Should I Be Friends with My Ex?

You’re in the midst of a breakup and you’re going through a whirlwind of emotions. How will you be able to survive daily life without your ex? You’ve become so accustomed to having them by your side.

And then, out of the blue, your ex says, “But I still want to be friends.”

Great, you think to yourself, at least I’ll still be able to have my ex around when I’m missing them like crazy. That should help me get through this, you think, nodding in agreement at your ex’s suggestion that you keep the friendship alive.

But is it really such a good idea? Is the “friend zone” a place you want to be?

Probably not, to be perfectly honest. Being friends with your ex is actually almost always a bad idea and a recipe for additional (and unnecessary) heartache. In this article, I’ll explain what your ex actually wants when they suggest you should remain friends… and why it’s unwise in almost every scenario.

Why Being Friends Is So Tempting

Here’s the reason so many people get stuck in the “friend zone” after a breakup – and end up suffering the negative consequences: at first, it seems like a great idea. 

friend zone memeI mean, your ex is giving you an option that allows you to maintain contact with the person you’ve loved for some time and, in theory, this will allow you to move on gently and slowly without the intense feelings of loneliness that often accompany a breakup.

After all, if you can slowly wean yourself off those romantic feelings rather than going “cold turkey” and shutting down all contact with your ex, isn’t that a better option?

The problem is that even though it often seems like a perfect compromise, being friends usually provides very little comfort and actually makes the process of moving on longer and more difficult – and complicated – than it needs to be.

So even though it may sound like a brilliant idea at first, entering into the “friend zone” with your ex is actually just going to make things more painful and more drawn out.

Scenario #1:  You’re Done with Your Ex & Want to Move On…

If you’re the one who initiated the breakup, or if you’ve come to realize that a permanent separation from your ex is wise, then being “friends” is unwise for one simple reason: it will cause at least one of you unnecessary emotional turmoil and heartache that can be avoided.

Think about it this way: your relationship is over, and among other things you hope to move on and begin a new love life with someone else. Whether or not that happens immediately doesn’t really change things, because the best way to move on from someone is to completely remove them from your life.

Which of the following options is going to be less painful and less difficult to handle:

  1. You let your ex go his or her own way and do your best to avoid learning what they are up to, who they’re dating, etc.
  2. You actively communicate with your ex and constantly remind yourself of what used to be between you. You learn about their new romantic partners, hear about their sexual escapades, etc.

Obviously the former option will make the entire breakup process less painful on an emotional level, and will help you move on more quickly. By keeping your ex in your life as a friend, you’re basically allowing yourself to constantly be tempted by reminding yourself of the past… and you’re also opening yourself up to potentially painful knowledge about your ex’s new love life.

In other words, if you want to survive the breakup and move on as quickly as possible, entering the “friend zone” with your ex is pretty much always counterproductive.

take the quiz

Scenario #2:  You Want to Get Back Together with Your Ex

If the breakup with your ex happened against your will and you’re trying to get back together with them, then “friendship” is even worse.

Sensual woman kissing her handsome husband

To begin with, you’ll face all the problems I mentioned above: the experience will be more painful and it will take longer for you to get over your ex.

Even though a significant portion of relationships can be salvaged, some breakups will be permanent no matter how hard you try to reverse them. So if you happen to fall into this category, then all you’re achieving by agreeing to be friends with your ex after the breakup is increasing your emotional suffering and making the process of moving on more difficult than it needs to be.

There are a few other huge problems with agreeing to be friends with your ex if you want to win them back:

  • It won’t give them a chance to develop feelings of nostalgia and to miss you as much as if you aren’t around. As I explained in my article on how to get your ex back, one of the key ingredients to repairing a relationship is allowing enough time to pass that your ex begins to miss you like crazy. How do you make someone miss you? Simple: disappear from their life suddenly and completely, shutting down all lines of communication. By maintaining a friendship with your ex, it’s impossible to really effectively disappear from their radar and therefore for them miss you.
  • It gives complete control of the situation to your ex. Another key to winning back your ex is to make it clear that you are still equals, even if they decided to break up with you. You need to make it known that you’re not a pushover and that if your ex isn’t interested in a romantic relationship, then they’re cut from your life altogether.
  • You serve as a “safety net” for your ex while they look for someone new.  Do you want to be your ex’s confidante while they tell you about their new lover(s)? Do you want to be the backup quarterback in case things don’t work out with the new romance they’re pursing? Of course not. You have to make it absolutely clear to your ex that if they choose to break up with you, they’re on their own and they can’t come running back to you if they find the single life less fun than they’d imagined it would be. By stating in no uncertain terms that you’re not going to be sticking around when your ex decides to bail on your relationship, you’re telling them that you’re not wiling to be their “plan b”; you have dignity and pride and are worth being someone’s “number 1”.

Add those things together and the supposed “advantages” to being friends with your ex after a breakup seem much less appealing. In reality, there really isn’t any scenario in which being friends after a breakup (at least for the first few months) is a good idea.

How to Say No to the Friend Zone

If I’ve managed to convince you that being friends with your ex is an awful idea, then you may be wondering how to go about saying no to your ex. That can be especially tricky if you’re looking for a way to win them back and start fresh with your them in the future.

texting ex boyfriendI recommend saying something like, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for either of us to be friends right now. I was interested in being your [boyfriend/girlfriend] but I don’t really think being friends is going to be good for either of us. No hard feelings, though, and I wish you all the best.”

Saying that makes a clear stand on the issue without slinging any mud or closing the door to a possible future reconciliation. You want to make sure there’s no ambiguity or confusion over the issue, but you also want to be polite and diplomatic so as not to start any unnecessary conflicts.

If you’ve already agreed to being friends with your ex and you need help escaping the “friend zone,” I recommend you head over to my website and watch the free video that I’ve posted there. It will give you some more advice on how to proceed with your ex and how to escape the friend zone without shutting them out of your life permanently.

It’s often difficult to handle your ex when they want to be friends and you want to be lovers, and you need to tread carefully. That’s why I dedicated an entire section of my Ex Factor program to this topic, and I often help folks get through their unique situations.

Again, here’s a link to my website where you can claim a copy of my program (backed by a 100% money-back guarantee of course!) and sign up for my free email course.

Best of luck avoiding the dreaded “friend zone” – I welcome any questions or comments, so please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section at the bottom of this page.

About Brad Browning

Brad Browning, BA, is the world’s premiere breakup & marriage coach. Brad Browning’s The Ex Factor Guide, a program that teaches men and women how to win back their ex lovers, has sold thousands of copies worldwide. Brad has also released a similar program called Mend The Marriage that teaches married couples how to revitalize the spark, romance, and desire that’s been long forgotten. To top it all off, Brad’s YouTube channel has over 50 thousand subscribers and almost 7 million views, making his videos the most-watched and liked videos on YouTube!
600 replies
  1. Nat
    Nat says:

    My ex broke up with me last Thursday. We met on a chat site before we met in person and started dating. When he broke up with me he said we could still be friends, which I agreed to while emphasizing I didn’t want us to lose each other from our lives. In terms of getting him back it wasn’t the smart thing to do, but I have really bad abandonment issues, and if he left completely I would have been crushed.

    Additionally, he broke up with me for external factors (or so he said, he could have been trying to spare my feelings but he was having a really bad week, and me clinging only exacerbated his bad mood despite my efforts to help). I want him to understand that romance between us is not more important to me us being friends at all, and I want him to know that I’m here for him. He’s been in a tough situation for a while now, but he has a lot of growing to do as a person (as we both do).

    This is where I’m confused. We still have each other on Facebook. He’ll like things I post and share, and his status still says “In a relationship” from when I’ve changed mine (even though I’m 90% sure he just forgot to change his; it still had the date of our anniversary). It’s been almost eight days after the fact and I haven’t messaged him. Last night we were both in the same room of the chat site we met on. I was talking about something, and to my surprise he referenced an inside joke between us while also directing it at me. I responded and wished him a good night when he left to sleep, but I still haven’t messaged him, and he hasn’t messaged me directly at all.

    Now I’m worried he’s expecting me to reach out. People keep telling me he should because he broke up with me, and even if I initiated and contacted him directly, I already know what I’d say. But his actions are confusing me, and I feel stuck. I worry he’s trying to act like the break up didn’t happen, then that makes me feel like he doesn’t care, I get sad, and it’s a bad cycle. Please help me figure this out.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Nat! Sorry to hear about the breakup. It’s barely even two weeks, so him not deleting you on Facebook could be his way of coping. Everyone copes in lots of different ways, so it’s best not to read into this too much. Watch this to help guide you: Are You Overanalyzing Your Ex’s Behaviour? For now, you can stay busy yourself by focusing on your own life and your own passion. It would help if you read my Ex Factor Guide as well since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential. Take care!

      Reply
  2. Brian
    Brian says:

    My wife and have been split up for a few weeks. We have 3 children and we’re together for about 7 years. She told me she wanted a divorce and I found out a few days later she was seeing someone. I’ve since moved out and the kids are still with her. I don’t know how to get her to stop seeing him and begin to win her back. I still have to have contact with her because of the kids. How do I go about getting her to turn around?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Getting an ex back is a process, so it helps to be patient. So what happened between you two? When did all the trouble started and what has caused it? This may help: How to Rebuild Your Marriage But it’s really challenging for me to know where to give you a headstart, knowing only so little of the situation… Sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon?

      Reply
  3. sadhana rao
    sadhana rao says:

    Hi brad
    My bf n me had dis 1.5 yr realtionship in which after evry alternate week i used to ask him bout commitment. We always used to breakup on dis issue. At first he said he needed mre tym. Den slowly n slowly he said hez nt thinkng f marriage rite nw. M 29 hez 30. Few days ago we broke up totally. But it nevr seems lyk a final breakup. Lyk always he msgd me again. N evn i wasnt able to resist. But aftr seeing ur no friend zone article i msgd him his limit. Help me brad . Wat shud i do..

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Try not to rush it? A year isn’t enough basis for you both to know if you’re truly compatible. I suggest to enjoy what you have and NOT push the idea of marriage, especially since he’s understandably not open to it yet. It’s not healthy especially if that’s what keep starting most fights. So back off first and tell him you understand him and that you’re not pushing the idea of marriage. Only do so if your relationship was particularly good if you haven’t wanted more commitment. Okay? Take care!

      Reply
  4. Kartik
    Kartik says:

    Hey.. i need a advice.. i had a breakup With my ex 1 year ago .. i want her back.. but just want friendship.. and now we are only freinds.. help me.

    Reply
  5. Kartik
    Kartik says:

    Hey.. it has been more than a year of our breakup.. and. She told me few months ago she want freindship.. that time I said yes.. thinking that it’s a good idea.. but now I think it was a bad idea .. we talk sometimes and she tells me about her new bf or ex-bf. And it’s hurting me bad.. i want a suggestion from you pls..??

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Being friends never works, if you want your ex back. I suggest to get out of the friendzone first by watching and following the tips here: Escaping Your Ex Girlfriend’s Friendzone. If you still need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

      Reply
  6. Breanne Gibson
    Breanne Gibson says:

    Hello. About 3 1/2 weeks ago my wife said she needs space and a break from me and our marriage. Everything in our life has been stressful lately. We moved into a house and immediately it went on the market. We tried to buy a house and it fell through. She said she doesn’t feel good about herself. She has been staying with friends of hers from work, but has been slowly taking her clothes and things from our house (we have to move anyway since the house just sold) it’s not a clean break because of everything that is in both our names. We have days with no communication and other days where we text about the bills. We did have an hour long text session (no talk about relationship). I’m lost as to what to do. We have been together a total of 6 1/2 years and married for 4. I want her back sooo bad.

    Reply
  7. Aleksandar
    Aleksandar says:

    My ex after 3,5 years lef me and got back to her husband who was treating her very bad,he evn wanted to hit her and my ex brother almost end up in prison protecting her,not to mention she slept in bedroom he on sofa for years,and they had ppl in their lives…She left him and was feed up of life like that and all he family supported her in her decision cuz they knew that he was even paying who…s and things like that..after 6 months she met me and she told me all the story after awhile i met her family,kids,sister,brother,mother father,they appreciated me so much and use to tell me than God she found you to live in peace now..We were so happy,she had smile on her face from one end to another,we enjoyed life every day in everything,even her kids accepted me and my kids also accepted her,she met my family too.She use to tell me after a year and something she cares about me but she doesent love me enough…i heard that..but things were still good….she wanted to leave me after 2 years but we did stay together..something happen that i can understand ..we been another year and half..till this January and she left me over the night after sleeping in the same bed..when i left for work..i did notice something is going on..she refused to have sex,she just hugged me during the night..i did speak to her last 2 weeks,it was off and on..she told me i dont love you enough..even i changed my life style,even job,to get more time together,to travel..Now she is back to her ex husband,all the familly from her side not talking to her at all…for now..they done respect her anymore..after what she was saying to every one in the family and friends about him she got back now to that person..cant respect that right..she says HE deserve another chance..they left each other in 23 years of marriage so many times they dont even know the numbers..life was fake all the time in their marriage..everyone was happy when she was with me her especially with smile all day long..her family said thanks God she found you..Alex…thats my name.still her family invite me for a coffee and to see how i am doing..they dont even want to see her..I want her back..yes..must be idiot myself..but i do..i have a feeling in my guts that i should get her back..get her back on the tracks..maybe she just feel that easy life that she had,money,going outs,spending money..less work…she just was afarid of new begging and starting things from zero..Pls advice

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Aleksander! It’s still important to put the “no contact” rule into priority because if you’ve been in touch after the breakup too soon, then you BOTH aren’t taking the time to process the breakup and been acting like it hadn’t happened. Burying the problems which had caused the breakup in the first place is the first step towards a doomed relationship. Make sense now? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis.

      Reply
  8. Savitha
    Savitha says:

    My boyfriend dumped me in last September saying let’s be just friends , I didn’t agree and told him I wil remain as lover . But he had stopped connecting me . Totally no contacts and blocked me in any social sites like WhatsApp n gchats. It’s been more than 6 months and my attempts to text and call him are in vain because he doesnt bother to reply and even if he did once or twice in December ,Jan , they were very rude and insulting.p lease help me how to proceed.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Savitha! Getting an ex back is a gradual process, so there’s no one-action solution for everything. Okay? It helps to let your ex know you’ve accepted the breakup instead of insisting you remain as his lover — which will only make you appear desperate. The “no contact” phase is a good start, so do that first if you haven’t yet. If you have. then I’m glad you’ve completed it. There are two more phases to go with a few other steps in between. What I’m trying to say here is it’s a 3-phase process, and it’s a bit complicated to explain it all on here, but I made an overview in the hopes of making people understand, so watch it here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) or read my guide for the entire process. Good luck!

      Reply
  9. Ratu
    Ratu says:

    Me and my ex just broke up a month ago. He dumped me because he wants to be single around this time. I didn’t contact him for a month, and he called me if he miss me and miss my voice, after that we agree to become friends. But I’m just confused, is he wants us to be together again or not. I still love him and I want to go back together with him.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. It sounds like he’s making up excuses to break up. It’s a bad idea to be friends. The boundaries won’t be clear and you’re technically both free to date other people. Wouldn’t it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you’re only “friends” now, don’t you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch this video so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”) but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  10. James Marchese
    James Marchese says:

    I ordered your ex factor and I never did received what I had paid for. I have been checking my e-mail for three days now, and nothing. Can you help me??

    Reply
  11. Ms. Jaye
    Ms. Jaye says:

    Me n my ex were best friends for 14 yrs….he broke up with me but still wants to maintain the friendship we built on which is what we recognize as our ‘foundational relationship’….we agreed b4 going into a romantic relationship not to allow anything within the romance destroy the friendship. I am following ur 30day no contact plan and he is reaching out more where I have fallen BC from reaching out at all. At the most i respond to him whenever I get a chance or mk the time to. He thinks im dating and he has expressed that he is seeing someone as well but says he unable to be sexually gratifying Cuz its not me. What’s the most effective move I could mk that will convince him for certain that i am who he needs? But not just sexually….

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! You ought to let him know what it’s like not to have you in his life first. The line’s been crossed so there has to be enough time to process what has happened and being friends isn’t such a good idea if you want this guy back. The boundaries won’t be clear and you’re technically both free to date other people. Wouldn’t it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you’re only “friends” now, don’t you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch this video so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”)
      but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  12. Pieter
    Pieter says:

    Hi Brad, I have agreed to stay friends with my ex for a number of reasons. First of all, me and my ex had known each other for 11 years before we got together. She has always been like my best female friend. Next to that, we are in the same class in school, so I thought it would be best if we would avoid any awkward contact and just remain friends. I still have feelings for her though and it is tough. Do you think this was the best decision in this case? What would you advice me to do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      I suggest to get out of the friendzone first. I understand that you’ve been friends for so long, but once the line is crossed to where you actually had a romantic relationship with her, then there’s hardly any going back. And no, staying friends in the hopes of her waking up one day and decide it’s time to give your relationship another try is a shot in the dark — which usually leads to the opposite. So if you want this girl back, get out of the friendzone first and let her miss you, all right? Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”)
      and Escaping Your Ex Girlfriend’s “Friendzone”
      but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  13. Rais
    Rais says:

    Brad, what do you do if you had the 30 day nc, now you contacted, he said he has a gf now, and did I still wanted him to come over to get his christmas presents?. I texted back and reversed the question “lol-Do you want to see me?” He came over after you told him via text that you knew that relationship was dead. He got his presents sat with me talked for about an hour. I took out the scrapbook (took out all kissing pic’s etc. left family and some of me) that I had made before he broke up with me out of his package just after he opened it and stated that it would not be appropriate to give to him now, he insisted to see – so I let him. I also stated that it would not be good to keep it because of his new (which he was seeing before he broke up with me) GF and then he wanted to keep it. He said something along the line of “she will just have to get over it”. Now when he left he gave me a few hugs. Should I not think too much into this?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      I think he could just be rebounding. At this point, I suggest to take this time off to try and see the issue/s that plagued your relationship which eventually lead to the breakup. And the roles you BOTH played in it as well. Was it an issue with communication? Men often leave relationships because they don’t feel respected and/or appreciated. Was this the case? I absolutely have no clue what went down in your relationship, so I’m afraid I can’t give any solid advice. If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  14. Rose
    Rose says:

    Hi Brad, What happen If you and the ex-boyfriend work fro the same company and have to see each other from time to time and work together and speak pertaining to work how can I handle that situation and avoid. I broke up with the individual about a month in a half. I asked about commitment being that we dated for almost a year and when the question was asked he stated that he was not ready and I deserve better so we ended. I’m still in love with this guy and trying to move forward but is hard when I still have to communicate due to work. I heard he started seeing someone else after two weeks after we ended and I was hurt. At work I feel like he gives mixed signal but also I cant hold my composure either and give in. I will like to be together again but not sure if I should. What should I do.

    Reply
  15. Zac
    Zac says:

    Hi Brad,

    My ex said exactly the same thing along the lines… “but we’re still friends right”? and smiley face 😂

    This is within few hours ago and I gave the ultimatum to break up just about a day ago. I’m supposed to go into stealth mode – NC for 30 days.

    My question is, should I reply to my ex like how you suggested ” I don’t think it’s a good idea… etc” OR should I just keep quiet and executed NC – 30 days?

    Please help shed some light! I need your opinion.

    Thank you

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Just let your action (or inaction) speak, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. Watch one of my latest posts here: How to Make Your Ex Obsess Over You (New for 2017!) In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, at http://www.breakupbrad.com Good luck!

