Should I Be Friends with My Ex?

You’re in the midst of a breakup and you’re going through a whirlwind of emotions. How will you be able to survive daily life without your ex? You’ve become so accustomed to having them by your side.

And then, out of the blue, your ex says, “But I still want to be friends.”

Great, you think to yourself, at least I’ll still be able to have my ex around when I’m missing them like crazy. That should help me get through this, you think, nodding in agreement at your ex’s suggestion that you keep the friendship alive.

But is it really such a good idea? Is the “friend zone” a place you want to be?

Probably not, to be perfectly honest. Being friends with your ex is actually almost always a bad idea and a recipe for additional (and unnecessary) heartache. In this article, I’ll explain what your ex actually wants when they suggest you should remain friends… and why it’s unwise in almost every scenario.

Why Being Friends Is So Tempting

Here’s the reason so many people get stuck in the “friend zone” after a breakup – and end up suffering the negative consequences: at first, it seems like a great idea. 

friend zone memeI mean, your ex is giving you an option that allows you to maintain contact with the person you’ve loved for some time and, in theory, this will allow you to move on gently and slowly without the intense feelings of loneliness that often accompany a breakup.

After all, if you can slowly wean yourself off those romantic feelings rather than going “cold turkey” and shutting down all contact with your ex, isn’t that a better option?

The problem is that even though it often seems like a perfect compromise, being friends usually provides very little comfort and actually makes the process of moving on longer and more difficult – and complicated – than it needs to be.

So even though it may sound like a brilliant idea at first, entering into the “friend zone” with your ex is actually just going to make things more painful and more drawn out.

Scenario #1:  You’re Done with Your Ex & Want to Move On…

If you’re the one who initiated the breakup, or if you’ve come to realize that a permanent separation from your ex is wise, then being “friends” is unwise for one simple reason: it will cause at least one of you unnecessary emotional turmoil and heartache that can be avoided.

Think about it this way: your relationship is over, and among other things you hope to move on and begin a new love life with someone else. Whether or not that happens immediately doesn’t really change things, because the best way to move on from someone is to completely remove them from your life.

Which of the following options is going to be less painful and less difficult to handle:

  1. You let your ex go his or her own way and do your best to avoid learning what they are up to, who they’re dating, etc.
  2. You actively communicate with your ex and constantly remind yourself of what used to be between you. You learn about their new romantic partners, hear about their sexual escapades, etc.

Obviously the former option will make the entire breakup process less painful on an emotional level, and will help you move on more quickly. By keeping your ex in your life as a friend, you’re basically allowing yourself to constantly be tempted by reminding yourself of the past… and you’re also opening yourself up to potentially painful knowledge about your ex’s new love life.

In other words, if you want to survive the breakup and move on as quickly as possible, entering the “friend zone” with your ex is pretty much always counterproductive.

take the quiz

Scenario #2:  You Want to Get Back Together with Your Ex

If the breakup with your ex happened against your will and you’re trying to get back together with them, then “friendship” is even worse.

Sensual woman kissing her handsome husband

To begin with, you’ll face all the problems I mentioned above: the experience will be more painful and it will take longer for you to get over your ex.

Even though a significant portion of relationships can be salvaged, some breakups will be permanent no matter how hard you try to reverse them. So if you happen to fall into this category, then all you’re achieving by agreeing to be friends with your ex after the breakup is increasing your emotional suffering and making the process of moving on more difficult than it needs to be.

There are a few other huge problems with agreeing to be friends with your ex if you want to win them back:

  • It won’t give them a chance to develop feelings of nostalgia and to miss you as much as if you aren’t around. As I explained in my article on how to get your ex back, one of the key ingredients to repairing a relationship is allowing enough time to pass that your ex begins to miss you like crazy. How do you make someone miss you? Simple: disappear from their life suddenly and completely, shutting down all lines of communication. By maintaining a friendship with your ex, it’s impossible to really effectively disappear from their radar and therefore for them miss you.
  • It gives complete control of the situation to your ex. Another key to winning back your ex is to make it clear that you are still equals, even if they decided to break up with you. You need to make it known that you’re not a pushover and that if your ex isn’t interested in a romantic relationship, then they’re cut from your life altogether.
  • You serve as a “safety net” for your ex while they look for someone new.  Do you want to be your ex’s confidante while they tell you about their new lover(s)? Do you want to be the backup quarterback in case things don’t work out with the new romance they’re pursing? Of course not. You have to make it absolutely clear to your ex that if they choose to break up with you, they’re on their own and they can’t come running back to you if they find the single life less fun than they’d imagined it would be. By stating in no uncertain terms that you’re not going to be sticking around when your ex decides to bail on your relationship, you’re telling them that you’re not wiling to be their “plan b”; you have dignity and pride and are worth being someone’s “number 1”.

Add those things together and the supposed “advantages” to being friends with your ex after a breakup seem much less appealing. In reality, there really isn’t any scenario in which being friends after a breakup (at least for the first few months) is a good idea.

How to Say No to the Friend Zone

If I’ve managed to convince you that being friends with your ex is an awful idea, then you may be wondering how to go about saying no to your ex. That can be especially tricky if you’re looking for a way to win them back and start fresh with your them in the future.

texting ex boyfriendI recommend saying something like, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for either of us to be friends right now. I was interested in being your [boyfriend/girlfriend] but I don’t really think being friends is going to be good for either of us. No hard feelings, though, and I wish you all the best.”

Saying that makes a clear stand on the issue without slinging any mud or closing the door to a possible future reconciliation. You want to make sure there’s no ambiguity or confusion over the issue, but you also want to be polite and diplomatic so as not to start any unnecessary conflicts.

If you’ve already agreed to being friends with your ex and you need help escaping the “friend zone,” I recommend you head over to my website and watch the free video that I’ve posted there. It will give you some more advice on how to proceed with your ex and how to escape the friend zone without shutting them out of your life permanently.

It’s often difficult to handle your ex when they want to be friends and you want to be lovers, and you need to tread carefully. That’s why I dedicated an entire section of my Ex Factor program to this topic, and I often help folks get through their unique situations.

Again, here’s a link to my website where you can claim a copy of my program (backed by a 100% money-back guarantee of course!) and sign up for my free email course.

Best of luck avoiding the dreaded “friend zone” – I welcome any questions or comments, so please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section at the bottom of this page.

About Brad Browning

Brad Browning, BA, is the world’s premiere breakup & marriage coach. Brad Browning’s The Ex Factor Guide, a program that teaches men and women how to win back their ex lovers, has sold thousands of copies worldwide. Brad has also released a similar program called Mend The Marriage that teaches married couples how to revitalize the spark, romance, and desire that’s been long forgotten. To top it all off, Brad’s YouTube channel has over 50 thousand subscribers and almost 7 million views, making his videos the most-watched and liked videos on YouTube!
765 replies
  1. lamablue
    lamablue says:

    man who I was intensively dating for a month ( we were kind of friends four months ago) . He is a very emotional and sensitive guy and we got on very well and even I met his family. We liked and cared about each other a lot. Some kind of sexual interactions happened but full sex failed and he asked that we slow down and to only mess around. We were meant to meet at his place but as his mental health was not good , he invited me to his family’s place to spend the weekend . He wanted just cuddling but we ended up with oral sex only. After four days, he broke with me over a text explaining that he likes me very much and enjoys my company but he is still hurt and confused from his last relationship and he can not be with me , right now, because it is not fair on me and he will always disappoint me. He wants to recovered from his last relationship before getting into any relationship. He was very scared to hurt me .He said that we can meet and discuss it all through if I want and he would like to keep in touch and stay friends. I responded that I understand his point but I prefer not to talk about it or be in touch with each other anymore . After a week, I regretted that I did not meet him and explain my point of view that we can slow it down and no pressure on him and Ill be right by his side and that the most important thing is intimacy and trust and asking him to give us another. We broke up around 20 days ago. I bought your Get Your Ex Back Programme and I am following No Contact Rule but he has not got in touch with me. I doubt that he will get in touch with me as I asked him not to contact each other anymore.
    I am following your advice in the Programme but my question is as I told him that I do not want to contact each other anymore and this means that I shut all the doors. What do you think is the best way to reconnect with him? What shall I say to him?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! Thanks for purchasing my program. It’s only been 20 days though so try to follow the guide down to a tee, all right? 🙂 Stop overthinking things and try to play your cards right instead. Meeting up with him too soon will NOT help your cause. Now I know it’s difficult (and it’s a different challenge all on its own) but try to follow the guide down to a tee, all right? Read it many times over until you master it. All the best!

      Reply
  2. Micka
    Micka says:

    Hi, brad
    My boyfriend told me that we are not compatible that I have emotional issues and third thing that we don’t have too much alone time for the hold two years, we may only be had six-date night out the  relationship, and I explained to him that I don’t know how to show my emotions but willing for him to let me learn with him , how can I get him back because he was the one to show me what my problem . I told him in beginning of the relationship that I still was depressed from losing my mother and he said he will be here for me, we have had been together for 2 years now and was going on the third year and we break up now for about two weeks and half, I’m no longer depressed and I have a validated babysitter that will keep my child, for I   will  time  more one on one time together with him , he said he wishes he could believe in me  the last time we talk but he finds it hard to believe and have faith in the relationship

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear you’re going through all this. It may help to make use of the clean slate template, which is a free version from a piece of my Ex Factor Guide. This may help: The Clean Slate… Text? (The Clean Slate Email’s Evil Twin) The main goal is to bring your ex into an emotional neutral state by employing the 30-day “no contact” rule — let your ex miss you and don’t rush it. But in order to fully understand how this concept works, watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you than otherwise, at http://www.breakupbrad.com

      Reply
  3. Akshay
    Akshay says:

    Hey Brad,

    My ex dumped me 12 days ago, she said she wasn’t in love with me and wanted a break and some space, but she told her room-mates that we broke up. We were in a relationship for almost 5 years, out of which one has been long distance. She has been feeling a loss of attraction since that long-distance relationship. During that, she had an affair and that has really shattered my confidence and self-respect. I’d become a doormat for her. I know I had begun to feel insecure and everything, But she was the reason for it. Now it’s been 12 days since no contact, but I had texted her during the no contact to ask for my money back, to which she replied that she’ll return by the month end. I genuinely feel she is the one for me. I don’t know how to proceed. help me out, tell me if I’m wrong?

    Reply
  4. Shusmita sharma
    Shusmita sharma says:

    Hi Brad!! Me and my ex broke up 2 months back but after my break up I followed your video and went on no contact phase I was doing accordingly what you were saying I enjoyed my Iife. Showed him m happy without him. But one day I don’t know what happen to me I texted him and I bursted all my emotions out for him how much Ioved him . Actually I got too emotional that day. But I didn’t got any reply back🙁
    What do you think I should do now??
    Is there’s any chance now??
    Plzzz help me out

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      It’s okay to text him since you’re probably already on the second phase anyway, which is to re-establish contact with an ex. However, contacting him just to break down is a big no no and huge leap backwards from what you’ve been doing so far. You ought to focus on yourself and take care of yourself first before trying to win him back, to actually increase your chances of it being a success. Ironic isn’t it?:-) Perhaps this may help: How to Make Your Ex Obsess Over You (New for 2017!) I suggest that you read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential! Take care!

      Reply
  5. Jessica O.
    Jessica O. says:

    Hey Brad,
    My bf and I were together for almost a year and practically living together. I, also, have a 3 year old son who completely loves him and I know he loves him too. My bf is the sweetest guy you will ever meet but does have CAPD which is a processing disorder of the brain. This is important because he often forget things and has a hard time staying on task, but he tries his hardest. I was having a lot of negative impact my life and get me down and I know he just started to not know what to do. He broke up with me a week from Tuesday. He said he needs to learn to balance his life before he can be in a relationship. He never asked to be friends, in fact he said I was the only one who he wanted to be with but he ‘needs space’. I did get emotional and when I took him his stuff I could tell he was sad and couldn’t take seeing me hurt. The next day I apologized for the intense emotional breakdown and told him I, also, needed to work on myself. He texted me back saying he ‘wants to see me happy everyday.’ and he wanted me to know ‘you’re the best’. He said I am ‘the most amazing person in the world’. I know my negativity made him feel like he was not enough. I initiated the no contact rule right there. Which was a week from wed (1 day after the break up). I miss him so much. I have indeed been working on myself and life is better than ever! EXCEPT I want him back. He doesn’t know that his mom texts me everyday (she won’t tell him that) and he prob does know that his sister contacted me for a haircut (I am a hairstylist). His whole family loves my son and I. Am I on the right track? Is there anything else I should be doing? Or do you think he will be back in no time? I am remaining confident that we are meant to be together but when I question those feelings I find it best to get a positive reinforcement. Thanks!

    Reply
  6. Tara goswami
    Tara goswami says:

    Hi Brad. I hope you can help me out cause m really heart broken and want him back. Me and my ex boyfriend broke up one month back. It was all going good between us we dated for 4 months. But after that 4 months he started changing he didn’t gave me much importance in his life. I felt something ignorant from his side. The old love was vanished. And he started giving me conditions to be with him like loose your weight then only I’ll date you go to abroad for studies like that all. He’s like the relationship should go in his way whatever he says and I tried doing things whatever he told but all time it’s not possible. Then one fine day in Christmas we went out along with his friends I noticed he totally avoided me like I was no one there. Then the next day I was so down I went out with one of my friend who was a guy along with my sister to just chill and posted in instagram then he called me at night and rudely told good night and dropped the phone and yes he was very possessive. After that no contact and dropped a msg one day we need to talk and deleted all our pictures together from social media. This really offended me and called him why he did he just told I’ll meet you and explain you nicely one day but I told him very badly that time very badly and blocked him. After that we didn’t contacted just one day after 3 weeks of no contact I texted him about a place that I went that day and it reminded me of him but no reply. After this we are not contacting anymore. But I unblocked him now and he use to keep on checking my stories. What do you think it will be better to do to bring him back?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      That’s not a very balanced relationship if that’s the case. Both people should contribute and as well as discuss his/her thoughts, opinion, suggestions for the relationship. I suggest to wait a full month without talking to him, though. Give him time to realize his mistake on this as well and try not to force it. Look at the roles that you’ve BOTH played that led to the breakup and if the issues have a chance to get resolved, and how to go about it. In most cases, the problems that led to the breakup can be resolved, but in some cases, it isn’t. So take time to evaluate, okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  7. Khan
    Khan says:

    Hi Brad, my ex girl brokeup with me one day before christmas 2017, we were together for more then 6 years, we lived together almost the whole time of relationship. We had really good relationship, we connected really well from start and had fun, laugh and all that we expect from a good healthy relationship. We had bit of dramas, bickering and fights as we are in early 20’s but never something serious ie abusive or something crazy, small bumps on the way. In 2015 like 4 years in relationship one day we had argument and my girl told that she wants to breakup because she was confused but i made her understand that we will workout as we had communication issue sometime in heated moments but later when were calm we understood each other and compromised ,finally it was ok. After then everything was fine but after 1.5 year in i felt she didnt put much input and she gave me hot and cold feelings, sometime she was so intimate and happy and other times she was distant and didnt really iniciate converstaion or text and even intimacy wise i was one always trying my best. Until then i didnt really understand what was going on with her, she was hiding her feelings as they were fading with time, she didnt open up and then i tried to fix things and as i didnt have that much knowledge of what was happnening so i thought giving her more attention would fix things and she will be all in but those things back fired and all my insecurities came along with that attention because i just made her center or my life. I aslo felt i didnt put much effort to when going out i basically asked for approvals when going out here there but i did as much i could bcause i had really busy working schedule. I thought everything was ok or will get better with time but at the same time something bugged me that something was wrong and i could not understand what’s going wrong, until 23 dec 2017 she said to me it was over and that its not working and i dnt have that feelings for you anymore that was the moment when i felt the most horrible feeling of my life . I felt like ant crushed under foot. After this desperation kicked in and i tried to make her understand at first begged,pleaded and all but she said nothing she feels in her heart and that she is sorry. That was the moment i felt like doing anything at any cost i want her back because i truly love her from bottom of my heart and i check every resource i could find, read every article, book and watched youtube videos and all. So then i really found out lot more then i ever knew before and then i completely understood womens prespective and mens way of doing things all the other stuff which was right and wrong. After having complete understanding of relationship and complex mind of women in a weeks time, i apologised to her and told her that i acknowledge my mistakes and i have better understanding of relation then ever . I asked her to take slow from here and i have plan for new journey and all but she said that she appreciates all the changes i wanna make but she doesnt want or feel anything in her heart otherwise she would. Now she wants us to move on in our seperate ways but we are stuck together because of this aparment we have and my visa issues . She doesnt want to ruin my future and career after breaking my heart. So she is willing to help me with my visa and apartment, this will take 2 years to solve all these issues and she wants to be just friends and move on with our lives. But i told her i just don’t want to be friends i want more then that but i am stuck in very wierd complicated situation now. Please help me brad i would do anything to get her back i really love her to bits and i am determined in my mind and heart that i can win her back. I need your help!

    Reply
  8. Miles
    Miles says:

    Hi Brad, my girlfriend broke up with me before Christmas 2017, we were 2 years then. We are colleagues. I started the NC after I sent her a clean slate letter and mentioned there that hope we can still be friends in the future. She replied to that letter and told me it’ll take time for her probably. But after that day of sending her, and leaving the office, she happened to take the lift with me and asked if I’m on my way home and offered me to have dinner. We really had a great time, I might say. Does that mean I should continue a NC with her? What if she continuously contact me first like now? What do I do? How would I know she also wants me back or just realised she wants to be friends with me after I wrote her the Clean slate letter as what your program has suggested? I do want her to be back with me.. Thanks Brad!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You’d likely end up being friendzone if you’re always available to talk to her. This is why you ought to take some time out for yourself, show her you accept the breakup and that you’re thriving. If she keeps reaching out, then this really depends on the frequency and nature of the contact from your ex. If your ex continually messages you, then it’s important to put your ex’s messages into context, especially if this happened during the “no contact” phase. Is your ex trying to contact you about something really important, like an emergency, unpaid bills, or something equally urgent? If not, and your ex is really just texting some useless random stuff and/or asses his/her power over you, then you can just ignore and continue on with the 30-day “no contact” rule. Use your discretion. Watch and follow the tips here: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts and Phone Calls (And Win Them Back). All the best!

      Reply
  9. Paul
    Paul says:

    Hi Brad. I bought your program a couple of weeks ago and realised I should’ve found it earlier. My situation is we were together 18 years and I never committed to her in marriage. She had an affair after we got stale and obviously I had severe trust issues. We separated in November 2017 and I pestered and begged her to change her mind. I really said some bad things. I feel horrible. I started no contact on New Year’s Day after pleading to come back and telling her how much I could change. So far so good from not communicating with her except a text sent in error. Nothing major affected the NC. I’m struggling to get a grip on my situation. She has the house and I’m sofa surfing at friends of ours. I’m reading your guide and hoping after 30 days things will be different. I feel so alone right now.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      She could’ve been waiting for you to propose, man. 18 years is a long time! 🙂 If you ever get her back, are you willing to marry her? And are you sure you’re going to marry her? If you answer no to either of the questions then you may want to consider moving on, man. You’re just going on different paths right now where you don’t want to commit to marriage while she is willing to take things to the next level. If your answer is yes, however, and you see her as your future wife, then it may help to use the clean slate template, which is a free version from a piece of my Ex Factor Guide. This may help: http://youtu.be/6K3xufEwEFg The main goal is to bring your ex into an emotional neutral state by employing the 30-day “no contact” rule — let your ex miss you and don’t rush it. But in order to fully understand how this concept works, watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you than otherwise. Good luck!

      Reply
  10. Heart broken
    Heart broken says:

    Hi,
    me and my ex-girl broke up last October 2017. I have tried every things with her even I traveled to her country and met her and saw her with her boyfriend. after that I left them so quickly and went to my country she unblock me in messenger. I started to text her . then she called me and we talked for 3 hours. she told me she is going to marry and ask me to wish her happy life. before one day her marriage she talked to me video call and she said I am the most romantic guy she has ever met. I asked her for kiss she sent me a kiss. now she is married and I feel pain when I am thinking she is having sex with some one else .
    what should I do ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that, man. Traveling to her country just to meet her was not the right move. Anyway don’t be so hard on yourself though. It’s already a long distance relationship and she’s found someone not only to be with, but someone she sees with in the future. In this case, I really hate to say this, but consider moving on from her, all right? Watch this: Can You Miss Your Window of Opportunity to Get Your Ex Back?. You’ll find the right girl for you eventually if you learn to let her go. She’s out there! All the best!

      Reply
      • Heart broken
        Heart broken says:

        she sent me message today like this ” Great you are up early” I guess she checked my last seen to know when I woke up.
        what should I do ?

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          This really depends on the frequency and nature of the contact from your ex. If your ex continually messages you, then it’s important to put your ex’s messages into context, especially if this happened during the “no contact” phase. Is your ex trying to contact you about something really important, like an emergency, unpaid bills, or something equally urgent? If not, and your ex is really just texting some useless random stuff and/or asses his/her power over you, then you can just ignore and continue on with the 30-day “no contact” rule. Use your discretion. Watch and follow the tips here: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts and Phone Calls (And Win Them Back).

          Reply
  11. sania
    sania says:

    Hi brad..I had a relationship about 14 months.. my bf broke up with me cz i was treating bad with him..i wanted to use Facebook.. i wanted my friends back in my life..which he didnt want..i wanted my freedom.. that’s why he broke up with me and gave me freedom of my life..i wanna mention we did sex several times at his place… after break up i pleaded a lot ..but he didnt listen to me.. after 1 and a half month i did no contact period and he also did the same thing..after 31 days of no contract period he called me to it was my birthday. . I was so upset that day nd we fought with each other..i was so depressed and said dont call me again…after 3days i became very alone..i could not forgive myself for saying this.. i started texting him nd calling him..but he ignored me and treated me very bad..said dont cl me again..i tried to convinced him but i could not..thn i said i wanna meet with you for the last time..at your place..then we did sex..but we also break up our relationship normally like we are in touch regularly like 3/5/7 days later we talk..we met last yesterday in a restaurant. .he kissed me and do things like he used to do with me.. but after back to home we start behaving like frnds..so now our break up time is 5 months..we r still in touch but not in relationship.. I CANT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW WITH HIM?? I WANNA MENTION HE IS USING FACEBOOK REGULARLY AFTER BREAK UP..BUT IM NOT USING MY FB IS DEACTIVATE..BECAUSE HE Didn’T LIKE THAT
    I USE FACEBOOK…SHOULD I ACTIVE MY FACEBOOK AGAIN? PLZ NEED UR HELP..REPLY ME PLZ..I DONT KNOW WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW should i keep contacting with him?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Sania! Sorry to hear about what happened though. Is there any particular reason why he dislikes your friends or not wanted you to have friends? Don’t be so quick to give him what he wants, though. If he continues to want to have sex with you, then please employ the tips here first: What to Do If Your Ex Wants Sex (If You Want Your Ex Back). Also keep track of what you’ve been doing to see if it’s productive or not. Here are the top no-nos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tNRL7dWCTA Have you checked out my guide yet? It may be time to revamp your techniques. Before anything else though, take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting your ex back. Answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  12. Duchess
    Duchess says:

    Rereading that last comment I know it sounds like I’m a nut… honestly I kind of have been. I’ve totally broken down after the abortion and him telling me he wants a divorce. He still wanted to be friends though and that further messed with my mind. He would ask me to go about our life while living together like everything was normal, except it wasn’t. We slept in separate rooms (and still do) and were not intimate anymore. So I was trying to accept that while he would tell me he will never change his mind and never reconsider, but send mixed messages like asking me to join him by the fire or bring me dessert to my room, and plate it all nicely. I asked him please don’t do those things because it makes me confused and idk… the last 5 months have been hell. I’m looking forward to the individual progress I’ve been making, but not sure if I should give hopes up on reconciling or if it’s even possible.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. Why the abortion, though? I suggest you give him time to grieve for the loss, especially if he doesn’t want it in the first place. Whatever the case, NEVER make him feel like you’re forcing things to work. Okay? Getting back your husband should be done subtly. I’m sorry, I could be way off… but there’s lots of missing pieces here, and something tells me there’s definitely a lot of stuff I don’t know about the situation. Consider signing up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program instead so I can look into your situation more clearly and figure out what’s going on, then guide you on a regular basis.

      Reply
      • Duchess
        Duchess says:

        I guess my question is after ALL the mistakes,repeated mistakes mind you, that i have made, Is it worth paying $97 for marriage coaching? A lot of times I read what you write and you say don’t make these mistakes or it can permenently ruin your chances of reconciliation but I have made those mistakes repeatedly and so should I just give up hope? I don’t want to pay so much money if all the mistakes I’ve made have ruined my chances…

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          What type of mistakes and for how long has it been going on? When a client signs up for my coaching program, I always evaluate his/her situation first anyway to see if there’s a real chance of fixing the relationship before I proceed anyway as I don’t want to be wasting my time as well in a hopeless situation, if it’s a hopeless situation. Does that make sense? 🙂 Please take my Mend the Marriage quiz first to find out. Take care!

          Reply
  13. Duchess
    Duchess says:

    Not only have I made this mistake, I’ve made plenty. Let me explain.

    In July my ex said the hardest thing was to decide to get a divorce. But we fought too much and things weren’t getting any better. Since then I’ve been in heavy duty individual and group counseling to address insecurites, neediness, and much more. For the first few months I was a train wreck. I was angry, lashing out on him for wanting a divorce and also him seeming completely fine, unaffected with everything. I started drinking heavy and taking pills and being very unstable. I decided to get an abortion (i was early in a pregnancy and he told me he wanted a divorce.) The pregnancy deal really affected me and i just dealth with tjingd really bad. I didnt want to be a single mom or bring a baby into the world when i was unsure about my marriage. A few more months later, I’ve calmed down. Stopped drinking etc, and way more calm and mature. I still have set backs though. My husband has always stated he wants to remain friends. We still live together, sleep in two different rooms though. He hasn’t filed for divorce, he says that is do I can keep my health insurance. I’ve tried hard to get along with him, be his friend as on other advice articles it says the way to gain his trust back is to be his friend and remind him of good times and focus on positive interactions with him. Sometimes, it seemed to be working. He would do subtle things like pour a glass of wine for me, or ask me to go out with him… very rare compared to the times we live in tension. Which is mostly all the time. Usually the pattern is, I try to leave him be. I try to focus in my life. But he will often ignore me for days and I have explosions because he doesn’t consider me on things anymore and pretty much treats me like a roommate. He isn’t who he used to be at all. He actually called me a monster just a few days ago which he has never done before. I just hate being friends. I can’t shut off my feelings like that. Go from wife to friend… I can’t move out because I am still trying to find a job while keeping up with my therapy. I feel lost mos of the time. I wish i coukd controk my outbursts but it kills me inside everyday that this is happening. And he keeps drifting further away. I’m sure this situation isn’t like others… I guess my question is, after all the bad stuff, his completely shutting down… is it even possible to save? Ive agreed to be friends with him, I begged and pleaded and acted like a desparate woman… seems like I can’t recover.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Play your cards right and notice the world of difference that this can make. You may have to restart everything and stick to the “no contact” rule this time. A situation with an ex is often fragile, so you’d really want to omit, if not minimize these mistakes. It’s one step forward, two steps backward with an ex & there are no unlimited chances with them, so if you can do it right moving forward, then do so. Check out my guide so you won’t end up making the same mistakes. Good luck!

