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Should I Be Friends with My Ex?

You’re in the midst of a breakup and you’re going through a whirlwind of emotions. How will you be able to survive daily life without your ex? You’ve become so accustomed to having them by your side.

And then, out of the blue, your ex says, “But I still want to be friends.”

Great, you think to yourself, at least I’ll still be able to have my ex around when I’m missing them like crazy. That should help me get through this, you think, nodding in agreement at your ex’s suggestion that you keep the friendship alive.

But is it really such a good idea? Is the “friend zone” a place you want to be?

Probably not, to be perfectly honest. Being friends with your ex is actually almost always a bad idea and a recipe for additional (and unnecessary) heartache. In this article, I’ll explain what your ex actually wants when they suggest you should remain friends… and why it’s unwise in almost every scenario.

Why Being Friends Is So Tempting

Here’s the reason so many people get stuck in the “friend zone” after a breakup – and end up suffering the negative consequences: at first, it seems like a great idea. 

friend zone memeI mean, your ex is giving you an option that allows you to maintain contact with the person you’ve loved for some time and, in theory, this will allow you to move on gently and slowly without the intense feelings of loneliness that often accompany a breakup.

After all, if you can slowly wean yourself off those romantic feelings rather than going “cold turkey” and shutting down all contact with your ex, isn’t that a better option?

The problem is that even though it often seems like a perfect compromise, being friends usually provides very little comfort and actually makes the process of moving on longer and more difficult – and complicated – than it needs to be.

So even though it may sound like a brilliant idea at first, entering into the “friend zone” with your ex is actually just going to make things more painful and more drawn out.

Scenario #1:  You’re Done with Your Ex & Want to Move On…

If you’re the one who initiated the breakup, or if you’ve come to realize that a permanent separation from your ex is wise, then being “friends” is unwise for one simple reason: it will cause at least one of you unnecessary emotional turmoil and heartache that can be avoided.

Think about it this way: your relationship is over, and among other things you hope to move on and begin a new love life with someone else. Whether or not that happens immediately doesn’t really change things, because the best way to move on from someone is to completely remove them from your life.

Which of the following options is going to be less painful and less difficult to handle:

  1. You let your ex go his or her own way and do your best to avoid learning what they are up to, who they’re dating, etc.
  2. You actively communicate with your ex and constantly remind yourself of what used to be between you. You learn about their new romantic partners, hear about their sexual escapades, etc.

Obviously the former option will make the entire breakup process less painful on an emotional level, and will help you move on more quickly. By keeping your ex in your life as a friend, you’re basically allowing yourself to constantly be tempted by reminding yourself of the past… and you’re also opening yourself up to potentially painful knowledge about your ex’s new love life.

In other words, if you want to survive the breakup and move on as quickly as possible, entering the “friend zone” with your ex is pretty much always counterproductive.

take the quiz

Scenario #2:  You Want to Get Back Together with Your Ex

If the breakup with your ex happened against your will and you’re trying to get back together with them, then “friendship” is even worse.

Sensual woman kissing her handsome husband

To begin with, you’ll face all the problems I mentioned above: the experience will be more painful and it will take longer for you to get over your ex.

Even though a significant portion of relationships can be salvaged, some breakups will be permanent no matter how hard you try to reverse them. So if you happen to fall into this category, then all you’re achieving by agreeing to be friends with your ex after the breakup is increasing your emotional suffering and making the process of moving on more difficult than it needs to be.

There are a few other huge problems with agreeing to be friends with your ex if you want to win them back:

  • It won’t give them a chance to develop feelings of nostalgia and to miss you as much as if you aren’t around. As I explained in my article on how to get your ex back, one of the key ingredients to repairing a relationship is allowing enough time to pass that your ex begins to miss you like crazy. How do you make someone miss you? Simple: disappear from their life suddenly and completely, shutting down all lines of communication. By maintaining a friendship with your ex, it’s impossible to really effectively disappear from their radar and therefore for them miss you.
  • It gives complete control of the situation to your ex. Another key to winning back your ex is to make it clear that you are still equals, even if they decided to break up with you. You need to make it known that you’re not a pushover and that if your ex isn’t interested in a romantic relationship, then they’re cut from your life altogether.
  • You serve as a “safety net” for your ex while they look for someone new.  Do you want to be your ex’s confidante while they tell you about their new lover(s)? Do you want to be the backup quarterback in case things don’t work out with the new romance they’re pursing? Of course not. You have to make it absolutely clear to your ex that if they choose to break up with you, they’re on their own and they can’t come running back to you if they find the single life less fun than they’d imagined it would be. By stating in no uncertain terms that you’re not going to be sticking around when your ex decides to bail on your relationship, you’re telling them that you’re not wiling to be their “plan b”; you have dignity and pride and are worth being someone’s “number 1”.

