jan , they were very rude and insulting.p lease help me how to proceed.

Ratu
Ratu
11 days 17 hours ago

Me and my ex just broke up a month ago. He dumped me because he wants to be single around this time. I didn’t contact him for a month, and he called me if he miss me and miss my voice, after that we agree to become friends. But I’m just confused, is he wants us to be together again or not. I still love him and I want to go back together with him.

James Marchese
James Marchese
12 days 14 hours ago

I ordered your ex factor and I never did received what I had paid for. I have been checking my e-mail for three days now, and nothing. Can you help me??

Ms. Jaye
Ms. Jaye
16 days 10 hours ago

Me n my ex were best friends for 14 yrs….he broke up with me but still wants to maintain the friendship we built on which is what we recognize as our ‘foundational relationship’….we agreed b4 going into a romantic relationship not to allow anything within the romance destroy the friendship. I am following ur 30day no contact plan and he is reaching out more where I have fallen BC from reaching out at all. At the most i respond to him whenever I get a chance or mk the time to. He thinks im dating and he has expressed that he is seeing someone as well but says he unable to be sexually gratifying Cuz its not me. What’s the most effective move I could mk that will convince him for certain that i am who he needs? But not just sexually….

Pieter
Pieter
17 days 3 hours ago

Hi Brad, I have agreed to stay friends with my ex for a number of reasons. First of all, me and my ex had known each other for 11 years before we got together. She has always been like my best female friend. Next to that, we are in the same class in school, so I thought it would be best if we would avoid any awkward contact and just remain friends. I still have feelings for her though and it is tough. Do you think this was the best decision in this case? What would you advice me to do?

Rais
Rais
19 days 11 hours ago
Brad, what do you do if you had the 30 day nc, now you contacted, he said he has a gf now, and did I still wanted him to come over to get his christmas presents?. I texted back and reversed the question “lol-Do you want to see me?” He came over after you told him via text that you knew that relationship was dead. He got his presents sat with me talked for about an hour. I took out the scrapbook (took out all kissing pic’s etc. left family and some of me) that I had made before he broke up with me out of his package just after he opened it and stated that it would not be appropriate to give to him now, he insisted to see – so I let him. I also stated that it would not be good to keep it because of his… Read more »
Rose
Rose
20 days 2 hours ago
Hi Brad, What happen If you and the ex-boyfriend work fro the same company and have to see each other from time to time and work together and speak pertaining to work how can I handle that situation and avoid. I broke up with the individual about a month in a half. I asked about commitment being that we dated for almost a year and when the question was asked he stated that he was not ready and I deserve better so we ended. I’m still in love with this guy and trying to move forward but is hard when I still have to communicate due to work. I heard he started seeing someone else after two weeks after we ended and I was hurt. At work I feel like he gives mixed signal but also I cant hold my composure either and give in. I will like to be… Read more »
Zac
Zac
20 days 11 hours ago

Hi Brad,

My ex said exactly the same thing along the lines… “but we’re still friends right”? and smiley face 😂

This is within few hours ago and I gave the ultimatum to break up just about a day ago. I’m supposed to go into stealth mode – NC for 30 days.

My question is, should I reply to my ex like how you suggested ” I don’t think it’s a good idea… etc” OR should I just keep quiet and executed NC – 30 days?

Please help shed some light! I need your opinion.

Thank you

Maria Ann Villani
Maria Ann Villani
20 days 18 hours ago
Hi Brad, My boyfriend broke up with me 20 Dec. 2016. He told me that I know you love me but I don’t love you. I’m sorry. Mind you he said he loved me plenty of times. We got along great and never argued. He said that he loves me but in many different ways. And I really care about you and don’t want to lose you. Please be my friend. My best friend. I said you don’t need me as your best friend. You have enough. Well most of the time the ones you think are your best friends aren’t. So I agreed. Of course I did the begging and pleading to no avail. He called me everyday from the day he broke up with me. 3 times. 1 hour 2 minutes, 1 hour 26 minutes and 55 minutes. Then 2-8 times a day until 13 Jan. 2017. He… Read more »
Laura
Laura
21 days 9 hours ago

Hi Brad. I still find myself missing the person that claimed to love me. He did suggest staying friends with me but I don’t want friendship with him and he also said “frienddhip is all I can offer”. At first when he suggested for us to stay friends I sonewhat agreed and then when I remembered how much that would hurt I cut off contact with him and have been avoiding him at work.