      Reply
  14. Anshul Mishra
    Anshul Mishra says:

    Hi Brad..me and my gf broke up after a relationship of 4.5 years..I begged in the initial phases but after going through your videos I initiated no contact.
    After some time i.e 3 weeks she contacted me herself. We had meeting and I acted very normal as you suggest in your videos.
    We had been talking frequently after that meeting. But I later found out that she is in a relationship with someone else now.
    But she still keeps texting and calling me , asks me out for parties and all. When I asked her about her partner she is already facing problems with him and also said trying for a way out of the relationship.On one of the calls she also told me how much she missed me and still feels connected to me.
    Please help me now as I don’t know what to do next..should I keep in touch with her and wait for the break up or should completely stop talking to her. I fear if I stop talking she will get more closer to her new partner and I will loose her completely. Please help I will appreciate it. waiting for your reply.

    Reply
  15. Don
    Don says:

    Hi Brad. My girlfriend of 8 years and I broke up about 7 months ago. The feeling for the need to breakup was mutual for quite a while near the end, but I was the one who finally did it. We stayed good friends for about two months before I moved away. Then after about two months away from her I had a huge change of heart, panicked about her slipping out of my life, and ran back to the place I left in order to patch things up with her.

    I did the needy / beggy thing unfortunately. Obviously it didn’t work. She says she’s moved on and she’s seeing someone else (though apparently he’s my double and she started seeing him right away so there’s a good chance he’s just a temporary me-replacement). I suspect she’s not really totally over me considering how long we were together, but I’m not sure how to approach the situation. We’ve been in close contact since the breakup and got along very well until I started asking for her back (which made her cold towards me). I’m going to back off and stop being needy and pushy for sure, but beyond that I’m not really sure what I should do.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Well, I don’t have all the information but there must be something good in your relationship if it lasted for 8 years! One thing that most people don’t realize is that they hold the key. Have you been actively trying to get your ex back? Don’t wait for this person to have an epiphany. If you want your ex back, then keep track of what you’ve been doing to see if it’s productive or not. Here are the top no-nos: 5 Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back Have you checked out my guide yet? It may be time to revamp your techniques. Before anything else though, take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting your ex back. Answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  16. Mike
    Mike says:

    Hey me and my ex broke up 8 months ago and we have 2 kids together how do i dissapear from her life for her to miss me if we have 2 kids that say goodnight to me eveynight? And has a new bf she wants to move in with

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      In this case, try to limit your contact with your ex. And by that I mean only interact with him/her only when absolutely necessary. Your case is actually one of the few cases where the “no contact” rule is an exception…but DON’T initiate random contact in any way and don’t make any unnecessary chitchats, all right?I’ve discussed it in these videos, as well as how to handle it: When Is It Bad To Ignore Your Ex? Exceptions To The ‘No Contact’ Rule and How To Act Around Your Ex (6 Tips For Handling Post-Breakup Encounters)
      but read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll have an in-depth view on how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. Okay? Take care!

      Reply
    • Thad
      Thad says:

      Hello my ex girlfriend has wecken her communication with me Since 17 weeks ago. After we got engaged over 1 year ago. She hardly texting me first & she never saying I love you. We not together in person because she’s in Australia & I in New Zealand compared to we wore communicating everyday outside the country zone. I saying to her don’t you like talking to me like you used to. She saying maybe we should be friends. Then I said: Your not interested in me like u used to. I crying out for you. I not happy. Nothing I can do about it ! She said I’m sorry maybe it’s for the best. Then told her this: My life is miserable. I know how that feels like with no girlfriend & she said: I’m sorry I don’t know what to say. Since 2 weeks ago I messaging her I miss you so much, stuggel to cope. I done nothing wrong. I need company & be married but nothing. Then 5 days after I asked her I’ll give you my airpoints to fly here & money but nothing at all from her. Will see after 30days I’ll wait to see what happens. I have no idea what’s going on with her & family

      Reply
  17. Jaffet
    Jaffet says:

    Hi Brad, my ex-girlfriend broke up with me 7 months ago after feeling I was taking her for granted. We were together for 4 years and felt she was forced into making a decision to break up with me. During the 7 months, we have been in contact. It initially occurred due to a family bereavement. We stopped talking for a while until she reached out in November and suggested we meet up. We met up a couple of times and it went really well. The most recent being a few days back where she even invited me back to hers! I declined the offer as I was busy.

    I tried to schedule another meeting for the following week, but she felt it was a bit too much to meet in consecutive weeks. I called her in order to try and understand what the issue was…long story short it ended up with her telling me she was still processing the breakup and she wants me in her life but only as a friend. Even though she doesn’t want to give me hope when she sees me she questions if she made the right decision.

    I explained to her that being friends wouldn’t work and we agreed it was best to not contact each other. I really do want a future with her. When we are together or talk over the phone it is evident there is still a lot of feelings there and we really enjoy each others company. We constantly laugh and flirt and can’t stop touching each other. Even since we agreed not to talk she has messaged me to check If I am ok and sent messages about unimportant things.

    Her inconsistency confuses me, how do I approach this situation?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Give her some time and space first, man. She really can’t offer much to you right now. And trust me when I say you wouldn’t really want to be friends with her right now. It’s a terrible idea. The boundaries won’t be clear and you’re technically both free to date other people. Wouldn’t it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you’re only “friends” now, don’t you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”)
      but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  18. Lulu
    Lulu says:

    Hello,
    My boyfriend broke up with me over a month ago (we are long distance due to our schools, in different countries and also due to our religion, dating is against our religion so, we see each other on vocations other than that we rarely see each other. We have been in a relation ship for 5 years and we were best friends before that. The last 1-2 years I’ve been fighting depression (I last two family members just months apart) we have been fighting a lot, then one day we we’re talking normally but I’ve been feeling that he changed a little (not talking that much and I know he was having a hard time with school and family issues so he was in a bad mood most of the time and we talks to me I somehow make it worst) I asked him he still loved me because I feel like he changed then he told me that he doesn’t love me anymore because he has this pain from his old relationship (he purposed to his 7 years GF she said no) and that he feels like he can’t love anymore and that he doesn’t want to hurt me. I was in shock so I just told him that he should of told me this sooner and that I think we should both go our separate ways, he told me that he wanted to stay in my life but if that what I want then he’s not going to push me into changing my mind. A day after I told him that we should be friends and that we weren’t right for each other in the first place and that we are better off as friends (which I didn’t mean but I just wanted to show him that I’m strong) a few days after it was his birthday, I texted him happy birthday he replied thanks. 2 weeks later on Nov 9 he texted me to ask how I was doing I acted like nothing happened at first then I felt like I should ask him what he wanted and he just told me that he wanted to see how I was doing( that totally confused me because if you don’t love and care about someone why would you take the time to ask about how they’re doing). Nov 19 I texted him to tell him about the issue in a project that we’re both working on and we just talked about that then then I finished taking he asked again about how I was doing, I told him I was doing great and I asked about how he’s doing and that’s the last time we talked (we broke up on oct 23). I wanted to know if your program can help me with my situation and if I have a chance of getting him back. Right now I’m in NC phase 20 days in and I’m aiming for 30 or 45 days. Can you give me a advice? Also, we talked about marriage, kids, I met his family and we planed out our apartment and we have it half do. He haven’t met my family because they’re not open minded like his. He also didn’t tell anyone from his family and friends about the break up

    Reply
  19. Lola
    Lola says:

    Hey I really need some help and advise because I’m really lost in the situation that I’m in. So I’m a 19 years old girl and I met that awsome, lovely and nicest guy ever who’s 22, during a sejour in Itlay. Not to talk to fast but I relly thought that he could be the one. We started this very intense and close Relationship for about 2 months. Very fast we moved to live together (like after 1 week) and we spent all of our time together, we were 24/7 together days and nights, which created a need of having the other around constantly. But came the day that he had to return to his home country while me will soon be living for university in a coubtry far from his. 
    Sadly despit that beg to try a long-distance relationship, HE decided to break up with me for not being a hold back for my future life and told me that we never know in the future we can meet back up and that today it’s the best choice for both of us and we should see in the future what can happen between us. Which has obviously gave me hope to be with him again. But I just can give up to get back with him because it make me so sad and depress to think that I lost him just because of the distance. It has been 2 weeks now that we are separate and I really don’t know what to do and need help.
    By being with him 24/7 for 2 months I now feel very lonely and miss his presence next to me. Should I keep trying to win him back despite the distance and how should I procced? Or should I just wait 3 years until i graduate and pray that by then he will be single or not engaged and might want to start again this relation with me?
    Thanks for the advices

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      It looks like you had a great thing going while it lasted… but the distance may have proven to be too much for you guys, particularly for him. Guys are very visual creatures and would need constant stimulation in order to maintain the same level of interest. In other words, we need someone we can be with physically and with the current situation you’re in, it’s almost close to impossible because of your existing priorities. i.e.: studies Do not hold off living your life for anyone, no matter how hot the sex was or how great a guy he is. Okay? You’re so used to being with him now and this is why it would take a while for you to adjust to life without him. But I think in some ways, you’ve already anticipated for this? I mean at some point, he must’ve told you he is returning to his come country, right? Take time to accept that. Consider moving on from this or if not, then apply the tips here first: How To Get Your Ex Back In A Long Distance Relationship but before he leaves, this is your best move: How To Get Your Ex Back If They’re Moving Away (Move Fast!). Once you start to see some progress with your ex, then don’t go at it alone. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  20. Christine
    Christine says:

    My boyfriend and I broke up on Wednesday. He stated he needed time, felt overwhelmed and needs to get his **** together. Two weeks prior he wants to give me a key to his apartment, I spend time with him and his daughter Sunday, Tuesday we talk about him feeling overwhelmed, he doesn’t want to end it though. He sends me hearts and kisses with a Good Morning Text Wednesday morning. Wednesday afternoon he says he doesn’t know what he wants. I tell him maybe we should go our separate ways – I don’t want to end it but, I don’t want to stress him out more.
    He says sorry – we discuss further and he tells me that he may have lost feelings for me. I was afraid to get hurt, I didn’t put forth the effort, that I know I should have. I was falling for him but was scared of this – I was scared to get hurt. He was the real deal! I miss him like crazy!!!
    I am on day 2 of no contact and I just don’t know if I should walk away or wait. He keeps telling me – maybe something will happen down the road, that he cares about me, that he may realize and regret this.
    I honestly don’t know what I should do. I apologized and told him I regret not putting in the effort and that he is 100% worth it. And, told him that I would definitely take that chance with him and wish he would have said something.
    I told him to do what he has to do, and if he wants to be with me he will find a way. Told him that while he is figuring out what he wants, I will continue my path. And haven’t talked to him since.
    I miss him and want him back!!!! What are the chances?

    Reply
  21. Jess
    Jess says:

    Hello Brad.
    My boyfriend and I were engaged, and he ended up cheating.
    I told him that I will forgive him, and so I did, but after awhile I felt disgusted in him, too much for me too even text him.
    He says he’s sorry, and that he never meant to hurt me, and that he wants me to think about us together in the future. Ireally don’t know if I should give him another shot, I will always be disgusted by who and why he chose her, instead of me. When we were together, we never really touched eachother, and kissed and held hands. We both wanted to wait till marriage, but when he told me over at my place, he said i could slap him, let him sleep on the couch, or whatever with him, I told him I wasn’t going to hurt him physically, but mentally…Now we text eachother everyother day, just to see how things are and how we are doing. So far we’re just friends, he tells me that he loves me, and he texted back, he knows I won’t say it back, but he wants to. He tells me Good Night, Good Morning, every chance he gets, he even wrote a book about me, his autobiography, and how he met me. But I guess I really need your advise, I ask my friends and family, they tell me to leave him, and that there’s better guys out there, but the thing is I really don’t want to let him go, but I can’t seem to forgive him either….What should I do??

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      That’s because you made a a rushed decision. Take time to really process your feelings first and what happened, okay? Your logic is now messing with your feelings and it’s getting all mixed up, which is why you ought to take some time first. All right? The short answer is is to move on, especially if your ex doesn’t seem to be regretting their actions. Most of the time, a lot of people would move on, but a few would still fight for the relationship, so this all depends which side you’re on and what your views are. But take into consideration about what I’ve mentioned here, too: Is Your Ex The Right Person For You? (5 Ways To Know For Sure) There is no right or wrong answer here because it is your relationship and it’s personal to you. Make sense? Anyway men and women cheat for different reasons, but if you think your ex is worth it and if there’s been a genuine connection between you two before the cheating happened, then try to see the roles that you BOTH played that led to all this mess and see once and for all if it can be resolved or not, okay? Really take your time before deciding though and be sure not to make any hasty decisions from an emotional place. Take care!

      Reply
  22. Carolyn
    Carolyn says:

    Hi Brad
    I desperately want my husband back, we have two children under five and so the no contact route is not an option. I feel hes having his cake and eating it, hes moved out into a house share so the kids cant be stay with him. so comes back to see them here where he doesn’t take them out but just hangs around the house. he talks to me the same way except without the affection. he has the majority of stuff here and doesn’t seem to be taking any of it any time soon. I have kept the conversation children based only and only reply if hes messaged me. he asked me about my family and our friends and whats happening in there and my life I cant be rude when hes here as our children will notice but I am very short with me replies ie theye ok etc.
    hes also coming for Christmas as he wants to see the kids but also has no other family members and seems to have dumped all friends including his best friend,
    we had a wonderful relationship we always talked and up until the evening he droppd the I don’t love you any more bombshell was still sending me loving texts.
    im so confused, could this all just be because our sex life has suffered since having our children ( very traumatic birth with compliations for me as a women ) and hes no longer my number one priority ???

    Reply
  23. James
    James says:

    Hi Brad, I’m so confused right now I don’t know which way is up or which way is down. Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago. I bought you book I’ve read your book I’ve started to go through the 31 days of no contact but after 2 weeks she contacts me and has even came over and spent time with me. After the first two weeks she called me and said what is wrong with me I’m acting out of character. Then 2 days later she comes to my house to spend time with me. But then she goes back on the fritz. Telling me that we’re not together and when I try to check on her she says your not my daddy, after she goes on an all night drinking spree. I was just trying to make sure she made it home safe and I was the bad guy. So I start from stage 1 and try the 31 days no contact phase and again it doesn’t last no longer than 2 weeks. I truly want my ex back. But after 2 weeks of not talking to her she sends me pictures of her nude and in lingerie and I feel like it’s just to make sure I still desire her. Also when she sees me out with another female she goes ballistic and calls me everything but the child of God. Brad please help, I love my ex very much and I want her back what should I do? Thanks.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Follow the guide down to a tee, James. You’re supposed to play it cool when dealing with an ex, but moreover you aren’t supposed to be meeting up with an ex. It’ too soon to be talking to her. Please review the guide again, okay? 🙂 A wide array of different emotions coming from an ex is somewhat expected when a breakup is still fresh and this is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with this ex. You both need to clear your minds first, all right? A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I’ve discussed here, watch it to learn a few tips to understand your situation better: Why Your Ex Gives You The ‘Hot & Cold’ Treatment (Mixed Messages Explained!).

      Reply
  24. Samantha Okuneye
    Samantha Okuneye says:

    Hi brad im Samantha my boyfriend just broke up with me a week ago now he has a new gf he met off the internet the real reason we have broken up is because his cousins told lies about me that i cheated on him i never cheated or lied to him since we been together it hurts me cause i am madly in love with him he loves me to and i know it its just his cousins don’t like me and he believed them i am pregnant with his first child i will love to have my man back in my life but how do i get him to believe i never cheated on him i need so advice everything was going good we was still together after his cousins that but he seems to still believe it i never slept with no other man but him brad please i need your help thanks in advance.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey there, Samantha! In this type of incident, it really all boils down to the level of trust already exchanged between you two. If trust has been established, your man will NOT easily believe all these rumours about you cheating, no matter who they come from. It’s of course, another story if he has some damning evidence. How was your overall relationship and does he know you’re pregnant? This can go many ways including him not being ready to be a father to him finding excuses to break up with you. Sorry. How long have you been in a relationship with him? Right now, I suggest to employ the 30-day rule and let him miss you and wonder about you. Since your situation is unique, you can work with me one-on-one so I get to learn more about the situation and therefore be more equipped to help you out, so sign up for my coaching program. Take care! And… talk soon?

      Reply
  25. Olesia
    Olesia says:

    Dear Brad, PLEASE, I hope you reply to this message.

    So my boyfriend(?) broke up with me 3 months ago. We were exclusive, but it wasn’t a commited relationship (when we first started seeing each other he said at that moment he wasn’t ready for to commit). 3 months ago he said: “I was hoping my feelings towards you would grow stronger but somehow the opposite is happening. I want us to “take a step back” and be just friends. Texting every day, meeting up at least once a week…”. At first I said yes but then (thanks to YOU and your videos) I ended the friendship. The thing is, I’m pregnant, we both want this baby, he wants to take part in everything (go to the doctor together etc) so it wasn’t possible to go entierly “no contact” but I did my best. Few weeks have passed and things started to get better. My ex started inviting me to the restaurant (of course he never let me pay for anything), to the coffee shop etc. Last month he took me to meet his parents (they wanted to get to know me). We spent 3 amazing days at his parents’ house and that was the time when he started holding my hand again and kissed me. Everything seemed perfect and it looked like he was going to give us another chance.

    Shortly after he went to a friend’s birthday, and…met a new girl. Just 2 weeks later they got together. We had to meet up again and he said the following: “I don’t want us to be friends anymore. No contact. No meet ups. Only if it’s about the baby. I want to take part in everything, be there and care for the baby, share all costs etc. But other that that, I don’t want you in my life.” Like, he broke ALL contact to me all of a sudden, after meeting this girl. Why? If he wanted us to be “just friends” as he said, why would he break the contact after getting a new gf? He has a lot of felame friends, so why is it different in my case? I’m just wondering…

    We have mutual friends. Last week they told me my ex and his new gir went to a night club together (please note: I didn’t ask them to give me any information! I’m not a stalker and would never do that). My ex is someone who HATES night clubs, loud music, big crowds…He never ever goes out. He’s quite shy,finds it “too stressful” and prefers spending the weekend at home. I was shocked. Like…it’s 100% NOT him. Why would he do things he absolutely HATES? I don’t get it.

    Dear Brad, what should I do? I’m madly in love with him…I keep myself busy, try to be a better person, go out with my friends, I even picked up new hobbies. But, nothings helps. I cry myself to sleep and really want him back. Is there a chance?

    P.S. Every time I post a new photo (status) on WhatsApp – he’s ALWAYS the first one to check it out. Like…I post a new status photo, then, when he’s online, she clicks on it almost immediately, so I guess he still can’t let go completely?.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Olesia, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but looking at how things are going, it doesn’t look like his feelings for you are strong enough to sustain a relationship with you. All his actions are proof to that. A huge red warning sign should’ve lit up on your head when he says he’s not ready for a commitment. Do limited contact with him because of the unborn child, but other than that, it’s pretty much over, sorry. Take care!

      Reply
  26. Xavier
    Xavier says:

    Hey Brad, I need some of your wisdom. Im hoping you can help me out. Me and my ex had been dating for 8 months. Everything was going great but I was feeling some type of way because our relationship was private because of the differences of culture. Me being an american of color and her being a Indian from the Punjab. The beginning we worked together so initially we advoided eachother but we knew it was something there. Finally after her arranged marriage fell through I mustered up the guts to court her and everything took off. We were intensly deep into eachother. We didnt like same music or have common memories from childhood but we clicked like we known eachother forever. after about 6 or 7 months Friends and co workers begin to notice something was going on between us. Finally i believe I could be with my woman the way I wanted . It went totally bad once her indian friends found out they threatened to tell her mother who is the only parent she has left . Her brother is also sorta rascist. She was told by her friends to end it. They told her nobody would come to wedding and she would lose her mother also. I never would demand someone choose me over their family. She initiated the the separation. She told me we cant fit into eachother lives, She doesnt want to lose her mom. So i told her i would give her that space. I changed my schedule to stop seeing her as much at work , but the days when our shifts overlap she wont even look at me or speak. I never bring up the issues i wanted to speak about at work, the first week of breakup i sent maybe 5 texts laying out my plan for us if that was the concern but after that i cut off all communications unless work related. I see her at work sad , sometimes teary eyed and i want to comfort her but i stay away. Brad this is one of the best woman i ever met and i believe she completes me. Now her friends and family are trying to get her into another arranged marriage with a indian guy in India and i see her facetiming and smiling for the camera for her friends but i feel thats not what she truly wants. I let her go and i want her to miss me or atleast be brave enough to stand up to her brother but in their culture the males rule it doesnt matter that she is 8 years older than him.She will leave for India in Mar . How can i get her back before she makes this mistake , how can i open her eyes . On the outside it looks like I dont care but man I miss her and want her back Help.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Xavier, sorry to hear you’re going through this. I don’t mean to be harsh but I hope you do realize that part of what’s causing the problem is you. I think long beforehand, way before getting involved with her, that you know the situation is going to be like this, right? To open up her eyes is totally up to her now. I highly doubt she’s thinking of breaking the culture and running off with you. She would’ve done that already if she chose to, instead of distancing herself away from you which means you aren’t her priority, man. Consider moving on from this and chalk it up to experience. Best of luck, moving forward!

      Reply
  27. Ricky
    Ricky says:

    Hey Brad my ex gf of almost 2.5 yrs broke up with me about 6weeks ago but we kinda tried to remain friends.. I have children she don’t.. anyway we went to my brothers wedding after the breakup, it wasn’t a good idea.. I found she’s is talking to some other guy from her country whom she met at our supposedly ‘trying to work it out stage’ in July.. she does all these spiritual events and organizes them as well, some good things and she met that guy at one of the events back in July which was held in her country.. so according to her she really respects, admire and sees him as a prospective bf or husband(when she said that it was like someone ripped out my heart and stabbed it simultaneously.. it hurt so bad)… and she told me that she never really trusted me fully or even respected me like she does with this guy(this hurt even worse :..( ) she lives in NY and he lives in Russia.. me and her did have an on off relationship but when we made back up we felt stronger then before but maybe I was alone in this feeling.. yea I want her back but she told me to not contact and have no communication at all anymore and that we can’t be friends either, this was after I called her a slave for the guy she’s talking to(guess it wasn’t a good move on my part)… anyway I brought her laptop back on Friday and left it at that..shes going to be 33 in a few weeks(should I send her a bday wish?) and she’s in a hurry to be married and start a family and I was going to do it as I did promised her that we will be married with atleast one child by next year and I already had a down payment on the ring during our ‘trying to make it work period’…I do miss her and want her back..my heart is so broken, can’t eat, can’t sleep.. she said she is totally over me(that hurt a lot)..I guess it’s a done deal with us?? Any advice Brad??

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Ricky, if you’re indeed already in the triying-to-make-it-work stage, then this woman may be trying to test your strength as a man by gauging your reaction to her flirting with someone else. It was not a good idea to confront her. Remember that even you two are trying to work things out, that she is technically single still and so are you. Unfortunately that means you shouldn’t let this affect you. Being jealous and stuff is reserved to when you earned the title back as her boyfriend. But this means you’re technically free to do the same as well. Consider dating other women. What’s more concerning though is the fact that it’s become an on and off relationship. Don’t you think it’s best to achieve stability first before deciding to marry her? Read this first to know what to expect: Things You Must Learn If You’re In An On-and-Off Relationship. Good luck!

      Reply
  28. Shu Hui
    Shu Hui says:

    Hi Brad!

    My ex broke up with me 1.5 months ago and I have been trying to get him back ever since. I thought you might have some ideas after watching many of your presentations but I’m still a little confused. My ex initiated the breakup and told me he doesn’t see a future with me but will still care for me and wants to be friends instead of completely pretend that nothing happened between us cause I played a huge part in his life. Two weeks into the breakup, we met and got together for two days before separating again and he was sure that he had no feelings for me left. However for the past few weeks, we have been in contact almost everyday (short text message exchange) through Instagram or snapchat only. He will reply first more than half the time but he doesn’t strike a conversation through whatsapp at all. He still speaks to me the same way as while we were in a relationship and it seems very comfortable to him. We converse in the lingo we created and he still calls me by my nickname and is concerned if something bad happens to me. It makes me very confused…. It seems like he’s treating me the same way as before minus the sweet talks or flirty texts and I really want to get him back. We have been together for 1.5 years and the reason for breakup was mainly the lack of communication which I felt could be salvaged. Right now, we are hours away from each other on student exchange so it’s hard to meet up like previously. Any advice on what his actions could mean or how to get him back slowly? It will mean a lot to me to get your reply! Thank you in advance!!