Add those things together and the supposed “advantages” to being friends with your ex after a breakup seem much less appealing. In reality, there really isn’t any scenario in which being friends after a breakup (at least for the first few months) is a good idea.

How to Say No to the Friend Zone

If I’ve managed to convince you that being friends with your ex is an awful idea, then you may be wondering how to go about saying no to your ex. That can be especially tricky if you’re looking for a way to win them back and start fresh with your them in the future.

texting ex boyfriendI recommend saying something like, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for either of us to be friends right now. I was interested in being your [boyfriend/girlfriend] but I don’t really think being friends is going to be good for either of us. No hard feelings, though, and I wish you all the best.”

Saying that makes a clear stand on the issue without slinging any mud or closing the door to a possible future reconciliation. You want to make sure there’s no ambiguity or confusion over the issue, but you also want to be polite and diplomatic so as not to start any unnecessary conflicts.

If you’ve already agreed to being friends with your ex and you need help escaping the “friend zone,” I recommend you head over to my website and watch the free video that I’ve posted there. It will give you some more advice on how to proceed with your ex and how to escape the friend zone without shutting them out of your life permanently.

It’s often difficult to handle your ex when they want to be friends and you want to be lovers, and you need to tread carefully. That’s why I dedicated an entire section of my Ex Factor program to this topic, and I often help folks get through their unique situations.

Again, here’s a link to my website where you can claim a copy of my program (backed by a 100% money-back guarantee of course!) and sign up for my free email course.

Best of luck avoiding the dreaded “friend zone” – I welcome any questions or comments, so please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section at the bottom of this page.

About Brad Browning

Brad Browning, BA, is the world’s premiere breakup & marriage coach. Brad Browning’s The Ex Factor Guide, a program that teaches men and women how to win back their ex lovers, has sold thousands of copies worldwide. Brad has also released a similar program called Mend The Marriage that teaches married couples how to revitalize the spark, romance, and desire that’s been long forgotten. To top it all off, Brad’s YouTube channel has over 50 thousand subscribers and almost 7 million views, making his videos the most-watched and liked videos on YouTube!