Jayesh Narayan Nanda
Jayesh Narayan Nanda
21 days 16 hours ago

Hi brad i was in relationship with my gf from last 10 years but we use to fight due to not giving time n some family issue of her side no w suddenly due to my frustation i fight with her n she decided not to continue now we cant happy more in future this that n she is not in contact with me now i dint contact her 7 days after that i just txt normal msg she rly also normaly i dnt know now how to be back in with her same love before we were infact she was much excited for marriage plz suggest me ..

Aarya
Aarya
22 days 13 hours ago

Hi Brad me n my bf broke up this month n it’s been pretty tough for me he refusing to talk to me n everything I really love him n want him back I tried no contact but his girl best friend interfered n he ended up blocking me in every way possible I don’t know what to do it’s been so frustrating … Somehow I managed to txt him he said it’s over n hence I blocked u … Plz plz plz help me

Grace
Grace
27 days 9 hours ago
Hi Brad, I and my bf broke up two months ago I left him because of his behaviours and I didnt any communication with him like you said ” no communication period ” I used it without knowing. My sister advised me and I just did it. Anyway, I deleted his number and everything but I still love him and I learned he started to date with a girl just after 5 days when we broke up I didnt date anyone else I suffered alot one week ago he messaged me and he wanted to see me we didnt meet but yesterday again he messaged me and suggested to go to a gym that he went. I was mentioning about gym to him while dating . What should I do ? I love him and still want him but I afraid if I lose him . Should I go to… Read more »
chris
chris
1 month 5 days ago

hi brad. me and my ex wife have been friends for 3 months after she broke up with me. We have 2 kids also. the problem is she was told by her sister about the no contact rule and she texted me about it. Is my cover blown?. Will this still work?. Im forced to answer if she talks about our kids. she knows that im trying to ignore her. any tips on what should i do nex?

Mark
Mark
1 month 6 days ago
Hey Brad, My ex and I broke up almost three months ago. We had dated for nearly two years and we’re both 22. I did all the mistakes begging and pleading but she cut me off completely. She loved me so much in the relationship and I took her for granted and she found out I wasn’t texting another girl last year which I regretted and hadn’t done since. I broke up with her here months a go because she kept bringing the other girl up and I wanted to bury that in the past. I called her after 2 week of NC today and just caught up with what was going on with her life. Any insights on how I can get her back. She really was in love with me and would write love letters to me trrpihhout the relationship but I was distant and took her for… Read more »
jeanne
jeanne
1 month 8 days ago

Hi Brad, my man and I were together 5 years. We broke up a few times but love each other so much we kept getting back together. I wanted to just live together and didn’t want to marry, my kids needed help, etc, so we had conflicts, but never doubted our love. This last breakup was hard on both of us and we really suffered, but now he is with someone else and practically living with her. I can’t move on that easily. I know he loves me….still tells friends I was ‘the one’ .can this be undone?

Peter Le
Peter Le
1 month 10 days ago
Hey brad, I honestly need some insight on where i stand. At this point, i have no idea. so my gf of 2.5 years broke up with my last sept about 9 days after my bday (aug 30th) where she thought i cheated on her and 3 months after she got a job as a flight attendant. I made fatal mistakes by begging and pleading pretty much and continued to talk to her. We hung out once in late sept and another in round oct 14. I gave her 3 letters in nov, 2 early nov and 1 nov 29 with an early bday present. 2-3 days later we got into a huge arguement because i sent her angry drunk msgs and for stalking and what not. She blocked me on social media and now deleted my number. I grabbed your program a day or 2 after and pretty much… Read more »
Adrian
Adrian
1 month 15 days ago
Hey Brad. My gf broke up with me 8 months ago because she said she needs to love herself first before letting another person love her and that she was freaking out on dating again. I begged and pleaded and obviously it didn’t work. We agreed on being friends but I only agreed cause I was waiting for her to be ready and she didn’t wanted me to because she said she needed to love herself first. I tried to work it out and set her as my priority but she always gave me the hot n cold treatment till the conversation died after 7 months. After waiting a few weeks, I found out that she was dating someone new. I asked her about it and wished that their relationship would work out. I didn’t contacted her after that day and posted nothing on social media. Is there anything I… Read more »
Gill
Gill
1 month 16 days ago