      Reply
  16. Maria Ann Villani
    Maria Ann Villani says:

    Hi Brad, My boyfriend broke up with me 20 Dec. 2016. He told me that I know you love me but I don’t love you. I’m sorry. Mind you he said he loved me plenty of times. We got along great and never argued. He said that he loves me but in many different ways. And I really care about you and don’t want to lose you. Please be my friend. My best friend. I said you don’t need me as your best friend. You have enough. Well most of the time the ones you think are your best friends aren’t. So I agreed. Of course I did the begging and pleading to no avail. He called me everyday from the day he broke up with me. 3 times. 1 hour 2 minutes, 1 hour 26 minutes and 55 minutes. Then 2-8 times a day until 13 Jan. 2017. He called me 6 times that day. He was going up to Maine to work with his and he you have a good rest of your day I’ll talk to you next week. Well he never called. I don’t know if he took me out of phone or just not bothering. I did see him twice at a friends. 1st time for maybe 3 minutes and he didn’t want to be bothered. Then 2 days later saw him again for about an hour. He was so nice and actually initiated talking to me. Now he lives in another town and I don’t call him. Even when he broke up with me he said I can call him anytime we’re friends. So I’ve been doing the no contact calling him wise. But I just recently found out about your program being friends. I really enjoyed hearing his voice every time he called. But I was really suffering. I lost 20 lbs. in a month. He looks really good. This doesn’t seem to be bothering him a bit. And I just want the Love of my Life back. 💔 Oh and our friend just told me today is that he might have a job down the street as a dispatcher. Which means I’ll see him more often. One friend said he doesn’t deserve you and another said I can’t believe he left you. You were the best thing that ever happened to him. He just don’t want to be bothered with nothing. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I said yeah me either but I still Love him. He’s my Baby, still. Please help. Do I have a chance?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup. At this point, it’s probably a very bad idea to be keeping in touch. Give it time first while you really give more time to yourself to heal, okay? Get yourself together first so to speak. I suggest you stay busy with a lot of stuff like hobbies, work, etc. focus on what makes you feel good and take time to heal as well. If you do happen to see him, watch this to help guide you: How To Act Around Your Ex (6 Tips For Handling Post-Breakup Encounters). Also read my Ex Factor Guide, which covers commonly possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Take care!

      Reply
  17. Laura
    Laura says:

    Hi Brad. I still find myself missing the person that claimed to love me. He did suggest staying friends with me but I don’t want friendship with him and he also said “frienddhip is all I can offer”. At first when he suggested for us to stay friends I sonewhat agreed and then when I remembered how much that would hurt I cut off contact with him and have been avoiding him at work.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You did the right thing. It’s a bad idea to be friends anyway. The boundaries won’t be clear and you’re technically both free to date other people. Wouldn’t it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you’re only “friends” now, don’t you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap: Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”) but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  18. Jayesh Narayan Nanda
    Jayesh Narayan Nanda says:

    Hi brad i was in relationship with my gf from last 10 years but we use to fight due to not giving time n some family issue of her side no w suddenly due to my frustation i fight with her n she decided not to continue now we cant happy more in future this that n she is not in contact with me now i dint contact her 7 days after that i just txt normal msg she rly also normaly i dnt know now how to be back in with her same love before we were infact she was much excited for marriage plz suggest me ..

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Jayesh! Getting an ex back is a gradual process, so there’s no one-action solution for everything. Okay? The “no contact” phase is a good start, so do that first if you haven’t yet. If you have. then I’m glad you’ve completed it. There are two more phases to go with a few other steps in between. What I’m trying to say here is it’s a 3-phase process, and it’s a bit complicated to explain it all on here, but I made an overview in the hopes of making people understand, so watch it here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) or read my guide for the entire process. Good luck!

      Reply
  19. Aarya
    Aarya says:

    Hi Brad me n my bf broke up this month n it’s been pretty tough for me he refusing to talk to me n everything I really love him n want him back I tried no contact but his girl best friend interfered n he ended up blocking me in every way possible I don’t know what to do it’s been so frustrating … Somehow I managed to txt him he said it’s over n hence I blocked u … Plz plz plz help me

    Reply
  20. Grace
    Grace says:

    Hi Brad, I and my bf broke up two months ago I left him because of his behaviours and I didnt any communication with him like you said ” no communication period ” I used it without knowing. My sister advised me and I just did it. Anyway, I deleted his number and everything but I still love him and I learned he started to date with a girl just after 5 days when we broke up I didnt date anyone else I suffered alot one week ago he messaged me and he wanted to see me we didnt meet but yesterday again he messaged me and suggested to go to a gym that he went. I was mentioning about gym to him while dating . What should I do ? I love him and still want him but I afraid if I lose him . Should I go to the gym ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey there, Grace! Sorry to hear that. Quite frankly, if you left him because of his behaviour, then you ought to realize first that it’s not likely going to change. So think really carefully before taking steps to get him back. As you’d likely breakup with him for the exact same reasons. Would you really want that type of relationship? Watch this first: Is Your Ex the Right Person For You? Take your time in deciding. Good luck!

      Reply
  21. chris
    chris says:

    hi brad. me and my ex wife have been friends for 3 months after she broke up with me. We have 2 kids also. the problem is she was told by her sister about the no contact rule and she texted me about it. Is my cover blown?. Will this still work?. Im forced to answer if she talks about our kids. she knows that im trying to ignore her. any tips on what should i do nex?

    Reply
  22. Mark
    Mark says:

    Hey Brad,

    My ex and I broke up almost three months ago. We had dated for nearly two years and we’re both 22. I did all the mistakes begging and pleading but she cut me off completely. She loved me so much in the relationship and I took her for granted and she found out I wasn’t texting another girl last year which I regretted and hadn’t done since. I broke up with her here months a go because she kept bringing the other girl up and I wanted to bury that in the past.

    I called her after 2 week of NC today and just caught up with what was going on with her life. Any insights on how I can get her back. She really was in love with me and would write love letters to me trrpihhout the relationship but I was distant and took her for granted.

    Much appreciated

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Mark! Sorry to hear that. “I broke up with her here months a go because she kept bringing the other girl up and I wanted to bury that in the past.” — so in other words, you’ve let emotions/anger get the best of you? That’s never ideal. That would’ve made her feel misunderstood since you’ve been texting another girl while still in a relationship with her, so she’d naturally get jealous, man. When girls get jealous, they don’t tend to let go of stuff easily, especially one where there’s proof that you’ve been texting. You ought to be more patient. Anyway since you broke up with her, read this free article about the topic: What to Do If You Broke Up With Your Ex… and Totally Regret it. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play, then guide you accordingly on a regular ongoing basis.Good luck!

      Reply
  23. jeanne
    jeanne says:

    Hi Brad, my man and I were together 5 years. We broke up a few times but love each other so much we kept getting back together. I wanted to just live together and didn’t want to marry, my kids needed help, etc, so we had conflicts, but never doubted our love. This last breakup was hard on both of us and we really suffered, but now he is with someone else and practically living with her. I can’t move on that easily. I know he loves me….still tells friends I was ‘the one’ .can this be undone?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Jeanne! Read this free article first to know what to expect: Things You Must Learn If You’re in an On-and-Off Relationship. You mentioned that you didn’t want to marry, but is your ex looking to do that, one day? If so, then there might be a huge disconnect there and would need to settle your differences, if you do get back together again. For now I suggest to leave him be since he’s likely rebounding. All right? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  24. Peter Le
    Peter Le says:

    Hey brad, I honestly need some insight on where i stand. At this point, i have no idea. so my gf of 2.5 years broke up with my last sept about 9 days after my bday (aug 30th) where she thought i cheated on her and 3 months after she got a job as a flight attendant. I made fatal mistakes by begging and pleading pretty much and continued to talk to her. We hung out once in late sept and another in round oct 14. I gave her 3 letters in nov, 2 early nov and 1 nov 29 with an early bday present. 2-3 days later we got into a huge arguement because i sent her angry drunk msgs and for stalking and what not. She blocked me on social media and now deleted my number. I grabbed your program a day or 2 after and pretty much didnt contact her untill things cooled down then i sent her a bday msg ” Hey, Happy birthday! I know this is random but I want to sincerely apologies for my behaviour towards you the past multiple weeks especially if I raised any concerns for your safety. I hope we could be friends though, down the road. Anyways, have a wonderful birthday wherever you are! Lucky for you, you will always be younger than me! Anyways, I hope all is well, crystal! 😊
    Ps. Hope you liked the tea I got you!”
    She replied with a “thanks”… havent reached out since. Im gonna leave her be for about 2 months before i say anything to her.
    I just want to know if its even possible at this point… Thank you.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Peter! Depending on the damage done, it may or may not be too late…but don’t make the same mistakes! Most people are guilty of this at some point. So if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  25. Adrian
    Adrian says:

    Hey Brad. My gf broke up with me 8 months ago because she said she needs to love herself first before letting another person love her and that she was freaking out on dating again. I begged and pleaded and obviously it didn’t work. We agreed on being friends but I only agreed cause I was waiting for her to be ready and she didn’t wanted me to because she said she needed to love herself first. I tried to work it out and set her as my priority but she always gave me the hot n cold treatment till the conversation died after 7 months. After waiting a few weeks, I found out that she was dating someone new. I asked her about it and wished that their relationship would work out. I didn’t contacted her after that day and posted nothing on social media. Is there anything I can do to win her back?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      It’s a bad idea to be friends. The boundaries won’t be clear and you’re technically both free to date other people. Wouldn’t it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you’re only “friends” now, don’t you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively (follow the principles), at Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”) and Escaping Your Ex Girlfriend’s “Friendzone” but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  26. Gill
    Gill says:

    Hi Brad, It’s 7 months now since my ex broke up with me and I am desperate to get him back.
    I went through the no contact rule and tried to cut him out of my life completely, but nothing worked.
    While I make all the contact he always replies and wants to meet up etc.
    Last week after a few drinks we ended up sleeping together and now back to the silent treatment. He is stubborn and won’t contact me.
    I feel like his guard is up and he is frightened of something as when we are together it feels so right.
    We were together for just over a year and never argued. No one cheated.
    Is it time to move on, buy your program or benefit from your personal coaching.

    Reply
  27. Corey
    Corey says:

    Hey, Brad. My gf of 6 months broke off the relationship, because, she doesn’t love herself, and isn’t ready for a relationship. She wants to focus on herself, career, and her child. Us three were really close. She still wants to be in eachothers lives on some level, though I never said I wanted to be just friends. She blocked me on fb. I initated the no contact and plan to see that through. After that, what should I do? And what if she contacts me during NC?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Corey! All your questions should be addressed if you take the time to read the Ex Factor Guide. But for starters, your ex blocking you is most likely just your ex’s way of coping. More about that on here: What to Do If Your Ex Blocks You on Facebook? Anyway social media should be the least of your concerns. Focus on all three phases and your ex may naturally unblock you, in time, as you learn to rebuild that attraction and re-attract this ex back to your life. Now if your ex continues to message you, then it’s important to put your ex’s messages into context, especially if this happened during the “no contact” phase. Is your ex trying to contact you about something really important, like an emergency, unpaid bills, or something equally urgent? If not, and your ex is really just texting some useless random stuff and/or asses his/her power over you, then you can just ignore and continue on with the 30-day “no contact” rule. Use your discretion. Watch and follow the tips here: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts and Phone Calls (And Win Them Back)

      However,iIf you need my help further on this despite all these tips, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the various factors at play including your overall relationship history, issue/s, among many other elements, and to find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

      Reply
  28. zack
    zack says:

    Hi Brad,
    Me & my Gf were in 3 yrs of relationship we were very close (2yrs ldr) she broke up with me 3 weeks ago saying spark in our relationship has ended, I was trying to follow your no contact rule but could not resist and broke up the rule calling her and asking her reasons why she broke and and asked her to come back. She said no to me, was kind of ignoring me and said we should not contact each other and it should be our last talk, It was feeling like she is looking someone else.. she deleted all over pics blocked me and now has even deleted my number. Please help me out as I have messed up the situation, suggest me what to do now….

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Zack! Sorry to hear about the breakup. She may have ended up blocking you because you wouldn’t stop bothering her. Take that as your cue to back off and show her that you respect her choice by cutting off communication for 30 days or more, all right? Watch this, too: How to NOT Win Your Ex Back. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  29. Danno
    Danno says:

    Hi brad my wife and I have a baby together we have separated she’s seeing someone else but wants to remain friends although she hasn’t said it directly. Should I uses this as a way to remove negative feelings towards me and reinforce positive ones

    Reply
  30. Aviv
    Aviv says:

    Hi brad,
    I left pushed my girlfriend away after i was involved in a cheating situation, i love her, that was June 2016 she kept fighting for me until august then she started dating a friend of hers and by November 2016 i went back for her, she says she will never love another like she did me but she has decided to bury our love, she is a devoted christian and she says she can’t leave him because she made a promise and the guy likes him so much she feels safe with him. i have apologies and through all this time we have been close and friends, we work together, we own a business together and even travel together for business. she says she would like us to be friends.

    Do i have a chance with her? some people say if i stay away from her she will be closer to him and think i didn’t mean to be with her.

    am confused .

    Reply
  31. Johnny Alger
    Johnny Alger says:

    Hi Brad. Me and my wife separated the weekend before thanks giving. I didnt want it but after our argument she said she was done. Well only 1 week later she starts talking with someone else and ignoring me all together! Ive pleaded and tried reminding her of all our good times so she wouldn’t focuse on the past! My heart is torn and i dont want to lose her! I want to fix my marriage but she wont respond to anything. What do i do. Im lost

    Reply
  32. Anto
    Anto says:

    Hi brad,
    My gf brokeup with me n its been one month now, she was crazy on me from first sight and we were deeply in relationship for 1 n half month hanging out,daily chats, suddenly one fine morning she said she’s not interested in any relationship with me, am still not able to come out of the shock.we work in same office n meet each other often but both us ignore each other.since break up, i started no contact then next week she called n and expressed she missed me n wanted to be friends i was so happy then following weekday i asked her for meeting in office, she came n again acted rude n said no more relationship,one in a week i msg her ,then she’s replying very formal.if i dont come to office r change my whats up status she is interested to know what am upto whom i dating with.but the big mistake i made was yesterday.i msged asking to come for shopping hoping she will come but she hurted me saying,i dint change,hold self-respect, shameless etc ,not interested any stuffs whatsoever and never try to fake . Am totally shattered. could you pls help me brad.what should i do now.

    Reply
  33. Akhri
    Akhri says:

    Hie brad!
    My bf broke up with me around 2-3 months ago and since then we were friends. He asked me to b friends and i agreed. Bt later he was very rude towards me and didnt even wanted to meet at all. So i decided to follow no contact rule. Bt he texts me almost every alternate day. If i dont reply to him it will come to his ego. So what should i do? I dont wanna worsen the situation further.
    Please help me brad i want to b with him once again!
    Thank you..

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Cut off contact COMPLETELY first, for at least 30 days. You see, the thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch. Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You. Good luck!

      Reply
  34. Pranay Agrawal
    Pranay Agrawal says:

    Hey brad….i m pranay..n my gf broke up wid me a week ago..saying she need some time alone…we were in a 3 year relationship…although she says we r good friends…n she hangouts wid me at weekends still ….i dont knw what to do..coz it kills me jst being her friend…bt i also flirt with her like her bf n she give it full acceptance giving me a sign tht she still loves me n want me…bt she denies whn i ask to come bck in relation …what should i do ?? Plzzz help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Pranay, sorry to hear about the breakup. It’s a bad idea to be friends. The boundaries won’t be clear and you’re technically both free to date other people. Wouldn’t it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you’re only “friends” now, don’t you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively (follow the principles), at “Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The “Friend Zone”)” and “Escaping Your Ex Girlfriend’s “Friendzone” but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

      Reply
  35. Jul
    Jul says:

    Hi Brad, thank you for your work. I am a widow. My case is a little twisted. I met my ex 12yrs ago (2004), I met my dead husband 3 weeks before I meeting my ex. I liked him more than my dead spouse so we started long distance relationship. While my dead spouse kept asking me out and trying to be there for me more knowing that my relationship with my ex is long distance while I live in the same city with my dead spouse. This affected our long distance relationship, so I left him and marry my dead spouse(2008), but just after my wedding I got an anonymous facebook friend request which I accepted thinking is an old friend not knowing it was him. We remained facebook friends without commenting on each other’s page or sending messages. After 4years(2012), I was widowed and then I received a facebook message from this facebook friend sympathizing with me for my loss, we chatted a little and I found out it was him with a fictitious name. We kept in contact,speaking once in a while. After 2year (2014), we started talking more intimately and he visited me from the U.K. to Italy for 3 days, during the visit he made sexual moves but I refused because I want to be celibate. But he doesn’t believe it, instead he said it’s because of my dead spouse that I am still into him, pointing out how I wear my dead spouse t.shirt and wristwatch. He kind of became distance after that. And gives me attitude, we never fought while we are dating but we fight at every chance now. We haven’t spoken for four months now and I miss him.I deeply regret the reason for our break up. Can we possibly get back together?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      I think he’s more upset of the fact that you’ve denied him sex, than anything else. Celibacy isn’t a bad thing. I have nothing against it whatsoever… but it does matter a lot if your partner of choice doesn’t share the same view as you when it comes to sex. Have you tried telling him your reasons to be celibate? After all, sex is an integral part of a relationship as it helps to bring you two closer together and unless you both want to be celibate, there is a huge incompatibility there. You’re right though, this is quite q unique situation, so consider signing up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  36. Olivia
    Olivia says:

    Hi Brad!
    Here’s a part of my story. My bf broke up with me 1,5 months ago, after 3 weeks of having a break of of our relationship, and it was all quite shocking for me. We’re not from the same place and I study in his town, so we’ve seen each other only twice during the summer holidays. Since he had 2 gfs before me, he told me all of a sudden he needs space and doesn’t want to be in a relationship and that it’s all so hard for him (I’ve never seen him cry so much). However, during our break and still today, he’s seeing this one girl and chatting with her, although he told me he doesn’t like her physically and that she’s not his type, but he thinks she’s a cool person to be around with. After we broke up, I never initiated the conversation, he did though, and sent me some messages few times a week, and after some time I started ignoring his messages.
    We’re in the same class so we can’t completely avoid each other and we occasionally talk, and it’s very difficult for me. I still kinda want him back, but the other day I told him that I don’t really trust him anymore and can’t be friends for some time and asked him not to text me for a while, because I need to heal and think some more. He is also going on a weekend trip with some common friends of him and that girl (they’re both going as well), and that makes me jealous and unhappy. Since the break up he told me many times that he’s still unsure whether he made the right decision and that he’ll maybe regret it one day. He said he sometimes thinks how things would be if we were still together, he reads our old messages, etc. One day I hate him, other days I want him back so much because everything was fine from my side …
    Please give me some advice, Brad! Thank you!

    Reply
  37. Anon
    Anon says:

    Hello Brad,
    I have a lot of questions to ask you but I know you can answer my questions if I told you my story first.
    I was dating another person in a different country and we both met online. I fallen in love for this person and I was insecured. Troubled, I intitated the breakup. We only dated for a couple month. I admitted to acted a bit desperately afterwards then asked, “What are we now”? My ex responded with, “Friends”. I didn’t push it any further and I honestly felt like I don’t want to be a friend. After that, I applied a 45 days No Contact Rule. I was focusing on myself and hang out with my friends. I feel ready and I decided not to live in the past. While we were dating, I felt insecure because my other was flirting with other people and people around me don’t give good advice. Mostly like “…you shouldn’t date that person” and “…Lol. Wow. It won’t work out”. Honestly, I shouldn’t focus what others thought of me and my relationship back then. I accepted my part and let go of the feelings occuring that time of the breakup. I thought of saying, “Now, I just thought about it. I don’t want to be your friend. But I hope all is well.” Something along the line. I know what to do and there’s something prevents me do the action. Texting my ex back. My mind always overthink and it took a lot of my energy, sometimes it will lead to the negative “what ifs”. I wanted a bit of guidance. A guidance on how to stop thinking the “what ifs” and how to make something irrestible in a form of text so they will respond back to. I had read all of the emails you had sent me and I got the idea but it is only half bake. Mainly, I watched the videos and read your articles (had a problem with the orderings in the past). Please help me with your best abilities.