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Lammy
Lammy
11 days 8 hours ago
Hello Brad.. I’ve been watching your videos for some days now after things went downhill with my boyfriend. We work in the same organisation and have been dating for over a year before I realized he was seeing another girl at our workplace. I confronted him with the knowledge I had and that’s how things got bad. He denied, said she was just a friend and went further to accuse me of spreading the story about them both at work. I tried to tell him I didn’t spread any story, he’s adamant and refuses to listen and has been really cold and distant. I started the no contact rule, finished in 21 days so I texted him on my dad’s birthday. He responded well, said happy birthday to my dad. I went silent for about 5 more days when he texted me out of the blues to give me an… Read more »
Danielle
Danielle
12 days 1 hour ago
Hi Brad! My ex and I broke up exactly 13 days ago after we had gotten into a little political tiff(I said some pretty harsh stuff but nothing mean towards him). The split was mutual at first and then I realized it’s not what I wanted. We talked once or twice right after the break up and then a little over a week after we saw each other because I had quite a bit of his personal belongings. I met him at a mutual friends house and he invited me in, I started getting my hopes up because he didn’t just ask for his stuff. We all hung out for about 3 hours. As we were leaving we stood outside and started to talk about the breakup, he said he doesn’t think we belong together and we have different views and ideas. He told me he’s been unhappy for a… Read more »
Joe
Joe
14 days 22 hours ago
Brad just want to thank you for all of this and tell you I respect what you do and you are apriecated…. So I was living with my ex for about 5 years, the first year she moved from her hometown to be with me in mine, at the time she was only 22 and her family did not approve but she still moved in with me and left her hometown.. 1 year later we moved to her hometown and I left my whole family and friends to make her happy and so she can finish school there.. We lived there for the last 4 years and we have been very happy and great but her mom never forgave me till this day for taking her daughter away that first year even thou I brought her back….which means I wasn’t invited for holidays and I was treated horrible by her..… Read more »
Nana
Nana
20 days 9 hours ago
Hello Brad… My Ex doesn’t text me or even flashed me for the past one month now we broke up….. it was her idea to brake up with me.. and i really want her back. I deployed your No Contact Strategy after one month of our breakup…. just one week in the No contact Period I sent her a big interest message which reads:”Hey, Just heard that( a gospel musician) is coming to town… Just remembered how much you love her programs…. Hope everything is going well”?…..I got this reply from her in an hours time” Hi… Oh ok.. is good to hear.. but you know I can’t make it because of my busy schedule… I hope you will be able to?….Am doing well.. how about you?…I gave her this reply after 2hours to her after two hours of receiving her reply…. This was my reply….” I know right.. May… Read more »
Danielle cummins
Danielle cummins
21 days 22 hours ago
Hey brad, My ex and i broke up a year ago we have a child together and he left me fo another woman. But he told me the reason he cant get back with me is because he now has a criminal record because of me where we argue so much the cops was called. We was in a relationship for four years and when he left me and got with this other girl i filped and they broke up and since then me and him was messing around , but me not knowing it he was dating someone else and cheated on her with me and made me the other woman. He had cheated on me before. I know i guess im stupid vut i do love him and i do know somewhere deep down he loves me still. He said he cant be with me now but you… Read more »
Prince
Prince
25 days 7 hours ago

Hey Brad, about 7 months ago my girlfriend broke up with me.But she told me to be just friends.And i had done all the major mistakes which u highly recommended not to do.She is now very happy. She told me that i was a mistake which she cannot repeat and she do not believe in second chances.She also told that my caste is different and her parents wont allow this relationship.Now she doesn’t even care about me.She is a very good girl and because of my overpossessiveness i lost her.
I am really in a devastated condition.
Please help me what should i do.
How to make her fall in love again with me.
Awaiting for your response.

Tely
Tely
26 days 6 hours ago

Hi I broke up with my ex week ago, and I can’t contact him ,bcx he blocked my number, I try to call him and text him with different number, but no answer,no reply back I guess he knew it was me texting him, what can I do to get in touch with him, what can I do to get him back, I miss him so bad, and want talk to him, please help

Jillian
Jillian
1 month 1 day ago
Hello Brad! My boyfriend of 11 months and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. He is 23 and i am 22 years old. Everything was going really smoothly and it was great but he suddenly disappeared on me without giving me an explanation. i tried talking to him but he refused to give me a straight answer. It was as if he completely changed with me. I asked his friends about his behavior and they said he is normal and chilled out. I gave him space but frustrated, I texted him to at least clear everything out. That is when he gave me the break up speech saying that he is really sorry and his parents don’t approve of me and he discussed this matter with a friend and has decided to end this relationship because their decision is his priority. He also stated that he wants to be… Read more »
Sonam
Sonam
1 month 4 days ago
Hi Brad, Last week my boyfriend of 8 months (5 months London distance ) wanted to end things. He said it is exhausting and unable to be emotionally available to me. However, says he still loves me and miss me. That time I was not in the right mind, due to work stress and his bringing that up was unexpected as we did not have any fights before. So I told him I needed some time and space to think about it and I would like him to think it over too. We have not contacted since then, until Sunday I was passing through a place and it reminded me of him…so I left a text about it but I did not say I love him or miss him as such. HE called me back we talked for few mins and I ended the call saying we ll talk further… Read more »
Anita lamichhane
Anita lamichhane
1 month 7 days ago

Hi brad,
My boyfriend broke up with me. It’s about 5 month. I loved him alot and i does too. Due to the family and society issues he broke up with me. It’s has become 2years of our relationship.he said I don’t want to be in relation becoz or won’t get sucess we can’t get married later so it is better to leave it now. I tried every moment to talk now he didn’t listen to me . Even he didn’t talk to me. He talks rudely.Now what should I do to get him back? Is it possible to get him back forever.