    Reply
  29. Catherine
    Catherine says:

    Hi Brad! Love your stuff. My BF of five months broke up with me, not because we don’t have a great relationship.. we do/did, but that he could not see a future w/ me as I have a daughter who has serious behavior disorder right now and I have a toxic ex that undermines what I try to do… all that would be difficult to bring into home and into his family and his career. At one point, he just looked at me and said, ‘you’ve got to get your house in order’ – no in a mean way at all.. it’s just a fact.. and I am working on that. It’s about a month since the break up, things have gotten so challenging w/ her that I had to give physical placement to my ex and we are looking at putting her in a boarding school.
    Our breakup was not in the least volatile, it was gracious and loving and I thanked him for a bunch of things and he did the same. We are in our late 40’s and both had challenging marriages that ended in divorce. There is a connection between us that is like neither of us has experienced. We love each other, we believe in one another, support each other’s dreams and inspire the other to be the best we can be, we care for one another, laugh together, disagree respectfully (when we do) the emotional, physical and intellectual chemistry is all there. There is no problem w/ ‘us.’ (he reminds me of that). We both have challenging exes.. mine is especially toxic. My ex-bf and I have done what is necessary to be healthy ourselves before we met. We are super in synch with each other, love one another, we actually went to the same high school so we have all the same friends that love us… (we just never knew each other.. grade difference), we were moving towards marriage, and our goals as husband and wife worked perfectly together. I have seen my ex-bf a few times, and the chemistry and all the feelings are still there. He still has some of my things and I still have keys to his house that he is happy that I still have them. When both sides of our friends and family see us in photos or saw us in person.. it was obvious to them, strangers, and, finally to us, that we are made for each other. I’ve backed off communication and only respond when he contacts me, but we get super flirty and have been intimate. I tried the no contact rule for 11 days until I had to go to court to sign over my daughter’s physical custody placement (per counselors recommendations due to the danger to me and my other children)… and we were intimate again.. out of this world for both of us. What in the world do I do as it seems we are still together in our hearts and most other aspects.. except we are no longer ‘bf & gf.’. and we don’t go out on dates. We also vowed to be intimately exclusive. When we are intimate.. it doesn’t feel like a friends w/ benefits type ‘booty’ call… there’s great substance to it, as before. It’s all out of the public eye right now (he’s a public figure), so as to keep my situation private and out of someone slinging the mud of my family life onto him and my children. He knows my circumstances are changing with my kids and ex. Help us! Please advise 🙂

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Thank you, Catherine! Sorry to hear you’re going through this, though. It does look like he’s being in so much pain because of the circumstances you’re dealing with. It’s one thing if he expects a perfect relationship, but try to get help for you daughter? At least he’d see an effort that you’re trying. As for your ex, I suggest you try to settle it with him as well and put him in his place! 🙂 If your situation is unique, you can work with me one-on-one so I get to learn more about the situation and therefore be more equipped to help you out. Let’s get you into my coaching program so I’ll have a better idea as to what’s really going on and have a better grasp about your overall situation. Take care!

      Reply
  30. Nick Vezzi
    Nick Vezzi says:

    Hi Brad. My girlfriend broke up with me about a month ago. It had been going downhill since mid July, as she suffers from depression and anxiety, and a few things happened in her life recently to put her in a complete tailspin. She first initiated being just friends for a while, but obviously that didn’t work as our feelings for each other overtook that whenever we were together. Now we are at the point of not even speaking. I’ve been doing the no contact rule, but after 21 days, I sent flowers to her to let her know that I am thinking of her. That was on Monday. She sent me a response on Messenger this morning saying she loved the flowers, but sees no way that we can get back together, let alone being friends right now because of how we would pull back in. I really don’t know what to do at this point. I love her and prior to her emotional crash, we were practically living together and I had plans to propose in December. That’s obviously not going to happen now.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      If your ex has depression, the most loving thing you can do is to give each other space while she gets help. Encourage your ex to seek treatment because clinical depression is something only a therapist specializing on this can handle, even this is outside of my scope. But I can help you how to handle things on YOUR end as you go through this difficult ordeal. I know it can be incredibly tough knowing you’ve given it your best shot, yet your partner still fails to appreciate it or is breaking up despite it being a good relationship. Anyway it’s a bad idea to be friends. Consider signing up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis.

      Reply
  31. Ash
    Ash says:

    Hi Brad,

    Thanks for your advice i always watch your videos and messages to peoples inquiry. thanks you so much for helping us recover from sadness and confusion. I know you’re very busy but i hope you can find time to answer my questions because i have been confused for almost 2 months now. I have a long distance relationship for nearly two years now. everything started very well, the communication is good we are happy and in love. long story short, last month i decided to step back on the relationship to save what we have started for the reasons of 1. plan to visit me is not moving, no firm plan, we haven’t try a face talk, and phone calls, his excuse was shitty phone service. So i decided to leave him temporarily, i said he can call me when hes ready to talk to me face time with me or visit me here. 4 days after my message, he decided to leave me, he was sorry he wasted my time. (then he blocked me on FB and communication apps) I didn’t expect he can do that so easily i though we had a strong foundation on the relationship. i love him so much brad. it’s hard to move on. He’s from UK im from Philippines. Please help.

    I plan to send him a hand written letter and card.

    Reply
  32. Ana
    Ana says:

    Hello Brad,
    My bf broke up with me 2 months ago.He told me he doesn’t love me anymore(before that he was crazy about me and wanted to marry me).He keep telling me that I’m the best girl that he ever had and met and that no-one ever loved him like i did.Last 2 months we argued a lot and I wanted to break up but he didn’t want.He told me” I’ll never let you go.No we don’t break.”He acted like he is crazy about me but after 10 days he suddenly broke up when I asked him Do you wanna break up!😐After 5 days I went in his city to talk face to face…he told me he doesn’t love me anymore(10 days before that he didn’t want to let me go)So it was weird to me.After that I went on vacation and he came 3 times to visit me I thought we will get back together but he told me we are friends with benefits now!He broke up but he was jealous,called me to ask where I am,with whome etc.He was worried about me cause I was so sad and stressed.But in the other hand je was jealous when he saw photos with male friends on FB.So I really don’t understand his behaviour.After vacation we use to talk for 10 days but I decided to stop with that.I told him I’m ok now and I need time for myself cause I feel happy now and there is no reason to stay in touch anymore.But he insisted to be friends.And all the time he told me I’m the best girl in the world.One that you can meet onece in your life.So what is problem than???😤I did no contact for 7 days but when I visited his city he sent to me and we met for a cofee.After that again I wrote to him that i don’t want to be friends anymore. He just insist to be friends.It’s 4th day of new no contact now.And I think he will give up on me this time😭Please help me.What to do next.
    P.S Sorry for my English

    Reply
  33. Ana
    Ana says:

    Hello Brad
    My bf broke up with me after 10 months.We loved each other so much.He even wanted to marry me and to have baby after 2-3 months of our relationship.The last 2 -3 months we argued to much,cause I doubt he started to chat with other girls via Facebook so I wanted to break up…but when I calm down he broke up with me.He told me he doesn’t love me anymore (10 days before that he told me he won’t let me go…he will never let me go so easily).After that we met 3-4 times when I was on vacation near his city cause he live 2-3 h far from me.He came to visit me but he wanted to be just friends with benefits.I tried to win him back but nothing.I made mistake and agree to be friends with him for 1 month.I did no contact for 7 days,he sent to me and after 7 days when I was in his city and we met for a cofee…When I come back home i told him i don’t want to be friends with him anymore,I need time for myself and there is no reason to stay friends,and I feel ok and happy now and I recovered after our break up.He insisted and insisted to stay friends…In the end he asked me Did I find other bf and I don’t care if we were friends or not.What to do next?Sometimes he act like he still loves me…flirt with me,ask me if I date other etc.4 days now I act like “cold turkey”.
    Thank you!

    Reply
  34. Alesia
    Alesia says:

    Hey Brad, thank you very much, this article has helped me a lot. My ex broke up with me about a month ago after only 4 months of dating and of course he wanted to stay friends. He said “I really love you as a person so it would be very sad if we cut off communication.” Then he said: “You know, I would like us to meet AT LEAST once a week, to text everyday, go on trips together. But only as close friends. No sex, no romantic whatsoever.” I admit I screw it up and said yes, but after a week or so I discovered your videos and felt SO dumb. Soon after I told him I made up my mind and didn’t want to be friends anymore. I could tell he was devastated, he couldn’t believe it. The problem is, I’m pregnant (found it out a few weeks after he broke up with me), so we had to meet up again and decided to keep the baby. He wants to accompany me everytime I visit the doctor, he wants to know how I feel etc. Plus he said we would care for the baby together, share all costs and so on and that he wasn’t an a**hole and would never leave me alone without any help.
    Brad, can I still use the no contact rule in this situation?
    By the way, it’s been a week since the last time we talked to each other (we went to the doctor together last monday and he has not contacted me since). But whenever I post a new status on WhatsApp he is ALWAYS the first one to check it out.
    Please Brad, I really need your advice. I don’t understand this guy.

    Reply
  35. Ariel
    Ariel says:

    Hi Brad,

    I knew this amazing guy from my ex company. He is my ex colleague. We were together for 17 amazing months. Like any other couple we had our ups and downs in the relationship. We had a great chemistry and we can understand each other perfectly. Well the bad part is that his family & friends couldn’t accept me and wanted us to break off. Finally we ended our relationship 3 weeks ago and we had been applying the No contact rule. Before the breakup I told him that I will leave all the social media. He asked me not to as he would love to hang out for a cup of coffee sometime in the near future. I miss him so much and I really do want him back. Can you kindly advice?

    Reply
  36. Stephanie Fong
    Stephanie Fong says:

    Hi Brad,
    I was dating a guy for a few months. We met online and started out as friends (his suggestion bc he thought he was too old for me). We had a lot of chemistry and had sex after our third date. He was all-in, but things were moving very fast and I was hesitant. After a very romantic and perfect long weekend together, he begged me to stay over at his house although I was sleep-deprived and wanted to go home. I ended up staying and coming down with the flu. I went home the next day, but forgot a bag of important things at his house. He offered to bring them over, but doesn’t have a car so I drove over to get them. He was concerned and told me to come up so he could cuddle with me. Against my better judgement, I went and was upset. Told him that I wasn’t sure if this was going to work out. He friend-zoned me and said that he couldn’t take my going back and forth about our relationship. I haven’t spoken to him since. I emailed him and he was very polite, but has faded away. Is there any chance of getting him back. He told me that I was the perfect girl for him and was calling me his girlfriend on our vacation. Can someone’s feelings change so fast? I really liked him, but everything happened so fast. What should I do? We haven’t seen each other for five weeks.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Stephanie! Sorry to hear you’re going through this. Yes, you do are making quite a sacrifice if you’re the only one coming over to meet him. Was it a long drive? You could’ve met halfway, though. I suggest to think things over first. Will the circumstances change if you do get back together? Because if it won’t, then you two may end up broken up again for the very same reason. Cut off contact first (I always recommend to reach the 30-day mark) to get a better perspective on things, okay? Take care!

      Reply
  37. sws
    sws says:

    so, i officially broke up with him about 7 months ago, he said the reasons are that we’re on a long distance relationship, my parents dont allow me to have a bf so i have to lie everytime i have to meet him, and my parents caught us sending nudes so it turned out so bad so he doesnt want to be with me again because of these complicated reasons. after that, a few months i get him back like being his girlfriend but not officially. in the end, he gave up with me about three weeks ago. and as you suggested, the first step to get him back i have to do “no contact” with him about a month. And 2 weeks from now he’ll be in my town so maybe i can get to meet him because it’s a rarely chance because he’s doing national service (military) and i am about to go back to another city because i’m in college, but im still in a no contact period because i was doing it from the first day of august. so what should i do to get him back? should i just contact him in the third week of august so that i can meet him or not?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Meet him? Where? Online? How old are you? If you’re old enough to make your own decisions, then go and follow your heart. However, if you’re still under your parent’s care because you’re still too young, then I think you should respect their decision. 🙂 Nothing good will come if you have to keep hiding your relationship from your parents and basically lying about it, plus it’s long distance! You can meet him when he’s in town, but try to keep it light and not expect too much. So whatever the case may be, act responsibly yet try not to take things too seriously for now since you may be in a period of growth and lots of changes, including preferences in attitude, personality, etc. Focus on your studies instead, all right? Take care!

      Reply
      • sws
        sws says:

        I mean meet him in person. I’m 20 now and it’s so frustrated that i can’t have a bf at my age. Making schedule to meet him again was very difficult that in a year i could only meet him 3-4 times. I don’t want to take things seriously too but i feel he’s the one i want to spend my life with. I still want to get him back 🙁 Should i meet him in the third week of august and end the “no contact” period or not?

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          Try to be financially independent from your parents, first. Because I think you already know how parents can cut off someone’s support if they don’t oblige? It’s a very real scenario that you could face here, so consider the pros and cons first. Consider the risks. Take care!

          Reply
  38. Ollie
    Ollie says:

    My ex said to me were never getting back together, i made mistakes like argue about her past sexual partners, and not having enough sex with me, and got very jealous when she was round other guys, which caused arguements, i fucked up big time , and that was the reason she broke up with me, i feel terrible being my own monster, and the only hope i had of her saying yes to getting back with me is gone it just feel shit, im living with her in a uni house with 5 others, and a guy which helped cause the break up, honestly what should i do, because im so attached to her, it like i cant envision a reality without her, also she has depression so no contact rules fails, because she constantly relates depression now due to my fault, i feel like she has cut me out of her life, when i literally would sacrifice my life for her, i was an idiot for the arguments but wanted to make her happy everyday, and this past two months of break up have been utterly terrible, i helped her when she had depression, was grieving her aunts death ,and helped her form friendships, i literally wanted to give her the world, so honestly what do i do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Do your best to follow the tips here: How to Get Your Ex To Forgive You. If your ex has depression, the most loving thing you can do is to give each other space while he/she gets help. Encourage your ex to seek treatment because clinical depression is something only a therapist specializing on this can handle, even this is outside of my scope. But I can help you how to handle things on YOUR end as you go through this difficult ordeal. I know it can be incredibly tough knowing you’ve given it your best shot, yet your partner still fails to appreciate it or is breaking up despite it being a good relationship. Anyway it’s a bad idea to be friends. Consider signing up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis.

      Reply
  39. Anna
    Anna says:

    My boyfriend and I broke up one week ago (He left me because a guy took advantage of me when I was drunk but he says that I cheated on him and I can’t change his mind) and I want him back.
    So he texted me three days after the breakup saying that he wanted to be friends, and of course at first I agreed. I told him that I changed (I did not change because he found out, I did it months ago because I felt like I need to forgive myself because I didn’t have to be in that party than night without him, I just went because we fought) and I begged him so much, he started threating me, saying things like “Stop talkin about “us” or trying to get back together or I will block you’re your making things more worse, I just wanna talk to you because i’m used to it” and I did, I started talking to him as a “friend” but it didn’t feel right, we have never been friends. I felt so sad, so hurt and I was crying while he was texting me as a friend.
    I’ve known him since always and what you say in your video really does make sense. I’m his support and he wanted to use me as a confort meanwhile he was healing while I was expecting us to get back together. At the end of our little “fight” (way before I watched this video) I got really upset and I decided to delete all my social media accounts and turn off my phone without telling him, I WAS PISSED, I HAVE BULIMIA NERVOSSA SINCE HE LEFT ME LITERALLY, I NEEDED TO CUT OFF THAT RIDICULOUS FRIEND ZONE (did that on wednesday and still haven’t turn it on) because if he SAYS he doesn’t want me back, why the fuck does he text me??? Now I understand, I hope he misses me and wants me back, but things will start over, he needs to forgive and never let me go to a party alone again (we were engaged, engaged people should be with their fiancé everywhere, unless it’s girls/boys night, or that’s the way I think, when we weren’t engaged then I wouldn’t mind that much).

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      If you can’t trust yourself or have no trusted people around when drunk, it’s best to take your boyfriend along with you. Come to think of it, if somebody did took advantage of you while drunk, it could have dire consequences. It would be to your best interest to look after yourself, okay? Anyway enough about that. For now, give your guy some space and time to process all of this, all right? Take care of yourself so you can have a healthy relationship with him. Definitely avoid the friendzone like the plague so cut off contact at least for around a month or so. Don’t go at this alone. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon?

      Reply
      • Anna
        Anna says:

        THANK YOU, haven’t talk to him since, actually I quit drinking and partying, I focus my mind in my job and my grades and cut off my toxic friendships. I’m feeling a lot better. I’m giving him his space, I don’t want to push him because I really care about him and he cares about me but we still both in shock. If he ever talks to me again (and if he doesn’t I’m not going to either, because I made clear that we can’t be friends) I need to explain everything, cause he doesn’t know the full story, I want him to get back with me because he loves me and forgives me, not because i’m some kind of victim, I don’t want his pitty, I want his support.

        Reply
  40. Alexis
    Alexis says:

    Hi Brad!

    Me and my fiance broke up two weeks ago. He said he felt confused and controlled in the relationship. He said he wanted space but to remain friends for awhile. I already screwed up and said yes. I told him yesterday that I can no longer be his friend and after this weekend at an even we have to go to, I will no longer be talking to him because I can’t be his friend. Do I mention by conditions again Sunday when we return back or do I simply cut him off?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Tell him you can’t be his friend as soon as possible. In the event, you don’t have to ignore him but don’t act like his friend either. Think “civil” with your ex and be on civil terms with him. Does that make sense? This should help guide you: How To Act Around Your Ex (6 Tips For Handling Post-Breakup Encounters). If you still need my help further on this, however, then you and I both ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Please check on availability first because I only have a limited number of clients I can realistically manage before I go into spontaneous combustion. 🙂 Talk soon!

      Reply
  41. Jane
    Jane says:

    Hi Brad
    My Ex breakup with me some months ago for reasons best known to him. a month after the breakup he wasn’t texting or calling me nor even picking my calls or replying my texts. i gave up on trying to reach him. he started communication some months back. he said he wanted us to be friends that he realize he need a friend and he missed being with me for the past months. i accepted the friendship cus i thought it might be the way to get him back at some point. he calls and text me always. he visits me, i visit him and we have slept a couple of times but he does not want to commit to a relationship for now he says he is not ready and has a lot of things he wants to take care of right now and he doesn’t want to hurt me in the process that’s why he break up with me. i really do love him and i want him back. after i read your article on the dangers of being friends with an Ex, i started ignoring his calls and texts. and when ever i ignore his calls or text he try to know why i don’t want to talk to him. he comes to my house to check on me on weekends to see if am doing ok. i don’t know how i can tell him now that i don’t want to be his friend. i don’t know if i should just sent him a text that i don’t want to be his friend anymore.i really want to do the no contact rule but he is always interfering either by calling or visiting me. i still want to have him back. i know he still loves me and i don’t want to lose him. please help me.

    Reply
  42. Chrimson
    Chrimson says:

    Hey Brad. I was beating up on your article and I just had a question. Me and my ex have been separated for over seven years now. I’m still in contact with her because we have two kids together. The feelings I have for her haven’t gone away yet and I’m trying to do the no contact thing. I just wanted to know, is there a way to do that when there is children involved in the situation and if so, how would I go about doing it especially if I am the scenario number two type?

    Reply
    • Chrimson
      Chrimson says:

      My apologies for the typo at the beginning of my comment. It was supposed to saying that I was reading up on your article.

      Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! Your case is actually one of the exceptions to the “no contact” rule. However, granted how it’s been seven years, I think it’s more important to check on what you’ve been doing, so far, to get her back? Watch this to get the general gist: How To Get Your Ex Back After Months or Years Apart. The only advantage you have, given the situation, is you don’t have to worry about how to reconnect/initiate contact after many years, so ignore part where I talked about how to reconnect. Anyway since your situation is quite unique, then don’t go at it alone. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon?

      Reply
      • Chrimson
        Chrimson says:

        Yes. Definitely. I can honestly say that this is the first woman I’ve actually been in love with and I truly want to try and get her back without damaging my relationship with my children. Right now, they are all I have. They want to see mommy and daddy together as much as I do. If not, more.

        Reply
  43. Madeline
    Madeline says:

    Hey Brad, my situation is a bit atypical. My ex and I were very guarded, both, and he lives just under 2 hours away but we saw each other for 3 years and had a lot of good times. We never fully defined the relationship because we were both seemingly so guarded of the other. But we spent quite a few holidays together and watching games at my bro’s, eating many meals and his staying down at my place, or me at his parents’ huge farm when they’d go away. In the first half of the three years he had the power then I kinda pulled away and the last year at least I was distant.. plus I didn’t trust him… the last time he visited was in Jan and we had a bad fight and I was kinda done with him but again it wasn’t defined.. we continued to chat a lot on messenger but about our shared interests. He hinted around about coming down this way but I didn’t invite him.. dumb me. Anyway in May and June he pulled away a lot and I finally figured out he had met someone up where he lives that he’d known in the past. I was devastated. I realized then how much I did love him. (But as for me I’ve tried to date guys from my past and it never stuck.)
    He said he wanted to still remain friends and I didn’t even answer that. But!! Something HUGE happened – he messaged me that his father died suddenly. So I was kind, of course, and even though I knew it’d be very difficult I went to the funeral. It was BRUTAL for me and I was in a panic inside (didn’t show it tho) because he was with this very plastic looking blonde. I’m a very classic kind of girl, ladylike. Had on a beautiful dress and peals and classic pumps etc. I think he was shocked that I came all the way there. I conducted myself well. But now he wrote and thanked me for coming…
    My next move…?? In our case I think I didn’t make him feel he was good enough in the last times we were together (Dec and Jan) so I pushed him away. Now I’m really broken but I don’t want to act a fool. !! Yet I almost feel like I didn’t ever reveal my heart all the way… we both didn’t.
    So how to handle something like this? I do feel we loved each other more than we ever allowed ourselves to say… that makes me think “do I need to tell him the truth about how I feel?” But now’s not the time, right?! I genuinely do love him… I’ve had a pattern of pushing men away. I feel like maybe he’s crying for help with this relationship he’s in (to me subconsciously) yet they were all lovey dovey and he and I were never like that with the PDA, etc. Then again he has just lost his dad. But she was up there in front by the casket like a wife !! In just a 6-8 week relationship?? That hurt.
    Thanks so much. I really like your stuff the most of all the relationship advice I’ve seen… 🙂

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Good! Seems like you’ve handled it well, despite meeting his new significant other. It takes a lot of courage to be in that kind of situation. But you seem to be showing grace over pressure! Pat yourself on the back for that! Anyway no, never tell him how you feel, though. Remember the golden rule: attraction should be built naturally and organically. It’s never something you reveal and hope someone reciprocates. There is a time to talk about feelings, but trust me, it won’t be anytime soon, okay? So keep your cool besides, he’s most like rebounding. So continue to work on yourself and becoming the best you that you can be. Stay beautiful! My Youtube videos should offer more insight and if you still need my help further on this, however, then you and I both ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Please check on availability first because I only have a limited number of clients I can realistically manage before I go into spontaneous combustion. 🙂 Take care!

      Reply
      • Madeline
        Madeline says:

        I’ve read and watched your other stuff but am getting a mixed message. I’m the one who pulled away six mos ago, (but we still messaged).. So don’t I have to tell him I DO care and regret it? I mean he’s in a new relationship and he’s quite vulnerable, having just lost his dad.
        And I must say, I feel more discouraged having read that article about if you initiated the breakup, and watching and reading what you say about long distance relationships. Between the fact that we live just under two hours away, and that I intitated the breakup (but it was just gradual..), it seems my chances according to you are much slimmer. (Although you’re not God! 😉 I feel like if I don’t at least let him know I regret the breakup, that this girl will totally get her claws in while he’s in this state, 😞

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          A two-hour drive may not be that huge of a distance compared to couples who live on a different timezone. I assume with this amount of distance, you still get to spend time together in person? If you hadn’t met in real life yet and all you do is talk, talk and talk some more, then that really doesn’t count as a relationship, I’m sorry. That’s more like a friendship. Anyway which article are you referring to? If you read to the end, you’ll see that there is a time where you bring up the talk. Everything is a process that leads to that aspect, instead of going straight at it. Focus on letter “D” if you don’t wanna read the whole thing at least pay close attention to that part. Here’s the article: “I Broke Up With My Ex, And Now I Totally Regret It” All the best!

          Reply
          • Madeline
            Madeline says:

            Oh of course we met in real life. !! We were seeing each other for days at a time, him down here, or me there, for 3 years. I told you that in the first reply. But we drifted apart after the last time he was here in Jan (we had a fight that time too) but still messaged after that, I mean. During the 3 years we were seeing each other but it was a few weeks in between visits. But now, no, we don’t just run across each other, he lives way up in the country. I’d have no reason to go there. He might eventually make an excuse to come here though. I could see that scenario happening but for now he’s with this new chick.
            Because his dad died I have written once and called once to see if he was okay like I would for anybody but I know that’s not what you recommend. The death was making it different i felt as a Christian, but I’ll start the NC now.. he hasn’t replied to my two messages but was very nice to me at the service and wrote and thanked me for coming which was why I replied. With the death isn’t it kind of a mitigating circumstance tho? Thanks Brad.

          • Brad Browning
            Brad Browning says:

            Unlike emails, I can’t really keep track of our interactions via what’s written here, since it’s overlapped by other posters and my answers to them. Consider signing up for my coaching program. Anyway it’s completely okay to reach out to him because of his father’s death (may his soul rest in peace), and it’s NOT considered as breaking this rule, so continue on with the “no contact” rule until you at least reach the 30-day mark. Okay? Take it one step at a time so you won’t feel overwhelmed. Take care!

          • Madeline
            Madeline says:

            I read the whole thing, naturally. I don’t just skim stuff. My only thing was this situation with his dad’s death and then the LD thing (not a huge distance but enough to not run into each other) and then the having broken it off myself (but continuing to chat and not really defining anything clearly.) anyway I truly wish I could afford your coaching but I’m in a deep hole financially right now. I’m older than most of your clients I’d guess, and he is 15 yrs younger but we are both well into middle age, I’m in upper middle age. But I’d never waste your time on a relationship that wasn’t face to face. He would live here for 4-7 days usually at a time, and I’d do the same up there but not as often. (I have several cats!) lol Usually 3-4 days I’d stay there. Anyway I really appreciate your time. Maybe soon I can afford to have one on one coaching. 😉 **Fingers crossed** 🤞🏼 😀

          • Brad Browning
            Brad Browning says:

            I’ve had clients of different ages, really! 🙂 Anyway the distance could be a huge culprit when it comes to relationship dispute. It disrupts an otherwise great relationship if the distance were to be closed. Does that make sense? Give him time to miss you first while you focus on yourself. Take care!

  44. Susy
    Susy says:

    Hey brad
    My GF and i had a relationship only for a month! And it ended with a fight and physical abuse (not rape!) From me, because i got so angry. I didn’t apologize to her and began the no contact period which is a week. Can i get her back?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, I supposed I don’t have to remind you, physical abuse is a serious topic. It doesn’t have to be rape for her to go to the police and end up suing you or file a restraining order. Try NOT to let your emotions get the best of you, okay? 🙂 You might want to apologize to her since it’s due. But really, consider moving on from this and consider taking an anger management class to work on yourself first. Good luck!