    I wanted to remain as Anon if that is okay with you. If not, you may call me April.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi April! Sorry to hear about the breakup. You’re right, being friends isn’t a good idea. What you ought to realize is that you’re stuck in an endless loop. This can be easily resolved if you cut off contact, which will minimize if not totally omit your overthinking behaviour. 🙂 If you focus on yourself mainly, you’ll naturally feel better. The only one who’s in control of your emotions if you, so take charge! You can do it… it only seems like you can’t at first. Cutting off contact basically helps you regain your power. So again, employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. Watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, at http://www.breakupbrad.com Take care!

      Reply
  38. Lammy
    Lammy says:

    Hello Brad..

    I’ve been watching your videos for some days now after things went downhill with my boyfriend. We work in the same organisation and have been dating for over a year before I realized he was seeing another girl at our workplace. I confronted him with the knowledge I had and that’s how things got bad. He denied, said she was just a friend and went further to accuse me of spreading the story about them both at work. I tried to tell him I didn’t spread any story, he’s adamant and refuses to listen and has been really cold and distant. I started the no contact rule, finished in 21 days so I texted him on my dad’s birthday. He responded well, said happy birthday to my dad. I went silent for about 5 more days when he texted me out of the blues to give me an ultimatum; we could only get back together if I told him the names of those gossiping about him and the girl he was cheating with. We’re supposed to meet in person next week and I really don”t know what to do. What do I tell him when I see him? Please help!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Lammy, sorry to hear you’re going through this. Being cheated on is not an easy feeling to deal with. He’s likely projecting his guilt towards you, hence he’s switching the story around — or not. Also try to be as objective as possible in this case. I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ask more sensitive questions regarding the situation though, in order for me to give a more solid advice. This determines how you’re supposed to handle things but in general, it’s best to play it safe and NOT deal with each other first, for at least a few weeks. Anyway how have you found out about his cheating and did you have solid evidence of it? Consider signing up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Okay? Hopefully talk to you soon!

      Reply
  39. Danielle
    Danielle says:

    Hi Brad!
    My ex and I broke up exactly 13 days ago after we had gotten into a little political tiff(I said some pretty harsh stuff but nothing mean towards him). The split was mutual at first and then I realized it’s not what I wanted. We talked once or twice right after the break up and then a little over a week after we saw each other because I had quite a bit of his personal belongings. I met him at a mutual friends house and he invited me in, I started getting my hopes up because he didn’t just ask for his stuff. We all hung out for about 3 hours. As we were leaving we stood outside and started to talk about the breakup, he said he doesn’t think we belong together and we have different views and ideas. He told me he’s been unhappy for a little while and started to have doubts about our future together. I asked him if he was still in love with me and he said “no”. He said he couldn’t picture us getting married anymore. He apologized multiple times and said I was special and I was the best girlfriend he’s ever had. We hugged a few times and he said he does want to be friends and then we went our separate ways. I haven’t spoken to him since that night 4 days ago. I don’t know whether I believe everything he said but why would he tell me he’s not in love with me if he still is? He never showed any signs of discontent and we were getting ready for a trip to Disneyland right before the breakup. I’m a mess and at a complete loss here.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey, Danielle! Sorry to hear about the breakup. A breakup is rarely ever mutual. What was so bad that you BOTH had to end it? I understand things may be awfully confusing for you right now, and this is exactly why you ought to take a step back and reach some level of clarity, all right? Don’t rush this and be sure to take some time off first, so cut off contact for a month or more. It’s not a good idea to be friends with him anyway, as it’ll only add up to more confusion — which you don’t need right now. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  40. Joe
    Joe says:

    Brad just want to thank you for all of this and tell you I respect what you do and you are apriecated…. So I was living with my ex for about 5 years, the first year she moved from her hometown to be with me in mine, at the time she was only 22 and her family did not approve but she still moved in with me and left her hometown.. 1 year later we moved to her hometown and I left my whole family and friends to make her happy and so she can finish school there.. We lived there for the last 4 years and we have been very happy and great but her mom never forgave me till this day for taking her daughter away that first year even thou I brought her back….which means I wasn’t invited for holidays and I was treated horrible by her.. I’m sure me not being a doctor or something great career wise was also an issue but still didn’t make it right..I supported us and gave her et she wanted for the past 5 years ..She did et she could to ruin us and it worked. About 4 months ago I proposed to my ex and she said yes and we were planing a wedding for 2 months, looking at wedding venues making wedding lists figuring out et….but at the same time her family never congratulated her and made her very upset so she didn’t speak to them for those 2 months. Btw I did the right thing and asked her dad for his blessing and he said yes because he new how much we loved each other. Anyways after those 2 months of her not speaking to her family she started getting very depressed and one day broke down and basically told me she can’t do it anymore.. She tried to talk to her mom but there’s no talking to her it’s her way or the highway… So she basically chose her family over me and broke up with me.. I loved her more than anyone in the world and she knew that but still did the unthinkable.. So I moved back to my hometown and didn’t talk to her for about a month, after a month of no contact she called me crying one night saying how much she misses me and loves me and how sorry she was and how I didn’t deserve this.. But still saying her mom will never change and it will never b a peaceful life if we were together.. After that call we talked for about 3 weeks on and off then one day I received a message saying she was gunna take one for the team and we can’t talk anymore cause it’s only making it harder for me to move on. So I said ok didn’t contact her for 2 weeks…then she reaches out again just asking how I am doing an hope I’m doing well so ofcourse I respond and we start talking again for a week.. It’s nice talking with her but it’s not about fixing us its just basically us being friends which I won’t have.. So the last time we talked I told her I don’t have any interest in being your friend I don’t mind u reaching out to me if u think we have a future together but if not please don’t contact me.. It’s been almost a week and we haven’t been speaking which hurts but it’s what needs to be done. As u said she needs to start missing me and me being friends with her is not going to help me get her back.. The worst part about the whole thing is if her family just said congrats and there coming to the wedding I know we would still be together… I been talking to other girls here n there but I honestly feel I will never love anyone as much as I love her. I don’t know what to do anymore please help me.. It’s been a little over 2 months now that we are broken up and I hate my life without her she was my world! My everything!!! She knows that what we had was as real as it is ever going to get and she also knows know will ever love her and sacrifice the things I have to give et she wants.. I’m not saying this cause I think this how she feels. She wrote this in a diary that I got my hands on.. Thanks brad looking forward to your response.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi, Joe! I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  41. Nana
    Nana says:

    Hello Brad…
    My Ex doesn’t text me or even flashed me for the past one month now we broke up….. it was her idea to brake up with me.. and i really want her back. I deployed your No Contact Strategy after one month of our breakup…. just one week in the No contact Period I sent her a big interest message which reads:”Hey, Just heard that( a gospel musician) is coming to town… Just remembered how much you love her programs…. Hope everything is going well”?…..I got this reply from her in an hours time” Hi… Oh ok.. is good to hear.. but you know I can’t make it because of my busy schedule… I hope you will be able to?….Am doing well.. how about you?…I gave her this reply after 2hours to her after two hours of receiving her reply…. This was my reply….” I know right.. May be I will. Am doing great. Thank you”…Before deploying the No contact Strategy, I met up with her and she told me we should be friends. I didn’t say Yes or No to her request.Brad what does her actions means? and what is she up to in her mind? will be able to get her back? This breakup is driving me crazy..

    Help me brad…..

    Best Regards.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Nana! Since you’ve broke the “no contact” rule one week in, be sure to reset it to where you’re actually cutting off contact for at least a month, okay? So really, for starters, your best bet is still to cut off contact and yes, it will work in a sense to where you get to clear your mind to be in a better position to deal with an ex when the time comes — instead of letting emotions overrule everything, risking things to get blown out of proportion even further. Make sense? But will no contact ALONE work to get your ex back? In some cases it may, but oftentimes not, because the no contact phase is only part one of the three-step process I teach in my Ex Factor Guide. Learn the basics here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) I also made a quick vid to those who are seemingly lost and could use a reminder on what to do: Want Your Ex Back? Stop Thinking About Them! (Psychological Warfare). Good luck!

      Reply
  42. Danielle cummins
    Danielle cummins says:

    Hey brad,
    My ex and i broke up a year ago we have a child together and he left me fo another woman. But he told me the reason he cant get back with me is because he now has a criminal record because of me where we argue so much the cops was called. We was in a relationship for four years and when he left me and got with this other girl i filped and they broke up and since then me and him was messing around , but me not knowing it he was dating someone else and cheated on her with me and made me the other woman. He had cheated on me before. I know i guess im stupid vut i do love him and i do know somewhere deep down he loves me still. He said he cant be with me now but you never know what the future holds and we can be friends. I told him no it will hurt me too much and tried to do the no contact as much as i can with us having a child together. I since stop all sexual contact and been ignore him as much as i can. How can i get him back since he says he dont trust me cause i cause him to go to jail and he says he fell out of love with me

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Danielle. Sorry to hear that. If these “fights” were really as bad it seemed to be, then that’s where you ought to start looking. What are the roles that you BOTH played in it? Do one or both of you have anger issues? It might help to take some classes? You’re right to reject his offer for friendship. As for sex, if he continues to be persistent, watch and follow the tips here first: What to Do If Your Ex Wants Sex. Good luck!

      Reply
  43. Prince
    Prince says:

    Hey Brad, about 7 months ago my girlfriend broke up with me.But she told me to be just friends.And i had done all the major mistakes which u highly recommended not to do.She is now very happy. She told me that i was a mistake which she cannot repeat and she do not believe in second chances.She also told that my caste is different and her parents wont allow this relationship.Now she doesn’t even care about me.She is a very good girl and because of my overpossessiveness i lost her.
    I am really in a devastated condition.
    Please help me what should i do.
    How to make her fall in love again with me.
    Awaiting for your response.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! Sorry to hear about the breakup. Now I’m not sure why parents had to get involved. It’s either you’re both too young to date or it has something to do with culture. Either way, it’s best to consider moving on from this, okay? Understand that the choice is ultimately up to your ex on whether to fight for you or not despite the opposition going on. Good luck!

      Reply
  44. Tely
    Tely says:

    Hi I broke up with my ex week ago, and I can’t contact him ,bcx he blocked my number, I try to call him and text him with different number, but no answer,no reply back I guess he knew it was me texting him, what can I do to get in touch with him, what can I do to get him back, I miss him so bad, and want talk to him, please help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Telly. Sorry to hear about the breakup. Stop contacting him for around a month. These are the principles to get an ex back, familiarize yourself with all three basic phases to get an ex back: Step-by-Step Guide to Reversing a Breakup and Get an Ex Back and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential! Good luck!

      Reply
  45. Jillian
    Jillian says:

    Hello Brad!
    My boyfriend of 11 months and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. He is 23 and i am 22 years old.
    Everything was going really smoothly and it was great but he suddenly disappeared on me without giving me an explanation. i tried talking to him but he refused to give me a straight answer. It was as if he completely changed with me. I asked his friends about his behavior and they said he is normal and chilled out. I gave him space but frustrated, I texted him to at least clear everything out. That is when he gave me the break up speech saying that he is really sorry and his parents don’t approve of me and he discussed this matter with a friend and has decided to end this relationship because their decision is his priority. He also stated that he wants to be friends with me. At that time i was really confused as to what just happened and i was like okay i understand and i didn’t retaliate much and i agreed to the break up and friendship. We havent contacted each other since the break up. Both of us havent even blocked out the other on social media and I see him posting away on Facebook and Snapchat as to how much he is enjoying his life, etc and i am sitting here feeling torn and heart broken thinking if our time together meant anything to him at all. Last week I saw him in the coffee shop with his guy friends joking around and laughing. We both knew the other is present and yet both of us ignored the other.
    I dont know what all of this means. I know I love him still and everything was real for me but I cant help but wonder if I should want him back or not because there are times when i am okay and normal but other times i feel angry and hurt and think of getting him back. 2 weeks later his best friend is getting engaged and his fiance’ invited me and i dont know if I should go or not. Currently the no contact phase is going on since the break up. Please give your opinion my situation and please advise me on what I should do.
    Thanks you

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Jillian! Sorry to hear about the breakup. You aren’t likely gonna get the clarity you want in this situation, as it comes from within, so take time to look at your situation objectively and with a clear head, all right? One good way to do this is to employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, so make it a point NOT to skip this part. It should also help you decide on which path to take afterwards and avoid making hasty decisions. Watch this, too: The Number One Root Cause of All Breakups. Good luck!

      Reply
  46. Sonam
    Sonam says:

    Hi Brad,
    Last week my boyfriend of 8 months (5 months London distance ) wanted to end things. He said it is exhausting and unable to be emotionally available to me. However, says he still loves me and miss me. That time I was not in the right mind, due to work stress and his bringing that up was unexpected as we did not have any fights before. So I told him I needed some time and space to think about it and I would like him to think it over too. We have not contacted since then, until Sunday I was passing through a place and it reminded me of him…so I left a text about it but I did not say I love him or miss him as such. HE called me back we talked for few mins and I ended the call saying we ll talk further about our relationship only on the agreed date.
    HOW do I ask him to stay?
    I was wondering if it is a good idea if I told him I wanted a second chance for our relationship and that he could have the time and space to figure things out and yet be in this relation.
    He is a good boyfriend, always positive and encouraging, I don’t want to lose him without trying. Please help!

    Reply
  47. Anita lamichhane
    Anita lamichhane says:

    Hi brad,
    My boyfriend broke up with me. It’s about 5 month. I loved him alot and i does too. Due to the family and society issues he broke up with me. It’s has become 2years of our relationship.he said I don’t want to be in relation becoz or won’t get sucess we can’t get married later so it is better to leave it now. I tried every moment to talk now he didn’t listen to me . Even he didn’t talk to me. He talks rudely.Now what should I do to get him back? Is it possible to get him back forever.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Anita. Sorry to hear about the breakup. Can’t get married? How so? If the reason has something to do with culture,, it may be best to consider moving on from this, okay? Understand that the choice is ultimately up to your ex on whether to fight for you or not despite the opposition going on. Good luck!

      Reply
  48. Jakob
    Jakob says:

    Hey brad it’s been going on 3 weeks off my break up and no contact. She said she fell out of love and wanted everything to with me but not a label of a relationship pretty much. I was her first love and realized my wrong doing in the relationship after thinking about if we’re right for eachother. I realized how good things could’ve been and that it actually can work. When we broke up I confessed and apologized for my actions and said I don’t wanna be friends I still love you if you need anything call me and I left. I want to try to get her back soon. I’ve watched a good percent of your videos and been bettering myself durning this time, which I thank you for. If you could please give me some advice on how to get her attention to text me again or what I should say to her to start rekindling thing, please help, thanks again

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Jakob, sorry to hear about the breakup. She may not be ready for a serious relationship yet, so consider letting this one go, or at the very least, don’t bother her for a good while. Whatever the case may be, act responsibly yet try not to take things too seriously now since you may be in a period of growth and lots of changes, including preferences in attitude, personality, etc. Focus on your studies instead, all right? Take care!

      Reply
  49. Betsy
    Betsy says:

    Hi Brad,

    My boyfriend broke up with me after 7months…we were really in love and I really messed it up. When I was on my period I was super emotional, mean and threatened break ups a few times. He had enough. I am working on myself hardcore and know I have to change this pattern. We are a werk into no contact. Is there anything in your guide if you really messed up bad? Also, is it ok for him to see me on the same dating site?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Betsy, yes, it’s okay for him to see you on dating sites. For best results, however, it’s best to really focus all the work on yourself because the more happy you become, the more natural it’ll show. The goal is to show him you’re “thriving” with the breakup, so don’t beg, okay? And yes, if there was already some begging/pleading done in the beginning, you can still salvage it as long as you really play your cards right. Watch this, for starters: Begged & Pleaded With Your Ex Already? (How to Salvage Your Situation!). In the meantime, read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good luck!

      Reply
  50. pallab
    pallab says:

    Hey Brad it’s been 2 months she break up with me after that I begged and pleaded Nd after one month of break up I started the no contact method Nd one night she texted me and I hve done the same mistake that I flow out of emotions then after that I have again started the no contact now she has txted me again but I hve ignored the txt Nd I wished her birthday tonight . I think that now she is completely feeling less Nd she will never come back .

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Try to stick to the “no contact” rule this time. A situation with an ex is fragile, so you’d really want to omit, if not minimize these mistakes, okay? There are no unlimited chances with an ex, so if you can do it right moving forward, then do so. Check out my guide so you won’t end up making the same mistakes. But if you’d really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible.Good luck!

      Reply
  51. Justin
    Justin says:

    Have been dating my girl for the past two years then she had to travel to another country for work just for one year. Everything was beautiful before she left. After that things began to get ugly slowly. We argue a lot. Guess I became too needy. Suddenly she feels like it’s not working out and she’s not sure she wants to continue. She said “am confuse and am not sure if I want to be with you or leave you”. She suggests for a two months break and after which she will tell me if she wants to continue or not. And in the break she wants us to still communicate but as friends. What does this mean and what can I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Don’t be friends with her. The thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You Good luck!

      Reply
  52. Jimmy
    Jimmy says:

    Hi Brad,
    I have seen all of your videos and bought your book. She broke up with me because I didn’t listen enough to her and give her the ability to tell her stories. I told her it was the first I heard about it and wanted to fix the issues, but she still broke it off (though I know she’s not sure if this was the right decision, as she has other life issues she’s dealing with like job, money and injury, etc…). I caved after 4 days of no contact and did post rad things to my social media. We are big runners (our passion in life) so I texted her saying “my partner bailed and need a new running partner for this awesome trail, interested?” She wrote right back and told me she was interested but was injured (truth, but didn’t know how bad). She would go but just can’t. Thanks for the invite and hopefully I find another partner for the run. Well I didn’t respond and 30 min later she texted me back and said something I just don’t know how to interpret. She said “I guess I kinda expected some acknowledgment that I responded” I told her my phone was on silent and I missed her text and asked if it was still her knee issues. She then told me what was wrong and that was about it. What are your thoughts? Thanks!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Great! I’m glad you now have the tools to guide you on what to do. Now I know it’s difficult (and it’s a different challenge all on its own) but try to follow the guide down to a tee, all right? Read it many times over until you master it. As to your situation, really try do complete the 30-day rule first, man. A situation with an ex is fragile, so you’d really want to omit, if not minimize these mistakes, okay? There are no unlimited chances with an ex, so if you can do it right moving forward, then do so. Check out my guide so you won’t end up making the same mistakes. Take care!

      Reply
  53. Juan
    Juan says:

    Hey brad i broke up with my girlfriend a month ago, i tried to use the no contact method for alike 4 days but i couldnt make it i end up talking to her, she told me when want to be alone that she doesnt want anybody in her life for now. We broke up because i was jealous and i didnt give her space. We dated for 11 month and i fall deep inlove with this girl, we talked like friends even though thats not what i want. But everytime i talk to her about our past relationship she always gets angry and end up not talking to me. I have 2 weeks since i dont talk about our past relationship but i dont think thats going to change anything between us. Shes sure about her decision and thats what scares me the must that i cnt win her back. I tried by hitting her up in other person phone and shes willing to go out in dates with other guys. So i want to tell her that i dont want to be her friend because i love her so much but at the same time i dont want to stop talking to her. I need help to tell her that i dont want to be her friend because of my feelings

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup, Juan… however, try NOT to cut the “no contact” rule short, okay? Employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise. Good luck!