Jakob
Jakob
1 month 13 days ago
Hey brad it’s been going on 3 weeks off my break up and no contact. She said she fell out of love and wanted everything to with me but not a label of a relationship pretty much. I was her first love and realized my wrong doing in the relationship after thinking about if we’re right for eachother. I realized how good things could’ve been and that it actually can work. When we broke up I confessed and apologized for my actions and said I don’t wanna be friends I still love you if you need anything call me and I left. I want to try to get her back soon. I’ve watched a good percent of your videos and been bettering myself durning this time, which I thank you for. If you could please give me some advice on how to get her attention to text me again or… Read more »
Betsy
Betsy
1 month 14 days ago

Hi Brad,

My boyfriend broke up with me after 7months…we were really in love and I really messed it up. When I was on my period I was super emotional, mean and threatened break ups a few times. He had enough. I am working on myself hardcore and know I have to change this pattern. We are a werk into no contact. Is there anything in your guide if you really messed up bad? Also, is it ok for him to see me on the same dating site?

pallab
pallab
1 month 16 days ago

Hey Brad it’s been 2 months she break up with me after that I begged and pleaded Nd after one month of break up I started the no contact method Nd one night she texted me and I hve done the same mistake that I flow out of emotions then after that I have again started the no contact now she has txted me again but I hve ignored the txt Nd I wished her birthday tonight . I think that now she is completely feeling less Nd she will never come back .

Justin
Justin
1 month 18 days ago

Have been dating my girl for the past two years then she had to travel to another country for work just for one year. Everything was beautiful before she left. After that things began to get ugly slowly. We argue a lot. Guess I became too needy. Suddenly she feels like it’s not working out and she’s not sure she wants to continue. She said “am confuse and am not sure if I want to be with you or leave you”. She suggests for a two months break and after which she will tell me if she wants to continue or not. And in the break she wants us to still communicate but as friends. What does this mean and what can I do?

Jimmy
Jimmy
1 month 18 days ago
Hi Brad, I have seen all of your videos and bought your book. She broke up with me because I didn’t listen enough to her and give her the ability to tell her stories. I told her it was the first I heard about it and wanted to fix the issues, but she still broke it off (though I know she’s not sure if this was the right decision, as she has other life issues she’s dealing with like job, money and injury, etc…). I caved after 4 days of no contact and did post rad things to my social media. We are big runners (our passion in life) so I texted her saying “my partner bailed and need a new running partner for this awesome trail, interested?” She wrote right back and told me she was interested but was injured (truth, but didn’t know how bad). She would go… Read more »
Juan
Juan
1 month 22 days ago
Hey brad i broke up with my girlfriend a month ago, i tried to use the no contact method for alike 4 days but i couldnt make it i end up talking to her, she told me when want to be alone that she doesnt want anybody in her life for now. We broke up because i was jealous and i didnt give her space. We dated for 11 month and i fall deep inlove with this girl, we talked like friends even though thats not what i want. But everytime i talk to her about our past relationship she always gets angry and end up not talking to me. I have 2 weeks since i dont talk about our past relationship but i dont think thats going to change anything between us. Shes sure about her decision and thats what scares me the must that i cnt win her… Read more »
Jay
Jay
1 month 24 days ago

Hey Brad, thanks for the article. My girl and I have been apart about 2 months. 3 weeks ago she told me she missed me and we had a “let’s try to work it out” convo….a couple days later she tells me it’s not going to work and that she’s onto someone new. She hit me with a “let’s hangout as friends, it’ll never be more” about a week ago, I didn’t respond and have been in NC. How long do you suggest I stay in NC given her new relationship?

Emma
Emma
1 month 24 days ago
Hi, I came here looking for help and advice on how to get things back on track with my ex. We have been together for 15 year, married for 5 this October. He started to become very needy always wanted to be next to me, got jealous over everything! (Even me reading!) I went to Paris for w nights with a girlfriend and I rang him from the effilé tower, I was so excited and wanted him and oUR daughters to see where I was ect but he was so angry and bitter  (that had been going on for a while) when I got home he shouted at me and said the most horrible things, he didn’t want to see my photos or ask me anything but my daughter where really excited to hear. Two days later I was doing the dishes and he started shouting at me I just… Read more »
Rocky
Rocky
1 month 26 days ago

Hi brad ,actually i have a question what does it mean if you are following the “no contact rule “and your x start putting guys picture on what’s app,last time i talk to her she told me to take over it and then i use the no contact rule and i notice that she start putting guys dp on her what’s app does it mean she’s trying to say something or a sign or make me jealous cuz its near one month I’m not contacting her and you really helped me by your video in many ways
Thanks .