Hi Brad, It’s 7 months now since my ex broke up with me and I am desperate to get him back.
I went through the no contact rule and tried to cut him out of my life completely, but nothing worked.
While I make all the contact he always replies and wants to meet up etc.
Last week after a few drinks we ended up sleeping together and now back to the silent treatment. He is stubborn and won’t contact me.
I feel like his guard is up and he is frightened of something as when we are together it feels so right.
We were together for just over a year and never argued. No one cheated.
Is it time to move on, buy your program or benefit from your personal coaching.

Corey
Corey
1 month 16 days ago

Hey, Brad. My gf of 6 months broke off the relationship, because, she doesn’t love herself, and isn’t ready for a relationship. She wants to focus on herself, career, and her child. Us three were really close. She still wants to be in eachothers lives on some level, though I never said I wanted to be just friends. She blocked me on fb. I initated the no contact and plan to see that through. After that, what should I do? And what if she contacts me during NC?

zack
zack
1 month 20 days ago

Hi Brad,
Me & my Gf were in 3 yrs of relationship we were very close (2yrs ldr) she broke up with me 3 weeks ago saying spark in our relationship has ended, I was trying to follow your no contact rule but could not resist and broke up the rule calling her and asking her reasons why she broke and and asked her to come back. She said no to me, was kind of ignoring me and said we should not contact each other and it should be our last talk, It was feeling like she is looking someone else.. she deleted all over pics blocked me and now has even deleted my number. Please help me out as I have messed up the situation, suggest me what to do now….

Danno
Danno
1 month 28 days ago

Hi brad my wife and I have a baby together we have separated she’s seeing someone else but wants to remain friends although she hasn’t said it directly. Should I uses this as a way to remove negative feelings towards me and reinforce positive ones

Aviv
Aviv
2 months 14 hours ago
Hi brad, I left pushed my girlfriend away after i was involved in a cheating situation, i love her, that was June 2016 she kept fighting for me until august then she started dating a friend of hers and by November 2016 i went back for her, she says she will never love another like she did me but she has decided to bury our love, she is a devoted christian and she says she can’t leave him because she made a promise and the guy likes him so much she feels safe with him. i have apologies and through all this time we have been close and friends, we work together, we own a business together and even travel together for business. she says she would like us to be friends. Do i have a chance with her? some people say if i stay away from her she will… Read more »
Johnny Alger
Johnny Alger
2 months 6 days ago

Hi Brad. Me and my wife separated the weekend before thanks giving. I didnt want it but after our argument she said she was done. Well only 1 week later she starts talking with someone else and ignoring me all together! Ive pleaded and tried reminding her of all our good times so she wouldn’t focuse on the past! My heart is torn and i dont want to lose her! I want to fix my marriage but she wont respond to anything. What do i do. Im lost

Anto
Anto
2 months 7 days ago
Hi brad, My gf brokeup with me n its been one month now, she was crazy on me from first sight and we were deeply in relationship for 1 n half month hanging out,daily chats, suddenly one fine morning she said she’s not interested in any relationship with me, am still not able to come out of the shock.we work in same office n meet each other often but both us ignore each other.since break up, i started no contact then next week she called n and expressed she missed me n wanted to be friends i was so happy then following weekday i asked her for meeting in office, she came n again acted rude n said no more relationship,one in a week i msg her ,then she’s replying very formal.if i dont come to office r change my whats up status she is interested to know what am… Read more »
Akhri
Akhri
2 months 9 days ago

Hie brad!
My bf broke up with me around 2-3 months ago and since then we were friends. He asked me to b friends and i agreed. Bt later he was very rude towards me and didnt even wanted to meet at all. So i decided to follow no contact rule. Bt he texts me almost every alternate day. If i dont reply to him it will come to his ego. So what should i do? I dont wanna worsen the situation further.
Please help me brad i want to b with him once again!
Thank you..