      Reply
  54. Jay
    Jay says:

    Hey Brad, thanks for the article. My girl and I have been apart about 2 months. 3 weeks ago she told me she missed me and we had a “let’s try to work it out” convo….a couple days later she tells me it’s not going to work and that she’s onto someone new. She hit me with a “let’s hangout as friends, it’ll never be more” about a week ago, I didn’t respond and have been in NC. How long do you suggest I stay in NC given her new relationship?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You’re welcome! Never agree to be just friends, man. Try to see the role that you BOTH played that led to the breakup though. Your ex may be rebounding, so be sure to play your cards right. Keep track of what you’ve been doing to see if it’s productive or not, as far as getting your ex back is concerned. Have you checked out my guide yet? It may be time to revamp your techniques. Before anything else though, take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting her back. Answer as honestly as possible. Good luck!

      Reply
  55. Emma
    Emma says:

    Hi,

    I came here looking for help and advice on how to get things back on track with my ex.

    We have been together for 15 year, married for 5 this October. He started to become very needy always wanted to be next to me, got jealous over everything! (Even me reading!) I went to Paris for w nights with a girlfriend and I rang him from the effilé tower, I was so excited and wanted him and oUR daughters to see where I was ect but he was so angry and bitter  (that had been going on for a while) when I got home he shouted at me and said the most horrible things, he didn’t want to see my photos or ask me anything but my daughter where really excited to hear. Two days later I was doing the dishes and he started shouting at me I just broke down and asked him to leave. He moved out got a place of his own we were going to start dating but things were worse I started drinking ALOT! I started smoking, I nearly lost my job and was in the middle of a break down. Yet he kept asking to spend time with me no matter how big or small (sometimes we ended up back in bed together other times a huge fight), I kept asking for space I needed to get my life back on track for me and the girls. Well he started to distance himself which gave me time to sort myself out, we started to take our girls out on day trips ect finally I had hope we could work it out! Then august 27th he told me he had to go away it was a year since he moved out…….I couldn’t understand his need to get away because I wanted to spend the weekend together as a family! Then he told me he was seeing a married woman and wanted to make it work with her 😔 first I was cool listened to him gave him adice ect but my Sunday I cracked we had a big argument whilst he was away I felt betrayed all the things he had said ect and he was seeing her! I finally told him how I felt, I had hope we could work it out, I didn’t want to throw 15 years away! I didn’t want to end our marriage. Well we slept together took the kids out ect but now I’ve turned into some needy crazy woman! I’ve sent him pics to say look what your missing, I’ve seduced him I’ve begged he spends the night, we fight because he doesn’t spend time with me. None of this is how I have ever acted before! All I can think of is how to get back the last few months! Also I know he is stringing both of us along as he doesn’t know how he feels, she is the opposite of me in every way! I’m fun stupid opinionated, some say glamorous I always take pride in how I look (he gets jealous when others look at me. She is sweet nice quite and very much a plan Janet (I’ve met her a few times over the years but honestly can not remember her! We have mutual friends who tell me how lovely she is. She has told him to do what’s right for him (but what they could have could be so special and beautiful, well that’s what he told me)

    Where as I’ve gone crazy ringing him stalking her. I sent her a message asking what’s going on between them as I can’t keep playing happy families and letting him on my bed if they want to be together and she didn’t reply she just blocked me.

    I hate this feeling and what I am becoming. 

    So I have gone everywhere looking for help or advice.

    Wow kinda felt good writing this.

    Much thanks
    Emma

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Emma, I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation as well. Thanks for your understanding! Take care!

      Reply
  56. Rocky
    Rocky says:

    Hi brad ,actually i have a question what does it mean if you are following the “no contact rule “and your x start putting guys picture on what’s app,last time i talk to her she told me to take over it and then i use the no contact rule and i notice that she start putting guys dp on her what’s app does it mean she’s trying to say something or a sign or make me jealous cuz its near one month I’m not contacting her and you really helped me by your video in many ways
    Thanks .

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      That could just be her way of coping or she’s trying to make you jealous. Either way, it’s not a good idea for you to overanalyze that kind of stuff. Any kind of thinking about what your ex does or says is a bad idea. Watch this, first: Are You Overanalyzing Your Ex’s Behaviour? It’s important to shift the focus away from your ex and back to you instead and in time, as you heal, dig deeper instead as to what has caused the breakup and the roles that you BOTH played in it, okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  57. Molly
    Molly says:

    Curious if you think your Ex Factor tactics will be successful in my situation. 14 year relationship living together. I didn’t see it coming. “I love you but not IN love with you.” I’d like to try the 30 day No Contact but it’s difficult because he’s slowly moving out. Coming once a week for more stuff. He wants the house out of his name, bills separated, etc. Has been willing to support financially for the time being. Suggestions??

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the breakup. Your ex is likely finding excuses to break up. Watch this first to help guide you: What Your Ex Meant By ‘It’s Me, Not You’ & Other Common Excuses. I suggest you to take a breather and don’t bother him at all. Use this time instead to try to objectively look at the situation and see what the real issue/s are in your relationship, as well as the role that you both played in it, okay? If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  58. Raashi
    Raashi says:

    Hey Brad! I’m Priyanka. Me and my ex were in a such an intimate relationship. We thought we could never lived without each other. It was so intense. Lately he lost all the feelings and love he used to have. He says he is feeling guilty because he is giving me hopes that he will be there with me till the end and marry me and all. In the starting or may be till a year, he was so sure that he is gonna stay with me for life and now he is doing this. He left to USA for higher studies this August. I was feeling bad because he won’t be here anymore but I dint expect to get a heartbreak like this. I asked him you would have told me in the starting itself about the hopes and all, I would have taken you so seriously and he says “I was blinded by the feelings I had for you” and that line makes me cry every day. I did a lot of begging and pleading, it never worked. He wanted us to be friends so that we won’t have any hopes and if our parents agree then we can get married or we can stay the same friends. I said a big no this and currently I blocked him and he blocked me too and I’m following your no contact period. He unblocked me after the second day and he is still blocked in my contacts.Its been four days. I am not able to see a person who couldn’t sleep without talking to me be so rude and taking me and my love for granted. Will he come back and is it worth all my tears and heartbreak if he comes back? Please help me out.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Raashi. Sorry to hear about the breakup. Employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you’re doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, okay? Basically give it time first and take the chill pill as overthinking will only cause more worries than necessary. Watch and learn some tips here, too: 5 Mistakes that Could Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back. Good luck!

      Reply
  59. Adriana
    Adriana says:

    Hi Brad,
    I’m Adriana, I just went through a breakup about 1 month and 3 days ago. I’m really confused and I just simply don’t understand why did it happen. So I decided to tell you my story, because i think it’s a unique one, and i really need your help. I mean desperately. At the begining of our relationship after 2 years, i broke up with him. We both made mistakes, but after 3 months, i realized, i couldn’t live without him, and i wanted him back. So in February i told him, that i wanted to start again. The answer was: „it’s not up to me.” So we started to hang out, and we began to behave as if we were a couple. Although nothing was the same. But i accepted, it couldn’t be. Then, about six months later, i asked him: what is going on between us? But he couldn’t tell me. He said that he likes me, but he needs time to think. From that moment, he constantly pushed me away, and at the end of August, he broke up with me. He said that he loves me, but he is no longer in love with me, and only one thing stops him to start again, the WILL. I dindn’t understand it. I still can’t. But I really get panicked, and i made some mistakes, because i asked him to stay friends. FRIENDS? I just don’t want to be his friend, but i didn’t want to lose him. AGAIN. I know him for 8 years, and we are friends for 5 years. He is the love of my life. I know, i’m only 21, but for me it is a long time. Since then he wrote me once a week, but i just couldn’t stop myself, so i wrote him, and i told him how much i miss/need/love him. 10 days ago, he hadn’t written to me. I don’t know what to do to get him back. I just don’t want to make more mistakes. So Brad, if there is any chance to get him back, please tell me, or help me, because it consumes me. Like hell.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      What reasons did you have for breaking up with him? Examine those reasons first since it may or may not likely play a role if you do get back together. Can your issues be resolved or not? I know you miss him and perhaps still love him deeply, but if the reasons why you broke up with him in the first place are still there, then it’s not likely gonna work out anyway. Also, what did you mean by mistakes? What mistakes were made during the relationship? I’m sorry, but there’s lots of missing pieces here, sign up for my coaching program instead so I can look into your situation more clearly and figure out what’s going on, then guide you on a regular basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  60. Matthew
    Matthew says:

    Dear Brad, I understand why it’s a bad idea to suggest friendship to your ex girlfriend/boyfriend, but I’m a tiny bit confused why we were suggesting it to them with the “clean slate” email :
    ‘… I’m moving on. I hope we can still be friends down the road, though… “. Was the purpose of this to make him feel we are in lo 0?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      The purpose of that email is to get your ex into a “neutral” state, this is why the clean slate email works best if you sent it as soon as possible, or as soon as the breakup happens in your case. You won’t be friends with them per se, but by getting your ex into a somewhat neutral state, this will help her become receptive to communication down the line, not right away though. Plus you BOTH really need to take some time off each other, around a month or so will do. Make sense now? I hope that answers your question. Remember to follow the guide down to a tee. Stay strong. Good luck!

      Reply
  61. Lebo
    Lebo says:

    Hey Brad,

    My boyfriend broke up with me few weeks ago. We have been communicating ever since. The thing is when we don’t talk at all it hurts so much but when we communicate I actually feel better about the situation. I think I want him back and I still have feelings for him. He says the reason for the break up is that is he not ready to be in love with someone, he claims that he has insecurities, self doubt and is not in a good state emotionally. He keeps on telling me that he will always love me but strongly believes that the break up is for the best. I’m so confused. Your assistance will be highly appreciated Brad

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Lebo, sorry to hear about the breakup. You ought to stop communication with your ex first, for at least a month. A lot of things could go wrong if you continue to be all friendly after the breakup, including what your ex is experiencing towards you now. He most likely made excuses to breakup, watch this: What Your Ex Meant By ‘It’s Me, Not You’ and other excuses. You see, the thing with exes, especially the one who’s doing the dumping, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope…including talking to someone they’re used to talking, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it’s like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day “no contact” rule, okay? Watch this, too: How To Make Your Ex Miss You. Good luck!

      Reply
  62. Tinoy John
    Tinoy John says:

    Hi Brad,

    My gf of 3 years broke up with me stating that she doesn’t feel it for me anymore. It’s been two months since this happened. So from that period I’ve tried to have a no contact with her but I’ve always messed it up. Today I did meet her and told her that I still have feelings for her and she did end up making me a “friend”. I have a feeling that if I stay friends with her there might be chances that I could fix everything. There’s another guy in the picture who has expressed her his feelings after the breakup but he’s told her that he would be friends if nothing happened. I’m lost now and I do not know what to do. You’re the expert here Brad. Please help me out.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Try to stick to the “no contact” rule this time. A situation with an ex is fragile, so you’d really want to omit, if not minimize these mistakes, okay? In other words, the more you stick around trying to be friends and doing all these mistakes, the more the other guy will become a better option by default. There are no unlimited chances with an ex, so if you can do it right moving forward, then do so. Watch this: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good timing is essential. Good luck!

      Reply
  63. Sean
    Sean says:

    Hey brad I want to start off by saying I’m 18 an so was my girlfriend, we dated for over a year and always stood by each other through everything. The love we both had for each other was so real. We were both each other’s best friend and each other’s everything and I thought I had truly found the girl of my dreams. We both loved each other unconditionally and went through so much together but she still broke my heart. We broke up about three days ago and have still been talking like we did before because we both don’t want to ruin the friendship that we built during our year together because we were so close. Her main reasoning behind wanting to break up was because she needed to be alone and need time to herself and she thinks we both do to help ourselves grow and become less dependent on each other. Both of us have been very upset over what happened to us and at times i think she is more hurt than I am. I just wanted to know if there was any hope of us getting back together? I did everything your videos suggested and I told her that I was going to change my controlling and dependent ways (which I was never aware of until we broke up) and I told her we needed to not talk for right now. I am seeing her again this coming Friday so we can give each other back the things we gave over the year and we are again going talk about what happened and i was just wondering if you had any advice on what to say or do to possibly try to convince her that she is making a mistake like I know she is. I and most of the friends we share think her decision was heavily influenced by one of her best friends (who is a bad influence to her and doesn’t have her best intentions in mind ever) who has always been jealous of our relationship because we were so close, even though neither I or any of our shared friends have any evidence that this is true we all speculate that it happened because of who the girl is. Thank you for listening to me and any advice you have to give on what to say to her is well appreciated. Thanks.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Sean, sorry to hear about the breakup. You both need some time apart before you can truly be friends, if that’s what you both really wanted. There’s no switch button to go from being lovers to just being friends. Okay? Once that line has been crossed, there’s almost never going back to the friendship, but with enough time, it can happen. I suggest you stop trying to be friends. And besides, if her reason for wanting to break up is her wanting to be alone and needing time for herself, how is being her friend going to help? Respect her decision first and take time to process the breakup instead, so she gets to do the same. Watch this, too: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back. Good luck!

      Reply
  64. Dave
    Dave says:

    Hello.. I just went through a breakup a couple of weeks ago. It lasted for good 3-4 months, the love was intense and real. Yes, it’s a long distance relationship and I was almost ready to visit her.

    Now.. she had been in a relationship with her ex-boyfriend for one year (went just fine) and then broke up two times afterwards (rebound relationship) and he was being verbally abusive via text and called her a whore and other painful derogatory remarks. During my relationship with my ex-girlfriend after she broke up with him, he again broke NC rule and made derogatory text message every 2 weeks. Then last week he pleaded and begged her to make peaceful amends and forgive n’ forget. She unblocked him and let him in his life; as a result of this, she broke me up for trivial reasons (half truth & half lie) until I found out that she got back with him instantly after my breakup and initiated sexual contact. This sounds like a rebound relationship to me and it probably won’t work on the long run? No? Besides, all of her family hated him for what he did to her in the past.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Dave, sorry to hear you’re going through this. I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but if there’s a rebound relationship, that rebound guy is you. She’s not exactly over her ex yet, which is made evident by her going back to him regardless of how she’s being treated by him. You’ve been her comfort zone and her go-to person all along and this is why she’s keeping you in the loop, but I doubt she has real feelings for you, judging by how the relationship ended prematurely and how she quickly jumps back to her ex’s arms. Watch this to help guide you: How to Get Your Ex Back If You Were In a Long Distance Relationship. I suggest you consider moving on from this, okay? It may not be worth it. Good luck and I hope you find the right girl for you soon!

      Reply
      • Dave
        Dave says:

        She just contacted me today… wow.. I had to respond because she was in physical pain. Suggestions? I didn’t even start any contacts. Probably I should be paying you lol….

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          What type of pain? If it’s along the lines of emotional pain brought about by her ex whom she’s having a hard time leaving, then you’d better stay off, man. I could be wrong though and I really don’t want to jump into conclusions before I get the full story, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

          Reply
  65. Mariana
    Mariana says:

    Hey Brad, first, i thank you so much for those advices and orientations, but i have a questio , why would refusing the frienship with ex be a risk of ending any sort of contact with them after? I mean that i was thinking that the ex would try to get closer from you because he kind of got used to you in his life and no one was caring about him as much as you did so the ex can’t handle the idea of being out of your life totally wich will bring the ex back in place of pushing him or her away. Ok please give me your opinion if im wrong or right abt this 🙂 thank you

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You’re welcome, Mariana. You’re put at a blatant disadvantage because in order for your ex to want you back and realize your value, you ought to make him feel what it’s like NOT to have you in his life, okay? If you’re always there, as a friend, chances are he’ll keep you but will still be moving on to someone else…and you’ll witness it all and would only put yourself through unnecessary pain. Use this time instead to work on yourself, all right? Don’t become an emotional crutch unless you just want to be friends with him and nothing more. Watch this, too: The Dangers of the “Friendzone.” So employ the “no contact” rule before it really becomes too late.

      Reply
  66. jassi
    jassi says:

    Hey Brad, its been a while since the breakup and i m about 10-12 days into the no contact zone. Whenever i see my ex she is having a nice time with her friends and i really don’t feel she is missing me. I display a strong character in front of her and i always make myself look happy with my life and friends. I dont feel the same from inside and i really want her back. Can you give me some advice regarding this because this no contact thing doesn’t seem like working for me

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Jassi. Sorry to hear about the breakup. If your relationship was serious/long-term, then I can almost guarantee that your ex is likely putting up a strong front as well. I suggest you use this time productively and stop trying to observe your ex, okay? Now is the time to be focusing on yourself and as your mind clears, think of the real issues behind the breakup and the roles that you BOTH played that led to it. This can help you see if the situation can be truly salvaged or not. Good luck!

      Reply
      • jassi
        jassi says:

        Yes, I read your book the ex factor guide and i understand the mistakes i made which made her lose attraction for me. I feel that things can be sorted and given a new chance if I correct my mistakes and improve as a person when i try to reconnect with her. i have been out on a few dates and i feel good about myself that other girls show interest in me but deep down inside i want to give another shot to my ex gf. i just fear that what will i do if she moves on with someone else during our no contact period. she is also been going out with other people too. Shall i cut short my no contact and contact her after 20 days instead of 30 ?

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          Great! I’m glad you now have the tools to guide you on what to do. Now I know it’s difficult (and it’s a different challenge all on its own) but try to follow the guide down to a tee, all right? This means to wait AT LEAST a month, and no don’t cut it short and don’t try to rush it, otherwise you’d be back to square one. Read it many times over until you master it. Take care!

          Reply
  67. priya
    priya says:

    Hey Brad, its really a hard time for me…I and my ex broke up 5 months ago..our relation started with friendship..we are very good friends..he proposed me first..i rejected..still we r good friends..though we were not into a serious relationship..our emotions are very intense..later on i got feelings towards him..then he said he don’t love me anymore..Most of the time I used to cry talking to him about his rejection because he is the only person i could share..he feels bad about my situation..now he seeing another girl,he didn’t go into a serious relation with her but I am not able to take this..I am not over him yet..I don’t want to loose his friendship too..even he wants me to be as his friend despite of all the pain I am suffering..Our friendship is so pure and we are always honest to each other…What to do now?? please guide me through this..Thank you 🙂

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Priya, sorry to hear about the breakup. Your friendship is honest, but have you told him when you started falling for him, too? If not, then it may be a case of a little too late and as much as I hate to say this, I suggest you move on from this, okay? Also try to see why you want him all of a sudden now that he has a girlfriend and be sure it’s not because you’re wanting something (or someone) you know you can’t have. This may help: Is Your Ex the Right Person For You? Take care!

      Reply
  68. Ashish
    Ashish says:

    Hey Brad,

    I just want to say that it’s really hard time bro….more than year relationship i can’t forget …..how is it possible she forgot it ….it’s the time I feel like I am alone no one is helping me out bro many questions are in my mind whether I think she moved on….but the think is that we are really close to each other like she come to home twice how she forget ever think every day we spend 4 hrs while seating with each other and spending time on phone….like 6 hrs daily but how it is possible ….after break up she can’t even contact me….the major drawback is ….I just beg for her like aa Beger I don’t know y but saying sorry is like …….she just simply said don’t call me or message me again…my heart was dead I am fully dead at that time… till now I cried alot daily …..there no contact now between us like 5-7 days but she always cheak my Snapchat story …bro do you think something gona happed now with which she came back? Bro plz show me the right path …I am nothing without her……-Ashish

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Ashish, sorry to hear about the breakup. People often leave a mark when they leave, especially someone really special, so forgetting that someone is almost impossible. I’m sure she remembers you, too. But if you’re trying to get over someone, the good news is there will come a time when you remember but will no longer feel the pain. If the breakup is fresh, you BOTH likely need time to process your own feelings first, all right? Don’t beg her. Stop talking to her instead and take this time to focus on yourself. All right? Watch this vid: How to Make Your Ex Miss You.