Molly
Molly
1 month 27 days ago

Curious if you think your Ex Factor tactics will be successful in my situation. 14 year relationship living together. I didn’t see it coming. “I love you but not IN love with you.” I’d like to try the 30 day No Contact but it’s difficult because he’s slowly moving out. Coming once a week for more stuff. He wants the house out of his name, bills separated, etc. Has been willing to support financially for the time being. Suggestions??

Raashi
Raashi
1 month 28 days ago
Hey Brad! I’m Priyanka. Me and my ex were in a such an intimate relationship. We thought we could never lived without each other. It was so intense. Lately he lost all the feelings and love he used to have. He says he is feeling guilty because he is giving me hopes that he will be there with me till the end and marry me and all. In the starting or may be till a year, he was so sure that he is gonna stay with me for life and now he is doing this. He left to USA for higher studies this August. I was feeling bad because he won’t be here anymore but I dint expect to get a heartbreak like this. I asked him you would have told me in the starting itself about the hopes and all, I would have taken you so seriously and he… Read more »
Adriana
Adriana
2 months 9 days ago
Hi Brad, I’m Adriana, I just went through a breakup about 1 month and 3 days ago. I’m really confused and I just simply don’t understand why did it happen. So I decided to tell you my story, because i think it’s a unique one, and i really need your help. I mean desperately. At the begining of our relationship after 2 years, i broke up with him. We both made mistakes, but after 3 months, i realized, i couldn’t live without him, and i wanted him back. So in February i told him, that i wanted to start again. The answer was: „it’s not up to me.” So we started to hang out, and we began to behave as if we were a couple. Although nothing was the same. But i accepted, it couldn’t be. Then, about six months later, i asked him: what is going on between us?… Read more »
Matthew
Matthew
2 months 10 days ago

Dear Brad, I understand why it’s a bad idea to suggest friendship to your ex girlfriend/boyfriend, but I’m a tiny bit confused why we were suggesting it to them with the “clean slate” email :
‘… I’m moving on. I hope we can still be friends down the road, though… “. Was the purpose of this to make him feel we are in lo 0?

Lebo
Lebo
2 months 12 days ago

Hey Brad,

My boyfriend broke up with me few weeks ago. We have been communicating ever since. The thing is when we don’t talk at all it hurts so much but when we communicate I actually feel better about the situation. I think I want him back and I still have feelings for him. He says the reason for the break up is that is he not ready to be in love with someone, he claims that he has insecurities, self doubt and is not in a good state emotionally. He keeps on telling me that he will always love me but strongly believes that the break up is for the best. I’m so confused. Your assistance will be highly appreciated Brad

Tinoy John
Tinoy John
2 months 15 days ago

Hi Brad,

My gf of 3 years broke up with me stating that she doesn’t feel it for me anymore. It’s been two months since this happened. So from that period I’ve tried to have a no contact with her but I’ve always messed it up. Today I did meet her and told her that I still have feelings for her and she did end up making me a “friend”. I have a feeling that if I stay friends with her there might be chances that I could fix everything. There’s another guy in the picture who has expressed her his feelings after the breakup but he’s told her that he would be friends if nothing happened. I’m lost now and I do not know what to do. You’re the expert here Brad. Please help me out.

Sean
Sean
2 months 15 days ago
Hey brad I want to start off by saying I’m 18 an so was my girlfriend, we dated for over a year and always stood by each other through everything. The love we both had for each other was so real. We were both each other’s best friend and each other’s everything and I thought I had truly found the girl of my dreams. We both loved each other unconditionally and went through so much together but she still broke my heart. We broke up about three days ago and have still been talking like we did before because we both don’t want to ruin the friendship that we built during our year together because we were so close. Her main reasoning behind wanting to break up was because she needed to be alone and need time to herself and she thinks we both do to help ourselves grow and… Read more »
Dave
Dave
2 months 16 days ago
Hello.. I just went through a breakup a couple of weeks ago. It lasted for good 3-4 months, the love was intense and real. Yes, it’s a long distance relationship and I was almost ready to visit her. Now.. she had been in a relationship with her ex-boyfriend for one year (went just fine) and then broke up two times afterwards (rebound relationship) and he was being verbally abusive via text and called her a whore and other painful derogatory remarks. During my relationship with my ex-girlfriend after she broke up with him, he again broke NC rule and made derogatory text message every 2 weeks. Then last week he pleaded and begged her to make peaceful amends and forgive n’ forget. She unblocked him and let him in his life; as a result of this, she broke me up for trivial reasons (half truth & half lie) until I… Read more »
Mariana
Mariana
2 months 20 days ago