Pranay Agrawal
Pranay Agrawal
2 months 9 days ago

Hey brad….i m pranay..n my gf broke up wid me a week ago..saying she need some time alone…we were in a 3 year relationship…although she says we r good friends…n she hangouts wid me at weekends still ….i dont knw what to do..coz it kills me jst being her friend…bt i also flirt with her like her bf n she give it full acceptance giving me a sign tht she still loves me n want me…bt she denies whn i ask to come bck in relation …what should i do ?? Plzzz help

Jul
Jul
2 months 12 days ago
Hi Brad, thank you for your work. I am a widow. My case is a little twisted. I met my ex 12yrs ago (2004), I met my dead husband 3 weeks before I meeting my ex. I liked him more than my dead spouse so we started long distance relationship. While my dead spouse kept asking me out and trying to be there for me more knowing that my relationship with my ex is long distance while I live in the same city with my dead spouse. This affected our long distance relationship, so I left him and marry my dead spouse(2008), but just after my wedding I got an anonymous facebook friend request which I accepted thinking is an old friend not knowing it was him. We remained facebook friends without commenting on each other’s page or sending messages. After 4years(2012), I was widowed and then I received a… Read more »
Olivia
Olivia
2 months 15 days ago
Hi Brad! Here’s a part of my story. My bf broke up with me 1,5 months ago, after 3 weeks of having a break of of our relationship, and it was all quite shocking for me. We’re not from the same place and I study in his town, so we’ve seen each other only twice during the summer holidays. Since he had 2 gfs before me, he told me all of a sudden he needs space and doesn’t want to be in a relationship and that it’s all so hard for him (I’ve never seen him cry so much). However, during our break and still today, he’s seeing this one girl and chatting with her, although he told me he doesn’t like her physically and that she’s not his type, but he thinks she’s a cool person to be around with. After we broke up, I never initiated the conversation,… Read more »
Anon
Anon
2 months 18 days ago
Hello Brad, I have a lot of questions to ask you but I know you can answer my questions if I told you my story first. I was dating another person in a different country and we both met online. I fallen in love for this person and I was insecured. Troubled, I intitated the breakup. We only dated for a couple month. I admitted to acted a bit desperately afterwards then asked, “What are we now”? My ex responded with, “Friends”. I didn’t push it any further and I honestly felt like I don’t want to be a friend. After that, I applied a 45 days No Contact Rule. I was focusing on myself and hang out with my friends. I feel ready and I decided not to live in the past. While we were dating, I felt insecure because my other was flirting with other people and people… Read more »
Lammy
Lammy
2 months 29 days ago
Hello Brad.. I’ve been watching your videos for some days now after things went downhill with my boyfriend. We work in the same organisation and have been dating for over a year before I realized he was seeing another girl at our workplace. I confronted him with the knowledge I had and that’s how things got bad. He denied, said she was just a friend and went further to accuse me of spreading the story about them both at work. I tried to tell him I didn’t spread any story, he’s adamant and refuses to listen and has been really cold and distant. I started the no contact rule, finished in 21 days so I texted him on my dad’s birthday. He responded well, said happy birthday to my dad. I went silent for about 5 more days when he texted me out of the blues to give me an… Read more »
Danielle
Danielle
2 months 30 days ago
Hi Brad! My ex and I broke up exactly 13 days ago after we had gotten into a little political tiff(I said some pretty harsh stuff but nothing mean towards him). The split was mutual at first and then I realized it’s not what I wanted. We talked once or twice right after the break up and then a little over a week after we saw each other because I had quite a bit of his personal belongings. I met him at a mutual friends house and he invited me in, I started getting my hopes up because he didn’t just ask for his stuff. We all hung out for about 3 hours. As we were leaving we stood outside and started to talk about the breakup, he said he doesn’t think we belong together and we have different views and ideas. He told me he’s been unhappy for a… Read more »
Joe
Joe
3 months 1 day ago
Brad just want to thank you for all of this and tell you I respect what you do and you are apriecated…. So I was living with my ex for about 5 years, the first year she moved from her hometown to be with me in mine, at the time she was only 22 and her family did not approve but she still moved in with me and left her hometown.. 1 year later we moved to her hometown and I left my whole family and friends to make her happy and so she can finish school there.. We lived there for the last 4 years and we have been very happy and great but her mom never forgave me till this day for taking her daughter away that first year even thou I brought her back….which means I wasn’t invited for holidays and I was treated horrible by her..… Read more »
Nana
Nana
3 months 7 days ago
Hello Brad… My Ex doesn’t text me or even flashed me for the past one month now we broke up….. it was her idea to brake up with me.. and i really want her back. I deployed your No Contact Strategy after one month of our breakup…. just one week in the No contact Period I sent her a big interest message which reads:”Hey, Just heard that( a gospel musician) is coming to town… Just remembered how much you love her programs…. Hope everything is going well”?…..I got this reply from her in an hours time” Hi… Oh ok.. is good to hear.. but you know I can’t make it because of my busy schedule… I hope you will be able to?….Am doing well.. how about you?…I gave her this reply after 2hours to her after two hours of receiving her reply…. This was my reply….” I know right.. May… Read more »
Danielle cummins
Danielle cummins
3 months 8 days ago
Hey brad, My ex and i broke up a year ago we have a child together and he left me fo another woman. But he told me the reason he cant get back with me is because he now has a criminal record because of me where we argue so much the cops was called. We was in a relationship for four years and when he left me and got with this other girl i filped and they broke up and since then me and him was messing around , but me not knowing it he was dating someone else and cheated on her with me and made me the other woman. He had cheated on me before. I know i guess im stupid vut i do love him and i do know somewhere deep down he loves me still. He said he cant be with me now but you… Read more »
Prince
Prince
3 months 12 days ago