      Reply
  69. Teo
    Teo says:

    Hi Brad,

    Me and my ex were together 4 months and had a very powerful love between us. She was a jealous person and we were arguing about some meaningless topics. After all that arguments I have decided to break up with her and then found out that it was not the right decision. Then I tried to get back with her then her answer was, we fell apart and and she does not want to be with me anymore. On our last talk she was holding my hands telling me that she still loves me but she needs some time and if there will be something between us again the time will show it. She needed time and does not want a relationship right now. She got used to being single. Do you think during this break up time, she moved on to someone else ? I am doing the no contact rule at the moment , it has been 4 days and still no contact from both sides. What shall I do ? What are the chances of her missing me? Do you think she is just moving on ? Please help me on this situation. Thank you and sorry for grammar mistakes.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      If you’ve been pretty close during the 4 months you were in a relationship with her, then I highly doubt she’d forget you that easily. Subsequently, if it wasn’t a closely bonded relationship, then there’s a chance she had moved on, particularly if the relationship hadn’t been going well. So a lot depends on your situation and other factors at play. Your best bet, however, is still to cut off communication for at least a month and let her miss you. Watch this, too: Will Your Ex Forget About You During No Contact? So stay strong and just play your cards right so you don’t push her away, then take steps to rebuild the attraction. My Ex Factor Guide can help with that, so check it out. Good luck!

      Reply
      • AMy
        AMy says:

        Hey Brad, me and my were together for 5 years. he broke up with me 2 months back.. We loved each other very much. wee were thinking of getting married. he has a lot of friends, girls as well as boys..i was very possessive and used to come up with girls issue.he broke up with me three times because of my attitude..but he came back every time firstly because i begged him and secondly because he loved me…he never hide anything from me..whenever he meet a new person he tells me..he said he is losing his freesom and how he can live with a person who doesnt trust him..so i pushed him hard and finally he told me his feelings for me is dead..he tried his best but it is not working..he said we can keep in touch..this time i didn’t beg..i knew i was hurting him so much..i didn’t text him for two weeks since the break up..after two weeks of break up he texted me saying merry Christmas and his article got published..he is really such a nice person..i texted him a few times after his message.. but i didn’t mention anything about relationship..he is replying to my messages..one of my friends invited me and my ex for dinner and he seemed interested to come but i did not go the dinner i thought it is not a good idea to meet him at this point so fastly..i need him back..what can i do?

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          Hi Amy! Sorry to hear about the breakup. He probably just need a break, so try not to make any more of these mistakes, okay? A good way to ensure that is by cutting off communications with your ex for at least a month. Get yourself together first. Watch this too to help you you in the future: How to Get A Boyfriend. Take care!

          Reply
  70. Rose
    Rose says:

    Hi brad,
    Me and my ex were together 2 years and lived together. We loved each other very much but arguments began to take their toll and then I became more paranoid when a girl from his work kept messaging. He always said they were just friends. He broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and moved out. Last weekend I was out and saw him kissing this girl from his work but he assured me it was nothing and just happened drunk. Two days later I bumped into them at the pub but he again said they are just friends and were meeting to clear the air before they went back to work. I’m not doubting if hes told the truth about the break up but am confused why now he wouldn’t just be honest about it?
    He’d told my family and friends that he’d planned on proposing to me in the past. We broke up because he was unhappy with the arguments but said he will always care about me.I am addressing that part of my life separately as I have been diagnosed with body dysmorphia which was making me very down and low in myself which made me take things out on him that I shouldn’t have.
    Tomorrow will be 7 days into no contact. I have purchased your program ‘the ex factor’ and am going through the steps. I am quite uncertain of whats going to happen and have accepted the relationship is over but know more than anything that I love him and want him back. In my head though him not being in touch so far is making me feel like I must’ve meant nothing at all.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey, Rose. Sorry to hear about the breakup. I suggest to turn the focus on you instead and your own life first, all right? It’s very likely that these arguments have taken a toll on you both, especially him, so give it some time to allow for the negativity to dissipate first. Try to see what’s causing these arguments anyway and get to the bottom issue since too having too many arguments, especially over recurring things, can really damage a relationship. Take your time in this since getting an ex back is a process, but first work on yourself and the changes you ought to be making, put the relationship in the back burner if you have to. Take care!

      Reply
      • Rose
        Rose says:

        Thanks brad. I am taking the necessary steps to already work on myself. With exercise, diet and lots of social occasions I am enjoying alongside my personal CBT sessions I am feeling much better in myself. But still missing my boyfriend a lot. Hoping the ex factor program will work for me but it’s hard not to think he doesn’t miss me at all when he’s not been in touch yet. This is the longest we’ve not been in contact ever.

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          You’re welcome. I’m glad you now have the tools to guide you on what to do. Now I know it’s difficult (and it’s a different challenge all on its own) but try to follow the guide down to a tee, all right? Read it many times over until you master it. All right? Take care!

          Reply
  71. Bryan
    Bryan says:

    My ex fiance and I were together for almost 3 years and it was pretty intense for most of it. We got engaged after 6 months and moved in together in a new city she transferred to for work after 11 months. During this time, in the last few months of our relationship, I started growing cold towards her. Eventually I told her I needed to move out of the house and have some space. I also told her I did not want to break up with her during this time.

    On July 1st, I moved out. A few days later, I came back and told her it was a mistake and that I wanted to mend the relationship. She told me she needed space, time to miss me, and to find herself. Well for the next 6 weeks, we were still sleeping together and talking and doing other stuff. Come to find out, a few days after we had sex for what I guess was the last time, she had a man over at her house. I knew this because I was suspicious and went over there and lo and behold, there he was. She came outside and talked to me and was upset about what I did, but I was angry. I didn’t yell at her or put my hands on her (I never have), but it wasn’t a good site (I was also drunk).

    I’d also like to add, that during these 6 weeks, I’ve been pushing her pretty hard into getting back into a relationship and she was getting rather angry. I also told her I didn’t want to be JUST friends and that we could be FWB while she figured stuff out. Well, that obviously didn’t happen and now it leads us to now. I’ve been texting her pretty frequently about who this guy is and she’s saying it’s none of my business, even though I know they hang out rather often at her place (haven’t been over there but one other time, but I know other things about her that would tell me this). I just recently asked her to tell me what it was or to block my number, block me from all social media, and hide any posts about us on her Facebook because I’m sure her boyfriend wouldn’t like that. Well, she got PISSED and told me to quit contacting her and when she wants to talk to me, then it will be up to me if I want to respond.

    I was acting VERY beta during this time period and now all I have left is just leaving her alone and getting busy. I don’t think the relationship with this guy is anything than a FWB situation, where she needs to feel validated by another man that isn’t me (daddy issues), and once she’s gotten enough of that validation, she might talk to me eye to eye. I’m confident she is hiding this “relationship” from everyone else and she does not say anything on Facebook like she did with me when we first met.

    Is 30 days really going to be well enough to let her handle this issue and allow enough time for her to miss me? I know I shouldn’t want her back, but in my mind, she was/is my unicorn and I’d hate for this to be over. I know it’s difficult to look at someone in eyes with the same love you felt before, but I think it’s possible if she can overcome this and forgive me for being a fool recently. We’re also both aware that our previous relationship is dead and buried.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  72. mounika
    mounika says:

    hey brad…my relationship is from past 6 years…because of my parents i left him but i can’t forgot him and still he is loving me but he is not showing his love how can i change him plzz i need advice

    Reply
  73. edward
    edward says:

    Hey brad… I need advice… I was in a relationship with my girl for 6 years and she broke up with me a week before my birthday we even have a child together that’s a year old now… we had our fair share of arguments but we always worked it out …. our last argument she told me to get my act together so I did exactly what sh wanted and she left me still! So I need advice please

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Edward, get your act together how? Sorry to hear about the breakup. Make sure to take some time off so you can see things clearly and take a closer look at the roles that you BOTH played that led to the demise of this 6-year relationship, okay? You’d really want to stop drama at all costs, now, so really cut off contact for a good while. But since you have a kid together, just keep contact to a minimum and try with all your might to keep it strictly about the kid, don’t divert the topic! All right? Good luck and stay strong!

      Reply
  74. John
    John says:

    Hi. My ex initiated the breakup and I understand why she chose to do so. We had small arguments that led to one big one while I was away on vacation and she blew up because she told me that she bottled up feelings about the arguments because she was afraid of how I would react. We’re in the part of our lives where long distance was the only option so she realized that there’s no point to keep trying in the relationship since we don’t have time. But, she told me that after we both work on ourselves, she wants to try again because she was done with the relationship but not done with me. She said she feels all the same feelings as I do but she was just done trying relationship wise. I’ve been giving her time since we broke up but I always want to talk to her and ask how she feels. I want to try again too but a lot could happen in the year that I’m gone and a lot can change. What do I do communication wise? Should I try to maintain something with her? Should I just let her go?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      John, sorry to hear it. The distance may have likely taken its toll on her. It’s actually ultimately your decision to let her go or keep fighting for her back. If you choose to do the latter, however, you ought to play your cards right. It’s about time to shift the focus away from her and back to you instead at 100% all right? Watch this to learn some tips on how to deal with it: How to Get Your Ex Back in a Long Distance Relationship. If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

      Reply
  75. Liah
    Liah says:

    Hello Brad, I’ve been watching you videos recently. On September, my 30 no contact will end and I feel like, I don’t know what to do next. My boyfriend broke up with me last July 22, 2016. He said that he didn’t love me anymore and he sees me as a friend only. We were together for 3 years and 7 months, I’m not sure if the 7 months, he still loves me o pretended that he loves me. Our anniversary is Dec 15 which is my birthday, he said that he still love me during that period, we fought last march because I teased him on his crush before, he broke up with me because of that and I apologized to him and begged to stay. He stayed and we had many family bonding in the next months. He helped me to apply for the scholarship so we can enter the same university. I passed and we were good until the night before July 22, we had a small fight, I was stressed out in school and family issues, and when we talked through call at first it was great but I got annoyed with his joke, and he got mad and ended the call. I felt bad, and wanted to apologize for being so sensitive and being stressed, but he replied that he was tired. After the weekend, we talked and he told me that he doesn’t love me anymore, and I did my best not to show him that I’m hurt. But stupid of me, I accepted his offer that we wants to be friends with me, we walked home together as if nothing happened, we spent time like going out and texts, but without intimate relation, this happened for one week, until I realized that I was just pretending to be okay and accepting the “friendship”, I still feel hurt, so I chatted him that I can’t handle the friendship anymore because it still hurts. He unfriended me on Facebook. Since then I barely see him on the campus maybe because of our conflict schedules. I’m still trying to move on and fix myself, but deep inside I still love him. To keep myself from drama, I just imagine that maybe he found someone better than me, maybe that’s the reason.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Liah, sorry to hear about the breakup. If you haven’t cut off contact yet, then that would likely cause him to automatically friendzone you, which is a big no-no, so try to follow the “no contact” rule religiously, okay? If you both keep getting annoyed over the jokes each one makes, then perhaps you both ought to communicate so you both can tone it down a bit. Anyway whatever the case may be, act responsibly yet try not to take things too seriously now since you may be in a period of growth and lots of changes, including preferences in attitude, personality, etc. Focus on your studies instead, all right? Take care!

      Reply
  76. Lorna
    Lorna says:

    Hi Brad, Me and my ex were together for about 2 years overseas. Things didn’t work out and I moved back home for a fresh start. He then came with his family for a visit and gave me all the signals that perhaps we would get back together. As the holiday ended, I left the ball in his court and decided to see if he wanted to give things another shot. I gave him weeks and finally decided to ask him what was going on because it set me back a lot.. waiting and wondering. Anyway, he decided that we should move on. I was shocked and hurt but I decided that was okay and was very pleasant in my response. I tried this friendship idea for months and it only brought me back to square one, so i told him i didn’t want to be friends and we should move on. Did i do the right thing?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Lorna. Sorry to hear about the breakup. The thing with getting an ex back if there’s hardly any deadline as when you two should be back together. Asking him was a bad move, so is putting too much power on your ex’s hands, as you also play a role in rebuilding the attraction you two once had for each other. Anyway refusing to be friends is right, so give it time, okay? And try not to rush it this time. Play your cards right. Read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good timing is essential! Good luck!

      Reply
      • Lorna
        Lorna says:

        Thanks Brad. I think I knew that was a bad move to be honest…. I just felt it was holding me back, the not knowing and I am the kind of person that just cant move on until I know for sure things are over. I won’t be contacting him again or wasting anymore time on trying to figure out what is going on in his head. Maybe in time things will change. Thanks again!

        Reply
  77. trice
    trice says:

    Hello me and my ex husband have been trying to make things work one min he wants to be in an relationship with me and the next me he do not, and now he want to be friends. Yes I love him but he can not stop with this confused mess I have to move on with my life and be happy. What should I do at this time?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      You did the right thing by not being friends with him. Now make sure you employ the 30-day rule, first and foremost, okay? I suggest you stay busy by reading my Ex Factor Guide, which covers every possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Good luck and stay strong!

      Reply
  78. Anthony
    Anthony says:

    My girlfriend and I broke up about 4 weeks ago. I have been in NC for about 3 weeks. She called me the perfect boyfriend and she said that I am everything she wants in a boyfriend. She said that I am the boyfriend she deserves, however she feels like something is missing. She doesn’t know what that something is but felt like she needed to end things because of this. She told me she doesn’t want to lose me out of her life and considers me her best friend… I told her she doesn’t get the best of both worlds and left. Since then she has invited me out once and even a invite over to her house to watch a movie, which we all know what that was meant to be, but I am here asking you what she means by somethings missing?? She doesn’t know what that something is but that’s why we broke it off. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, sorry to hear about the breakup. She’s contradicting herself by saying those things, which indicates that she’s likely very confused right now. Give her time to think and in the mean time, cut off communication for at least a month, all right? It’s best not to be friends with her, so rejecting her offer of friendship may have been your best move so far. Read my guide if you haven’t already since it has everything you need to do, especially the timing on when to do what. But for starters, watch this: 3 Things That Will Make Your Ex Want You Back. Good luck!

      Reply
  79. Lynn
    Lynn says:

    Hey Brad, I need advice on my situation so here it goes.
    My ex and I are both 32 years old and have been broken up for about 9 months now. He ended the relationship back in October of 2015, the day after my birthday. We celebrated it with a nice dinner and boom, I get a text message the next day saying he needed some space.
    I followed through with the NC(no contact rule) and focused on me. Joined a gym/all women bootcamp, lost 10 lbs, restarted a few businesses I’d talked about when he and I were together, and spent more time with family/friends.
    On Mothers Day I received a “Happy Mothers Day” text from him. I replied with a simple “Thank You.” And left it at that.
    Fast forward a few months later I sent the famous “accidental but intentional” text which opened up a short convo that I ended quickly. On the 4th I sent a simple text indicating I was thinking of him and hoped all was well. This has opened the door for short text messages here and there then an open invitation to dinner. At the moment I couldn’t go ( I was leaving out the country the next day) but told him I’d love to do so once I returned.
    Now to the present…. He and I had dinner a week ago. It went very smoothly and within conversation he brought up the break up and his reasons for doing so. I listened without judge or blame and made it very clear that I understood he had to take care of him. He asked how I felt and I did say how hurt I was and how much I stilled love him. He indicated he felt the same. Later he asked about my dating life and was surprised I was still single. He made it known he had a “lady friend” ( who had a 50/50 chance of being his girlfriend) but was not committed to anyone. He told me I looked good with the lost weight, new tan, and awesome figure. He later asked did I ever think about our sex life. I indicated all the time and he implemented he did the same. My question, is he opening the door for reconciliation or just friendship?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Lynn, good to know things went well the last time. Granted how it’s been months since the breakup, have you spent time reflecting on the real reasons behind the breakup? It’s important to look back and see what really happened so to prevent any pattern from recurring. All right? Now that that’s out of the way, your ex has clearly shown some good signs, watch the rest of it here: Does Your Ex Want You Back? 8 Signs To Look For Just a simple reminder: having these signs shown to you by an ex doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll ask for you back anytime, you ought to play your cards right too and not mess up the “progress.” Read my Ex Factor Guide or sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  80. Katia
    Katia says:

    Hi Brad,
    I have been doing no contact with my ex for over 30 days. he dumped me by text the last Tuesday in June, saying that he was feeling low,he wasn’t “boyfriend material” and it wasn’t fair on me. (I know this is bull and its about attraction). The only communication I have had with him since then was a text back to him a day or so later to say I was sorry he’d been feeling low, and that I felt devastated, but if he needed to talk I could listen. I didn’t expect or get a reply, and I have left him alone since then.
    I haven’t found the no contact particularly difficult because I have no idea what to say to him. In fact the idea of texting him anything to just be ignored or rejected is terrifying to me, but then so is the idea of spending the rest of my lift without him.
    I have been okayish up until yesterday and I am starting to feel anxious about him, and dreading the moment that I find out he is with someone else.
    I have bought your book, but it seems to be speaking to someone else, someone who is emotionally overt, who needs to be told to not to bawl and make a show of themselves, not to me.
    I am really starting to feel like I am on my own.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear about the “no contact” rule, Katia. I’m glad you seem to be staying strong, despite everything, and that the “no contact” rule isn’t really a challenge for you. This rule isn’t the end game, though, as you can see. I suggest you focus on the other parts mentioned in the guide, too, like getting yourself back to the point where you display these attractive traits and go through the second and third phases smoothly, all right? Review the guide until you master it. Good luck!

      Reply
  81. Joni
    Joni says:

    Hey Brad ,
    I know this is not right what I am about to ask but here goes … My ex just COLD TURKEY faded away from me .. Here is my story .. We have been together for 10 years .. Not a normal relationship but a very close one ! However … Here is the awful part .. We are BOTH married ! About a year ago he left his wife .. For only about 3 months both filed for divorce . But days before it was final he went back because he said he missed his two kids that are 6 & 4 . Yes he had two kids with her because they have never gotten along and she is very needy & trapped him with the kids . When he got back together with her about a year ago he admitted to her about us … Of course she made him block me from Facebook completely … But because he still said that he loved me he came running back after about 2 months however we taught school together so he saw me daily .. Just recently he was let go at school not because of us but coaching reasons .. Up until two weeks ago we were still seeing each other about once a week & texting daily … He would tell me how much he loved and cared for me & kept saying you will see .. And telling me how perfect and amazing he felt just being around me .. Like I said 2 weeks ago he just said he was under pressure to get a job & maybe we should not talk till we were both divorced . So of course I said fine we can still b friends .. But I have read your how to get your ex back program & now as of today it’s been only TWO WEEKS of no contact but a school called me for a reference about him & I gave a good recommendation & he got the job ! I just text and told him congrats & that I had given him a good rec from the call .. ABSOLUTELY NO RESPONSE . Do I have a chance at all ? He has said for years his wife is needy & complains constantly & even his friends say so .. She has no friends at all .. She is annoying .. I really do love him ! He has done this before and come back to me but I want to do things the RIGHT WAY & divorce before we are together .. The other way is wrong I know ! But we just are so perfect together .. He has said it a million times .. 10 years we have been seeing each other .. I need to know what to do ?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Joni, 10 years and he still hasn’t filed a divorce yet? Are you planning to get a divorce as well? It may be a messy situation if things get out of hand. I doubt he’s gonna leave his wife, if he has plans to, then he already has. I don’t want to jump into conclusions, however, and I prefer to get the entire story first because this is s pretty unique situation you’re in and a lot of factors have to be taken into consideration, okay? So sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk to you soon!