Hey Brad, first, i thank you so much for those advices and orientations, but i have a questio , why would refusing the frienship with ex be a risk of ending any sort of contact with them after? I mean that i was thinking that the ex would try to get closer from you because he kind of got used to you in his life and no one was caring about him as much as you did so the ex can’t handle the idea of being out of your life totally wich will bring the ex back in place of pushing him or her away. Ok please give me your opinion if im wrong or right abt this :-) thank you

jassi
jassi
2 months 21 days ago

Hey Brad, its been a while since the breakup and i m about 10-12 days into the no contact zone. Whenever i see my ex she is having a nice time with her friends and i really don’t feel she is missing me. I display a strong character in front of her and i always make myself look happy with my life and friends. I dont feel the same from inside and i really want her back. Can you give me some advice regarding this because this no contact thing doesn’t seem like working for me

priya
priya
2 months 22 days ago
Hey Brad, its really a hard time for me…I and my ex broke up 5 months ago..our relation started with friendship..we are very good friends..he proposed me first..i rejected..still we r good friends..though we were not into a serious relationship..our emotions are very intense..later on i got feelings towards him..then he said he don’t love me anymore..Most of the time I used to cry talking to him about his rejection because he is the only person i could share..he feels bad about my situation..now he seeing another girl,he didn’t go into a serious relation with her but I am not able to take this..I am not over him yet..I don’t want to loose his friendship too..even he wants me to be as his friend despite of all the pain I am suffering..Our friendship is so pure and we are always honest to each other…What to do now?? please guide me… Read more »
Ashish
Ashish
2 months 25 days ago
Hey Brad, I just want to say that it’s really hard time bro….more than year relationship i can’t forget …..how is it possible she forgot it ….it’s the time I feel like I am alone no one is helping me out bro many questions are in my mind whether I think she moved on….but the think is that we are really close to each other like she come to home twice how she forget ever think every day we spend 4 hrs while seating with each other and spending time on phone….like 6 hrs daily but how it is possible ….after break up she can’t even contact me….the major drawback is ….I just beg for her like aa Beger I don’t know y but saying sorry is like …….she just simply said don’t call me or message me again…my heart was dead I am fully dead at that time… till… Read more »
Teo
Teo
2 months 29 days ago
Hi Brad, Me and my ex were together 4 months and had a very powerful love between us. She was a jealous person and we were arguing about some meaningless topics. After all that arguments I have decided to break up with her and then found out that it was not the right decision. Then I tried to get back with her then her answer was, we fell apart and and she does not want to be with me anymore. On our last talk she was holding my hands telling me that she still loves me but she needs some time and if there will be something between us again the time will show it. She needed time and does not want a relationship right now. She got used to being single. Do you think during this break up time, she moved on to someone else ? I am doing… Read more »
Rose
Rose
3 months 10 hours ago
Hi brad, Me and my ex were together 2 years and lived together. We loved each other very much but arguments began to take their toll and then I became more paranoid when a girl from his work kept messaging. He always said they were just friends. He broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and moved out. Last weekend I was out and saw him kissing this girl from his work but he assured me it was nothing and just happened drunk. Two days later I bumped into them at the pub but he again said they are just friends and were meeting to clear the air before they went back to work. I’m not doubting if hes told the truth about the break up but am confused why now he wouldn’t just be honest about it? He’d told my family and friends that he’d planned on proposing… Read more »
Bryan
Bryan
3 months 4 days ago
My ex fiance and I were together for almost 3 years and it was pretty intense for most of it. We got engaged after 6 months and moved in together in a new city she transferred to for work after 11 months. During this time, in the last few months of our relationship, I started growing cold towards her. Eventually I told her I needed to move out of the house and have some space. I also told her I did not want to break up with her during this time. On July 1st, I moved out. A few days later, I came back and told her it was a mistake and that I wanted to mend the relationship. She told me she needed space, time to miss me, and to find herself. Well for the next 6 weeks, we were still sleeping together and talking and doing other stuff.… Read more »
mounika
mounika
3 months 5 days ago