      Reply
  45. Dennis
    Dennis says:

    Hi Brad, I would really appreciate any advice you might have for me in trying to get back my ex of 4 years. I ended the relationship to do some much needed work on myself, but now it’s been over 4 months and I’m worried the time to get back together is dwindling. Although we’ve had some weeks without contact we have been in on/off contact the whole time and seen each other in person a few times which went well. Unfortunately I’ve done some pretty stupid things that send the message that I want us to both move on, when really I do want to get back together and into a better-than-ever relationship…screwed myself over there. A few times she’s said things like ‘friends forever’ and I’m worried that I’m deep in the friend zone. It’s been a couple of weeks since we’ve talked and I plan on calling tonight to catch up with her and ask her if she’d like to meet for dinner sometime soon. Any advice on how to approach trying to re-kindle the romance?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Dennis, stop reaching out to her. You ought to let her feel what it’s like not to have you in her life. You can’t do that with on/off contact with her. So anyways it’s still important to put the “no contact” rule into priority because if you’ve been in touch after the breakup too soon, then you BOTH aren’t taking the time to process the breakup and been acting like it hadn’t happened. Burying the problems which had caused the breakup in the first place is the surefire way towards a doomed relationship. Make sense now? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  46. Auri
    Auri says:

    Hi Brad,

    I am in a rather unique situation in that me and my boyfriend are not in a relationship but we have not broken up either. We had a fight over a silly thing, and he said he felt like I do not trust him. This hurt him so much that he is scared to committ to the relationship and he wants a couple of weeks to think about it. We have been together for six years. Although we are now “on a break”, he still calls me on and off on some days often to check how I am and also to ask questions about “if we get back together…” I am finding this period very difficult in that I don’t know if he will come back. He doesn’t know either. He says he loves me and he misses me, and when he calls I can hear that in his voice. The last time we called, he said “even if we don’t get back together, I will still call you and we can be friends because we were best friends”. This has me worried because I feel like he is looking to enjoy the single life while having me as an emotional crutch. Our two weeks are not up yet. It’s been six days. What do you suggest I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Auri! Sorry to hear you’re going through this. It’s important to give yourselves some time first to think this over and for him to sort out his feelings. Was the problem really about trust? Show him that you trust him if that’s the case. At this point, DON’T be friends with him though. As you may already know, the thing with exes, especially the one whose idea is to break the relationship, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch and you best not respond unless it’s about something important. Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You.

      Reply
  47. Carla
    Carla says:

    Hi Brad,
    I’m a lesbian and my girlfriend and I have been in a LDR for the past 6 years. She broke up with me a month ago. Her reasons are that I am the only one for her and I became a burden, other than an equal relationship. another reason was that she had lost her fun personality and needs to be herself now.
    We had various arguments from february until now. Caused by the fact that she was already distancing herself, (not replying immediately to my texts, spending more time with friends, avoiding our evening calls, etc) Which is also another reason, as she put it, that she was tired of giving me explanations as to where she would go, or why and so on, At that point I was feeling her slip away and was trying to pull her back. By becoming jealous and controlling

    Our last meet up was at the end of April and the situation was very stiff. I spent two weeks at hers and we had no sex.
    She seemed happy when I was buying her gifts,spending money on groceries and outings for the both of us. But when it came to the loving part, she would find an excuse and draw herself away. It was pretty messed up sometimes, because she took care of me when I had a fever, telling me she loved me and on the last evening before I left, she came to the bedroom and hugged me while I was preparing to get into the shower.
    When she broke up with me she told me that she doesn’t want to cut me out of her life, that she still cares
    for me and loves me, but differently.
    Now since the breakup we have texted. Nothing major though. Only snippets of what we are doing.
    I have to admit I was/am devastated and distraught by losing her completely and fell into to trap of begging, explaining all my mistakes, telling her I miss her and love her. To the point that I have asked her to come on a mediterranean cruise with me in September and that she has the whole summer to think it over. She has told me that she is thinking about it, but doesn’t know, just doesn’t know.
    I’m not sure whether she is just going through a crisis.
    So now my question is Brad, How should I take it from here?
    Do I keep contact with her, while keeping it light and positive, hoping she will change her mind? Or do I step back, in order to give her space and time to actually miss me?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      She still cares for you but not in “that” way anymore. She’s lost that loving feeling! Sorry to hear that. I suggest you let her realize what it’s like NOT to have you in her life. Don’t be her support or her ticket to exotic places. 🙂 Let her really miss you first, okay? Rebuilding attraction should be done naturally and organically. This is what my guide is for. I think you play the more dominant role in your relationship? If so, then get the men’s version of my Ex Factor Guide. But since this is a unique situation, if you need my regular guidance and monitoring of your situation, consider signing up for my coaching program so I can help take a closer look at what’s really going on and how to take things further from there. Talk soon?

      Reply
  48. Saikat
    Saikat says:

    I Recently had a breakup 1 week back and she chooses to be a career oriented girl but i don’t expect her to be single forever. Out of anxiety i tried doing all the stupid things that i thought it can help me to fetch her attention but as you mentioned that didn’t work. I have started to follow the no contact rule and i am trying to follow it . Her birthday is next month i want to contact her what should i do? should i gift her something or should i just text her about it.
    I know from she is dating someone else i don’t want to lose her but at the same time i respect her choice and independence about choosing a career as her prime focus. I feel bad every moment and just can’t get over her. feelings every minute. We were in a relationship for 6 months and she says she loves me too but she needs her independence.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      DON’T give her a gift. Your ex is mostly lying about the reasons, anybody can have a career but still manage to keep their relationships. Watch what I’ve explained here and watch the entire length of the video to gain full understanding: Signs Your Ex Is Lying About Your Breakup. Anyway you can send your ex a birthday greeting on his/her birthday, just make it quick and direct to the point, end the conversation first too because you’re busy — it helps if you really are, so hang out with friends, learn a new skill, etc. Also avoid drama like the plague and don’t get into an argument with your ex at any cost. I know I’m stating the obvious, but people often miss its importance. Anyway watch this, too: 20 Questions: Lightning Fast Answers To Your Breakup Questions. What you ought to do is rebuild the attraction by playing your cards right. That’s what my Ex Factor Guide is for, so perhaps check it out? Good luck!

      Reply
  49. yolo
    yolo says:

    Hi Brad, I’ve been looking for you and finally I found you brother lol my girlfriend and I been dating for two years. she broke up with me many times then I could get her back thanks to your videos Brad , and recently she broke up with me again because of a silly excuse. Well, I lost contact with her as she deleted me from FB and also she barely replies now to my phone messages , but when I told her I would find someone better, she started to send me some messages asking me if I was serious about finding someone else, and the stupid me told her no, I still love her and she told me all she can offer now is ” friends” but I denied her suggestion and told her that I’m interested in being your boyfriend as you said in one of your videos Brad. Well, I haven’t got an answer to my suggestion, yet. but I tried to make her text me as I asked her that I would send her some screenshots about a something she likes then she replied and I tried the day to text her but she didn’t reply any text, the most important now she wants to be friends but I deny this and she met new male friends now, I’m very confused especially after the quiz in your site that told me to act so fast before it’s too late.. how to solve that Brad ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You definitely need more time to process things and clear your heads especially since this on and off dynamic has taken its toll. I suggest you get busy with a lot of stuff like hobbies, work, etc. focus on what makes you feel good and take time to heal as well. Also read my Ex Factor Guide, which covers commonly possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Good luck!

      Reply
  50. Ana
    Ana says:

    Hi Brad! I’ve been watching your YouTube video quite a lot recently. I broke up with my boyfriend for almost two month now but I’m still hoping for us to get back together. I’ve tried the “No Contact Rules”. However, her sister is my bestfriend and we chats in social media quite often. A few days ago she text me and send me a photo of him because she didn’t know that I already broke up with his brother which actually made me missed him. We’ve been in a relationship for 5 years so it is difficult for me to forget him. After thinking hard, I tried to text him saying that I miss him but he replied that he doesn’t feel the same towards me anymore. I ask him why but he insisted not to tell me the reason in case I might feel hurt but after I said that it’s okay and I just want him to be honest, he told me that he is already dating someone else. He also said that I should try moving on and find someone else better than him for now. Actually, I’m a bit confused by his words especially the words “for now”. Its sounds like after dealing with our feelings we will get back together. Plus, he said to me “I’m dating someone else but I don’t know whether it will last long or not”. I don’t really get what he means by that. I think maybe he said that to ask me to wait for him or he was just traumatized because of our past relationship. Actually, we’ve been in long distance relationship for about one year and a half because I’m studying in different states so it’s really hard for me to convince him to get back together. There is one guy who asked me out recently but I still haven’t answered it because I’m scared that I might hurt him because I still love my ex boyfriend. I think that if I date anyone right now, I will break their heart and that will make me feel guilty because they did nothing wrong. I still can’t imagine myself being with someone else other than him because we already did “everything” together and he is my first love. What should I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Ana! Sorry to hear that. Try not to ask him anything about his current dating life, though. A huge array of different emotions coming from an ex is somewhat expected when a breakup is still fresh and this is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with this ex. You both need to clear your minds first, all right? A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I’ve discussed here, watch it to learn a few tips to understand your situation better: Why Your Ex Gives You The ‘Hot & Cold’ Treatment (Mixed Messages Explained!).

      Reply
  51. Sushmita
    Sushmita says:

    Hi Brad!!
    Me and my boyfriend were committed for a week and later i got to know that he still had feelings for his ex…i got angry and we broke up because he completely got back all feelings he had for her. We agreed to be friends but later i got strong feelings for him and asked for a second chance. He told he likes me but can’t be in a relationship with me because he will hurt me. But i want us to be together and he just wants to be friends. I don’t want us to be friends.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Sushmita! Sorry to hear that. Let him finish whatever unfinished business he has with the ex. Sorry, but there’s not much you can do at this point, especially if he’s seemingly (subconsciously or not) used you as a rebound, for your ex to jump back too quickly with her. Good luck!

      Reply
  52. dave
    dave says:

    hi brad my girl broke up with me 2weeks ago,i try to talk her to change her mind but she said she need some time alone and she is not ready to be in a relationship and want us to remain friends but i told her that wont be a good idea and i needed sometime alone to focus on my life as well and i started the no contact right after that,ever since then she always peep on my status updates everyday but dont drop comment or anything,and she get jealous when am with the guys and always curios about what i am doing….all i just need to know is how to approach her and what to say to her when i decide to end the no contact or i should wait till she contacts me?i really love this girl and i want to confuse back……..

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Good question. After the 30-day “no contact” rule and dedicating and good amount of time on yourself and healing, you can transition whenever you’re ready to the second phase. Here’s how to reach out: How To Talk To Your Ex Again – Establishing Communication With Your Ex. Now I know that it’s already a given, but you’d be surprised as to how a lot of people send all these messages at once. Please refrain from doing that, okay? Just send these messages one at a time, get a response from your ex first and don’t bombard her with text messages.

      Reply
  53. Ridzi
    Ridzi says:

    Hi Brad, First let me thnx you, all your articles see s to be a nice mind relax.
    I was in a long distance relationship for over 5years now he left me and his gonna get married, it’s hurts me like heal to see him with someone else.. I have no idea what I have to do, I don’t wanna let him go, can’t even imagine my life without him..
    I feel to end my life, I don’t want him to be with anyone else, life seem to be soo painful without him..
    Please help me over come my pain..

    Reply
  54. Abel
    Abel says:

    Hey, Brad! My girlfriend and I broke up a few days ago over the phone. It was a long distance relationship and we had decided to take a 3-month long break so we could sort things out and grow without any distractions. The plan was after those 3 months we were going to get back together and start our relationship all over again. So after those 3 months, I contacted her through text and I noticed that she would now take hours to respond to my texts when before she would take under 10 minutes to reply to pretty much all of my texts. She would talk to me like a friend and there was almost like this cold feeling from her texts as you could tell they didn’t carry the same love and affection they did when we were dating. I thought it was strange but didn’t think much of it. So after her avoiding flaking out from talking on the phone for about 2 weeks I finally got to talk to her because I wanted to find out what was going on. So we talked caught up and everything was going great we were making each other laugh and it was just like old times. Then she told me we should start talking about our relationship because she would have to go soon. We talked for hours about us and the problems in our relationship, we talked about what was going to happen between us, and what we wanted. Of course, I wanted to stay with her, but she didn’t feel the same way as she did before those 3 months. She explained to me that she didn’t have romantic feelings for me anymore and that she only saw me as a friend now. She also explained that her interests were somewhere else, in another guy to be precise. Somewhere in the middle of our break, she met some other guy and she lost interest in me and became interested in this one guy. She said they weren’t dating and she wasn’t planning on dating because she wanted to focus on herself. I can’t really take her word for it and I feel like she might end up dating him if she isn’t already. So after being heartbroken by this, we talked some more and she told me she still wanted to be friends because she still really liked me and enjoyed talking to me and she really liked my personality. At first, I declined and told her there was no point in being friends. However, after going back and forth for a while, she convinced me to stay friends. I agreed and I started to accept that we had just broken up. Because of this, I told her we should delete all of our pictures together and remove ourselves from each other’s social media. We, however, agreed to stay friends on Facebook. After this, we proceeded to talk some more and throughout our talk, I told several times that I would be there for her if she ever changed her mind and wanted to get back together and that I would be there for her. After we wished each other luck we hung up on the 5 hour long call and we haven’t spoken since. I now regret this decision because I really miss her and it’s only been a few days. We were really great together and I know I made her happy since we had really great chemistry and had similar interests and humor. I really want to try and win her back!! We haven’t talked so I started no contact the day after our break up and its been 3 days since!! Brad what should I do after No contact and should I be worried if she does date the guy she’s interested in? And what else must I do in a long distance situation to win her back!!!

    Reply
  55. Elsa
    Elsa says:

    Hi Brad,

    I just saw this article when I just finished 1hs phone call with my ex-boyfriend after 2 weeks’ no contact period.
    I’m strongly feeling that we’re just like friends now, we talked about the hobbies and my recent life ( Initially I called him for asking him how to deal with his stuff stored in my place since I’m suffering from bedbugs recently). He was still nice to me and gave me some advice on the situation, and we also talked about my next trip to Vancouver in November (We’re long-distance).
    I guess I’m stuck in a friend zone right now….
    How can I get out of it? I want him back, I know it’s almost impossible before I have chances to move to Vancouver 2ys later. But I really do not want him to get used to the feelings being friends with him. However, it’s a little too abrupt to say «no more friends» for now.
    Could you help me? Thank you very much!!!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Wait at least a month before attempting any type of contact with an ex. An exception is if your ex contacts you first about something really important. Other than that, extend the “no contact” rule for around a month since two weeks without contacting is not long enough for this technique to work. Besides, it’s a bad idea to be friends. The boundaries won’t be clear and you’re technically both free to date other people. Wouldn’t it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you’re only “friends” now, don’t you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively: Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”) and Escaping Your Ex Girlfriend’s “Friendzone” but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
      • Rae
        Rae says:

        Hi Brad,

        My ex boyfriend broke up with me a month and a few weeks ago. He told me, he really likes me and I’m attractive, but our relationship will not run for a long turn. We talked about what went wrong but in a mature way. After the conversation, he told me he wanted to see if this works. He also asked me to be friends even if this didn’t work out. He asked me this twice, but I told him I won’t. I have never pleaded or begged him because I understand it won’t help me with getting him back. He also asked me out once and we had a fun time teasing each other. Although everything looked fine to me, he started being distant, and stopped talking to me. 10 days later, he texted me about the festival going on in his city, but didn’t ask me out. I was not sure whether he and I were on the same page or not, and I wanted to know what he was thinking about. So I suggested talking on the phone, and he called me. We enjoyed talking and catching up . We even flirted a bit each other. When I asked him about the silence period, he was stumbling and told me he thought we were just friends. He never told me it’s over although he knows I’m not interested in being a friend. I didn’t agree with his idea but I told him this is not working. I also told him he had better open up himself because he is avoiding this kind of talk till last minutes. We talked for about 30 minutes.
        He also told me we should do this (talking) sometime, but I told him let me think about it.
        Since then, I’ve decided to do no contacts. But two weeks later, he emailed me about his company’s new products and links. 10 days later, I replied to him casually, added maybe we’ll talk later. It’s been there days after sending the message to him, but I’m not sure NC is working…
        He and I dated for two months, so I thought 3 weeks is enough. I’m not sure what he is thinking about, and what I should do. He enjoyed his vacation and going to a gym and didn’t look like dating with someone new. I’m planing to go overseas for three months.

        I want to get him back. Could you help me?
        Thank you!

        Reply
  56. Tim
    Tim says:

    Hey, Brad! I broke up with my exgirlfriend a few weeks ago and, to be honest, I do want her back… Before I came across your videos, I texted and emailed her…Now it’s been 4-5 days that I have not talked to her at all.
    She will be out of the country for a month (the trip starts the next month). What should I do? She does not want to see me at all and told me to give her some space… Btw, My birthday is in a few days… Is it possible she calls/texts me? What would it mean?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Don’t contact her during the trip at all. That should be your way of giving her her much needed space. For now, I suggest you get busy with a lot of stuff like hobbies, work, etc. focus on what makes you feel good and take time to heal as well. Also read my Ex Factor Guide, which covers commonly possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Good luck!

      Reply
  57. jen
    jen says:

    Hi Brad, I was in a long distance relationship with a military guy I met off Twitter. We talked for four months then met in my city in February this year and spent a wonderful week together. No complaints, but as soon as he returned to his city, he became incredibly inattentive to my needs and I did give him sufficient space. He just seemed to value online gaming more than spending time with me. I suffer from mental issues and have been going through terrible things including the death of a loved one. I was very upfront with him about these issues since the beginning of our relationship and he said he would not mind them because his sister suffers from mental illness as well so he could handle it.

    Fast forward to two weeks ago, he calls things off with me and tells me that our relationship has made him (especially me) unstable and he just wants to remain friends for now and maybe date again when both our lives are in better shape in the future. I responded with “no” and removed him from all social media. He did the same but I actually blocked him. What do I do now? I miss him and wish I had him back but I also wish he didn’t hurt my feelings the way he did. I was kind and patient with him since I was his first serious relationship but he didn’t think twice before hurting me.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear you’re going through this. Make it a point to be in a better position mentally, emotionally, etc. before anything else, okay? One way to do this is to employ the 30-day “no contact” rule. Anyway getting an ex back is a gradual process, so there’s no one-action solution for everything. Okay? The “no contact” phase is a good start, so do that first if you haven’t yet. If you have. then I’m glad you’ve completed it. There are two more phases to go with a few other steps in between (in the right order). What I’m trying to say here is it’s a 3-phase process, and it’s a bit complicated to explain it all on here, but I made an overview in the hopes of making people understand, so watch it here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) or read my guide for the entire process. Good luck!

      Reply
  58. fred
    fred says:

    Hi Brad, me and my ex broke up about a week and a half ago. She said from the beginning she wasn’t ready for a serious relationship but we drifted into an official thing over 4 months. We got into a bit of an emotional rollercoaster towards the end (I was going through a hard time with other parts of my life). She broke it off because she said she still wasn’t ready for anything serious and she stopped seeing me in a romantic way. She said that her romantic feelings could come back in the future and we might get back together in a few months or a year. I’ve told her I’ll get her back one day and she smiled. We have agreed to stay friends with a deeper connection but I have been applying the No Contact rule for the past week and since then she has been actively liking all my social media posts and has messaged me on Facebook for small talk. I would really like to win her back over but have been going with the idea that i want her but don’t need her. I feel like this has built my confidence and I think that this confidence could win her back as it is what attracted her to me in the first place. How do you think I’m doing? How long should I continue the no contact rule for?

    Reply
  59. Spring
    Spring says:

    Hi Brad,
    My bf of 2 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago. He lost his mother a month and a half ago,and said he needed space and time to start processing his mom’s passing, and he felt like the kind of support i have to give is not the kind he needs right now; he said he realized how much space and time alone he needed the week his mom died, as we were apart during those days. He said that I needed to take time for myself to work on myself and learn how to be alone, he said that I require too much attention ant that right now he simply did not have it in him to give this much attention to me and to the relationship. he also said that in the current moments he is not actively loving me, though he loves me more than anything, even if he never has to say it again. He also said that I should work on myself for myself and not for him or not for the hope of getting back together because he needs to rebuild himself and he does’t know how long that will take and if he will ever be able to offer anything to me or anyone from this point on. I contacted him a short time after the breakup, I called him to share something funny with him, he chuckled and I ended to call really quickly saying i couldn’t stay. I then contacted him via email a few days after to apologize for the things i didn’t do right and for smothering him and requesting attention before the loss and after the loss of his mom (that’s accurate). He never replied… I purchased your program 4 days ago, but had already started the no contact rule the week before. I realized that my situation applies to 5 out of 6 of the “deadly relationship sins”- there was never any cheating, i just smothered him a lot and acted really insecure throughout our relationship, but one thing I know for sure is that there was always a lot of love between us.Just poor communication and lack of self love from my end. Is there any hope in your opinion? I’m afraid I lost him as he is grieving and most likely not thinking about me at all. Thank you in advance for your response.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. Looking at the gravity of what he’s going through right now, I think it’s really important to give him his space first. Let him grieve both for the loss of his mother as well as the failure of your relationship. It’s only then that he’ll start to heal and rebuild what you’ve had with him. This all takes time though, so be patient. Indeed focus on yourself and in your own actions first while he heals, okay? Take care!

      Reply
      • Spring
        Spring says:

        Thank you Brad! I will do as you said- give him his space and time to heal as I focus on own healing and growth.
        Blessings!

        Reply
  60. Arsh
    Arsh says:

    Hi Brad, hope you are doing well and thank you for the videos. I have a quick question. My ex dumped me 2 weeks ago, we had a fight. She asked me to be a just friend, I rejected it firstly, but then I accept it because it was hard for me at that time. Now after watching these videos, I found out that I made a mistake if I wanna her to back. She was hot & cold during these 2 weeks, we communicated a little through text message. Now I wanna start “NO Contact” phase to get her back. Should I tell her that I don`t wanna be in the friend zone, or not? How should I handle this issue?
    P.S. I did not beg her to give me another chance. Honestly, she was undecided and this situation forced her to keep space from me and I tried to fix it. Unfortunately, it caused she think I am insecure and needy. This was the source of the fights and the breaking up.
    Thank you.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Simply put, it’s a bad idea to be friends. The boundaries won’t be clear and you’re technically both free to date other people. Wouldn’t it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you’re only “friends” now, don’t you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”) and Escaping Your Ex Girlfriend’s “Friendzone” but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  61. Sara
    Sara says:

    Hey Brad, I hope that you are doing well. My boyfriend broke up with me a couple of weeks ago saying that he just wants to be single and not tied up in a relationship right now. We were in a relationship for about 6 months and it has mostly been long distance. He broke up with me without even putting any effort or trying to resolve what the issue was at hand or discussing it with me in a mature way. I am open to changing certain things for me but if he doesn’t tell me then I cannot make those changes. Anyways, he broke up with me and I didn’t really chase him after that and went with the no contact rule. He said we could be friends if I wanted if not then that was my choice as well. After 2 weeks, he texted me and asked me how I was doing and then said he never closed it off. I was confused and thought he wanted the relationship again so I tried contacting him the next day and talked with him like we used to but he ignored my texts. He finally said that we had broken up a few weeks ago and that we were just friends again so that is why he texted me. It didn’t make sense to me so I asked him for closure and proper satisfaction in a face to face conversation but he doesn’t want to give that to me. Instead he said his new girlfriend wont like if I Facetime and that if I have any more questions that I can text and ask him. I told him that what we had was not meaningless and needs to be closed off in a proper way. Since he started the relationship, he needs to end it the right way and leave me satisfied. After that I have not heard back from him or tried texting him. Deep down inside I am very hurt and I want him back but I have not showed him any of that. Instead I am acting more careless and free and like I am okay with the break up because I do not want to be the desperate needy girl. How do you think I can get him back? I was thinking about waiting a month or so and then writing him a letter on how I feel. We have had mostly a long distance relationship but I have visited him in person several times as well. I do not know how to win him back. Please advise me 🙁

    Reply
  62. Tasja
    Tasja says:

    Dear Brad, Is there anything in your guide for hopeless people who has left relationships as it was impossible to continue like that anymore? I have been a mistress for 7 years and now I have left. My problem is that I can’t be with him and cant be without him. Though I am not sure I can really do anything about these all.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Tasja! I supposed he’s still married? I don’t really encourage people to stay in that kind of relationship because judgment aside, it is in reality, way too much trouble than it’s worth. And even if, say, you do manage to get with him. The baggage as well as a lot of associated issues stemming from this kind of relationship is usually too much for anyone to handle, since especially considering it’s been 7 years. It’s best to move on from this, all right? Take care and I hope you find the right guy for you soon! The sooner you let go of the wrong relationship, the sooner you’ll find long lasting happiness with a real chance for success.

      Reply
  63. Adam
    Adam says:

    Hey Brad, My Girlfriend left me a little over a month ago and although I initially did try to convince her to take me back and tell her I would change, once discovering your programme I did engage in the ‘no contact’ stage. Before the stage she did block me on all forms of social media but then add me back again after not even 24 hours. After the no contact stage was finished I started to message her again but she made it clear that she was happy to stay friends but ‘couldn’t see us getting back together’. I didn’t necessarily agree, but we continued talking over a period of about 5 days, just small talk about how work is going and about the weather. I decided to message her a couple of days ago stating that I could not be friends with her because it is unfair and would be too hard for me. However this quickly turned into an argument, I don’t think she liked the fact that I stood up for myself and she thought she could walk all over me. After the argument I told her I was gone forever and then she blocked me once again on all forms of social media except for WhatsApp. I’m convinced the reason she didn’t block me on WhatsApp is because she want’s to leave an avenue of contact open for me as she is still dependent on the attention I’ve been giving her despite us not being in a relationship anymore and I believe she thinks that I wont be able to last very long without contacting her. So now it’s my goal to avoid contacting her and do my best to move on and better myself by going to the gym and getting out more. I was wondering if there is any advice you could give me at this difficult stage because I do miss her and she has told me she still has feelings for me in the recent argument, I really want her back but I feel like we are just drifting further and further away.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Good move on avoiding the friendzone. You really ought to be giving each other space, though. I suggest you get busy with a lot of stuff like hobbies, work, etc. focus on what makes you feel good and take time to heal as well. Also read my Ex Factor Guide, which covers commonly possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether.Good luck!

      Reply
  64. Annie
    Annie says:

    Hello Brad,

    I broke up with my boyfriend last Friday, he was teh one who said the we cannot continue together, we had a long distance relationship Im mexica and he lives in USA, we meet 3 months ago in USA, I went to see him, he said he does not have time for me and the relationship is been painfiul for us because of that and distance, I acepted his decicion even that my heart was falling apart, I sent him some messages saying thank you for the good time together and telling him how much I love him, after that he started to send me messages asking how my day was and I asked him what was teh meaning of these messages then he told me he broke up with me because he feels that the relationshio was not working propperly but at the same time is hard for him to let me go because if he does that that will be the biggest mistake of his entire life but as I was preassuring him to tell me why he stills writing me he definitely wants to end up with me, I wanted to follow your advises of not being his friend and take the space of the 31 days at least talking to him that is why some how I stoped him to write me like a friend, I love him and I would like to come back with him but Im not sure if I´m doing the right thing.