Hey Brad, about 7 months ago my girlfriend broke up with me.But she told me to be just friends.And i had done all the major mistakes which u highly recommended not to do.She is now very happy. She told me that i was a mistake which she cannot repeat and she do not believe in second chances.She also told that my caste is different and her parents wont allow this relationship.Now she doesn’t even care about me.She is a very good girl and because of my overpossessiveness i lost her.
I am really in a devastated condition.
Please help me what should i do.
How to make her fall in love again with me.
Awaiting for your response.

Tely
Tely
3 months 13 days ago

Hi I broke up with my ex week ago, and I can’t contact him ,bcx he blocked my number, I try to call him and text him with different number, but no answer,no reply back I guess he knew it was me texting him, what can I do to get in touch with him, what can I do to get him back, I miss him so bad, and want talk to him, please help

Jillian
Jillian
3 months 18 days ago
Hello Brad! My boyfriend of 11 months and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. He is 23 and i am 22 years old. Everything was going really smoothly and it was great but he suddenly disappeared on me without giving me an explanation. i tried talking to him but he refused to give me a straight answer. It was as if he completely changed with me. I asked his friends about his behavior and they said he is normal and chilled out. I gave him space but frustrated, I texted him to at least clear everything out. That is when he gave me the break up speech saying that he is really sorry and his parents don’t approve of me and he discussed this matter with a friend and has decided to end this relationship because their decision is his priority. He also stated that he wants to be… Read more »
Sonam
Sonam
3 months 21 days ago
Hi Brad, Last week my boyfriend of 8 months (5 months London distance ) wanted to end things. He said it is exhausting and unable to be emotionally available to me. However, says he still loves me and miss me. That time I was not in the right mind, due to work stress and his bringing that up was unexpected as we did not have any fights before. So I told him I needed some time and space to think about it and I would like him to think it over too. We have not contacted since then, until Sunday I was passing through a place and it reminded me of him…so I left a text about it but I did not say I love him or miss him as such. HE called me back we talked for few mins and I ended the call saying we ll talk further… Read more »
Anita lamichhane
Anita lamichhane
3 months 25 days ago

Hi brad,
My boyfriend broke up with me. It’s about 5 month. I loved him alot and i does too. Due to the family and society issues he broke up with me. It’s has become 2years of our relationship.he said I don’t want to be in relation becoz or won’t get sucess we can’t get married later so it is better to leave it now. I tried every moment to talk now he didn’t listen to me . Even he didn’t talk to me. He talks rudely.Now what should I do to get him back? Is it possible to get him back forever.