      Reply
  82. Anton
    Anton says:

    Hey Brad, greetings from Austria.

    Me and my Ex broke up exactly 2 Months and 2 days ago, i wrote to her some apology and love letters and after 3 Weeks she started replying and unblocked me. One day i stood in front of her house (not the first time) because i saw her beeing at home whilst driving past it.
    She embraced me and hugged me. Time went on and she commited that she still loved me but isnt sure if she wants me back. (I have changed, dramatically, just for her).
    Time passed and we slowly grew together again. Since 3 Weeks everything is nearly perfect and we have a perfect “friendship +”. But that isnt my goal and our goal to get back together faded from her side. Yesterday we talked (a lot) and she still isnt ready for a relationship with me again, but is willing to bring back those days where we had our goal to be in a relationship again, and actually work for it (not nearly as much as i do).
    But the problem is, on Tuesday my family had planned to go on vacation (8 days) and i have to choose between spending time with her and staying home or going on vacation and grow even more apart from her.

    What should i do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi, Anton. It’s a bad idea to be friends with an ex if you want them back. Okay? Let me just put it out there in case you’ve missed some important points of this article. And you’re right, the perfect friendship isn’t what you’d aim for anyway if your goal is to get back together. Sure you can be friendly or in talking terms, but not friends. Friendship just blurs out the lines a lot. I want you to think carefully about that, as well as in deciding to leave on vacation or not, it’s ultimately up to you, man. But if you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  83. Sia
    Sia says:

    Hey brad..I was dating this guy for past three years we were very close but it was always on and off for him now he decided to break up saying he wants to be single I am not sure if he is dating someone but there might be possibilities .suggest how should I get him back

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Try to see what has caused this on and off dynamic in your relationship with him. Looking at the issues you’ve BOTH failed to address is more important than getting back together, if you want to stay together in the long run, so take a look at those first, all right? If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Good luck!

      Reply
  84. Al Dayton
    Al Dayton says:

    Hello Brad. I’ve bought your program & have read it many times. Its great. My question is this. Its been 3 months since she left me. My ex hasn’t changed her address so she still gets her mail here. Shes never given back my key. Her & I text everyday & its about 50/50 on who starts it. We see eachother once about every 2 weeks & we have fun. She is seeing someone new but almost never mentions him. Should I take these as good signs? Thank you.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Thanks, Al. I’m glad you now have the tools to guide you on what to do. Now I know it’s difficult (and it’s a different challenge all on its own) but try to follow the guide down to a tee, all right? Read it many times over until you master it. The first phase can’t be skipped as it’s a really crucial step. Anyway yes, it’s a good sign that your ex takes time to initiate contact half the time! But again, continue to follow the steps outlined in my book and don’t make your own rules, okay? 🙂 For more definite signs that things are indeed looking up, watch this: Signs Your Ex Wants You Back. Good luck and stay strong!

      Reply
  85. Rodney
    Rodney says:

    Hey brad
    So me and my girlfriend broke up a month ago and it was because she fell out. She stop being in love with me and I tried everything to get her back flowers candy even tried to be her friend going to see her and fought for our relationship but nothing. She said she wanted to be friend but that’s not even working out and she’s already talking to another people. It’s seem no matter what I do she wants nothing to do with me and I don’t know what to do anymore. When I saw her for the last time we spoke but I was still in love and she just saw me as her friend but when we got on the train we acted like the past acted like a couple and even give a few kisses but still nothing so…What should I do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Rodney. Sorry to hear about the breakup. Have you checked out my Ex Factor Guide yet? There has to be at least a month where you don’t speak to each other for around a month or so, this is what I call the “no contact” rule and is the first phase in my three-step program to get an ex back. Anyway eep track of what you’ve been doing to see if it’s productive or not, as far as getting your ex back is concerned. Take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting her back; answer as honestly as possible. Okay? Good luck!

      Reply
  86. Jono
    Jono says:

    Hey Brad,

    So my girlfriend (of 5 years) and I broke up in March but have a long lease on our rental so we’ve been persevering with living with one another. For all intents and purposes, the breakup was amicable and came down to the cliche “i love you but i’m not in love with you any more” line *cue heart stabbing feeling*.

    Over the next couple of months i nailed the ‘no contact despite living with one another still’ by being courteous and nice, but noticeably distant and not a support mechanism for her, and, at the beginning of June (after her flirting and being subtlety tactile for a couple of weeks) we ended up having a very close intimate weekend together when she jumped on me, kissed me passionately and admitted she’d wanted to do it for a couple of weeks. She was impressed that i’d gone away solo on a mini holiday, had been hitting the gym and been out doing lots of stuff and was having a life. Said i was coping with this a lot better than she was.

    We spent the weekend kissing, cuddling up and having a romantic dinner together…. but then she went away for a month on a pre-planned family holiday and has come back now with a very different vibe where she’s acting more distant and like we’re just friends. She’s also told a mutual friend (who secretly showed me the msg) that she’s ‘single now but all good’ and ‘could not see herself marrying me’ which doesn’t seem promising. It could just be a bit of bluster from her, she could mean it, or it could be somewhere in between.

    The change in vibe before her trip completely set my head into a spin and effectively reset my way of thinking (blast!) so, although we said lets have the month apart (there was no choice in terms of distance), and were not constantly in touch, we still did msg occasionally and she seemed impressed with my mini self-transforming fitness kick (her SMS when she was away saying as much after i posted online an image from an event i was attending).

    I’m in no way sure how to proceed as tactics to escape the friend zone (noooooooooooooooooooooooooo) are logical but I live with her and I don’t know if/how to modify things accordingly. Any advice on the matter would be helpful.

    Seriously, if you could provide a decent steer on how you would approach this scenario it would be much appreciated.
    I wouldn’t ask but this is a fairly niche combination of factors so the path is really, really, really unclear.

    Best wishes and all that.
    Jono

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there, Jono. I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation as well. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  87. Marco
    Marco says:

    Hey Brad

    Me and my Girlfreind Broke up 2 weeks ago, we broke up because we had a rough month (we were together since 5 months) and i feel like i pushed her into this by asking her frequently if she still wants to go on i demanded a awnser although she said she doesnt know until she said she doesnt want to continue, but she still loved me. since then we met twice and even hugged us and kissed but she always says she cant do it anymore… what should i do?

    sorry for my bad english, english is not my motherstounge.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Marco, sorry to hear about the breakup. I hate to say this but I’ll have to agree that you DID somewhat pushed her into it, man. A good question to ask yourself though is how was your relationship with her prior to when your questions first started? By asking this question, I can sense some insecurity on your part, but dig deeper and try to see if it’s her acting a certain way which made you feel that…or if it’s something that’s innate with you. Without knowing more, it’s hard for me to give real advice. My first suggestion is probably not to change anything and to continue employing my techniques anyway — definitely follow the 30-day “no contact” rule, for starters. Do not be friends with her as that won’t go anywhere at this time. For specific advice that’s tailored to your situation, sign up for my coaching program so I can help you look more into what’s really going on, okay? Talk soon!

      Reply
  88. Shannon
    Shannon says:

    Me and my ex were together a year and a half but had an on and off relationship, due to him dealing with a lot of family problems. We have been broken up nearly 6 weeks now and I have started the no contact rule again, after breaking it the first time (it has now been 2 weeks). He moved on 2 weeks after we broke up but the relationship only lasted about a week. I’m wondering do I have a chance of getting back with him, or is it a lost cause.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      I suggest you take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting back together. He may be rebounding, so I suggest you employ the 30-day “no contact” rule completely, okay? I also ought to remind you that getting an ex back is a process, so there’s no one-action solution for everything. The “no contact” phase is a good start, so do that first if you haven’t yet. If you have. then I’m glad you’ve completed it. There are two more phases to go with a few other steps in between. What I’m trying to say here is it’s a 3-step process, and it’s a bit complicated to explain it all on here, but I made an overview in the hopes of making people understand, so watch it here: How to Get Your Ex Back or read my guide for the entire process. Good luck!

      Reply
  89. Joseph
    Joseph says:

    Hey Brad…
    We had dated with her back in campus and after campus we stayed for 8 months in the house and had even decided to get married by end of this year.Unfortunately we are of different tribes and her family lives far from our town.On April she had to attend her brother’s wedding.To cut the story short,she started cutting communications and complained about distance and that we are of different tribes and her relatives were against intermarriage,she later texted me that she had cheated on me.since then we’ve not had any communications and I still feel I have feelings for her.Can I still win her back.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Joseph, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but culture is a pretty strong influence and cultural difference, a huge barrier. And looking at how it’s affecting her decisions, it’s best to consider moving on from this, okay? Understand that the choice is ultimately up to your ex on whether to fight for you or not despite the opposition going on. Good luck!

      Reply
  90. Sarah
    Sarah says:

    My ex and I dated for 8 years. 3 years ago I moved away for a job in which he was supportive and things were good. We discussed marriage and kids and began planning our future. Just a year ago he moved 2 states away for a job and that put us really in a long distant relationship. Things were fine and he wanted me to move with him but finding a job wasn’t easy and I refused to move without a job. I also didn’t want to move without him committing to me. After 8 years I felt that for a move that grand I needed full commitment to quit my job and move. Unfortunately about 2 months ago he told me, over the phone, that he wasnt “100% in it anymore” and felt that we should “breakup for now” . Of course my heart dropped and I was devastated. I didn’t see it coming. I spent a month trying to get him back. His parents were hurt by it and we’re telling him he made a wrong decision. According to his parents he felt that he had hurt me too bad to try and get me back. (A lot happened during the course of the one month after the breakup) After a month of trying to talk he eventually went cold turkey so I decided to not reach out anymore and for a month I applied NC. A week ago I felt like I was able to reach out and I did and got a decent response back from him. I kept the conversation really short and I ended it. Although that went nice, Im beginning to want him to feel comfortable with reaching out to me and I don’t want to keep reaching out to him. Should I go NC for another month or maybe a couple of weeks just to see if he gives me a response. I want us to get back together but I don’t want to seem desparate. I’m not willing to pass up 8 years of a great relationship. He even said it was a great 8 years. I’m not sure, but I think he may be running from commitment. Any suggestions?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Sarah, sorry to hear about the breakup. You’re on the right track, generally looking out for your well-being as well. Not wanting to look desperate is a wise move. If you’re now in the second phase of reconnecting, I suggest to space out your messages. Send him a text message once and see how that goes. The goal is to get him to warm up so don’t bring up any drama and don’t talk about feelings or your relationship. This doesn’t happen quickly and for most people, takes some effort on your part…but don’t send him another text message until a week later. As a general rule, only send him a message within a few days if the conversation prior to that went really well. Use the tips here: What to Text Your Ex Boyfriend (And Make Him Want You Back). If you need my help further on this, however, then we ought to take a look at a lot of various factors at play, so sign up for my coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care and talk soon!

      Reply
  91. Cody
    Cody says:

    What if the relationship ended badly where they have set out to say you are the biggest regret in their life and never loved you. That the entire time they were living a lie? You cut the communication off and have not spoke one word to them for a month. However during that duration of no contact you open a door to where you work and she is standing right there…hardest part is walking away and still not saying a word nor acknowledging that you saw them. I still have not spoken to her and have been staying off radar for about two weeks now. Seems that she doesn’t really care and probably never did. Interesting enough I’ve decided to make better changes in my life and get rid of all the negative situations and memories. I hope something good comes of this.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Well, if it’s any consolation, relationship breakups rarely end well. Hurtful words tend to be spoken in the wake of a breakup though, from your ex’s or your side or both, this is one of the main reasons why I suggest to employ the “no contact” rule right away. Do that first before anything else, okay? Cut off contact for at least a month and stay strong. It’s easier said than done, but nevertheless still very doable, once you gather your reserve to do it. It’s time to get busy on other things. I suggest you stay busy by reading my Ex Factor Guide covers every possible ‘what if’ scenario and will give you pretty much everything you need to know, so read it many times over until you master it. The aim of the guide is basically to put you in the best position to get your ex back…and to avoid the pitfalls to increase your chances altogether. Good luck!

      Reply
  92. Ankit Shaw
    Ankit Shaw says:

    I am from India..
    She and I both studied in the same collage. I am 20 yrs and she is 19.
    3 months before she said that she doesn’t feel the way i did for her.
    and she said that she is confused in the relationship with me..
    i was just shocked .and in the fear of loosing her i told her to be friends.
    From there on we speak to each other but i persuaded her many times to forget everything and give us a second chance but she did not agree ..

    From last two week we have holidays i asked her out many times and me atleast as friends but she makes excuse and didn’t agree.

    but i still talk to her on phone and msgs and she also talked but not as she does earlier.

    i want her back badly…
    nd after watching your videos i applied the no contact rule and it has been 4 days since. She had texted me only once each day like “what i am doing”.”what happened to me” ,wished me on festival that we had. india.

    but yesterday i saw a pic of her on fb going out with her friends ..
    and i am thinking does she going to forget me ..??
    Am i doing anything wrong in the process??

    i am asking because when we were in relationship i had not talked to her several (10 -15) days because of my anger.
    and so i am confused what she is thinking about me…
    Am i being rude to her in this way..?

    nd after 2 weeks our cllge is going to open ..
    plz give a reply..

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi there! Sorry to hear about the breakup. How long had you been in a relationship with this girl? If you’ve been technically friends for the past 3 months, then it’s highly important that you get out of the friendzone first, okay? Watch and follow the tips you’ll learn in this video: How to Escape Your Ex Girlfriend’s Friendzone. It’s important that you follow through and really cut off contact.This means no unnecessary chitchats and no stalking her online profile and such. And no, you’re not being rude by wanting to take some time out for yourself to process the breakup and heal from it — which is also necessary if you want your ex back. A reconciled relationship with an ex is always considered a new relationship anyway so in a sense, that’s what you ought to do, to renew yourself first, all right? Good luck!

      Reply
  93. Frances
    Frances says:

    Hello Brad. I dated my ex for only 4 months before he dumped me. I tried talking to him after two weeks but he said again that we shouldn’t be together. I started the NC a week ago, and I found out that not only he erased me from everywhere but also he is into looking for somebody to date. How are my chances here? In two weeks it’ll be two months since we broke up already. Thanks

    Reply
  94. Max
    Max says:

    Hello, my ex broke up with me the first time as a result of parental acceptance, I applied the no contact rule and she came back. Again about 3 weeks ago, she broke up with me the second time still on the issue of parental acceptance but with the twist that there is a guy that has been wooing her and her family accepts him. I don’t know if that is true or she is using this excuse to see if she can break free from our closeness because every time she sees me I can see her eyes get misty. I love her greatly. I don’t know if she has moved on permanently.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey, Max! I’m not sure why parents had to get involved. It’s either you’re both too young to date or it has something to do with culture. Either way, it’s best to consider moving on from this, okay? Understand that the choice is ultimately up to your ex on whether to fight for you or not despite the opposition going on. Good luck!

      Reply
  95. Noe Fernandez
    Noe Fernandez says:

    Hey Brad
    So a while ago my girlfriend broke up with me and she flung the “we’ll still.be friends though” option along with a written apology letter. I’ve tried everything i could to get her off my back but honestly i reached my breaking point and said some stuff i shouldn’t of said. Now i honestly don’t know what to do because as much as i hate her for what shes done, i still have some sort of emotional attachment towards her

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      The emotional attachment won’t go away that easily, man. It takes time to heal a broken heart. Regardless of whether you want her back or not, I suggest NOT to be friends with an ex, especially if the breakup is still fresh. You both need time to process things, especially you, and especially if you’re looking to get her back in the future, all right? Good luck!

      Reply
  96. HANNAH
    HANNAH says:

    Hi Brad,

    My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago and we’ve exchanged a few messages because we were going to go to an event together with friends exactly one month from now. I asked if we could be friends and he said he’d love that but after reading this, I don’t think it would be a good idea since I’m trying to get him back. Ever since the breakup I’ve been missing him everyday and hoping he would come crawling back to me, is there still a chance for that and what do I need to do? What would be the best possible way to get him back and make him miss me? I’m sorry I can’t afford your ex factor system but I would just like some tips and advice please. If it helps we went out for 10 months and he said he broke up with me because his feelings were decreasing for me and he would sometimes get bored and find himself wanting to do something else than hanging out with me when we did. He did love me a lot at a period in our relationship but I think I became too dependent and clingy.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello, Hannah. Sorry to hear about the breakup. Yes, it’s a bad idea to befriend an ex right away, especially if you want him back. Being too dependent/clingy is never a good idea though, so cutting off contact will greatly help your chances since it eliminates that from happening… than if you were to continue as friends. Do the 30-day “no contact” rule for now, okay? Here’s an overview of what you ought to do, to help guide you through this: How to Get Your Ex Back. Good luck!

      Reply
  97. SAM
    SAM says:

    Hi,
    A month ago my girlfriend of 5 months told me out of the blue that she loves me very much but not in love with me.
    We just came back from a romantic vecation, she planned for us to move in together and other plans for the future and 2 days later she dropped the bomb.

    Since then i was in no contact.
    Yesterday i sent her a message about a mutual place that made me think of her.
    We exchanged a couple of text and then i stopped.
    Do we have a chance?

    Reply
  98. Christina M
    Christina M says:

    Hi Brad! My boyfriend dumped me more than a week ago after a 1 year and 8 months relationship ,and I’m confused if he still wants to work things out in the future. He told me he’s been hiding the unhappiness for a month and a half, and wants to be friends with me. But I put my foot down for him to decide to either slowly work things out in the relationship or no relation at all. of course he didn’t like the options and told me “i can’t let you do that”(for no contact at all option). He is not letting go of the past where I made mistakes, and this convinved me to believe that he mostly views me in a negative perspective ..I’ve been giving him time right now, but I just don’t know if that’s enough for him to realize that I’m giving effort for the relationship we had.. please help me.. what should I do next?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Christina, NOT being friends with him was the right move, though. You ought to give him the chance to miss you and that is through no contact with him, all right? Your intention to slowly work on things is good, but know that giving him space at this time is best, so cut off contact for at least a month. Again, don’t rush the process… or else you’d risk losing your chance completely. I suggest you check out my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential and use the steps here as reference: How to Get Your Ex Back. Good luck!

      Reply
  99. specious
    specious says:

    Hey brad it’s specious,I and my boy friend broke up 3months ago,I want to go back with him but I have already begged and pleaded after all he asked me to be friends which I don’t want.I really want The ex factor guide but my country is not listed there while ordering.more information please.