    Could you please suggest me what to do.

    Many thanks in advance.
    Regards!

    Reply
  65. Khanyesa
    Khanyesa says:

    Hi Brad. My ex brought my things I left behind at his place, he didn’t come alone, and that made me retaliate and call and text him non stop. He has now officially blocked me. I don’t know what to do. Seems like I have ruined my chances.

    Reply
  66. Sylwia Waszewska
    Sylwia Waszewska says:

    Hello Brad, I’ve watched few of your videos on youtube and I liked it a lot. However, my friend sent me them a little bit too late. I’m 2 weeks after really messy and unpleasant break up, my boyfriend broke up with me after six years and plans of marriage. I’m totally devastated now. After a break up I tried to contact him few times, called him when I was drunk and even wrote him an email that I love him and our dog very deeply. No response of course. Do you think after that, no contact rule which I try to do right now will be still wotking? Or I screwed up totally and there’s no chance for us? Thank you for your time and your videos

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Yes, it’s not that bad anyway. I suggest to give it a shot because your best bet is still to employ the 30-day rule and yes, it will work in a sense where you BOTH will get to clear your mind to be in a better position to deal with each other when the time comes — instead of letting emotions overrule everything, risking things to get blown out of proportion even further. Makes sense? But will no contact ALONE work to get your ex back? Most of the time, it may be the case, but sometimes (especially if your situation is unique) it’s not, because the no contact phase is only part one of the three-step process I teach in my Ex Factor Guide. Learn the basics here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) I also made a quick vid to those who are seemingly lost and could use a reminder on what to do: Want Your Ex Back? Stop Thinking About Them! (Psychological Warfare).

      Reply
  67. Sean
    Sean says:

    We dated in high school at fifteen ,got back to gather at twenty five been together most of the past five years broke up couple times but always got back together after a month or two we have a three year old son together who we both love very much her and I don’t really have much family to speak of except eachother and our son so when we broke up eight months ago we still saw each other everyday to swap our son I disnt do well with us being apart this time because she was really done and I she was fighting every way I got her back before off this time .long story short we decided it was easier financially and for our son to live together again but as she said strictly as roommates..friends. ..I obviously jumped at this opurtunity because when we made this decision it was three weeks before we actually moved in together again .I agreed to this for one .I figured it be easier to get her back .but like a week before we moved in together she started dating the fuckin cook at her restaurant that she waitresses at .the guy is 16 yrs older than her an he had been trying to hang out with her since before we even broke up…… .so we move in together ..a week later he is her “bf” lol mind you he has no idea we live together and sleep in the same bed.. with our three year old ..on the nights that she stays home with us which has become four nights out of the week .well its been two months of this now and I been working out again at the gym an seeing other girls here and there which she says she’s fine with but since I started looking better and not acting completely obsessed with her she started …on the nights she’s home …laying with me on the couch wrapping her legs on me at night in bed stuff like that and she’s had sex with me twice now and cheated on him with me another time recently too but she still goes to stay over this guys house three nights.week an talks like she plans on staying with him and I see she likes him alot and from what I hear I personally think its a sexual thing but i don’t know all I know is I gaining some ground I feel like but she fights tooth an nail her feelings for me and I know it ….I just want to save my family brad I’ve changed alot and I think she starting to see this an I just don’t know what to do from hear ..alot of your advice I can’t use because of my unique scenario with her what do u think bud ??? I love her I just need to get her to be IN LOVE with me again help me save my family man please if I had the extra money I would buy your help in a sec I just am really scraping by right now

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Sean! It’s a unique situation indeed since she’s neither able to let you go nor stay committed to you, despite still showing signs of attraction. I just think you need to push the right buttons. What were the issue/s that plagued your relationship that led to the breakup? You may find this latest video helpful to your case: When to Ask Your Ex To Be Boyfriend/Girlfriend Again. Moreover, it’s important to look into that because her getting with this guy could be a result of being frustrated with your relationship, and thus her rebounding. So let’s try to see what’s really going on, shall we? I suggest you consider signing up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk to you soon!

      Reply
  68. Nat
    Nat says:

    My ex broke up with me last Thursday. We met on a chat site before we met in person and started dating. When he broke up with me he said we could still be friends, which I agreed to while emphasizing I didn’t want us to lose each other from our lives. In terms of getting him back it wasn’t the smart thing to do, but I have really bad abandonment issues, and if he left completely I would have been crushed.

    Additionally, he broke up with me for external factors (or so he said, he could have been trying to spare my feelings but he was having a really bad week, and me clinging only exacerbated his bad mood despite my efforts to help). I want him to understand that romance between us is not more important to me us being friends at all, and I want him to know that I’m here for him. He’s been in a tough situation for a while now, but he has a lot of growing to do as a person (as we both do).

    This is where I’m confused. We still have each other on Facebook. He’ll like things I post and share, and his status still says “In a relationship” from when I’ve changed mine (even though I’m 90% sure he just forgot to change his; it still had the date of our anniversary). It’s been almost eight days after the fact and I haven’t messaged him. Last night we were both in the same room of the chat site we met on. I was talking about something, and to my surprise he referenced an inside joke between us while also directing it at me. I responded and wished him a good night when he left to sleep, but I still haven’t messaged him, and he hasn’t messaged me directly at all.

    Now I’m worried he’s expecting me to reach out. People keep telling me he should because he broke up with me, and even if I initiated and contacted him directly, I already know what I’d say. But his actions are confusing me, and I feel stuck. I worry he’s trying to act like the break up didn’t happen, then that makes me feel like he doesn’t care, I get sad, and it’s a bad cycle. Please help me figure this out.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Nat! Sorry to hear about the breakup. It’s barely even two weeks, so him not deleting you on Facebook could be his way of coping. Everyone copes in lots of different ways, so it’s best not to read into this too much. Watch this to help guide you: Are You Overanalyzing Your Ex’s Behaviour? For now, you can stay busy yourself by focusing on your own life and your own passion. It would help if you read my Ex Factor Guide as well since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential. Take care!

      Reply
      • Nat
        Nat says:

        Hi Brad,

        Thank you for your videos. I’ve been watching a lot of them lately and they’ve been helping me make sense of things. I think my biggest issue is feeling like I don’t have closure on the situation, since he never ruled out the possibility of us dating again in the future (which has a good chance of happening as we were together for over a year), but also tried telling me there are other people out there who are better for me. At the least, I know better than to pressure him into talking about something like that.

        I did end up reaching out to him and opened with a topic of mutual interest. I didn’t mention anything about the break up or our past relationship, did my best to keep things short and lighthearted, and made sure I was the one to end the conversation. I was surprised by how quickly he replied each time and by how even the conversation felt, but I also know better than to engage again any time soon at the risk of smothering him. I’m worried this will confuse him, but right now I’m trying not to over think things, and am trying to focus on my own well being and progress.

        Thanks again for your help.

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          I’m glad I’ve helped out, Nat. I’m sorry to hear about the breakup, though. It seems like you don’t need my help, judging by how you’re going at things! 🙂 Once you start to see some progress, though, especially significant ones, don’t risk it, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

          Reply
  69. Brian
    Brian says:

    My wife and have been split up for a few weeks. We have 3 children and we’re together for about 7 years. She told me she wanted a divorce and I found out a few days later she was seeing someone. I’ve since moved out and the kids are still with her. I don’t know how to get her to stop seeing him and begin to win her back. I still have to have contact with her because of the kids. How do I go about getting her to turn around?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Getting an ex back is a process, so it helps to be patient. So what happened between you two? When did all the trouble started and what has caused it? This may help: How to Rebuild Your Marriage But it’s really challenging for me to know where to give you a headstart, knowing only so little of the situation… Sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon?

      Reply
  70. sadhana rao
    sadhana rao says:

    Hi brad
    My bf n me had dis 1.5 yr realtionship in which after evry alternate week i used to ask him bout commitment. We always used to breakup on dis issue. At first he said he needed mre tym. Den slowly n slowly he said hez nt thinkng f marriage rite nw. M 29 hez 30. Few days ago we broke up totally. But it nevr seems lyk a final breakup. Lyk always he msgd me again. N evn i wasnt able to resist. But aftr seeing ur no friend zone article i msgd him his limit. Help me brad . Wat shud i do..

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Try not to rush it? A year isn’t enough basis for you both to know if you’re truly compatible. I suggest to enjoy what you have and NOT push the idea of marriage, especially since he’s understandably not open to it yet. It’s not healthy especially if that’s what keep starting most fights. So back off first and tell him you understand him and that you’re not pushing the idea of marriage. Only do so if your relationship was particularly good if you haven’t wanted more commitment. Okay? Take care!

      Reply
  71. Kartik
    Kartik says:

    Hey.. i need a advice.. i had a breakup With my ex 1 year ago .. i want her back.. but just want friendship.. and now we are only freinds.. help me.

    Reply
  72. Kartik
    Kartik says:

    Hey.. it has been more than a year of our breakup.. and. She told me few months ago she want freindship.. that time I said yes.. thinking that it’s a good idea.. but now I think it was a bad idea .. we talk sometimes and she tells me about her new bf or ex-bf. And it’s hurting me bad.. i want a suggestion from you pls..??

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Being friends never works, if you want your ex back. I suggest to get out of the friendzone first by watching and following the tips here: Escaping Your Ex Girlfriend’s Friendzone. If you still need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

      Reply
  73. Breanne Gibson
    Breanne Gibson says:

    Hello. About 3 1/2 weeks ago my wife said she needs space and a break from me and our marriage. Everything in our life has been stressful lately. We moved into a house and immediately it went on the market. We tried to buy a house and it fell through. She said she doesn’t feel good about herself. She has been staying with friends of hers from work, but has been slowly taking her clothes and things from our house (we have to move anyway since the house just sold) it’s not a clean break because of everything that is in both our names. We have days with no communication and other days where we text about the bills. We did have an hour long text session (no talk about relationship). I’m lost as to what to do. We have been together a total of 6 1/2 years and married for 4. I want her back sooo bad.

    Reply
  74. Aleksandar
    Aleksandar says:

    My ex after 3,5 years lef me and got back to her husband who was treating her very bad,he evn wanted to hit her and my ex brother almost end up in prison protecting her,not to mention she slept in bedroom he on sofa for years,and they had ppl in their lives…She left him and was feed up of life like that and all he family supported her in her decision cuz they knew that he was even paying who…s and things like that..after 6 months she met me and she told me all the story after awhile i met her family,kids,sister,brother,mother father,they appreciated me so much and use to tell me than God she found you to live in peace now..We were so happy,she had smile on her face from one end to another,we enjoyed life every day in everything,even her kids accepted me and my kids also accepted her,she met my family too.She use to tell me after a year and something she cares about me but she doesent love me enough…i heard that..but things were still good….she wanted to leave me after 2 years but we did stay together..something happen that i can understand ..we been another year and half..till this January and she left me over the night after sleeping in the same bed..when i left for work..i did notice something is going on..she refused to have sex,she just hugged me during the night..i did speak to her last 2 weeks,it was off and on..she told me i dont love you enough..even i changed my life style,even job,to get more time together,to travel..Now she is back to her ex husband,all the familly from her side not talking to her at all…for now..they done respect her anymore..after what she was saying to every one in the family and friends about him she got back now to that person..cant respect that right..she says HE deserve another chance..they left each other in 23 years of marriage so many times they dont even know the numbers..life was fake all the time in their marriage..everyone was happy when she was with me her especially with smile all day long..her family said thanks God she found you..Alex…thats my name.still her family invite me for a coffee and to see how i am doing..they dont even want to see her..I want her back..yes..must be idiot myself..but i do..i have a feeling in my guts that i should get her back..get her back on the tracks..maybe she just feel that easy life that she had,money,going outs,spending money..less work…she just was afarid of new begging and starting things from zero..Pls advice

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Aleksander! It’s still important to put the “no contact” rule into priority because if you’ve been in touch after the breakup too soon, then you BOTH aren’t taking the time to process the breakup and been acting like it hadn’t happened. Burying the problems which had caused the breakup in the first place is the first step towards a doomed relationship. Make sense now? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis.

      Reply
  75. Savitha
    Savitha says:

    My boyfriend dumped me in last September saying let’s be just friends , I didn’t agree and told him I wil remain as lover . But he had stopped connecting me . Totally no contacts and blocked me in any social sites like WhatsApp n gchats. It’s been more than 6 months and my attempts to text and call him are in vain because he doesnt bother to reply and even if he did once or twice in December ,Jan , they were very rude and insulting.p lease help me how to proceed.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Savitha! Getting an ex back is a gradual process, so there’s no one-action solution for everything. Okay? It helps to let your ex know you’ve accepted the breakup instead of insisting you remain as his lover — which will only make you appear desperate. The “no contact” phase is a good start, so do that first if you haven’t yet. If you have. then I’m glad you’ve completed it. There are two more phases to go with a few other steps in between. What I’m trying to say here is it’s a 3-phase process, and it’s a bit complicated to explain it all on here, but I made an overview in the hopes of making people understand, so watch it here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) or read my guide for the entire process. Good luck!

      Reply
  76. Ratu
    Ratu says:

    Me and my ex just broke up a month ago. He dumped me because he wants to be single around this time. I didn’t contact him for a month, and he called me if he miss me and miss my voice, after that we agree to become friends. But I’m just confused, is he wants us to be together again or not. I still love him and I want to go back together with him.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. It sounds like he’s making up excuses to break up. It’s a bad idea to be friends. The boundaries won’t be clear and you’re technically both free to date other people. Wouldn’t it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you’re only “friends” now, don’t you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch this video so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”) but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  77. James Marchese
    James Marchese says:

    I ordered your ex factor and I never did received what I had paid for. I have been checking my e-mail for three days now, and nothing. Can you help me??

    Reply
  78. Ms. Jaye
    Ms. Jaye says:

    Me n my ex were best friends for 14 yrs….he broke up with me but still wants to maintain the friendship we built on which is what we recognize as our ‘foundational relationship’….we agreed b4 going into a romantic relationship not to allow anything within the romance destroy the friendship. I am following ur 30day no contact plan and he is reaching out more where I have fallen BC from reaching out at all. At the most i respond to him whenever I get a chance or mk the time to. He thinks im dating and he has expressed that he is seeing someone as well but says he unable to be sexually gratifying Cuz its not me. What’s the most effective move I could mk that will convince him for certain that i am who he needs? But not just sexually….

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! You ought to let him know what it’s like not to have you in his life first. The line’s been crossed so there has to be enough time to process what has happened and being friends isn’t such a good idea if you want this guy back. The boundaries won’t be clear and you’re technically both free to date other people. Wouldn’t it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you’re only “friends” now, don’t you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch this video so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”)
      but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  79. Pieter
    Pieter says:

    Hi Brad, I have agreed to stay friends with my ex for a number of reasons. First of all, me and my ex had known each other for 11 years before we got together. She has always been like my best female friend. Next to that, we are in the same class in school, so I thought it would be best if we would avoid any awkward contact and just remain friends. I still have feelings for her though and it is tough. Do you think this was the best decision in this case? What would you advice me to do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      I suggest to get out of the friendzone first. I understand that you’ve been friends for so long, but once the line is crossed to where you actually had a romantic relationship with her, then there’s hardly any going back. And no, staying friends in the hopes of her waking up one day and decide it’s time to give your relationship another try is a shot in the dark — which usually leads to the opposite. So if you want this girl back, get out of the friendzone first and let her miss you, all right? Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”)
      and Escaping Your Ex Girlfriend’s “Friendzone”
      but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  80. Rais
    Rais says:

    Brad, what do you do if you had the 30 day nc, now you contacted, he said he has a gf now, and did I still wanted him to come over to get his christmas presents?. I texted back and reversed the question “lol-Do you want to see me?” He came over after you told him via text that you knew that relationship was dead. He got his presents sat with me talked for about an hour. I took out the scrapbook (took out all kissing pic’s etc. left family and some of me) that I had made before he broke up with me out of his package just after he opened it and stated that it would not be appropriate to give to him now, he insisted to see – so I let him. I also stated that it would not be good to keep it because of his new (which he was seeing before he broke up with me) GF and then he wanted to keep it. He said something along the line of “she will just have to get over it”. Now when he left he gave me a few hugs. Should I not think too much into this?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      I think he could just be rebounding. At this point, I suggest to take this time off to try and see the issue/s that plagued your relationship which eventually lead to the breakup. And the roles you BOTH played in it as well. Was it an issue with communication? Men often leave relationships because they don’t feel respected and/or appreciated. Was this the case? I absolutely have no clue what went down in your relationship, so I’m afraid I can’t give any solid advice. If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  81. Rose
    Rose says:

    Hi Brad, What happen If you and the ex-boyfriend work fro the same company and have to see each other from time to time and work together and speak pertaining to work how can I handle that situation and avoid. I broke up with the individual about a month in a half. I asked about commitment being that we dated for almost a year and when the question was asked he stated that he was not ready and I deserve better so we ended. I’m still in love with this guy and trying to move forward but is hard when I still have to communicate due to work. I heard he started seeing someone else after two weeks after we ended and I was hurt. At work I feel like he gives mixed signal but also I cant hold my composure either and give in. I will like to be together again but not sure if I should. What should I do.

    Reply
  82. Zac
    Zac says:

    Hi Brad,

    My ex said exactly the same thing along the lines… “but we’re still friends right”? and smiley face 😂

    This is within few hours ago and I gave the ultimatum to break up just about a day ago. I’m supposed to go into stealth mode – NC for 30 days.

    My question is, should I reply to my ex like how you suggested ” I don’t think it’s a good idea… etc” OR should I just keep quiet and executed NC – 30 days?

    Please help shed some light! I need your opinion.

    Thank you

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Just let your action (or inaction) speak, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. Watch one of my latest posts here: How to Make Your Ex Obsess Over You (New for 2017!) In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, at http://www.breakupbrad.com Good luck!

      Reply
  83. Maria Ann Villani
    Maria Ann Villani says:

    Hi Brad, My boyfriend broke up with me 20 Dec. 2016. He told me that I know you love me but I don’t love you. I’m sorry. Mind you he said he loved me plenty of times. We got along great and never argued. He said that he loves me but in many different ways. And I really care about you and don’t want to lose you. Please be my friend. My best friend. I said you don’t need me as your best friend. You have enough. Well most of the time the ones you think are your best friends aren’t. So I agreed. Of course I did the begging and pleading to no avail. He called me everyday from the day he broke up with me. 3 times. 1 hour 2 minutes, 1 hour 26 minutes and 55 minutes. Then 2-8 times a day until 13 Jan. 2017. He called me 6 times that day. He was going up to Maine to work with his and he you have a good rest of your day I’ll talk to you next week. Well he never called. I don’t know if he took me out of phone or just not bothering. I did see him twice at a friends. 1st time for maybe 3 minutes and he didn’t want to be bothered. Then 2 days later saw him again for about an hour. He was so nice and actually initiated talking to me. Now he lives in another town and I don’t call him. Even when he broke up with me he said I can call him anytime we’re friends. So I’ve been doing the no contact calling him wise. But I just recently found out about your program being friends. I really enjoyed hearing his voice every time he called. But I was really suffering. I lost 20 lbs. in a month. He looks really good. This doesn’t seem to be bothering him a bit. And I just want the Love of my Life back. 💔 Oh and our friend just told me today is that he might have a job down the street as a dispatcher. Which means I’ll see him more often. One friend said he doesn’t deserve you and another said I can’t believe he left you. You were the best thing that ever happened to him. He just don’t want to be bothered with nothing. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I said yeah me either but I still Love him. He’s my Baby, still. Please help. Do I have a chance?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup. At this point, it’s probably a very bad idea to be keeping in touch. Give it time first while you really give more time to yourself to heal, okay? Get yourself together first so to speak. I suggest you stay busy with a lot of stuff like hobbies, work, etc. focus on what makes you feel good and take time to heal as well. If you do happen to see him, watch this to help guide you: How To Act Around Your Ex (6 Tips For Handling Post-Breakup Encounters). Also read my Ex Factor Guide, which covers commonly possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Take care!

      Reply
  84. Laura
    Laura says:

    Hi Brad. I still find myself missing the person that claimed to love me. He did suggest staying friends with me but I don’t want friendship with him and he also said “frienddhip is all I can offer”. At first when he suggested for us to stay friends I sonewhat agreed and then when I remembered how much that would hurt I cut off contact with him and have been avoiding him at work.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You did the right thing. It’s a bad idea to be friends anyway. The boundaries won’t be clear and you’re technically both free to date other people. Wouldn’t it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you’re only “friends” now, don’t you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap: Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”) but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  85. Jayesh Narayan Nanda
    Jayesh Narayan Nanda says:

    Hi brad i was in relationship with my gf from last 10 years but we use to fight due to not giving time n some family issue of her side no w suddenly due to my frustation i fight with her n she decided not to continue now we cant happy more in future this that n she is not in contact with me now i dint contact her 7 days after that i just txt normal msg she rly also normaly i dnt know now how to be back in with her same love before we were infact she was much excited for marriage plz suggest me ..

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Jayesh! Getting an ex back is a gradual process, so there’s no one-action solution for everything. Okay? The “no contact” phase is a good start, so do that first if you haven’t yet. If you have. then I’m glad you’ve completed it. There are two more phases to go with a few other steps in between. What I’m trying to say here is it’s a 3-phase process, and it’s a bit complicated to explain it all on here, but I made an overview in the hopes of making people understand, so watch it here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) or read my guide for the entire process. Good luck!

      Reply
  86. Aarya
    Aarya says:

    Hi Brad me n my bf broke up this month n it’s been pretty tough for me he refusing to talk to me n everything I really love him n want him back I tried no contact but his girl best friend interfered n he ended up blocking me in every way possible I don’t know what to do it’s been so frustrating … Somehow I managed to txt him he said it’s over n hence I blocked u … Plz plz plz help me

    Reply
  87. Grace
    Grace says:

    Hi Brad, I and my bf broke up two months ago I left him because of his behaviours and I didnt any communication with him like you said ” no communication period ” I used it without knowing. My sister advised me and I just did it. Anyway, I deleted his number and everything but I still love him and I learned he started to date with a girl just after 5 days when we broke up I didnt date anyone else I suffered alot one week ago he messaged me and he wanted to see me we didnt meet but yesterday again he messaged me and suggested to go to a gym that he went. I was mentioning about gym to him while dating . What should I do ? I love him and still want him but I afraid if I lose him . Should I go to the gym ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey there, Grace! Sorry to hear that. Quite frankly, if you left him because of his behaviour, then you ought to realize first that it’s not likely going to change. So think really carefully before taking steps to get him back. As you’d likely breakup with him for the exact same reasons. Would you really want that type of relationship? Watch this first: Is Your Ex the Right Person For You? Take your time in deciding. Good luck!

      Reply
  88. chris
    chris says:

    hi brad. me and my ex wife have been friends for 3 months after she broke up with me. We have 2 kids also. the problem is she was told by her sister about the no contact rule and she texted me about it. Is my cover blown?. Will this still work?. Im forced to answer if she talks about our kids. she knows that im trying to ignore her. any tips on what should i do nex?

    Reply
  89. Mark
    Mark says:

    Hey Brad,

    My ex and I broke up almost three months ago. We had dated for nearly two years and we’re both 22. I did all the mistakes begging and pleading but she cut me off completely. She loved me so much in the relationship and I took her for granted and she found out I wasn’t texting another girl last year which I regretted and hadn’t done since. I broke up with her here months a go because she kept bringing the other girl up and I wanted to bury that in the past.

    I called her after 2 week of NC today and just caught up with what was going on with her life. Any insights on how I can get her back. She really was in love with me and would write love letters to me trrpihhout the relationship but I was distant and took her for granted.

    Much appreciated

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Mark! Sorry to hear that. “I broke up with her here months a go because she kept bringing the other girl up and I wanted to bury that in the past.” — so in other words, you’ve let emotions/anger get the best of you? That’s never ideal. That would’ve made her feel misunderstood since you’ve been texting another girl while still in a relationship with her, so she’d naturally get jealous, man. When girls get jealous, they don’t tend to let go of stuff easily, especially one where there’s proof that you’ve been texting. You ought to be more patient. Anyway since you broke up with her, read this free article about the topic: What to Do If You Broke Up With Your Ex… and Totally Regret it. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play, then guide you accordingly on a regular ongoing basis.Good luck!

      Reply
  90. jeanne
    jeanne says:

    Hi Brad, my man and I were together 5 years. We broke up a few times but love each other so much we kept getting back together. I wanted to just live together and didn’t want to marry, my kids needed help, etc, so we had conflicts, but never doubted our love. This last breakup was hard on both of us and we really suffered, but now he is with someone else and practically living with her. I can’t move on that easily. I know he loves me….still tells friends I was ‘the one’ .can this be undone?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Jeanne! Read this free article first to know what to expect: Things You Must Learn If You’re in an On-and-Off Relationship. You mentioned that you didn’t want to marry, but is your ex looking to do that, one day? If so, then there might be a huge disconnect there and would need to settle your differences, if you do get back together again. For now I suggest to leave him be since he’s likely rebounding. All right? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  91. Peter Le
    Peter Le says:

    Hey brad, I honestly need some insight on where i stand. At this point, i have no idea. so my gf of 2.5 years broke up with my last sept about 9 days after my bday (aug 30th) where she thought i cheated on her and 3 months after she got a job as a flight attendant. I made fatal mistakes by begging and pleading pretty much and continued to talk to her. We hung out once in late sept and another in round oct 14. I gave her 3 letters in nov, 2 early nov and 1 nov 29 with an early bday present. 2-3 days later we got into a huge arguement because i sent her angry drunk msgs and for stalking and what not. She blocked me on social media and now deleted my number. I grabbed your program a day or 2 after and pretty much didnt contact her untill things cooled down then i sent her a bday msg ” Hey, Happy birthday! I know this is random but I want to sincerely apologies for my behaviour towards you the past multiple weeks especially if I raised any concerns for your safety. I hope we could be friends though, down the road. Anyways, have a wonderful birthday wherever you are! Lucky for you, you will always be younger than me! Anyways, I hope all is well, crystal! 😊
    Ps. Hope you liked the tea I got you!”
    She replied with a “thanks”… havent reached out since. Im gonna leave her be for about 2 months before i say anything to her.
    I just want to know if its even possible at this point… Thank you.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Peter! Depending on the damage done, it may or may not be too late…but don’t make the same mistakes! Most people are guilty of this at some point. So if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  92. Adrian
    Adrian says:

    Hey Brad. My gf broke up with me 8 months ago because she said she needs to love herself first before letting another person love her and that she was freaking out on dating again. I begged and pleaded and obviously it didn’t work. We agreed on being friends but I only agreed cause I was waiting for her to be ready and she didn’t wanted me to because she said she needed to love herself first. I tried to work it out and set her as my priority but she always gave me the hot n cold treatment till the conversation died after 7 months. After waiting a few weeks, I found out that she was dating someone new. I asked her about it and wished that their relationship would work out. I didn’t contacted her after that day and posted nothing on social media. Is there anything I can do to win her back?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      It’s a bad idea to be friends. The boundaries won’t be clear and you’re technically both free to date other people. Wouldn’t it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you’re only “friends” now, don’t you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively (follow the principles), at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”) and Escaping Your Ex Girlfriend’s “Friendzone” but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  93. Gill
    Gill says:

    Hi Brad, It’s 7 months now since my ex broke up with me and I am desperate to get him back.
    I went through the no contact rule and tried to cut him out of my life completely, but nothing worked.
    While I make all the contact he always replies and wants to meet up etc.
    Last week after a few drinks we ended up sleeping together and now back to the silent treatment. He is stubborn and won’t contact me.
    I feel like his guard is up and he is frightened of something as when we are together it feels so right.
    We were together for just over a year and never argued. No one cheated.
    Is it time to move on, buy your program or benefit from your personal coaching.