hey brad…my relationship is from past 6 years…because of my parents i left him but i can’t forgot him and still he is loving me but he is not showing his love how can i change him plzz i need advice

edward
edward
3 months 6 days ago

Hey brad… I need advice… I was in a relationship with my girl for 6 years and she broke up with me a week before my birthday we even have a child together that’s a year old now… we had our fair share of arguments but we always worked it out …. our last argument she told me to get my act together so I did exactly what sh wanted and she left me still! So I need advice please

John
John
3 months 14 days ago
Hi. My ex initiated the breakup and I understand why she chose to do so. We had small arguments that led to one big one while I was away on vacation and she blew up because she told me that she bottled up feelings about the arguments because she was afraid of how I would react. We’re in the part of our lives where long distance was the only option so she realized that there’s no point to keep trying in the relationship since we don’t have time. But, she told me that after we both work on ourselves, she wants to try again because she was done with the relationship but not done with me. She said she feels all the same feelings as I do but she was just done trying relationship wise. I’ve been giving her time since we broke up but I always want to talk… Read more »
Liah
Liah
3 months 16 days ago
Hello Brad, I’ve been watching you videos recently. On September, my 30 no contact will end and I feel like, I don’t know what to do next. My boyfriend broke up with me last July 22, 2016. He said that he didn’t love me anymore and he sees me as a friend only. We were together for 3 years and 7 months, I’m not sure if the 7 months, he still loves me o pretended that he loves me. Our anniversary is Dec 15 which is my birthday, he said that he still love me during that period, we fought last march because I teased him on his crush before, he broke up with me because of that and I apologized to him and begged to stay. He stayed and we had many family bonding in the next months. He helped me to apply for the scholarship so we can… Read more »
Lorna
Lorna
3 months 24 days ago
Hi Brad, Me and my ex were together for about 2 years overseas. Things didn’t work out and I moved back home for a fresh start. He then came with his family for a visit and gave me all the signals that perhaps we would get back together. As the holiday ended, I left the ball in his court and decided to see if he wanted to give things another shot. I gave him weeks and finally decided to ask him what was going on because it set me back a lot.. waiting and wondering. Anyway, he decided that we should move on. I was shocked and hurt but I decided that was okay and was very pleasant in my response. I tried this friendship idea for months and it only brought me back to square one, so i told him i didn’t want to be friends and we should… Read more »
trice
trice
3 months 27 days ago

Hello me and my ex husband have been trying to make things work one min he wants to be in an relationship with me and the next me he do not, and now he want to be friends. Yes I love him but he can not stop with this confused mess I have to move on with my life and be happy. What should I do at this time?