Jakob
Jakob
4 months 2 hours ago
Hey brad it’s been going on 3 weeks off my break up and no contact. She said she fell out of love and wanted everything to with me but not a label of a relationship pretty much. I was her first love and realized my wrong doing in the relationship after thinking about if we’re right for eachother. I realized how good things could’ve been and that it actually can work. When we broke up I confessed and apologized for my actions and said I don’t wanna be friends I still love you if you need anything call me and I left. I want to try to get her back soon. I’ve watched a good percent of your videos and been bettering myself durning this time, which I thank you for. If you could please give me some advice on how to get her attention to text me again or… Read more »
Betsy
Betsy
4 months 1 day ago

Hi Brad,

My boyfriend broke up with me after 7months…we were really in love and I really messed it up. When I was on my period I was super emotional, mean and threatened break ups a few times. He had enough. I am working on myself hardcore and know I have to change this pattern. We are a werk into no contact. Is there anything in your guide if you really messed up bad? Also, is it ok for him to see me on the same dating site?

pallab
pallab
4 months 3 days ago

Hey Brad it’s been 2 months she break up with me after that I begged and pleaded Nd after one month of break up I started the no contact method Nd one night she texted me and I hve done the same mistake that I flow out of emotions then after that I have again started the no contact now she has txted me again but I hve ignored the txt Nd I wished her birthday tonight . I think that now she is completely feeling less Nd she will never come back .

Justin
Justin
4 months 5 days ago

Have been dating my girl for the past two years then she had to travel to another country for work just for one year. Everything was beautiful before she left. After that things began to get ugly slowly. We argue a lot. Guess I became too needy. Suddenly she feels like it’s not working out and she’s not sure she wants to continue. She said “am confuse and am not sure if I want to be with you or leave you”. She suggests for a two months break and after which she will tell me if she wants to continue or not. And in the break she wants us to still communicate but as friends. What does this mean and what can I do?

Jimmy
Jimmy
4 months 5 days ago
Hi Brad, I have seen all of your videos and bought your book. She broke up with me because I didn’t listen enough to her and give her the ability to tell her stories. I told her it was the first I heard about it and wanted to fix the issues, but she still broke it off (though I know she’s not sure if this was the right decision, as she has other life issues she’s dealing with like job, money and injury, etc…). I caved after 4 days of no contact and did post rad things to my social media. We are big runners (our passion in life) so I texted her saying “my partner bailed and need a new running partner for this awesome trail, interested?” She wrote right back and told me she was interested but was injured (truth, but didn’t know how bad). She would go… Read more »
Juan
Juan
4 months 9 days ago
Hey brad i broke up with my girlfriend a month ago, i tried to use the no contact method for alike 4 days but i couldnt make it i end up talking to her, she told me when want to be alone that she doesnt want anybody in her life for now. We broke up because i was jealous and i didnt give her space. We dated for 11 month and i fall deep inlove with this girl, we talked like friends even though thats not what i want. But everytime i talk to her about our past relationship she always gets angry and end up not talking to me. I have 2 weeks since i dont talk about our past relationship but i dont think thats going to change anything between us. Shes sure about her decision and thats what scares me the must that i cnt win her… Read more »
Jay
Jay
4 months 11 days ago

Hey Brad, thanks for the article. My girl and I have been apart about 2 months. 3 weeks ago she told me she missed me and we had a “let’s try to work it out” convo….a couple days later she tells me it’s not going to work and that she’s onto someone new. She hit me with a “let’s hangout as friends, it’ll never be more” about a week ago, I didn’t respond and have been in NC. How long do you suggest I stay in NC given her new relationship?

Emma
Emma
4 months 11 days ago
Hi, I came here looking for help and advice on how to get things back on track with my ex. We have been together for 15 year, married for 5 this October. He started to become very needy always wanted to be next to me, got jealous over everything! (Even me reading!) I went to Paris for w nights with a girlfriend and I rang him from the effilé tower, I was so excited and wanted him and oUR daughters to see where I was ect but he was so angry and bitter  (that had been going on for a while) when I got home he shouted at me and said the most horrible things, he didn’t want to see my photos or ask me anything but my daughter where really excited to hear. Two days later I was doing the dishes and he started shouting at me I just… Read more »
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