    Reply
  94. Corey
    Corey says:

    Hey, Brad. My gf of 6 months broke off the relationship, because, she doesn’t love herself, and isn’t ready for a relationship. She wants to focus on herself, career, and her child. Us three were really close. She still wants to be in eachothers lives on some level, though I never said I wanted to be just friends. She blocked me on fb. I initated the no contact and plan to see that through. After that, what should I do? And what if she contacts me during NC?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Corey! All your questions should be addressed if you take the time to read the Ex Factor Guide. But for starters, your ex blocking you is most likely just your ex’s way of coping. More about that on here: What to Do If Your Ex Blocks You on Facebook? Anyway social media should be the least of your concerns. Focus on all three phases and your ex may naturally unblock you, in time, as you learn to rebuild that attraction and re-attract this ex back to your life. Now if your ex continues to message you, then it’s important to put your ex’s messages into context, especially if this happened during the “no contact” phase. Is your ex trying to contact you about something really important, like an emergency, unpaid bills, or something equally urgent? If not, and your ex is really just texting some useless random stuff and/or asses his/her power over you, then you can just ignore and continue on with the 30-day “no contact” rule. Use your discretion. Watch and follow the tips here: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts and Phone Calls (And Win Them Back)

      However,iIf you need my help further on this despite all these tips, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

      Reply
  95. zack
    zack says:

    Hi Brad,
    Me & my Gf were in 3 yrs of relationship we were very close (2yrs ldr) she broke up with me 3 weeks ago saying spark in our relationship has ended, I was trying to follow your no contact rule but could not resist and broke up the rule calling her and asking her reasons why she broke and and asked her to come back. She said no to me, was kind of ignoring me and said we should not contact each other and it should be our last talk, It was feeling like she is looking someone else.. she deleted all over pics blocked me and now has even deleted my number. Please help me out as I have messed up the situation, suggest me what to do now….

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Zack! Sorry to hear about the breakup. She may have ended up blocking you because you wouldn’t stop bothering her. Take that as your cue to back off and show her that you respect her choice by cutting off communication for 30 days or more, all right? Watch this, too: How to NOT Win Your Ex Back. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  96. Danno
    Danno says:

    Hi brad my wife and I have a baby together we have separated she’s seeing someone else but wants to remain friends although she hasn’t said it directly. Should I uses this as a way to remove negative feelings towards me and reinforce positive ones

    Reply
  97. Aviv
    Aviv says:

    Hi brad,
    I left pushed my girlfriend away after i was involved in a cheating situation, i love her, that was June 2016 she kept fighting for me until august then she started dating a friend of hers and by November 2016 i went back for her, she says she will never love another like she did me but she has decided to bury our love, she is a devoted christian and she says she can’t leave him because she made a promise and the guy likes him so much she feels safe with him. i have apologies and through all this time we have been close and friends, we work together, we own a business together and even travel together for business. she says she would like us to be friends.

    Do i have a chance with her? some people say if i stay away from her she will be closer to him and think i didn’t mean to be with her.

    am confused .

    Reply
  98. Johnny Alger
    Johnny Alger says:

    Hi Brad. Me and my wife separated the weekend before thanks giving. I didnt want it but after our argument she said she was done. Well only 1 week later she starts talking with someone else and ignoring me all together! Ive pleaded and tried reminding her of all our good times so she wouldn’t focuse on the past! My heart is torn and i dont want to lose her! I want to fix my marriage but she wont respond to anything. What do i do. Im lost

    Reply
  99. Anto
    Anto says:

    Hi brad,
    My gf brokeup with me n its been one month now, she was crazy on me from first sight and we were deeply in relationship for 1 n half month hanging out,daily chats, suddenly one fine morning she said she’s not interested in any relationship with me, am still not able to come out of the shock.we work in same office n meet each other often but both us ignore each other.since break up, i started no contact then next week she called n and expressed she missed me n wanted to be friends i was so happy then following weekday i asked her for meeting in office, she came n again acted rude n said no more relationship,one in a week i msg her ,then she’s replying very formal.if i dont come to office r change my whats up status she is interested to know what am upto whom i dating with.but the big mistake i made was yesterday.i msged asking to come for shopping hoping she will come but she hurted me saying,i dint change,hold self-respect, shameless etc ,not interested any stuffs whatsoever and never try to fake . Am totally shattered. could you pls help me brad.what should i do now.

    Reply
  100. Akhri
    Akhri says:

    Hie brad!
    My bf broke up with me around 2-3 months ago and since then we were friends. He asked me to b friends and i agreed. Bt later he was very rude towards me and didnt even wanted to meet at all. So i decided to follow no contact rule. Bt he texts me almost every alternate day. If i dont reply to him it will come to his ego. So what should i do? I dont wanna worsen the situation further.
    Please help me brad i want to b with him once again!
    Thank you..

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Cut off contact COMPLETELY first, for at least 30 days. You see, the thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch. Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You. Good luck!

      Reply
  101. Pranay Agrawal
    Pranay Agrawal says:

    Hey brad….i m pranay..n my gf broke up wid me a week ago..saying she need some time alone…we were in a 3 year relationship…although she says we r good friends…n she hangouts wid me at weekends still ….i dont knw what to do..coz it kills me jst being her friend…bt i also flirt with her like her bf n she give it full acceptance giving me a sign tht she still loves me n want me…bt she denies whn i ask to come bck in relation …what should i do ?? Plzzz help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Pranay, sorry to hear about the breakup. It’s a bad idea to be friends. The boundaries won’t be clear and you’re technically both free to date other people. Wouldn’t it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you’re only “friends” now, don’t you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively (follow the principles), at “Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”)” and “Escaping Your Ex Girlfriend’s “Friendzone” but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  102. Jul
    Jul says:

    Hi Brad, thank you for your work. I am a widow. My case is a little twisted. I met my ex 12yrs ago (2004), I met my dead husband 3 weeks before I meeting my ex. I liked him more than my dead spouse so we started long distance relationship. While my dead spouse kept asking me out and trying to be there for me more knowing that my relationship with my ex is long distance while I live in the same city with my dead spouse. This affected our long distance relationship, so I left him and marry my dead spouse(2008), but just after my wedding I got an anonymous facebook friend request which I accepted thinking is an old friend not knowing it was him. We remained facebook friends without commenting on each other’s page or sending messages. After 4years(2012), I was widowed and then I received a facebook message from this facebook friend sympathizing with me for my loss, we chatted a little and I found out it was him with a fictitious name. We kept in contact,speaking once in a while. After 2year (2014), we started talking more intimately and he visited me from the U.K. to Italy for 3 days, during the visit he made sexual moves but I refused because I want to be celibate. But he doesn’t believe it, instead he said it’s because of my dead spouse that I am still into him, pointing out how I wear my dead spouse t.shirt and wristwatch. He kind of became distance after that. And gives me attitude, we never fought while we are dating but we fight at every chance now. We haven’t spoken for four months now and I miss him.I deeply regret the reason for our break up. Can we possibly get back together?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      I think he’s more upset of the fact that you’ve denied him sex, than anything else. Celibacy isn’t a bad thing. I have nothing against it whatsoever… but it does matter a lot if your partner of choice doesn’t share the same view as you when it comes to sex. Have you tried telling him your reasons to be celibate? After all, sex is an integral part of a relationship as it helps to bring you two closer together and unless you both want to be celibate, there is a huge incompatibility there. You’re right though, this is quite q unique situation, so consider signing up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  103. Olivia
    Olivia says:

    Hi Brad!
    Here’s a part of my story. My bf broke up with me 1,5 months ago, after 3 weeks of having a break of of our relationship, and it was all quite shocking for me. We’re not from the same place and I study in his town, so we’ve seen each other only twice during the summer holidays. Since he had 2 gfs before me, he told me all of a sudden he needs space and doesn’t want to be in a relationship and that it’s all so hard for him (I’ve never seen him cry so much). However, during our break and still today, he’s seeing this one girl and chatting with her, although he told me he doesn’t like her physically and that she’s not his type, but he thinks she’s a cool person to be around with. After we broke up, I never initiated the conversation, he did though, and sent me some messages few times a week, and after some time I started ignoring his messages.
    We’re in the same class so we can’t completely avoid each other and we occasionally talk, and it’s very difficult for me. I still kinda want him back, but the other day I told him that I don’t really trust him anymore and can’t be friends for some time and asked him not to text me for a while, because I need to heal and think some more. He is also going on a weekend trip with some common friends of him and that girl (they’re both going as well), and that makes me jealous and unhappy. Since the break up he told me many times that he’s still unsure whether he made the right decision and that he’ll maybe regret it one day. He said he sometimes thinks how things would be if we were still together, he reads our old messages, etc. One day I hate him, other days I want him back so much because everything was fine from my side …
    Please give me some advice, Brad! Thank you!

    Reply
  104. Anon
    Anon says:

    Hello Brad,
    I have a lot of questions to ask you but I know you can answer my questions if I told you my story first.
    I was dating another person in a different country and we both met online. I fallen in love for this person and I was insecured. Troubled, I intitated the breakup. We only dated for a couple month. I admitted to acted a bit desperately afterwards then asked, “What are we now”? My ex responded with, “Friends”. I didn’t push it any further and I honestly felt like I don’t want to be a friend. After that, I applied a 45 days No Contact Rule. I was focusing on myself and hang out with my friends. I feel ready and I decided not to live in the past. While we were dating, I felt insecure because my other was flirting with other people and people around me don’t give good advice. Mostly like “…you shouldn’t date that person” and “…Lol. Wow. It won’t work out”. Honestly, I shouldn’t focus what others thought of me and my relationship back then. I accepted my part and let go of the feelings occuring that time of the breakup. I thought of saying, “Now, I just thought about it. I don’t want to be your friend. But I hope all is well.” Something along the line. I know what to do and there’s something prevents me do the action. Texting my ex back. My mind always overthink and it took a lot of my energy, sometimes it will lead to the negative “what ifs”. I wanted a bit of guidance. A guidance on how to stop thinking the “what ifs” and how to make something irrestible in a form of text so they will respond back to. I had read all of the emails you had sent me and I got the idea but it is only half bake. Mainly, I watched the videos and read your articles (had a problem with the orderings in the past). Please help me with your best abilities.

    I wanted to remain as Anon if that is okay with you. If not, you may call me April.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi April! Sorry to hear about the breakup. You’re right, being friends isn’t a good idea. What you ought to realize is that you’re stuck in an endless loop. This can be easily resolved if you cut off contact, which will minimize if not totally omit your overthinking behaviour. 🙂 If you focus on yourself mainly, you’ll naturally feel better. The only one who’s in control of your emotions if you, so take charge! You can do it… it only seems like you can’t at first. Cutting off contact basically helps you regain your power. So again, employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. Watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, at http://www.breakupbrad.com Take care!

      Reply
  105. Lammy
    Lammy says:

    Hello Brad..

    I’ve been watching your videos for some days now after things went downhill with my boyfriend. We work in the same organisation and have been dating for over a year before I realized he was seeing another girl at our workplace. I confronted him with the knowledge I had and that’s how things got bad. He denied, said she was just a friend and went further to accuse me of spreading the story about them both at work. I tried to tell him I didn’t spread any story, he’s adamant and refuses to listen and has been really cold and distant. I started the no contact rule, finished in 21 days so I texted him on my dad’s birthday. He responded well, said happy birthday to my dad. I went silent for about 5 more days when he texted me out of the blues to give me an ultimatum; we could only get back together if I told him the names of those gossiping about him and the girl he was cheating with. We’re supposed to meet in person next week and I really don”t know what to do. What do I tell him when I see him? Please help!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Lammy, sorry to hear you’re going through this. Being cheated on is not an easy feeling to deal with. He’s likely projecting his guilt towards you, hence he’s switching the story around — or not. Also try to be as objective as possible in this case. I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ask more sensitive questions regarding the situation though, in order for me to give a more solid advice. This determines how you’re supposed to handle things but in general, it’s best to play it safe and NOT deal with each other first, for at least a few weeks. Anyway how have you found out about his cheating and did you have solid evidence of it? Consider signing up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Okay? Hopefully talk to you soon!

      Reply
  106. Danielle
    Danielle says:

    Hi Brad!
    My ex and I broke up exactly 13 days ago after we had gotten into a little political tiff(I said some pretty harsh stuff but nothing mean towards him). The split was mutual at first and then I realized it’s not what I wanted. We talked once or twice right after the break up and then a little over a week after we saw each other because I had quite a bit of his personal belongings. I met him at a mutual friends house and he invited me in, I started getting my hopes up because he didn’t just ask for his stuff. We all hung out for about 3 hours. As we were leaving we stood outside and started to talk about the breakup, he said he doesn’t think we belong together and we have different views and ideas. He told me he’s been unhappy for a little while and started to have doubts about our future together. I asked him if he was still in love with me and he said “no”. He said he couldn’t picture us getting married anymore. He apologized multiple times and said I was special and I was the best girlfriend he’s ever had. We hugged a few times and he said he does want to be friends and then we went our separate ways. I haven’t spoken to him since that night 4 days ago. I don’t know whether I believe everything he said but why would he tell me he’s not in love with me if he still is? He never showed any signs of discontent and we were getting ready for a trip to Disneyland right before the breakup. I’m a mess and at a complete loss here.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey, Danielle! Sorry to hear about the breakup. A breakup is rarely ever mutual. What was so bad that you BOTH had to end it? I understand things may be awfully confusing for you right now, and this is exactly why you ought to take a step back and reach some level of clarity, all right? Don’t rush this and be sure to take some time off first, so cut off contact for a month or more. It’s not a good idea to be friends with him anyway, as it’ll only add up to more confusion — which you don’t need right now. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  107. Joe
    Joe says:

    Brad just want to thank you for all of this and tell you I respect what you do and you are apriecated…. So I was living with my ex for about 5 years, the first year she moved from her hometown to be with me in mine, at the time she was only 22 and her family did not approve but she still moved in with me and left her hometown.. 1 year later we moved to her hometown and I left my whole family and friends to make her happy and so she can finish school there.. We lived there for the last 4 years and we have been very happy and great but her mom never forgave me till this day for taking her daughter away that first year even thou I brought her back….which means I wasn’t invited for holidays and I was treated horrible by her.. I’m sure me not being a doctor or something great career wise was also an issue but still didn’t make it right..I supported us and gave her et she wanted for the past 5 years ..She did et she could to ruin us and it worked. About 4 months ago I proposed to my ex and she said yes and we were planing a wedding for 2 months, looking at wedding venues making wedding lists figuring out et….but at the same time her family never congratulated her and made her very upset so she didn’t speak to them for those 2 months. Btw I did the right thing and asked her dad for his blessing and he said yes because he new how much we loved each other. Anyways after those 2 months of her not speaking to her family she started getting very depressed and one day broke down and basically told me she can’t do it anymore.. She tried to talk to her mom but there’s no talking to her it’s her way or the highway… So she basically chose her family over me and broke up with me.. I loved her more than anyone in the world and she knew that but still did the unthinkable.. So I moved back to my hometown and didn’t talk to her for about a month, after a month of no contact she called me crying one night saying how much she misses me and loves me and how sorry she was and how I didn’t deserve this.. But still saying her mom will never change and it will never b a peaceful life if we were together.. After that call we talked for about 3 weeks on and off then one day I received a message saying she was gunna take one for the team and we can’t talk anymore cause it’s only making it harder for me to move on. So I said ok didn’t contact her for 2 weeks…then she reaches out again just asking how I am doing an hope I’m doing well so ofcourse I respond and we start talking again for a week.. It’s nice talking with her but it’s not about fixing us its just basically us being friends which I won’t have.. So the last time we talked I told her I don’t have any interest in being your friend I don’t mind u reaching out to me if u think we have a future together but if not please don’t contact me.. It’s been almost a week and we haven’t been speaking which hurts but it’s what needs to be done. As u said she needs to start missing me and me being friends with her is not going to help me get her back.. The worst part about the whole thing is if her family just said congrats and there coming to the wedding I know we would still be together… I been talking to other girls here n there but I honestly feel I will never love anyone as much as I love her. I don’t know what to do anymore please help me.. It’s been a little over 2 months now that we are broken up and I hate my life without her she was my world! My everything!!! She knows that what we had was as real as it is ever going to get and she also knows know will ever love her and sacrifice the things I have to give et she wants.. I’m not saying this cause I think this how she feels. She wrote this in a diary that I got my hands on.. Thanks brad looking forward to your response.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi, Joe! I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  108. Nana
    Nana says:

    Hello Brad…
    My Ex doesn’t text me or even flashed me for the past one month now we broke up….. it was her idea to brake up with me.. and i really want her back. I deployed your No Contact Strategy after one month of our breakup…. just one week in the No contact Period I sent her a big interest message which reads:”Hey, Just heard that( a gospel musician) is coming to town… Just remembered how much you love her programs…. Hope everything is going well”?…..I got this reply from her in an hours time” Hi… Oh ok.. is good to hear.. but you know I can’t make it because of my busy schedule… I hope you will be able to?….Am doing well.. how about you?…I gave her this reply after 2hours to her after two hours of receiving her reply…. This was my reply….” I know right.. May be I will. Am doing great. Thank you”…Before deploying the No contact Strategy, I met up with her and she told me we should be friends. I didn’t say Yes or No to her request.Brad what does her actions means? and what is she up to in her mind? will be able to get her back? This breakup is driving me crazy..

    Help me brad…..

    Best Regards.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Nana! Since you’ve broke the “no contact” rule one week in, be sure to reset it to where you’re actually cutting off contact for at least a month, okay? So really, for starters, your best bet is still to cut off contact and yes, it will work in a sense to where you get to clear your mind to be in a better position to deal with an ex when the time comes — instead of letting emotions overrule everything, risking things to get blown out of proportion even further. Make sense? But will no contact ALONE work to get your ex back? In some cases it may, but oftentimes not, because the no contact phase is only part one of the three-step process I teach in my Ex Factor Guide. Learn the basics here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) I also made a quick vid to those who are seemingly lost and could use a reminder on what to do: Want Your Ex Back? Stop Thinking About Them! (Psychological Warfare). Good luck!

      Reply
  109. Danielle cummins
    Danielle cummins says:

    Hey brad,
    My ex and i broke up a year ago we have a child together and he left me fo another woman. But he told me the reason he cant get back with me is because he now has a criminal record because of me where we argue so much the cops was called. We was in a relationship for four years and when he left me and got with this other girl i filped and they broke up and since then me and him was messing around , but me not knowing it he was dating someone else and cheated on her with me and made me the other woman. He had cheated on me before. I know i guess im stupid vut i do love him and i do know somewhere deep down he loves me still. He said he cant be with me now but you never know what the future holds and we can be friends. I told him no it will hurt me too much and tried to do the no contact as much as i can with us having a child together. I since stop all sexual contact and been ignore him as much as i can. How can i get him back since he says he dont trust me cause i cause him to go to jail and he says he fell out of love with me

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Danielle. Sorry to hear that. If these “fights” were really as bad it seemed to be, then that’s where you ought to start looking. What are the roles that you BOTH played in it? Do one or both of you have anger issues? It might help to take some classes? You’re right to reject his offer for friendship. As for sex, if he continues to be persistent, watch and follow the tips here first: What to Do If Your Ex Wants Sex. Good luck!

      Reply
  110. Prince
    Prince says:

    Hey Brad, about 7 months ago my girlfriend broke up with me.But she told me to be just friends.And i had done all the major mistakes which u highly recommended not to do.She is now very happy. She told me that i was a mistake which she cannot repeat and she do not believe in second chances.She also told that my caste is different and her parents wont allow this relationship.Now she doesn’t even care about me.She is a very good girl and because of my overpossessiveness i lost her.
    I am really in a devastated condition.
    Please help me what should i do.
    How to make her fall in love again with me.
    Awaiting for your response.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! Sorry to hear about the breakup. Now I’m not sure why parents had to get involved. It’s either you’re both too young to date or it has something to do with culture. Either way, it’s best to consider moving on from this, okay? Understand that the choice is ultimately up to your ex on whether to fight for you or not despite the opposition going on. Good luck!

      Reply
  111. Tely
    Tely says:

    Hi I broke up with my ex week ago, and I can’t contact him ,bcx he blocked my number, I try to call him and text him with different number, but no answer,no reply back I guess he knew it was me texting him, what can I do to get in touch with him, what can I do to get him back, I miss him so bad, and want talk to him, please help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Telly. Sorry to hear about the breakup. Stop contacting him for around a month. These are the principles to get an ex back, familiarize yourself with all three basic phases to get an ex back: Step-by-Step Guide to Reversing a Breakup and Get an Ex Back and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential! Good luck!

      Reply
  112. Jillian
    Jillian says:

    Hello Brad!
    My boyfriend of 11 months and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. He is 23 and i am 22 years old.
    Everything was going really smoothly and it was great but he suddenly disappeared on me without giving me an explanation. i tried talking to him but he refused to give me a straight answer. It was as if he completely changed with me. I asked his friends about his behavior and they said he is normal and chilled out. I gave him space but frustrated, I texted him to at least clear everything out. That is when he gave me the break up speech saying that he is really sorry and his parents don’t approve of me and he discussed this matter with a friend and has decided to end this relationship because their decision is his priority. He also stated that he wants to be friends with me. At that time i was really confused as to what just happened and i was like okay i understand and i didn’t retaliate much and i agreed to the break up and friendship. We havent contacted each other since the break up. Both of us havent even blocked out the other on social media and I see him posting away on Facebook and Snapchat as to how much he is enjoying his life, etc and i am sitting here feeling torn and heart broken thinking if our time together meant anything to him at all. Last week I saw him in the coffee shop with his guy friends joking around and laughing. We both knew the other is present and yet both of us ignored the other.
    I dont know what all of this means. I know I love him still and everything was real for me but I cant help but wonder if I should want him back or not because there are times when i am okay and normal but other times i feel angry and hurt and think of getting him back. 2 weeks later his best friend is getting engaged and his fiance’ invited me and i dont know if I should go or not. Currently the no contact phase is going on since the break up. Please give your opinion my situation and please advise me on what I should do.
    Thanks you

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Jillian! Sorry to hear about the breakup. You aren’t likely gonna get the clarity you want in this situation, as it comes from within, so take time to look at your situation objectively and with a clear head, all right? One good way to do this is to employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, so make it a point NOT to skip this part. It should also help you decide on which path to take afterwards and avoid making hasty decisions. Watch this, too: The Number One Root Cause of All Breakups. Good luck!

      Reply
  113. Sonam
    Sonam says:

    Hi Brad,
    Last week my boyfriend of 8 months (5 months London distance ) wanted to end things. He said it is exhausting and unable to be emotionally available to me. However, says he still loves me and miss me. That time I was not in the right mind, due to work stress and his bringing that up was unexpected as we did not have any fights before. So I told him I needed some time and space to think about it and I would like him to think it over too. We have not contacted since then, until Sunday I was passing through a place and it reminded me of him…so I left a text about it but I did not say I love him or miss him as such. HE called me back we talked for few mins and I ended the call saying we ll talk further about our relationship only on the agreed date.
    HOW do I ask him to stay?
    I was wondering if it is a good idea if I told him I wanted a second chance for our relationship and that he could have the time and space to figure things out and yet be in this relation.
    He is a good boyfriend, always positive and encouraging, I don’t want to lose him without trying. Please help!

    Reply
  114. Anita lamichhane
    Anita lamichhane says:

    Hi brad,
    My boyfriend broke up with me. It’s about 5 month. I loved him alot and i does too. Due to the family and society issues he broke up with me. It’s has become 2years of our relationship.he said I don’t want to be in relation becoz or won’t get sucess we can’t get married later so it is better to leave it now. I tried every moment to talk now he didn’t listen to me . Even he didn’t talk to me. He talks rudely.Now what should I do to get him back? Is it possible to get him back forever.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Anita. Sorry to hear about the breakup. Can’t get married? How so? If the reason has something to do with culture,, it may be best to consider moving on from this, okay? Understand that the choice is ultimately up to your ex on whether to fight for you or not despite the opposition going on. Good luck!

      Reply
  115. Jakob
    Jakob says:

    Hey brad it’s been going on 3 weeks off my break up and no contact. She said she fell out of love and wanted everything to with me but not a label of a relationship pretty much. I was her first love and realized my wrong doing in the relationship after thinking about if we’re right for eachother. I realized how good things could’ve been and that it actually can work. When we broke up I confessed and apologized for my actions and said I don’t wanna be friends I still love you if you need anything call me and I left. I want to try to get her back soon. I’ve watched a good percent of your videos and been bettering myself durning this time, which I thank you for. If you could please give me some advice on how to get her attention to text me again or what I should say to her to start rekindling thing, please help, thanks again

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Jakob, sorry to hear about the breakup. She may not be ready for a serious relationship yet, so consider letting this one go, or at the very least, don’t bother her for a good while. Whatever the case may be, act responsibly yet try not to take things too seriously now since you may be in a period of growth and lots of changes, including preferences in attitude, personality, etc. Focus on your studies instead, all right? Take care!