Anthony
Anthony
3 months 29 days ago
My girlfriend and I broke up about 4 weeks ago. I have been in NC for about 3 weeks. She called me the perfect boyfriend and she said that I am everything she wants in a boyfriend. She said that I am the boyfriend she deserves, however she feels like something is missing. She doesn’t know what that something is but felt like she needed to end things because of this. She told me she doesn’t want to lose me out of her life and considers me her best friend… I told her she doesn’t get the best of both worlds and left. Since then she has invited me out once and even a invite over to her house to watch a movie, which we all know what that was meant to be, but I am here asking you what she means by somethings missing?? She doesn’t know what that… Read more »
Lynn
Lynn
4 months 3 days ago
Hey Brad, I need advice on my situation so here it goes. My ex and I are both 32 years old and have been broken up for about 9 months now. He ended the relationship back in October of 2015, the day after my birthday. We celebrated it with a nice dinner and boom, I get a text message the next day saying he needed some space. I followed through with the NC(no contact rule) and focused on me. Joined a gym/all women bootcamp, lost 10 lbs, restarted a few businesses I’d talked about when he and I were together, and spent more time with family/friends. On Mothers Day I received a “Happy Mothers Day” text from him. I replied with a simple “Thank You.” And left it at that. Fast forward a few months later I sent the famous “accidental but intentional” text which opened up a short convo… Read more »
Katia
Katia
4 months 6 days ago
Hi Brad, I have been doing no contact with my ex for over 30 days. he dumped me by text the last Tuesday in June, saying that he was feeling low,he wasn’t “boyfriend material” and it wasn’t fair on me. (I know this is bull and its about attraction). The only communication I have had with him since then was a text back to him a day or so later to say I was sorry he’d been feeling low, and that I felt devastated, but if he needed to talk I could listen. I didn’t expect or get a reply, and I have left him alone since then. I haven’t found the no contact particularly difficult because I have no idea what to say to him. In fact the idea of texting him anything to just be ignored or rejected is terrifying to me, but then so is the idea… Read more »
Joni
Joni
4 months 9 days ago
Hey Brad , I know this is not right what I am about to ask but here goes … My ex just COLD TURKEY faded away from me .. Here is my story .. We have been together for 10 years .. Not a normal relationship but a very close one ! However … Here is the awful part .. We are BOTH married ! About a year ago he left his wife .. For only about 3 months both filed for divorce . But days before it was final he went back because he said he missed his two kids that are 6 & 4 . Yes he had two kids with her because they have never gotten along and she is very needy & trapped him with the kids . When he got back together with her about a year ago he admitted to her about us …… Read more »
Anton
Anton
4 months 12 days ago
Hey Brad, greetings from Austria. Me and my Ex broke up exactly 2 Months and 2 days ago, i wrote to her some apology and love letters and after 3 Weeks she started replying and unblocked me. One day i stood in front of her house (not the first time) because i saw her beeing at home whilst driving past it. She embraced me and hugged me. Time went on and she commited that she still loved me but isnt sure if she wants me back. (I have changed, dramatically, just for her). Time passed and we slowly grew together again. Since 3 Weeks everything is nearly perfect and we have a perfect “friendship +”. But that isnt my goal and our goal to get back together faded from her side. Yesterday we talked (a lot) and she still isnt ready for a relationship with me again, but is willing… Read more »
Sia
Sia
4 months 12 days ago

Hey brad..I was dating this guy for past three years we were very close but it was always on and off for him now he decided to break up saying he wants to be single I am not sure if he is dating someone but there might be possibilities .suggest how should I get him back

Al Dayton
Al Dayton
4 months 14 days ago

Hello Brad. I’ve bought your program & have read it many times. Its great. My question is this. Its been 3 months since she left me. My ex hasn’t changed her address so she still gets her mail here. Shes never given back my key. Her & I text everyday & its about 50/50 on who starts it. We see eachother once about every 2 weeks & we have fun. She is seeing someone new but almost never mentions him. Should I take these as good signs? Thank you.

Rodney
Rodney
4 months 17 days ago

Hey brad
So me and my girlfriend broke up a month ago and it was because she fell out. She stop being in love with me and I tried everything to get her back flowers candy even tried to be her friend going to see her and fought for our relationship but nothing. She said she wanted to be friend but that’s not even working out and she’s already talking to another people. It’s seem no matter what I do she wants nothing to do with me and I don’t know what to do anymore. When I saw her for the last time we spoke but I was still in love and she just saw me as her friend but when we got on the train we acted like the past acted like a couple and even give a few kisses but still nothing so…What should I do?

Yulonda Bland
Yulonda Bland
4 months 17 days ago

So Brad what would be the best one for same sex ex’s

Jono
Jono
4 months 19 days ago
Hey Brad, So my girlfriend (of 5 years) and I broke up in March but have a long lease on our rental so we’ve been persevering with living with one another. For all intents and purposes, the breakup was amicable and came down to the cliche “i love you but i’m not in love with you any more” line *cue heart stabbing feeling*. Over the next couple of months i nailed the ‘no contact despite living with one another still’ by being courteous and nice, but noticeably distant and not a support mechanism for her, and, at the beginning of June (after her flirting and being subtlety tactile for a couple of weeks) we ended up having a very close intimate weekend together when she jumped on me, kissed me passionately and admitted she’d wanted to do it for a couple of weeks. She was impressed that i’d gone away… Read more »
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