    Reply
  100. Kort
    Kort says:

    Took the quiz looked at all the videos and still don’t feel there is any hope . I’m 4 months pregnant my ex wants nothing to do with me he avoids me and now is tellin me to get rid of the baby and that he does not want to deal with me anymore . No cheating the problem was us not always seeing eye to eye . Applied your strategies and seems like he is just fine with me having no contact I’m heart broken help

    Reply
  101. Vidy
    Vidy says:

    Hi brad!.This is vidy from singapore. i recently got dumped by my girlfriend of 8 months. We were going through a long distance relationship for 6 months and in that time period ive visited her for 2 weeks and lived with her.She even said it was the best 2 weeks of her life, Of late we recently i wasant doing well due to stress from school and family issues and i took out my anger and frustration on her,hence making her feel used and taken advantage of,,Those are the words she said,it came to a point that she told me that our LDR isnt working out and then she does not love me anymore and that the spark had just disappeared.I begged and pleaded so much, making myself look vulnerable weak and most importantly unattractive, i annoyed her with phone calls and long text messages and promised id change but nothing seems to work.She even said ‘how did i even like u in the first place’ which really hurt me alot and she also deleted our pics on instagram removing all traces.she did however say she will keep some photos for memories,She said that we wont get back together and that shes not the one for me and that she will find someone more suitable.I really do not know what to do as im heart broken and still picking up the pieces of the puzzle from this break up, im currenly on day 8 of the 31 day no contact and she has contacted me about 3-4 times asking me for help on some stuff and even messaged me to tell her that she was taking her maths exams and that i wish her good luck. I felt that she still misses and cares for me because she bothered to reach out and wanted me to wish her good luck.Does it shows that my care and concern still matters to me? Its because that message she sent was all of a sudden and i was felt with joy upon seeing it.The fact that we are in a long distance relationship and we’re only 17-18 years of age is quite difficult because money is a issue for me to go visit her and our studies are also important.she said that i was holding her back not just in her studies but as a person to and that i was not the person she expected me to turn out to be. Brad im really lost and i really hope i can get back tgt with her soon as im still madly in love with her and she makes me smile and let me be myself compared to anyone else in the world..The feeling i get when im around her is just unexplainable..Ive never felt so loved and special in my life before, and now that shes gone, it feels like a part of me was gone too.I REALLY REALLY need your advice on how i should tackle this situation and is there any chance of me to get back with my girlfriend and continue this long distance relationship..SHE will be in australia for the next 3.5 years so i really have to make this count and i really need to know how do i get back tgt with her when we arent even in the same country..I’m currently doing the NC and she has contacted me a couple of times and I’ve kept it short and polite and vibrant…I’m really afraid things wont go as planned even after following your book brad..I bought it last week and I’m in day 11 of no contact

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Vldy, I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation as well. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  102. Mathew
    Mathew says:

    Hi brad ,

    Am mathew here . I have brought ur ex factor book , and it’s given me a hope of working towards my ex . Me and my ex broke up last month . She is the one who ended up the relationship. Since the break up . I had tried going through the no contact phase . But my ex kept contacting me at times with regards to our finances . She still holds my credit card . So she keeps messaging me on those regards . But, my replies were very short and I dint reply that fast . I usually take 3 hours to reply to her messages . This coming week , it would be a month after the break up . She is really cold on me . I really don’t know how make it work with her . We had a terrible and painful break up . But after she left me , I realized the mistakes I made . Want her back in my life . As u mentioned in the ex factor book , there shouldn’t be any contact during 31 days . But she kept messaging me about usual stuff . We did have contacts . But not on regards to relationship. How do I go about this . I am planning to send her the first message next week . Pls advise

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Matthew, it’s good to know you have the initiative and actively participating in trying to get your ex back. Since your ex is messaging you about something important, then like the guide says, it’s best you respond. I think you’re doing a pretty good job in handling it though, and following most of what I’ve talked about here: How to Respond to Your Ex’s Texts & Phone Calls (& Win Them Back). The key is to remember NOT to expect things to be back to normal right away, okay? These things need time, man, and having patience really helps. You’re barely pass the first phase and there are two more phases to go as you can see. Follow the guidelines accordingly, all right? Good luck!

      Reply
      • mathew
        mathew says:

        Thanks Brad . Today i messaged her ” “Good morning .I just happened to drive by corniche in al Khor near the pearl of Beirut , and it reminded me of the time we sat there and had food and got back to the car when started drizzling . It was an amazing feel ”

        She just replied with a ” 👍” Emoji .

        i feel she is cold me . Iam really confused .

        Hope things will get better .

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          Matthew, how long has it been since the breakup? You really wouldn’t want to be reaching out to her if the things are still too fresh. You ought to learn to give it time, okay? Depending on what transpired between you two, she may need some additional space from you, so wait a couple more weeks if you’ve already done the “30-day no contact” rule to let her process things. But if you haven’t done this rule yet, then you definitely need to as soon as possible and extend it a bit since keeping in touch with her after the breakup is a huge mistake. Good luck!

          Reply
          • Mathew
            Mathew says:

            Hi Brad , To be precise its been a month and 12 days since we broke up . But, the closure for the relationship was on the 18 th of may. I had followed the 30 days no contact rule . But we had to keep in contact due to some financial commitments , but nothing emotional or about relationship . At times , she comes over to my place and prepares food for herself and leaves ,when am not there. Two days back , a best friend of mine , tried to add her on FB. And the very next day my ex blocked me on Instagram and Snapchat . My friend , she tried adding my ex without my knowledge . But , my ex thought that she Is adding her on FB ,to reconcile between me and my ex. I had send a few ATB and best of relationship text to her . and her replies were mostly with a like emoji . she dint respond to any of the ATB or Best of relationship messages . today morning I messaged her
            6/23/16, 8:42:50 AM: ME: Did u block me on Instagram and snapchat
            6/23/16, 9:07:57 AM: SHE: Yes.
            6/23/16, 9:11:14 AM: ME: Why
            6/23/16, 9:14:32 AM: ME: Did I do anything wrong
            6/23/16, 9:23:14 AM: SHE: No. But I learned from you not to ‘keep contact’ with exes. I blocked all my exes. I dont think you should be an exception.
            6/23/16, 9:27:13 AM: ME: chole
            6/23/16, 9:27:51 AM: ME: Listen doing this won’t help . Am not gonna stalk u or something
            6/23/16, 9:28:22 AM: ME: I understand we broke up .
            6/23/16, 9:29:10 AM: SHE: It is better to keep it like this. I block you or not, doesnt really make huge difference. Coz if you want to contact me, i have whatsapp.
            6/23/16, 9:29:23 AM: ME: Ok
            6/23/16, 9:30:02 AM: SHE: Plus, i got fb friend req from Cathy, your colleague. That is too much.
            6/23/16, 9:30:49 AM: ME: See , I was talking to her 2 days back , and she was asking me . Do u ever think I would ask her to do that .
            6/23/16, 9:31:00 AM: ME: I would ask her to remove the request
            6/23/16, 9:31:43 AM: ME: Sorry about that . No harm intended
            6/23/16, 9:31:49 AM: SHE: Which is exactly why it is better to block you off my social media accounts. It is the best thing to do.
            6/23/16, 9:32:49 AM: SHE: Which should have been done right after the break up. I do not see the point of questioning why. Why i blocked you should be self-explanatory.
            6/23/16, 9:33:51 AM: ME: It’s ok ..sorry for bringing it up
            6/23/16, 9:37:52 AM: SHE: 🏼
            6/23/16, 9:52:25 AM: ME: I know our break up was for the best , and am really relieved . But it would suck if we lost our friendship .
            6/23/16, 9:52:32 AM: ME: Hope that’s fine with u
            6/23/16, 9:54:36 AM: SHE: We dont. You are just restricted to my social accounts
            6/23/16, 9:56:10 AM: ME: Fine
            6/23/16, 9:57:09 AM: ME: Can I ask u something
            6/23/16, 9:57:55 AM: ME: I wanted to buy a dress for pampi . Can u tell me size pls
            6/23/16, 10:04:05 AM: SHE: Adult Small
            6/23/16, 10:04:21 AM: SHE: Kids 13 onwards
            6/23/16, 10:04:30 AM: ME: Ok
            6/23/16, 10:04:32 AM: ME: Thank
            6/23/16, 10:06:04 AM: SHE: 🏼
            6/23/16, 12:27:02 PM: SHE: Dont get kids size. Adult small is better or XS.
            This is the conversation we had . since then , we have nt spoke . Pampi is her daughter .

            sorry about the long message 🙂 . As u said , i would give it a bit more time . I think , she is still mad over me . Thanks for your advise 🙂

          • Brad Browning
            Brad Browning says:

            Hey Matthew, I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation, too. Thanks for your understanding!

  103. Bulu Bhargava
    Bulu Bhargava says:

    I’ve seen almost all the videos you’ve posted about the do’s and dont’s of being friends and all. I’ve started the “No contact” phase. but can you possibly address what to do incase of the situations when the Ex msgs back on social apps like Snapchat? When they post a photo or privately respond to you to get a reaction?

    Reply
  104. Derek
    Derek says:

    Sup Brad,my girlfriend broke up with me 4 days ago and we have been dating for almost 6 months. We fight a lot and we actually broke up before about the same thing but this time she says she’s ending it for sure but i am scared because I really don’t want to lose her.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Derek, sorry to hear about the breakup. A recurring fight over the same things suggests that there may be issues you BOTH had been too stubborn to address before the breakup happened. So try to see what these issues are and if they can be resolved or not, okay? It’s important to think with a clear head and not let emotions influence you, so really cut off contact for at least a month. DON’T be friends with her, it’s simply too soon. Watch this to help you out further: 5 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back. Good luck!

      Reply
  105. Sophia
    Sophia says:

    Hi Brad,
    I recently purchased your book, just to find out that it doesn’t apply to my situation with my ex. I have no idea how to use all the tactics you mention in the book when my ex boyfriend and I still live together and we have a 2 month old baby. I have no family around to help with the baby so I have to be home all day everyday to take care of her, giving me no time to socialize. He is basically gone all day, only comes home late at night to sleep and leaves early in the morning. We don’t even sleep in the same room anymore. We hardly ever talk to each other, and when we do, it’s only about the baby. He’s been living his separate life for a few months now. He says he’s just here for the baby, and tells me to move on. I guess that’s it for us. How do I get him to love me again?? I want him as my romantic partner, not a house mate.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sophia, I’m glad you now have the tool to guide you on what to do. There is a section about your situation on pages 61-62. Now I know it’s difficult (and it’s a different challenge all on its own) but try to follow the guide down to a tee, all right? Read it many times over until you master it. Take care!

      Reply
  106. Ni M.
    Ni M. says:

    Hi Brad,

    My boyfriend broke up with me recently after 2 month dating, saying he didn’t see a future of us together and that he was sorry he wasn’t ready for relationship (which I think it’s because he’s still hurt from his last relationship despite having rebounds as he kept denying he’s hurt but always indirectly mentioned it). He was the one to initiate a 2-month no contact for me to calm down and for both “to have some time”. I came to his house begged, pleaded and even called him midnight the day we broke up. We hangout with the same friends group (we’re all really closed) and it’s uncomfortable for me seeing this going on. I haven’t talked to him and tried to avoid seeing him since the break up. What should I do now? He blocked me on all social media platform and when he unblocked, I sent him request and he deleted them all. My friends told me to move on and that “I have done everything for him, I shouldn’t deserved to be treated this way” (during relationship I often felt unappreciated and didn’t receive enough attention) yet I still care for him so much.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there, Ni. I’m sorry to hear about the breakup. You may be right about him needing some time to heal, especially if there’s been little to no time in between relationships… and more so if you got together shortly after his relationship/rebound ended. It’s good to know that you’re sensible enough to be aware of such things. Anyway hanging out with the same group of friends can be really awkward, so just give it time and keep yourself busy with other stuff. Your friends will understand; whatever you do, don’t be friends with him as you both need space, okay? As for social media, I say don’t fret because it could just be your ex’s way of coping. Anyway social media should be the least of your concerns. Focus on all three phases and your ex may naturally unblock you, in time, as you learn to rebuild that attraction and re-attract this ex back to your life.. Here are the basics of all three phases of getting an ex back: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) and social-media wise, here (but then again, don’t let it become your sole focus) : How to Get Your Ex Back Using Facebook (Or Instagram and Twitter!)
      Good luck!

      Reply
  107. Isma khan
    Isma khan says:

    Hi brad i was in a long distance relationship.. On 7th april we had a fight and he broke off with me he said he thinks we cant stay with eachother.. After that everything was going ok we were chatting on whats app..one day i told him i still have feelings for him and i want him back i begged him but he dint listen..i begged him thrice in a month.. He rejected everytime.. Now we dont talk at all..we r on whats app but dont even chat its been 25days that we dint chat nor talk.. He was a regular user of whats app now he comes online only once or twice in a day..what does it mean.. What should i do.. Any hope for me?

    Reply
  108. Tally
    Tally says:

    Hi Brad,

    My boyfriend and I lived together, we’re young, in college, I’m 21 and he’s 23. We had another roommate, a male friend of both his and mine. We bickered and argued after 6 months of being really great together, so much that I initially decided to end things. In my emotional rage I understood I didn’t want to be done, so we got back together. Three weeks after trying to “fix things” he ended it with me.

    Once he ended things, I was in desperation mode. Now, three weeks later- I purchased your book and feel one hundred times better.

    It’s the perfect set-up, the summer away from each other (we live an hour and a half away), he is living somewhere new next semester and he states that breaking up is beneficial for coming back together better and stronger.

    I’ve done 6 days no contact and already know this is what’s best. But I’m interning in his town, 20 minutes from his house and wondering if I should ever reach out? I know I shouldn’t but if this is for the best, I know he’ll be the first one to reach out. Any tips on this?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Tally, sorry to hear about the breakup. You both seem to have grasped the importance of the “no contact” rule and yes, it is indeed beneficial. So stay strong and follow the guide down to a tee, all right? Needless to say, no, don’t reach out without following the 30-day rule first. Review the guide until you master it. Stay strong and take care!

      Reply
  109. Dan
    Dan says:

    Brad, I did three weeks of no contact after my break up, and she eventually booty called me and we had sex. There was still an obvious connection. However, now there’s only intermittent communication (a text or two every other day), but no signs of getting back together or hanging out again anytime soon. She’s obviously confused. Do I go back to no contact or do something different?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Dan, you may text her using the tips I’ve mentioned on my Youtube channel. Whatever you do, just make sure you don’t come across as needy in order not to blow your chances, okay? Also follow the tips I’ve covered in this video: What to Do If Your Ex Wants Ex (If You Want Them Back). I also ought to remind you that getting an ex back is a process, so there’s no one-action solution for everything. Okay? The “no contact” phase is a good start but There’s two more phases to go with a few other steps in between. Read my Ex Factor Guide to get the complete details and guide you further. Good luck!

      Reply
  110. Claire
    Claire says:

    What do you do in a situation where you have 2 kids together and want to get your husband back? What’s the best approach on that dilemma?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Sorry to hear that. What’s the situation like right now? Do you still live together or has one of you moved out? A marital discord is never easy, this is why I’ve released a second book called Mend the Marriage. Pretty much everything you ought to know to handle this type of situation is on there, from how to communicate more effectively, down to how to handle the kids, monitor your progress through worksheets and stuff. This video is for you, too: How to Save Your Marriage And Stop Divorce. Take care!

      Reply
  111. Olivia
    Olivia says:

    Hey Brad!
    My boyfriend and I just broke up 2 weeks ago, and he initiated it. After a crash of initial emotions I started to be ok and started trying to be his friend (for example a little while back he was ranting to our friend group and I later messaged him saying he could talk to me if he needed). I’ve been trying to follow the no contact rule because I know that’s the first step to getting him back, but we have the exact same friend group so it’s really awkward whenever we want to talk or hang out with our friends. In our relationship we were best friends and we both saw a future together until things got rocky. I started to push him away and play hard to get so he started not put as much effort into the relationship, then we got busy and it ended. Because I know what went wrong and know what not to do I’d like to give it another chance, but my best guy friend is strongly against it. He’s very protective of me, and he continually tries to tell me that getting back together with my ex would be a mistake because of his immaturity, and is trying to convince me that my ex wasn’t the right guy. After giving it some thought and really thinking it through, I would still like another chance with him. Any ideas on what to do?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Olivia, sorry to hear about the breakup. Well, you’re right. You ought to really cut off contact until you reach the 30-day mark. This is simply taking some time off for yourself, all right? You don’t have to hang out with the same group of friends — especially if you have a choice — especially since stuff can be pretty awkward and you’re only putting yourself through unnecessary pain in doing so. They’re your friends and if they’re true, they would understand, okay? So take some time off for yourself first and give yourself the time you really need to heal and process the breakup. Make sense? Take care!

      Reply
  112. Howard
    Howard says:

    Hi Brad, my girlfriend of four months has just offered to just be friends. Our relationship developed very quickly, sexually, I moved in (not the best idea I know) for around two months.

    A month ago she started showing less intimacy, and said it was maybe because we saw each other too much, and she had stress at work. She said I feel more like a family member to her, and that she didn’t feel enough space. I went home after that and started coming over to her place less, trying to give her space.

    A few days ago she broke up, asking if we could be just friends. She said (to me) that there was nothing wrong with me, I was very considerate, giving her space. She just didn’t feel attracted to me anymore. Again, she mentioned I feel like a family member.

    I was really sad, this was my first relationship, as she was always in my thoughts. I went NC for a few days, and asked her friend. Her friend said some stuff about how my ex felt “relieved” after the breakup and that apparently we had different marriage views (she doesn’t want to get married anytime soon, but although I differed in opinion, I wasn’t really putting any pressure on her apart from answering her question about my personal views of marriage).

    I broke NC once, sending her some photos of us. She sent tons of photos back, telling me my farewell letter was sweet and asking about my life. I told her it was really interesting, then she said her life was busy and boring, then I really regretted talking to her and went NC. Now on my first week of NC.

    I’m the type of guy who, knowing despite there are better fish in the sea, has decided to commit. I don’t know if I should give up hope now. I’m concentrating on learning new things such as guitar, and reconnecting with friends (I neglected them a lot during this ‘whirlwind’ relationship).

    I’m dealing with my sadness by giving myself hope that working on myself during this NC period will be effective with improving myself and getting myself back into her attraction zone. I don’t know if this is healthy.

    I”ve also tried to analyze what she liked about me, and what went wrong in our relationship. She liked my humor, my smile, and I don’t know what else. Perhaps I wasn’t too caring on the little things and didn’t tempt her enough in our relationship i.e. i went all in just caring, considerate.

    Also, I’m at a quandary whether she has lost attraction for me specifically, or she has “lost the ability to love again”. She told me that in whatsapp when she broke up, that “my heart can’t be broken cuz its dead”. I’m not sure what to make of this, as she dealt with a lot of depression from a prev abusive breakup, so it might be rebound (breaking up a few months then meeting me).

    Sorry for the long message. Hope my ideas are clear.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey Howard, I appreciate the time you took to write all this, and I would really love to help, but as what I’ve been telling anyone who posts super long comments, please try to keep your post short. I only have limited time to give free advice since obviously my coaching clients take first priority, and I’m trying to cover as many comments as possible. Feel free to sign up for my coaching program so I can prioritise your situation. Thanks for your understanding!