      Reply
  116. Betsy
    Betsy says:

    Hi Brad,

    My boyfriend broke up with me after 7months…we were really in love and I really messed it up. When I was on my period I was super emotional, mean and threatened break ups a few times. He had enough. I am working on myself hardcore and know I have to change this pattern. We are a werk into no contact. Is there anything in your guide if you really messed up bad? Also, is it ok for him to see me on the same dating site?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Betsy, yes, it’s okay for him to see you on dating sites. For best results, however, it’s best to really focus all the work on yourself because the more happy you become, the more natural it’ll show. The goal is to show him you’re “thriving” with the breakup, so don’t beg, okay? And yes, if there was already some begging/pleading done in the beginning, you can still salvage it as long as you really play your cards right. Watch this, for starters: Begged & Pleaded With Your Ex Already? (How to Salvage Your Situation!). In the meantime, read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good luck!

      Reply
  117. pallab
    pallab says:

    Hey Brad it’s been 2 months she break up with me after that I begged and pleaded Nd after one month of break up I started the no contact method Nd one night she texted me and I hve done the same mistake that I flow out of emotions then after that I have again started the no contact now she has txted me again but I hve ignored the txt Nd I wished her birthday tonight . I think that now she is completely feeling less Nd she will never come back .

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Try to stick to the “no contact” rule this time. A situation with an ex is fragile, so you’d really want to omit, if not minimize these mistakes, okay? There are no unlimited chances with an ex, so if you can do it right moving forward, then do so. Check out my guide so you won’t end up making the same mistakes. But if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible.Good luck!

      Reply
  118. Justin
    Justin says:

    Have been dating my girl for the past two years then she had to travel to another country for work just for one year. Everything was beautiful before she left. After that things began to get ugly slowly. We argue a lot. Guess I became too needy. Suddenly she feels like it’s not working out and she’s not sure she wants to continue. She said “am confuse and am not sure if I want to be with you or leave you”. She suggests for a two months break and after which she will tell me if she wants to continue or not. And in the break she wants us to still communicate but as friends. What does this mean and what can I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Don’t be friends with her. The thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You Good luck!

      Reply
  119. Jimmy
    Jimmy says:

    Hi Brad,
    I have seen all of your videos and bought your book. She broke up with me because I didn’t listen enough to her and give her the ability to tell her stories. I told her it was the first I heard about it and wanted to fix the issues, but she still broke it off (though I know she’s not sure if this was the right decision, as she has other life issues she’s dealing with like job, money and injury, etc…). I caved after 4 days of no contact and did post rad things to my social media. We are big runners (our passion in life) so I texted her saying “my partner bailed and need a new running partner for this awesome trail, interested?” She wrote right back and told me she was interested but was injured (truth, but didn’t know how bad). She would go but just can’t. Thanks for the invite and hopefully I find another partner for the run. Well I didn’t respond and 30 min later she texted me back and said something I just don’t know how to interpret. She said “I guess I kinda expected some acknowledgment that I responded” I told her my phone was on silent and I missed her text and asked if it was still her knee issues. She then told me what was wrong and that was about it. What are your thoughts? Thanks!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Great! I’m glad you now have the tools to guide you on what to do. Now I know it’s difficult (and it’s a different challenge all on its own) but try to follow the guide down to a tee, all right? Read it many times over until you master it. As to your situation, really try do complete the 30-day rule first, man. A situation with an ex is fragile, so you’d really want to omit, if not minimize these mistakes, okay? There are no unlimited chances with an ex, so if you can do it right moving forward, then do so. Check out my guide so you won’t end up making the same mistakes. Take care!

      Reply
  120. Juan
    Juan says:

    Hey brad i broke up with my girlfriend a month ago, i tried to use the no contact method for alike 4 days but i couldnt make it i end up talking to her, she told me when want to be alone that she doesnt want anybody in her life for now. We broke up because i was jealous and i didnt give her space. We dated for 11 month and i fall deep inlove with this girl, we talked like friends even though thats not what i want. But everytime i talk to her about our past relationship she always gets angry and end up not talking to me. I have 2 weeks since i dont talk about our past relationship but i dont think thats going to change anything between us. Shes sure about her decision and thats what scares me the must that i cnt win her back. I tried by hitting her up in other person phone and shes willing to go out in dates with other guys. So i want to tell her that i dont want to be her friend because i love her so much but at the same time i dont want to stop talking to her. I need help to tell her that i dont want to be her friend because of my feelings

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup, Juan… however, try NOT to cut the “no contact” rule short, okay? Employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise. Good luck!

      Reply
  121. Jay
    Jay says:

    Hey Brad, thanks for the article. My girl and I have been apart about 2 months. 3 weeks ago she told me she missed me and we had a “let’s try to work it out” convo….a couple days later she tells me it’s not going to work and that she’s onto someone new. She hit me with a “let’s hangout as friends, it’ll never be more” about a week ago, I didn’t respond and have been in NC. How long do you suggest I stay in NC given her new relationship?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You’re welcome! Never agree to be just friends, man. Try to see the role that you BOTH played that led to the breakup though. Your ex may be rebounding, so be sure to play your cards right. Keep track of what you’ve been doing to see if it’s productive or not, as far as getting your ex back is concerned. Have you checked out my guide yet? It may be time to revamp your techniques. Before anything else though, take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting her back. Answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  122. Emma
    Emma says:

    Hi,

    I came here looking for help and advice on how to get things back on track with my ex.

    We have been together for 15 year, married for 5 this October. He started to become very needy always wanted to be next to me, got jealous over everything! (Even me reading!) I went to Paris for w nights with a girlfriend and I rang him from the effilé tower, I was so excited and wanted him and oUR daughters to see where I was ect but he was so angry and bitter  (that had been going on for a while) when I got home he shouted at me and said the most horrible things, he didn’t want to see my photos or ask me anything but my daughter where really excited to hear. Two days later I was doing the dishes and he started shouting at me I just broke down and asked him to leave. He moved out got a place of his own we were going to start dating but things were worse I started drinking ALOT! I started smoking, I nearly lost my job and was in the middle of a break down. Yet he kept asking to spend time with me no matter how big or small (sometimes we ended up back in bed together other times a huge fight), I kept asking for space I needed to get my life back on track for me and the girls. Well he started to distance himself which gave me time to sort myself out, we started to take our girls out on day trips ect finally I had hope we could work it out! Then august 27th he told me he had to go away it was a year since he moved out…….I couldn’t understand his need to get away because I wanted to spend the weekend together as a family! Then he told me he was seeing a married woman and wanted to make it work with her 😔 first I was cool listened to him gave him adice ect but my Sunday I cracked we had a big argument whilst he was away I felt betrayed all the things he had said ect and he was seeing her! I finally told him how I felt, I had hope we could work it out, I didn’t want to throw 15 years away! I didn’t want to end our marriage. Well we slept together took the kids out ect but now I’ve turned into some needy crazy woman! I’ve sent him pics to say look what your missing, I’ve seduced him I’ve begged he spends the night, we fight because he doesn’t spend time with me. None of this is how I have ever acted before! All I can think of is how to get back the last few months! Also I know he is stringing both of us along as he doesn’t know how he feels, she is the opposite of me in every way! I’m fun stupid opinionated, some say glamorous I always take pride in how I look (he gets jealous when others look at me. She is sweet nice quite and very much a plan Janet (I’ve met her a few times over the years but honestly can not remember her! We have mutual friends who tell me how lovely she is. She has told him to do what’s right for him (but what they could have could be so special and beautiful, well that’s what he told me)

    Where as I’ve gone crazy ringing him stalking her. I sent her a message asking what’s going on between them as I can’t keep playing happy families and letting him on my bed if they want to be together and she didn’t reply she just blocked me.

    I hate this feeling and what I am becoming. 

    So I have gone everywhere looking for help or advice.

    Wow kinda felt good writing this.

    Much thanks
    Emma

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Emma, I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation as well. Thanks for your understanding! Take care!

      Reply
  123. Rocky
    Rocky says:

    Hi brad ,actually i have a question what does it mean if you are following the “no contact rule “and your x start putting guys picture on what’s app,last time i talk to her she told me to take over it and then i use the no contact rule and i notice that she start putting guys dp on her what’s app does it mean she’s trying to say something or a sign or make me jealous cuz its near one month I’m not contacting her and you really helped me by your video in many ways
    Thanks .

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      That could just be her way of coping or she’s trying to make you jealous. Either way, it’s not a good idea for you to overanalyze that kind of stuff. Any kind of thinking about what your ex does or says is a bad idea. Watch this, first: Are You Overanalyzing Your Ex’s Behaviour? It’s important to shift the focus away from your ex and back to you instead and in time, as you heal, dig deeper instead as to what has caused the breakup and the roles that you BOTH played in it, okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  124. Molly
    Molly says:

    Curious if you think your Ex Factor tactics will be successful in my situation. 14 year relationship living together. I didn’t see it coming. “I love you but not IN love with you.” I’d like to try the 30 day No Contact but it’s difficult because he’s slowly moving out. Coming once a week for more stuff. He wants the house out of his name, bills separated, etc. Has been willing to support financially for the time being. Suggestions??

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup. Your ex is likely finding excuses to break up. Watch this first to help guide you: What Your Ex Meant By ‘It’s Me, Not You’ & Other Common Excuses. I suggest you to take a breather and don’t bother him at all. Use this time instead to try to objectively look at the situation and see what the real issue/s are in your relationship, as well as the role that you both played in it, okay? If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  125. Raashi
    Raashi says:

    Hey Brad! I’m Priyanka. Me and my ex were in a such an intimate relationship. We thought we could never lived without each other. It was so intense. Lately he lost all the feelings and love he used to have. He says he is feeling guilty because he is giving me hopes that he will be there with me till the end and marry me and all. In the starting or may be till a year, he was so sure that he is gonna stay with me for life and now he is doing this. He left to USA for higher studies this August. I was feeling bad because he won’t be here anymore but I dint expect to get a heartbreak like this. I asked him you would have told me in the starting itself about the hopes and all, I would have taken you so seriously and he says “I was blinded by the feelings I had for you” and that line makes me cry every day. I did a lot of begging and pleading, it never worked. He wanted us to be friends so that we won’t have any hopes and if our parents agree then we can get married or we can stay the same friends. I said a big no this and currently I blocked him and he blocked me too and I’m following your no contact period. He unblocked me after the second day and he is still blocked in my contacts.Its been four days. I am not able to see a person who couldn’t sleep without talking to me be so rude and taking me and my love for granted. Will he come back and is it worth all my tears and heartbreak if he comes back? Please help me out.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Raashi. Sorry to hear about the breakup. Employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, okay? Basically give it time first and take the chill pill as overthinking will only cause more worries than necessary. Watch and learn some tips here, too: 5 Mistakes that Could Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back. Good luck!

      Reply
  126. Adriana
    Adriana says:

    Hi Brad,
    I’m Adriana, I just went through a breakup about 1 month and 3 days ago. I’m really confused and I just simply don’t understand why did it happen. So I decided to tell you my story, because i think it’s a unique one, and i really need your help. I mean desperately. At the begining of our relationship after 2 years, i broke up with him. We both made mistakes, but after 3 months, i realized, i couldn’t live without him, and i wanted him back. So in February i told him, that i wanted to start again. The answer was: „it’s not up to me.” So we started to hang out, and we began to behave as if we were a couple. Although nothing was the same. But i accepted, it couldn’t be. Then, about six months later, i asked him: what is going on between us? But he couldn’t tell me. He said that he likes me, but he needs time to think. From that moment, he constantly pushed me away, and at the end of August, he broke up with me. He said that he loves me, but he is no longer in love with me, and only one thing stops him to start again, the WILL. I dindn’t understand it. I still can’t. But I really get panicked, and i made some mistakes, because i asked him to stay friends. FRIENDS? I just don’t want to be his friend, but i didn’t want to lose him. AGAIN. I know him for 8 years, and we are friends for 5 years. He is the love of my life. I know, i’m only 21, but for me it is a long time. Since then he wrote me once a week, but i just couldn’t stop myself, so i wrote him, and i told him how much i miss/need/love him. 10 days ago, he hadn’t written to me. I don’t know what to do to get him back. I just don’t want to make more mistakes. So Brad, if there is any chance to get him back, please tell me, or help me, because it consumes me. Like hell.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      What reasons did you have for breaking up with him? Examine those reasons first since it may or may not likely play a role if you do get back together. Can your issues be resolved or not? I know you miss him and perhaps still love him deeply, but if the reasons why you broke up with him in the first place are still there, then it’s not likely gonna work out anyway. Also, what did you mean by mistakes? What mistakes were made during the relationship? I’m sorry, but there’s lots of missing pieces here, sign up for my coaching program instead so I can look into your situation more clearly and figure out what’s going on, then guide you on a regular basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  127. Matthew
    Matthew says:

    Dear Brad, I understand why it’s a bad idea to suggest friendship to your ex girlfriend/boyfriend, but I’m a tiny bit confused why we were suggesting it to them with the “clean slate” email :
    ‘… I’m moving on. I hope we can still be friends down the road, though… “. Was the purpose of this to make him feel we are in lo 0?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      The purpose of that email is to get your ex into a “neutral” state, this is why the clean slate email works best if you sent it as soon as possible, or as soon as the breakup happens in your case. You won’t be friends with them per se, but by getting your ex into a somewhat neutral state, this will help her become receptive to communication down the line, not right away though. Plus you BOTH really need to take some time off each other, around a month or so will do. Make sense now? I hope that answers your question. Remember to follow the guide down to a tee. Stay strong. Good luck!

      Reply
  128. Lebo
    Lebo says:

    Hey Brad,

    My boyfriend broke up with me few weeks ago. We have been communicating ever since. The thing is when we don’t talk at all it hurts so much but when we communicate I actually feel better about the situation. I think I want him back and I still have feelings for him. He says the reason for the break up is that is he not ready to be in love with someone, he claims that he has insecurities, self doubt and is not in a good state emotionally. He keeps on telling me that he will always love me but strongly believes that the break up is for the best. I’m so confused. Your assistance will be highly appreciated Brad

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Lebo, sorry to hear about the breakup. You ought to stop communication with your ex first, for at least a month. A lot of things could go wrong if you continue to be all friendly after the breakup, including what your ex is experiencing towards you now. He most likely made excuses to breakup, watch this: What Your Ex Meant By ‘It’s Me, Not You’ and other excuses. You see, the thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You. Good luck!

      Reply
  129. Tinoy John
    Tinoy John says:

    Hi Brad,

    My gf of 3 years broke up with me stating that she doesn’t feel it for me anymore. It’s been two months since this happened. So from that period I’ve tried to have a no contact with her but I’ve always messed it up. Today I did meet her and told her that I still have feelings for her and she did end up making me a “friend”. I have a feeling that if I stay friends with her there might be chances that I could fix everything. There’s another guy in the picture who has expressed her his feelings after the breakup but he’s told her that he would be friends if nothing happened. I’m lost now and I do not know what to do. You’re the expert here Brad. Please help me out.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Try to stick to the “no contact” rule this time. A situation with an ex is fragile, so you’d really want to omit, if not minimize these mistakes, okay? In other words, the more you stick around trying to be friends and doing all these mistakes, the more the other guy will become a better option by default. There are no unlimited chances with an ex, so if you can do it right moving forward, then do so. Watch this: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good timing is essential. Good luck!

      Reply
  130. Sean
    Sean says:

    Hey brad I want to start off by saying I’m 18 an so was my girlfriend, we dated for over a year and always stood by each other through everything. The love we both had for each other was so real. We were both each other’s best friend and each other’s everything and I thought I had truly found the girl of my dreams. We both loved each other unconditionally and went through so much together but she still broke my heart. We broke up about three days ago and have still been talking like we did before because we both don’t want to ruin the friendship that we built during our year together because we were so close. Her main reasoning behind wanting to break up was because she needed to be alone and need time to herself and she thinks we both do to help ourselves grow and become less dependent on each other. Both of us have been very upset over what happened to us and at times i think she is more hurt than I am. I just wanted to know if there was any hope of us getting back together? I did everything your videos suggested and I told her that I was going to change my controlling and dependent ways (which I was never aware of until we broke up) and I told her we needed to not talk for right now. I am seeing her again this coming Friday so we can give each other back the things we gave over the year and we are again going talk about what happened and i was just wondering if you had any advice on what to say or do to possibly try to convince her that she is making a mistake like I know she is. I and most of the friends we share think her decision was heavily influenced by one of her best friends (who is a bad influence to her and doesn’t have her best intentions in mind ever) who has always been jealous of our relationship because we were so close, even though neither I or any of our shared friends have any evidence that this is true we all speculate that it happened because of who the girl is. Thank you for listening to me and any advice you have to give on what to say to her is well appreciated. Thanks.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Sean, sorry to hear about the breakup. You both need some time apart before you can truly be friends, if that’s what you both really wanted. There’s no switch button to go from being lovers to just being friends. Okay? Once that line has been crossed, there’s almost never going back to the friendship, but with enough time, it can happen. I suggest you stop trying to be friends. And besides, if her reason for wanting to break up is her wanting to be alone and needing time for herself, how is being her friend going to help? Respect her decision first and take time to process the breakup instead, so she gets to do the same. Watch this, too: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back. Good luck!

      Reply
  131. Dave
    Dave says:

    Hello.. I just went through a breakup a couple of weeks ago. It lasted for good 3-4 months, the love was intense and real. Yes, it’s a long distance relationship and I was almost ready to visit her.

    Now.. she had been in a relationship with her ex-boyfriend for one year (went just fine) and then broke up two times afterwards (rebound relationship) and he was being verbally abusive via text and called her a whore and other painful derogatory remarks. During my relationship with my ex-girlfriend after she broke up with him, he again broke NC rule and made derogatory text message every 2 weeks. Then last week he pleaded and begged her to make peaceful amends and forgive n’ forget. She unblocked him and let him in his life; as a result of this, she broke me up for trivial reasons (half truth & half lie) until I found out that she got back with him instantly after my breakup and initiated sexual contact. This sounds like a rebound relationship to me and it probably won’t work on the long run? No? Besides, all of her family hated him for what he did to her in the past.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Dave, sorry to hear you’re going through this. I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but if there’s a rebound relationship, that rebound guy is you. She’s not exactly over her ex yet, which is made evident by her going back to him regardless of how she’s being treated by him. You’ve been her comfort zone and her go-to person all along and this is why she’s keeping you in the loop, but I doubt she has real feelings for you, judging by how the relationship ended prematurely and how she quickly jumps back to her ex’s arms. Watch this to help guide you: How to Get Your Ex Back If You Were In a Long Distance Relationship. I suggest you consider moving on from this, okay? It may not be worth it. Good luck and I hope you find the right girl for you soon!

      Reply
      • Dave
        Dave says:

        She just contacted me today… wow.. I had to respond because she was in physical pain. Suggestions? I didn’t even start any contacts. Probably I should be paying you lol….

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          What type of pain? If it’s along the lines of emotional pain brought about by her ex whom she’s having a hard time leaving, then you’d better stay off, man. I could be wrong though and I really don’t want to jump into conclusions before I get the full story, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

          Reply
  132. Mariana
    Mariana says:

    Hey Brad, first, i thank you so much for those advices and orientations, but i have a questio , why would refusing the frienship with ex be a risk of ending any sort of contact with them after? I mean that i was thinking that the ex would try to get closer from you because he kind of got used to you in his life and no one was caring about him as much as you did so the ex can’t handle the idea of being out of your life totally wich will bring the ex back in place of pushing him or her away. Ok please give me your opinion if im wrong or right abt this 🙂 thank you

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You’re welcome, Mariana. You’re put at a blatant disadvantage because in order for your ex to want you back and realize your value, you ought to make him feel what it’s like NOT to have you in his life, okay? If you’re always there, as a friend, chances are he’ll keep you but will still be moving on to someone else…and you’ll witness it all and would only put yourself through unnecessary pain. Use this time instead to work on yourself, all right? Don’t become an emotional crutch unless you just want to be friends with him and nothing more. Watch this, too: The Dangers of the “Friendzone.” So employ the “no contact” rule before it really becomes too late.

      Reply
  133. jassi
    jassi says:

    Hey Brad, its been a while since the breakup and i m about 10-12 days into the no contact zone. Whenever i see my ex she is having a nice time with her friends and i really don’t feel she is missing me. I display a strong character in front of her and i always make myself look happy with my life and friends. I dont feel the same from inside and i really want her back. Can you give me some advice regarding this because this no contact thing doesn’t seem like working for me

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Jassi. Sorry to hear about the breakup. If your relationship was serious/long-term, then I can almost guarantee that your ex is likely putting up a strong front as well. I suggest you use this time productively and stop trying to observe your ex, okay? Now is the time to be focusing on yourself and as your mind clears, think of the real issues behind the breakup and the roles that you BOTH played that led to it. This can help you see if the situation can be truly salvaged or not. Good luck!

      Reply
      • jassi
        jassi says:

        Yes, I read your book the ex factor guide and i understand the mistakes i made which made her lose attraction for me. I feel that things can be sorted and given a new chance if I correct my mistakes and improve as a person when i try to reconnect with her. i have been out on a few dates and i feel good about myself that other girls show interest in me but deep down inside i want to give another shot to my ex gf. i just fear that what will i do if she moves on with someone else during our no contact period. she is also been going out with other people too. Shall i cut short my no contact and contact her after 20 days instead of 30 ?

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          Great! I’m glad you now have the tools to guide you on what to do. Now I know it’s difficult (and it’s a different challenge all on its own) but try to follow the guide down to a tee, all right? This means to wait AT LEAST a month, and no don’t cut it short and don’t try to rush it, otherwise you’d be back to square one. Read it many times over until you master it. Take care!

          Reply
  134. priya
    priya says:

    Hey Brad, its really a hard time for me…I and my ex broke up 5 months ago..our relation started with friendship..we are very good friends..he proposed me first..i rejected..still we r good friends..though we were not into a serious relationship..our emotions are very intense..later on i got feelings towards him..then he said he don’t love me anymore..Most of the time I used to cry talking to him about his rejection because he is the only person i could share..he feels bad about my situation..now he seeing another girl,he didn’t go into a serious relation with her but I am not able to take this..I am not over him yet..I don’t want to loose his friendship too..even he wants me to be as his friend despite of all the pain I am suffering..Our friendship is so pure and we are always honest to each other…What to do now?? please guide me through this..Thank you 🙂

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Priya, sorry to hear about the breakup. Your friendship is honest, but have you told him when you started falling for him, too? If not, then it may be a case of a little too late and as much as I hate to say this, I suggest you move on from this, okay? Also try to see why you want him all of a sudden now that he has a girlfriend and be sure it’s not because you’re wanting something (or someone) you know you can’t have. This may help: Is Your Ex the Right Person For You? Take care!

      Reply
  135. Ashish
    Ashish says:

    Hey Brad,

    I just want to say that it’s really hard time bro….more than year relationship i can’t forget …..how is it possible she forgot it ….it’s the time I feel like I am alone no one is helping me out bro many questions are in my mind whether I think she moved on….but the think is that we are really close to each other like she come to home twice how she forget ever think every day we spend 4 hrs while seating with each other and spending time on phone….like 6 hrs daily but how it is possible ….after break up she can’t even contact me….the major drawback is ….I just beg for her like aa Beger I don’t know y but saying sorry is like …….she just simply said don’t call me or message me again…my heart was dead I am fully dead at that time… till now I cried alot daily …..there no contact now between us like 5-7 days but she always cheak my Snapchat story …bro do you think something gona happed now with which she came back? Bro plz show me the right path …I am nothing without her……-Ashish

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Ashish, sorry to hear about the breakup. People often leave a mark when they leave, especially someone really special, so forgetting that someone is almost impossible. I’m sure she remembers you, too. But if you’re trying to get over someone, the good news is there will come a time when you remember but will no longer feel the pain. If the breakup is fresh, you BOTH likely need time to process your own feelings first, all right? Don’t beg her. Stop talking to her instead and take this time to focus on yourself. All right? Watch this vid: How to Make Your Ex Miss You.

      Reply
  136. Teo
    Teo says:

    Hi Brad,

    Me and my ex were together 4 months and had a very powerful love between us. She was a jealous person and we were arguing about some meaningless topics. After all that arguments I have decided to break up with her and then found out that it was not the right decision. Then I tried to get back with her then her answer was, we fell apart and and she does not want to be with me anymore. On our last talk she was holding my hands telling me that she still loves me but she needs some time and if there will be something between us again the time will show it. She needed time and does not want a relationship right now. She got used to being single. Do you think during this break up time, she moved on to someone else ? I am doing the no contact rule at the moment , it has been 4 days and still no contact from both sides. What shall I do ? What are the chances of her missing me? Do you think she is just moving on ? Please help me on this situation. Thank you and sorry for grammar mistakes.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      If you’ve been pretty close during the 4 months you were in a relationship with her, then I highly doubt she’d forget you that easily. Subsequently, if it wasn’t a closely bonded relationship, then there’s a chance she had moved on, particularly if the relationship hadn’t been going well. So a lot depends on your situation and other factors at play. Your best bet, however, is still to cut off communication for at least a month and let her miss you. Watch this, too: Will Your Ex Forget About You During No Contact? So stay strong and just play your cards right so you don’t push her away, then take steps to rebuild the attraction. My Ex Factor Guide can help with that, so check it out. Good luck!

      Reply
      • AMy
        AMy says:

        Hey Brad, me and my were together for 5 years. he broke up with me 2 months back.. We loved each other very much. wee were thinking of getting married. he has a lot of friends, girls as well as boys..i was very possessive and used to come up with girls issue.he broke up with me three times because of my attitude..but he came back every time firstly because i begged him and secondly because he loved me…he never hide anything from me..whenever he meet a new person he tells me..he said he is losing his freesom and how he can live with a person who doesnt trust him..so i pushed him hard and finally he told me his feelings for me is dead..he tried his best but it is not working..he said we can keep in touch..this time i didn’t beg..i knew i was hurting him so much..i didn’t text him for two weeks since the break up..after two weeks of break up he texted me saying merry Christmas and his article got published..he is really such a nice person..i texted him a few times after his message.. but i didn’t mention anything about relationship..he is replying to my messages..one of my friends invited me and my ex for dinner and he seemed interested to come but i did not go the dinner i thought it is not a good idea to meet him at this point so fastly..i need him back..what can i do?

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          Hi Amy! Sorry to hear about the breakup. He probably just need a break, so try not to make any more of these mistakes, okay? A good way to ensure that is by cutting off communications with your ex for at least a month. Get yourself together first. Watch this too to help you you in the future: How to Get A Boyfriend. Take care!

          Reply
  137. Rose
    Rose says:

    Hi brad,
    Me and my ex were together 2 years and lived together. We loved each other very much but arguments began to take their toll and then I became more paranoid when a girl from his work kept messaging. He always said they were just friends. He broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and moved out. Last weekend I was out and saw him kissing this girl from his work but he assured me it was nothing and just happened drunk. Two days later I bumped into them at the pub but he again said they are just friends and were meeting to clear the air before they went back to work. I’m not doubting if hes told the truth about the break up but am confused why now he wouldn’t just be honest about it?
    He’d told my family and friends that he’d planned on proposing to me in the past. We broke up because he was unhappy with the arguments but said he will always care about me.I am addressing that part of my life separately as I have been diagnosed with body dysmorphia which was making me very down and low in myself which made me take things out on him that I shouldn’t have.
    Tomorrow will be 7 days into no contact. I have purchased your program ‘the ex factor’ and am going through the steps. I am quite uncertain of whats going to happen and have accepted the relationship is over but know more than anything that I love him and want him back. In my head though him not being in touch so far is making me feel like I must’ve meant nothing at all.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey, Rose. Sorry to hear about the breakup. I suggest to turn the focus on you instead and your own life first, all right? It’s very likely that these arguments have taken a toll on you both, especially him, so give it some time to allow for the negativity to dissipate first. Try to see what’s causing these arguments anyway and get to the bottom issue since too having too many arguments, especially over recurring things, can really damage a relationship. Take your time in this since getting an ex back is a process, but first work on yourself and the changes you ought to be making, put the relationship in the back burner if you have to. Take care!

      Reply
      • Rose
        Rose says:

        Thanks brad. I am taking the necessary steps to already work on myself. With exercise, diet and lots of social occasions I am enjoying alongside my personal CBT sessions I am feeling much better in myself. But still missing my boyfriend a lot. Hoping the ex factor program will work for me but it’s hard not to think he doesn’t miss me at all when he’s not been in touch yet. This is the longest we’ve not been in contact ever.

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          You’re welcome. I’m glad you now have the tools to guide you on what to do. Now I know it’s difficult (and it’s a different challenge all on its own) but try to follow the guide down to a tee, all right? Read it many times over until you master it. All right? Take care!

          Reply
  138. Bryan
    Bryan says:

    My ex fiance and I were together for almost 3 years and it was pretty intense for most of it. We got engaged after 6 months and moved in together in a new city she transferred to for work after 11 months. During this time, in the last few months of our relationship, I started growing cold towards her. Eventually I told her I needed to move out of the house and have some space. I also told her I did not want to break up with her during this time.

    On July 1st, I moved out. A few days later, I came back and told her it was a mistake and that I wanted to mend the relationship. She told me she needed space, time to miss me, and to find herself. Well for the next 6 weeks, we were still sleeping together and talking and doing other stuff. Come to find out, a few days after we had sex for what I guess was the last time, she had a man over at her house. I knew this because I was suspicious and went over there and lo and behold, there he was. She came outside and talked to me and was upset about what I did, but I was angry. I didn’t yell at her or put my hands on her (I never have), but it wasn’t a good site (I was also drunk).

    I’d also like to add, that during these 6 weeks, I’ve been pushing her pretty hard into getting back into a relationship and she was getting rather angry. I also told her I didn’t want to be JUST friends and that we could be FWB while she figured stuff out. Well, that obviously didn’t happen and now it leads us to now. I’ve been texting her pretty frequently about who this guy is and she’s saying it’s none of my business, even though I know they hang out rather often at her place (haven’t been over there but one other time, but I know other things about her that would tell me this). I just recently asked her to tell me what it was or to block my number, block me from all social media, and hide any posts about us on her Facebook because I’m sure her boyfriend wouldn’t like that. Well, she got PISSED and told me to quit contacting her and when she wants to talk to me, then it will be up to me if I want to respond.

    I was acting VERY beta during this time period and now all I have left is just leaving her alone and getting busy. I don’t think the relationship with this guy is anything than a FWB situation, where she needs to feel validated by another man that isn’t me (daddy issues), and once she’s gotten enough of that validation, she might talk to me eye to eye. I’m confident she is hiding this “relationship” from everyone else and she does not say anything on Facebook like she did with me when we first met.

    Is 30 days really going to be well enough to let her handle this issue and allow enough time for her to miss me? I know I shouldn’t want her back, but in my mind, she was/is my unicorn and I’d hate for this to be over. I know it’s difficult to look at someone in eyes with the same love you felt before, but I think it’s possible if she can overcome this and forgive me for being a fool recently. We’re also both aware that our previous relationship is dead and buried.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  139. mounika
    mounika says:

    hey brad…my relationship is from past 6 years…because of my parents i left him but i can’t forgot him and still he is loving me but he is not showing his love how can i change him plzz i need advice

    Reply
  140. edward
    edward says:

    Hey brad… I need advice… I was in a relationship with my girl for 6 years and she broke up with me a week before my birthday we even have a child together that’s a year old now… we had our fair share of arguments but we always worked it out …. our last argument she told me to get my act together so I did exactly what sh wanted and she left me still! So I need advice please

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Edward, get your act together how? Sorry to hear about the breakup. Make sure to take some time off so you can see things clearly and take a closer look at the roles that you BOTH played that led to the demise of this 6-year relationship, okay? You’d really want to stop drama at all costs, now, so really cut off contact for a good while. But since you have a kid together, just keep contact to a minimum and try with all your might to keep it strictly about the kid, don’t divert the topic! All right? Good luck and stay strong!

      Reply
  141. John
    John says:

    Hi. My ex initiated the breakup and I understand why she chose to do so. We had small arguments that led to one big one while I was away on vacation and she blew up because she told me that she bottled up feelings about the arguments because she was afraid of how I would react. We’re in the part of our lives where long distance was the only option so she realized that there’s no point to keep trying in the relationship since we don’t have time. But, she told me that after we both work on ourselves, she wants to try again because she was done with the relationship but not done with me. She said she feels all the same feelings as I do but she was just done trying relationship wise. I’ve been giving her time since we broke up but I always want to talk to her and ask how she feels. I want to try again too but a lot could happen in the year that I’m gone and a lot can change. What do I do communication wise? Should I try to maintain something with her? Should I just let her go?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      John, sorry to hear it. The distance may have likely taken its toll on her. It’s actually ultimately your decision to let her go or keep fighting for her back. If you choose to do the latter, however, you ought to play your cards right. It’s about time to shift the focus away from her and back to you instead at 100% all right? Watch this to learn some tips on how to deal with it: How to Get Your Ex Back in a Long Distance Relationship. If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

      Reply
  142. Liah
    Liah says:

    Hello Brad, I’ve been watching you videos recently. On September, my 30 no contact will end and I feel like, I don’t know what to do next. My boyfriend broke up with me last July 22, 2016. He said that he didn’t love me anymore and he sees me as a friend only. We were together for 3 years and 7 months, I’m not sure if the 7 months, he still loves me o pretended that he loves me. Our anniversary is Dec 15 which is my birthday, he said that he still love me during that period, we fought last march because I teased him on his crush before, he broke up with me because of that and I apologized to him and begged to stay. He stayed and we had many family bonding in the next months. He helped me to apply for the scholarship so we can enter the same university. I passed and we were good until the night before July 22, we had a small fight, I was stressed out in school and family issues, and when we talked through call at first it was great but I got annoyed with his joke, and he got mad and ended the call. I felt bad, and wanted to apologize for being so sensitive and being stressed, but he replied that he was tired. After the weekend, we talked and he told me that he doesn’t love me anymore, and I did my best not to show him that I’m hurt. But stupid of me, I accepted his offer that we wants to be friends with me, we walked home together as if nothing happened, we spent time like going out and texts, but without intimate relation, this happened for one week, until I realized that I was just pretending to be okay and accepting the “friendship”, I still feel hurt, so I chatted him that I can’t handle the friendship anymore because it still hurts. He unfriended me on Facebook. Since then I barely see him on the campus maybe because of our conflict schedules. I’m still trying to move on and fix myself, but deep inside I still love him. To keep myself from drama, I just imagine that maybe he found someone better than me, maybe that’s the reason.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Liah, sorry to hear about the breakup. If you haven’t cut off contact yet, then that would likely cause him to automatically friendzone you, which is a big no-no, so try to follow the “no contact” rule religiously, okay? If you both keep getting annoyed over the jokes each one makes, then perhaps you both ought to communicate so you both can tone it down a bit. Anyway whatever the case may be, act responsibly yet try not to take things too seriously now since you may be in a period of growth and lots of changes, including preferences in attitude, personality, etc. Focus on your studies instead, all right? Take care!

      Reply
  143. Lorna
    Lorna says:

    Hi Brad, Me and my ex were together for about 2 years overseas. Things didn’t work out and I moved back home for a fresh start. He then came with his family for a visit and gave me all the signals that perhaps we would get back together. As the holiday ended, I left the ball in his court and decided to see if he wanted to give things another shot. I gave him weeks and finally decided to ask him what was going on because it set me back a lot.. waiting and wondering. Anyway, he decided that we should move on. I was shocked and hurt but I decided that was okay and was very pleasant in my response. I tried this friendship idea for months and it only brought me back to square one, so i told him i didn’t want to be friends and we should move on. Did i do the right thing?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Lorna. Sorry to hear about the breakup. The thing with getting an ex back if there’s hardly any deadline as when you two should be back together. Asking him was a bad move, so is putting too much power on your ex’s hands, as you also play a role in rebuilding the attraction you two once had for each other. Anyway refusing to be friends is right, so give it time, okay? And try not to rush it this time. Play your cards right. Read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good timing is essential! Good luck!

      Reply
      • Lorna
        Lorna says:

        Thanks Brad. I think I knew that was a bad move to be honest…. I just felt it was holding me back, the not knowing and I am the kind of person that just cant move on until I know for sure things are over. I won’t be contacting him again or wasting anymore time on trying to figure out what is going on in his head. Maybe in time things will change. Thanks again!

        Reply
  144. trice
    trice says:

    Hello me and my ex husband have been trying to make things work one min he wants to be in an relationship with me and the next me he do not, and now he want to be friends. Yes I love him but he can not stop with this confused mess I have to move on with my life and be happy. What should I do at this time?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You did the right thing by not being friends with him. Now make sure you employ the 30-day rule, first and foremost, okay? I suggest you stay busy by reading my Ex Factor Guide, which covers every possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Good luck and stay strong!

      Reply
  145. Anthony
    Anthony says:

    My girlfriend and I broke up about 4 weeks ago. I have been in NC for about 3 weeks. She called me the perfect boyfriend and she said that I am everything she wants in a boyfriend. She said that I am the boyfriend she deserves, however she feels like something is missing. She doesn’t know what that something is but felt like she needed to end things because of this. She told me she doesn’t want to lose me out of her life and considers me her best friend… I told her she doesn’t get the best of both worlds and left. Since then she has invited me out once and even a invite over to her house to watch a movie, which we all know what that was meant to be, but I am here asking you what she means by somethings missing?? She doesn’t know what that something is but that’s why we broke it off. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, sorry to hear about the breakup. She’s contradicting herself by saying those things, which indicates that she’s likely very confused right now. Give her time to think and in the mean time, cut off communication for at least a month, all right? It’s best not to be friends with her, so rejecting her offer of friendship may have been your best move so far. Read my guide if you haven’t already since it has everything you need to do, especially the timing on when to do what. But for starters, watch this: 3 Things That Will Make Your Ex Want You Back. Good luck!

      Reply
  146. Lynn
    Lynn says:

    Hey Brad, I need advice on my situation so here it goes.
    My ex and I are both 32 years old and have been broken up for about 9 months now. He ended the relationship back in October of 2015, the day after my birthday. We celebrated it with a nice dinner and boom, I get a text message the next day saying he needed some space.
    I followed through with the NC(no contact rule) and focused on me. Joined a gym/all women bootcamp, lost 10 lbs, restarted a few businesses I’d talked about when he and I were together, and spent more time with family/friends.
    On Mothers Day I received a “Happy Mothers Day” text from him. I replied with a simple “Thank You.” And left it at that.
    Fast forward a few months later I sent the famous “accidental but intentional” text which opened up a short convo that I ended quickly. On the 4th I sent a simple text indicating I was thinking of him and hoped all was well. This has opened the door for short text messages here and there then an open invitation to dinner. At the moment I couldn’t go ( I was leaving out the country the next day) but told him I’d love to do so once I returned.
    Now to the present…. He and I had dinner a week ago. It went very smoothly and within conversation he brought up the break up and his reasons for doing so. I listened without judge or blame and made it very clear that I understood he had to take care of him. He asked how I felt and I did say how hurt I was and how much I stilled love him. He indicated he felt the same. Later he asked about my dating life and was surprised I was still single. He made it known he had a “lady friend” ( who had a 50/50 chance of being his girlfriend) but was not committed to anyone. He told me I looked good with the lost weight, new tan, and awesome figure. He later asked did I ever think about our sex life. I indicated all the time and he implemented he did the same. My question, is he opening the door for reconciliation or just friendship?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Lynn, good to know things went well the last time. Granted how it’s been months since the breakup, have you spent time reflecting on the real reasons behind the breakup? It’s important to look back and see what really happened so to prevent any pattern from recurring. All right? Now that that’s out of the way, your ex has clearly shown some good signs, watch the rest of it here: Does Your Ex Want You Back? 8 Signs To Look For Just a simple reminder: having these signs shown to you by an ex doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll ask for you back anytime, you ought to play your cards right too and not mess up the “progress.” Read my Ex Factor Guide or sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  147. Katia
    Katia says:

    Hi Brad,
    I have been doing no contact with my ex for over 30 days. he dumped me by text the last Tuesday in June, saying that he was feeling low,he wasn’t “boyfriend material” and it wasn’t fair on me. (I know this is bull and its about attraction). The only communication I have had with him since then was a text back to him a day or so later to say I was sorry he’d been feeling low, and that I felt devastated, but if he needed to talk I could listen. I didn’t expect or get a reply, and I have left him alone since then.
    I haven’t found the no contact particularly difficult because I have no idea what to say to him. In fact the idea of texting him anything to just be ignored or rejected is terrifying to me, but then so is the idea of spending the rest of my lift without him.
    I have been okayish up until yesterday and I am starting to feel anxious about him, and dreading the moment that I find out he is with someone else.
    I have bought your book, but it seems to be speaking to someone else, someone who is emotionally overt, who needs to be told to not to bawl and make a show of themselves, not to me.
    I am really starting to feel like I am on my own.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the “no contact” rule, Katia. I’m glad you seem to be staying strong, despite everything, and that the “no contact” rule isn’t really a challenge for you. This rule isn’t the end game, though, as you can see. I suggest you focus on the other parts mentioned in the guide, too, like getting yourself back to the point where you display these attractive traits and go through the second and third phases smoothly, all right? Review the guide until you master it. Good luck!

      Reply
  148. Joni
    Joni says:

    Hey Brad ,
    I know this is not right what I am about to ask but here goes … My ex just COLD TURKEY faded away from me .. Here is my story .. We have been together for 10 years .. Not a normal relationship but a very close one ! However … Here is the awful part .. We are BOTH married ! About a year ago he left his wife .. For only about 3 months both filed for divorce . But days before it was final he went back because he said he missed his two kids that are 6 & 4 . Yes he had two kids with her because they have never gotten along and she is very needy & trapped him with the kids . When he got back together with her about a year ago he admitted to her about us … Of course she made him block me from Facebook completely … But because he still said that he loved me he came running back after about 2 months however we taught school together so he saw me daily .. Just recently he was let go at school not because of us but coaching reasons .. Up until two weeks ago we were still seeing each other about once a week & texting daily … He would tell me how much he loved and cared for me & kept saying you will see .. And telling me how perfect and amazing he felt just being around me .. Like I said 2 weeks ago he just said he was under pressure to get a job & maybe we should not talk till we were both divorced . So of course I said fine we can still b friends .. But I have read your how to get your ex back program & now as of today it’s been only TWO WEEKS of no contact but a school called me for a reference about him & I gave a good recommendation & he got the job ! I just text and told him congrats & that I had given him a good rec from the call .. ABSOLUTELY NO RESPONSE . Do I have a chance at all ? He has said for years his wife is needy & complains constantly & even his friends say so .. She has no friends at all .. She is annoying .. I really do love him ! He has done this before and come back to me but I want to do things the RIGHT WAY & divorce before we are together .. The other way is wrong I know ! But we just are so perfect together .. He has said it a million times .. 10 years we have been seeing each other .. I need to know what to do ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Joni, 10 years and he still hasn’t filed a divorce yet? Are you planning to get a divorce as well? It may be a messy situation if things get out of hand. I doubt he’s gonna leave his wife, if he has plans to, then he already has. I don’t want to jump into conclusions, however, and I prefer to get the entire story first because this is s pretty unique situation you’re in and a lot of factors have to be taken into consideration, okay? So sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk to you soon!

      Reply
  149. Anton
    Anton says:

    Hey Brad, greetings from Austria.

    Me and my Ex broke up exactly 2 Months and 2 days ago, i wrote to her some apology and love letters and after 3 Weeks she started replying and unblocked me. One day i stood in front of her house (not the first time) because i saw her beeing at home whilst driving past it.
    She embraced me and hugged me. Time went on and she commited that she still loved me but isnt sure if she wants me back. (I have changed, dramatically, just for her).
    Time passed and we slowly grew together again. Since 3 Weeks everything is nearly perfect and we have a perfect “friendship +”. But that isnt my goal and our goal to get back together faded from her side. Yesterday we talked (a lot) and she still isnt ready for a relationship with me again, but is willing to bring back those days where we had our goal to be in a relationship again, and actually work for it (not nearly as much as i do).
    But the problem is, on Tuesday my family had planned to go on vacation (8 days) and i have to choose between spending time with her and staying home or going on vacation and grow even more apart from her.

    What should i do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi, Anton. It’s a bad idea to be friends with an ex if you want them back. Okay? Let me just put it out there in case you’ve missed some important points of this article. And you’re right, the perfect friendship isn’t what you’d aim for anyway if your goal is to get back together. Sure you can be friendly or in talking terms, but not friends. Friendship just blurs out the lines a lot. I want you to think carefully about that, as well as in deciding to leave on vacation or not, it’s ultimately up to you, man. But if you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  150. Sia
    Sia says:

    Hey brad..I was dating this guy for past three years we were very close but it was always on and off for him now he decided to break up saying he wants to be single I am not sure if he is dating someone but there might be possibilities .suggest how should I get him back

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Try to see what has caused this on and off dynamic in your relationship with him. Looking at the issues you’ve BOTH failed to address is more important than getting back together, if you want to stay together in the long run, so take a look at those first, all right? If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  151. Al Dayton
    Al Dayton says:

    Hello Brad. I’ve bought your program & have read it many times. Its great. My question is this. Its been 3 months since she left me. My ex hasn’t changed her address so she still gets her mail here. Shes never given back my key. Her & I text everyday & its about 50/50 on who starts it. We see eachother once about every 2 weeks & we have fun. She is seeing someone new but almost never mentions him. Should I take these as good signs? Thank you.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Thanks, Al. I’m glad you now have the tools to guide you on what to do. Now I know it’s difficult (and it’s a different challenge all on its own) but try to follow the guide down to a tee, all right? Read it many times over until you master it. The first phase can’t be skipped as it’s a really crucial step. Anyway yes, it’s a good sign that your ex takes time to initiate contact half the time! But again, continue to follow the steps outlined in my book and don’t make your own rules, okay? 🙂 For more definite signs that things are indeed looking up, watch this: Signs Your Ex Wants You Back. Good luck and stay strong!

      Reply
  152. Rodney
    Rodney says:

    Hey brad
    So me and my girlfriend broke up a month ago and it was because she fell out. She stop being in love with me and I tried everything to get her back flowers candy even tried to be her friend going to see her and fought for our relationship but nothing. She said she wanted to be friend but that’s not even working out and she’s already talking to another people. It’s seem no matter what I do she wants nothing to do with me and I don’t know what to do anymore. When I saw her for the last time we spoke but I was still in love and she just saw me as her friend but when we got on the train we acted like the past acted like a couple and even give a few kisses but still nothing so…What should I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Rodney. Sorry to hear about the breakup. Have you checked out my Ex Factor Guide yet? There has to be at least a month where you don’t speak to each other for around a month or so, this is what I call the “no contact” rule and is the first phase in my three-step program to get an ex back. Anyway eep track of what you’ve been doing to see if it’s productive or not, as far as getting your ex back is concerned. Take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting her back; answer as honestly as possible. Okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  153. Jono
    Jono says:

    Hey Brad,

    So my girlfriend (of 5 years) and I broke up in March but have a long lease on our rental so we’ve been persevering with living with one another. For all intents and purposes, the breakup was amicable and came down to the cliche “i love you but i’m not in love with you any more” line *cue heart stabbing feeling*.

    Over the next couple of months i nailed the ‘no contact despite living with one another still’ by being courteous and nice, but noticeably distant and not a support mechanism for her, and, at the beginning of June (after her flirting and being subtlety tactile for a couple of weeks) we ended up having a very close intimate weekend together when she jumped on me, kissed me passionately and admitted she’d wanted to do it for a couple of weeks. She was impressed that i’d gone away solo on a mini holiday, had been hitting the gym and been out doing lots of stuff and was having a life. Said i was coping with this a lot better than she was.

    We spent the weekend kissing, cuddling up and having a romantic dinner together…. but then she went away for a month on a pre-planned family holiday and has come back now with a very different vibe where she’s acting more distant and like we’re just friends. She’s also told a mutual friend (who secretly showed me the msg) that she’s ‘single now but all good’ and ‘could not see herself marrying me’ which doesn’t seem promising. It could just be a bit of bluster from her, she could mean it, or it could be somewhere in between.

    The change in vibe before her trip completely set my head into a spin and effectively reset my way of thinking (blast!) so, although we said lets have the month apart (there was no choice in terms of distance), and were not constantly in touch, we still did msg occasionally and she seemed impressed with my mini self-transforming fitness kick (her SMS when she was away saying as much after i posted online an image from an event i was attending).

    I’m in no way sure how to proceed as tactics to escape the friend zone (noooooooooooooooooooooooooo) are logical but I live with her and I don’t know if/how to modify things accordingly. Any advice on the matter would be helpful.

    Seriously, if you could provide a decent steer on how you would approach this scenario it would be much appreciated.
    I wouldn’t ask but this is a fairly niche combination of factors so the path is really, really, really unclear.

    Best wishes and all that.
    Jono

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, Jono. I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation as well. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  154. Marco
    Marco says:

    Hey Brad

    Me and my Girlfreind Broke up 2 weeks ago, we broke up because we had a rough month (we were together since 5 months) and i feel like i pushed her into this by asking her frequently if she still wants to go on i demanded a awnser although she said she doesnt know until she said she doesnt want to continue, but she still loved me. since then we met twice and even hugged us and kissed but she always says she cant do it anymore… what should i do?

    sorry for my bad english, english is not my motherstounge.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Marco, sorry to hear about the breakup. I hate to say this but I’ll have to agree that you DID somewhat pushed her into it, man. A good question to ask yourself though is how was your relationship with her prior to when your questions first started? By asking this question, I can sense some insecurity on your part, but dig deeper and try to see if it’s her acting a certain way which made you feel that…or if it’s something that’s innate with you. Without knowing more, it’s hard for me to give real advice. My first suggestion is probably not to change anything and to continue employing my techniques anyway — definitely follow the 30-day “no contact” rule, for starters. Do not be friends with her as that won’t go anywhere at this time. For specific advice that’s tailored to your situation, sign up for my coaching program so I can help you look more into what’s really going on, okay? Talk soon!

      Reply
  155. Shannon
    Shannon says:

    Me and my ex were together a year and a half but had an on and off relationship, due to him dealing with a lot of family problems. We have been broken up nearly 6 weeks now and I have started the no contact rule again, after breaking it the first time (it has now been 2 weeks). He moved on 2 weeks after we broke up but the relationship only lasted about a week. I’m wondering do I have a chance of getting back with him, or is it a lost cause.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      I suggest you take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting back together. He may be rebounding, so I suggest you employ the 30-day “no contact” rule completely, okay? I also ought to remind you that getting an ex back is a process, so there’s no one-action solution for everything. The “no contact” phase is a good start, so do that first if you haven’t yet. If you have. then I’m glad you’ve completed it. There are two more phases to go with a few other steps in between. What I’m trying to say here is it’s a 3-step process, and it’s a bit complicated to explain it all on here, but I made an overview in the hopes of making people understand, so watch it here: How to Get Your Ex Back or read my guide for the entire process. Good luck!

      Reply
  156. Joseph
    Joseph says:

    Hey Brad…
    We had dated with her back in campus and after campus we stayed for 8 months in the house and had even decided to get married by end of this year.Unfortunately we are of different tribes and her family lives far from our town.On April she had to attend her brother’s wedding.To cut the story short,she started cutting communications and complained about distance and that we are of different tribes and her relatives were against intermarriage,she later texted me that she had cheated on me.since then we’ve not had any communications and I still feel I have feelings for her.Can I still win her back.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Joseph, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but culture is a pretty strong influence and cultural difference, a huge barrier. And looking at how it’s affecting her decisions, it’s best to consider moving on from this, okay? Understand that the choice is ultimately up to your ex on whether to fight for you or not despite the opposition going on. Good luck!

      Reply
  157. Sarah
    Sarah says:

    My ex and I dated for 8 years. 3 years ago I moved away for a job in which he was supportive and things were good. We discussed marriage and kids and began planning our future. Just a year ago he moved 2 states away for a job and that put us really in a long distant relationship. Things were fine and he wanted me to move with him but finding a job wasn’t easy and I refused to move without a job. I also didn’t want to move without him committing to me. After 8 years I felt that for a move that grand I needed full commitment to quit my job and move. Unfortunately about 2 months ago he told me, over the phone, that he wasnt “100% in it anymore” and felt that we should “breakup for now” . Of course my heart dropped and I was devastated. I didn’t see it coming. I spent a month trying to get him back. His parents were hurt by it and we’re telling him he made a wrong decision. According to his parents he felt that he had hurt me too bad to try and get me back. (A lot happened during the course of the one month after the breakup) After a month of trying to talk he eventually went cold turkey so I decided to not reach out anymore and for a month I applied NC. A week ago I felt like I was able to reach out and I did and got a decent response back from him. I kept the conversation really short and I ended it. Although that went nice, Im beginning to want him to feel comfortable with reaching out to me and I don’t want to keep reaching out to him. Should I go NC for another month or maybe a couple of weeks just to see if he gives me a response. I want us to get back together but I don’t want to seem desparate. I’m not willing to pass up 8 years of a great relationship. He even said it was a great 8 years. I’m not sure, but I think he may be running from commitment. Any suggestions?