      Reply
  113. Madalin Pinzaru
    Madalin Pinzaru says:

    Hello. My situation is kind of complicate… so…i have been together with my ex-girlfriend for almost 3 years. In april i broke up with her so that she could concentrate on learning for medical university admitance exam ( i choosed to break up because she asked for a break because she felt always guilty for our little arguments and couldn’t concentrate on studying) i thought that breaking up for the moment would be a good idea. I didn’t left her for someone else or because i didn’t love her anymore. After we broke up she kinda got attached to a guy in her class and she also got to the point where they had sex( she told me about this and i was pretty mad at her because i felt that she disappointed me *when i broke up with her i didn’t tell the real reason,i told her that i think we need a bit of time separated* also if she gets into that med university she will leave the city and go aprox. 150 kms away but i have a car and i always thought that we could make it work). Now i don’t know what to do anymore because i feel like my world is full of sadness. I really really want her back in my life . I know what i did wrong before i broke up and i am willing to change my bad habits. She told me she doesn’t want a relationship untill she finishes that admitance exam which is on 25 july,she said she doesn’t want anything not with me nor with that guy. I speaked with her and she told me that she still loves me and has feelings for me. I went into no contact for a week when accidentally met her ,the next day i texted her and told her that i still love her and that i’m sorry ,she apologized as well. I went in no contact for one more week and i simply couldn’t stay without here ( yeah i’m weak because i’ve put so much in this relationship that i can’t imagine doing for someone else) and i met with her and spoke for a bit. I tried to hide my neediness and did a good job overall..this week she has a party for the end of highschool and that guy invited her to be his partener and she told me and i acted cool not being jealous . Now i spoke with her yesterday and talked about GoT..for 1 minute..and about an exam i had.. and few minutes ago she texted me to see how i am doing and i told her that i’m busy and gonna talk to her later. I really don’tknow how to act to get her back. I know that i gotta get my confidence high again because she will surely not take me back with this attitude. So..could you please give me some advicr on what to do and how to act ? Thank you a lot. I watched your presentations but i do not have money to buy….:(

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, leave her be and give her space fist, all right? I supposed you broke up with her for a reason, so stick to that reason. I supposed you already know the drawbacks for breaking up with her…which leaves her entitled to date anyone she chooses, so be sure you don’t want her back just because she’s dating someone else, okay? Some people aren’t even aware they do it. I’m not saying this is the case with you for sure, but just to be aware of that fact. Watch this, too: Is Your Ex the Right Person For You? (5 Ways to Know For Sure) but before giving your relationship another shot, it would benefit you both to try to figure out what’s causing these arguments to happen and it’s best done with a clear head, so cut off contact for at least a month as staying friends won’t help. Good luck!

      Reply
      • Madalin Pinzaru
        Madalin Pinzaru says:

        Hey. Thank you for replying.
        I don’t want her back because she dates someone else,i am 100% sure of this, i want her back because i really loved her.a lot. i will try to keep on with the no contact time but her birthday is next week and i don’t know what should i do. Can you suggest me something please? Thank you very much.

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          You can send her a quick greeting and nothing else. Before you do, though, be sure to assess yourself first and if you’re really prepared if she responds or not or if life basically throws a curveball at you. If you aren’t confident enough, however, it’s time to really continue on with the 30-day “no contact” rule. Good luck!

          Reply
  114. Raju
    Raju says:

    Hi Brad, Me and my girlfriend loved each other 5 years back. she was ready to do anything for me. I cheated on her and went with other girl.. The other girl dumped me and I came back to my ex and asked my gf to marry me.. but she refused and stated that she cannot be a second option for me and lost trust on me. I tried to convince her, begged, pleaded nothing worked out. This happened 3 years back. And we separated again. Again she came speaking to me 2 years back and things were normal and she was friendly to me. After few months I spoke about having a relationship (marriage). she started yelling at me and left me. And now 4 months before she came speaking to me. She use to say that sometimes she thinks of having a life with me but the thoughts of my ignorance on her in the past had stopped further act. We were been together for past 4 months. She came very close to me like non stop chatting, calling often, facebook chat. It seemed like she cannot be there without speaking to me. Everything was in a good manner. Considering all these things as a positive sign, last month I spoke about getting marriage. There started the problem and now she is shutting down all communications. I said that I love you so much and I have much affection and care on you and cannot live without you. She dint respond at all. She use to say that there should not be any expectation from her at all.. If you are ok with that, then u can speak to me.. Else you go your way and I will go my way. But still she is speaking with me once or twice a day. she is saying that she cannot love me anymore. It is hurting me very badly and she is just as like normal. Fear of losing her for lifetime is killing me on the otherside.. cannot concentrate on things like work, regular hobbies, etc. The chest pain is very severe to handle which gives struggle of breathing sometimes.. Really dont know what to do at all.. Will I be able to get her back? 🙁

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Raju, do you know why she suddenly seems to run every time you bring the topic of marriage? It’s because you’re trying to take a huge leap forward when she’s barely able to trust you –yet. It’s like you want to run when you’re still learning to walk. The bottom line is try to take it slow, okay? If you keep bringing up the subject, you’ll make her question your motives. You have to earn her trust first and make her feel like she’s the only woman in your life, to make it more sincere. Running back to her just because your relationship failed with the other chick is a huge slap to her ego, man. So again, take things slow and learn how to walk first before you run, all right? 🙂 Put yourself in her shoes and don’t rush marriage. Good luck!

      Reply
      • Raju
        Raju says:

        Hi Brad, Thank you for the valuable advice and now I got hope from your words. And I got a clear idea of what am missing out. And understood the mistake of rushing things and losing trust step by step. I don’t know what to do and handle things and what step to move further. I wish to join your program. But little confused of joining which one? Considering all my problems and mistakes, kindly suggest me which program I should join? I wish that my girlfriend understand that am the man for her and should not leave me at any cost forever. And also I wish things should be reverse and let her be the one who should speak about our marriage and take a decision of living with me. Even am emotionally trapped and struggling with pain inside heart because of missing her and fear of losing her. I have to control my thoughts either. Kindly suggest which program should I join and get my love of my life back? :’-) Hope to hear from you soon. Thanks again.

        Reply
        • Brad Browning
          Brad Browning says:

          You’re welcome, Raju! Well, it seems like your girl is doing her best to want to trust you, but then again you rushing things just seem to complicate things. I suggest you take a step back. I know how you want things to be back to normal again with her, but you gotta have a little patience as well as taking the right steps along the way, okay? I suggest you sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Talk soon!

          Reply
  115. Donna
    Donna says:

    What do u suggest when the break up is fairly mutual because I want kids and he doesn’t want any more (his kids are grown). I dumped him first over a yr ago and this time he dumped me…is there any hope for our situation? We both really want to be together and the the last time we got back together he wanted to be more open minded about kids….then decided he couldn’t do it after all n dumped me….there just doesn’t seem to be a happy ending to this tragic romance. Please help

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      The main issue here, Donna, is that your goals are misaligned. Couples in a long term relationship need to meet halfway or make a compromise to keep both of you happy. Have you had that talk? Try to see why he isn’t wanting kids with you. Is he worried about your financial status or was it more like an emotional baggage on his end? Give him time and cut off contact. Let him miss you first and think clearly as he may be reacting from an emotional place. Good luck!

      Reply
  116. Enrique
    Enrique says:

    Hi brad me and my ex are broken up for a month i agreed in being just friends with her but everytime we meet she always treat like something i don’t know? shes being awkward to but for me i’m just acting being a friend should i be give her space but i have less than 2 days before she goes down. what should i do brad help.

    Reply
  117. danish supariwala
    danish supariwala says:

    Hey brad i had a breakup with my girlfriend 3 months ago she wanted space bt i dint gave her and the things wer getting spoiled each and evry day we still meet talk in very friendly manner during this phase she use to be with a guy and they both have got feelings for each other and she tld me clearly tht i cn be a friend in her life thats it she tlks to tht guy every night go out with him alone and treats me as a waste i dont know what to do now please help me out we had 3 years relationship we study in same colg as well please help me out

    Reply
  118. Natasha
    Natasha says:

    I can’t find the link you published here to how to get a private session with you. Can you resend it pls?

    Reply
  119. Brad Browning
    Brad Browning says:

    Friendship can always blossom into a full blown romantic relationship, but if it’s your ex you’re dealing with, there’s already history together and attempting to be friends right away is close to impossible, so yes, giving each other space as mentioned in the article is key.

    Reply
  120. Lisa
    Lisa says:

    Hey brad , I ended U.S. and regretted it , I told him so and he said , I have feelings for you , but not strong enough , he has also finished us and come back twice in a year .. He also wants to stay friends, should I give up?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Don’t be friends with him as it’ll only cloud your judgment more…and right now you ought to be looking at things from an objective perspective. I supposed you broke up with him for a reason, so try to see what those reasons are and what your intentions are for wanting him back. Some issues can be generally resolved but some can’t be reconciled, so this all depends on your situation and other factors at play. Read this free article, though: What to Do If You Broke Up With Your Ex… And Totally Regret It. Good luck!

      Reply
  121. prabha
    prabha says:

    hey brad
    well i m already applyying no contact rule before i saw your video.but not completely.me and my ex are not added in each others fb account but he keep texting me there but i never reply.ut when he text me on phone sometimes i reply and sometimes i keep my phone in switch off mode for a week .my ex wants me back as his gf but i want to marry him i donot want to be his gf .i love him a lot.i really donot know howto handle him.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Prabha, if there’s been a breakup, then there are clearly still some issues that you BOTH need to address first, so take it easy, all right? Any issues you have while in a relationship will double, if not triple, when married… so that’s something to ponder. Have you tried counseling to address these issues? You can both take your time to take it slow so you can think clearly and see what’s really happening. Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis. Take care!

      Reply
  122. Ankith
    Ankith says:

    Hey brad
    I have a doubt
    I am doing the no contact rule from the past 10 days and I have cut all contacts from her but I havent blocked her on facebook nor did I unfollow her on instagram, should blocking my ex on facebook necessary ? Wouldnt it be like too much ego and attitude from my side on her which will make her backfire the same and never take me back in her life ? We were totaly attached to eachother for one whole year thought we fought very much , we always made sure nothing could harm our relationship ! Need help brother to get her back 🙁

    Reply
  123. Leon
    Leon says:

    Hi Brad I did agree to being friends and it was exactly how you said it just brought up all the emotions and then I would here how she would talk about the new guy in her life and we did had a huge fight and said somethings to each other and now I have deleted her number so I cant contact her I was the one who broke up with her the first place because she cheated and I was ready to give her a second chance and after we had this huge fight how is it possible to get her back in the future

    Reply
  124. Laura
    Laura says:

    Hey Brad, I also bought your program and have read the whole e-book. That is amazing and I am trying to use your strategy to get my ex back. I had contact with him since breakup and kept sending message to him before. So now I am stuck in the “frined zone” 🙁 I know I had done something stupid and I want to aviod more mistakes because I really want to win him back. Now the question is, I want to cut off all the contact with him, but sometimes he still sends me message, like once a week, should I just igore his message or how I can deal with that situation? I need your advice. Thank you, Brad!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Great! I’m glad you now have the tool to guide you on what to do. Now I know it’s difficult (and it’s a different challenge all on its own) but try to follow the guide down to a tee, all right? Read it many times over until you master it. Anyway the first step is to be clear that you’re not interested in being just friends. This is an advantage for you to follow the 30-day “no contact” rule as mentioned in the book, okay? Use this as reference: How to Escape Your Ex’s Friendzone (please ignore the comment about it being for men, since the same concept applies for females as well, okay?)Take care!

      Reply
  125. Karl
    Karl says:

    Hey Brad, bought your program, love it. Hope it works. Question: I live with my ex, and we decided to be friends, but I started the ‘limited contact rule’, obviously things between us aren’t the same. I don’t feel like her friend, as much as it hurts, I try to avoid most interactions with her unless she initiates it. Should I just tell her we can’t be friends? She stated we shouldn’t live together if that’s the case, but right now we need to. Can I get her back by using the ‘limited contact rule’? Or is there something else I could try? Thanks for everything man, you’re the best!

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello Karl, that’s great! I’m glad you now have the tool to guide you on what to do. Now I know it’s difficult (and it’s a different challenge all on its own) but try to follow the guide down to a tee, all right? Read it many times over until you master it. Anyway your situation means the “no contact” rule is an exception, actually. This is also found in one of the topics on the guide, so be sure you don’t miss it, okay? You can be firm in telling her you can’t be friends, but omit the “no contact” part since like I said, your case is an exception since you’re both stuck in a living arrangement at the moment. Use this as reference, though: Escaping Your Ex Girlfriend’s Friendzone. And yes, you ought to keep things fun and light right now and don’t force her to anything. Getting an ex back ought to happen naturally, if you want it to last. Sign up for my coaching program if you need to discuss your problem in-depth and/or if you feel you haven’t disclosed some details I should know about, okay? Good luck, man!

      Reply
  126. Darshan Patel
    Darshan Patel says:

    Hey i was in a relationship with my Ex for 5 months.. I tried no contact technique and it really works now my Ex is back in my life and now we are in a relationship so i want to know how can i make it better again how to talk that she is madly falling in love with me agai please give some tips…

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hello there… getting an ex back is a process, so there’s no one-action solution for everything, okay? The “no contact” phase was a good start and I’m glad you’ve completed it. There’s two more phases to go with a few other steps in between. What I’m trying to say here is it’s a 3-step process, and it’s a bit complicated to explain it all on here, but I made an overview in the hopes of making people understand, so watch it here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup) and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. Good luck!

      Reply
  127. debasish mondal
    debasish mondal says:

    hi brad.your videos were a lot of help.i was in a relationship for almost a year.during the end i did not give her much time and she emo cheated on me with a 27 yr old guy who is married and has two kids.when i got to know i told her to leave him.but she did not.when i wanted to leave she begged and pleaded that she loves me and she only likes talking with the guy.i have read their texts it was not at all friendly.it was as couples talk.i am now following nc.my question is,is there a chance she will return and leave the other guy or will she forget me and continue her pursuits.as that nu situation is a new thrill for her?what should i do to get her back and continue our relationship as it was as first.(magical)

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hey man, sorry to hear about the breakup. I’m no expert at predicting stuff, so I’m afraid I can’t answer any of those questions. As to your other question though, on how you can possibly get her back, I suggest to cut off contact first. This has a lot of benefits already mentioned in my videos and will really allow you the time to calm down. The calmer you are, the less likely you are to make mistakes. Make sense? Read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. Okay? Good luck, man!

      Reply
  128. Reb87
    Reb87 says:

    Hey Im in a bit of a predicament. My ex and i were engaged but i walked out as it was extremely abusive and miserable relationship. We have a son together who lives with me now and adopted 2 girls who are actually his sisters. so they stay with him. Would i have to completely cut ties with the girls too? Problem is we still share a car and have to see him every morning till i can make an alternative. Really dont want to see him as he has become a bitter twat. Now its become Silence of the Lamb Ghost rides, and when need to ask something i get a very rude response back. Plus the girls keep filling me in on details about his life and new relationship (3 days after i moved) i’m really not keen on hearing as it hurts my growth. I wanted us to have an amicable break up for the sake of thee kids. But post breakup i’m seeing what an egomaniac this guy really is, to a point of making my life a living hell.

    Reply
  129. navishna
    navishna says:

    Hey hi brad, i’ve already done the no contact stuff but after that I sent him an “I miss you badly” as message and he replied “no comments”. From that day on, I completely stop hopping for anything but then he is in the same class as me, and he tend to talk to all the other girls and this gets me really jealous…what can I do?

    Reply
  130. Brandon
    Brandon says:

    hey brad, I have a question,ive been dating my ex for almost 3 years and my ex used to be absolutely obsessed about me and all was going well, but one day she we got into a fight and she said she was tired of me not being nice enough towards her and she broke up with me because of reasons like me being overly jealous and too controlling. I got scared and ended up begging for her back and out of pity she took me back, I ended up being overly nice and scared and I guess that made her lose attraction for me, she said that she has no feelings and I got scared and begged more, she talked to some guy online and they clicked and after a few more days of me begging she said she met this guy and she wants somebody who treats her better like him. after a few weeks of me still talking regularly to her and being extremely nice hoping she would want me again that guy online randomly blocked her form everything and she got depressed and I tried to use that as my opportunity to ask her to be mine again, she agreed but since i was overly nice and agreed with everything and was overly clingy she said she loves me but doesnt feel like im the one.
    Ive been taking her back and forth from work everyday but she seems to get more and more distant towards me and this break up situation has been going on for about a month and a half. I can stop taking her to work if I need to, Ive just been missing her so Ive been using that as a way to talk to her.

    I plan on going NC soon but i’m wondering how effective will no contact be even after all of this is going on? I’m so scared i’m losing her forever and would do anything to get her back and rekindle that lost attraction she felt for me and get a second chance at the relationship. Please help and thank you.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Hi Brandon, how exactly have you treated her in the relationship that she has to complain about it? In your defence, women do have a tendency to nag, so take some time off and try to see the role that you played in the breakup. At this point, it’s important to view things objectively so cut off contact for around a month since it helps you do just that, okay? Don’t rush it… and certainly do not be friends with her since it’ll be to your detriment. Learn to give space first. Read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you’ll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. Good luck!

      Reply
  131. andrea
    andrea says:

    Hi Brad, I LOVE your videos! Hey I had a question….my bf of 4 years broke up with me after a huge argument 3 weeks ago and I went into NC immediately after the break-up! OMG this has been soooo hard for me! Anyway, he hasn’t unfollowed me on instagram or twitter…(BTW I haven’t posted anything since the breakup) However I did block him from my Facebook. Long story short, I’ve been kinda cyber-stalking him….I KNOW that’s horrible! Well…I noticed his tweets and retweets are about things we talked about….one tweet says “You are a reflection of your own thoughts” ….the other says “Most Tattoos in Asia are written in English” ….I have asian tattoos…. and BTW he NEVER posted stuff like this before the break up! Another one of his tweets sounded like he was angry…it said “don’t judge a whole book based on one asshole” I just want your honest opinion…he’s always had poor communication unless he angry….but does it seem as though he’s trying to communicate with me through his tweets? He knows I still follow him…maybe he’s hoping I respond in some way. I plan on staying in NC for another few weeks, btw.

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      Thanks, Andrea! Cutting off contact includes NOT cyber-stalking them 🙂 Seriously though, this 30-day “no contact” period ought to be a time where you focus on yourself, okay? Looking at his profile from time to time will only drive you nuts and tends to make you overanalyze stuff. This is something I’ve discussed here: Are You Overanalyzing Your Ex’s Behaviour? and yes, continue to cut off contact for at least a month or more — without looking at any of his social media profiles this time. Good luck!

      Reply
  132. Sanjay
    Sanjay says:

    Brad,my problem is my gf wants to be friends but I told her I will not call /msg her any more.I have nc with her.but the problem is she is staying next door,she talks with me but I ignore her.another problem is I have her sim card which she had given to call her.shall I give her sim card.how many days should I nc her.thanks waiting for reply.

    Reply
  133. Quynh
    Quynh says:

    hi there
    what if I had followed No Contact Rule and then start to talk to her but she ignored me or blocked or something like that… what should I do about that? Like she gonna say “I’m taken” or ” I dont wanna talk to you?

    Reply
    • Brad Browning
      Brad Browning says:

      That clearly needs she needs more space, for whatever reason. The 30-day “no contact” rule is just average. You can opt to do more depending on the situation… and in your case, I think that’s really necessary. So work on yourself for now, okay? Also be sure that you DON’T text her something boring or something that is considered an “empty” text because that surely won’t provoke a response from an ex. Watch this: How to Re-establish Contact With An Ex. Good luck!

      Reply
  134. James
    James says:

    Hey brad me and my ex gf use to be best friends shw broke up with me once before and we kept going out and having sex in the end were a couple again this time she broke up with me and she stopped going out with me but she always asks about me and tells me if shes going out still gets jealous but pretends not to care she doesnt keep any secrets from me and she wants me to be her friend… I dont know what to do should i follow the no contact rule or just talk to her
    Ps. I see her everday because where in the same college have mutual friends and same lectures

    Reply
  135. Abhijeet
    Abhijeet says:

    Hey Brad,
    I bought you Ex factor program and was following it but with in few weeks of no contact period my ex had a serious health problem and I went to talk to her and the response wasvery good and I never thaught she would reply me like this every . So we started to talk ,she hardly replied some time but she shares everything that’s going in her life the new guy who proposed her and everything else. So I just wanted to ask you should I continue talking to her or indulge inmy no contact period. Mostly I start the conversation and when ever I give her a hint that I am going to talk abt our relationship she clear mention me dude you have no scope

    Reply